S03 - E09 - Jan 20, 2019
Etiquette
What is it?
- Etiquette is the established way one should act in polite society based on the social norms of the time
- Etymology
- 1740/1750 - first use of etiquette in the way we know it now (French)
- Comes from the Old French - label, ticket
- This ticket referred to a soldier’s ticket
- Used to denote an order issued to a soldier entitling him to quarters with a certain person
- Famous for controlling the rich through adherence to etiquette
- “To the French we owe the word etiquette, and it is amusing to discover its origin in the commonplace familiar warning--"Keep off the grass." It happened in the reign of Louis XIV, when the gardens of Versailles were being laid out, that the master gardener, an old Scotsman, was sorely tried because his newly seeded lawns were being continually trampled upon. To keep trespassers off, he put up warning signs or tickets--etiquettes--on which was indicated the path along which to pass. But the courtiers paid no attention to these directions and so the determined Scot complained to the King in such a convincing manner that His Majesty issued an edict commanding everyone at Court to "’keep within the etiquettes.’”
A Brief History
- Every culture of every time period has rules of etiquette
- They only become more elaborate as time goes on
- We get things from afternoon tea etiquette to how to properly use silverware
- Egypt
- The Maxims of Ptahhotep (2375–2350 BCE) (TAH HO TEP)
- Celebrated things like truthfulness, self-control, and kindness towards other people
- Argued that avoiding conflict is not a sign of weakness because it is an acknowledgement that human knowledge is imperfect
- Chinese educator and thinker
- Famous for his teachings from Analects (AN AL ECTX)
- “Never do to others what you would not like them to do to you.”
- “Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated.”
- Unfortunately, this collection of knowledge is highly flawed and therefore controversial, a lot of it compiled after his death
- Baldassare Castiglione (1478–1529) (BALDA SAR’RE CASTI LI OWN E)
- Italian courtier and diplomat
- Famous for writing The Book of the Courtier (1528)
- Written as a dialogue discussion of what makes the ideal courtier
- Graceful behavior
- Humor
- Honorable love
- How to talk to one’s prince (frankly, not flattery)
- From this point, the written codes and works explode
- The Enlightenment (18th C)
- Middle class becomes obsessed with learning etiquette so to climb the ladder and join the social elite
- Also emerges many comics mocking the outlandishness of etiquette extremes
- In the late 1700’s, according to the British Parliament, no woman could “betray into matrimony any of His Majesty’s subjects by the scents, paints, cosmetics, washes, artificial teeth, false hair, Spanish wool, iron stays, hoops, high-heeled shoes, bolstered hips” or she’d be charged with witchcraft and more.
- Arguably the height of etiquette complexity
- Etiquette for everything, including walking
- “When walking on the street do not permit yourself to be so absent-minded as to fail to recognize your friends. Walk erect and with dignity, and do not go along reading a book or a newspaper.”
- “Your arm should not be given to any lady except your wife or a near relative, or a very old lady, during the day, unless her comfort or safety require it. At night the arm should always be offered; also in ascending the steps of a public building.”
- “In crossing the street, a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above her ankle with one hand. To raise the dress with both hands is vulgar, except in places where the mud is very deep.”
But why did this develop? For what purpose?
- The prevailing theory
- Charles Darwin
- Expression of the Emotions (1872)
- “Whenever the same movements of the features or body express the same emotions in several distinct races of man, we may infer with much probability, that such expressions are true ones,—that is, are innate or instinctive.”
- Finds that the looks for disgust and shame were observed even in babies and the blind
- Argued this indicates disgust and shame are innate
- Don’t Look, Don’t Touch: The Science Behind Revulsion (2013) - Director of the Environmental Health Group at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine
- Takes Darwin’s observations further
- Argues humans disgusted by the same things
- Etiquette evolved as a way to help us avoid the disgusting
- In society, you either read cues correctly and are rewarded by your group or you don’t and you’re shunned (possibly leading to death by plague in harsher times if you weren’t disgusted by bodily fluids)
- Also, the better you read cues, the faster you can adapt to what the group wants, making yourself more valuable
- Original etiquette covered things like cleanliness and, before modern medicine, an unclean person could easily transfer dirt and sickness to the tribe
- Therefore humans had to develop a way to shun those that were potentially dangerous to the survival of the species
References