Do you know the Ten Commandments in the Bible?  To summarize them, the first five say to honor God, while the next five tell us to honor other people.  In 2023, America has ten “woke” commandments.  Today I will list and explain them.  

1. Go to a park and worship nature.  Worship the grass, trees, and birds.  Bow before them.  
2. Read a banned book.  If you are age 5 - 8, you should read books about sex and gender identity.  
3. Support the right to choose, meaning abortion.  It doesn’t matter if a baby born soft and cute might grow up to become a doctor.  Maybe you made a bad decision when you had sex and got pregnant.  It doesn’t matter if you weren’t responsible enough to have sex   yet.  You just couldn’t wait to have sex.  Abortion should be allowed.
4. Watch real news on TV and read it in newspapers and on the Internet, meaning that you should watch CNN.
5. Don’t spread BS.  If you are going to post something on social media and think that maybe your comment isn’t true, read a fact check from CNN.  CNN is always right.
6. You should express your thoughts, unless your thoughts will offend someone.  Don’t express those thoughts.  Also, don’t express your thoughts if they don’t agree with the liberal [hidden] agenda.  
7. Don’t fear history.  Instead, confront and destroy history.  If you don’t like an American monument or you feel offended by it, just destroy it.  
8. Support reforming gun laws.  Criminals need buns, but guns should be banned for other people.  
9. Say “Gay.”  You should advocate for LGBTQ people.  Maybe go to a drag show.  
10. Trust science.  You should trust hastily developed vaccines.  Also, climate change is real.  The world is going to end in seven years.  Scientists have been wrong for many years, but now they are right.