Tips to help with your mental health #1 - Self-Care

Self Care is not Selfish!

Since becoming a therapist over thirteen years ago, I’ve seen many hundreds of clients for counselling or psychotherapy sessions.  Alongside whatever issue brings them to therapy, one thing that many have in common is that they’re also struggling with their self-care. Now this doesn’t mean that they come in all dirty and disheveled, but just that they’re not prioritising themselves.  This is a big problem for many people in our society today, not just those coming to therapy.  Prioritising yourself is often seen as selfish and labelled as a negative personality trait. People often believe they should be focussing on others rather than themselves.  However, I argue that without a good, healthy level of self-care, eventually you’ll be so worn down or burned out that you will be of no help to anyone else.  

Remember the last time you flew on a plane and the crew are doing the safety drill.  They specify that if oxygen masks fall from the ceiling, you attach yours first before helping others.  This is so you don’t pass out in an attempt to help someone else and cause more problems for others.  It’s the same with self-care - secure your oxygen mask first, look after yourself first otherwise sooner or later you will cause bigger problems for someone else.    

How does lack of self-care present in therapy?

When clients come into a counselling or psychotherapy session lacking in self-care alongside whatever their presenting issue may be, you may like to imagine it as a downward spiral. The lower someone feels or the more preoccupied their mindset, the harder it is for them to focus on their self-care.  Then the less focus on their self-care, the more people struggle with mood, emotions, thinking ability and self-esteem and so they feel more emotionally impacted, more preoccupied and the cycle continues.  

Admittedly, yes, focusing on self-care can be very tough when you’re feeling low or overwhelmed. So don’t be afraid to enlist the help of your loved ones to help you.

But what do we mean by self-care?

Like I mentioned earlier, lacking self-care isn’t just about walking around looking dishevelled and scruffy.  There are many aspects to basic self-care which we look at below.  However these things are not just important for those struggling with their mental health but something everyone may find helpful to aspire towards.

Eating healthily - Are you getting a good amount of healthy calories and getting enough vitamins and nutrients from your food?

Drinking healthily - Are you drinking at least two liters of water per day and avoiding alcohol? (Remember alcohol is a depressant)

Getting the correct amount of sleep - Many people who struggle with their mental health have too little or too much sleep.  Try to aim for around 8 hours.

Fresh air - Get out at least once a day for a short walk and some fresh air.  Try to avoid being distracted by your phone and focus instead on your surroundings whilst taking some deep breaths of fresh air.

Exercise - Physical exercise is so helpful in many aspects of life, particularly when you’re struggling with your mental health.  Obviously exercise within your health limit but cardio work such as jogging, fast walking, cycling, swimming and sports can all help a lot.  If you’re struggling with anger, a weights workout or boxing class can do you the world of good!

Personal Hygiene - Try to shower and wash regularly as well as wear clean clothes.  Feeling clean can do wonders for your mental state.  And don’t forget to clean your teeth, again it can improve the way you feel about yourself significantly.

Having a comfortable living space - If your home is in a dirty, messy or disorganised state, it can be hard to relax and feel comfortable at home.  Enlist the help of a loved one to help you organise or clean your living area and you may find yourself feeling slightly better in your safe space.

As I mentioned earlier, these things may seem difficult or even impossible to someone who is significantly struggling with their mental health, so even if you just try a few of these self-care tips to begin with then it can make a big difference to how you feel. And if you’re going to therapy, make sure you discuss self-care with your therapist and make it a focus of some of your sessions.

Self-care can also be about taking time to indulge in hobbies, interests or past times.  However remember to avoid unhealthy pursuits such as drinking alcohol, gambling, taking drugs, smoking or unhealthy eating.  Although these may feel like self-care at the time as they provide an escapism from day to day life, ultimately they are not going to make you feel any better about yourself.

There are many other methods of self-care which are more down to the individual, for example your work / life balance, taking a relaxing bath, going for a massage, going on holiday, or simply reading a book or listening to music. We’ll look more at other methods of self-care as we explore more mental health tips in future articles!

Further Help

If you or a loved one is feeling in need of psychological or emotional support, or if you’re struggling with a mental health issue, please feel free to reach out to us.  Here at West London Counselling, Psychotherapy and Hypnotherapy Services we have a team of experienced, professionally accredited therapists who can work with you face to face at any of our London practices or if you live outside the London area, we can work with you online via Zoom.  For more information, please see our website or email us at info@londontherapyservices.co.uk 

And remember….