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Tell Johnny to Go Fuck Himself SOP
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Tell Johnny to Go Fuck Himself SOP

Our ridiculous founder and CEO, Johnny.

Author/Date

By Johnny Lasater on 10/13/21.

You Need to Tell Johnny to Go Fuck Himself

After you’ve been here for 30ish days, we expect you to go through the mandatory initiation ritual of telling our founder and CEO Johnny to, “Go Fuck Himself.”

You can be as creative as you want, as mean as you want, or anything else.

But you need to do it.

Why On Earth Do You Do This?

  1. It’s fun
  2. Do you really not want to tell Johnny to go fuck himself?
  3. Because he wants you to remember that he is only human, and not infallible
  1. He wants you to push back on him when he's wrong, and to not give him deference just because he's the big boss
  2. The way we get to the right decisions is by having many brains working on the problem - he is not a paragon of wisdom and is perfectly capable of being wrong
  1. If you don’t correct him, then we might make some very expensive mistakes

Don't be shy. Everyone else has had to do it, and now it's your turn. Johnny tracks who has said it to him, and he'll get upset at you, if you don't do it.

How Do I Do It?

It doesn’t have to be fancy. If you don't interact with him regularly, then send him an email or a video or something else. It doesn’t matter, but please make sure he knows that he should definitely Go Fuck Himself. See examples below.

Is This a Real SOP?

You’re goddamned right.

Examples

From Anderson

Video

From Anne

From Leah

Hey Johnny, happy Monday! Don’t forget to go FUCK YOURSELF. It’s humbling. Besides, If you live life without someone telling you to go fuck your self, are you really even living?

From Juan

https://vimeo.com/631139752/67449dd8dd

From Rodney

Just want to take a moment to thank everyone for making JLS a fun place to be, thanks to Jed and John for their support and helping me through the onboarding process, and to Johnny, fuck you very much for creating such a unique environment and also fuck you very much for investing so much time in effort to help us all be better people.

From Nikki

From Homarya

Video (plus a link to a Rick Roll in the email)

Bryson

Video

The sky is the limit. Express yourself to your heart’s content. I promise I won’t be offended… unless you don’t tell me to go fuck myself.

Thank you very much!

Johnny