E - 3 LFS as Wives: Submission
- Our dictionaries define submission as: the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person. For example: they were forced into submission. Similar words: yielding, agreement, acceptance, consent, surrender.
- Biblical definition: a wife who respectfully, lovingly assists him in making decisions pleasing to God. She is a wife who makes the choice not to deceitfully or secretly resist her husband’s will. A wife who practises this submission is by definition a woman with strength of character.
- To best explain biblical submission, it might be helpful to first explain what it is NOT.
- It is not, servanthood, inferiority, degrading and it is not a sign of weakness
- It is not to be done with bitterness and resentment
- It is not demeaning, degrading or humiliating
- It is not being a doormat, always silent, always a ‘yes’ person
- It is not GOD-ORDAINED that a wife be a doormat
Biblical submission IS:
- It is a sign of strength, it requires a great degree of personal strength of character to be humble and submissive
- It is to have an opinion, be able to express it, politely, unemotionally, without being nasty
- It is about being supportive with a positive attitude
- It is acting this way because it is A CHOICE she makes, willingly, joyfully, helpfully
- It is being an invaluable partner to her husband by giving wise advice and offering suggestions
- Ideally, with a husband that doesn’t have control issues, he would value a wife who treats him with respectful submission. He would ‘love her as himself’.
This is what he would find:
- She is a pleasure to be around
- He admires her because he can trust her, he can feel at peace and content
- He can trust her with his deepest desires and fears because he is NOT afraid of her scorning him, competing with him or rejecting him
- He can relax with her because he knows that even when he makes mistakes, she will be working with him to help him put them right
- He can feel secure in himself that she will be minimising the consequences of his mistake rather than trying to prove a point or reject him in some way
- He knows she respects him as a husband who accepts his responsibilities as a leader in the home. He has confidence that she is not in any way trying to belittle him or deceive him.
- Additionally: a wife who truly understands and practises biblical submission can develop a healthy sense of confidence as a sister of Christ.
5. There are times when an unGodly/disobedient husband cannot be followed. A sister cannot submissively compromise her Godly principles in that circumstance. She must prayerfully adhere to what she knows to be God’s law. We also need to carefully establish boundaries with our partners. This begins at the beginning of our relationship. There are certain behaviours that are not to be tolerated. We are to lovingly and clearly state, when not in anger, what those boundaries are and the consequences of them ignoring those fences.
When we correctly understand and apply the above, this would be a work-in-progress for every Godly-centred couple (man and woman), it would make for much better marriages, parents, and ecclesial members.