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I will use adverbs

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        Funday friday skiing

Ahh as i woke up lying in my soft bed my eyes straining to stay open i hear my loud parents yelling ̈MARIA BREAKFAST IS READY ̈ ok i yelled back. After I had breakfast I had a nice warm shower and jumped in to my cosy but heavy ski suit. Yum as I sip on my nice hot chocolate ready for the snow i hear my mother say ̈come on maria it's time to go skiing at mt ruhapahu ̈

Yay i jump and shout hooray hooray its time its time but slowly I calmed myself down and jumped in the car like a kangaroo and zoom we were off going to get me and my mum some skis,helmet,gloves.and poles.we finally hit the bottom of mt ruhapahu. I say to my mum it looks as big as a giant in person and she soon arges with me. As we are about to go up the ski lift i say to my mum um ...aren't we going on the beginners ski track she looked over ohh no we quickly ask the person running the ski lift that we changed our mind.After a couple tries I finally got the hang of it and soon enough I was zooming through the snow woohoo i yelled.(two hours later)I finally felt so confident I said to my mum ̈mum im finally read to go on the intermediate ski track ok she said back.As we were going up the lift i go quiet anxious  ohh i don't feel good mum i feel i like im going to spew my mum calmed me down and she said to me ¨when you are ready we will go down but little did i know i would be so scared.After about half an hour of shaking,sulking and nearly about to cry lol i finally made it down and after that i never went down the intermediate track again.(2 hours later) it was finally about to go down and I was so sad but my mum said its ok e will come back next time next year so for sure I was excited for next and to this day I am still excited for when we go skiing.  

Feedback - Excellent personal voice coming through in the language you have chosen here. A level 3B piece overall.

Feed Forward - Let’s see if we can work on some of the surface features to make sure we have paragraphs, full stops etc in the right places.