A TINY ISLAND SKY
__________________
A tragi-comedy in two acts
by Maybelle Patterson
Characters:
O……………………………………………… She/they. 20s. Naïve, with a sharp wit to hide it. Deeply, inextricably in love with the world, but still oblivious to that fact. TODD’s ex.
Elaine ……………………………………… She/her. 30s. Believes herself morally wrong, and because of it, believes strongly in the power of people, the government, and society to be morally correct.
Todd………………………………………… He/him. 30s. Always trying to save himself. Would push anyone into an active volcano if it meant he didn’t fall. Serial liar. O’s ex.
A desert island. It is small, it is hot, there is one palm tree with one coconut. It is surrounded on all sides by water, deep and unknowable, but right now, the water hasn’t encroached too far on the island’s borders.
O bursts from the water, gasping. A beautiful siren for a second, then a bedraggled mess clawing desperately for dry land. She breathes heavily. They drag themself successfully onto the stage before ELAINE bursts in from the other side, experiencing the same range of emotions. After they have both coughed up enough water, they glance at each other.
O/ELAINE
Ahhh!
O
Who the fuck / are you?
ELAINE
Who are / you?
O
Me?? Me ask — I asked / first!
ELAINE
“I asked first” – that is so childish!
O
Child? I’m a child?
ELAINE
Yeah!
O
I’m the child?
ELAINE
Yes!
O
No, a child would refuse to tell me their name –
ELAINE
Elaine!
O
– that’s what a child would do – what?
ELAINE
Elaine.
O
Oh.
ELAINE
Yeah.
O
Sorry –
ELAINE
It’s ok, just –
O
Yeah, sorry, that was a bit passionate / I guess…
ELAINE
Yeah, a bit…
O
O.
ELAINE
What?
O
My name.
ELAINE
O?
O
Yeah.
ELAINE
Just O?
O
Yes!
ELAINE
Sorry.
O
It’s fine. I get it a lot.
ELAINE
Yeah, that makes sense.
O
She/they pronouns.
ELAINE
Ohhh. Okay. Uh, “she”.
O
Okay.
ELAINE
And … “her”?
O
Might as well!
ELAINE
Yeah.
An awkward silence.
O
I like your shirt.
ELAINE
Thanks. I’ve always thought it was a bit, like, blouse-y.
O
No!
ELAINE
No?
O
Well, yes.
ELAINE
Okay.
O
In a good way!
ELAINE
Right.
O
It’s … professional.
ELAINE
(sincerely)
Thanks.
Another awkward silence.
ELAINE (cont.)
Do you know where we are?
O
No.
ELAINE
Oh.
O
Why would I?
ELAINE
I don’t know, I just hoped, I guess.
O
I don’t have, like, GPS implants.
ELAINE
I know, I just… maybe we can narrow it down.
O
Looks pretty narrow to me.
ELAINE
The wave hit me in New York, so close to that?
O
Does it matter?
ELAINE
Of course!
O
(mocking)
“Of course!”
ELAINE
I thought we were past that.
O
Yeah, sorry.
…
But it doesn’t matter.
ELAINE
Of course it – why are you fighting me on this!
O
I’m being realistic!
ELAINE
You’re being a bitch!
O
Wow.
ELAINE/O
Sorry.
ELAINE
No, I’m –
O
It’s okay.
…
ELAINE
I’m just trying to lighten the mood.
O
I know.
ELAINE
We need to keep our hopes up.
O
I know!
ELAINE
Okay!
O
It’s just – there’s no point.
ELAINE
Please don’t / say that.
O
We don’t know where we are, so nobody else knows where we are, so nobody’s coming anywhere close to where we are!
ELAINE
Then let’s make an SOS, like…………………………thing.
O can’t believe the sun sickness has set in so soon.
ELAINE (cont.)
What? So we can be seen from above.
From helicopters.
O
Whose helicopters?
ELAINE
The Army’s.
O
Right.
ELAINE
Or the coast guard, the police –
O
Gee, Officer Krupkee!
ELAINE
– the… the fire department, I don’t know!
O
I think the fire department is busy.
ELAINE
But –
O
With, like, the apocalypse.
ELAINE
The New York fire department responds to 300,000 fires / a year –
O
They aren’t going to hose down the fucking ocean!
ELAINE
Fine!
…
I’m still making an SOS.
…
For the Army.
O
Out of what?
ELAINE
I don’t know, okay! It’s just what you do.
…
…
ELAINE looks around, then starts to draw giant SOS letters in the sand.
O
(awkwardly)
So… what do you do?
ELAINE
Seriously?
O
I just… I don’t know, just answer!
ELAINE
…
I’m a reporter.
O
That’s cool.
ELAINE
It must be “did,” right?
O
What?
ELAINE
What “did” you do.
O
Oh. Past tense.
ELAINE
No way we’re going back on Monday.
O
At least you wouldn’t have to wait for an elevator. You could just swim down the stairs.
ELAINE
What did you do?
O
Oh, I’m super unemployed.
ELAINE
Almost better. Less to lose.
O
I still had a life.
An awkward silence.
ELAINE
Where were you? When the wave hit?
O
At the movies. Being unemployed.
ELAINE
Oh.
A TINY ISLAND SKY, 2024, Patterson