Chapter Eleven
Botan rested against her cell bars and called out to one of the guards.
“Do you have a cigarette by chance? I’ll trade you for one.”
The guard merely grunted and leaned against the wall of the cell bloc. Botan mimicked the gesture. She hated all this free time. Time to think about everything she could possibly think about. It was times like these when she remembered why, even after six months in the Basin, she didn’t discharge from military life. Deployment to the front line was much like a spider’s web: once you got stuck to it, it never released you. Thrashing about only served to tie the knots that much tighter and all one can do is sit quietly wherever they might be and not worry about the impending doom. Botan got up and began to walk forward and back in her cell.
It’s just nicotine cravings… she rationalized nothing but a need for nicotine…
It wasn’t the case, but what good would acknowledging it do? What good would seeing the root cause do? She clutched her chest and began to inhale and exhale rapidly, almost as though the effort of trying to keep a lid on the boiling pot was causing a physical toll on her body. She went to the cell door again.
“Officer, please. I’d really, really appreciate a smoke. I’m no criminal, I’m just waiting out the witness testimonies. I haven’t even been formally charged. Please can I have a smoke?”
“No.” he said curtly “Go bother someone else.”
She bit her tongue, trying desperately not to groan in frustration. She began to pace again, fighting with all her mental might against the intrusive thoughts that came in flashes. Gunsmoke. A muddy battlefield. A dead body of a man she saw alive just once on guard duty. Every contour of his face, the color of his eyes, the sickly paleness of his skin, the gentle, faded scar on his chin, all carved into her mind more permanently than the memory of her own mother. She didn’t even know his name. Her hyperventilating became so loud she could hear it and the sweat began to pour from her like a river. She removed her cap and sat down. Something, anything to distract from these memories. She put herself down on both knees over the toilet, shoved her hand in her mouth, and forced vomit up from her stomach, focusing heavily on the bile as it seared the inner lining of her throat. Anything, even vomiting, was better than reminiscing on those six months. Perhaps Sora getting dishonorably discharged would be a mercy.
Sora stood guard with Civa outside the academy. It was every cadet’s least favorite chore seconded only to latrine duty. But even latrine duty seemed better than standing at the gate, as still as could be, while snow fell from the sky in thick sheets. While it was certainly no blizzard, it was only a few literal degrees removed from one. The cold winter air bellowed against Civia’s face and even Sora, with her reinforced coat, still felt the cold starting to seep down through every gap. It was all-encompassing and all-consuming, doubly so due to the clouds concealing the sun. Of all days for guard duty, few were worse for it than today. Civia used every muscle she had to keep herself from shivering and both anxiously monitored the clock that was just in their view from a window on the second floor. As was procedure, every ten minutes one of the two would patrol the entire perimeter of the building, rejoicing in how the movement gave warmth to their ever-frigid bones. For their guard duty, both would only see a total of three laps around the campus, yet the cold made every minute excruciating and the longer it went, the worse it became. Finally, relief came when two cadets came to replace them. Handing the reinforcements their rifles, they both ran back into the warmth and safety of the academy and then to the cafeteria for some hot chocolate. The one saving grace about winter guard duty was being earmarked for a free cup of hot chocolate at the end of a shift, a rare luxury and worth more than gold. She and Civia sat at the lunch table, basking in the warmth as their skin began to dethaw. Sora let out a long sigh.
“I hate those stupid guard rotations…”
Civia snorted with laughter.
“Makes you almost want to throw yourself into an enemy bayonet…”
“No kidding…” she said, stretching her shoulders a bit and burning her tongue on the hot chocolate
“The O-SAT is tomorrow. You ready for it?”
Sora hunched over with a tired look in her eyes.
“I never want to study for another test again…”
Civia chuckled and blew on her hot chocolate.
“We’ve got one more after this and that’ll only be a month away.”
“Ugh I know… don’t remind me…” she sat up again “Then we’ll…”
“Be shipping off… how do you feel about that?”
“No idea. I guess it depends on where I get assigned.”
She began to think about Botan again. She hadn’t seen her in a few days. What was going on? Was she mad at her? What would cause her to suddenly stop doing lessons?
“What about you?” she asked, eager to take her mind from the subject
“I still don’t know what I want to specialize in. Maybe I’m just not cut out for specialization at all.” she sighed “Maybe I’ll just take a grunt position…”
“You can do that?”
“Of course. I mean nobody ever does, but it’s not against the rules to refuse fast-track promotion.” she shrugged “I mean… what’s so great about being an officer anyway?”
Sora rested her hand on her chin.
“The pay?”
Civia scoffed.
“I suppose.”
The door opened to reveal Noel, her face stern as ever.
“Listen up!” she said loudly “All members of class 478 report immediately to room 114. It’s time for the O-SAT. Those present will have seating assignments.”
Civia and Sora jumped to their feet, rushing down the hall and up the stairs to the exam room. Inside it was gray, lifeless, and boring, just as she’d come to expect from the military. She looked around for her spot, taking her seat at the far end of the third row. Anxiety began to ravage her as she sat there and waited for Watame to address them. She had drilled all the information into her head a million and one times over by now, yet she still felt as though she was in for a massive F. She looked around to see three other NCOs patrolling the desks, no doubt attempting to catch would-be cheaters. It only served to heighten her anxiety. She stared down at her solid metal desk, wanting to seem as meek and inconspicuous as she could be.
“All cadets listen carefully.” Watame said “This is the O-SAT, the first of two tests that will determine not only if you graduate, but also where you will be placed. It’s important to try your best not only to pass but to get the best position you want. Those who do well will have far more options than those who don’t. You will have an hour and a half to finish the test. When you are done, you will put them inside the box right beside the door. When the test is done, you’re all being given the rest of the day off, as well as tomorrow for Christmas. Any questions?”
The room stood silent yet the anxious energy filled the room like a marching band roaming down the center of it.
“Good. Then you may begin.”
The tests were handed out one after the other and Sora put her head down, examining each and every question. Some answers she knew so well she could recite them while blindfolded. Many, however, seemed to allude her. Not helping matters was her still shaky literacy, a fact made only more apparent in the complex wording of each question.
Please write down each mechanism in a modern rifle that is responsible for the propulsion of the bullet:
Mechanism…? she thought to herself Propulsion? What on earth did any of that mean? she began to sweat, feeling the pressure mount steadily across her shoulders. Next question…
Please describe the standard form when defending against a bayonet coming from above:
Sora gripped her head with one hand G…guard? Parry? UGH! she cursed in her mind What on earth were the names? I know how to do it what were the names?!
Sora continued line by line, question by question and her heart sank just a bit more each and every time. Was all of her time spent here really for nothing? Each question she couldn’t answer made her feel as though Botan’s faith was misplaced. What would Botan say if she failed? Would she reprimand her? She began to hyperventilate. Why couldn’t she just be good at SOMETHING?
As the clock began to tick down, she picked up her test with the confidence of a kicked dog and placed it in the collection box. It was over. If she didn’t get kicked out, she was surely only fit to be a latrine digger.
Sora knocked on the door to the cavalry barracks and it creaked open to reveal Suisei.
“Is the Warrant Officer in?” Sora asked
She looked apprehensive and slowly opened the door.
“She is but…” she sighed “She’s drunk right now. You might not want to see her.”
Sora looked confused. Last she saw her tipsy was at the party and she was quite gregarious. Suisei put a hand on her shoulder.
“You need to better conduct yourself, Sora.” Suisei said “Botan spent a few days in jail because they were worried you two were having a relationship. I’m not saying you can’t see her anymore; I’m saying you really need to be mindful of how you both act.”
She looked more concerned than ever, pulling back from Suisei’s grip.
“I want to see Botan.”
“Alright…”
Sora walked into the barracks and went straight to Botan’s quarters, finding her on her bunk with a large bottle of whisky in her hand. Her hair was disheveled and messy and her uniform in a similar condition. Its buttons were halfway undone and her pants had a few stains on them. She turned to face Sora with a tired, defeated gaze, one she had never seen Botan adopt. It felt unnerving to look at, seeing the carefree, silly woman she’d spent so much time with look so ragged and beaten down. Her stare displayed only one emotion: complete resignation.
“Botan…? What’s wrong?”
Her entire body twitched, as though the mere thought of whatever it was that was wrong relayed the same effect as touching a hot stove. She took another large, raw swig of whisky straight from the mouth of the bottle.
“I…” she said wearily “Just got out of prison.”
“W-what happened?!”
“In prison…? Nothing… I was in a cell, alone. I didn’t get raped or anything, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Then… why?”
She took another large drink only for Suisei to walk in on them, watching like an older sister supervising her younger siblings.
“I think you should sober up before you two talk.”
Botan let out a soft “tch” and moved her head slowly to the side, saying nothing.
“Should… I come back later…?” Sora asked
“No. But Suisei should, though. Me and Sora need to have a chat.” Botan then gave Suisei a cold glare “Alone, if you don’t mind, Lieutenant.”
She merely let out an exasperated sigh and closed the door behind her. Sora looked deeply worried. What could’ve possibly driven Botan into such a horrible state?
“What’s going on…?”
“I got interrogated… about that mess that you and Fubuki got caught in.” she explained, taking another deep drink “They were concerned I’d tamper with the testimonies so they threw me in jail. You know what they made it out to be? That it was all some sort of degenerate sex voyeurism thing. That we had set Fubuki up and you were trying to be some stripper pervert whore.”
Sora clutched her pantleg tight. How could anyone take such a twisted interpretation of what happened?!
“They haven’t gotten to my testimony yet so… why did they let you out?”
“The Captain got me out.” she sighed “Used some sort of favor somewhere. She wasn’t happy about it though...”
Bota finished off the whisky and threw the bottle at the far side of the wall near a trashcan where three other bottles lay. She couldn’t believe her eyes. For someone to have drunk that much whisky and still be so coherent seemed impossible.
“If… if I can ask, Botan…” she paused “what caused… this? Why did you decide to get drunk?”
“Because I was alone for too long.”
Botan reached under her bunk, pulling out yet another bottle and uncorking it, taking a great big swig.
“Want some?”
She shook her head.
“No. And… maybe you should ease up a little?”
“Shut the hell up, Sora.” she snapped
A look of genuine hurt crossed her face and Botan immediately felt regret.
“Sorry… sorry that was uncalled for… I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.”
“I… I don’t want to see you like this…” she said tearfully
Sora got up only for Botan’s hand to grab her wrist.
“Please stay with me… I won’t drink another sip just… please…”
She nodded, pulled up a chair by the bedside, and sat down. True to her word, Botan recorked the bottle and slid it back beneath the bunk. Sora sat there awkwardly, not knowing what she should or shouldn’t say.
“If… if something happens and it’s you or me…”
“Don’t… don’t say anything like that.” Sora begged “We’ll be fine. I’ll even discharge if I have to, I have way less to lose.”
Botan sighed and sat back against the headboard.
“I wish I wasn’t like this… that I didn’t lo…”
Sora looked down. She felt hurt by the statement yet she knew she felt the very same way.
“Just… promise me that if something happens with this investigation that could land you in jail or worse, pin it all of it on me. I can handle that way better than you.”
“You know I can’t promise that, Botan…” she said, feeling her eyes sting with tears at the thought
She lazily shifted on her side so her back faced Sora and went quiet for a long while.
“You shouldn’t look up to me like you do.”
“But I do… you’re… you’re just so amazing. I want to be just like you, in my own way of course.”
Botan wanted to cry at the sentiment. Just like her? She wouldn’t wish that fate on even her worst enemy.
Sora walked over to the drunk officer, looking both ways to make sure no one was secretly watching, and sat down beside her.
“…Sora?”
She said nothing, opting inside to put her arm around her.
“Sora…” she sighed “Sora we can’t be doing this… if anyone, even Suisei, catches us… it’s over. It’s over for us, for all of it.”
“I’m not afraid…” she whispered
“You should be.”
Botan hoisted herself up, looking at Sora where she lay. She was even more beautiful than what she had remembered. Her eyes seemed to sparkle with an optimism that reminded her so strongly of her youth. They were bright and cheery, they had hope. She couldn’t remember the last she had such an expression on her face.
“Why don’t we do something? Just you and me. I could use a pick me up.” Botan said, wiping her eyes “I shouldn’t be sulking with such good company.”
Sora smiled, sitting up too.
“Are you sober enough?”
Botan stretched hard and yawned.
“I should be. Now come on. If you really think you can handle it, you can ride for me.”
Botan and Sora exited the bunkrooms to find Suisei reading the paper.
“Where are you two off too?”
“We’re going to have some fun. We need to blow off steam.”
Suisei got a look in her eyes as though she wanted to scold her only to scoff and shake her head.
“Fine. Do whatever. I don’t care anymore.” she huffed
Botan rolled her eyes and the two walked out into the cold, hopping on Promise’s saddle. Sora sat in the upper half while Botan took the back.
“If I get a bit too wobbly, you can take over.” she said, her words slightly slurring
“Will do!” she giggled
As they began to trot off, Sora felt a warm happiness rise inside her. Even though the two had really been through hell, they matched each other’s energy in a way that seemed to force happiness out of both of them. Whenever Sora was around, her ceaseless optimism made Botan’s heart soften. It gave her a sense that she could release her burdens.
“Where are we going, anyway?”
“A very, very special place to me. I want it to be a surprise.” Botan explained
“Is it far?”
“Just outside of town. Trust me, it’ll be worth it once you see it.”
Botan guided Promise out to the edges of the town and both of them looked amazed at how well the wall removal was progressing. Each week a massive portion was missing and if it kept up at this pace, the walls would be fully down in just a few months. Where the walls had fallen, artillery cannons had been fully assembled with ten or fifteen feet between them. With their barrels pointed at the sky in unison, it was like looking at something out of a futuristic dream. Anyone dumb enough to try to assail the town would be rendered shell craters before they got within five miles of the place.
“So…” she began, finally beginning to sound sober “I’m guessing the O-SAT was today. How’d you do?”
Sora went quiet, looking down with a sad glance. Botan put her hand on her shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze.
“Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out, ok? And remember, it’s not over yet. You’ve got another test. It won’t be easy, but it’s not impossible to pull yourself out of that hole.”
“Thanks, Botan…” she smiled “I just… I just wish I was good at something…”
“Are you kidding me? Of course you’re good at things. You have an eye so keen, even the Colonel noticed it. That’s hardly nothing, Sora.”
“Yeah, I suppose…”
Botan hugged her from behind and gave her a kiss on the top of her head sending her body into waves of pleasant goosebumps.
“I believe in you, Sora. I know you can do it. We haven’t known each other long, but I picked you for a reason. It wasn’t just because I found you cute.”
They trotted down the path still lightly coated with snow, taking a left when encountering an overturned cart that appeared to have been there for no less than eighty years. Nature had reclaimed most of it, covering it in vines and leaves to give it a strange yet comforting appearance, almost as if marking a grave. They ventured down a series of narrow paths through the forest until, after fifteen minutes, they reached their destination: a small, old hunting cabin on thick wooden stilts. It looked like a child’s treehouse as it stood propped up above the forest floor, impervious to any predators below. The darkness combined with the color of the wood made it near impossible to detect. Had Botan not shown her the way, she’d never have seen it even if she ran right into the tree it was propped up beside. She pulled Promise beside a tree and dismounted, taking Sora’s hand and helping her off then tying the reins to a tree.
“Come on up with me.” Botan said, beginning to ascend the ladder
Sora followed right behind her and the two entered into the hut by way of a thin terrace that led to a door. It was thick and heavy, requiring her to push it open with her full weight against her shoulder as it slowly and loudly slid forward as if weighed down with sacks of cement. The two stepped inside and Botan cast a match against the underside of her boot, putting the flame to a small lantern hanging on the ceiling. Through its dim light, Sora could see a very comfy living space. It offered one long bed with a thick wool comforter, two shelves with various canned goods, a wood stove, and, beside a window, a desk. Everything was a tight fit, yet the lack of room somehow made it more comfortable. Botan sat down on the bed, patting the spot beside her.
“This is a very special place to me. It’s where my father and I used to do hunting trips when I was young. We didn’t do them terribly often, but it was a place I always have fond memories of.”
Sora took a seat beside her.
“I know what you mean… my dad took me hunting sometimes.” she said, smiling as she reminisced “I wasn’t really supposed to be because hunting isn’t for women, but my dad was always very lax on those things.”
“So… hold on. Hunting isn’t for women where you come from, but they let you join the military? That seems strange.”
She clutched the sheet of the bed and sighed.
“This… was a last resort thing. See… in my village, we have a coming-of-age celebration and to attend you have to contribute some kind of feat for the village, big or small.”
Sora paused for a long time as she felt a wound in her heart tearing slightly. Botan put her arm around her and she immediately felt calm. She continued.
“I tried so many things and I failed all of them.” she explained, exasperated “People started calling me Stomme Hoer Sora.”
Botan frowned and held Sora’s hand.
“Should I even ask what that means…?”
“In English it means… Stupid Whore Sora…”
“Oh Sora…” she said sadly
“So…” Sora’s lip quivered “knowing that I still can’t do anything right even when I try so, so hard, I just… I… wanted to do the right thing just once.”
She began to cry in Botan’s shoulder as she slowly rocked her from side to side, rubbing her back.
“Yet… you are good. Amazing even. And I’m not just saying that… remember what you did for Risu? That was incredible. You don’t do that on your own initiative and with no help if you’re stupid or can’t learn anything, Sora. You don’t do that if you’re not good either.”
She wiped her eyes and sniffled.
“Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“You saved someone’s life, Sora. You do have talents. Some of us just aren’t officer material and that’s ok. It doesn’t even exclude you from the cavalry.”
She sniffled again, resting her head on Botan’s shoulder.
“I… I guess you have a point. Thank you, Botan.” she said in a shaky voice “Sorry for breaking down.”
“It’s ok, Sora. It’s nothing to worry about. You can be open with me.”
“I have a question for you, Botan.” she said looking at her with slight worry “Why do you fight?”
“Why do I fight…?”
“Yeah… I mean… you’ve been through so much. You’ve had so much happen to you. How come you don’t discharge?”
Botan leaned back and thought for a long while, carefully contemplating her answer. Sora didn’t know the half of it. She had been in the deepest pits of hell and witnessed all the very worst aspects humanity had to show, some of which she had emulated herself. Finally, she spoke.
“I guess… because people need me. You, Suisei, Iroha… all of you are reminders to me that humanity isn’t just well… evil and cruel. I fight because I want to protect all of you and keep you safe, especially you. I’d lose my position for you, even die if it meant keeping you out of harm. Without people like you, the world is just full of demons and abominations…”
Their eyes met and for a moment there was a connection unlike either had felt, almost as though they could see into each other’s hearts and read what the other was thinking and feeling. Botan leaned in for a kiss and Sora reciprocated. They waited for a long while under the dull lamp, both wanting to be intimate but knowing it could get them in deep trouble. Finally, Botan spoke up. She held both of Sora’s hands in hers.
“Sora… I…” she sighed “Sora you are someone who has given me feelings I never believed were possible. I think about you a lot and well… you understand?”
She looked back at her, almost dazed by the sudden confession. She had been so coy about it before and now she was spilling her heart.
“I do the same… I’ve never… well… I had one crush when I was young but that wasn’t anything serious. With you though it’s like… it’s like everything just feels ok. When I’m with you, I feel ok no matter what.”
Botan smiled down at her and squeezed her hands again.
“When we were at the Halloween party, you and I kissed. But… I got ahead of myself, did things to you I shouldn’t have done. But… you told me that you might be ready for that someday.”
They both went silent for a long time at the implication of the statement. It was a game of chicken and both seemed too anxious to go any further.
“Are you… are you asking me if you want to… you know…”
Botan squeezed her leg, feeling a burning sensation in her heart. It would be the first time she ever had consensual sex.
“Yes. Only if you want it though. If you want, you can tell me no and we can enjoy the night regardless. I won’t hold that over your head.”
Sora looked at her boots for a long time, debating in her mind just how dumb of an idea this was. If they got caught, they’d be in prison for six months at least. Yet Sora’s heart screamed at her that she’d be filled with regret if she didn’t take this chance. She looked at her with determination.
“Yes. I’d… I’d like to do that. But I’ve never had it before… see… in my village, you aren’t permitted sexual relations until you complete your coming of age… so…”
She put a finger on the girl’s lips.
“Don’t stress it. I’ve got lots of experience. We’ll take it nice and easy.”
Botan and Sora locked lips and began to make out. Sora felt a thousand and one feelings as Botan began to disrobe without so much as taking a breath between kisses. She watched her hefty breasts fall out of her bra; her nipples completely solid from the cold. Botan cupped Sora’s breasts, causing her to begin shaking. She pushed her back and Sora held on to her hips, too embarrassed to take a nice, full handful of the heavy milk bags dangling above her. Botan wasted no time, pulling her pants off followed by her panties immediately after. She was hairy, very hairy.
“W-wait… wait.” Sora said, pushing Botan away by her nose to stop her from assaulting her with kisses
“What…?”
“S-sorry just…” she gasped for breath “Is this supposed to be so intense?”
She touched her cheek, rubbing it slightly.
“It can be. A girl’s first time is pretty important. So, I want it to be something you’ll always remember fondly.”
The two began to kiss again before Botan pulled away again.
“Take your shirt off. Not like I haven’t seen those pretty breasts before, hm?” she said with a smile
Sora blushed bright red. It’s hardly the same in this context!
“O-ok…”
She began to disrobe, pulling off her jacket and her bra. She immediately hid both breasts behind her hands, looking at her with the look of an innocent doe. Immediately, Botan could feel her insides opening wide in preparation for what was to come.
“You are so beautiful, Sora… You have no idea…”
They turned back into a long series of kisses and foreplay. Botan eagerly grabbed her inferior’s boobs, squeezing like a child squeezes a new stuffed animal. It felt like she had waited for this moment for years despite it only being a few short months. She gripped it in every which way she could, trying to solidify the feeling deep in her memory. Sora struggled again, pushing back against the woman’s rather forceful advances but Botan was far from the point of control at this point. She continued with little regard for gentleness to Sora. She wanted her bad. She reached down to her belt.
“W-w-wait! Botan! Wait…”
Botan finally came to her senses, stopping before she ripped off the belt.
“J-just… g-give me a minute.” she said with chattering teeth
“Sorry… sorry sweetie.” she said, panting “Got a little ahead of myself there. I need to go slow.”
Sora put her hands over her breasts again, giving her a look of innocence that drove her into a desire so deep she didn’t even realize it was there. She began to unbuckle Sora’s pants again, slowly pulling them down to reveal the grand prize: her beautiful pussy. Botan smiled as she pulled her panties away, taking a long trail of grool with it. As Sora watched her slime be drawn from her, her face went so red it could practically light the room and she looked away in embarrassment. Botan giggled.
“Someone is really happy to see me~” she teased
“Sh-shut up!”
She giggled again and began kissing her stomach a few times.
“Oh, Sora…”
She took one finger and traced the midline of her vagina, leaving her entire finger sticky and wet by the end of it. As she reached her clitoris, the slightest touch caused her to release a long moan and her legs to shiver with excitement. She gently pushed one finger inside, finding a fair bit of resistance even with the impressive amounts of lubrication her body was dumping out. Already, Sora was gyrating her hips as her biological imperative took vicious hold of her. She seemed completely overwhelmed by the pleasure as Botan’s experienced hand pressed her in every good spot she owned. She began bouncing a bit on the bed as though being guided purely on instinct alone.
“O-oh! Ah! AH!” Sora cried, arching her back
Botan couldn’t contain her giggles. She couldn’t believe how sensitive she was to touch. It was as if she had never even masturbated. She continued to poke and press everywhere that felt good and, with one hard heave, Sora let out a cry as she expelled an impressive amount of grool from her lips. She fell back down, breathing labored and sweating profusely.
“Th… that… that was amazing…” she startled suddenly “I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t even get a ch-chance too… too…”
Botan smiled and sat up.
“The night’s not over now is it, Sora?”
Sora awoke next morning to Botan’s loving arms wrapped around her. The two had spent most of the evening having sex and making each other feel good only to fall asleep naked. She felt wet and gross, yet also loved and warm. Botan’s strong arms gave her a security few things did. She lay there, eyes closed, and all she felt was love emanating from Botan’s sleeping form. Before long, she began to stir as well. Sitting herself up as her perfect breasts jiggled from the motion. Her hair was a mess and her eyes tired, contributing even more to her beauty. She let out a small yawn.
“Good morning.” she whispered, giving her a kiss on the cheek “Sleep well?”
Sora sat up, gazing down at Botan’s naked form.
“Yes. I slept amazing… that was fun.”
“I’d love for us to stay here and bask in the afterglow but… we should probably head back before someone in the barracks misses us.” she said, giving her another kiss
“If… well… when I come back I…”
Botan put a finger on her lips again and shook her head.
“None of that. When the time is right, it will be right. Plus, I have something for you. A Christmas present.”
“Botan… you didn’t have to…” she said with a halfhearted smile
“Like I said, none of that. My mind is made up.”
They both got up and got dressed, fixing their hair and making themselves look presentable again. As they descended the latter, Sora got a worried look on her face.
“Oh my gosh, that’s right! Promise!”
She slid down to the ground and began petting the horse’s mane.
“We left her out all night!”
Botan soon joined her, checking on the saddle to be sure it was still in order.
“You insult her, Cadet. Promise is as strong and as tough as they come, isn’t that right girl?”
The horse let out a small whiny of approval and Sora giggled.
“I didn’t realize…” Sora did a small bow “Forgive me, Promise.”
Botan laughed and hopped up on the saddle, holding out her arm to help Sora mount up.
“She’s my girl, for sure. She’s been in service for nearly as long as I have.”
“Botan?” Sora asked as the horse was turned back in the direction of the path “Do horses have ranks?”
She let out a hearty laugh.
“What is a horse going to do with a rank?”
“O-oh yeah… I… I guess that was silly of me.”
She kissed the top of her head.
“In truth, we do refer to them by ranks sometimes but it's more like an affectionate nickname than a proper title.”
As the horse maneuvered back to the path, Botan stopped.
“Before we head back… I’d like one more real kiss if that’s ok.”
“You don’t even have to ask.”
The two locked lips closely, savoring it as though they’d never touch again. When their faces unhooked, Botan cracked the reins again and sent them on their way. Even in the cold winter morning of Christmas, the love they shared kept them both warmer than the thickest of coats. Promise trotted along down the path and back into the city before finally reaching the cavalry garrison again. The two dismounted and Sora felt a sudden sadness. It was all like a perfect dream. Now she and the woman she loved so deeply had to go back to pretending like none of it was real. They had to pretend to simply be a superior and an inferior whose feelings towards each other were nothing but professional indifference motivated only in proximity. She, like Botan, wanted nothing more than to stay in that hunting cabin hugging naked under the covers forever. She wanted that fantasy to last a lifetime. But here, in the military, such a relationship was impossible. All that could be lived from it was a brief orgasm followed by a few hours of snuggling. It wasn’t nearly enough.
They walked into the garrison to find Suisei with a cup of tea as she read the paper. She pretended the two didn’t exist, pulling the paper higher as though to hide their entrance as she said nothing about their arrival. Iroha was, once again, nowhere to be found. They walked into the sleeping quarters and Botan motioned towards her bed while she rifled through her footlocker for the gift. As Sora sat down, her eyes were met with the most incredible sight: Botan’s silver spurs.
“W-what? I… Botan I couldn’t possibly…”
“Take them, Sora. I want to pass them on to you.”
“But…”
She lifted up her hand and shook her finger.
“No but’s. And if it really bothers you that much, here’s how you can repay me: I’ll only accept them back once you get some silver spurs of your own. Do that, and I’ll gladly have them returned.”
Sora smiled and looked at the spurs. They were so spotless she could see her own reflection in them. She slipped them on each boot and posed for her.
“How do they look?”
She smiled.
“We’ll make you a cavalry officer yet.”
Sora took great care to hide her newfound gift this time. She wouldn’t allow something so priceless to be confiscated during room inspections. Walking out to the bank, she paid for a safe deposit box to store them in and withdrew five hundred Yukimin, determined to get a gift that Botan would love then walked back out into the busy street. Just as she walked by the Stupa she was met with a familiar face: AZKi! It had felt like ages since the two last spook, even though it had barely been a day or more.
“AZKi! How are you?”
She gave her a smile unlike any she’d ever seen. It was one of relief and wellbeing, as though a great burden had been lifted from her chest. It was as though she was witnessing a man freed from a twenty-year jail sentence.
“I’m… I’m well, Sora. How about you? You look very bright today.”
Sora smiled and nodded. She couldn’t tell AZKi a word of what was making her so giddy, yet it filled her with warmth knowing what had happened had held such a strong feeling in her.
“I am. Christmas is just… beautiful, isn’t it?”
AZKi looked up at the white-gray sky with a pensive happiness.
“Yes. Yes, it is.”
“What’s got you so… I don’t even know what I’d call it. You look so happy all of a sudden.”
“I just had a conversation with Mother Fauna and well… I’ve decided to become a wartime chaplain, Sora.”
She looked completely flabbergasted at the remark.
“S-seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“So… what does that mean for you now?”
“It means I’m going to leave the academy to go to a different specialty training. The path to being a wartime chaplain is entirely different than one to become an officer. So… I guess this is…”
Sora’s mood immediately sombered. As happy as she was, AZKi leaving would make the academy a much more lonely place.
“Don’t be sad, Sora.” she said, gripping her shoulder “We can still visit whenever we want. I’m not excluded from the academy during visitation hours. If it means that much to you, I’ll happily visit whenever I find time. Plus, you can write to me too.”
Sora mustered a smile and nodded.
“Same goes for me, AZKi. Are you sure you want this though…?”
She nodded, closing her eyes as though feeling an intense relief.
“Yes. I’ve never been more sure of anything or any decision I’ve made. The gods and goddesses have called upon me. But… here’s something to remember me by.”
AZKi reached into her pocket, pulling a pin with a strange symbol on it. It was a circle with two faces looking at either side of each other, one darker than the other.
“That’s the symbol of Jabi, the Goddess of Mercy and Charity. I live through her and her representation, which is why I want you to take it. Whenever you feel lost or feel like the world is black, you can look at that pin.”
She smiled, giving her a great big hug.
“I appreciate it, AZKi. So, so much. I’ll be sure to write.”
“Thank you, Sora.” she stopped, biting her lip for a moment “I’ll… I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
The two hesitated before finally walking down their separate ways across the busy, crowded street. After what felt like an agonizing five minutes of sadness, Sora clapped her face and shook her head. Now wasn’t the time for sadness! She needed to give Botan a gift worthy of the gift she had received. She traveled down the various shops and street vendors, eyeing anything and everything that could possibly serve to be as impactful as those spurs. Nothing quite seemed to cut it, however.
A hat? No… cliché
A new outfit? No… when would she wear it?
What about a book? But… what sort of books did she even like?
She began to feel the wind getting knocked out of her sails as she went from shop to shop. Nothing seemed to even come close. Just as she was beginning to lose all hope, she nearly ran headfirst into the perfect gift. She stopped just short of ramming into the sign advertising the Queen’s Destiny, the very same ferry they had ridden on for their date. How could she not have seen it sooner?! She quickly walked down the dock to a small stand just outside the ferry where a well-dressed man with a thick handlebar mustache sold souvenirs. He waved her down.
“Greetings, Lassy.” he noticed her uniform, immediately growing a slight blush “I mean… greetings ma’am. Might I interest you in a souvenir? Something to take a little piece of the Queen’s Destiny back home with you?”
“Yes, please! Let me take a look. It’s a gift for someone I really care about.”
She looked up and down the stand, looking for the perfect item. Finally, she found it: a wooden cigar case with a glass top. Engraved on the glass was a ship and a message in fancy font that read: The Queen’s Destiny! A trip of a lifetime!
“I’ll take it.” she replied giddily
Sora carefully sat the cigar case in her footlocker and began to walk to the mess hall only to be blocked by two MPs. She felt goosebumps run down her back and neck. They looked rather mean, almost as though they were here to administer a lashing. They approached her.
“Cadet Sora. A word.” one of them said
“Y-yes, sirs.”
She followed the two MPs up the steps and onto the second floor of the academy to a meeting room that was usually reserved for teachers and other key staff. She felt sick to her stomach. Whatever this was, it wasn’t good. Inside sat Colonel Mio, First Sargeant Noel, Sargeant Major Fubuki, and Captain Iroha. None present looked happy and all wore dower, serious expressions. She hesitated to join them at the long table before being shoved by one of the MPs who shut the door behind him. She sat down at the table and Mio took a stack of papers, tapping them against the wood surface to straighten them.
“Cadet Sora. Do you know why you’re here right now?”
She shook her head.
“I don’t, Colonel. Can you please explain?”
“You are being accused of sexual misconduct with Warrant Officer Shishiro Botan, member of the domestic cavalry and a superior officer. This investigation was made by Sergeant Major Fubuki after the incident regarding you, Cadet Hoshinova, and Private First Class Fubuki. These are extremely serious accusations that can result in jail time. I would like an explanation to your relationship regarding the Warrant Officer.”
“We have a few eyewitness accounts that state you and Botan kissed during the Halloween party of this year.” Fubuki stated “Is this correct?”
Her entire stomach sank as she remembered the words Botan told her.
“I… well…”
“I can handle it better than you.”
“Answer completely and fully, Cadet. You’re a soldier, act like it.” Mio commanded
“Just promise me that if something should happen to put you in jail or worse,”
“Y-yes, Ma’am. I…” she sighed, biting her lip “It’s just a bit difficult to talk about because…”
“pin it all on me.”
“Because?” Mio asked impatiently “Speak clearly, private.”
“Botan forced herself on me…” she said quietly
Iroha’s eyes widened and Fubuki tried to hide a grin.
“I see… that’s not something to say lightly. Are you sure that this is what happened?”
“During the Halloween party she… kissed me… But that was it! She didn’t do anything else!”
“I see…” Mio said, pausing for a long while “Sargeant Major, Captain? Do you have anything you wish to add?”
“The witness accounts suggest it wasn’t by force, it was entirely consensual, however… I do suppose that it could have happened that way.” Fubuki admitted “However, the accounts also suggest that she and the Cadet were engaged in fraternization at minimum as well as blatant nepotism. All of the witnesses I interviewed agreed that the Warrant Officer was attempting to groom the Cadet for a position in the domestic cavalry, a rather easy and laid-back position.”
Captain Iroha merely waved her hand, not saying a word.
“I understand.” the Colonel said “Here’s what happens next, Sora. Due to both these accusations, as well as poor performance in the academy overall, I am expelling you. However, if you wish, I can give you the rank of Corporal and send you immediately to active duty. You will still be eligible for honorable discharge when your deployment term is up and you will not receive any charges.”
“And… Botan?”
“That’s not your concern anymore, Cadet.” Mio stated
“I… guess I’ll take the position of active duty.”
“It’s settled then. Corporal Tokino Sora; you are hereby ordered to report to dock A-2 tomorrow morning at O-five hundred for active deployment. You will be given further instruction when you arrive. Everyone is dismissed.”