We all value people and life and participate in a flow of generosity. Sharing our gifts
and the mundane tasks of life are both done with wholehearted willingness,
free of coercion. Attending to everyone’s needs is the organizing principle.


  • Faith as the willingness to accept and mourn the gap between vision and reality and to remain open to mystery
  • Vision-based narratives as the reframing of anything that is said about myself or anyone else that is a judgment, diagnosis, analysis, or either/or thinking into the needs-based understanding of all human behavior that is the foundation of the vision
  • Humility as the willingness to release any notion of knowing something and to surrender to the inherent unknowability of anyone’s needs and preferences, impacts on them, and their capacity limits  
  • Orientation to needs as putting my needs on the table with full abandon, exposing impacts on me, and making capacity limits known
  • Unconditional receptivity as opening to, noticing, recognizing, and letting in love, beauty, affirmation, appreciation, care, generosity, child-like delight, and unconditional trust; creating a web of love for when the shock of separation hits


To research and pass on possible pathways towards a future of fully restored individual and collective capacity to live in choice, togetherness, and flow within the means of the planet

With village-based leader, India, 2017

Capacity Assessment

(Strengths & Limitations, Openings & Obstacles)


  1. Capacity for vision, for analysis, and for practice that are integrated and match in depth and strength
  2. I can function almost anywhere (except in extreme heat)
  3. I have the capacity to form relationships across differences
  4. Capacity to both take things apart and put things together in thinking (analytic and synthetic thinking)
  5. A willingness to surrender to not seeing as many fruits from my work as I want to see and still honor the depth of the vision and the integrity of my values
  6. I have the capacity to create learning spaces that result in very little shame
  7. Complete and total willingness to follow my intuition
  8. My capacity to walk away from normative ways of doing things, especially around exchange
  9. Capacity to lean into vision, trust people and life, and uncover possibility despite all apparent evidence to the contrary
  10. Courage


  1. I continue to carry and hold even when I am beyond capacity so long as I assess my capacity as higher than around me.
  2. When someone interprets me in certain ways or I am afraid they might be, this raises survival responses in me because of the cumulative effect of bullying that originates from being super smart, a “unicorn” person acting with authenticity and no ulterior motives within a patriarchal field, and, in some instances, because of being Jewish.
  • Liberation edge: to relax while others have judgments of me and even if I don't know if they do.
  • Need reminders about the do  nothing from Clare
  • To be able to hold the resilience AND the impact, at the moment there is some either/or-ness
  • Possibility of a designated person to hold some question in moments when this happens - - “Are you in survival mode about being misinterpreted?” provides something to stand on from within which I can be in more choice.
  • To be in “ask” and bringing curiosity to whether what is going on in the other person is limitation within their own vision
  • Principle - integrate into the pod liberation edge dinner agreement: When i’m able to bring curiosity to another person’s judgment of me, especially by tying it to potential vision limitations, it depersonalizes it reduces separation


  1. Meaningful relationships of trust, mutual vulnerability, and intimacy with people in all continents
  2. Access to people in many social locations and cultures
  3. There are thousands of people who trust me and listen to what I have to say
  4. Many people who are committed to mobilizing resources to make my work known
  5. There are people who support the work financially
  6. Desert pod intuitive access and trust in life pulls me forward beyond my individual capacity
  7. The existence of the pod to do experimenting within
  8. Dozens of people who have active and tangible energy that wants to support me
  9. Sufficient material resources to be able to do experimenting without worrying about basic sustainability
  10. NGL as a social infrastructure that makes experimentation easier
  11. RTTC as a cohesive and loving learning lab that supports the research
  12. The base of support I have is mostly relationship based (word of mouth)
  13. How much of my work is available without the barrier of money
  14. Direct and indirect access to source


  1. Low collective capacity for togetherness and co-holding of everyone’s liberation leaves too much in my court:
  • Low trust
  • Low capacity for integration
  • Entrenched separation patterns
  1. Sexism makes it doubly hard for visionary women to be taken seriously enough to make enough of a difference.
  2. Total absence of existing material forms for living in full shared risk and collective care for the whole.
  3. Very little companionship in the arena of engaging in experiments with truth (people are inspired and moved and don’t do something with it)
  4. People with resources tend to support those who are not questioning the foundation of where the resources come from.
  5. Conditions of vagabonding within a sedentary way of living mixed with incapacity to do in-person events deplete energy.
  6. …how many people will make themselves open to what I do…??

What’s below in this section is entirely out of date

This is a beginning list of my strengths and limitations in relation to my values and purpose. I have one each for each of the values and for purpose. Over time, I plan to expand this list and to find principles and practices that can then feed either my instruction manual (also in formation, below), or my agreements with myself (above).

  • Global circle of care at the heart of all I do, encompassing the largest whole I can envision
  • S: easy to access vision, needs choreography, and compassion
  • L: easy to get lost in a wide field of care and forget about my own and others' capacity
  • Faith as an act of defiance, leaning into vision, trusting people and life, uncovering possibility despite all apparent evidence to the contrary
  • S: easy to use this as a resource for working with groups
  • L: big challenge to hold when it comes to my own needs
  • L: Moment by moment and overall overestimating my capacity and taking on more than I can out of lack of faith
  • Reverence for choice in self and other, emerging from honoring capacity, sensing willingness, caring for sensitivities, and beholding the dignity of all that lives
  • S: deeply integrated in relation to others
  • L: not enough holding of it in relation to self because of commitments and care
  • Orientation to needs as the deepest expression of life and the source of our interconnection
  • S: enormous capacity to see and name the essence of what is important for anyone involved
  • L: not integrated, requires conscious choice to remember to imagine others' needs instead of responding to them automatically
  • Purpose-driven action as an expression of my being in orienting towards vision with full abandon, practical responsibility for what I do, and humility
  • S: deeply integrated capacity to maintain purpose focus even in adverse circumstances
  • L: difficulty in making care for others visible when my purpose focus is stronger than that of others (which is often)
  • Unconditional generosity as a soft and bold orientation to restoring flow
  • S: almost always there is a "yes" in me
  • L: in relation to money in particular, hard to receive more than I give
  • Purpose: To identify, experiment with, articulate, and pass on possible pathways to shift our collective course towards restoring in full our individual and collective capacity to live in choice, togetherness, and flow within the means of the planet
  • S: high capacity to see the principles and potential learning in just about every situation
  • L: difficulty in discerning, because of the above

  • Limitations - General
  • Moment by moment and overall overestimating my capacity and taking on more than I can out of lack of faith
  • Overestimating people’s capacity to enter a space of mutual investigation around feedback
  • Strengths
  • Capacity for vision, for analysis, and for practice that are integrated and match in depth
  • Creating pull into strategic discomfort without force
  • Ability to design environments that support empowerment through togetherness
  • Tracking people over time and inviting their participation in a way that contributes to their liberation (global circle of care)
  • Capacity to invite people into purpose-based power (their own)
  • Accurate naming of things supporting relaxation and connection with vision (purpose oriented action)
  • Curiosity supporting integration of everyone’s voices
  • Holding the dignity of people even as saying no or choosing something different
  • Holding the presence and dignity of self even while receiving other
  • Entering conversations about feedback as an informational investigation

Theory of change

I am sourcing from vision, getting energy from co-holding in all its forms
and from playful, impish unconditional generosity, and nourishing myself from unfettered flow,
as pathways to sustain me to face all the challenges that my purpose work and liberation orientation bring.

ADD: engaging with people and groups that are fully receptive to what I bring and who I am


Before working on or looking at this section I ask myself Sue’s question

“is it in choice to go at full capacity until death?”

To research and pass on possible pathways towards a future of fully restored individual and collective

capacity to live in choice, togetherness, and flow within the means of the planet

Integrate here: Gap VM

  1. Reading (identifying) >> sourcing from vision
  1. 2022: get sufficient support to bring reading back to being an ongoing, joyful part of my life
  1. Areas: economics, body impacts from patriarchy
  1. Experimenting (Faith, Vision-based narratives, Humility - key, Orientation to needs, Unconditional receptivity) >> co-holding in all its forms  - - Explicitly demobilise by integrating values here
  1. Pod and land project
  1. Sustain me as a living organism (Orientation to needs)
  1. NGL involvement
  2. VM for humanity
  3. VM for power and privilege
  1. Teaching (passing on) >> playful, impish unconditional generosity
  1. Finding and cultivating the people who can carry on the work when I am no longer here
  2. 2022: Committed coaching calls within NGL
  1. Writing (articulating) >> unfettered flow,
  1. 2022: complete packets
  2. 2022: have the Materials project operational
  1. Tend to the VM for the Gap for learning and for capacity

Land search project - how am I woven into it and it into me?:

As the shared risk and intertwinement deepen, the alignment between individual VM's and the collective VM need to be tighter because anything that is in the collective VM that is not held within some individual VM will be a Void and anything that is in individual VM's that does not hang from the collective VM will be friction and/or energy drain

2022 goals:

To create the conditions for sufficient co-holding to emerge

— — —

Mobilizing accurately enough to create demobilization in the future

Previous one:

  1. Focus for reading: where we are as a species, why we got here, and what is possible individually and collectively in moving towards liberation
  • Subfocus: economics, gifting, indigenous wisdom
  • Later: people to have conversations with
  1. Writing support
  • to establish a plan of action with clear steps, with who owns what part of holding it, that includes deciding about books, articles, blog posts, curriculum, and more
  1. Rethink: To maintain pleasure (within purpose) as central to how I prioritize what I do and how I work
  • Next main goal: to fully integrate the agreement to use pleasure and ease as part of my selection criteria for what I focus on in my work

Relaxing at a retreat in Germany, 2015


  1. Complete the agreements, including in particular agreements about:
  1. how to evaluate and review agreements;
  1. Include questions about external accountability for when I have willingness and lack capacity to choose and/or to track agreements;
  1. how to evaluate my progress towards purpose;
  2. how to engage with my activities document;
  3. how to think about, add or take out, and refine mission elements.
  1. Build capacity in people who can deliver the work when I am not available
  2. Integrate more prominently transparency about how I follow purpose to support a shift from others following me/authority to others following purpose with me
  3. Continue to move towards teaching, reading, and writing being the primary ways I work, reducing meetings, collaboration on projects, and responsibility beyond my own work to a smaller minimum

Action Agreements

This is ongoing work in progress, currently still at an intensive initial set-up phase which I started in January 2020. Until the agreements are in flow, I anticipate revising them as often as I find it possible to prioritize this work. Once established, my intention is to review and potentially revise agreements either quarterly, or when a gap becomes obvious.

The agreements are organized based on the systems they are part of. See "Aligning Systems with Purpose and Values" on the NGL resources page.

Anything in burgundy is in need of revision or substitution. Anything in blue is a new agreement; a current experiment at closing a gap.


Decision Making

  1. When I have a clear, relaxed intuition about something, I go with that.
  2. When I don't have a clear and relaxed intuition, and/or there are potential impacts beyond what I can take on myself, I bring it to my conversations with Mars.
  3. When I have a "no" to something I want done, I look for others to do it for whom doing it would be on their purpose and increase capacity within a system we are all part of. This will usually mean looking within NGL.
  4. I seek people’s input into decisions using advice process when it impacts others or when I intuitively think more wisdom will help.
  5. I say “no” to any new project (= something that requires tracking over time, beyond a one-off event) unless there is absolute clarity who will hold it and how it more than fully aligns with purpose.
  6. I fully follow my deep intuition, when I have access to it, even when it doesn't make sense or goes against other agreements.
  7. After making a decision that is outside the usual flow of decisions, I evaluate it relative to my values, and name any stacking functions, synergies, and convergence that arise, as a way to fine tune my intuition over time.


a. Resources

  1. Support:
  1. When certain forms of support are offered, I show up, even if it means pulling myself away from flow. This is in recognition of the mobilization pattern within me that doesn't have integrated into it sufficient support
  2. I dedicate energy to maintaining support structures
  1. Co-holding with me within purpose:
  1. I am part of a Purpose Pod with Emma and Verene that meets every Friday and into which I share a purpose check in and any purpose support requests I have within certain parameters.
  2. I have a “Miki co-holding team” that meets monthly on the first Monday that includes:
  1. Emma, as point person of the team and as the co-holder of my VM and my overall life and purpose decisions
  1. As often as everyone’s schedule allows, I have an accompanied VM session on Wed open to observers within NGL.
  2. Every week except when practicalities make it impossible, we go over items I want Emma’s support with thinking about, including reviewing the co-holding tracking document
  1. Menaka is the point person for the Miki Support Team (MST).
  2. Mars is co-holding leadership challenges within NGL, and some strategic decision-making and complex tasks: We meet about weekly and I also give her complex things to think about and do on her own.
  3. Madi is holding the Materials Project.
  1. Overall co-holding
  1. I maintain a “Co-Holding tracking” spreadsheet that has all that I do and hold within it. I track bits of it with the people I am co-holding items with, and the totality of it with Emma on Weds.
  1. GOAL: everything within the sheet is in flow.
  1. Body:
  1. When I have the capacity to get food that works for me, I do. When not, I lean on others within my shared risk pod to support me in setting limits on what I eat. (e.g., I only eat rice cakes when I am low capacity and it provides ease.)
  2. I walk daily with Emma or someone else if we are not available to walk.
  3. I do Egoscue exercises as close to daily as possible.
  4. I consume many supplements to reduce the chances of cancer recurrence and other issues and to support health in the present, including sleep.
  5. Every other week Emma and I prepare supplements for the next two weeks.
  6. I aim to drink 2 liters of water or other clean fluid daily.
  7. I make appointments with providers as needed to care for discomfort and general health (e.g. acupuncture, lymphatic drainage, etc.)
  8. I make my physical limitations known so that things can be bought or oriented to that care for me (e.g. van with AC, office chair to care for my back)
  1. Liberation:
  1. Every time I read this line I pause to consider whether I have sufficient support to carry my liberation forward, e.g. put in place practices, identify patterns, etc.
  1. Pod engagement:
  1. I attend to logistical/practical things only when asked, when they directly involve me and no one else can do them, or when it’s clear that my specific capacities are needed.
  2. Within the Pod I make myself available to facilitate meetings, track certain things, do certain project management tasks, to support liberation and conflict transformation, and general integration
  3. I attend all meetings that are part of running our pod life.
  1. Schedule:
  1. Sundays:
  1. Morning: Pod weekly meeting
  2. Afternoon I: Agreements team meeting
  3. Afternoon II: various teaching
  4. Evening: mostly available except for 2nd Sunday commitments call
  1. Mondays:
  1. Noon: Arnina
  2. Afternoon: Kit and then PAP
  3. Evening: available for meetings
  1. Tuesdays:
  1. Morning: sometimes Committed Coaching Calls; sometimes Resource Flow
  2. Afternoon I: sometimes Resource Flow
  3. Afternoon II: Reweaving Humanity weekly meeting
  4. Afternoon III: Arnina+Aya alternating with Resource Flow
  5. Evening: Lisa every other week and then available
  1. Wednesdays: I don’t schedule anything that’s not already below; dedicated to writing, big projects, following my flow
  1. Morning: writing discernment with Eddy
  2. Morning: Sometimes practitioner as needed
  3. Afternoon I: VM support with Emma
  4. Afternoon II: sometimes Gift Economy group
  5. Evening: sometimes Committed Coaching Calls; otherwise available for meetings
  1. Thursdays: writing time
  1. Morning: Writing check in
  2. Afternoon: writing check out
  3. Evening I: Victor
  4. Evening II: shared risk call
  1. Fridays:
  1. Morning: Purpose Pod meeting
  2. Afternoon I: Paul
  3. Afternoon II: Alternating P&P VM, Coaching for Tamera, and Resource Flow community gathering
  4. Evening: RTTC
  1. Saturdays: mostly catching up on backlog, logistics, and writing as possible
  1. Evening: watching something with the pod

None of the below is happening - come back to what is below to create cushioning around the reality of being so over capacity and the mystery that creates

  1. I have a day a month on the full moon in which I schedule absolutely nothing and completely follow my flow to support rejuvenation, especially through savoring beauty in all forms.
  2. Something that recognises I am beyond capacity in such a chronic way that it looks like I am in capacity. What are my agreements in the perpetual triage mode i am in and not are the agreements I want to have once I am not there?
  1. Workflow
  1. The following agreements are for after 2022 only, since I am in a highly mobilized state. I do not have agreements to hold me for 2022. This is why I am flailing.
  2. When there is space, I spend half an hour in the morning after processing new emails to do something that is flowing fully from my soul; it does not need to complete within this time frame
  3. If I have something scheduled that is an appointment with myself, and I am in the middle of doing something else, I activate my flow chart:

  1. Otherwise, I apply the following logic:
  1. I get through new email.
  2. I attend to items I had previously marked in red as important.
  3. I respond to and/or file email backlog until it's done or until I run out of the window or have something that someone is waiting for me to complete. [I want to have a clearer set of criteria that makes sense and that I can follow]
  1. While doing that, I focus as much as possible on learning what I can to align my agreements more with capacity and with values
  1. When done with new email and whatever fits within criteria yet to be developed, I go to a TDL that is outside email system, and engage in a combination of doing things I can and organizing it.
  2. I go to my tracking system folders to find a next action to take.
  3. I interrupt the above at any moment when there is a specific project/task that someone is waiting for and I am tracking.
  4. When there is enough quiet in the above, I write anything that isn’t on a semi-deadline, especially on Wed, Thu, and TRW days.
  5. At the end of the day I do a final review of all red-marked items to see what can't wait to the next window of opportunity, send an email to my dailies, and then do physical exercise before going to bed.
  1. If none of the above yields sufficient clarity, I look at my theory of change
  1. Money:
  1. I give money to individuals I care about based on following my intuition and natural generosity.
  2. I prioritize quality, relationship, locality, etc. over finding the cheapest thing possible.
  3. I don’t track money coming and going, instead trusting there will be enough for what I need.
  4. I lean towards a balance of giving more than receiving on purpose, partially aligned with values, partially because of an inner challenge about receiving more than giving, with the result that I overstretch.
  1. When engaged in financial gift hub distribution circles or similar activities, I move resources towards my shared risk pod or BayNVC when there is a clear purpose reason for doing it.

b. Information

  1. I follow information pathways that come to me, and delete them when I am beyond capacity; I am completely willing to miss out on things rather than overwhelm my system with too much information.
  2. On TRW days, I schedule at least an hour of reading time. On the 1st TRW day of the month I have a time for nourishing myself in beauty, which means tending to emails that are not urgent and within which I want to benefit from the relationship and/or the content.
  3. I pursue courses and trainings for myself only in extreme and rare situations when there is a clear and strong purpose and after connecting with others about my choice.
  4. I make information and resources freely/easily available to others.
  5. I share my life daily with a number of people.
  6. I have the humility corner in my newsletter where I share truths about my own unfolding journey of liberation, including things I am discovering that are patterns or other ways I step out of flow, togetherness, and choice.
  7. I review and adjust ongoing commitments so I can reduce the level of commitment to others, giving love a different manifestation than frequency of contact.
  8. Whenever possible, I ask people to capture things for me and send to me.

c. Feedback

  1. I engage in daily impact sharing with people I live with, both permanently and temporarily.
  2. I make more explicit what feedback I want and for what purpose.
  3. I make explicit choices to limit my engagement with input and feedback and move towards my goals even when others aren't fully on board. I do this in part by providing specific dates by which to offer input and that I then plan to move with whatever input I am able to integrate.
  4. I build feedback into each of my significant relationships, both work and personal.
  5. I ask for what people receive from each thing I teach.

Conflict Engagement

  1. I bring someone with me to hold me to every conversation that is potentially challenging.
  2. I have several close friends for consultations about conflict and feedback about how I attend to it. I set limits to feedback even within those explicit relationships.
  3. I have Claire and Pam when an inner conflict seems to point to deeper emotional or spiritual needs.
  4. When I need someone to mediate a conflict, I ask Gwen or Mars.

Identified Gaps

  1. How do I track to focus on essence much more than on form; to be light on form, so things don't get encrusted and dogmatized from what I share with people? How do I know when I do or don't do that?
  2. Where to find more capacity in the area of scheduling support so that I can activate an agreement to let all scheduling be done by others except for recurring meetings, family, and friends?
  3. How do I attract and receive support from pools of supporters and collaborators in service to the purpose so that I have sufficient support for each mission element?
  4. How to move in the direction of developing a relationship with body based on conversation with Selene in Portugal, from which these notes are taken:
  • I want to physically enjoy the experience of being alive
  • I want to wake up feeling refreshed
  • Develop touch taste smell?
  1. *interesting to see that I instrumentalize 3 of 5 senses
  • Would like to understand what is happening with you physiologically
  • * system for supplements that attuned to new local life
  • * someone else do labor around food?

To integrate:

  1. When in flow and then there is a meeting, schedule 7 min before to wrap up, write notes about where I am, and be able to continue later.
  2. Somehow want to integrate asking questions of people instead of responding based on quick inferences without checking. And for others to support me in this.

Instruction Manual

My current version of my IM is here.

April 21 Agenda

  1. Where does doing the VM work fit within my mission, anyone’s mission? Where do the mission elements of the other week fit? Do I have two different VM tents?
  2. From April 14:
  1. Goal: to increase the proportion of time that I am in flow and don’t have to activate the DM or CE system
  2. Practices for supporting trust in life
  3. How to minimize decisions I make to do things that I actually am not willing to do and I do only because I am even less willing to have the thing not happen.
  4. Q from Melissa: “Would it be helpful to unpack what is ‘coming from your soul’, to find criteria?”
  5. How to distinguish between active desire and wholehearted willingness?

Going from here forwards in the direction of where I want to go, without knowing if we will ever get there, has the quality of shaping and co-creating rather than controlling.



mourning and making visible to relevant wholes the systemic gaps around me


Notes for continued work:

This little bit already releases energy and channels it to purpose, to articulating and passing on things, and that makes room for and invites more mourning

Focusing on places where there is trust

The general principle of the more challenging the field, the more short the feedback loops need to be.

, rechanneling overstretching as gift of new information

Acting as if the vision is already manifested

The mourning and making visible brings energy by de-isolating me

 engaging with others to download what I know so they can embed it within systems in the relevant wholes

Rechanneling overstretching as gift of new information

 leaning on intuition,

trusting in life

and faith that flow is already there in the cells, visible in moments of no resistance, ….being in some dance that integrates flowing out and flowing in  

Play ~ passing on

Embedding leaning on gaia

Everything that is beyond capacity , funnelling it into something systemic that doesn’t rely on me, then the overstretching is not a problem; shifting the response pathway to one that operationalises is systemically

>> Any time I see the overstretching, to bring it to the relevant whole in which some systemic change could happen. Seeing my limitations as opportunities

One area of judgment is relevant: that I still judge others for not caring enough.

Previous one, being revised:
wherever I am, whoever I am with, with whatever knowledge and resources are available to me and us, and asking: what’s the most aligned action I can take within purpose, within values, and within

More notes:

Passing things onto others


Connecting dots

Other people who are as purpose focused as I am.

What i’m giving being received

Flow in collaboration

Having someone to follow

Reading / influx of new thoughts

Flow of mourning/crying

-- have enough of these in my days to nurture sufficient energy


  1. To honour capacity
  2. No resistance

Things to Integrate:

  1. Integrate into my structure: disrupting the conversational infrastructure that sustains the status quo
  2. For instruction manual:
  1. I trigger whatever powerlessness exists in people because of my own high sense of agency
  2. Mistrust destabilizing the field
  3. Togetherness demand
  4. Difficulties in disagreement
  5. Enough agreements to support others to stay in the field of interdependence
  6. Regular connection with those who, like me, spontaneously never leave the field except when others do, to support each other in finding interdependent responses to others leaving the field.
  7. Taking conscious turns doing needs choreography instead of defaulting to me


Principles and Practices

Things to integrate:

  1. Any email upsetting for me, to not respond before I’ve had an actual conversation with someone in support circle to uncover what hidden assumptions I have about what is happening
  2. (notes for something else, not IM): Togetherness injuries, conflates observation and interpretation into a threat response.

Qs related to capacity from Sue:

About the weight of the backlog…


impact on daily work?

impact on longevity?

is this a choice to go at max capacity until death?

or no choice in it? identity?

 i accept your process but clearly  i do not have full understanding.

 probably could support you better if i had it.

Notes from principles box

  1. Theory of Change - Co-holding
  1. In the current configuration I find myself, is there any even tiny bit of more co-holding I can ask for?
  2. Any time thoughts come that say “I can’t keep going with this much challenge” I ask myself, “Is there even a little bit of more co-holding that can happen at this moment?”
  3. Any time people around me hear me say “I can’t do this, it’s too much, I'm alone” they can ask me “is there any, even a little bit of more co-holding you could ask for?”

To be created in a different document where values are worked into current capacity


It’s only a limitation within patriarchy… it’s where I stretch beyond my capacity

Outside of patriarchy we would all have capacity to stretch to the extent that i do, possibly even more, and it would be within togetherness, so we would have much more collective overstretch capacity… within patriarchy, i do the overstretching and others don’t, i end up taking on more than i am physically able to.

Generosity, togetherness, and trust.

Generosity within patriarchy will have costs.


I am not willing to protect myself from collective low capacity by reducing my trust, generosity, or active togetherness.

The alternative is to mourn sufficiently so that the cost is not toxic.

Action Agreements

  1. Support:
  1. Purpose:
  1. Vision: there are upgrades that are needed here that would come from integrating this with the visions that have informed the various community experiments as well as the vision that the VM courses have articulated.
  2. Mission: there is a deep question overall, not just with my own VM, about the role of “reproductive labor” within the purpose side of things, and, specifically, how it relates to values and purpose.
  1. More specifically, where does the image of how I want to set my life up fit in the VM? I have one particular bit which is a goal to never be alone, which I want to enter into the structure. And there is still the larger question.  
  1. Capacity assessment: right now, the strengths and limitations are organized in relation to the old values. This needs to be upgraded, and I want practices that fully fit within the structure and within capacity.