Agenda | Capacity Assessment | Mission | Systems

Vision

An NGL physical community is alive and thriving, an oasis of vision and well-being that nourishes all who are part of it: the core community, supporters, long-term visitors, and short-term guests. Purpose orientation, impact sharing, and capacity-based resource flow are integrated into our functioning. We have taken major leaps towards living as interdependent beings in full reverence for ourselves, each other, and life as a whole. We have enough people to support the deepening of ceiling capacity experimentation. We have integrated celebration and mourning into every facet of our living and simply enjoy, physically, the experience of being alive.

The Mycelium Web is in full shared risk across several active nodes of experimentation. Many of us, especially within the physical community, have taken significant steps towards attending to needs outside the market economy.

The Lineage Experiment includes clear lineage carriers in each of the tracks and integrates ongoing learning from active experiments throughout NGL. Our experiments are documented and multiple people write blog posts on The Fearless Heart. The Liberation University is active and NGLers are pursuing collective advanced degrees. Several books have been published authored by NGL people, including dissertations from the university.

NGL’s Financial Gift Hub sustains enough people to care for all of NGL’s vital functions, systems, and projects. We steward a growing number of outward-facing projects in addition to courses and gatherings. Clear pathways exist for people to do sufficient liberation work while contributing meaningfully to NGL and for people to join NGL when they are able to function within baseline capacity.

Values

Visionary presence as noticing what is already working and the distance we’ve already traveled even when the gap is painfully present

Seeding as sourcing from soft strength to keep deepening and expanding our experimentation in service to life

Reverence as slowing down enough to be transformed, moment by moment, by the life flows that are present, even when submerged, in all that exists on the material plane

Life flows, subtleties of

submerged flow of life in

Alive withness

Things within agency, that i’m not empowered to do and that cannot be compensated for

  • Care for body
  • Entrustment
  • Participating in de-prioritising my needs
  • Orientation to needs
  • Orienting to pleasure

  • Reverence for my limits as noticing collective capacity limits and leaving situations in soft mourning and celebration
  • Principle: The more I am able to leave situations early enough to do it softly, the more likely it is that my departure will be experienced as an invitation into increasing capacity rather than as separation.
  • Entrustment as tenderness towards my capacity limitation in honoring the finitude of the life energy within me, and leaning into interdependence to find pathways to restore self-flow and to hold with reverence the body that is this life energy
  • Principle: The more agreements are anchored interdependently and not independently, the less I need to exercise will and the more capacity there will be to care for my diminishing capacity  
  • Principle: The earlier I seek co-holding of capacity limitations, the more robust and sustainable will be the solutions and the less cost to me
  • Principle: Whenever I find a way to anchor something interdependently, I free myself from either/or limitations and re-find my creative flow

General Question: How do I orient to vision when I see low capacity around me?

>> Community: expanding the pool of life from within which capacity can arise. E.g. if there are impacts, reaching out to see if there is someone willing to receive it. Find the community oriented step for each of the values below. Core practice is to come up with a request that can be asked to the larger group rather than taking a breath, absorbing and carrying on with whatever next feels like it would be useful to do.

Community as a value… rigorously turning to support structures when my capacity is low…

List of things to turn to community for:

  • When I am judged and don’t remember the principle that when I’m not able to bring curiosity to another person’s judgment of me, especially by tying it to their possible vision limitations, it depersonalizes it and reduces separation.
  • When facing certain situations, asking for community support to find where there may be a piece of vision, where there can be more trust in people and life, or where there may be possibility to uncover despite all apparent evidence to the contrary.

  • Orientation to needs as putting my needs and preferences on the table with full abandon, exposing impacts on me, and making capacity limits known even when i assess capacity around me to be low

Practices:

  • As often as I remember, pause to notice what I truly want, even/especially if it feels entirely impossible, find a doable request from there, and make it of those who are with me (or of myself).
  • Develop: Walking towards humiliation
  • Faith as the willingness to accept and mourn the gap between vision and reality and to remain open to mystery
  • Unconditional receptivity as opening to, noticing, recognizing, and letting in love, beauty, affirmation, appreciation, care, generosity, child-like delight, and unconditional trust; creating a web of love for when the shock of separation hits

Older values:

  • Faith as an act of defiance, leaning into vision, trusting people and life, uncovering possibility despite all apparent evidence to the contrary
  • Principle: offering people concrete steps supports our natural inclination to move towards liberation
  • Various options: naming purpose in the moment, tracing purpose back to larger and larger purpose, asking people to name what they are orienting to and ask to reorient to purpose and name what purpose they are noticing, and then ask to pick a thread from there and continue

Purpose

To deepen my rigor about what is mine to do given current capacities within and around me as I follow my intuition with the least absorption of impacts possible

With village-based leader, India, 2017

Capacity Assessment

(Strengths & Limitations, Openings & Obstacles)

Strengths

  1. Working within flow
  1. I have ease with vision, analysis, and practice that are integrated and match in depth and strength.
  2. I can take things apart and put things together in thinking (analytic and synthetic thinking).
  3. I have the capacity to create learning spaces that result in very little shame.
  4. I have cultivated complete and total willingness to follow my intuition.
  5. I easily create a pull into strategic discomfort without force.
  6. I can design environments that support empowerment through togetherness.
  7. I track people over time and invite their participation in a way that contributes to their liberation, including finding ways for them to find their own purpose-based power.
  1. Providing leadership as needed
  1. Curiosity supporting integration of everyone’s voices
  2. Holding the dignity of people even as saying no or choosing something different
  3. Holding the presence and dignity of self even while receiving other
  4. Entering conversations about feedback as an informational investigation
  5. high capacity to see the principles and potential learning in just about every situation
  6. deeply integrated capacity to maintain purpose focus even in adverse circumstances
  7. enormous capacity to see and name the essence of what is important for anyone involved
  8. deeply integrated reverence for choice in relation to others
  9. easy to use faith as a resource for working with groups
  10. easy to access vision, needs choreography, and compassion
  11.  
  1. Stewarding my choices about what is not mine to do
  1. Engaging strategically with obstacles
  1. I can lean into vision, trust people and life, and uncover possibility despite all apparent evidence to the contrary.
  1. Clearing the channel
  1. I have full willingness to surrender to not seeing as many fruits from my work as I want to see and still honor the depth of the vision and the integrity of my values.
  1. General
  1. I can function almost anywhere (except in extreme heat).
  2. I can easily walk away from normative ways of doing things, especially around exchange.
  3. I have immense courage.
  4. I am not willing to protect myself from collective low capacity by reducing my trust, generosity, or active togetherness. Instead, I protect myself by having a wall within me that limits how far patriarchy can affect me.
  5. I have deeply integrated the orientation of disrupting the conversational infrastructure that sustains the status quo.
  6. I have ease in reframing anything that is said about myself or anyone else that is a judgment, diagnosis, analysis, or either/or thinking into the needs-based understanding of all human behavior that is the foundation of the vision.

Limitations

  1. I don’t have sufficient capacity to discern and choose when to mobilize without overriding my own limits
  • Question: What to do when the capacity around me diminishes?
  1. In some way I am not able to rely on my own self-perception and lean into it completely until others say something that affirms it. This is from the cumulative effect of decades, especially early on in life, in which my actions were interpreted through lenses that are at odds with what is true about me, and then I got judged and separated from. This continues to this day, and the cumulative impact is deep enough that there is wobbliness that is foundational even though this doesn’t interfere with my capacity to keep going
  2. When someone interprets me in certain ways or I am afraid they might be, this raises survival responses in me because of the cumulative effect of bullying that originates from being super smart, a “unicorn” person acting with authenticity and no ulterior motives within a patriarchal field, and, in some instances, because of being Jewish.
  • Liberation edge: to relax while others have judgments of me and even if I don't know if they do.
  • Need reminders about the do nothing that came from Claire/Wolla:
  • To be able to hold the resilience AND the impact, at the moment there is some either/or-ness
  • Possibility of a designated person to hold some question in moments when this happens - - “Are you in survival mode about being misinterpreted?” provides something to stand on from within which I can be in more choice.
  • To be in “ask” and bringing curiosity to whether what is going on in the other person is limitation within their own vision
  • Principle (under vision-based narratives): When I’m able to bring curiosity to another person’s judgment of me, especially by tying it to their possible vision limitations, it depersonalizes it and reduces separation.
  1. I can easily get lost in a wide field of care and forget about my own and others capacity.
  2. I am very challenged to hold faith when it comes to my own needs.
  3. Moment by moment and overall I tend to overestimate my capacity and take on more than I can out of lack of faith.
  4. I don’t have enough holding of reverence for choice in relation to self because of commitments and care.
  5. I don’t sufficiently remember to imagine and articulate others needs instead of responding to them automatically and without conscious choice  
  6. I lose my integrative capacity and my overall power in the face of inaccurate judgements of me or other ways of not being received.
  • Relevant value: reverence for my limits. This is a twist: instead of finding a way to grow capacity for integration in these contexts, the action is to accept this limitation and exit gracefully.
  • Also, as the times get more difficult in the world and I am called into the next layer of nonviolence embodiment, this limitation is more acutely relevant.
  1. I find it difficult to make care for others visible when my purpose focus is stronger than that of others (which is often).
  2. I routinely overestimate people’s capacity to enter a space of mutual investigation around feedback.
  3. ~ Something that recognises I am beyond capacity in such a chronic way that it looks like I am in capacity. What are my agreements in the perpetual triage mode I am in and what are the agreements I want to have once I am not there?
  4. I have willingness to drop my flow when someone else is involved (reluctant to put this here as it is also a strength - this is a limitation that is based on the structures and not something that I have internalized)
  5. I still have one persistent judgment, though it’s softer: I judge others for not caring enough.
  6. I don’t have mechanisms which are within capacity to notice that I have something scheduled and then to write notes about where I am so I can come back to it later without losing thoughts.
  7. Although I have a deep commitment to integrating asking questions of people instead of responding based on quick inferences without checking, I don’t have the capacity to track and remember, and I have no pathways of support.
  8. My capacity for mourning doesn’t match my capacity for stretching and therefore I absorb undigested impacts.
  9. I lose capacity to do things and go into helplessness when I assess capacity around me as low and this persists.
  10. Because I developed a core survival strategy of exiting body dependency as much as possible, I tend to engage with things outside of body engagement, which sometimes means I lose vibrancy and flow.

Openings

  1. Meaningful relationships of trust, mutual vulnerability, and intimacy with people in all continents
  2. Access to people in many social locations and cultures
  3. There are thousands of people who trust me and listen to what I have to say
  4. Many people who are committed to mobilizing resources to make my work known
  5. There are people who support the work financially
  6. The existence of the pod to do experimenting within
  7. Dozens of people who have active and tangible energy that wants to support me
  8. Sufficient material resources to be able to do experimenting without worrying about basic sustainability
  9. NGL as a social infrastructure that makes experimentation easier
  10. RTTC as a cohesive and loving learning lab that supports the research
  11. The base of support I have is mostly relationship based (word of mouth)
  12. How much of my work is available without the barrier of money
  13. Direct and indirect access to source
  14. When the opportunity arises I am able to respond from playful, impish unconditional generosity as a soft and bold orientation to restoring flow, with growing capacity to care for capacity limits.

Obstacles

  1. Low collective capacity for togetherness and co-holding of everyone’s liberation leaves too much in my court:
  • Low trust
  • Low capacity for integration
  • Entrenched separation patterns
  1. Sexism makes it doubly hard for visionary women to be taken seriously enough to make enough of a difference.
  2. Total absence of existing material forms for living in full shared risk and collective care for the whole makes what I/we am/are doing way harder than it would be otherwise.
  3. People with resources tend to support those who are not questioning the foundation of where the resources come from.
  4. Conditions of vagabonding within a sedentary way of living deplete energy.
  5. The small number of people who are willing to untether
  6. There is very low collective capacity for stretching in response to acute or significant needs. This means that people like me will end up stretching beyond capacity, and it would be generally seen as a limitation. Outside of patriarchy we would all have capacity to stretch, possibly even more, and it would be within togetherness, so we would have much more collective capacity to stretch. Within patriarchy, I do the overstretching and others don’t, which means I end up taking on more than I am physically able to.
  7. Generosity within patriarchy has costs.

Theory of change

I am sourcing from vision,

getting energy from co-holding in all its forms and from engaging with
people and groups that are fully receptive to what I bring and who I am;

and nourishing myself from unfettered flow and from following what I want,

as pathways to sustain me to face all the challenges
that my purpose work and liberation orientation bring.

Mission

  1. Contributing what flows and is within my nonredundant capacities as my primary activity
  1. Maintaining the integrity and continuity of the NGL framework
  2. Participating in and providing leadership within the Mycelium Experiment
  3. Teaching and writing
  4. Pulling in the direction of vision and offering creative pathways and next steps in moving towards shared risk within the Mycelium and within NGL
  5. Identifying and seeding new initiatives
  6. Engaging in ceiling capacity activities within the pod
  7. Supporting the co-creation of the field of love to surround the patriarchal field
  1. The Lineage Experiment
  2. Stewarding and then passing on areas where there are still significant gaps, e.g. RF vision
  1. Supporting others’ liberation and leadership within shared purpose
  1. Providing leadership in areas where things aren’t necessarily mine to do and yet capacity is not yet sufficient elsewhere
  1. Sustaining NGL’s baseline functioning
  2. System building within NGL
  3. Attending to proclusion, baseline capacity, and the inviter process
  4. Attending to other critical voids within NGL
  5. Untwisting fields where needed and supporting others in doing it where possible
  1. Stewarding with care my choices about how much I engage in what is not mine to do
  1. Identifying with rigor and precision the line to walk to make visible to others what is not mine to do
  2. Mourning and co-holding with others any choice to keep engaging with what is not mine to do (including the previous mission element)
  3. Focusing energy in specific areas that can fold into the Lineage Experiment and build capacity around me
  4. Choose what I won’t attend to and leave as a void for collective capacity increase, releasing into mystery
  1. Engaging strategically with obstacles to increase capacity within and around me
  1. Find male allies to strategize about opening doors for the work
  1. Shaun, Alnoor, Martin, Tadeus, (Eddy, Fabian, Alper, Thuan, Kevin - support from within)
  1. Clearing the channel by de-instrumentalizing my own capacity
  1. Honing my own structures and making them both more precise and gentler
  2. Noticing and documenting areas where I can align more fully with reverence and what I can then pass on (e.g., currently: make the RF vision clearer through clearing up limitations in this area)
  3. Increasing capacity to find the line between over- and under-mobilizing
  4. Nurturing the life energy that is me as body, including reading and music
  1. Task: To make a list of all the things that are what I would want to have in place to care for body

Relaxing at a retreat in Germany, 2015

Systems

Decision Making

  1. Commitment: When I have a clear, relaxed intuition about something, I go with that.
  2. Request: When I don't have a clear and relaxed intuition, and/or there are potential impacts beyond what I can take on myself, I bring it to the pod, to VEM, to MST, to the Mycelium web, to others of my choosing, or to the NGL community for discernment support if the stakes are high enough.
  3. Request: When I have a no to something I want done, I look for others to do it for whom doing it would be on their purpose and increase capacity within a system we are all part of. This will usually mean looking within NGL.
  4. Integrated: I say “no” to any new project (= something that requires tracking over time, beyond a one-off event) unless there is absolute clarity who will hold it and how it more than fully aligns with purpose.
  5. Integrated: I fully follow my deep intuition, when I have access to it, even when it doesn't make sense or goes against other agreements.

Flow

a. Resources

  1. Support:
  1. Commitment: When certain forms of support are offered, I show up, even if it means pulling myself away from flow. This is in recognition of the mobilization pattern within me that doesn't have integrated into it sufficient support.
  2. Structure: I dedicate energy to maintaining support structures
  1. Co-holding with me within purpose:
  1. I am part of a Purpose Pod with Emma and Verene that meets every Friday and into which I share a purpose check in and any purpose support requests I have within certain parameters.
  2. Emma supports me with my VM and care for me as a biological being:
  1. As often as everyone’s schedule allows, I have an accompanied VM session open to observers within NGL. We follow the agenda below or whatever is in flow if no agenda items exist.
  1. VM time Agenda
  1. Values: review, integrate new ones, match up to vision
  2. Capacity assessment
  1. Review strengths and their fit to mission elements
  2. Review limitations in relation to vision and values
  3. Review openings and choose how to orient to them
  4. Review obstacles and choose which ones make sense to address, when, why, and how
  1. Tend to the VM for the Gap for learning and for capacity
  2. Work on integrating the lists at the end of the document
  3. Decide on a long-term review plan for tweaking etc.
  4. How to use the VM
  1. Every week except when practicalities make it impossible, we go over items I want Emma’s support with thinking about, both purpose related and body related
  1. Emma is my “walk broker” and arranges walks for me, so that every day I have someone to walk with. When someone can’t do their regular slot, she has a list of people and finds someone else.
  1. Mars supports me with attending to conflict fields within NGL
  1. When I have complex situations to attend to, especially if there is conflict involved, and those situations are not fully held within the LC, I seek Mars’ support.
  2. When anyone has impacts from me, Mars connects with them to see if there is feedback for me, or something else that will attend to the situation.
  1. Madi is holding the Materials Project, scheduling, and task tracking with me.
  2. MST (currently Madi, Nora, and Thuan) is holding everything practical, logistical, or operational that is related to what I hold within NGL that they have capacity to hold.
  3. Eddy is holding writing discernment with me (walk on Wed).
  1. Body:
  1. Structure: I walk daily with someone. It’s organized by Emma.
  2. Request: I do Egoscue exercises as close to daily as possible.
  3. Rule: I do at least one set of one exercise from the Primal Moves daily. It’s anchored in an email reminder at 8:30am that says that it’s a rule. And Eddy and Emma receive a copy of it so it’s held interdependently. I let them know
  4. Commitment: I rely on many supplements to reduce the chances of cancer recurrence and other issues and to support health in the present, including sleep.
  1. Every other week Emma and I prepare supplements for the next two weeks.
  2. Dawn ships them to me where I am about every 4 months.
  1. Request: I aim to drink 2 liters of water or other clear fluid daily.
  2. Recommendation: I make appointments with providers as needed to care for discomfort and general health (e.g. acupuncture, lymphatic drainage, etc.)
  3. Unanchored: I make my physical limitations known so that things can be bought or oriented to that care for me (e.g. van with AC, office chair to care for my back)
  1. Liberation:
  1. Structure: I participate in practices that we have within the pod (e.g. VM element of the week practice when we do that).
  1. Pod engagement:
  1. Offering: I attend to logistical/practical things only when asked, when they directly involve me and no one else can do them, or when it’s clear that my specific capacities are needed.
  2. Structure: I attend all meetings that are part of running our pod life, at a high threshold.
  1. Schedule - Structure:
  1. Sundays:
  1. Shopping
  2. Meetings
  3. Weaving Togetherness Lab (Jan-Feb; May-Jun; Sep-Oct)
  1. Mondays:
  1. Meetings
  2. Logistics Co-working
  3. Packets Q&A
  1. Tuesdays:
  1. Weaving Togetherness Lab (Mar-Apr; Jul-Aug; Nov-Dec)
  2. Meetings
  1. Wednesdays:
  1. Writing
  2. Projects and action items
  3. Following my flow
  1. Thursdays:
  1. Writing
  1. Fridays:
  1. Meetings
  2. RTTC
  1. Saturdays:
  1. Catching up on backlog
  2. Writing
  1. Workflow
  1. Aspirational: When there is space, I spend half an hour in the morning after processing new emails to do something that is flowing fully from my soul; it does not need to complete within this time frame
  2. Aspirational: If I have something scheduled that is an appointment with myself, and I am in the middle of doing something else, I activate my flow chart:

  1. Within capacity, not necessarily aligned: Otherwise, I apply the following logic:
  1. I get through new email.
  2. I attend to items I had previously marked in red as important.
  3. I organize my email tracking system.
  4. I go to my tracking system folders or my TDL to find a next action to take.
  5. I interrupt the above at any moment when there is a specific project/task that someone is waiting for and I am tracking.
  6. When there is enough quiet in the above, I orient to writing.
  1. At the end of the day I do a final review of all red-marked items to see what can't wait until the next window of opportunity, I attend to my end of day items (which I change periodically during my meeting with myself), send an email to my dailies, and then do physical exercise before going to bed.
  1. Money:
  1. Commitment: We are in full shared risk within the pod and in partial shared risk within NGL
  1. I support Emma who is holding primary responsibility for our finances.
  2. I put together our FGH request on March, July, and November.
  3. Structure: I receive NGL money as a storehouse and send reports to the FGH subteam in Mar, early April, July, early Aug, Nov, and early Dec. If there is any amount to send to others, I do that and work out the tax documents with them.

b. Information

  1. Agreement: I follow information pathways that come to me, and delete them when I am beyond capacity; I am completely willing to miss out on things rather than overwhelm my system with too much information.
  2. Offering: I pursue courses and trainings for myself only in extreme and rare situations when there is a clear and strong purpose and after connecting with others about my choice.
  3. Integrated: I make information and resources freely/easily available to others.
  4. Commitment: I share about my life daily with a number of people.
  5. Integrated: Whenever possible, I ask people to capture things for me and send to me.

c. Feedback

  1. Structure: I engage in daily impact sharing with people I live with, both permanently and temporarily.
  2. Integrated: I make more explicit what feedback I want and for what purpose.
  3. Structure: Mars supports me with feedback by being the person people go to with what they believe is feedback for me.
  4. Request: I make explicit choices to limit my engagement with input and feedback and move towards my goals even when others arent fully on board. I do this in part by providing specific dates by which to offer input and that I then plan to move with whatever input I am able to integrate.
  5. Recommendation: I build feedback into each of my significant relationships, both work and personal.
  6. Integrated: I ask for what people receive from each thing I teach.

Conflict Engagement

  1. Agreement: I bring someone with me to hold me in every conversation that is potentially challenging.
  2. Structure: When I need someone to mediate a conflict, I ask Gwen or Mars.

Instruction Manual

My current version of my IM is here.


Elements to integrate somewhere

  1. Things to consider within the VM
  1. For TOC? mourning and making visible to relevant wholes the systemic gaps around me brings energy by de-isolating me. This little bit already releases energy and channels it to purpose, to articulating and passing on things, and that makes room for and invites more mourning
  2. Everything that is beyond capacity, funneling it into something systemic that doesn’t rely on me, then the overstretching is not a problem; shifting the response pathway to one that operationalises is systemically
  1. For after we land
  1. Embedding leaning on gaia
  1. In a low trust situation where the relationship matters, say "it may be hard to to imagine that I don't hold blame in what I'm about to say...  if you experience it this way, let's talk."
  2. my cells don't trust me to discern well about whether there is capacity "out there" or i still need to be in full gear and step in to compensate for everyone else's low capacity. the repeated experience of that not working, over so many decades, and my tendency to get excited about people and then learn the hard way about where their capacity is not present, is not contributing to my cells' trust in my discernment, and they stay mobilized for needing to have lots of capacity. not sure what to do with it, just that it was such a clear response from my body when i checked in.
  1. Reverence threads:
  1. Whatever I look at in that state is both itself in the fullness of its beingness and simultaneously just a tiny conduit to the expansive magic of life.
  2. infinite care
  3. Inherent unknowability
  1. Where does this fit: “to move at a pace that allows life to flow within me”

Things to take elsewhere

  1. Going from here forwards in the direction of where I want to go, without knowing if we will ever get there, has the quality of shaping and co-creating with life and others, rather than controlling outcomes.
  1. I looked through trust in life and through humility, and didn’t find anything.
  1. The general principle of the more challenging the field, the shorter the feedback loops need to be.