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Holden (dating profile)
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Holden Lee

website

oldheneel@gmail.com [best way to contact me - if you followed the link from a dating site, I may not be active there]

In short: 

Hello! 你好! Saluton! toki! Learn my language and I'll learn yours:)

M (he/they) looking for F (long-term relationship), and also friends (any)

Taiwanese-American, born in 1991 (year of the sheep!)

Assistant professor in Applied Math and Statistics & /  Speculative fiction writer

Want kids

Looking to grow and change with a new person in my life ✨

Why I would make a great romantic partner, according to my cousin:

Driven and focused! Up for anything! Independent and stable! Will nurture your inner nerd!

This guy has the most interesting mix of left and right brain!

 

Location: Baltimore, MD

Likes

Personality

Life rhythm

Relationally

Activity menu

Happy to have a quick video/voice chat. Email me for contact info.

Social activities and communities I'm currently involved in:

I have also enjoyed: board game meetup (No Land Beyond). I consider myself rationalist-adjacent.

Aspirations & Directions

Things I’m not into

Nightlife, crowds and loud places, spectator sports, formal events, “keeping up” with the latest _, violence

Things I’m not good at

Knowing about popular culture, multi-tasking, taking social initiative, expressing strong emotion, social calibration & subtext, being decisive, asking for help (getting better!)

I’m naturally a quiet person. It takes time for me to “be myself” in a group setting.

I can be in my head and overthink things rather than being grounded in the moment.

Tendencies towards perfectionism, pridefulness, anxious attachment.

A conversation

“What do you imagine your perfect partner to be like?”

“Effluent [sic]. I always think a lot before I say something… pursue one thing… Someone who says what’s on their mind, like play, litefooted, jumps from one thing to another.”

“She’ll be a muse for your prophet. Like symbiosis in nature. The tree, strong and unbending, and the moss, growing inside, forcing it to adapt. There are symbiotic and asymbiotic relationships. The muse generates the ideas, the prophet has the patience to write them down. Just don’t let the muse – different, fascinating – take away all your energy. Is your partner dominant or submissive?”

“Dominant, but not in the sense of controlling. But…”

“kindling a flame.”

Song quotes

Spotify playlist

"It's a whole new place with a brand new attitude, but you still gotta catch 'em all and be the best you can be." (Pokemon Johto)

"I'll fly until the end of the sky, so I'll be the one who doesn't have to say goodbye." (Rainbow Dash, in I’ll Fly)

"Your love makes me see things so clearly" (Anna Rose, Vienna Teng)

"I used to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly when I'm asleep" (Fireflies, Owl City)

"Am I human or am I dancer?" (Human, The Killers)

"I don't know my purpose in this, but it's obvious it's minuscule at best." (Time Bending, Loquat)

"Sadness is a blessing" (Lykke Li)

"And the less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine" (Closer to Fine, Indigo Girls)

"They were kids that I once knew Now they're all dead hearts to you" (Dead Hearts, Stars)

“Open up your window shades and illuminate” (Illuminate, Afrojack)

“I hope you find the love that's true So the morning light can shine on you” (Shine, Benjamin Francis Leftwich)

“Hold on when you give love, let go when you give it” (Stars)

“Just leave me your stardust to remember you by” (Boats & Birds, Gregory and the Hawk)

“Come down now, they'll say. But everything looks perfect from far away” (Such Great Heights, The Postal Service)

“Even if the dreams I had turned into dust There's no wreckage that's too broken to rebuild” (Braver still, JJ Heller)

"What does it take to make our dreams collide, The smallest change can make you feel alive." (Here We Go, WILD)

“We caught bugs and frogs and feelings. ‘Wait did i just say that? Sorry!’ ‘Yeah you should be! We caught bugs and toads and feelings!” (At The Cemetery, Madilyn Mei)

Quotes

"Back when she was afraid of the dark she always brought a flashlight. But it turned out that was exactly why she was afraid. The whole world was black and she was a shining target." (Saskiad, Brian Hall)

“If we do not suffer with our pain, then we have not learned about anything but ourselves. Pain without suffering is like victory without struggle.” (Shantaram, Gregory David Roberts)

“when there is love, the widowed must stay for the resurrection of the beloved - so that the one who has gone is not really dead, but grows and is created for a second time in the soul of the living.” (The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, Carson McCullers)

"A certain type of perfection can only be realized through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect." (Kafka on the Shore, Haruki Murakami)

"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties." (Francis Bacon)

"I guess we all like to be recognized not for one piece of fireworks but for the ledger of our daily work." (Neil Armstrong)

Books

Anathem; The Diamond Age, Neal Stephenson

Exhalation; Stories of Your Life and Others, Ted Chiang

The Saskiad, Brian Hall

Inheritance trilogy, N.K. Jemisin

Gödel Escher Bach, Douglas Hofstadter

Hard-boiled wonderland at the end of the world, Haruki Murakami

Discworld series, Terry Pratchett

Shantaram, Gregory David Roberts

Lands of Lost Borders: A Journey on the Silk Road, Kate Harris

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, Gabrielle Zevin

My Brilliant Friend, Elena Ferrante

A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara

Farseer trilogy, Robin Hobb

The Books of Babel, Josiah Bancroft

Changing Planes, Ursula Le Guin

The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Juster

Hope for the Flowers, Trina Paulus

Foundryside, Robert Jackson Bennett

Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century, Kim Fu

The Edge Chronicles, Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell

Gentlemen Bastards series, Scott Lynch

Dark Matter, Blake Crouch

Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning, Cathy Park Hong

All the Birds in the Sky, Charlie Jane Enders

The Book of Delights, Ross Gay

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, Marshall B. Rosenberg