Live at the Table 24: August 2019 - Primetime Adventures Pt. 2

Transcriber: @robotchangeling

Austin: Welcome to Live at the Table, an actual play livestream focused on critical worldbuilding, smart characterization, and fun interaction between good friends. I'm your host Austin Walker. Joining me today, the returning cast of Primetime Adventures, including: Sylvia^[1] Clare?

Sylvia: Hi, I'm Andri— whoo. [chuckles] Hi, I'm Sylvia. You can find me on Twitter @captaintrash, and you can listen to my other show Emojidrome on any podcast app, pretty much.

Austin: Keith Carberry?

Keith: Hi, my name is Keith J. Carberry. You can find me on Twitter @KeithJCarberry, and you can find the let’s plays that I do at youtube.com/runbutton. Also, we’ve been doing—for the past, what, three years?—a very slow let’s play [Austin laughs] of Silent Hill 4: The Room. We hate it. It’s honestly the worst game that I've ever played in my entire life. [Austin chuckles, sighs] We finished it. It’s been up for— the last ten episodes or so have been up for patrons only, slowly releasing them. But we’re done, and we’re gonna start releasing all of them, so look out for that. What a bad game. We decided that—

Austin: Great sell, Keith.

Keith: We decided that we would rather play Sonic 06 three times in a row before playing Silent Hill 4: The Room again. It is that bad.

Austin: Thank you for your service. I really appreciate it.

[distant sounds]

Austin: What is that noise?

Keith: Oh, my phone went off.

Austin: Okay. Tom Whitney in the chat notes that the Silent Hill let’s play has gone even slower than this game of Primetime Adventures. [chuckles] Art Martinez-Tebbel, also joining us.

Art: Hey, you can find me on Twitter @atebbel, and I feel, just for continuity across these episodes—

Austin: Yeah. Yes.

Art: I should plug One Song Only. [Austin and Sylvia laugh] Which I think had just started when we did the last one of these.

Austin: That is true.

Art: And, um…

Austin: Keith asks, at the beginning, whether or not you will get a full...whether or not he would be able to understand the full arc of Kanye West if he listened to One Song Only. I now confidently believe: yes. [chuckles] [Keith cackles]

Art: Or, no!

Keith: Well, there was a whole new arc that got added on after the start.

Austin: Yeah, we got caught up real quick. I guess there’s nothing there about Sunday Service, right? So…

Art: Or any of what’s been going on with him lately.

Austin: Wait, what’s...what besides the Sunday Service stuff is lately?

Art: Well, there was that shitty Kim Kardashian thing.

Austin: I don’t even know what that is. I missed that entirely. I mean...I believe you.

Art: He’s like going on like, “Oh, when you wear sexy clothes to the Met ball, it’s disrespectful to me.”

Austin: Oh, that’s not great. That’s bad.

Art: And like...yeah, honestly, Kanye. [someone chuckles] And it’s like the night before the Met ball, and he’s like, “Do you want to wear something else?” it’s like...you’re too late!

Austin: Yeah, yeah, it’s way too late. That’s not how that goes.

Art: Anything that’s happening for the Met ball happened months—

Austin: [chuckles] Yes.

Keith: Isn’t he supposed to be a fashion guy? Doesn’t he know that?

Austin: Yeah, it...who knows what he knows, at this point.

Art: Yeah, but he’s also a gross dude.

Austin: Yes, yes.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Alright. We last played this game… [chuckles] Or, I guess what’s more fair is, the last episode that’s released in the feed—January 30 2018. Which is like 19 months ago or something ridiculous. 20 months— 20 plus months ago? 20 plus months.

Art: No, it’s 18, right?

Austin: No.

Keith: Well, the...March...this one came out in like March 2018, but then the— or, the last one did. But we did the character creation even before that.

Austin: No, the— unless I'm misreading my thing right now, which I guess it’s possible. I guess it’s possible I was looking at the wrong one.

Keith: I did not pay— I wasn’t paying— I just thought that I remembered.

Austin: Oh, no, it was earlier than that. Truly, I believe. Regardless, the point is: it has been well over a year at this point, since we last played— oh, you’re right. You’re right. April 1 was the second one of these that hit, I think.

Keith: And I think the other one was maybe February or January of that same year?

Austin: It was January. It was the end of January, is when we did character creation.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: So, it has been a minute since we have done anything in Primetime Adventures. We should go over what happened and who everyone is and what the premise is. [chuckles] So, if you have not seen any of these before, the premise of Primetime Adventures is that we are playing a television show with all of the form and structure that goes with it. Which is to say that there can be an episode where there are like clear A plots and B plots. Clear, you know, protagonists, like lead characters and secondary characters. This is a game that is about characters trying to get stuff and to deal with their Impulses that get them into trouble. We started by creating a premise for the show. And that premise...I don’t think we’ve written it down exactly on this sheet in front of me. But basically, [chuckles] the premise of this show is that it, one, [Keith chuckles] is a hit show in Bluff City.

Two, it’s a show about...the television show follows [Keith chuckles] a group of aliens who’ve landed on planet Earth in Bluff City, in or around Bluff City, sent there with the mission of evaluating the planet Earth and specifically showing off the good parts of Earth, while their rival, a rival team of aliens, arrived to show off the bad parts of Earth. And to determine, between the two of them, we’ll send that footage all back—both in the form of kind of documentaries—to the alien council, the leadership of this like, this group of...this, you know, multicultural group of aliens, this sort of space federation, to determine whether Earth should be taken over or destroyed or brought in or left alone or whatever. In order to do that, they have gone undercover as baseball teams, both sides of this research alien group equation. The heroes have teamed up with the Bluff City Blackjackets, AKA the Bluff City Blackjacks, a local baseball team. They are living [chuckles] with the uncle— nope, the brother of the coach of that team. The coach is Frankie “Beanball” Bianchi.

Keith: Also a player? Is he also a player?

Austin: Yes. He’s a player-coach, yes.

Art: A player-manager, like Pete Rose.

Austin: Yeah, sorry, yeah. A player-manager, exactly. And they’re living in his brother’s converted motel into— a motel that’s been converted into apartments. His brother, Uncle Chez. And they are also the stars of a local running on-demand like reality TV show that is being used to fund the minor league baseball team they play with. That reality TV show is like an antiquing and local...like, Americana show? Like, you know, “This baseball team’s gonna tour the country because they’re a minor league team, and when they stop in small towns and little cities across this great nation, they’re gonna show what the best— the best there is to offer in each of these places.” Have I missed anything core, besides the characters, which we’ll go over in a second? [pause]

Keith: I don’t think so?

Austin: I think that’s the core. So, let’s go—

Keith: So it’s a show within a show within a show within a podcast.

Austin: That’s correct. That’s correct.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Sylvia, can you tell me who you are playing? Give me your concept, your appearance, your personality, anything else you wanna...also your Issue and your Impulse.

Sylvia: Right, so, my character is Lou-Ellen Llewellyn.

Austin: Uh huh.

Sylvia: They are sort of...I believe when I described them… [chuckles] They are a mothman [pronounce moth-min, like a surname].

Austin: Yeah.

Sylvia: Like, they are a mothman alien…

Austin: Like a cryptid.

Sylvia: But gender neutral.

Austin: Yes, yeah.

Sylvia: Yeah, like a cryptid. But gender neutral pronouns, I want to be clear. When I say mothman—

Austin: Mm-hmm.

Sylvia: I'm just saying that as a species thing. And they’re the producer for the sort of— the deepest layer of the show.

Austin: Are they also the producer for the reality TV show? Are they double duty?

Sylvia: They were like filming it, right?

Austin: I guess they were, yeah. [chuckles]

Keith: I...so, this is something that I had a question about when I was relistening.

Austin: Mm-hmm?

Keith: And I think I was unclear on it even at the time, but it didn’t really come up. Sometimes it seems like the two shows are one and the same—

Austin: Yep.

Keith: And sometimes it seems like there’s, uh, separate shows—separate edits would be one thing, but it’s like...is it two totally...is it two shows within a show within a show within a podcast? Or is it one show within a show within a show within a podcast.

Austin: There’s two shows. I think there’s a moment specifically where you break the fourth wall to speak to aliens about English or something, whereas that would not have gone into the TV show that airs on...we talked about it being— the reality TV show doesn’t just air, it isn’t like a regular TV show, it aired on like...it’s like an on-demand TV show that’s only available from like local comcast distributor, you know what I mean? [Keith laughs] Or like, it’s the sort of programming that would air if you go to the TV guide channel, and it just kind of played— you know what I mean?

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Yes.

Sylvia: Yeah, and...person— okay, right. The rest of the stuff. I think I described— oh, right, I did write the specific moth.

Austin: You did. [chuckles]

Sylvia: I compared them to a garden tiger moth.

Austin: Uh huh.

Sylvia: It’s one of the fuzzier end of the moth spectrum. Because, personally, the less fuzzy ones gross me out.

Austin: Fair.

Keith: Yeah, it’s one of my two bugs that I don’t like.

Sylvia: Yeah. Personality-wise, I have very stressed, very high-strung, very easily distracted, you know, moth stuff.

 Austin: Like a moth, yeah. In fact, high strung is your Impulse, which is the thing you must resist in certain types of scenes.

Sylvia: Mm-hmm.

Austin: Yeah.

Sylvia: And then, on top of that, my Issue is trying to make this a good show, because the fate of the planet relies on it. Also just pressure—

Austin: Yeah.

Sylvia: From like, myself, that my work is good, you know?

Austin: Yeah, totally.

Sylvia: Should I go through the personal set and connections, or do you want to do that stuff?

Austin: Yeah, personal set, connections, and edge, also. We may as well.

Sylvia: Right. Yes. Okay, so, my personal set is a video editing desk in the half-finished basement of the coach’s house. It’s sort of Lou-Ellen’s makeshift workspace. Edge is, I wrote down “nerd”, [Austin makes amused sound] but I think we went more specific than that, right?

Austin: No, we super didn’t.

Sylvia: No? We kept it? Okay.

Austin: You were just playing a big nerd.

Sylvia: Awesome! Love it. So easy. [Austin chuckles] I'm method for this one. [Austin chuckles] Connections are the station managers, the alien station managers I believe specifically. And then Jack “Jack T Hall” T’Hell, the very buff alien—

Austin: Yeah.

Sylvia: Who is the ringer on our team.

Austin: Yes. Jack T’Hell, AKA Jack T. Hall, the...yeah, the— well, so there’s two ringers, is an important thing. There was...there’s Jack T’Hell, who is like the super strong alien.

Sylvia: Mm-hmm.

Austin: I believe that his type was “strong alien” when we came up with a bunch of different character types. But there was also Jackie Johannson, who is the previous star of the team who resents y'all for showing up and is like “Who are all these rookies?” There’s also Jackie, the name of the mascot who you play when you’re in the mascot outfit, which is basically all the time, because of being a moth person.

Sylvia: [chuckles] Yeah.

Austin: Yeah. Cool.

Keith: Did we ever address why everyone else has a human suit but Lou-Ellen Llewellyn doesn’t have a human suit?

Austin: I…

Sylvia: I always assumed it was 'cause the wings.

Austin: That is how you talked about it, yes.

Keith: Right.

Sylvia: But also like, outside of that, looking at this from the production standpoint, I imagine also it would be way more expensive to do like...actually, maybe not. I was gonna be like, “way more annoying for them to hire another actor to do human Lou-Ellen.”

Austin: Yeah, you’re probably a voice actor, right? There’s probably one person acting as Lou— mmm, I don't know.

Sylvia: Yeah…

Austin: Do we ever see Lou-Ellen out of the— we haven’t yet. We haven’t seen— oh, yeah we have. You get knocked out of the costume briefly, I think, in the junkyard.

Sylvia: Mm-hmm.

Austin: Which we’ll get to, and why I'm doing the summary.

Sylvia: Yeah.

Austin: Let’s keep moving. Art, tell me about Frankie.

Art: Uh, Frankie “Beanball” Bianchi—

Austin: Uh huh?

Art: Is the player manager of the team. He’s...that’s his edge, is “veteran ballplayer.” He’s old and he’s done, he’s finished, you know?  

Austin: But he still plays, right?

Art: Yeah, uh huh. But like, this is a minor league team.

Austin: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Art: Yeah, he doesn’t have the stuff for…

Austin: For the pros anymore.

Art: For the pros, yeah. He’s a Gandolfini type.

Austin: Yeah.

Art: If that doesn’t call it up for you, just it’s a very quick Google search, and it’s exactly right. [Austin and Sylvia chuckle]

Austin: He is explicitly played by our own Blake Blossom, a character who popped up a few times in the first season of Bluff City.

Art: Sure. And yeah, he’s trying to coach this team of aliens. His personal set is the coach’s office, which I imagine to be— I think we described it as pretty run-down.

Austin: Yes.

Art: But like, the more I've thought about it, maybe, you know, like a Law and Order captain’s office.

Austin: You think it’s like a repurposed captain’s office?

Art: Like the set or like you mean in—

Austin: Like the set.

Art: Yeah.

Austin: Literally the set, yeah.

Art: Yeah, it was a crime show. They just like re— they’ve repainted it and added some baseball.

Austin: Yeah, they even kept some of the stuff on the desk, on the captain’s desk, you know? [chuckles] There’s a medal there, for some reason.

Keith: There’s a Bluff City...

Art: And if you zoom in really close, the papers say like “Arrest Report.”

Austin: [chuckles] Yeah.

Keith: A Bluff City mug.

Art: So like there’s some fan theories about it being like very...there’s been bad behavior on the team. That’s why all these aliens are here.

Austin: Right, got it. What is your Issue and your Impulse?

Art: The Issue is doubt, doubting his ability now that he’s gotten old and is playing on a minor league team with a bunch of aliens, and his Impulse is being unsupportive.

Austin: Yeah.

Art: 'Cause he’s got like that old-timey athlete crap, you know?

Austin: Yes. Yeah, he sure does. Who are your connections?

Art: Paulie Patio, the owner of the team. [Austin chuckles] And Chez, the owner of Chez Chez[pronounced: shei chez], or, as I'm sure it gets pronounced a lot, Chez Chez[pronounced: chez chez].

[0:15:06]

Austin: Chez Chez. Yeah. Trying to think if there’s any other notes, here. You have a son named Sal, who we’ll talk about in a second.

Art: Yeah, we’ll get to Sal.

Austin: And then...trying to think if there’s any other thing that was important about you. You know that they’re aliens. You are concealing that they are aliens, right?

Art: Yes, yes.

Austin: Alright.

Art: Yes, it’s...I mean, we could repur— if we wanted to like retool the show in between pilot and series, that’s a thing we could think about.

Austin: Mm-hmm.

Art: Like, if we wanted to just shift this like a full-on mad-cap comedy, [chuckles] that’s the way to do it.

Austin: We could make it so that— right, that the coach doesn’t know, yeah.

Art: Uh huh.

Austin: Well, we’ll talk about that, if we want to do that.

Keith: Though—

Art: Then we have to recast James Gandolfini with, um, Jon Lithgow. That’s my only... [Keith and Austin laugh]

Austin: Keith, you’re up next. Tell me about your character.

Keith: Hi, my character’s name is Keith Carberry, no alias. It happened to also be an Earth name. [Sylvia chuckles]

Austin: Yep. Cool how that worked out.

Keith: Yeah. [chuckles] Keith is very small and uses a suit to stretch themselves out. It’s like a power suit, and he...you know, I think I described him as gingerbread man-sized.

Austin: Mm-hmm.

Keith: And, you know, the suit makes him full average height. The worst player on the team, because he’s used to having very tiny little gingerbread man-sized man muscles? And now has to be a baseball player, so that’s— so he’s insecure about wanting to be good at baseball and liking baseball, but not being able to really do a very good job.

Austin: Right.

Keith: That’s my Issue. Not contributing enough to the team. Impulse: closed off. I will retreat within being, you know, grumpy and sad about my position on the team.

Austin: Yeah. And then your personal set is a tiny room? [chuckles]

Keith: Oh, right. Personal set. It’s a tiny— yeah, it’s a weird room inside of a locker. It’s the end of Men in Black 2, where they open up the door to the world, and they’re all just in a locker. Also, it’s those other people from Men in Black 2. They’re in a locker the whole time. [Austin makes amused exasperated sound] Uh, the smaller locker. It’s a locker within a locker.

Austin: Okay.

Art: You’re giving away a lot of Men in Black spoilers, here.

Keith: Uh...those are not plot-relevant. It’s an old movie.

Austin: That’s teaser. That’s a teaser, not a spoiler.

Keith: That’s a teaser, yeah. Wow, people. Lot’s of lockers in Men in Black. I gotta see that.

Austin: [laughs] I gotta see that movie. [Keith laughs] Uh, you have an edge.

Keith: Edge: most suited to antiquing, both in body and attitude. I do love to dig around in the trash.

Austin: Yeah, we...that happened. [Keith laughs]

Keith: I did—

Austin: Color-coded trash, all sorts of trash.

Keith: Yeah...that was described as the Templeton the Rat at the carnival scene—

Austin: Yes.

Keith: From the Charlotte’s Web cartoon.

Austin: That’s correct, yeah.

Keith: Which, for a second, I didn’t— when I was relistening, I didn’t realize what I was trying to say. I was hearing “webcartoon” as one thing.

Austin: [amused] Me too! At the time. I was like, “What is Keith talking about?”

Keith: [laughs] Yeah, I made the same mistake that you did.

Austin: Mm-hmm.

Keith: Charlotte’s Web, animated cartoon.

Austin: Mmm, there we go.

Keith: Okay. And my connections are to...Sal, the coach’s kid, who loves aliens and baseball, that needs mentorship. I can’t remember, though: does Sal love aliens and know that we’re aliens? I don’t think so.

Austin: I don’t think the kid knows.

Keith: I think that Beanbag is the only one that knows… [Austin and Art laugh]

Art: It’s not Beanbag! [Keith and Austin laugh]

Keith: I think that Frankie’s the only one that knows that we’re aliens, out of all of the humans. And, oh, I'm friends with, uh, with Ross and The Boss—

Austin: There it is.

Keith: That you can call the...the morning call-in radio sports show. The minor league specific— [chuckles] well, I don't know that that’s true. But the—

Austin: I'm sure they cover other— they cover other sports, they’re just big fans of the Blackjacks, you know?

Keith: Right, they’re big fans, yeah, of the...the...the BC BJs.

Austin: Ross Rossi and Bossman...whoo, Bossman…uh, buh buh buh buh buh. Like, Bossman something Burke. Not Billy.

Keith: Uh…

Austin: Bossman...I have it. I have it in front of me. I could just look at it. I thought I had it.

Art: If any lawyers are listening, the similarity of those to any real life sports radio hosts is completely coincidental.

Austin: There is no similarity. Just look the other way, please! Where the fuck did I put...there it is. Ah, Bossman Burke Bridges. There it is. Bossman Burke Bridges and Ross Rossi. Great. So, those are the characters. Let me just walk us through what has happened already, so we’re all on the same page. This is the pilot episode, [chuckles] and it opened with a radio interview with WBRK The Breaks, Ross and the Boss, in which things break bad, and Frankie—

Keith: It breaks bad.

Austin: It breaks bad. Frankie Bianchi responds negatively to a caller and says that he does not love baseball, he loves the living that baseball has provided for him. And also maybe it comes across like maybe the team doesn’t love America. [Keith laughs] Everyone leaves. Everything’s chaos. And by the time we get to Act—or, to Scene One, Act One— excuse me, Act One, Scene One—there are protesters [chuckles] at the minor league baseball stadium. [Keith laughs] And Paulie Patio, the owner of the team, has called in Frankie for a meeting, and says, “Listen, if you lose this game against the Bloomington Blooms, people are gonna have to— we’re gonna have to have your head. I'm gonna have to replace you as head coach.”

Keith: And kill you.

Austin: And kill you, probably. Given that Paulie is from the Patio— the infamous Patio family. [chuckles] You know, it’s possible. In Scene 2, Frankie was coaching Keith, hitting baseballs against Chez Chez’s wall. Chez came out and, I think, wanted more money or something?

Keith: Wanted money for...'cause we were paying in little chunks of change.

Austin: Right.

Keith: And I made a bet, that Chez did not accept—

Austin: Mm-hmm.

Keith: That either we could get our security deposit back right then or we would double the security deposit that we owed.

Austin: And Chez was like, “No, just pay your fuckin’ rent,” right?

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Basically. Cool. In Scene 3, on the Blackjackets’ team jitney on your way to Indiana, a very uncomfortable bus ride, [chuckles] Lou-Ellen was trying to convince the team to wear American flag pins in order to improve their public image. But no one was willing to, because of the uniform rules. The didn’t want to be fined. And also just because no one likes Lou-Ellen. [Sylvia and Keith laugh] Even though Jack T’Hell and Keith tried to stick up for them, it just didn’t go that way. Finally, going into Act Two, the team jitney arrived at a motel in Bloomington, Indiana, where you’re set to fight— er, not to fight. [chuckles] Well. Set to go up against the Bloomington Blooms, your rival team, which has some of the other aliens on it.

Keith: Well, there’s a thing that the other aliens are doing specifically.

Austin: Yeah. I mentioned that they’re here to prove—

Keith: Oh, you did?

Austin: That the Earth is bad and they should destroy it, yeah.

Keith: Okay.

Austin: Much earlier, yeah. In the first scene of Act Two, Keith and Lou-Ellen went to BJ’s Salvage Emporium, where you were looking for interesting TV-worthy stuff, Keith. And, Lou-Ellen, you were looking for something to build a fake Bloomington Bloom mascot costume? As a reminder, the Bloomington bloom mascot is like a big bouquet of flowers? Like a bouquet of blooms? That is also not...is not a costume at all, that is just what the type of alien it is looks like. [chuckles] It looks like if there was a mascot made to look like a bouquet of flowers. Very convenient. The two of you realized you’re both doing the same ploy— or, sorry. It turns out the Bloomington Bloom mascot is there and also looking to build or create a fake Bluff City Blackjacks/Blackjackets mascot costume? There’s a scuffle, and you wind up flipped away, Lou-Ellen.

Keith: Which is funny, it implies that there’s some sort of common “dressing up as someone else to make them look bad” thing culturally with…

Austin: [chuckles] It does. [Keith and Sylvia laugh] It does suggest that, I guess, doesn’t it? Yeah. Love it. Actually kind of great. Then, we had another scene which was Frankie and his son Sal at TGI Friday’s. They share some not-zarella sticks.

Keith: [laughing] That was so funny.

Austin: And things are rough.

Keith: What a funny joke.

Austin: It’s very good. Things are rough. There’s like an attempt at connection, and at a key moment, Sal reveals that, by studying the scouting reports, I guess, he identifies for his dad that the opposing team’s three best hitters always swing when it’s high and outside, so that’s a place the pitch could be. And there’s like an almost bonding moment, but also Frankie kind of says, just at the end, “Oh, that’s good. We can use that.” [chuckles] Instead of being like, “Thanks, son.” Finally, the end of Act Two was as the Blackjackets were in the locker room before the game. It came on the TVs that the Blackjackets’ mascot, but not Lou-Ellen Llewellyn, was outside riling up the crowd by giving them the finger and trying to tear the American flag in half? [someone laughs] At which point, in the real costume, Lou-Ellen rushed out from the locker room with the Spike Lee Dolly shot, and the mashup of Kanye West’s “Black Skinhead” and Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus” playing. And charged into the fake mascot, beat the shit out of ‘em, and pushed them over the back of a kneeling Jack T’Hell, like you do— like a high school bully would do when pushing someone into a pool. And that is where we left off! [chuckles] Oh, also, you got to run around with the flag, and everyone was excited, 'cause you revealed that this was a ploy, that the Bloomington Blooms mascot was tricking— was trying to trick the audience. It made ESPN. It made Sports Center. And it looked like Paulie Patio was happy about it, so. That is when—

Keith: It went viral! That’s views! That’s clicks!

Austin: That’s views. That’s views, that’s clicks, that’s positivity. And then, the thing that I genuinely think happened is that this pilot episode went unfinished for years. [chuckles] I think in the world of— the fictional world where this is a TV show, this just sat on a— there was a strike, there was a writers’ strike. They shot the script that they had. They were writing the script— they were like writing alongside the shoots, you know? They had like basic plot beats, but that’s it. And so there’s just this unseen— or maybe it ended up leaking out? Is that what happened, do we we think? Do we think that like this first two acts, the first 30 minutes of this hour long dramedy like leaked out at some point?

Sylvia: Just like a torrent showed up [Austin: yeah] on some like website somewhere?

Austin: Mm-hmm.

Sylvia: I kinda like that, yeah.

Austin: Mmm. People were like, “You gotta see it. Like, there’s this great scene [emotional] where they’re eating mozzarella sticks.”

Keith: [chuckles] This is the best show.

Austin: I don't know— [chuckles]

Keith: This is the best show we’ve ever—

Austin: I don't know why I slipped into Jay Z’s voice. I don't know why Jay Z [laughs] is like, “Bae…”

Art: [distantly] “You gotta watch it!” [Austin laughs]

Keith: Sorry, how does Jay Z say mozzarella sticks?

Austin: [imitating Jay Z] Mozzarella sticks. He’s always like half laughin’. Okay. So, what do we do? So, we’re gonna come back in. Does anyone remember how this game works?

Keith: Little bit!

Art: Yeah, we draw cards, and then you win. I don't know… [Austin, Sylvia, and Keith laugh]

Austin: That has been the case, thus far!

Art: It’s a real, uh, heads we win— heads you win, tails we lose situation.

Austin: [laughs] It has been that. So...the way it basically works is we have to start scenes. We decide, first and foremost, do we want to make a character scene, which is a scene where a protagonist is dealing with their Impulse and their Issues, or a plot scene, where a protagonist is trying to get something, and the drama is: will they get what they want? We’re going into Act Three, and so I should just read from the third act, like, hey, what’s up with the third act? What should we be trying to hit with Act Three? [reading] “Just when everything seems to be taken care of,” which is definitely the case right now. You’ve pushed over the mascot. What more could you do? “The third act introduces yet another problem. The villain they were after turns out to be working for an even more powerful villain, or what appeared to be a case of burglary turns out to be linked to a string of unsolved homicides. Action in the third act should continue to escalate in scale. Act Three often ends with an epiphany moment for one or more of the characters, a revelation about why things have been happening the way they have or why it’s been difficult to resolve certain problems. ‘Of course, I know what we need to do! We need to get back to the boathouse!’” Something like that. So, does anyone have an idea for a scene? We can also always talk about general structure. Like, in the past we were able to be like, “Oh, well, I want to do a scene when we get there, but we’re not there yet, so if anyone else wants to do a scene before we leave, blah blah blah.” So yeah, let’s just open with this. Does anyone have an idea for a scene?

Art: I think we should really get to the bottom— [audio cuts out] —even heard about him yet.

Austin: You cut out there, Art, and it sounded like you cut out exactly when you did your punchline.

Art: Yeah, it’s fine. We’ll just…

Austin: Keep on movin’?

Art: That one’s…

Austin: Fill in the blank.

Art: Yeah, I mean, it’s on the Audacity. So you’ll hear it on the feed.

Austin: You will not. You will not hear it on the feed. Lives don’t go in that way. We just keep those files just in case, so that if we ever want to do something like what we’re doing with PARTIZAN, with Road to PARTIZAN, we have the original files.

Art: Well, then, I guess in like 40 years, when we do like the Friends at the Table anthology boxset release—

Austin: Yep.

Art: It’ll be on there.

Austin: Yes. When we go back to the masters. Exactly. Uh, does anyone have a scene? [chuckles] [pause]

[00:30:00]

Keith: Uh, I have an idea. I'm not sold— I'm not like tied to it, but.

Austin: Uh huh?

Keith: We could have the...the first example you gave, the bad guy’s a worse guy?

Austin: Yeah.

Keith: Uh, there could be something there with um...the tapes that we’re getting that we’re sending back getting like re-edited, or before it’s getting played for the people that are meant to decide on whether this thing’s going down.

Austin: Do you think that’s a first episode thing?

Keith: I don't know...

Austin: Especially at the top of this...I guess we should just restate where we’re at, which is like, the baseball game was about to happen. So maybe that’s the frame we should be working at?

Keith: Oh, right, about to, yeah.

Austin: We were like before—

Keith: It seemed so climactic.

Austin: I know!

Keith: We were already on Sports Center.

Austin: [laughs] I know! Well, we jumped ahead. We like did a flash forward to show that, but yeah. Maybe we think of that as a cut-in, like “This just in: there was just a fight. [chuckles] How goofy is that shit?” But no, I think Act Three should be probably happening at this baseball game. Right?

Keith: Yeah.

Art: Yeah, definitely. We have to like...we have to like do the baseball part.

Austin: Right, like, the two big...the big stake for this episode was if you lose the game and also continue to lose, fans will be upset, and if the fans are upset, Frankie is fired. On top of your personal stuff, which is: gotta make a good show—which has not been happening great—for Lou-Ellen, and figure out how to contribute to the team for Keith.

Keith: What if the Bloomington aliens were able to get more...like...the suits have to be restrained in a way so that, you know, we have the physical strength of human people. We talked about Jack T’Hell being incredibly uncomfortable in his suit [Austin: mm-hmm] because of how much bigger he actually is than the incredibly strong muscular guy his suit makes him out to be.

Austin: Right.

Keith: Maybe we’re up against suits that are stronger than they should have been.

Austin: Like, they have taken their restrainers off.

Keith: Right, yeah.

Austin: So yeah, is that the...who is...so, are you proposing a scene where that gets revealed? Like, we come back from break, and...who’s your pitcher? Are any of you the pitcher?

Art: Yeah, Frankie’s the pitcher.

Austin: Okay. So, is this a Frankie scene, then?

Art: That’s why it was the high and outside.

Austin: Oh, right, right, right.

Art: And that’s why his nickname is Beanball. [chuckles]

Austin: Right, of course. Totally. Then yeah, is this—

Keith: Thought maybe you were the catcher. Could have been the catcher.

Austin: Are you a relief pitcher or are you out there pitching? Like, from the jump? [chuckles]

Art: I think at this— I think it fits better if it’s the starting pitcher.

Austin: Okay.

Art: Sort of like, uh, Kevin Costner in that movie. [slight pause]

Keith: Rookie.

Art: Is that it?

Keith: Yeah, it’s called Rookie.

Art: He’s old though, right?l

Keith: Yeah, he’s an old rookie.

Austin: I was trying to think of a joke—

Keith: He got scouted at like an open tryout.

Austin: Field of Dreams. No, um…

Keith: It’s Rookie.

Austin: Has he been in multiple— how many baseball movies has he been in?

Keith: [laughs] Two.

Austin: Bull Durham? Do you mean Bull Durham?

Art: Bull Durham.

Keith: Not The Rookie?

Art: Nah, I'm pretty sure it’s The Rookie. [chuckles]

Austin: Well, what’s Bull Durham about?

Art: I think it’s like a...like a...I have no idea. Don’t they— that’s the one where the lights explode, right?

Austin: Crash Davis— “‘Crash’ Davis, a veteran of twelve years in minor league baseball, is sent down to the—”

Keith: Oh.

Austin: So, this is the opp— this is him coaching a hotshot rookie pitcher, whereas The Rookie starring Kevin Costner— [laughs]  

Keith: It’s Dennis— no, it’s Randy— it’s Dennis Quaid, not...it’s Dennis Quaid.

Austin: Ohh, okay.

Sylvia: Costner’s been in five baseball movies, and none of them are The Rookie. [Austin laughs]

Keith: No. Well, Dennis Quaid, Kevin Costner, very similar kind of guy.

Sylvia: The energy is there. I understand. [chuckles]

Austin: But, there— but, wait, so it’s not For Love of the Game, [laughing] the movie where Kevin Costner plays an aging baseball player?

Art: It’s probably that one.

Keith: It’s probably that one.

Austin: [laughing] I can’t believe how many...why is this happening?

Keith: Because The Rookie, yeah, The Rookie’s like the opposite, because it’s an old guy who gets drafted to a triple A team and then gets called up to the majors for a brief career.

Austin: Wait, you weren’t kidding. Sylvia, that five number is correct.

Sylvia: Yeah, no, I counted.

Austin: I thought that was a bit.

Sylvia: No.

Austin: I thought you were just like doing a joke bit.

Sylvia: No, no, no, sorry. Yeah, I went on Wikipedia and counted. There’s a section.

Austin: There’s a section.

Sylvia: Called “Baseball”.

Austin: [laughs] Okay.

Art: For Love of the Game is directed by Sam Raimi?

Austin: Yeah.

Sylvia: Okay.

Austin: That Sam Raimi.

Sylvia: Okay!

Austin: Okay, we have to—

Art: This might not be bad.

Austin: We need to have a scene. Someone needs to take the Bull Durham by the horns.

Art: I—

Keith: I'm just spitballing. We can do anything, not tied to this. No one else said anything, so.

Austin: Don’t look at me. I'm just the Producer.

Art: Well, but like, we have to have the high and outside, but it might not have to be this scene.

Sylvia: We could...

Austin: That’s probably the end, right? That’s probably the end of this series of...like, it has to be you— I guess either it’s that information doesn’t help you at all, because they’ve taken their restrainers off. Maybe that’s actually the...the second twist, right? Like, Keith has suggested that they are not playing by the rules. That they are swinging harder than they’re supposed to be swinging. And maybe that is the twist that we introduce right away, is that like you’re on the mound and are like, “Eh, this is no big deal. I know how to read their best hitters.” Right?

Art: Sure, and they’re just hitting the ball anyway.

Austin: Tell me what this— tell me what— do we want to do that, first and foremost? As the first scene of Act Three.

Art: Yeah, that sounds like a fine— yeah.

Austin: Okay, so we come back from...we come back from commercial break, and there’s Frankie up on the mound. Taking a stance, everyone’s coming out. You know, picking up the grass. Doing the stuff with the grass that baseball players do. Is this a character scene or a plot scene? This is probably a plot scene?

Art: Yeah, it’s a plot scene, right?

Austin: Yeah.

Art: Because it’s…

Austin: You want to strike out these fuckin’ pitchers. Or, these—

Art: Hitters.

Austin: Not the pitchers, hitters. Yes.

Art: Pitchers are easy outs.

Austin: [chuckles] Yes.

Art: They don’t take batting practice.

Austin: They do not. Alright. Where is this? Is this in— there’s characters, location, and actions. So characters, obviously it’s you. It’s probably just a you scene, right? I don't know who else—

Art: All the other characters are there, right?

Austin: Yeah, but they’re not…

Art: Because they’re—

Austin: They’re not gonna have a crisis moment.

Art: No, but they’re playing in the baseball.

Austin: Yes. Yes, of course, yeah. But not in this particular sequence where you are pitching.

Art: Right.

Austin: Or, I guess they could be! Because there could be a hit that they catch or something, right?

Art: Yeah.

Austin: How does that work? Let me look this up again, because...when you build towards crisis, does it have to involve everybody? Uh...build towards a crisis. [reading] “In order for the scene to go someplace, you have to test the protagonist. To get to that point, you need to put pressure on their Issue.” I guess there’s nothing we never really talked through is whether or not multiple characters in a single scene can have a crisis. Does anyone in the chat play Primetime Adventures and remember this?

Keith: Yeah, in the first episode we only ever had one crisis per scene, and it was always the person whose scene it was.

Austin: We had multiple— there were definitely scenes where everyone played cards, though.

Art: Yeah.

Keith: Oh, that’s true.

Austin: And we had different results, where like, oh— because one of the things that happened often, Keith, was that you would end up with a better result than other people, [Keith: yeah] and so we got this great recurring bit of like everyone loves Keith J. Carberry the baseball player, but everyone hates everybody else.

Keith: Enough to protest.

Austin: Enough to protest!

Art: You know in the baseball— [audio cuts out]

Austin: You cut out again, Art.

Art: That’s fine. [Austin and Keith chuckle]

Austin: We went months and this didn’t happen!

Keith: Did we?

Art: I’m just throwing up the junkballs now anyway.

Austin: [chuckles] Okay, great. I'm trying to see if anyone in the chat has answered this. I don’t think so. Yeah, we definitely did it that way, but I'm now seeing this where it’s like, the crisis should be...I'm trying to figure out if that was right, basically. If you can have one person— one person...sorry, multiple crises per scene, if that was correct. I was, for real, about to say out loud, “Let me check Google Plus.”

Keith: Sorry.

Sylvia: Pour one out.

Keith: RIP Google Plus.

Austin: Wait, did you do that? Is that you?

Keith: Is what me?

Austin: Did you shut it down? Why’d you apologize?

Keith: Oh, just like, sorry from my heart.

Austin: Right, okay.

Keith: To Google Plus.

Austin: Yeah. Yeah. For the sake of simplicity, let’s do this as just a Frankie thing. This is the pitching scene. And, you know, maybe there will be another sequence where it’s much clearer that there should be multiple crises, but this feels like the crisis is: can you pitch them out. You know? Does the thing work? So, tell me about Frankie pitching.

Art: Sure.

Austin: What’s your style?

Art: And just an aside.

Austin: Yeah.

Art: The whole Wikipedia article on For Love of the Game.

Austin: Yeah.

Art: And it sounds like a real piece of shit.

Austin: Uh huh?

Art: It just doesn’t sound like a good movie.

Keith: Sorry to [unclear ??? 40:05]

Art: If you’re listening to this—

Austin: Oh, I thought there was more coming. I thought you were like...I thought you were saying there was something specific in there worth noting besides it just sounds bad.

Keith: Well, I think thing worth noting is…

Austin: It sounds like shit.

Keith: You thought it sounded interesting because Sam Raimi directed it, maybe skip it.

Austin: Ah, gotcha. Yeah, mm-hmm.

Art: Or if you’re like, “Kevin Costner, John C. Reilly, J.K. Simmons, I'm in!” Don’t do it.

Austin: That does sound good.

Art: No, don’t.

Sylvia: By the way, happy birthday, Sam Raimi.

Austin: [laughing] Is it Sam Raimi’s birthday?

Art: [chuckles] Aw.

Sylvia: Yeah. [Austin laughs]

Keith: Oh, it is! 59.

Austin: Wow. Alright, so tell me about Frankie’s pitching style.

Art: Alright. I think it’s just like...I think it is he’s old, he doesn’t have his fastball anymore, so he’s kind of like a junkball pitcher at this point, and he’s throwing...he throws a lot of, you know, curve— [audio cuts out] He’s probably got like, uh...what is...it’s pronounced ephus? [pronounce: EE-fuss]

Austin: What is that?

Art: It’s a ball you throw with no spin.

Austin: Huh.

Keith: Huh.

Art: But I might be pronouncing it wrong.

Austin: I didn’t know that. I believe you.

Art: Eph-us? U-phus? Who knows.

Austin: How do you spell it?

Art: E-P-H-U-S?

Austin: [typing] Uh...well, that’s a Greek city that I spelled. I don't know what that is. Anyway, let’s keep moving. So, you step up to your...at the pitcher’s mound.

Art: Mm-hmm.

Austin: The first batter is there, who is...one, out the gate they’re bringing one of their heavy hitters.

Art: Mm-hmm.

Austin: And they are ready to knock this shit out of the park. Do you know the other aliens? Have you been briefed?

Art: Like, that makes sense.

Austin: Yeah, like they’ve pointed the—

Art: Why would the aliens not tell me about the other aliens?

Austin: Good question. Alright, so you know that this is gonna be one of the ones who always hits high and outside. I think we just jump right to the pitch? I think like, pitch one is a foul ball, right?

Art: Yeah.

Austin: Pitch two is a—

Art: Well, 'cause he’s throwing it real far high and outside. He’s throwing balls, basically, right?

Austin: Right, right. And they do. They swing on the first two. Two fouls in a row. So you’re close to getting a strikeout here.

Art: Yeah.

Austin: The audience is nervous. They really want the first up, the first up at bat, to go well. So, we’ve set the scene in motion. At this point, we should do the card mechanic to remind ourselves what the card mechanic is.

Art: Oh, you guys don’t want to take it for granted that they’re just hitting the ball?

Austin: No, right?

Art: Oh, I guess I don't know what the conflict is.

Austin: I guess so.

Art: I— yeah, okay.

Austin: I guess so, right? Is the conflict that you notice it? Or is the conflict—

Keith: It’d be a great way to notice it if like the fuckin’...the skin of the ball flies off the ball, [Austin chuckles] is an obvious home run, like just like a really, really, really long shot.

Austin: Yeah, so then maybe that’s what it is. Maybe the first one is just, they devastate it. It’s just gone. And is like, oh shit, what? And they are swinging high and outside, but they’re also hitting with such ferocity that if you give them anything regular, they are going to just destroy it.

Keith: It’s like if every other scene was shot as if it was a traditional American TV show, and this one pitch was shot like a sports anime.

Austin: Great. Yeah, totally. That is— it is like you’re changing genres. [chuckles] So then, what do you think—

Art: [unclear] has like the big exaggerated sweat drop.

Austin: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then is the crisis then like the second batter steps up and is like even more jacked than the first one. [Keith laughs] It’s like, oh fuck.

Art: Yeah, and I think there’s like...it’s like, oh, I could just— you know, doesn’t matter how hard you hit it, if you can’t hit it. I gotta like...I just gotta like dodge ‘em basically, right?

Austin: Yeah. Yeah.

Art: Or it’s like...I could rely on the team.

Austin: Right.

Art: And try to like...I could just start throwing it real low.

Austin: Totally. So this is a moment where...you know what? Here is maybe one of the things here, right? Is that the scene has been set in motion. Other players, other protagonists, can spend Fanmail to join the scene. Is this a situation where that would be a way to get them involved to address the crisis, you know what I mean? Is like, well, okay, now you’re— if you’re gonna lean on them, they should spend Fanmail to get involved so that they can affect the crisis.

Art: Right, but I guess it’s like...I want this to be also a Keith scene, like...we’ll induce a bunch of ground balls, and Keith Carberry can throw them out at first base.

[00:45:05]

Austin: Right, that’s what I mean, yeah.

Art: Keith Carberry double play.

Austin: Yeah, that’s what I mean. So that’s why I'm saying like, Keith, if you spend a Fanmail, you can then [Keith: okay] show up to a scene after it’s moving along but before the resolution.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: And yeah, so that’ll be a thing here, is like...and also, that connects to Keith, your drama, right? Which is like...oh wait, maybe you’re not so good at hitting, but maybe you could be good at fielding the ball, right?

Keith: I do like to swim in trash.

Austin: [chuckles] You do that. You do.

Keith: I like that. Does that help?

Austin: That does help.

Art: That is how baseball players learn how to field, yeah.

Austin: That does help.

Art: They swim in trash.

Austin: Yeah, alright. So, if you spend...you spend a Fanmail. Where does that go?

Keith: Sure. I don’t have access to my chips.

Austin: Oh, do you not have access to this?

Keith: No.

Austin: Alright, well, I'll move it.

Keith: I don’t think we did last time either. You were just like, “Eh, I'll do it.”

Austin: I was just dealing with it? Okay.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: I did change the card size for this time so that it fits better, which is good. Duh duh duh. Fanmail spent automatically returns to the budget. Alright. So, I get that back.

Keith: What do you do with your budget? That’s something that I didn’t pick up on when I was relistening.

Austin: That’s how I add cards right now.

Keith: Right.

Austin: So, I go up to 11 budget. So, here’s how scene resolution works. Done that, done that, done that. Build to a crisis. Deal the cards. Alright. [reading] “Once you’ve hit the crisis point, it’s time to play cards to see if the character either handles the pressure or succumbs to it. If it’s your scene, you draw against the Producer to see if things go well for your protagonist or not. If it’s not your scene but you have a protagonist there, you can draw cards against the Producer, but you don’t have to.” There we go. That is the— there is the you’re allowed to be a part of it, but you don’t have to be. Because it can go bad. It’s sort of like the Powered by the Apocalypse, you know, help or hinder rule. Where like, you can help, but if you do, there’s a chance you get hit by it, you know?

Keith: Mm-hmm.

Austin: Alright, so, I'm gonna shuffle cards here. Shuffle. Boop. You know what, let me recall and shuffle, just in case. Alright. Shuffled. Then, you deal one card to the Producer facedown. Then, I can get additional cards by spending budget, one point per card. I can spend up to five points to get additional cards. I'm gonna spend four points here.

Keith: Ugh.

Austin: So, I'm gonna drop from eleven down to...what what did I say, that’s...uh, why am I blanking on math? Seven? Yeah?

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Uh, good, whew. Then, protagonists, you’ll each draw equal to your current screen presence, which we didn’t talk about before, but everyone’s screen presence in this, the pilot episode, is two. Then, uh...so, let me get my four cards first. These all come out facedown. One, two, three, four. Then...each player gets cards equal to—

Keith: Should you have five cards? Because you had—

Austin: Oh, you’re right.

Keith: You start with one.

Austin: Plus I start with one.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Yeah, good call. Thank you, Keith!

Keith: You’re welcome. [Sylvia and Austin chuckle]

Austin: Um, teacher? Aren’t we supposed to have homework? Didn’t you say there was gonna be a pop quiz today?

Keith: [sarcastic] Oh, sorry, next time I'll just lie and cheat. [Austin laughs]

Sylvia: Thank you.

Austin: So, you now each get two. Or, I guess not each, because Sylvia, you’re not in this scene, right?

Sylvia: Yeah, I don’t...'cause I'm not a player, I'm just…

Austin: Right, you’re just the mascot. Yeah, duh.

Sylvia: Yeah, I...can I spend Fanmail— I guess—

Austin: Yes, you can influence this, for sure. So, alright, both of you get those.

Sylvia: Yeah.

Austin: Now, if you have traits that might apply, you can use them for one extra card each. Your traits that are relevant here, Keith, you have— end the call?

Keith: Maybe it’s a YouTube problem.

Austin: Oh, yeah, it came right back this time.

Keith: Okay. Cool.

Austin: But maybe that’s a bad sign. Maybe I'm about to lose connection? Yeah, I think we’re fine. It was just YouTube being weird. I didn’t lose internet connection. I didn’t lose...I didn’t lose...any connection at all.

Keith: That’s good.

Austin: But it does say “no data” on YouTube, so I'm gonna blame YouTube on this one. Anyway, Keith.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: You can use...oh, sorry, yeah. So, Keith, you don’t have...the only things that you have are…

Keith: I don’t have any applicable skills.

Austin: Yeah.

Keith: Yeah. Yeah.

Austin: Art, you have— sorry, Frankie, you used your Veteran Ballplayer twice?

Art: Yeah.

Austin: Unfortunately?

Art: I'm hoping to use Paulie Patio here.

Austin: The team owner. How are you gonna use that?

Art: The team owner.

Austin: What is your reasoning for using Paulie?

Art: I think, you know, I'm getting a sense that things are going badly.

Austin: Yeah.

Art: That something’s wrong. And I see Paulie Patio who we’ve had this quasi-adversarial relationship these past few days, and he’s— ‘cause he’s out in the owner’s box, and he’s cheering full-hearted for the team, and…

Austin: Okay. He’s like on board.

Art: Makes me feel like there’s like a unity here.

Austin: Okay. Sure, sure. Nice. I'll mark that in this current scene. Also, wait, what scene are we in? We are in…

Keith: Scene One of Act Three.

Austin: So that’s like...okay, so wait. One, two...so, this was the intro, right? Wait, fuck. Was the first...oh, you know how I can do this for sure? Alright, so, we are in…

Keith: This should be the seventh scene.

Austin: Two, three, four, five, six. No, it’s the eighth. Because we had an intro scene.

Keith: There was a separate intro.

Austin: There was a separate intro. And I know this because Sylvia has Jack marked in the previous— like, I can base it based on where Sylvia made her last thing. Boop, boop. I'm just gonna add these things here. That way we know exactly how many more scenes we have. Uh, one, two, three. One, two, three. Is that right for everybody? Mmm, not a—

Keith: I thought we only had three more scenes, including this one.

Austin: No, we have two acts, and each act is three scenes.

Keith: Oh. I thought that there was only three acts in the act.

Austin: Four acts. Nope.

Keith: Wow.

Austin: Uh huh. That’s why we gotta keep moving. That’s why I'm like, we should hustle.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Sorry, so you’re using Team Owner, right?

Art: Mm-hmm.

Austin: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Alright, so that gives you one extra card. Are you also spending Fanmail?

Keith: I don’t have any Fanmail to spend. I spent the Fanmail to get into the scene.

Austin: Yes, to get involved. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Keith: The question that I had was the audience pool. Is this what the audience pool does?

Austin: No, that is where you can— that is the pool from which you can award Fanmail after a scene.

Keith: Right.

Art: I'll spend my Fanmail, yeah.

Austin: Okay.

Art: I can’t interact with it, but I…

Austin: I'll just pull it. I will pull it down, or off thing for now. Or does it go back in? I think it goes back in. [slight pause] This is me checking to see if it goes back in. Uh. Spend as much Fanmail as you want. Any cards bought with Fanmail that count as points become budget for me. Oh, do you know what it is? It’s, uh...

Keith: It’s red cards.

Austin: Yeah, it’s red cards, but it’s…my budget becomes new audience pool.

Keith: Oh, right.

Austin: When I spend budget, spent budget goes into audience pool. So, I'm just gonna make four over here. I'm gonna put those in as soon as the scene is over.

Keith: Got it.

Austin: Okay. So then, you spent your one, right, Art?

Art: Mm-hmm.

Austin: So, I'll put that over here, 'cause that needs to be separate, Fanmail cards. Sylvia, did you say you were going to?

Sylvia: So, if I spend Fanmail here, it would just sort of help them with this challenge?

Austin: Yeah, it’ll give them one more card that they can...that they will…

Sylvia: Yeah, I'll spend one of mine here. I have two of them.

Austin: Okay. Are you giving it to Art or Keith?

Sylvia: Um...I will give this to Art, 'cause we established Keith had a lot of success last time. [chuckles]

Austin: Okay. Boom. Okay. Are we ready to flip these cards? [chuckles]

Keith: I want to be clear, in case anyone listening forgot. My success was all “No, but…”, the second to worst thing that you could get. [Austin and Keith laugh]

Sylvia: I'm trying to get us a “Yes, but,” at this point, you know?

Keith: That’s true. I did get one “Yes, but,” but you were the only person that got a “Yes, and,” the whole last game. No one else got one.

Sylvia: Oh, damn.

Austin: Damn.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Damn. Alright. Alright, I'm gonna flip these. Can you interact with your cards?

Keith: Uh, yes.

Austin: Okay. You right click them, [Keith: yeah] and then you hit Flip. Boom.

Keith: Bad.

Sylvia: Oh no.

Austin: [chuckles] Oh, boy.

Keith: Bad, bad, bad, bad.

Austin: Bad. Alright. Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Art has more reds than me.

Art: I win!

Austin: So. Alright, count up all the red cards, hearts, and diamonds. I have two. I have two hearts. Art, you have three hearts. Keith, you have no hearts. Or, no reds, rather.

Keith: Right.

Austin: Look at the highest card you have. Aces are high. And your highest card is— sorry, and then it’s alphabetical order: clubs, diamonds, hearts, spades. So, ace of clubs is high, then ace of diamonds, then ace of hearts, than ace of spades. I have the only ace out, right? Yes. So…

Art: Yes.

Austin: I have high card. But, if you have more red cards than the Producer, and your highest card is higher than the Producer, that’s “Yes, and.” In this case, no, it’s more red cards than the Producer, but the Producer’s highest card beats yours, the answer is “Yes, but.” And because it’s a plot scene, this is: Art, you’re getting “Yes, you get what you want, but your Impulse is provoked.” And Keith, you’re getting “No, you don’t get what you want, and your Impulse is provoked.”

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: So...Art, let’s talk about what this looks like for Frankie.

Art: Yeah, I don’t...the unsupportive Impulse is a hard one to do when the scene you’ve painted is about getting the rest of the team involved [Austin laughs] in the game here.

Austin: Is it like…

Art: Like, he grinds, and he like...into a double play, and Keith Carberry does a really good, you know, diving...like he dives to get the ball and turns the double play, and like...is just not— and just, Frankie does not acknowledge him at all.

Austin: It could be both ways, right? 'Cause Keith, your Impulse is you close up, right?

Keith: Right.

Austin: So like, you don’t get— well, also, Keith does not get what he wants, so that suggests he misses the ground ball.

Art: Oh, so how do I turn this into— so like, Keith misses the ground ball and like the third baseman gets it or whatever.

Austin: Yeah. And that’s—

Art: What position do you play, Keith?

Keith: Uh, oh, I don't know. Heh, shortstop. [laughs]

Austin: Great. Keith plays shortstop.

Art: So like—

Austin: Yeah.

Art: Keith dives for it and misses it. The third baseman gets it. The third baseman turns a double play, and Frankie just starts yelling at Keith?

Austin: [groan of sympathy]

Keith: [groan of distaste]

Austin: [groans] That’s brutal. [laughs] What’s— give me a taste.

Art: Um, just like…

Art (as Frankie): [harshly] What’s the matter with you? You can’t hit. You can’t catch. What are you even doing out here? There’s no antiques out here. [Austin chuckles] I ain’t that old yet. [Keith laughs] [Austin groans sympathetically]

Art: Antique is like 70, right? That’s when something’s an antique?

Austin: Is that how that works?

Art: I don't know. There’s certainly— antique has a definition. I know that.

Austin: God. As a reminder, any…

Art: Hundred. An antique has to be a hundred years old.

Austin: Okay. Gotcha.

Keith: Wow, really? That’s old.

Austin: That’s pretty old, yeah. What did I say before? It’s red— any successful Fanmail cards become budget for me again, right?

Art: Oh, so both of mine...

Keith: It says any red Fanmail cards.

Austin: Yeah, it was the two successful ones, so yeah.

Keith: Right.

Austin: So those two there do go back into...yeah, budget. But, yes, but my spent budget goes back in, so that’s a bunch more in the audience pool. I think that’s the end of that scene. Does anyone want to give anyone else Fanmail?

Art: Hey, Keith, good effort.

Keith: Thanks.

Austin: I'll give you a Fanmail. Boom. And I will recall all these cards and shuffle. So, things are looking kind of in the middle then, right? It’s like, you managed—

Art: Two outs.

Austin: Two outs in this first inning. Or, you said it was a double—

Keith: Oh—

Austin: Yeah, go a head.

Keith: I can give Art a Fanmail too, right?

Austin: Oh, you totally can. Everyone can give one Fanmail.

Keith: I was like, I was in the scene so I shouldn’t—

Austin: No, you totally should.

Keith: But that’s not exactly not how it works, yeah.

Austin: Yes. Definitely. Alright, so, Art, that was your scene. Sylvia and Keith. Give me some more—

Art: I'm gonna go feed the dog.

Austin: Okay. Can you hear, still? Do you want us to take a break?

Art: Um, just don't do anything that involves me.

Austin: Will do.

Sylvia: I was also muted, because I was sneezing, and I wanted to say: could I also give Art a Fanmail because of that antique line.

Austin: Yes, of course.

Sylvia: Okay.

Austin: [chuckles] Oop, that goes there. Boom.

Art: Okay. Be right back.

Sylvia: So, we were doing a scene with either Keith or I?

Austin: It’s either you or Keith. Yep.

Sylvia: Okay. Um…

Keith: I have a scene idea. I don't know if it needs Art though.

Austin: Yeah.

Sylvia: Yeah. My only idea is like more based around Keith than Lou-Ellen, just 'cause it’s a little hard for me to think of like...aside from cutaway gags, like…

Austin: Oh.

Sylvia: If a TV show would really go focus on the mascot right now.

Austin: Well, maybe we zero back in on a thing that Keith introduced, right? Which is like, part of what we learned from that last sequence is that the Bloomington Blooms, the aliens on the Bloomington Blooms, are cheating. Right?

Sylvia: Mm-hmm.

Austin: They are using their full alien strength. Could you get involved with trying to stop— like reveal that or interfere in some— record it, like prove it?

Sylvia: Yeah, um…

Austin: Get the alien counsel involved, something like that?

Sylvia: Oh, man. Yeah, I think if we get...oh my god, there was a— what was the...so, I'm not super knowledgeable about baseball, but I remember recently, i think, there was a like...I'm not even sure if it was a controversy, but people were looking into something about like balls being made in a different way that makes them fly further.

[1:00:18]

Austin: Mmm.

Sylvia: I think I remember something about that.

Keith: Cork balls.

Sylvia: It could have been on the side of— actually a bat problem.

Austin: I'd believe that.

Sylvia: I don't know.

Austin: Sure, absolutely. People learn how to cheat many different ways in sports.

Sylvia: Exactly. So, I think if we like find out that they’ve been like switching the balls we’re supposed to pitch with with like these super balls that get hit really hard— like really far when they’re hit...that could be something.

Austin: So, how are you— how is Lou-Ellen investigating? Like, let’s start with you being like, “I think they’re cheating.” Right?

Sylvia: Yeah, so...I think this is happening probably...they—

Austin: We can go abstract on the game, right? The game is…

Sylvia: Yeah.

Austin: A long game of baseball. I don't know how long a minor league game is, but probably pretty similar.

Keith: I think it’s still nine innings.

Austin: Yeah, okay.

Sylvia: They’ve been tied for a while, though.

Austin: Yeah.

Sylvia: Well, I was just thinking if Jack T’Hell is like the designated hitter, he could be coming with me, if he doesn’t need to be up there anytime soon. Like, if they’re— if this is happening concurrently with the pitching, maybe?

Austin: Got it. I mean, it might be a situation where it’s even funnier if it’s like...Jack is coming— Jack’s turn in the lineup is coming up, but has agreed to sneak away with you, and people in the booth are like, you know—

Austin (as announcer): Viewers at home, we don’t know where Jack T. Hall has gone, but let me tell ya, he better get back soon. Because it’s gonna be his time up at the plate soon, and these Bluff City Blackjacks really need him.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Jack, I promise we’ll be back in time, just breathe.

Austin (as Jack): [makes nervous sound]

Sylvia: He’s very nervous right now.

Austin (as Jack): I'm very nervous.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Okay, so. I saw the mascot like bringing this weird bag into the locker room earlier. And you may be asking, “Lou-Ellen, why were you spending so much time focused on this mascot? You already— you showed the world what a fraud they are.” But, I was—

Austin (as Jack): That is exactly what I was about to say. Lou-Ellen, how did you know?

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): I am...I am a journalist. I am an investigator, and more importantly, I am a truth-teller, and so for my...my documentary, I needed to get footage of them crying in the locker room. But, instead, [Austin chuckles] I discovered that they were, you know, there’s some— I think there’s some shenanigans going on over there, and I need you to help me get into their locker room and not get, um, mothnapped.

Austin (as Jack): [sighs] You know...you know me and you are tight and I'll do anything for you, but um...it’s gotta be quick, okay?

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): As quick as we can be.

Austin (as Jack): Okay.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): I'm super fast. You know that.

Austin (as Jack): Very. Let’s go.

Austin: And so it’s just like montage shots of the two of you sneaking through the hallways as…

Sylvia: It’s very Scooby Doo.

Austin: It’s very Scooby Doo, yeah.

Sylvia: In my envisioning of it, like...they’re like not actually very good at being sneaky, but it’s just a lot of hiding behind corners, [Austin chuckles] and having okay timing.

Austin: Totally. And I think like it’s cut between that and the game is continuing, right? And so it’s like, pitcher at the mound throwing the ball, and then like, you know, the batting order keeps coming up, [Sylvia chuckles] and it’s like, alright, this person was struck out. This person, you know, made a run. This person got thrown out on third, and like, Jack’s name’s getting closer and closer to needing to be up. Also, there’s at least one moment, here, like where you’re trying to sneak around a corner— we cut from sneaking around the locker room area to back in the field to back in the back rooms and back in the field, and then we cut back one more time, and it’s like Jack signing an autograph for a security guard, you know? [Sylvia and Austin chuckle] Then we cut away again. Then we come back and you’re finally at the locker room. The crisis here is definitely that you’re in the locker room looking for something, looking for proof. And you hear footsteps coming or something, right? This is a plot scene, probably, right?

Sylvia: Yeah, probably.

Austin: This is definitely— we’re like deep in plot mode.

Sylvia: We’re trying to sort of like— this is involved in winning the game.

Austin: Yes.

Sylvia: I feel like anything under that umbrella we can call plot relevant.

Austin: Definitely. I'm gonna spend two budget here, so I’m gonna have three cards.

Keith: Can I ask real quick the difference between a plot and character scene mechanically?

Austin: Uh, nothing.

Keith: Got it.

Austin: It’s all about what the focus of the...I mean, that’s not true. It’s not nothing. The mechanical difference is how you read the results. In a character-based scene, a “Yes” means you’ve resisted your Impulse. Whereas a “No” means you give in to your Impulse. So if the interesting thing about the scene is it doesn’t matter what the result is, but it’s about how the character handles the result—

Keith: Right.

Austin: The thing your interested in leaving up for grabs is whether the character like gives into the thing they’re trying to push down inside of themselves—or, you know, regulate inside of themselves—then that’s a character scene. You know? It’s not “does the team win,” it’s “how do you react to losing,” right? Whereas—

Keith: Oh, I see the chart right here now that I—

Austin: Yeah. Whereas the plot side is: is the character going to get the thing they want? The specific like action or outcome, you know?

Keith: Right, right. So, character scenes, the major thing is the Impulse, and the minor thing is the intent and interactions.

Austin: Yes.

Keith: And then it’s flipped for plot.

Austin: Correct.

Keith: ‘Cause the— okay. Got it.

Austin: Correct.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: You might win the game but you get, you know, you become a huge braggart afterwards because you weren’t able to control your Impulse, whatever it is, you know?

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: So, Sylvia, you start with two cards.

Sylvia: Yeah. And I think for this one I'm gonna use my Jack T’Hell connection. For this one.

Austin: Yeah. Is that your last one?

Sylvia: Uh, how many times can I use that?

Austin: Oh, you in fact cannot use it.

Sylvia: I can’t use that.

Austin: You already used it. So, Jack is here in the scene, obviously.

Sylvia: Yeah.

Austin: You have your nerd points, still, and your showrunner boss alien points still.

Sylvia: You know what? I'd love to use my nerd points.

Austin: Alright. How are you using your nerd points?

Keith: Could you use both of those? Those both seem applicable.

Austin: Totally. You can use as many of these as you want.

Sylvia: Mmm.

Keith: This is you being the showrunner by like managing—

Sylvia: Yeah, actually, the boss alien one might work better, because this is like, oh, I'm getting some very good footage from this, you know?

Austin: [chuckles] Do you in fact call in like a— do you basically call them up and be like, “Take a look at this?” [Sylvia chuckles] Like, livestream style?

Sylvia: I'm like on...on like whatever their equivalent of a cell phone is.

Austin: Yes.

Sylvia: With like holding it between my shoulder and my cheek while filming this and also looking through a bag for these… [chuckles]

Austin: Totally.

Sylvia: Yeah. It’s great.

Austin: Yeah. I think they’re like garbled— or, not garbled, the whole thing we suggested with them was there’s like a council, there’s like a shadowy X-COM-style, [Sylvia: mm-hmm] you know, overlord-style thing.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: And so they are like, uh...what is— is Lou-Ellen Llewellyn your given name? Is that the name you use?

Sylvia: Yeah.

Austin: Okay.

Sylvia: I think so.

Austin: And so they’re like, um...and also you were— you were like— the whole thing with you is you were already on Earth, right? You were the nibling of an established mothman, like a cryptid mothman.

Sylvia: Mm-hmm.

Austin: Alright, so—

Sylvia: The one that we know and love.

Austin: Yes, of course. Our moth— right, the culture’s mothman.

Sylvia: Uh huh.

Keith: Arthur from The Tick.

Austin: [doubtful] Mmm…

Keith: That the mothman we know and love?

Austin: No. The mothman. You know, from Fallout 76, everyone’s favorite… [Keith laughs]

Austin (as councilperson): [voice muffled] Lou-Ellen. Why have you called us?

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): [enthusiastic] Hey, so. We’ve got some really interesting and fun developments. I thought you guys would want an update. So, first of all, we’ve got another group of aliens trying to sabotage us! Made for some really entertaining stuff. I'll be sending you guys a rough cut soon. Anyway, just wondering if you guys would be interested in this. Right now I'm shooting— I guess it’s kind of like found footage, first person—

Austin: [chuckles] In the locker room, literally— yeah.

Sylvia: Yeah. [chuckles]

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): And I was just wondering, you know, if you thought it would fit. I know it’s a little bit more experimental than the typical documentary stuff we’ve been doing, but, you know, Blair Witch really pushed the envelope, and I think we can do the same here.

Austin: And I think at that moment, Jack says like:

Austin (as Jack): Lou-Ellen, come and look at this.

Austin: Let’s do some— are you spending any other points, here? Is anyone spending points here? You spent— so, wait, you got one more for...you got one more for the board. You didn’t spend any of your nerds, right?

Sylvia: No, I didn’t.

Austin: Alright, so that’s just over here. And did you spend Fanmail? You’re holding your Fanmail.

Sylvia: I'll spend this Fanmail too, yeah.

Austin: Okay. Boom, I'll pull that over there. Put one of those there. Is anyone else spending Fanmail? Art, are you back?

Art: Mm-hmm.

Austin: Alright, are you— is anyone spending Fanmail on this moment?

Keith: Uh, no. Um...no.

Austin: Okay. Ready to reveal?

Sylvia: Uh, yeah.

Austin: Alright. Flip cards. Oh. [laughs] This last one better be a red— it is! Okay!

Sylvia: What’s up!

Austin: I got two reds and the ace of clubs, the highest ace. This is at least the second time I've drawn it. You got three reds, which means you— this is a “Yes, but.” This is a “You get what you want, but your Impulse is provoked.” What was your Impulse again?

Sylvia: My Impulse is high-strung.

Austin: Okay.

Sylvia: So…

Austin: So, what do you find, what did Jack find and does the council now see?

Sylvia: I think...it’s gotta be something more than just stuff they were using to cheat with baseball, right?

Austin: Yeah, yeah. Is it—

Sylvia: Like that’s the twist here.

Austin: Yeah, totally. Well, no, 'cause the twist is that your Impulse is provoked. You get what you want, right? So, you—

Sylvia: Well, yeah. I guess I just mean like in terms of the twist that provokes the Impulse, right?

Austin: That provokes your Impulse. Yeah, okay.

Sylvia: Yeah.

Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

Sylvia: Um…

Austin: Maybe—

Sylvia: Just think of what it could be.

Austin: Is it something tied to your Issue? So, your Issue is the pressure that the show is good, because if the show is bad, which is to say if the alien audience isn’t convinced that the Earth is dope and that Earthlings are dope and that they shouldn’t be eradicated, they might get eradicated. So what if it’s like something really like disconcerting or scary about Earth that they have found that sets off this pressure? Do you know what I mean?

Sylvia: Okay, yeah.

Austin: What if it’s like— what if Jack is like:

Austin (as Jack): I found this holo recording.

Austin: And then hits play on it, and it’s something terrible.

Sylvia: Oh, wow— yeah, but like...then it’s just like an existential crisis of like, “oh god, I have to show this, because I have to have—”

Austin: Right.

Sylvia: You know, I have to have transparency. I have to be honest with this.

Austin: They’re on the phone with you as you speak, the video phone with you as you speak, but also...and also, yeah, you would have also have found that they were cheating, right?

Sylvia: Oh, yeah.

Austin: You would have also found...it’s like you found their restraining, their strength restraining belts and the...the correct baseballs that you’re supposed to be using, and also in that locker...some other thing. Again, it’s 2007, 2008, is when this game takes place. [Sylvia makes thoughtful sound] What is the thing that would depress aliens enough to be like, “Man, fuck Earth.” I mean, there’s plenty. [chuckles]

Sylvia: I'm trying to think.

Keith: Um, a history book. [Austin laughs]

Sylvia: Yeah.

Austin: I think they know all that stuff, right? It’s...the show is a show that is airing in America, which means they have to pretend that the history of America is not as fucked as we know it is, you know?

Keith: Right.

Austin: But we are— but it is a period piece.

Keith: Because they have no stakes in…

Austin: Right. Yes. Is it… [chuckles] Ice Cream Jones with the Macross pull says proto-culture, very good. Um… [sighs] I'm trying to think. Or is there a totally different angle here that would have made Lou-Ellen feel high strung?

Sylvia: I think...the other angle could be like discovering that they are also being commissioned to do like the opposite of Lou-Ellen?

Austin: Oh, like we haven’t— like, Lou-Ellen didn’t know about them? The thing is we did know…

Sylvia: We do know that, right.

Austin: We do know that they’re aliens, because in the last scene Frankie says that...Frankie said that he knew they were aliens.

Sylvia: Oh, well, I know that they’re aliens, but more specifically that they are also filming a documentary [Austin: oh] with the purpose of being “we need to blow up the Earth.”

Austin: Right. Right. Whereas you thought they were just other aliens here to play baseball.

Sylvia: Yeah.

Austin: Yeah. Okay, I kinda like that. So what is— so it’s just like...it is just like a montage of like news events from the last 20 years. Or something, right?

Sylvia: Oh god. Yeah, no, it’s something...it’s real bad.

Austin: And then it’s the big rose mascot like on the recording, the one you beat up. Or, the bouquet mascot. Being like:

Austin (as mascot): As you can see, Directorate, there’s nothing redeeming about this planet or its people. We advise an immediate extermination.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): [shocked, protesting] Nothing— nothing redeeming— let me tell you what’s nothing redeeming! There’s nothing redeeming about your editing style, bucko! Oh god. Okay. I need to—

Austin (as mascot): This is a recording. I don't know why you’re responding to it.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): [sighs nervously]

Austin: Jack is like…

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): But— I just—

Austin (as Jack): Listen. Lou-Ellen...I gotta get back out there. I'm up at the plate in...oh boy, I gotta run.

Austin: And just like, jets. And leaves you with all this stuff.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): [dramatic] Abandoned in my time of need!

Austin: [laughs] Alright. Keith, it is your scene, as the baseball game continues.

Keith: Oh, this is rough. Okay.

Austin: Also, wait, any Fanmail for that scene.

Keith: Oh, yeah, I'll give...yeah.

[1:15:00]

Austin: You’ll give Sylvia a Fanmail.

Keith: I'll give Sylvia a Fanmail.

Austin: Cool.

Keith: Yeah, totally.

Art: Yeah, me too.

Austin: Alright.

Sylvia: Thank you.

Keith: So, the...so…

Austin: Whoops, I should have deleted these. There we go.

Keith: So, while this is going on, the baseball game is also just happening.

Austin: Yeah. You tell me what the score is. Like, I think it’s probably even, right? Because that’s how…that’s how…

Keith: Oh, you think it’s even?

Austin: It’s...well...unless you—

Keith: They’ve got super home run batters going on.

Austin: Mm-hmm. I was trying to respect the result of the Art scene, which is that like—

Keith: Oh.

Austin: You’re keeping up with them but struggling, and—

Keith: In my head it was like, instead of being 10 to 0, it’s like 8 to 5.

Austin: I think it’s— it has to be close. It has to be like one—

Keith: That’s close-ish.

Austin: I know it’s close-ish, but like...it has to be within one. It’s TV, and the stakes of Art’s— not roll, but Art’s turn that Art succeeded at [Keith: yeah] was whether or not he could successfully pitch, right?

Keith: That’s true. Okay, so, regardless, my idea’s the same. We’ve gotta pull ahead.

Austin: Yes.

Keith: You can’t win on a tie, it’s baseball. It doesn’t work. Also, we were not told “if you don’t lose, then you’ll keep your job.” It was “if you don’t win, then you’re losing it.”

Austin: Yes.

Keith: Those are Frankie’s stakes, so...I was thinking—

Austin: And at this point, Frankie’s been yelling at you.

Keith: Right.

Austin: Which is bad.

Keith: Well, I was trying to switch— I want to switch up how we’re playing, or a least how I'm playing.

Austin: Sure.

Keith: In the first act...uh, second act. In the second act— no, first act. [chuckles] In the first act, I was doing my batting practice, right?

Austin: Yeah.

Keith: And I was alternating between big swings and bunts.

Austin: You were. That’s true.

Keith: I was practicing both. And then later on— actually, I think, two times later on, Frankie told me that I couldn’t even bunt. Which is his fault, ‘cause he’s the one who’s supposed to be teaching me. But I think that if I'm going to be a help at all, I've gotta stop trying to swing for the fences and start trying to just reliably get on base.

Austin: Okay.

Keith: And you don’t need any muscles really at all for bunting. [Austin laughs] You just have to hold the bat there.

Austin: Even your little muscles will do.

Keith: Even my little ones.

Austin: Yeah.

Keith: So, I think I'm gonna try like actual, real bunts.

Austin: Okay, what’s this look like?

Keith: We’re playing 1920s baseball now.

Austin: What’s this look like as a TV show? Like, when we cut away from the locker room and come back to you, how does the audience see you stepping up to the plate or like what is the— you know, as a TV show, what’s this look like?

Keith: I think it looks like...the funniest thing about a bunt is when, you know—

Austin: Well, I mean even before you bunt. Just like, Keith comes out of the—

Keith: No, no, no, this is part of it.

Austin: Okay, okay.

Keith: This is part of it. I have to wrap back around.

Austin: Okay.

Keith: The funniest part of a bunt is when—which I think is an inherently funny way to get on base—is like the second where it goes— 'cause you don't want anybody to know you’re about to bunt until the second that it happens.

Austin: Right.

Keith: So the moment where it looks like they’re going to like swing the bat, and then instead they just like hold the ball and like boop! and then it like, you know, goes up the...the line? What’s the thing between the bases? Whatever. [someone chuckles]

Austin: Like a line drive. What is the...but that’s not a— a line drive is a drive, not a…

Keith: No, a line drive’s just a straight drive.

Art: A line drive is describing the path of the ball in a line.

Austin: Yeah, that’s not…

Art: The lines off the side of the field are different.

Austin: That’s a different thing, yeah.

Keith: Okay. Well, the path of the base— you know, the area that people bunt into, like up third or towards first like halfway.

Austin: Yes.

Keith: But...so, I think it plays into that and tries to frame it in a way where like, here he comes, Keith is gonna try— this is where he goes and he does the big swing and he gets the good hit, but then, you know, the frame immediately lowers from like a— or, raises from like a nice...you know the triumphant camera angle?

Austin: Yeah, of course.

Keith: Switches from that to a very sort of stark like [clicks tongue] bunt up the— like that’s the— but from the batter’s box to the— or, from the dugout to home plate, like that’s the frame, is like—

Austin: Right.

Keith: Like he’s gonna go and swing for it big but doesn’t, bunts.

Austin: Alright. So I'm gonna spend two budget, which means I have three cards.

Keith: Mm-hmm.

Austin: Six budget left. You start with two.

Keith: I'm using my Fanmail, absolutely.

Austin: Okay. Anyone else using Fanmail to help?

Sylvia: I'll use one of mine.

Austin: Okay.

Sylvia: Just got two of them, might as well.

Austin: Bop. Bop.

Keith: [sighs] I don’t— none of my things apply, [Austin: yeah] unless I've been getting extra coaching from Sal.

Austin: Oh, that’s actually possible.

Keith: Yeah?

Austin: You know, that— Sal is one of your traits. And we did establish that Sal was studying tips from some sort of scouting report or [chuckles] minor league baseball magazine or something. [Keith laughs] Right?

Keith: Minor league monthly?

Austin: Yeah. So, it’s possible that we get like a...before you go out, or we get sometime earlier in this sequence, Sal was like in the dugout with you whispering something in your ear, you know?

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Or being like...you know, the—

Keith: “No one’s ever bunted to them before.”

Austin: Ever! Not once!

Keith: [chuckles] They could’ve— they probably know what a bunt is, but no one’s ever bunted— oh no, Sal doesn’t know about the aliens.

Austin: Does not know about the aliens.

Keith: Right.

Austin: But does know that you’re like little compared to most people, in terms of your baseball playing stature, not—

Keith: Right.

Austin: Doesn’t know that you’re a tiny alien. But does know— and I definitely think he’s like:

Austin (as Sal): Us little guys gotta stick together.

Keith: [laughs] Okay. Alright. I'll give my— I'll allow it, yeah. Give me another card.

Austin: [laughs] That’s how it works. Alright, one, there’s Act One. There’s Act Two. This is the last scene of Act Three, right?

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Alright, that is your last use of Sal. You do have one more— call on your friends with call-in show trait one more time.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Alright. But that is not a— wait one second. Wait, wait. These two need to be over here.

Keith: Oh, they have— okay.

Austin: Yeah, 'cause those two are your— the two that we drew for your...what do we call it? For your...your Fanmail. Fanmail cards have to be over the Fanmail thing, so that I know whether or not they’re back in my budget.

Keith: Okay. I only had one Fanmail token.

Austin: Sylvia gave you another one.

Keith: Oh! Great. Thank you, Sylvia.

Austin: That’s why you have five cards.

Sylvia: No problem.

Austin: Alright. Ready?

Keith: Alright, ready.

Austin: Let’s flip ‘em.

Keith: Red four, black nine.

Austin: Fuck, I drew three red.

Keith: Red five. [Austin and Sylvia groan] King.

Austin: You’ve already lost.

Keith: I have already lost.

Austin: Oh, but you have high card.

Keith: I do have the high card.

Austin: You have the high card. You have the high card, but I have three reds. I don’t get any budget from this, which is good for you, because you didn’t draw any reds with your Fanmail cards.

Keith: Right.

Austin: But I did get three. So, when the Producer— or, sorry. If you have as many or fewer red cards as the Producer, but your higher card beats the Producer, the answer is “No, but.” This is another plot scene. We didn’t say that. We should have said that. It sounded like it was a plot scene, though?

Keith: Yeah, yeah, it was a plot scene.

Austin: So—

Keith: This mechanic is a little weird, because a lot of scenes are both at the same time or almost—

Austin: The book gets into that.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: If you read the book, the book is not blind to that fact. It does not ignore that fact. But it is about framing stuff.

Keith: That’s good. It’s definitely about which one’s more on a sliding scale.

Austin: The key is that what we should be doing is addressing it before we reveal cards, at the very least. Like, are we sure this is a plot scene?

Keith: Yeah, it’s a plot scene.

Austin: But it was, right? This is like— we’re not talking about your closed-offishness, we’re talking about what you wanted from the scene.

Keith: Right.

Austin: So, no, you don’t get what you want. But you keep it together.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: So, tell me what that looks like.

Keith: Um...the cards were pretty close, right? So, I think that I bunt, and it goes where I want it to go, and I run to the base, and I get thrown out, and it’s close.

Austin: Okay.

Keith: I think it’s close, and I do feel okay about it, even though I'm out.

Austin: Right. You don’t like…

Keith: I think it feels like—

Austin: Like, everyone claps for you, 'cause it’s a good— is it actually like, is it a thing where it’s almost a feat of fielding that they get you out at the last second?

Keith: Yeah, yeah. Or, yeah, just like, you know, fractions of a second. If it had been three inches further away, maybe I could’ve— or, I probably could have gotten it. But I think the big thing is like, oh this feels like an option.

Austin: Right.

Keith: For Keith.

Austin: Is it enough for someone to have argued with the umpire about it, you know what I mean? Not the umpire, the uh...is that what they’re— are they all called umpires?

Keith: Yeah, umpires. Yeah, they’re all called umpires.

Austin: Okay. Is it enough— like, is it close enough for someone to like get in an umpire’s face over this?

Keith: You know, a couple weeks ago, I watched a lot of people getting thrown out of baseball games by umpires, and so, yeah, absolutely, they will... [Austin chuckles] Umpires will throw someone out of a game for anything, so yes, I'm saying yeah.

Austin: But do you? You don’t, because...well…

Keith: I— no.

Austin: No, okay.

Keith: No, I think that I know that I was close, but if you were like the manager in the dugout and you were watching it, it maybe could have looked like I got it and I was safe. But if I don’t push it, then they probably wouldn't push it either.

Austin: I'm thinking about how to—

Keith: And if I'm also—

Austin: How do we wrap this act where you've now not gotten on base and done the big heroic thing, but you've kept it together in such a way that like you are overcoming your Impulse to close up. But also the act is ending so it didn’t go well for you?

Keith: Right. Um… [sighs] Is it boring to just say, like, I just don't look like I'm angry and pouting for the first time in a while?

Austin: No, I think there’s plenty of ways to show it where like you come back in and high five everybody in the dugout, you know what I mean?

Keith: Yeah, yeah. Smiling and…

Austin: I'm almost looking at Frankie here. Frankie, is this a situation where like, you feel like you could give Keith the pat on the back or like are you still pissed?

Art: A pat on the back and like, you know:

Art (as Frankie): Next time square your shoulders.

Austin: Right. Yes. Which actually pays of literally a thing you said during the training sequence in Act One. Where you like get that approval at least.

Keith: And if I was still being closed off, I would’ve said what I said last time, which was,

Keith (as Keith): [defensive] My shoulders were square!

Austin: Right. And this time you say:

Keith (as Keith): Thanks. Yeah.

Austin: [chuckles] Got it.

Keith: But in a good way.

Austin: Thanks.

Art (as Frankie): Both shoulders facing.

Austin: “Thanks, yeah.” Cuts to commercial. [chuckles]

Austin (as newscaster): Tonight, on the 11 p.m. news! [Sylvia laughs] Did you hear this thing about—

Art: Will they ever find Young Sheldon’s killer? [Austin and Keith laugh]

Austin: Tonight on the news, time paradox.

Art: That’s CBS, right?

Austin: Yeah, uh huh. I think we said this was an ABC show, but yes.

Art: Mmm. Well…CBS could be covering it up.

Keith: Sorry, did you not mean the Sheldon from Garfield?

Austin: [scoffs] No! [Keith laughs]

Art: There can’t be a young Sheldon from Garfield. [Austin laughs] He’s in an egg.

Keith: Pre-legs? [laughs]

Austin: What a great show that would be. Alright, so…

Keith: [laughing] Everyone has to protect this egg. [Austin chuckles] I'm sorry. Ahh.

Austin: Alright. We are moving in.

Art: You loved that joke. [Keith laughs]

Austin: You’re allowed! You’re allowed to love jokes, right here at Friends at the Table. Alright, here we go. We are going into the final act, the fourth act here, where we will resolve the problem, one way or another. There are lots of ways to resolve problems, I guess, right? I will read from the book as they describe Act Four. “Act Four provides the climax of the episode. A final confrontation with the problem. In this act, somebody wins, and somebody loses, and most often, that happens as a result of the protagonists’ choices. Both the main story and the subplots should reach a point where, although they may not be resolved for good, someone involved has either gotten or not gotten what they wanted. Who wants to kick off Act Four?

Keith: We need like at least one more baseball one, right?

Austin: Oh yeah, right?

Keith: Yeah. Like, yeah, that definitely wasn’t the end of the game.

Austin: Basically, what do we want to hit? So like— and also, I'm gonna get to narrate a deneumant scene, because there is no spotlight player. If there was a spotlight player, that player would basically get to do an aftermath after the final of these scenes, but I will instead. What— so, what are we gonna need? We’re gonna need another baseball scene. We’re gonna need something that extends or establishes that the question of whether or not the Earth will be destroyed at the end of the episode and whether or not Frankie gets fired, right? 'Cause we kind of just got resolution to some degree on Keith.

Keith: Mmm.

Austin: Or, in other words, we shouldn’t now wrap around to then someone— to Keith being closed off again, or something. Though the dice could show that.

Art: [chuckles] So Keith isn’t allowed to be in cards anymore?

Austin: No, that’s the thing, right?

Keith: If it happens, we’ll figure out how to play it.

Austin: Yeah, we’ll figure it out. So, who has a scene idea? [pause] [Keith makes thoughtful sound]

Art: [audio cuts out —beginning of it. Can I get just like a cliffnotes of the Sylvia scene I missed?

Austin: Oh! Yes. Sylvia, do you want to describe it?

Sylvia: Yeah, so, the...my scene was discovering that the other team is cheating with like juiced baseballs that they’ve swapped out our regular balls for, so when they hit they’re more likely to sort of get either an extra base hit or a run. And, when I was doing that, I discovered that the other alien crew is also making a documentary, but with the express purpose of destroying Earth, as opposed to saving it.

Art: Hate when that happens.

Sylvia: Yeah. [Austin chuckles]

Art: Um, but have we foiled their cheating? Could we have a foiling their cheating scene?

Austin: We could have a foiling their cheating scene. We could definitely have that, yes.

Sylvia: 'Cause I got a “Yes, but” on that, right?

Austin: Yeah, totally.

[1:30:00]

Sylvia: So, I did discover it, and like find out about it.

Austin: Yes, 'cause Jack was like, “Oh my god, look, here’s the real balls [Sylvia: mm-hmm] that we’re supposed to be using.”

Sylvia: So we could start a scene with like me giving the like actual baseballs [Austin: right] back to...I swear to god, I almost called him beanbag. Uh, Beanball.

Austin: Just like showing up with a duffel bag over your back. Again, as a reminder, your character, despite being a moth person, is always in the mascot suit.

Sylvia: Mm-hmm!

Austin: And the mascot we described as being kind of an old-timey man, sort of like a cowboy, with a cowboy hat on, and the Blackjackets uniform on. Because that’s what they thought Blackjackets meant. The mascot makers were like, “I guess it’s like a cowboy?” [chuckles]

Sylvia: [amused] Yeah. [Keith laughs]

Austin: Great. So, it’s you with a duffel bag walking down the hallways of this stadium towards the dugout.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): [urgently] Coach? Coach. I got something very important I need to show you, right now.

Sylvia: And then Lou-Ellen empties all the balls out on the floor.

Austin: [laughing] On the floor in the dugout. The camera…

Sylvia: [chuckles] Yeah.

Austin: We get like the sports camera wide angle like sweep over towards whatever’s happening and like zoom in and kind of refocus. Is this a character scene or a plot scene? Is this how you’re dealing with an Impulse or is this do you get what you want?

Sylvia: I think this is how the immediate aftermath of dealing with the Impulse there, right?

Austin: Okay.

Sylvia: ‘Cause that was the end of that scene was…

Austin: Yeah, so you think character, is what you think.

Sylvia: Yeah, I'm thinking more of a character scene here.

Austin: Yeah. Yes, yes, okay. Because you’re gonna show that they’re cheating.

Sylvia: Yeah.

Austin: Regardless, yeah. Okay. So, who’s in the scene? This is now you and Frankie, right?

Sylvia: Yeah.

Austin: Okay.

Sylvia: And anyone else in the dugout who wants to be there.

Austin: Sure, sure. So, baseballs everywhere. Jackie Johannson is like:

Austin (as Jackie): Hey mascot, watch where you’re dropping your balls.

Austin: And like turns around and high fives someone.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): H— th— you should be thanking me! These are the real ones!

Sylvia: And big dramatic arm like gesture. [Austin chuckles] Real theater kid shit, you know? [Art laughs] And like...hands on her hips she’s like— or, they’re like:

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): So. I did it. I solved it. We’re go— there they are! You’re welcome. [Austin laughs]

Art (as Frankie): I'm sorry.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Mm-hmm?

Art (as Frankie): I just feel like I'm playing catch up here. [Austin chuckles]

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): We’re playing baseball. [Austin laughs sympathetically]

Art (as Frankie): No, I'm playing baseball!

Austin: [laughs] You’re a mascot!

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): You sure are, coach!

Art (as Frankie): You’re running in here, throwing balls all over the floor!

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Okay, right. Um, I guess Jack didn’t get you guys up to speed, huh? Um, that’s fine. It’s fine. I'm used to this. So, right, they took— these are our balls. These are our— I put stickers on a couple of them. I didn’t do all of them. It took too long. [Austin laughs] But there’s a couple, you’ll see. They’ve got stickers in there. These are our real ones. You’ll notice that when you pitch the ball, and they hit it, it seems like it’s going really far today, right? And like, I know that happens sometimes, but this is like, a lot more than usual. They’re using evil balls. [Austin laughs] And these are the good ones. And you’re welcome! You should make sure you use one of the new ones next time you pitch, instead of the old ones.

Art (as Frankie): Okay. Um, here’s the thing about how baseball works.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Mm-hmm.

Art (as Frankie): I don’t bring the ball out there. [Austin laughs] That would encourage cheating. The— [audio cuts out]

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Oh.

Art (as Frankie): Supplies the ball.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): So— oh.

Art (as Frankie): You see, if you look real close—

Keith: They’re in on it.

Art (as Frankie): The home plate umpire has a pouch of balls on his waist.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Alright. I gotta— hold on.

Sylvia: And Lou-Ellen starts picking them back up.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): You should’ve told me that I had to bring these to someone else, before I did my reveal. [Austin laughs]

Art (as Frankie): I didn’t know.

Austin: So— wait—

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Okay.

Art (as Frankie): I didn’t know about the reveal or that you had a bunch of balls.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): I'm surrounded by people making excuses. No one’s willing to take responsibility for anything here. I can't work under these conditions. And they’re ready to storm out.

Austin: They’re like—

Art (as Frankie): I'm not sure you work for me!

Austin: Jack stands up. Jack’s like:

Austin (as Jack): Hey. Hey, everybody. I think we should take a breath. We gotta inform the umpire.

Austin: This is now just a seventh inning stretch. I've decided this is the middle of a seventh inning stretch, that’s how we have all this free time right now. Jack is like:

Austin (as Jack): We gotta get out there. We gotta show these balls to the umpire, and they’re gonna make it right.

Keith (as Keith): Good plan.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Jack, thank you. I've never heard you say that long a sentence before.

Austin (as Jack): I'm a little fired up.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): I like it. I like it a lot. Okay, uh, Mr. Pire!

Sylvia: And Lou-Ellen’s waving. [Austin laughs]

Art: Oh no.

Austin: Alright. Is this the crisis moment? We have now moved to the crisis, is can—

Art: I believe you can tell me if this were an episode of Kenan & Kel, this is where Kenan would have yelled, “Ah, here it go—” oh, Kel yells “ah, here it goes.”

Austin: [laughs] Yeah, Kel does. [Sylvia laughs]

Art: And then walked off the stage.

Austin: Yep, okay. Sylvia! Or, I guess I start with cards, right?

Sylvia: Yeah.

Austin: I'm gonna spend— this is big. I'm gonna spend three, so that drops me down to three budget. But that means I have four cards.

Sylvia: I'm definitely using my nerd point here.

Austin: Oh, yeah.

Sylvia: And then I'm gonna use my last Fanmail.

Austin: Okay.

Art: And I will give a Fanmail.

Austin: So that means...okay, so, Sylvia, start with two, then you get a nerd, than two Fanmails. One, two.

Keith: Something that we did miss was Art’s ability to award Fanmail for Sylvia’s turn from before.

Austin: That’s true.

Keith: Do we get a bank? Art’s extra Fanmail bank?

Austin: If you want to go back and give Sylvia another Fanmail, that’s fine.

Sylvia: [chuckles] I'll accept it. I'm not gonna object.

Art: I thought I did do a Fanmail for that.

Austin: It was when you were gone, Art.

Art: But the scene ended when I was here. I thought I leaned over the mic and said yes.

Austin: Oh, you’re right. You’re right. You were back. You were absolutely back.

Keith: We— okay.

Austin: We did do that. We did do that.

Sylvia: Did we do Fanmail— never mind. I thought— did we do Fanmail for the scene after that, though?

Austin: I think we’ve done…

Keith: I don’t have any Fanmail, and I was the only one in the scene.

Austin: Maybe we did not do Fanmail. We can retroactively— you can retroactively give Keith Fanmail, if y'all want to. I'm not here to…

Sylvia: I'll— yeah, I'll give Keith a Fanmail.

Austin: Let the— I need to let these points flow. This is the economy of the game. [chuckles] We have a lot in the pool, so. Alright.

Sylvia: I figure since we’re getting towards the end, too, [Austin: yes] the more cards, the more fun, right?

Austin: Absolutely, yeah.

Sylvia: So, should I flip these, or are we…?

Austin: Let’s flip ‘em.

Sylvia: Okay.

Austin: As a tip— yeah, you can shift—

Art: Whoa! Whoa!

Keith: Nice!

Austin: Wow, holy shit! Alright, we— [laughs sympathetically]

Art: Oh, fuck!

Sylvia: Wow! I was like dancing, and then I saw another ace.

Keith: Austin has pulled an ace almost every single turn.

Austin: Oh, no! Oh, no! Alright.

Keith: It’s still yes. It’s still “Yes, but.”

Austin: No, it’s...oh, it is! It is. It is “Yes, but.”

Keith: Right?

Sylvia: It is. It is.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Yes, it is. It is. Whew! Whew. Whew. I thought I drew three reds. I was so like…

Sylvia: No.

Austin: Upset. [chuckles] Alright, I'm back up to four budget, because you drew a red in your Fanmails. Alright, so...alright. But, so, what did we get? We got: you win, but you get a but, right? So...so, you resist your Impulses, but there are consequences. [chuckles] So, tell me what happens. You go out to the umpire.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Yeah, um, hi. I'd like to file a complaint.

Austin (as umpire): [offended] Whom? Whom? Whom? Whom are you?

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Oh, sorry. Lou-Ellen Llewellyn. [Keith laughs distantly] I'm the— I mean, I'm the mascot. I kind of do some PR work for the team as well…

Austin (as umpire): Hey, Beanbag! It looks like you lost your little stuffed, uh...your doll! You lost your troll doll out here. [Keith continues laughing]

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): [offended] Excuse me.

Art (as Frankie): I'm not responding to that name!

Austin (as umpire): I'm sorry, you lost your, uh...Mr. Beanbag, you lost your, uh...what are the little—  what were the little collectibles?

Art (as Frankie): [overlapping] That’s not what I [unclear??? 1:38:26] not doing it right.

Austin (as umpire): What were the collectibles called?

Art (as Frankie): No, I’m—

Austin (as umpire): The stuffed ones.

Art (as Frankie): I'm not doing this!

Austin (as umpire): The stuffed ones!

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Mr. Pire, we need to talk.

Austin (as umpire): Who? Who?

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): There’s a prob—

Austin (as umpire): Mr. who? [Keith laughs]

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): You! There’s a problem with your balls.

Austin (as umpire): [outraged] Ex— oh. Okay, buddy! Okay, pal! You know what? You’re ejected. You’re ejected! [Keith and Sylvia laugh] Get out of my ballpark! Talking about my balls. Get out of it.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): Wow. I've never felt so disrespected in my life.

Austin: You just dump the balls all over?

Sylvia: [amused] Yeah, I do, actually. You took the words right out of my mouth.

Austin: Just everywhere. [laughs] The camera’s following this nightmare. The other team is shooting it on their camera phone— oh, it’s 2007. They probably don’t have that ability.

Sylvia: They have phones.

Austin: They have phones. They’ll be taking snapshots. Uh, you get ejected. This is the consequence. But you do resist your Impulse, right? Which was what? Your Impulse would have been…

Sylvia: High strung.

Austin: High strung.

Sylvia: Which probably would have just been fighting him more.

Austin: Yeah, absolutely come to blows. Your dugout is like:

Austin (as player): [applauds] That’s right. That’s right! Lou-Ellen! Get him, Lou-Ellen! [Sylvia chuckles]

Austin: Yeah, just rapid zooms. Rapid closeups on people’s faces. And, as always, we shoot your mascot face like it’s a human face, like there is not…

Sylvia: Of course. I was gonna say, like dramatic like rack zooms on everybody, and the last one is the unemotional mascot face.

Austin: Can we get a confessional after the fact line from Lou-Ellen about this sequence? It’s just like, you know, it does like the Arrested Development thing where the audio ducks from the actual footage.

Sylvia: Yeah.

Austin: And then it’s you talking, and then it’s...or, I guess that’s— Arrested Development does that sometimes. Anyway, you know what I mean.

Sylvia (as Lou-Ellen): So, I've been told that I have a tone problem. [Austin laughs] At least, Jack has tried bringing it up a couple times, but you know him. He trips over all of his words. I wish he’d just enunciate more. [Austin chuckles] Anyway, I thought I did perfectly fine there, but if M. Pire doesn’t want to listen to me, then I don't know. He’s one of Jack’s friends, anyway, so. Maybe he can sort it out next time.

Austin: Great. Alright.

Keith: [laughs] Jack is the only person that Lou-Ellen likes.

Austin: Yeah.

Sylvia: No. [chuckles] Jack is the only person that Lou-Ellen will talk to without them walking away.

Austin: Yeah. That’s what it seems like. So, two more scenes, here! What happens? What’s the...what? What do we think…

Art: Oh, we need to smack the umpire’s ball bag on…

Austin: God.

Art: [laughing] On the way out.

Austin: Yeah. Uh huh. True. Oh, yeah. Is that what happens? Do we get that? Is like…

Sylvia: I dump the balls on the ground and steal his supply.

Austin: Well, you grab— yeah, you grab his, and you drop it on the ground, and it bounces. [chuckles] Like, it bounces up in the air like you spiked a basketball.

Sylvia: Oh my god.

Austin (as announcer): Uh, we don’t know where—

Sylvia: Audible gasp from the crowd.

Austin: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

Austin (as announcer): Uh, we don’t know what we’re seeing here, folks. You know, I...it sounds like some folks in the crowd are suggesting that, uh, Umpire Dewey may have loaded balls! [someone chuckles]

Austin: And there is like a...the seventh inning stretch continues for longer than it’s supposed to, as the other umpires are called in, and there’s an investigation. I think we might— I think that this might be a—

Keith: It’s a two week long seventh inning stretch.

Austin: Exactly. Like this might be a situation where the game gets suspended for investigations?

Sylvia: Oh man.

Keith: And then will either resume or get called in our favor at some future date.

Austin: Yes.

Keith: Thereby avoiding the potential loss, but also not getting a win.

Austin: Right! Like, exactly. But it...it like deflates the question of who wins the game, right? It’s like a wresting match early on in the build between two rivals, where like you can’t have an actual outcome.

Keith: Wait, why can’t you have an actual outcome?

Austin: Because then…

Art: Because then you’re not gonna pay to see the match later.

Austin: To see the pay per view, yeah.

Sylvia: Wrestling’s broken.

Keith: Oh, I understand.

Austin: Wrestling’s weird. It’s like a...yeah.

Keith: Oh, so they do— so, a lot of the show is free, and then the rest of the show is pay per view?

Austin: No, no, no, sorry. In the build...in wrestling, a build happens—

Keith: Oh, the build, not the bill.

Austin: Yeah. Yeah, not the bill, the build.

Keith: Like of the night, okay.

Austin: So, over like a month or two, when you’re building the rivalry between two wrestlers, you have them in tag team matches. You have them in weird gimmick matches. You have people run in and interfere. You do all this stuff that prevents you from seeing who would really win in the fight. And then that pays off in the pay per view, where you finally get whatever the match is. And that match might also have a [Keith: ] gimmick or whatever, but the expectation is that is gonna be the like climax of their rivalry.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: And so that’s what’s happening here. What is the term for when something like this happens in wrestling, again?

Art: It’s a schmoz?

Austin: A schmoz, yeah, okay. I knew it was a schm- something.

Keith: [chuckles] A schmoz.

Austin: It is! It’s a schmoz!

Keith: That sounds like one of those fake, uh, two different sauces mixed together [Austin laughs] that Heinz sells.

Austin: So then, we got two more scenes here. And now that the baseball game has been [chuckles] indefinitely suspended, we can do anything we want with them.

Keith: Well, we didn’t find any, uh…any treasures.

Austin: I guess that’s true. We could cut back to Keith, you doing a local Bluffington, Indiana either treasure or novelty hunt. Or like, “We’re here with Bluffington, Indiana’s biggest cow!” or something like that. [Keith laughs]

Art: Keith Carberry! [Keith and Austin laugh]

Austin: “Uh, moo.”

Keith: Biggest cow! Oh, this is great, they’ll eat this up back home.

Austin: [laughs] That’s the shit that you do! Because you don’t even go to like...you’re constantly going to minor league baseball team locations.

Keith: [laughs] It’s like...yeah. Um...saltiest taffy in the state.

Austin: [laughs] But you’re not even in Jersey!

Art: Oh, I don’t want to eat that. [Keith laughs]

Austin: You’re in Indiana! Does Indiana know…

Keith: Is Jersey the home of the saltiest taffy?

[1:44:59]

Austin: You’re in...yeah. Yeah. God. [sighs] Is Bluffington...wait, also, wait, is this a real place? Not Bluffington, sorry, Bloomington. Is Bloomington, Indiana—

Keith: No, it’s Indiana.

Austin: Known for anything? What is it known for?

Keith: It’s known for being where one of my friends went to college.

Austin: I don't think that’s… [chuckles] I don't think you can do a documentary episode on it.

Keith: It’s got a famous opera house. There’s a famous opera house in Bloomington. Right?

Austin: Oh, Little Bub, the famous cat, the internet cat, is from Bloomington. What’s in Bloomington, Indiana? Let’s pull this up over here.

Keith: Nobody wants to go to the opera house?

Austin: Okay, here we go. “Fifteen Best Things To Do In Bloomington.” There’s a winery. There’s a university. There’s a Tibetan Mongolian Buddhist cultural center. Uh...I want cornier stuff. I'm gonna— you know what, we need to go to like number thirty. I need to go to page two.

Keith: What if we go to the winery because no one back— no one— they didn’t invent alcohol.

Austin: In Bluff? Bluff City?

Keith: No, not in Bluff City, in uh…

Austin: Oh, in—

Keith: On the alien planet.

Austin: On the alien world, right. We could go to a— yeah, that’s true. You could do that. There’s a community theater. [laughing] “We’re here at the Bloomington community theater.”

Keith: But like—

Austin: Wait, barbecue train? Oh, it’s not an actual train.

Art: The birthplace of Mick Foley.

Austin: That’s— you know, we’re on the pro wrestling stuff.

Keith: Oh, there’s a Sam’s Club.

Austin: You’re not going— [Keith and Austin laugh]

Keith: I looked at TripAdvisor “Fifteen Things to Do,” and one of them was a library, one of them was a costume collection, and then it’s like, Sam’s Club! There’s a Sam’s Club there!

Austin: God. Let’s pick one of these and do that. Let’s pick one of these and do that. Up to you, it’s your scene.

Keith: Uhhh. What was the...what were the last couple that you—

Austin: Wait.

Keith: That were on your list?

Austin: Hold up. I pulled up Atlas Obscura. Here we go. This is what we should have done to begin with. “Six Cool, Hidden, and Unusual things to do.” Here we go. Empire Quarry, which is like a limestone quarry. Knightridge Space Observatory, which is like a cool-looking observatory. This observatory is pretty cool-looking. Uh, the Garret, which is some sort of building with geological specimens. I'm getting to the good one. The Kinsey Institute. Okay, no, moving on. Uh, here we go. Bloomington, Indiana’s famous brain sculpture. There’s a giant brain sculpture. [chuckles] Real thing in Bloomington. Or the Slocum Mechanical Puzzle Collection.

Keith: I don’t wanna do slocum anything.

Austin: [groans] Or we could do biggest cow or Sam’s Club.

Keith: I— you know, here’s one that might be nice.

Austin: Mm-hmm?

Keith: We could go to the observatory.

Austin: Yes!

Keith: And it could be a nice— it could be just for the human audience, it could just be a nice like astrological lesson. But for everybody back home, it’s like, look! They’ve got these big telescopes. We can see us, it’s—

Austin: [laughing] Keith, you should look at this...you should look at the screen, so you can see what this observatory actually looks like.

Keith: Okay. Alright. Let me hit the Live button.

Austin: It is...there’s like a Hello Kitty graffiti, and it says “Hello Satan” under it. [Keith and Austin laugh] It’s like rusted.

Keith: My thing— I think I have to refresh my thing.

Austin: It’s like deep in the woods. Like, this is actually great.

Keith: I'm not seeing this on the thing.

Austin: Oh, what do you—

Keith: I think maybe you don’t have the right thing up.

Austin: Do I not have the right thing up?

Keith: No.

Austin: What do y'all see? You can't see it.

Keith: Oh, yeah, the chat says we can’t see it either.

Austin: What do you see? What do people see?

Keith: I see Sylvia’s cards, Art’s cards, Keith’s cards.

Sylvia: We see…

Art: Roll20.

Austin: Oh, weird. Okay, wait one second. I'll pull it up. Ah, that’s a shame. I was showing a bunch of stuff. Uh, yeah, here it is. Let’s do a walkthrough...of this terrible...rusted out...gray brick—

Keith: Still can't see it.

Art: Still Roll20.

Sylvia: Yeah, still not seeing that.

Austin: Oh, goddamnit. There we go. I hit Transition, and now you can see the vulgar graffiti that’s on the… [chuckles] that’s on the screen.

Keith: Oh, there we go. Oh, yeah.

Art: Oh, yeah.

Keith: Huh.

Austin: Yeah.

Keith: Well, this is made up, and so it’s nice. [Sylvia laughs]

Austin: Oh, you don’t like the idea of being like, here is what they— [chuckles] here’s what passes for their—

Keith: “This is what they think of science here.”

Austin: Of science and alien technology.

Keith: [laughs] No, it’s nice. Why is this on Atlas Obscura? [Keith and Austin laugh] Yeah, you can visit this fuckin’ totally junked out observatory. Wouldn’t that be fun?

Austin: It’s in like the middle of the woods! This is some Silent Hill shit!

Keith: Yeah, it totally is.

Austin: It’s great!

Keith: It’s also slightly more interesting than some Silent Hill shit, too.

Austin: Oh, the thing that happened is Bloomington got too big.

Keith: So they trashed their observatory?

Austin: There was too much light pollution. And also it was an old—

Keith: Oh, so they abandoned it.

Austin: It was an old observatory. So yeah, they abandoned it.

Keith: Okay. So, this one’s the new one, and it’s built further away.

Austin: Okay. Got it.

Keith: And it’s nice, and it’s the thing that I said. [laughs]

Austin: Oh, they moved this— they moved this telescope to New Jersey. The actual telescope that used to be there is now in New Jersey.

Keith: Oh, so that’s close.

Austin: That’s close!

Keith: That is now closer to reality.

Austin: Yes. In this world, it’s been turned into like a space museum.

Keith: So, I think maybe— I think the people back home would get a kick out of the idea that, even by accident, humans could look up through a telescope and see them.

Austin: Yes.

Keith: And I can do it— I can do it with a couple winks and nods to...you know, doesn’t even have to be a separate edit or anything. Everybody will just understand like, oh, you know, can’t say “Hey, we’re looking at the alien home!”

Austin: [chuckles] Right.

Keith: But they all know, you know, where they live.

Austin: They get it. Yeah, definitely.

Keith: They know their address. Their galactic address.

Austin: “People in Bloomington can, you know, look to the skies and wave at anyone who might be watching.”

Keith: Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Austin: So, yeah, what is this— what is the— is there a crisis here? What is the crisis? Is this like just, how good is the show?

Keith: Well, I think the crisis is like, you know...do people give a shit about this? Like, if this is...

Austin: Yeah.

Keith: Like, yeah, I guess it’s kind of “is the show good?” because the consequence to “is the show good?” is that planet gets blown up—

Austin: Yeah. So, wait, is there a big—

Keith: And so, if people said they don’t care that they can be seen by these people on Earth…

Austin: Yeah.

Keith: If they think that it’s not important to them or that it’s not cute that they have these telescopes that can look across the stars, then…

Austin: Is the heart of this scene whether or not you resist your Impulse and close up because you’re nervous about this, or is it that, for now at least, they don’t blow up the Earth?

Keith: It’s that. It’s the second one.

Austin: So, this is a plot scene, probably.

Keith: This is a plot scene.

Austin: As a note, if you fail this, it’s probably real bad.

Keith: That’s…

Austin: Right?

Keith: Fine. That’s fine.

Austin: This will be a real weird [laughs] final scene if you fail the “they do—”

Keith: Well, I don't know that...you know, it’s cumulative. It’s not the first bad episode, they blow up the Earth, you know?

Austin: Well, at that point, it’s like, is that better then to be a character episode where it’s about...where the focus of the camera is...you know, at the top of the thing, there’s a voiceover that says, it’s you saying like, “I knew that one bad thing wasn’t gonna cause them to blow up the Earth, but blah blah— but, what I wanted to do was make sure that I came across as someone friendly, that everyone at home could like.” Do you know what I mean?

Keith: Uh...no, I think it’s plot.

Austin: So the— but then, what is the stake—

Keith: I feel like we did the—

Austin: So, what happens if you fail? If you don’t get what you want, what is the consequence? 'Cause it can't be “nothing happens.”

Keith: Yeah, I guess that’s…

Austin: And we kick it down— 'cause at that point, what we’re doing is...like, at that point, the sequence should be about what is up with Keith’s— with Keith J. Carberry’s like character stakes, if it’s not about actual plot stakes. It could— is it about you get better funding if this goes well? Is it about the other people getting some sort of obstacle put in their way if this goes well?

Keith: Um, that’s possible. I mean, they got these special...

Austin: ‘Cause like, in other words, I don't have a clock. This game doesn’t have a clock system where I'm gonna tick it one step closer to “they blow up the Earth” if you fail.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: So, we need something material that doesn’t happen or that does happen based on the plot sequence outcome. Otherwise, we’re just handwaving it. Because if we play this game again in a month, it’s gonna be like...there— we need some particular stake that isn’t just “it didn’t go well last time.” You know?

Keith: I could— yeah, I guess with that, I could be...I could do it as a character scene. But I would like to figure— I would give you a bigger stake to it, but I don't know what the stake is. I don't know how to…

Austin: Well, what is the thing that you would want—

Keith: Establish stakes that are not too high.

Austin: Is it about, you know, them making a particular demand or sending someone down to like monitor you. Like the introduction of a new, like a...they’re like, okay, we’re gonna have to send someone down from like an oversight committee, because we don’t—

Keith: Yeah, maybe the—

Austin: Or…

Keith: Because of the cheating, like someone had to help them probably.

Austin: Right.

Keith: They probably have someone back home that’s helping them cheat. Maybe like— and maybe the council doesn’t care, really. Like, they’re not like…

Austin: So maybe, is that what it is? Is that…

Keith: Well this isn’t perfunctory. As far as they’re concerned, at the end of this, the Earth is getting blown up. Like, this is a like “guilty until proven innocent” [Austin: yes] affair. Maybe this is where that could switch by being like, “Oh, it’s…”

Austin: Where you’re opening the door for independent council or something.

Keith: Right, yeah.

Austin: So then yeah, so the plot thing that you want is “and this is why you should consider...you know, letting, you know, going into step two of an evaluation.”

Keith: Right.

Austin: And sending someone down to basically make sure the other side is being fair about what their depictions are or something.

Keith: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Austin: Which lets me introduce a new NPC if we pick this up again, you know?

Keith: Yeah. Or PC.

Austin: Right, or PC. Totally, absolutely. So…

Keith: Ah, that’ll be fun.

Austin: So, that’s plot, for sure. What do you...what am I spending? Let’s see. Uh, I'm gonna spend...we have one more scene after this? I'll spend two budget. So that means I get three cards. One. You know what? I'm just gonna spend one, 'cause I want to see what this last scene is gonna look like. So that means I have— so I'm only putting out two cards. Boom. Is anyone else in this scene? I guess Lou-Ellen could be in this scene, since…

Keith: Yeah, as the producer.

Austin: They are the producer. But they don’t have any...oh, wait, no one gave Sylvia Fanmail for that last scene? [Sylvia chuckles]

Keith: Oh! Yeah, totally.

Art: Oh, [unclear ??? 1:56]

Keith: We just kind of rolled over it.

Austin: Yeah.

Art: Yeah, we just— we skipped the step.

Austin: Yeah.

Sylvia: I will toss one Keith’s way for this scene, then.

Austin: Okay. But you were not—

Sylvia: ‘Cause yeah, it makes sense that Lou-Ellen would be there filming it, right?

Austin: Yeah, totally. But—

Keith: Yeah, yeah, we don’t have like a real crew, right?

Austin: No.

Sylvia: No.

Keith: Well, I guess we do. We have— we did get the— oh, no, we didn’t get—

Austin: There are other aliens, but we didn’t…

Keith: [??? 1:56:18] or whatever.

Austin: Yeah, we don't have anything else here that suggests that. No one else has them as a connection, right?

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: Are you—

Keith: And we did, in the first episode, have the thing where Lou-Ellen was like trying to figure out how to film and record audio and, you know, [Austin: mm-hmm] produce the scene at the same time.

Austin: Yes, we did do that. Are you spending any of your Fanmail, Keith?

Keith: I'm gonna spend all of it.

Austin: Alright, so you get two— uh, Fanmail does carry over, just so you know, from game to game, but…

Keith: Uh...nope. I'm gonna spend all of it.

Austin: Alright. So, you get two more.

Keith: This is a big one for me.

Austin: It is a big one. Alright. [amused] You have five cards.

Keith: Now I'm the one with five cards!

Austin: Uh huh! [Art chuckles] Alright, ready?

Keith: I wanna do it all in one.

Austin: Me too.

Art: It doesn’t matter when Austin gets his traditional ace.

Keith: Yeah.

Austin: No! Did not get an ace this time.

Keith: Flip.

Austin: Ah, you got an ace!

Keith: Ace!

Austin: But—

Keith: I get—

Austin: And you got more reds! This is a “Yes, and.”

Keith: Yep. This is a “Yes, and.”

Austin: “Yes, and.”

Art: The last card didn’t flip for me.

Austin: Oh, weird.

Keith: Second “Yes, and” of the entire game.

Austin: Now it unflipped. It just unflipped. There it goes. Boom.

Art: I tried to flip it, and that didn’t work.

Austin: Okay, well, it’s an ace of diamonds. It did— when you flipped it, it flipped, which is weird. So, you get what you want, and you keep it together. Tell me what this looks like. What is your big schpiel? What is your big...appeal to the alien council and alien culture about Earth?

Keith: This is like the tag at the end of the episode.

Austin: Absolutely, yeah.