Unrealistic Expectations Worksheet

Here are some general unrealistic expectations from different pylons of life. Check the boxes that suit you the best.

• Life should be fair
• My partner doesn't love me enough
• Everyone is supposed to like me
• The right opportunity will come to me
• Success equals happiness
• Financial well-being equals happiness
• People have to recognize your worth
• I have to appease everyone around me
• You have to always agree with your partner
• Friends are always there for you
• No arguing is a sign of a healthy relationship

Now think of some healthier beliefs that are more realistic.

Example: If I recognize my worth is enough and fulfilling. Others' opinions are not mandatory for me to believe in myself.

What unrealistic expectations do you bear for yourself? Give 2-3 examples.

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What unrealistic beliefs do you hold for others? Give 2-3 examples.

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How do you react when things don't go your way? How do you feel at that exact moment? Give 2-3 specific examples.

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How was your mental health affected because of your limiting beliefs? Give 2 examples.

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Establishing new realistic expectations

Starting from the fact that we can only control our perspective or behavior toward the outside world, you need to be willing to take accountability for your actions and thoughts and adapt yourself to the present. If you are ready to change, you're ready to improve your life.

1. Write down as many unrealistic expectations as you can think of. It will give you a clearer view of your starting point.

2. Re-write them in a healthy, realistic way. This will teach your mind to embrace a more positive, down-to-earth approach.

3. Admit that you sometimes make errors and take responsibility.

4. Be careful when you compare yourself to others or to who you compare yourself. It is ok to have mentors and learn from them but setting a high profile might be difficult to meet.

5. Try gratitude. Write every day 5 things you are grateful for. It may sound cliche, but it will keep you grounded.

6. Do one thing at a time. Take your time to make small changes without putting too much pressure on yourself.

7. Remember life is a journey, not a destination.

References

Aurier, P., & Guintcheva, G. (2014). Using Affect–Expectations Theory to Explain the Direction of the Impacts of Experiential Emotions on Satisfaction. Psychology and Marketing, 31(10), 900-913.

You can download more Mental Health worksheets here.

Please note: There may be a more up-to-date and editable version of this worksheet available here which may be more suitable to present to clients if you are a therapist or to use in a classroom as a teacher or guidance counsellor.