I FIND I’m RAW:
Let yourself be raw! Discover the truth through being raw and let natural understanding arise. I FIND: See what’s there. I’m RAW: Identify with choice.
Do this when you feel strong emotions/stuckness.
Do this alone or with someone you have an interested, trusting relationship you'd like to grow.
First person to run through FIND first, then RAW second. This allows the emotional upsets to be laid out by both first.
After the raw truths are on the table then conversation can begin. Hopefully with the resentments in awareness the conversation can be real. If necessary the process can be repeated as new ‘feelings’ are created by the sharing. Keep going until you feel complete.
The first step is about reaching inside and bringing out what's really there, with pure, unfiltered emotion.
I: “I.... (Every statement begins with an ‘I’…)
F: “Feel... ...disappointed, pissed off, worried…
I “Imagine... ...you don’t care,... just want to do your own thing… hopeless…
N: “Need… ...cooperation and communication. You to come. Understanding.
D: “Don’t… ...want you to go… like your advice… want us to…
The second step is about acknowledging truth and digging a little deeper into the pain, with human perspective.
I’m: “I’m (Every statement begins with an ‘I’m’…)
R “Realising... ….you did say… and I snapped….you probably also feel...
A “Appreciating… ...you for saying…myself for… this situation for… ...this cuppa!
W “Wanting… ...to have more honesty / time together / time apart… etc.
“I-Feel annoyed and disappointed that you are saying x and not doing x. I feel really hurt. “
“I-Imagine that this is hopeless. I imagine that you knew all along and didn’t tell me.”
“I-Need you to communicate more clearly and also to commit when you say you will.”
“I-Don’t want to feel like we are going round and round. I don’t like being told one thing…”
“I’m-Realising that I can’t trust you. I’m realising that I’m catastrophizing, bus also that I’m sad.”
“I’m-Appreciating that you’re here, that you spoke to me calmly yesterday. That you love me and I love me, as I am”.
“I’m-Wanting ease and to feel loved. I’m wanting us both to commit to our plans.“