Principles for a Productive Dialogue
Consider the following before you reach out to any parent/teacher/administrator/community member with a question, concern or suggestion:
- Credibility of Information. Ask yourself...
- Where did I get this information? Facebook? Online source? Friend? Educator? Is it based on someone saying they “heard” it? Is it opinion or fact? How reliable is the information/source?
- What is the perspective, narrative or possible motivation for the source of the information?
- Is there an emotional component to the topic?
- How confident am I in the validity of the information concerning the topic?
- Am I making assumptions about a topic that require more information?
- Do I have a solid set of concrete facts or possibly just partial information?
- Did I correct or question the person/source who passed along inaccurate information?
- Formulate a question based on understanding the topic more fully.
- Is there additional information or facts that I need in order to verify this information or to fully understand this topic or problem?
- What additional information do I need in order to more fully understand this topic or problem?
- Source and Accuracy
- Where should this conversation begin? Which person is most closely connected to the issue or topic I want to explore?
- Am I talking to the right person?
- Method of Communication
- Am I communicating in the right forum given the particulars of the topic? What is the most effective method to address my question? Does my question require straightforward facts/details/dates, or is it more nuanced?
- What is the best platform to communicate my understanding of the topic (email, phone call, face-to-face meeting, etc.)?
- Establish a clear goal or objective for the dialogue or meeting (in email or face-to-face).
- The purpose of this email/meeting is to __________.
- By the end of this meeting, we will have a better understanding of __________.
- What would make this meeting a productive or successful one?
- In face-to-face meetings or phone conversations, be mindful of the basic rules of active listening and productive communication.
- Restate the purpose or goal of the conversation or meeting.
- At periodic points in the discussion, re-express the other person’s main point, position, logic, critical facts, etc.
- “I heard you say _______.”
- “From what I heard you say, the main take-away is ________.”
- Allow the other person to (re)clarify their position/facts/main ideas if they feel you missed the point.
- Periodically, list points of agreement, reiterate the goal of the conversation or what you have learned (so far).
- State what you have learned from the person with whom you are talking.
- Accordingly, given the goals of the conversation/meeting -- What concrete action would you like to be taken?
- Ask the other person to re-express “what they heard you say” (see b).
- Identify and agree with the next steps to be taken.
- At all times, listen to understand and not merely to respond. Discussions are not debates or arguments won by a point system, but they are a method to communicate so a problem can be resolved in order for students to be successful.
- Avoid at all times -- sarcasm, derision, threats, ultimatums, or any other aggressive language that diminishes trust.
- At all times -- communicate to enhance trust.