320

Base Price: $1 per sq. in.

Field Notes:

Under the authority of a king in Europe, there is land in California, owned and private today, that was taken from Californians and given to friends of the throne. It’s wild to think of the history behind some of the barbed wire we see all over the coast here. I don’t blame anyone. I’d have accepted any land they offered me as well, and to be honest, it’s not hard to imagine what these pristine lands would look like if the gates were open to us all. Pack your trash and leave no trace is truly some sort of elitist psuedo hippy mumbo jumbo now. I’d rather be kept out of some places than to allow myself and everyone else to trample nature into a twisted banal backdrop for the drama of humanity’s less noble urges. Still though, when I see the signs telling me to stay out, I bristle at the royal throne, whose guilded vanity was built on the backs of those like me, just getting by in the world, working for another meal for our kids, and ourselves if there’s enough. But under all these layers of understanding, it is clear we have lost something. Maybe we’ll never know just what, but a reckoning will come sooner or later.

I slowly enjoyed a beer when I finished this one, under the watching eye of the drone that flew repeated laps out to see and back again, right up to the van, I thought it might fly in at one point. I even looked for something reasonable to throw at it, if it tried that again. It never did, but the world keeps going forward and the throne is always thirsty for more. It wants all that it’s eyes can see, and now it has eyes everywhere. Enjoy your quiet moments while you can, a day of reckoning will come sooner or later.

 I guess we’ll just cross that bridge when we get to it.

TRAVEL COSTS

105

Distance from Humboldt: $15 per county

75

Overnight Travel Required: $75

50

Sleeping in Van Required: $50

Tricky Urban Van Camping Required: $25

ON THE GROUND LOGISTICS COSTS

Paid Parking: Cost of Parking

Illegal or Questionable Parking Required: $50

Parking Ticket Incurred: Cost of Ticket

Private Land: $50

Posted No Trespassing: $100

Harassed by Authorities and/or Told to Leave: $150

Citation Incurred:  Cost of Citation

Fence/Gate Hopping: $50

Barbed Wire: $50

Blood: $50

Hauling Gear on Foot: $25 per mile

Off Trail Wilderness Tromping Required: $15

Climbing or Vertical Scrambling Requiring Use of Hands: $25

Full On Bushwhacking: $75

Poison Oak Observed: $15

Ticks Observed on Skin or Clothing: $25 each

Tick Bites: $150 each

Bee/Wasp/Insect Stings: $25

Wind Speed: $10 per mile per hour over 10mph

50

Lack of Shade: $50

25

Heat/Cold: $5 per degree over 70/ under 50

50

Excessive Public Conversations/Distractions: ranges from $25-$150

Other:

DISCOUNTS:

Able to Paint View from Back of Van: Subtract $50

Private Land With Permission (Your Land):  Subtract $250

Cold Beer and/or Snacks Delivered During or After Paint Session: Subtract $50

Fun Surf at Location Before or After Painting: Subtract $50

Room and Board for 1 week during a paint tour of your area: Subtract Everything!

TOTAL