Tales From Grevelon
S1E1: If You Go in a Group
Official Transcript
Thomas:
Hey, folks, are we ready to record episode one?
Talya:
No.
Samkit:
Let’s do it.
Katie:
I'm ready. I just want to say that you're gonna start off—I know you're gonna start off with a very, like, pretty like serious like GM talking. And it's gonna immediately make me want to say something unserious, and I'm gonna try to control myself. But I just wanted to apologize in advance for my behavior.
Samkit:
Me too
Thomas:
I appreciate that apology. It's also a comedy podcast. So…
Katie:
That's true. Ok. Never mind. I take back my apology.
[cheerful, upbeat music]
Thomas:
Hello folks and friends, and welcome to Tales from Grevelon. I'm your Tale Keeper, Thomas Pflanz. I'm joined by Talya Shatzky.
Talya:
Ashallynniamehra Ginggleppossumm, two G’s, two P’s, two S’s, two M’s, better known as Ash by everyone she meets, is an average sized purple fairy, the size of an average sized purple spoon, but fills any room she enters.
She wears a plum pinstriped suit with silver lining, and yes, she takes that to heart. She's the eldest of 15 children, and after years of helping to raise her siblings, she decided to pursue her real talent: helping others pursue their real talents. Now she travels the land with her compatriots looking for the next big star.
Katie:
Yay! Should we—
Thomas:
Yay.
Katie:
Can we do like a—Yay!
[Katie, Samkit, and Thomas cheer and clap]
Thomas:
Katie Siegel.
Katie:
Lenral Errecen Avonent Ilmadia Lyndambar is a wood elf from the Towering Forest. He has a beige skin, pointed ears, brown eyes, and medium length brown hair.
He has a glowing tattoo on his left arm that says “Persevere” in Draconic, which has always said “Persevere” and has definitely never said anything else. Lenral is a handyperson and travels around Grevelon, helping fix stuff for people. Honestly, he's just a guy, just a dude.
[Thomas, Samkit, and Talya cheer and clap]
Katie:
Thank you.
Thomas:
And Samkit Siyal.
Samkit:
Paatarak is a bipedal gray elephant who's wearing a purple shirt with a green cloak and black pants. He travels with a brown satchel, which carry his Arcartography tools and maps.
He has recently joined the Apprentice Guild and works for his former Arcartography professor Soobee. He grew up in the Marshlands and worked as a hydra wrangler for some time before deciding to pursue other crafts.
[Talya, Katie, and Thomas cheer and clap]
Thomas:
Today we’ll be playing a little game that we're calling Adventures in Grevelon, which is powered by Cortex Prime. We'll explain the mechanics of the game as we need to, though you can check out How to Play: Adventures in Grevelon, an episode we're releasing alongside this one. That episode is totally optional and you'll be able to follow the story without it.
Katie:
Yeah. The title has a secret parentheses that says, “You do not have to listen to this.”
[Samkit laughs]
Thomas:
Exactly.
Katie:
And then another parentheses that says, “Unless you want to.”
Thomas:
There's gonna be a lot of parentheses, maybe too many. But I think that's okay. Right?
[xylophone chime]
Thomas:
Welcome…to Grevelon, a familiar land, perhaps to many listeners.
[calm music]
It is a cloudy morning as the sun rises over the horizon. The greens, blues, and purples of a typical eastern Grevelonian sunrise greet the eyes of everyone of the town of Ido'arak, a town along the southern reaches of the Nowyree Delta, a series of rivlets downstream of C'ordall.
The sunrise greets the eyes of Lenral Lyndambar, perhaps distressingly, given that he went to sleep in a tent.
[dissonant twang]
[music stops]
Thomas:
Lenral, as you wake up expecting to be greeted by the safety of the roof of a tent, you are instead greeted by an empty clearing.
Katie:
Yeah, I definitely woke up expecting this light to be a lot more diluted. This is concerning.
I think I like sit up for a moment. I try to remember if there was like, because sometimes I feel like I have…like I am struck by the mood of, you know, I want to sleep under the stars tonight. And I try to remember, because I don't remember doing that last night.
But yeah, then I look around and see absolutely nothing and realize…um…oh no. I'm in trouble. Also, all my stuff is - all my stuff is gone?!
Thomas:
All of your stuff is gone except for the backpack—
Katie:
My things??
Thomas:
—you were using as a pillow, which has, you know, a couple of changes of clothing. Some like necessary essentials. But your toolbox is also missing.
Katie:
Ughhh. My bread and butter.
[laughter]
Katie:
My bread and butter is also missing? I had breakfast planned.
[louder laughter]
Katie:
I meal prepped last night!
Thomas:
Your breakfast is also missing.
Katie :
[distressed] My bread and butter!
Thomas:
You-you look around, and this wasn't like a tent that you just, like, had over you. The tent was also under you. And it seems like they cut to the bottom of the tent while you were sleeping, so that they could carry it away.
Katie:
It's not really a great tent with a hole in the bottom, but I guess you take what you can get, and they took everything.
Thomas:
Including, you now realize, your main means of defense the past few months, which has been a wrench that can turn into a sword.
Katie:
[more distressed] Ohhh, not my wrench sword. Honestly, with that one, I'm kind of like, maybe this is the universe telling me that I don't need a sword because I truly, as cool as it was to get a wrench sword, never used the sword.
Thomas:
Yeah.
Katie:
Except like, like sometimes when no one was watching, I would, like, swing it around and practice. Didn't really need that; do need the wrench as well as all my other tools. So this is upsetting.
Thomas:
Yeah, it's-it's a bad spot.
Katie:
It's a bad spot. I guess I take inventory of what I have left. Who were these—who are these people I was traveling with? Did I know them?
Thomas:
You met them in town. There were a couple of craftspeople—
Katie:
They were like friends of friends.
Thomas:
Yeah, friends of friends of friends.
Katie:
Ugh…
Thomas:
Like people who are, like, gonna be traveling. And you were like, well, a group’s probably gonna be better than just traveling solo…
Katie:
That's too many degrees of separation. I should have known better. When you get to friends of friends of friends, you can't trust those people.
[the cast laughs]
Thomas:
So true.
And yeah, you take inventory. There are the, like, more precious items you brought along with you from your family or whatnot in your backpack, so you're good there.
As well as a hammer that you've always kind of kept at the bottom of your bag. Not really used it a lot. You remember this being maybe a bit of a gag gift. Though you can't quite remember where you got it, but you got it as a gift from somewhere. It's a hammer that, like, extends really, really long, basically into a staff with the idea of, like, being able to swing it really far if you, if you're like down on the ground.
Katie:
Yeah, but then I-it does look a little silly because when it extends into a staff, it still has a very tiny hammerhead at the top.
Thomas:
Exactly.
Katie:
At the time I had my wrench sword, so I was like, I don't need this. But now the hammer staff is looking pretty good. So I definitely, I'll pull that out, extend that and yeah, I think that I'm just gonna you know, all you can do is keep moving forward. You know, I'll pack up my stuff and go try to get more stuff.
Thomas:
Yeah, you pack up your stuff. As you, like, extend out this staff, you see a little bird comes and lands on the—
[flapping wings]
Thomas:
—like, the hammerhead of the staff.
Lenral [Katie]:
Oh, hey. Hey, there.
Katie:
This didn't happen with the wrench sword. Actually, it did happen once with the wrench sword it and it was not pretty. So this is actually definitely a benefit of the, of the hammer staff that it's a nice place for birds. I'm glad this bird feels safe.
Thomas:
The bird looks at you, kind of cocks its head.
Jez [Thomas]:
Wow, that kind of sucked for you, didn't it?
Lenral [Katie]:
[shocked] AH!
Katie:
How, [laughing] how used to talking birds is Lenral?
Thomas:
Lenral is like tangentially used to it, you know. In the Towering Forest there’s all sorts of folks and creatures that can, can speak in languages, when others of their kind can't. So, you know, it's not super unfamiliar, but definitely, definitely not expected. Maybe this far south, actually.
Katie:
Sure. I think that he does for a moment wonder if he is in a nightmare, not because of the bird, but just because of, you know, waking up without a tent, and maybe this is just another aspect of it. Tries to subtly pinch his arm because he doesn't want the bird to know that he doesn't think it's real. Feels that. Ow! Turns back to the bird.
Lenral [Katie]:
Good morning. Yeah. This is not ideal. Did you see them take my stuff? You just let ‘em…were you a bystander to this terrible, terrible deed?
Jez [Thomas]:
Kind of. I mean, not much I could do. Sorry. I'm just a little guy.
Lenral [Katie]:
You know, the bravest…ah, I'm not gonna get into it. Do you know how I can get some—
[Katie laughs causing the rest of the cast to laugh as well]
Lenral [Katie]:
Do you know where someone could acquire some tools around here?
Jez [Thomas]:
Yeah. There's a town kind of upriver. You probably go there for some tools.
Lenral [Katie]:
Cool. I'm gonna head there then. Did you need a ride or…?
Jez [Thomas]:
Actually, that'd be pretty sick.
Lenral [Katie]:
Cool. You could just stay up there then and…let's go.
Thomas:
And you head along the edge of the river making your way upstream. We cut to a little bit earlier where—
Katie:
The bird was being—can we see the scene where the bird was just sitting there watching all my stuff get stolen and did nothing?
Thomas:
Yeah, [laughs] yeah. I mean, it's a pretty long scene. They like, spent like a solid, like, maybe 45 minutes, like cutting the tent, but without waking you up.
The bird’s just, like, kind of sitting there, like goes to, like, maybe chirp a little bit, but then sees as the tent is pulled up, sees Lenral, is like sleeping very peacefully. And is like:
Jez [Thomas]:
No, there's nothing he can do about this. I'll let him sleep.
Katie:
At least I got a full 9 hours. I guess I got to look on the bright side.
Thomas:
So true.
Katie:
The bird granted me that.
Thomas:
But we'll, we'll cut to a little bit earlier.
[quirky, energetic music]
Thomas:
That same sunrise greets the eyes of Paatarak, who had to wake up very early for his meeting with his boss, Soobee. What kind of folk is Soobee?
[music stops]
Samkit:
Soobee is a sort of large cat folk. She is about six feet, like two inches tall, very, very, like, tall and lanky.
Thomas:
You see her waiting, arms crossed in the room that she's, like, saved for you two to meet in. As you like, finally rush in.
Soobee [Thomas]:
I see that you are 20 seconds late, Paatarak.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
I'm sorry, ma'am. There was a, there was a turtle crossing on the road, and I had to pau—you can't walk over the turtles. You get ticketed for that and then the whole thing. I would have been like 10 minutes late if I'd gotten stopp-I'm sorry.
Soobee [Thomas]:
As you know, I'm here to check on your mapping progress to make sure that you are on schedule. Would you mind pulling out your materials?
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Of course.
Samkit:
Paatarak reaches into his brown satchel, pulls out his various maps—
[rustling paper]
Samkit:
—with his tools, and starts, like, opening them up, spreading them out on a table.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
G-Go ahead, take a look.
Thomas:
Yeah, she-she rolls open the, the maps and traces her finger, her claw, along the route that you've kind of like traveled and like what you've mapped.
Soobee [Thomas]:
Mm. It appears that you are two months behind schedule, Paatarak. You were meant to be upstream a little bit earlier.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Yeah. The caravan I've been moving with, they stop for lunch…and dinner…and mid-afternoon tea…and early afternoon tea.
[Katie laughs softly]
Paatarak [Samkit]:
They move at a sn-we make up maybe five miles a day. So I-I've been, I've been trying to go faster, but I can't, I can't wander alone. I have no-I am not safe out there alone.
Soobee [Thomas]:
Tsk, tsk, tsk. This is, this is unfortunate. Paatarak. I expected better of you, honestly.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
I'm so sorry, ma'am.
Soobee [Thomas]:
Apologies can only get you so far, Paatarak. What will I tell the Guild?
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Oh! Give me another chance. I promise. I'll-I'll-I'll start moving faster. I'll go on my own. I'll find someone else. I just-I'll make it work.
Soobee [Thomas]:
Perhaps if you were to cover the rest of your route in the next…six months, we can call it, uh, call it even.
Samkit:
Does Paatarak know how long the rest of his route would take him if he went alone?
Thomas:
If you went alone? Eight or nine months.
Samkit:
I think Paatarak has like is like nervously sweating a little bit and goes:
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Ahh…okay, deal. I don't want to-I don't want to upset the Guild. I don't want to lose this job. So-so deal.
Soobee [Thomas]:
Okay. If you don't mind, I need to make a quick call to some colleagues of mine back at Wessels.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Okay. Can I ask about what?
Soobee [Thomas]:
Business.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Sure. Am I-should I stay? Should I go? What do you do—
Soobee [Thomas]:
Yes, we will resume. We can make specific plans as you finish up here.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Okay.
Thomas:
You see that she steps out of the room, and it sounds like she just stepped out of the room, and you can actually hear her calling someone on her speaking plant.
Samkit:
Mm hmm. I think Paatarak, like, moves a little closer to the door and, like, listens in, even though he's absolutely not supposed to.
Katie:
His giant elephant ear flattened against the door.
[Thomas laughs]
Samkit:
Yeah, exactly.
Thomas:
And you see her, or you, you hear her say:
Soobee [Thomas]:
Yes, I am with him now. The the poor little fool. He thinks he can become an Arcartographer? With this kind of work ethic? It is honestly disappointing. I do not know why you have forced me to be his supervisor.
[chattering on the speaking plant]
Soobee [Thomas]:
No no, I understand.
[chattering on the speaking plant]
Soobee [Thomas]:
Yes. I will make sure that he gets this done.
[chattering on the speaking plant]
Soobee [Thomas]:
Oh, even longer with him?
[chattering on the speaking plant]
Soobee [Thomas]:
He better pick up the pace.
Samkit:
Does Paatarak know who she would be talking to?
Thomas:
Yes, she would be talking to the head of Arcartography at Wessells Trade School, probably Orleanna DeVoe.
Samkit:
Gotcha. Okay. Um, yeah. So he like makes a mental note of that, to be, to like thank Dean Devoe, then goes back and pretends like he wasn't listening and starts looking over the maps again.
Thomas:
You see, about a minute later, Soobee walks back in and says:
Soobee [Thomas]:
Okay, now let us get down to brass tacks, shall we?
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Yes, of course.
Thomas:
And we'll cut to earlier once again.
[plucky upbeat music]
Thomas:
As Ashallynniamehra Ginggleppossumm, you are awoken in the cabin of the caravan cart that you've been traveling in by the light streaming into the window, and by the sound of your speaking plant, [rustling of leaves] seeming to be receiving some sort of call for you.
[music stops]
Ash [Talya]:
Oh, well, I mean, if you're not gonna start the morning off with work, then why wake up at all? It's what I've always said.
[the cast laughs]
Katie:
Horribly unhealthy.
Samkit:
Awful. So bad.
[more laughter]
Thomas:
Yeah. Bright eyed and bushy tailed, having maybe a couple of slow weeks of trying to find potential clients. Ash, you pick up the speaking plant and hear—
Talya:
It does take me two hands just to hold it up to my hair, or to my head.
Thomas:
It takes you two hands and you hear:
Kai [Thomas]:
Hello there, is this Ms. Ginggleppossumm?
Ash [Talya]:
Two Gs, two Ps, two Ss, two Ms. That's Ash for short. How can I help you?
Kai [Thomas]:
Yes. Hello, this is Kailofohibe Jeljaginfly of the Entertainment Workers Union.
Ash [Talya]:
EWU! (pronounced like “EWW!”) How are you today?
[the cast laughs]
Katie:
[laughing] You need to clarify. You need to…
Samkit:
[laughing] You need…that was…oh my God…
Thomas:
This is an employee of the Entertainment Workers Union. Or EWU.
[Katie and Samkit laugh again]
Thomas:
You've, you've met them before. You know them as Kai and they say:
Kai [Thomas]:
Ms. Ginggleppossumm. I have some news for you.
Ash [Talya]:
Yes, of course. Let me just grab something to write with.
Talya:
And I, of course, grab the smallest instrument that I can find, which is a mini golf pencil.
Thomas:
[laughs] You grab like a mini golf pencil, start taking down notes. You hear a banging on the wall of your room, [knocking] like your little stall in the caravan, and you hear someone go:
Vinley [Thomas]:
[muffled] Oy! I'm trying to sleep.
Ash [Talya]:
The sun is up. You should be too!
Vinley [Thomas]:
[muffled] Oh, no, that's-oh, that's so bad. No, I don't have to be up. Can you take your call somewhere else, please?
Talya:
Okay. I guess I gra-I mean, it's not a mobile speaking plant, is it?
Thomas:
I mean, you can pick up the, the pot that it's in and carry it outside.
Talya:
Okay, I'll do kind of one of those, um, I use my entire body to hold everything against me, and then I flutter out through the window. [fluttering wings]
Thomas:
Yeah, you flutter out, land by a little bit of bush and and like rock outcropping,
Kai [Thomas]:
Ms. Ginggleppossumm, are you still there?
Ash [Talya]:
Yes. Yes, I'm here. Continue.
Kai [Thomas]:
Why don’t I get to the news? Would that be okay with you, Ms. Ginggleppossumm?
Ash [Talya]:
As long as it's good.
[silence]
Kai [Thomas]:
Perhaps then we should take this call a different time.
[Samkit and Katie laugh]
Ash [Talya]:
Oh, goodness. Okay. Yes, I'm listening.
Kai [Thomas]:
Well, unfortunately, according to our records, you've not found a client yet. Is this correct?
Ash [Talya]:
Well, it depends on a definition of a client. I have certainly met a lot of people.
Kai [Thomas]:
And you have signed them to be represented by you, a talent agent?
Ash [Talya]:
Not…officially yet. However, is it more important to foster talent than, you know, to have binding legal paperwork?
Kai [Thomas]:
That's a very beautiful philosophy. Ms. Ginggleppossumm, but that actually doesn't quite matter for the point of this call.
Ash [Talya]:
Yes. No, I-I'm sure you're correct.
Kai [Thomas]:
Yes. Well, it's been some time since you completed your basic agent training, and unfortunately—
Ash [Talya]:
Yes, my time at BAT.
Kai [Thomas]:
Yes, your time at BAT. It's unfortunately—the allotted post-training time is almost up. And unfortunately, if you do not find a client by the end of the week, you will have to go back to basic agent training, which, as you know, is a five year program.
Ash [Talya]:
[shock] The end of the week?? Why didn't it receive any preliminary notices?
Kai [Thomas]
Unfortunately, our contract negotiations require a one week notice. Any earlier is actually a breach in Guild contract.
Ash [Talya]:
Well, I guess we have to get to work. Nothing else to do.
Kai [Thomas]:
Yes, you do.
Ash [Talya]:
Oh, goodness. Okay. Well, thank you so much for giving me a call. I really appreciate it. I-I will surely get a client by the end of the week.
Katie:
Do you think this person's in need of representation?
[Samkit and Thomas chuckle]
Ash [Talya]:
Kai, if I may?
Kai [Thomas]:
Yes?
[Katie giggles]
Ash [Talya]:
Perchance?
Kai [Thomas]:
Yes?
Ash [Talya]:
Are you in need of representation? Because I know someone.
[Katie laughs]
Kai [Thomas]:
I actually just was offered representation this morning by the person I called before you. I’m so very sorry.
Samkit:
Ohh…
Ash [Talya]:
Of course. You can, you have such a great speaking plant voice. I knew you’d get snatched up right away.
Kai [Thomas]:
Thank you. I’ve been thinking of starting a vinecast.
[silence]
Katie:
Oh. Bad. Cursed.
[Thomas snickers]
Samkit:
Awful. So bad.
Talya:
Nosebleeds.
[the cast laughs]
Samkit:
Everyone's nose bleeds.
Katie:
Everyone gets a nosebleed.
Kai [Thomas]:
Well, Ms. Ginggleppossumm, I hope you have a wonderful day. And best of luck finding a client.
Ash [Talya]:
Thank you. I will.
[snorts of laughter]
Talya:
And I guess I just-I take my mini golf pencil—
[Thomas chuckles]
Talya:
—and I get to work making lists of every person I've ever met.
Thomas:
Yeah, you, you create these, like, lists, and it takes you a little bit.
[fluttering wings and pencil scratching on paper]
Thomas:
Like, basically running up and down the paper, like, flying over the piece of paper you have, like, writing. And by the time you finish writing, the sun has pretty much come up and you can probably hop back on the caravan.
Talya:
Do I know my neighbor’s name?
Thomas:
Yeah. Your neighbor's name was…Vinley.
Talya:
Okay. I go and I tap with my mini golf pencil—
Thomas:
So, as you fly up from the bushes that you were, like, taking the call in, the caravan is not there.
Talya:
[gasps]
Katie:
Oh, been there.
[Samkit chuckles]
Ash [Talya]:
Um…hello?
Thomas:
You were so engrossed in taking these notes of everybody you've ever met that you didn't notice the caravan picking up and leaving.
Ash [Talya]:
Oh, gosh.
Katie:
And kids, that's what happens when you let your work consume you.
[Thomas laughs]
Talya:
Don't turn my plight into a life lesson!
[the cast laughs]
Thomas:
And we will cut from there over to Lenral—
[quirky, energetic music]
Thomas:
—who is making his way up the river, and you've been chatting with this talking bird for a little bit. His name is Jez and…he's like, chill.
[music stops]
Katie:
He does seem like a very chill—as far as birds go, seems like a very chill bird.
Thomas:
Yeah.
[Samkit laughs softly]
Lenral [Katie]:
So what's your story, Jez?
Jez [Thomas]:
Um, yeah. No, I mean, I just…one day I woke up and I could talk, and it was pretty sick, but I was like, yeah, let me go see the world. Just like, kind of wanderlust, you know?
Lenral [Katie]:
Oh, yeah, I can relate to that.
Jez [Thomas]:
Have you been traveling long?
Lenral [Katie]:
Yeah, for a bit. Uh…it's been pretty good. I've been seeing a lot of the world. I have always been able to talk. So, that wasn't a new revelation to me. Can't relate on that front. Well, actually, I guess I haven't always been able to talk.
Jez [Thomas]:
Right, like baby time, right?
Lenral [Katie]:
No. When I was 27, for a few days, I had a spell cast on me that, like, my mouth was just wiped clean off my face.
Jez [Thomas]:
Oh, scary.
Lenral [Katie]:
It didn't. No, I mean, it didn't hurt. I could still breathe. It was fine. Just couldn’t talk.
Jez [Thomas]:
Okay.
Lenral [Katie]:
Couldn’t talk for a few days, until we could get that sorted out. So yeah, so I can, I can, I can definitely relate on that front. Not being able to talk.
But yeah, the traveling thing has been good. I have been seeing Grevelon, meeting a lot of people. Like to keep on the move, I like to keep moving. You know, I feel like you stay in one place for so long, you know, I just start thinking about all the other places out there, and you know, what else I could be seeing.
Jez [Thomas]:
Yeah
Lenral [Katie]:
But uh, yeah, unfortunately, I have not had the best luck with choosing my traveling companions and…dunno. Traveling alone, it's…doesn't hit the same.
Jez [Thomas]:
Yeah, I feel that, like, I prefer flying in a big V with some other birds, you know? But sometimes I just got to flit around alone, but it’s lonely.
Lenral [Katie]:
Yeah, but then you’ve got to choose between loneliness or having all of your stuff stolen. Sometimes you got to pick loneliness.
Thomas:
Lenral. You hear the bushes around you begin to rustle a little bit.
[rustling leaves]
Katie:
I do a quick like, look at the sun, get my bearings to see if I've stumbled into the Rustling…Rustling Forest, which is a little-not so much a forest, more of a woods. It’s a little woods where all of the leaves rustle on their own volition, just nic—am I there? Am I in that?
Thomas:
You look around. No, you are not there.
Katie:
Yeah, it's actually very far away from where I am.
Thomas:
Yeah.
Katie:
I was just more, it was more wishful thinking than anything.
Thomas:
It’s across the continent, basically.
Katie:
Yeah. Huh. Okay, I'm gonna say:
Lenral [Katie]:
Hello? Bush? Is that a bush or someone in the bush?
[Samkit chuckles]
Thomas:
You see a person stands up from inside the bush, and they have a bow drawn on you.
Lenral [Katie]:
Oh…hello friend.
Katie:
I'm gonna put my hands up holding my staff in one hand.
Lenral [Katie]:
Good morning!
Gawbrio [Thomas]:
Good morning. I think it'll be pretty conducive to our days continuing on well, if you were just to lay all your belongings out in front of you and move along.
Lenral [Katie]:
Man, I've had a bad morning. I don't have much stuff left. I've already-you're-you're not the first person to do this to me today. Let me tell you. I don't have much left. I don't think I'll have anything—
Gawbrio [Thomas]:
Wait, you've been robbed today?
Lenral [Katie]:
I-yeah. Woke up this morning. Whole tent cut clean around me.
Thomas:
You hear a couple more people pop up from bushes all around you. [rustling leaves] All of them, like, bows drawn. But I think we're gonna have—
Katie:
Little jealous. Jealous—
Thomas:
-a bit of a roll.
Katie:
—I wish I had friends to travel with, like you apparently do.
[the cast laughs]
Katie:
Must be nice. A little roll?
Thomas:
Yeah. It sounds like you're trying to convince them not to rob you.
Katie:
Yeah.
Thomas:
So the way that our game works is that I'm gonna set a difficulty for this character by creating a pool of multiple dice based on the difficulty of this challenge. Then our players will assemble a dice pool of their own and attempt to beat the challenge as effectively as possible.
So this is a group of ruffians, as it were, and they have the upper hand. So they're kind of like, secure in the knowledge that they could probably take your things if they wanted to. So, we're gonna call that a somewhat difficult task to overcome. 2d6.
However, you're also looking pretty, pretty, like, upset about losing all your things earlier. So they're gonna add only one extra D4 to this roll. And so that difficulty for you is gonna be [rolls dice] a nine.
Katie:
All right. So I'm going to use, I have three Distinctions. I'm gonna use my Distinction called Everyone's Neighbor, because I'm just trying to kind of have a neighborly sort of attitude, just trying to be friendly to these people. I've met a lot of people, so I know how to talk to a lot of different people.
I'm going to use my Charm Attribute, which is a d6, and my Survive Skill, which is a d6, and the Distinction is a d8. So I am rolling 2d6 and a d8, and I'm trying to beat a nine?
Thomas:
Nine.
Katie:
All right.
[rolls dice]
The dice gave me a really easy way to do the math, and I still, it still took me a second.
[Thomas and Katie laugh]
Katie:
I rolled a six on the d6, and then I rolled two threes.
[laughter from the whole cast]
Katie
And I still stared at them for a very long time trying to figure out which I should go with. So—
[more laughter]
Katie:
All right, so, I am going to-so that's a nine. With a d6 Effect Die.
Thomas:
All right. So this is somewhat effective. And yeah, you see this ruffian who now, like, pulls down like the bandana that they had over their nose and mouth, revealing, like, a really like well-kept handlebar mustache and like a little, like, sharp goatee. Like, just, just like, real, like, gentleman looks—
Katie:
Lenral’s jealous. He can't—
Thomas:
Oh no, he can’t.
Katie:
He can’t grow facial hair. He did once. There was a-actually a few times there's been potions, but they don't, they don't last.
Thomas:
Yeah. You see he sheaths his bow and goes:
Gawbrio [Thomas]:
Alright, I'm-I'm so sorry, mate. That's that real-aw man. That's, that's a bad look for us, honestly.
Lenral [Katie]:
Oh, no, it's fine. You don't have to worry about it. It's not your fault. You didn't know.
Gawbrio [Thomas]:
Yeah, no, that's totally fair. You know, I'm-you know what, we're just gonna let you go about your day.
Lenral [Katie]:
Do any of you have any bread and/or butter on you? I didn't-my breakfast was also stolen. I'm a little hungry.
Gawbrio [Thomas]:
Oh, yeah. We got really, like, nice, like, crusty bread with, like loads of, like, garlic butter on it. Is that good for you?
Lenral [Katie]:
That would-yeah, that would be great.
Gawbrio [Thomas]:
Yeah, great. Ay, Livin. Livin!
Thomas:
He calls over what looks to be like same like kind of like leather vest, bandana over the face, with like a chef's hat—
[the cast laughs]
Thomas:
—brings over, like, a little, like, take away box with, like gorgeous, like, fresh, warm, like, fluffy bread with, with like a really, like what looks like a garlic compound butter on it.
Katie:
It's just like a Whole Foods hot bar box.
Thomas:
Exactly.
[chuckles from the crew]
Gawbrio [Thomas]:
All right. Yeah. So sorry about that. Why don’t-you know what? Just go on. We’ll leave you be.
Lenral [Katie]:
Oh, thank you so much. Hey, you guys are so nice. Hey, what's your name, man? I'm Lenral.
Thomas:
[laughs, sighs] God. Um…
Samkit:
[chuckling] I love making Thomas come up with names on the fly. I love it.
Thomas:
Um, yeah. My name's Gawbrio.
Talya:
Fantasynamegenerator.com. This episode is not sponsored.
[Samkit and Katie laugh]
Thomas:
I literally typed it-like closed my eyes, typed some letters on my keyboard, opened them up, and pronounced the first thing I saw.
Katie:
That’s the move.
Talya:
That looks like a really nice cheese name.
Samkit:
Yeah. Gawbrio.
Katie:
Oo, a nice Gaw…a nice, creamy Gawbrio.
Talya:
Gawbrio
Samkit:
Sounds like some Italian, like New York, Italian would go [with an abysmally bad New York Italian accent] Gawbrio.
Katie:
[with a better New York Italian accent] Gawbrio.
Gawbrio [Thomas]:
My parents are cheese mongers, and so they named a cheese after me. I hear it's picking up popularity. Honestly, I probably don't have to go about like, doing ruffian things. I could probably, just like, kind of retire on the name rights alone.
Lenral [Katie]:
No, but, you know, you have to-it's important to follow your passions, you know, even if you have other routes you can take, it's important to do what makes you happy.
Gawbrio [Thomas]:
Yeah, I'm following my passions.
Katie:
Talya just messaged “nepo baby.” I just needed everyone to know that.
Gawbrio [Thomas]:
You know what? Go on your way. You're fine. Have a good day. Sorry about that before.
Lenral [Katie]:
Hey, don't-water under the bridge. Don't worry about it. You all, you all take care. Travel safe.
Ruffians [Thomas]:
[at descending pitches] Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Katie:
I'll take off a bit of the bread and hand it off to my buddy Jez.
Thomas:
Yeah Jez, Jez takes the crumb of bread and gulps it down.
Jez [Thomas]:
That was a sticky situation.
Lenral [Katie]:
Yeah. I notice that you kind of just…stood by again, Jez.
Jez [Thomas]:
Yeah, I mean—
Lenral [Katie]:
Really inactive
Jez [Thomas]:
—hard-hard, hard to say that I could do anything useful in that kind of a situation. I'm a-I'm just a little guy.
Lenral [Katie]:
I think you undersell yourself, Jez. I think you undersell yourself. And I-I think that maybe sometimes you hide behind that as an excuse. Maybe that's something you should look into.
Thomas:
Jez, like, takes a beat.
Jez [Thomas]:
Huh.
Lenral [Katie]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Jez [Thomas]:
I gotta think about that.
Thomas:
Jez [flapping wings] takes off, flying away.
Lenral [Katie]:
Oh! And there goes my last friend.
[the cast starts to laugh]
Thomas:
[laughing] Oh no!
Samkit:
So brutal.
Talya:
Oh no.
Samkit:
So, so brutal.
Lenral [Katie]:
I drove him away by [laughing] setting, setting boundaries.
Katie:
And kids, that's why you should never question your friends or—
[overlapping laughter and chatter]
Thomas:
Nooo! That’s a bad lesson.
Samkit:
No, hold on, hold on.
Katie:
—or ask them to confront their negative behaviors that impact you in a negative way. Never, never do that. [laughs]
[the cast laughs]
Talya:
So true.
[plucky upbeat music]
Thomas:
And now we're gonna cut over to Paatarak. You see that Soobee has created basically an itemized itinerary of locations you need to get to, people you need to speak to, mapping you need to get done, all within the span of six months.
Samkit:
Paatarak looks at this list and, like, he knows, like we said, it's gonna take eight months. So he's trying to figure out the best way to get through all of these locations and starts to, like, look at the map and figure out an optimized route, if you will, which I think him and, you said to him and Soobee already did?
Thomas:
Mhm. Yeah.
Samkit:
Okay. Yeah. So he-he just looks at the list and goes:
Paatarak [Samkit]:
And if I do this, I keep my job?
Soobee [Thomas]:
Yes, of course. You are under a union contract, are you not?
Paatarak [Samkit]:
That I am. Love-love the-love the Apprentice Guild. Thank god for the Apprentice Guild.
Soobee [Thomas]:
Yes, it is a very wonderful institution.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Can I ask you something, Soobee?
Soobee [Thomas]:
You may.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
How long do I have to be an apprentice before I can become a full Arcartographer?
Soobee [Thomas]:
Is that your goal?
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Yeah!
Soobee [Thomas]:
Then you made a very big mistake along the way, Paatarak.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
What did I do?
Soobee [Thomas]:
The route to become a full time Arcartographer’s Assistant is very, very different from becoming an Arcartographer itself.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Surely that can't be right. You may have just taken a different route than I did.
Soobee [Thomas]:
No, no, no. Let me. Hold on. Give me a second.
Thomas:
You see, she rummages in her bags and pulls out a book called The History of Arcartography and hands it to you—
Katie:
She just had that? She's got that on hand, huh? [laughs]
Thomas:
[laughs] She always has-this is her favorite book. She reads it front to back about every month. And she hands it to you.
Soobee [Thomas]:
I have another copy at home. You can hold onto that one. Just take a little skim through. See how many Arcartographers there started off as…assistants. [condescending laughter] Assistants! Assistant to an Arcartographer!
Paatarak [Samkit]: I’m right here.
Soobee [Thomas]:
Oh, yes. I'm so sorry. That was perhaps a little rude, but no, Paatarak. If, if, if you are an Assistant Arcartographer, you will never become an Arcartographer.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
I don't think that's true. I think, once again, the, the Guild will help me out. I'll figure it out.
Samkit:
And Paatarak starts to pack up his stuff.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
It's like I should really get going.
Soobee [Thomas]:
All right, Paatarak. But you know, just skim through the book. You'll see that [low tone] as usual, [normal tone] I am right.
Samkit:
Paatarak looks at Soobee and goes:
Paatarak [Samkit]:
[strained] Mhm. Okay, ma'am.
Samkit:
And then starts to leave, fully sweating and like has-is convincing himself that she is not telling him the truth. Because if he has spent so long just becoming an assistant, he's gonna have a full breakdown.
[Thomas laughs at his misery]
Samkit:
And then he—
[Samkit and Thomas both laugh at his misery]
Samkit:
I think Paatarak just starts walking to the next city he needs to go to. He's like, he starts like humming himself a little song that he used to while he was a-while he was a wrangler and then just, like, keeps himself calm and walks and walks and walks.
Thomas:
Yeah. As you start—
Katie:
Give us a little-give us a little sample.
Thomas:
Yeah.
Samkit:
[laughing] Give me a beat.
Katie:
[also laughing] Yeah, yeah totally. Take your time.
Thomas:
[also, also laughing] Yeah take some time.
Talya:
Everyone who says give me a beat, I always want to start beatboxing.
[Samkit laughs, Thomas performs some rudimentary beatboxing]
Katie:
And you should! And you should, and I don't know why you haven’t been.
Talya:
Every single time.
Samkit:
[laughing] Every single time.
Thomas:
[laughing] Every single time.
Talya:
Every single time!
Thomas:
Paatarak, you you head out on the road, you go to, like, go to the caravan that you've been, like, riding with to, like, pick up your—
Katie:
I wanted to hear-I wanted to hear the song!
Samkit:
Wait! Hold on!
Thomas:
No, no!
Samkit:
Oh go ahead. Go ahead.
Thomas:
We're gonna get to that.
[soft laughter]
Thomas:
But first, you-you turn to head to the caravan where you had left a lot of your, like, clothing. You left a trunk there because you're traveling with a caravan. Caravan’s gone.
Katie:
Uh!
[silence]
Paatarak [Samkit]:
God, today couldn't get any worse.
Okay. Okay…
Thomas:
One of the town’s Watchpeople goes:
Town Watchperson [Thomas]:
Uh, sir, sir? You interrupted a turtle crossing, that's gonna be a fine here.
Thomas:
And starts to write you a little ticket.
[Katie laughs softly]
Samkit:
Paatarak starts humming again. He goes:
Paatarak [Samkit]:
[singing] Go get the little Hydras. Go get the big Hydras. They won’t kill you if you go in a group. Go—
Samkit:
And I keeps just repeating that to himself because he's like—
[the cast laughs and goes “Awww”]
Samkit:
—he's like, that helped calm him down while he was the hydra-was in the hydra wrangling group. And like, he pays off his ticket, and then just goes and starts walking in the direction he knew the caravan was going because he knows they move slowly, so he might just be able to grab his stuff if he runs into them.
[Katie laughs]
Thomas:
Yep.
[somewhat frantic, plucky music with the same tune as The Hydra Song]
Thomas:
We will cut from there over to Ash. Ash, you have just noticed that the caravan has left you in the dust.
[music ends]
[Talya makes loud clanging sound]
Thomas:
Um…oh goodness.
Samkit:
[laughing] And that was the sound of the caravan leaving.
[Katie laughs]
Thomas:
[laughing] The sound of the—
Talya:
Sorry…
[Samkit makes a gong sound while laughing]
Talya:
I said I found a perfect angle, but then I keep readjusting the way I sit.
[Thomas and Talya chuckle]
Thomas:
But yeah, you see that the caravan has, has gone, and you're left behind.
Ash [Talya]:
Oh, no. I don't do well on my own.
Thomas:
Most of your belongings were on that caravan as well.
Ash [Talya]:
Oh, goodness. Okay, well, I have a pencil, so…and that's mightier than a sword.
[the cast laughs]
Ash [Talya]:
So truly I have everything I need to succeed in this life.
Katie:
Does she still have her rolypolydex?
Thomas:
Oh, yeah, of course. She carries that with her all the time.
Talya:
I don't-I don't leave home without it.
Thomas:
You start to, like, flutter down the road trying to—
Talya:
Yeah. Can I do, can I try to maybe find someone?
Thomas:
Yeah!
Talya:
See any movement in the distance?
Thomas:
Yeah. You're gonna look out for movement. Why don't you give me another roll?
Talya:
Happy to!
Thomas:
It is somewhat bright and sunny, so let's call that a d8 against you and we'll roll the other as 2d6.
Talya:
Great.
Katie:
You're fighting the sun.
Thomas:
[chuckling] You're fighting the sun.
Talya:
I’m fighting the sun!
Thomas:
You're trying to be a difficulty of [rolls dice] eight.
Talya:
Great. I will do a d8 of Notice. I believe a d8 of Agility makes sense as I'm trying to maybe speed my way as fast as I can.
Thomas:
Cool.
Talya:
And then, I think See the Silver Lining might help, but I'm gonna hinder myself with See the Silver Lining. I think she's maybe struggling to see that at the moment.
Thomas:
Totally.
Talya:
[rolls dice] Oh, okay. Okay. So that is a, that is a total of nine, with a d8 Effect Die.
Thomas:
Oh, wonderful. Yeah. As you're looking out, trying to, like, follow, trying to find someone—
[calm but plucky music plays]
Thomas:
—you come upon a figure who's just walking along the river seemingly towards where you are coming from and seems to be walking with like a large walking stick with a weird, like, head on it and, like, a backpack.
[music stops]
Ash [Talya]:
Excuse me, hello!
Katie:
Mm. Paatarak.
Ash [Talya]:
Excuse me!
Samkit:
Definitely.
[some light chuckling]
Thomas:
Lenral, you hear a little voice calling out to you.
Ash [Talya]:
Excuse me, friend! Hello!
Katie:
I think Jez is back, so I’m like:
Lenral [Katie]:
Hey, man, I'm so-I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have forced you to confront anything about yourself. That was my bad. I crossed a line. I—
Ash [Talya]:
Oh, I think you might be mistaking me for someone. Up here. I'm up here.
Lenral [Katie]:
Oh, hey.
Ash [Talya]:
Hello.
Thomas:
And, Lenral, you see this small fairy, and you both recognize each other from Ash’s attempts about two months ago to sign Lenral as a client.
Lenral [Katie]:
We've met!
Ash [Talya]:
Lenral! Of course. I never forget a face or a name unless it doesn’t hit me immediately.
[Samkit laughs]
Ash [Talya]:
Yes, my name is A—
[Talya starts laughing because Samkit is laughing]
Lenral [Katie]:
Yeah, Ash, right? I remember you.
Ash [Talya]:
Yes. Ashallynniamehra Ginggleppossumm two Gs, two Ps, two Ss, two Ms. But you can, as you did, call me Ash. How have you been?
Lenral [Katie]:
I did not remember all of that. But it's okay, I have a long name too. That's not-you don't need to remember. Uh, yeah, I'm all right. I-I've been better. How-how are you? How are you?
Ash [Talya]:
Oh, you know, just about to come across a deadline that might negate half a decade's worth of work, but—
Lenral [Katie]:
Oh...
Ash [Talya]:
—never better. Never better.
Lenral [Katie]:
Are you traveling alone? I thought I-when we met last time, you were with a caravan, I think.
Ash [Talya]:
Yes, that was the case at one point. However, I have seemed to be abandoned by my traveling group, and I'm trying to find my way. Have you seen a large caravan pass through?
Lenral [Katie]:
Can I tell you? Not only have I not seen a large caravan pass through, but I've also haven't seen my traveling companions who also not only abandoned me this morning, but stole all my stuff.
Ash [Talya]:
Goodness, there must be something in the water.
[Paatarak singing The Hydra Song in the distance]
Thomas:
You both hear the sound of someone who's humming, trying to hum under their breath, but is not humming under their breath and is humming very loud.
[singing ends]
Katie:
Lenral again thinks that Jez might be back, and so he goes around looking again. He’s looking at the sky again.
[calm but plucky but quirky music plays]
Thomas:
And Lenral, you bump into someone you've not seen in a while. Your old roommate from Wessels Trade School: Paatarak
[music ends]
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Oh, I'm, I’m so sorry.
Lenral [Katie]:
So sorry, I’m so…
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Lenral!
Lenral [Katie]:
Paatarak!
Paatarak [Samkit]:
How are you doing?!
Lenral [Katie]:
[says some indistinguishable excited nonsense that neither Samkit nor Katie can figure out in post] Hey man!
Ash [Talya]:
Ash. Ash? Ash, hi.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Hi, Ash?
Ash [Talya]:
Ashallynniamehra Ginggleppossumm two Gs, two Ps, two Ss, two Ms. Pleasure!
Paatarak [Samkit]:
It's wonderful to meet you.
Lenral [Katie]:
Yeah. Ash. Paatarak. Paatarak. Ash. This is so wild, man. What are you-what are you doing out here?
Paatarak [Samkit]:
I would love to stay and chat, but I actually have t-I'm on a strict schedule. I cannot stop walking.
Lenral [Katie]:
Oh, oh sure.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Do you wanna walk with me? Are you guys—
Lenral [Katie]:
Yeah, yeah.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Yeah I—
Lenral [Katie]:
Yeah! Where-which where are you going? Doesn't matter. I'll go anywhere.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Yeah, my boss told me if I don't complete a route that usually takes eight months in six months, I will get fired. So…I'm just moving and moving and moving!
Lenral [Katie]:
On foot?
Paatarak [Samkit]:
On foot. I don't have a hors—
Ash [Talya]:
Well, it'd be much easier if you had wings. Have you considered?
Paatarak [Samkit]:
I have! I have tried to grow them before. When I was young, I focused really hard, but they didn't come out.
Lenral [Katie]:
Yeah, we all had the-we all had the wing phase where we thought if we focused really hard…
Katie:
Paatarak has also, like, has continued walking and is like calling over his shoulder as he's—
[the cast laughs]
Thomas:
Yeah.
Samkit:
[laughing] Yelling from like a half, like, 200 feet away.
Katie:
Yeah. Lenral starts power walking to catch up.
Thomas:
Lenral, you also see, Ash is just carrying, like, a big potted speaking plant with her.
Katie:
[laughing] Oh, god…
Talya:
And a pencil!
Thomas:
[laughing] And a pencil, which as-
Lenral [Katie]:
Do you want me to grab that for you?
Ash [Talya]:
Oh, that would be so good. You see, my arms don't have the carrying capacity they used to when I would hold so many children at once.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
You're a mother?
Ash [Talya]:
No, a sister. But these days, who's to say the difference?
[silence]
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Um…
[Katie cackles]
Ash [Talya]:
So, Paatarak, what do you do?
Thomas:
And from there—
[ascending chime]
Thomas:
-we flash forward to months later.
[somewhat frantic, plucky music with the same tune as The Hydra Song]
Thomas:
As Lenral finds himself, as he's found himself once before, in the recent past, stuck in a plant. Just his, like, shoulders, arms, and head are outside of the plant. Paatarak and Ash, you are doing whatever you can to try to pull him out, but nothing is working right now.
[music ends]
Lenral [Katie]:
[muffled] I'm telling you, just cut it open.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
I don't want to kill the plant. This is, this is an endangered species!
Ash [Talya]:
How did we get into this? Truly, I'm thinking back, and I can't even remember how we found ourselves in this predicament.
[laughter from the cast]
Thomas:
Flashback to thirty seconds ago. [ascending chime] Lenral wasn’t watching where he was looking, and he fell into the plant.
[plant slurp]
Lenral [Katie]:
[fading] Not agaaaaiiiin!
Thomas:
Cut back to now. [descending chime]
[light chuckles]
Ash [Talya]:
Oh goodness.
[Katie and Thomas quietly laugh]
Ash [Talya]:
Maybe true love's kiss! Len, try to kiss the plant.
Lenral [Katie]:
[muffled] I’m not gonna kiss the plant!
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Lenral, it might work. Try kissing the plant!
Ash [Talya]:
It might work.
[Talya and Thomas giggle]
Katie:
There's like a long silence.
[silence]
Lenral [Katie]:
[muffled] It didn’t work.
[Thomas chuckles]
Ash [Talya]:
Well, did you believe that you loved it?
Lenral [Katie]:
[muffled] I'm having a hard time loving the thing that is currently trying to eat me.
[Thomas chuckles]
Ash [Talya]:
Okay, okay, maybe, maybe we can tickle the plant.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
That's a good idea
Ash [Talya]:
Right?
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Let’s tickle the plant.
Ash [Talya]:
Or make it sneeze!
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Yeah. Lenral, try tickling the plant from inside. We'll tickle it from outside.
Talya:
Ash tries to look for dust.
Thomas:
Okay yeah. Ash, you-you find a handful of like, dust and dirt
Ash [Talya]:
Great.
Samkit:
Yeah. [laughing] Paatarak will tickle the plant, at like, the edges of the mouth to try to open it up.
Talya:
Ash wants to sprinkle dust all over.
Katie:
Paatarak gets Lenral’s leg a little bit and he goes:
Lenral [Katie]:
[muffled] Ah wait, you got my le—[Lenral laughs]
Katie:
He starts laughing.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
I didn’t know you were this ticklish.
Lenral [Katie]:
[muffled, laughing] I’m ticklish, I’m ticklish!
Paatarak [Samkit]:
I like, barely touched you.
Lenral [Katie]:
[muffled] Specifically on my legs. My le-my legs are very ticklish.
Ash [Talya]:
Paatarak, do you have your lasso?
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Oh, yeah, I do.
Ash [Talya]:
Remember when I first signed you and you were like, oh, I was-I used to be a hydra wrangler?
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Oh, try to like, hydra wrangle Len out of there.
Ash [Talya]:
Out of this plant. Yes.
Paatarak [Samkit]
Okay. Len, this might tickle.
Ash [Talya]:
And I know you can do this.
Thomas:
Paatarak, you lasso around Len's legs, and we're gonna do a roll. This is a strong…a strong-ish plant. So that's gonna be 2d6. And let’s add one additional D6, because you're trying not to harm Lenral’s legs as you pull—
Talya:
Or the plant!
Thomas:
-or the plant. So that's gonna be a difficulty of [rolls dice] ten.
Samkit:
Okay.
Thomas:
As Paatarak begins to pull, Ash is going to attempt to help him. How are you helping Paatarak?
Talya:
I would like to spend a Plot Point to really provide a lot of verbal support from, from the sidelines. I think Paatarak sometimes tends to be down on himself, and Ash is so peppy that it neutralizes that completely.
[Talya and Samkit chuckle]
Thomas:
All right, Ash. Go ahead and give me a quick roll that’s—
Katie:
Ash uses words of affirmation.
Talya:
Yes.
[Samkit laughs]
Thomas:
[rolls dice] Yeah. That’s gonna be a difficulty of six. So if you want to go ahead, just give me a quick roll and spend that Plot Point.
Talya:
I'm going to do the Distinction of See the Silver Lining, which gives me a d8 for that. A d8 for Influence...
Thomas:
Mhm.
Talya:
Plus a d8 for Charm. Actually, a d8 for Heart. I think Heart makes a lot more sense.
Thomas:
Yeah!
Talya:
[rolls dice] That is a 13 with a d8 Effect Die.
Thomas:
Beautiful. You-you speak these words of encouragement to Paatarak, and Paatarak, you can go ahead and add an extra d8 to this roll.
Samkit:
Amazing. Thank you, Ash. Great, so—
Talya:
You can do it! I believe in you!
Katie:
The power of being represented.
Samkit:
I know, it's wonderful. So Paatarak is gonna take his Distinction, Calloused Right Hand, but he's gonna hinder it because he's currently in charge of the situation. So, he'll take a Plot Point and roll a d4. He'll use his Attribute Brawn, and his Move Skill, along with his lasso Signature Asset, as well as the additional d8 that he got from Ash. [rolls dice] Um…he did roll, oh, oh no. [laughing in shock]
Katie:
Oh no…
Samkit:
[laughing] He rolled three hitches.
[gasps]
Thomas:
[laughing] Oh no.
Katie: Have we said a hitch is a one? Have we said what a hitch is? A hitch is a one.
Thomas:
Yeah.
Katie:
A hitch is bad.
Thomas:
A hitch is a one on any of the dice that are rolled—
Talya:
If you don't understand, go listen to the episode that you're not supposed to listen to.
[the cast laughs]
[Katie and Thomas overlapping as Samkit laughs]
Thomas:
It’s not that you’re not supposed to listen to it. Please go listen to it if you want to. You can listen to it.
Katie:
You’re not NOT supposed to listen to it. You can listen to it. If you don’t want to listen to it, you don’t have to.
Thomas:
It’s not mandatory. You're-you are allowed to, though.
[more light laughter]
Samkit:
Yep. So, that's a seven all told with three hitches.
Thomas:
Oh, no. So this is going to be a Complication for Paatarak, which means that I get to roll extra dice against him if that comes into play. I'm gonna give him an additional Plot Point. Paatarak—
Katie:
Do I accidentally kick him?
[Samkit chuckles]
Thomas:
Yes. Lenral, you kick Paatarak, and Paatarak that, like, forces you to, like, stumble, and the plant like slurps in Lenral’s legs further, and then slurps via the lasso. [slurping sound] You get slurped into the plant's mouth as well.
[Katie laughs]
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Hi Lenral.
Ash [Talya]:
Oh no. Oh no, oh god, oh no.
Thomas:
You have a, a Being Digested Complication, which is going to be a d10 Complication.
Samkit:
Oh, no.
Ash [Talya]:
Oh, goodness. Oh, no.
Samkit:
Paatarak turns to Lenral, and goes:
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Sorry.
Katie:
Yeah. Can we-are we, can we see each other now? Are we both—
Thomas:
Yeah, you both can see each other in the plant.
Lenral [Katie]:
Hey, that's okay, man. Then it happens.
[Thomas chuckles]
Lenral [Katie]:
You tried your best, and I appreciate that.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Yeah.
[Paatarak and Lenral makes muffled sounds to call for Ash]
Talya:
Ash is just flying around.
Ash [Talya]:
Okay. Okay. Brawn didn’t work. Tickling didn't work. Dust didn't work. I can try one more thing. Plant…[scolding] you let my friends go!
[Katie and Thomas laugh]
Paatarak [Samkit]:
[muffled] You tell ‘em, Ash.
Thomas:
You're-you're attempting to command this plant?
Talya:
But with Fairy Magic.
Thomas:
But with Fairy Magic. Beautiful. You use the power of the fairies to try to enchant this plant. We're gonna call this a 2d6 difficulty with an additional d8 because you're-because this is a plant that likes to eat things.
[Samkit giggles]
Thomas:
[rolls dice] That's gonna be a ten difficulty, but I actually rolled a hitch, which means that if Paatarak would like to, he could spend a Plot Point to reduce his d10 Complication.
Samkit:
Okay, great. So yeah, I'll spend one to reduce it to a d8.
Thomas:
Beautiful. Ash, go ahead and try to beat a difficulty ten.
Talya:
Okay, I'm going to use my Connection Seeker Distinction. I think I'm trying to connect with this eating man-eating plant–person–folk-eating plant. I do think that is another d8 Charm and additionally a d8 Influence. I think that makes the most sense. Plus a d6 Fairy Magic Specialty.
Thomas:
Beautiful.
Samkit:
Oooo.
Talya:
So that is 3d8 and a d6. [rolls dice] That's a nine.
Katie:
[laughing] Nooo
Thomas:
[laughing] Nooooo
Katie:
[still laughing] This is the first episode!!
[Samkit bursts out laughing]
Thomas:
[also still laughing] This is the first episode!!
Katie:
[voice increasing in pitch] This is the first episode!! This is the first episode!!
[Katie is laughing so hard]
Talya:
With a d8-unless? No yeah. That’s a nine with a d8—
[Katie is still making high-pitched laughing noises]
Samkit:
Do you have a Plot Point? Can you add a—
Talya:
I used my Plot Point to help you.
[Katie is still laughing]
Thomas:
Um, Ash…
Lenral [Katie]:
Get in here, Ash!
Thomas:
Ash, you-you start to talk to this plant, you see it's starting to relax a little bit, and then you get just a little bit too close, and a vine whips out [vine snapping sound] and pulls you into [slurping sound] the plant’s mouth.
Ash [Talya]:
That's not what I wanted.
Thomas:
You three are now together in the plant's mouth.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Hi, Ash.
Lenral [Katie]:
Welcome to the plant.
Ash [Talya]:
Well, at least, like, the plant must be full. You know, it's not like he's gonna be eating anything else.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
But it's eating us.
Ash [Talya]:
Sure, but at least he's not eating anything else.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
You're-I guess you're right. It's a very positive outlook on this—
Ash [Talya]:
We have saved—
Paatarak [Samkit]:
—very very not positive looking…[chuckles]
Ash [Talya]:
—we have saved the civilians of this town from being consumed.
Lenral [Katie]:
Yeah, I'm gonna, uh…
Katie:
Can I extend my hammer staff to just try to rip through this plant? [laughs]
Thomas:
[chuckling] Yeah, I think for that, you don't even need to roll. You-you prop up your hammer and just—
[wet bursting noise]
Thomas:
—it like, bursts, like, through, the, like, end bursts through, like, one part of the plant mouth. The hammer head, like, pushes against it and you just, like, pry open the plant mouth—
[Katie makes a noise that emulates a grunt from Lenral pushing open this mouth]
Thomas:
—and just pull yourself out.
Lenral [Katie]:
All right, everyone out. Watch your step. A lot of plant goo around.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
You were right, Lenral, we should have just…we should have just killed the plant.
Lenral [Katie]:
You know, I'm glad we explored other options. And, hey, we can—I've asked my sister about this before, and she advised that maybe we can collect some bits of the plant and see if someone can propagate it, you know, keep it going. So it's not just a loss.
Paatarak [Samkit]:
Oh, that's a good idea.
Ash [Talya]:
I love recycling.
Katie:
Lenral’s looking for, like, a full piece of plant.
Thomas:
Yeah.
Katie:
There's just kind of, like, little teeny bits everywhere. He's looking for a good [laughs] he’s, like, poking around with his staff…
Thomas:
You find a bit of, like, root that you can, like, carry around in, like, a little thing of dirt. As you collect this-this bit of the plant, you three continue to make your way down the road, towards adventures ahead of you. And that's where we're gonna end today.
[the cast cheers]
[xylophone chime]
Thomas:
This episode of Tales from Grevelon is dedicated to the memory of Daniel Zuzworsky, a man with the kindest heart, keenest mind, and the greatest powers of storytelling. Daniel was a dear and incredible friend and Dungeon Master, and he truly knew how to connect with everyone he met. I and so many other would not be the storytellers we are today without him. He will be missed.
[cheerful, upbeat music]
Nicole:
Thank you for listening to Tales from Grevelon. Ash is played by Talya Shatzky. Lenral is played by Katie Siegel. Paatarak is played by Samkit Siyal. With Thomas Pflanz as our Tale Keeper. And I’m Nicole. Hi!
If you enjoy the show and want to help it grow, please take a minute and leave a kind review on the Apple Podcasts app. If you do, Thomas won’t steal your bread and butter.
For more Tales From Grevelon, check out @DearLiisphyra on TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter. You can also join The Chattering Grove discord. The link to that is in the description. Or don’t, live your life. Bye!
[music ends]