Fear Setting - WORST / BEST
"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality" - Seneca
“Easy Choices = hard life. Hard Choices = easy life.” - Jerzy Gregorek
Reducing your fears is a cognitive and then a physical process. We must first understand the depth of our fear and then we must take bold action to disprove the mental worries. First let’s break the fear down into its components.
The emergency method is to consider the WORST and BEST cases, by asking these questions:
W: Worries in the worst case scenarios? What will happen. Dig deep to discover.
O: OK? (0 kills) Would you ‘survive’ if that did happen? How might you recover from that setback?
R: Reality check - How likely is the worst case, really?
S: Stay put? What are the likely costs of inaction?
T: Tactics / Training: What could you try to reduce the likelihood of this happening. Could you train a new skill?
B: Benefits: What’s the best case scenario? The Benefits?
E: Examples: Have I seen anyone do this? Have ‘I’ actually done this before?
S: Strategy / Sequence of actions: How can I plan for this, specifically?
T: Timing: If not now, then when?
Then take bold action!
Fear Setting: Quarterly Challenge
The regular method is to stay on top of our fears I suggest assigning a 20 minutes meeting with yourself to go through something you’ve been putting off, or would like to do. Do every 3 months.
Intention: To look at not only the risks and costs of action, but also the risks and costs of inaction.
What is the thing you are wanting to do?
I WANT…(Eg. To meet an amazing partner…)
Take this one intention and go through the next 4 steps.
1. Fears! What if....
Take time to go through at least 5 ‘what if’ statements.
DEFINE (what I am afraid of)
RECOVER (what I can do if the worst case happens)
Eg. I get rejected again and hurt
Eg. I could rehearse rejection to overcome the hurt
Eg. I could have a cry, talk to freinds.
In the history of time has anyone less intelligent figured this out?
2. Desired Benefits. What might be the benefits of an attempt or partial success?
(If you really go for what you want, what might happen, wider impacts and what might you feel?)
3. Costs. What are the likely cost of inaction?
(Emotionally, Physically Financially, Socially, etc)
6 months - 1 year
Eg. I will have to get another job
I will feel like a failure, humiliated!
Eg. I will give up on the life I want
4. Likely result of taking action
How likely is it that you will get what you want IF you take the risk and take actions?
(to be willing to feel discomfort, embarrassment, pain? If you bought the lottery ticket of life?)
Eg. 75%. I reckon if I put myself out there, by the action of....
(allow yourself to be optimistic, realistic or cynical - it’s your choice!)
Neil Morbey (Inspired by Tim Ferris) 2018