S03 - E09 - Jan 20, 2019

What is it?

Etiquette is the established way one should act in polite society based on the social norms of the time
Etymology

This ticket referred to a soldier’s ticket
Used to denote an order issued to a soldier entitling him to quarters with a certain person

“To the French we owe the word etiquette, and it is amusing to discover its origin in the commonplace familiar warning--"Keep off the grass." It happened in the reign of Louis XIV, when the gardens of Versailles were being laid out, that the master gardener, an old Scotsman, was sorely tried because his newly seeded lawns were being continually trampled upon. To keep trespassers off, he put up warning signs or tickets--etiquettes--on which was indicated the path along which to pass. But the courtiers paid no attention to these directions and so the determined Scot complained to the King in such a convincing manner that His Majesty issued an edict commanding everyone at Court to "’keep within the etiquettes.’”

A Brief History

Celebrated things like truthfulness, self-control, and kindness towards other people
Argued that avoiding conflict is not a sign of weakness because it is an acknowledgement that human knowledge is imperfect

“Never do to others what you would not like them to do to you.”
“Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated.”
Unfortunately, this collection of knowledge is highly flawed and therefore controversial, a lot of it compiled after his death

Middle class becomes obsessed with learning etiquette so to climb the ladder and join the social elite
Also emerges many comics mocking the outlandishness of etiquette extremes

In the late 1700’s, according to the British Parliament, no woman could “betray into matrimony any of His Majesty’s subjects by the scents, paints, cosmetics, washes, artificial teeth, false hair, Spanish wool, iron stays, hoops, high-heeled shoes, bolstered hips” or she’d be charged with witchcraft and more.

“When walking on the street do not permit yourself to be so absent-minded as to fail to recognize your friends. Walk erect and with dignity, and do not go along reading a book or a newspaper.”
“Your arm should not be given to any lady except your wife or a near relative, or a very old lady, during the day, unless her comfort or safety require it. At night the arm should always be offered; also in ascending the steps of a public building.”
“In crossing the street, a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above her ankle with one hand. To raise the dress with both hands is vulgar, except in places where the mud is very deep.”

But why did this develop? For what purpose?

“Whenever the same movements of the features or body express the same emotions in several distinct races of man, we may infer with much probability, that such expressions are true ones,—that is, are innate or instinctive.”
Finds that the looks for disgust and shame were observed even in babies and the blind

Don’t Look, Don’t Touch: The Science Behind Revulsion (2013) - Director of the Environmental Health Group at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine

Takes Darwin’s observations further
Argues humans disgusted by the same things
Etiquette evolved as a way to help us avoid the disgusting
In society, you either read cues correctly and are rewarded by your group or you don’t and you’re shunned (possibly leading to death by plague in harsher times if you weren’t disgusted by bodily fluids)
Also, the better you read cues, the faster you can adapt to what the group wants, making yourself more valuable
Original etiquette covered things like cleanliness and, before modern medicine, an unclean person could easily transfer dirt and sickness to the tribe

Therefore humans had to develop a way to shun those that were potentially dangerous to the survival of the species

References