Eli:

A twenty-something slacker with no job, no money, and no worries. He has a wombat. What more could a man need?

Zander:

A self-employed graphic designer and Eli's roommate. He worries about everything because he should. The world is a dark and scary place.

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The wombat:

An Australian immigrant who rooms with Eli and Zander. Don’t you dare call him a pet. He can’t talk in the real world, but he can say whatever he wants in his karate dojo daydream. He retreats there whenever his apartment gets lame, which is pretty much always.

The sensei:

He trains the wombat in the fantasy world dojo. He claims to be a great karate master, but no one has ever seen him take his hands out of his robes. It's unclear if under those eyebrows he has eyes.

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The pizza guy:

He shows up occasionally, usually when someone needs pizza.

The cop:

He doesn't want to be here. He's sick of your shenanigans. Everyone please settle down so he can go home.

Mr. Bob:

The wombat’s original owner. He sold his furry friend to Eli, then later regretted it. For a while, he was Eli and Zander's mortal enemy. Now he's just an awkward old guy who sometimes makes small talk, which is even worse.

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The ninja:

He fights the wombat and the sensei in a never-ending battle in the dream world. Despite his best efforts, he always loses. You know what they say: If at first you don't succeed, keep battling futily for all of eternity.