Dear Liisphyra
Episode 10: Checking in and Checking Out
Official Transcript
Written by Katie Siegel
[intro theme]
Liisphyra:
Gooooood morning, Grevelon, and welcome back to Dear Liisphyra. My name’s Liisphyra Lyndambar. And if this is your first time tuning in, on this show I give advice to any folks and creatures who may need it!
For those of you who listened the last time we were on the air, you’ll know that we had an...unexpected visitor in the studio: a dust devil, who I have since named Deevee, Deevee the Dust Devil.
The beast wizard who came to safely remove Deevee from the studio gave her another name, which was, um, “The cause of a lot of structural damage to the radio station that will likely result in much larger technical issues in the near future.”
Ruvyn, the station manager, who did not seem very interested in my name for the creature, seemed much more interested when we were told that.
And now I am smoothly transitioning into the next topic to say: we’re moving! While Deevee the Dust Devil has been safely removed and released into the wild, where she can stir up winds as much as she wants, she left a bit of a disaster in her wake. Ruvyn and the station’s engineer, Fielle, conducted an inspection, and found that it’d be much more expensive to repair the damage than it would be to just move the station’s operations to another location. So, we’re moving!
It’s a bittersweet moment: I mean, this was the studio where I first began Dear Liisphyra! That’s where I stood when I was told I could do the show! This is where I took my first call! I mean...that’s where Ruvyn stood when he told me that I was speaking too loudly into the speaking plant! It’s going to be sad to leave this place.
But, on the other branch, the new station is closer to my home tree! And, not only will my commute to the station be shorter, but I won’t have to pass through the Bogglepit Thicket anymore. Which means no more carrying berries in my pockets to throw past the bogglepits to distract them for long enough to let me run past. I mean, I know they’re harmless, but have you ever tried to wade through dozens of bogglepits? Plus, their feathers make me sneeze. Before I figured out the berry trick, I was always showing up to the station with a runny nose.
Oh, also, I won’t have to jump from rock to rock to get across Zelbar Creek. Which is great, because the rocks have been slowly disappearing, which is making me think that maybe they weren’t rocks after all? Which, as some of you might remember, would not be the first time I’ve mistaken a jeebler for a rock, so it’s probably for the best that I won’t have to go that way anymore.
The only issue with my new commute is going to be traveling through the Chattering Grove. I know I could just walk around, but that would double my walking time.
For those who don’t know, the Chattering Grove is a bunch of elpenia...I think they’re elpenia trees. Yeah. It’s a grove of elpenia trees that were enchanted with a shared consciousness years ago. I forget who enchanted them. Honestly, I would love to talk to that person and ask them some questions. Like…“Can you undo it? Please?”
After being enchanted, the trees became the most critical group of trees in all of Grevelon. And I know the bar for that is low, since talking trees are rare in Grevelon, but still. Any time I have to pass through them, it’s always, “Liisphyra, when are you going to get a real job?” and, “Liisphyra, why can’t you be more like your brother and actually make something of yourself?” You know, just fun little observations like that.
One time, my best friend Raedra and I had to pass through the Chat Grove, and she snapped a branch off of one of the trees when it asked her if she’d finally gotten a grip on her anger issues. Which I guess answered the tree’s question. The tree told a ranger about it, and Raedra got in a little trouble. She didn’t hurt the tree, they can’t feel pain, but they are very vain about their branches, and the rangers think we need to show respect to the Chat Grove.
Honestly, though, they just want the trees to look nice because it’s one of the Towering Forest’s biggest tourist destinations. The tourists think it’s funny when the trees say mean things to them. People from other places in Grevelon will be like, “Oh, you live by the Chattering Grove! You’re so lucky!” And I’m like, “Oh, yeah, I love being told that my hair looks like a golliwoddle nest and my clothes need a dewrinkle spell, by a PLANT.”
So that’s going to make for a fun commute. You know, ever since the branch-snapping incident, they’ve gotten a little less bold around Raedra. Maybe I can see if she wants to walk me to the station sometimes. Or I can just invest in earmuffs.
Anyway, let’s move on with the show. So, unfortunately, Deevee the Dust Devil damaged our receiver, so we’re unable to take calls this episode. But, don’t worry, Ruvyn swooped in to save the day! Well, he didn’t really swoop. It was more a slow shuffle as he went to his desk and retrieved a bunch of letters that survived the dust devil’s visit. They aren’t letters asking for advice: they’re follow-ups from people who have called into the show!
I asked Ruvyn why this was the first time I was seeing these, and he said he was saving them for a special occasion. Then I asked him if that was a lie, and he just forgot to tell me about them, and he said yes. Hey, at least he’s honest, right?
So let’s jump into these letters! This first letter is from...Ura. Oh, Ura was a professional damsel in distress! Her boyfriend seemed kind of jealous of her job, so I suggested she try bringing him along sometimes when she had to travel for work.
Ura writes:
“Dear Liisphyra,
Just wanted to write in to update you on how things are going. I had a work assignment to go sit in the center of this maze, so I brought my boyfriend along.
He was hesitant at first (an underground maze wasn’t really his idea of a vacation), but when we got there, he got super into it. He actually had the idea to pretend to be another hero who had gotten badly injured in the maze, so the clients who came through got to practice first aid on him, which they told my bosses they really liked.
My bosses were so pleased by the feedback that they asked my boyfriend if he would like a job performing as an injured hero, and he accepted. So now we get to work together all the time!
There are still some assignments that I have to go on without him, but now that he’s seen me work, I think he understands it better now, and isn’t jealous anymore. And now he has a brand new job that he loves.
Thanks again for the advice!
Love,
Ura”
That’s so awesome! I’m glad he was able to get that jealousy under control. And congrats to him on the new job!
Okay, this next letter is from Blankhana! When Blankhana called in, she was planning her wedding, and was nervous about her first dance. We agreed that she just needed to have fun with it, and not put so much pressure on trying to make it perfect. I think that the backup plan was for her to acquire magical dancing shoes, but hopefully she didn’t have to go that far.
Blankhana writes:
“Hello from a married woman! The wedding was fantastic. We found room for my dad’s warlocks, my mother-in-law almost bit the heads off of some wedding crashers, and–”
Oh, I forgot her mother-in-law’s a dragon! So she means literally. Yikes.
Continuing:
“–and our first dance was perfectly imperfect. I stepped on Jhaelle’s feet approximately 5 times throughout the course of the song, and she laughed every time it happened. You were right: I didn’t need to worry about making it perfect, and was able to enjoy it so much more that way. Thanks so much for the advice. Sorry this letter was so short, but we’re about to leave for Gelphyre for our honeymoon! Gotta go, bye!
Best,
Blankhana”
Oh, I hear Gelphyre is beautiful this time of year. Although, I’m not sure when this letter was sent. Then again, I think Gelphyre is beautiful any time of the year, so it doesn’t really matter. Well, Blankhana and Jhaelle, congratulations on getting married, and I hope you had–or, are having–a wonderful honeymoon!
Okay, let’s continue with these letters. Oh, this one is from Eirwyn! Eirwyn called after being hit with a memory loss curse from a crystal, and we had to retrace her steps to figure out what had happened. When she regained her memory, she remembered that she had gone to retrieve her family’s stolen crystal, and found this house with an entire collection of stolen crystals.
Eirwyn writes:
“Hi Liisphyra,
It’s Eirwyn Pimeot. Remember me? Hope you’ve been doing well! I certainly have been busy. My sister Elwin and I managed to form a group of fighters and mages and returned to the house of the wizard who had the stolen crystal collection.
The wizard managed to escape, but we were able to retrieve all of the crystals. We’ve had to fight off a few collectors and museum owners (not physically, although Elwin almost hit one over the head with her staff), but we’re working on returning all the crystals to their rightful families and communities.
Thank you again for helping me break the curse and regain my memory. One of the crystals belongs to a dryad family in the Towering Forest, so maybe I’ll see you when I travel there. Hope to see you around!
Best,
Eirwyn Pimeot”
Eirwyn, that’s fantastic! I’m so glad you were able to recover the stolen crystals–although I wish the wizard could’ve faced some form of justice for stealing them. But a win’s a win, and you and your sister are doing great work returning the crystals to their rightful owners. And yes, definitely come find me when you come to the Towering Forest!
Alright, here’s our last letter. Oh, there’s a little package attacked to it. This letter is from...Elbmib Elbmik. Huh. I usually have a pretty good memory for people who have written and called in, but I don’t...well, let’s see what Elbmib has to say:
“Dear Liisphyra,
I am furious with you.”
What?
“The advice you gave me was terrible. I did exactly what you said, and the rash has only gotten worse”?
Namrys alive, I don’t remember this at all! Did I accidentally touch a memory loss crystal? Ruvyn, do you remember this? What else do they say?
“I am boycotting your show, and encourage everyone else to do so as well. Attached is a recording stone with which I have documented our call, in case you’ve forgotten it.”
I really can’t remember this at all! I’ll play the recording stone–maybe that will jog my memory. Elbmib Elbmik...a rash? Okay, I’m going to play the recording on the stone. And...play.
Kimble and Bimble: [on the recording]
TRIIIIICKED! [laughter]
Liisphyra:
Oh...my…
Kimble: Did we trick you, Liisphyra?
Bimble: Oh, Kimble, I wish I could see her face right now.
Kimble: Silly Liisphyra, there was no rash.
Bimble: And there’s no Elbmib Elbmik, either. But backwards, that spells Bimble–
Kimble: –and Kimble! Hehe, got you!
Liisphyra: Listen you imps, I know you can’t hear me, but I’m gonna–
Bimble: Anyway, hope you are doing well!
Kimble: Yes, hope you and your family are in good health!
Liisphyra: Oh, Well, that’s nice of them to say...
Bimble: We have to go wait for the mailperson now.
Kimble: Yes! Today we hired a sorcerer to put a charm on the mailbox so it won’t open.
Bimble: The mailperson is going to pull and pull, but it won’t open.
Kimble: Hehe, they are going to be tricked so good.
Kimble and Bimble: Bye Liisphyraaaaaa!
Liisphyra: [sighs] Kimble and Bimble, everyone. Seems like they’re doing well. Can’t say the same about their mailperson. It can’t be the same mailperson, right? How long can one person stand so many pranks before they quit?
Oh, Namrys...oh! This isn’t a letter, but I do have a couple more updates from folks who have called in to the show! Back when we thought we might try to rebuild this station after the damage done by the dust devil, I called Frallwri! Frallwri’s a giant spider architect who called in because none of his designs were getting him hired. When I realized how...perilous all of his designs were, I suggested he try designing dungeons instead.
Anyway, I called Frallwri to see if he had any contacts who could help us rebuild the station. He offered to design a new station himself, but after he recommended installing walls that close in on you if you don’t know the password, I politely declined. Ruvyn, I didn’t tell you about his offer, I-I just assumed you’d be okay with me speaking on your behalf. Yeah, I thought so.
But Frallwri seems to be doing well. He’s been getting a lot of work, and he told me that he just had an article written about him in Dungeoneers Digest!
Oh, another piece of news–Raedra and I traveled to Poere a few weeks ago for the Annual Curtibus Sea Singing Competition, to see Nerabelle and Scaleana compete! For those who missed it, Nerabelle and Scaleana are two mermaids who both called in to accuse the other of stealing song ideas for this competition. Eventually, they agreed to work together to create a song for the event.
The competition was so fun to watch–there were so many talented merfolk competing. The songwriting competition was the final event. The challenge was to create a song that would make the landfolk volunteers perform a specific dance. So, Nerabelle and Scaleana co-wrote this amazing song that was so powerful, the judges started dancing, too! Naturally, they won first place, and they called to me in the crowd, telling me to come accept the award with them.
Then, according to Raedra, I passed out. Raedra had to slap me awake, and sort of dragged me over to help Nerabelle and Scaleana accept the award. I don’t remember much after that, but it was one of the best moments of my life.
So that’s it for these updates! It’s so nice to hear from folks who have called in. You know, I can give advice left and right, but you never really know how it works out unless–oh, hang on. Oh, I think Ruvyn found one more letter.
Oh, oh! This letter is from Ginavek! Ginavek called when a bunch of...um...I wanna say, bozzybugs? Was that the name of the creature? That sounds right. Anyway, these creatures surprised Ginavek, who got stuck up in a tree trying to escape them, and we figured out that they don’t like pemblefruit juice. So Ginavek used the juice to distract the...th...the buzzy...creatures, long enough to escape.
I’m not sure what Ginavek would have to write in about. That was one of the rare calls where we found out the resolution on the air. Okay, Ginavek writes:
“Dear Liisphyra,
Hi, Ginavek here! Thanks again with your help with the buzzybog situation.”
Oh, buzzybogs. Right. I won’t remember that.
“Ever since that day, I’ve started studying the habits of buzzybogs, and have noticed a lot more irregular activity like I saw that day.”
Oh, right. Ginavek had said that the buzzybogs were mainly nocturnal creatures, which was why it was a surprise to see them out during the day. Okay, continuing:
“I’ve been gathering more information about other irregular creature activity, but my research is slow-going. I was hoping you could use your platform to ask your listeners to contact me with any information they might have about any strange activities they’ve seen in creatures around Grevelon recently. If they do, they can tell their speaking plant to call Ginavek in the Hills of Longforn. Make sure they say Ginavek clearly, because I have a neighbor named Ginawok, and we get each other’s calls all the time.
Hope you’re well, and thanks again for your help with the buzzybogs, and hopefully for reading this letter on the air.
Thanks!
Ginavek”
Huh. Sorry, I’m just thinking...well, first off, like Ginavek asked, please call if you have that information. Honestly, now that I’m thinking about it...Ruvyn, remember when the cupidsfly migration came early this year? Oh, right, I forgot you caught cupidsflu. But that was strange creature activity, right? And...and how the Marshlands has been having those hydra attacks? And the jeebler…
Ginavek, if you’re listening, I’m gonna call you later. But like I said, anyone else who has any information that could help Ginavek’s research, tell your speaking plant to call Ginavek at the Hills of Longforn!
I’m actually going to write a few things down before I forget. Oh, uh, let’s go to our sponsor while I do that. Afterwards, Ruvyn says we have some letters from listeners? I’m actually excited, I’m not sure what these are, he hasn’t shown them to me yet. But first, a word from our sponsor.
Sponsor:
The future is unknown. Tomorrow is a mystery. Gods only know what’s in store. These are some common phrases people say. Until they meet me, Gryavae Donovo, the Divine Diviner.
With a quick glance in my looking glass (and the minimum payment of 5 ryn coins) I can tell you almost anything you wish to know about your future. Want to know what you’re having for dinner tomorrow night? Stew! Want to know if that strange seed you planted is gonna grow into a giant beanstalk? It won’t! Want to know who’s going to win the Grevelon Vineball Finals?
I’ve had some run-ins with a couple of gambling rings, and...well, we’ve made our peace. Vineball winners–that I cannot do. And I suggest you stop going around asking questions like that. [mocking] “Oh, I just want to know if the game is worth going to, I’m not a gambler!” What, do I look like I was born yesterday? I don’t even need to look into the future to see that as soon as I give you a team name, you’re running out of my cabin to find your bookie.
Imagine everyone came to me, asking me for the name of the winning team. Well, now everyone knows who’s going to win. By then, what’s even the point of having the game? Now there’s no more Vineball. And all because you just had to know who was going to win. How does that feel, knowing you got our most beloved sport canceled? How are you going to sleep at night? I can see the future, and I will tell you: you won’t be able to. Night after night of you lying awake, saying to yourself, “If only I hadn’t found out who was going to win the Vineball tournament. Then things would be better.” And maybe things will get better. I know whether they will or not, but that’s gonna be another 5 ryn coins from you to find out.
So come visit me, Gryavae Donovo, the Divine Diviner, and ask me anything you wanna know about your future. Well...almost anything.
Liisphyra:
And we’re back, with Dear Liisphyra! Okay, Ruvyn told me that these aren’t letters from folks who need advice, but from fans of the show. Ruvyn, were you also keeping these letters in that drawer? Maybe...maybe we should keep all of the letters in that drawer, just in case we have another dust devil visitor. Okay, okay, I won’t tell you how to do your job, it was just a suggestion.
Alright, let’s see what we have here. This first letter is from Willow Snopdrag! Willow writes:
“Hello from a fellow resident of the Towering Forest! My name is Willow–I’m a wildflower nymph, and I just wanted to write in to say that I love the show. I am very passionate about trees, and I’ll listen to Dear Liisphyra while I’m studying them and documenting my findings. Let me know if you ever need any information about trees–I’ve got you covered!
Best,
Willow Snopdrag”
Thanks Willow! If you have any advice on how to deal with the Chattering Grove, please send it my way. Anything that could help make my new commute more manageable would be much appreciated. Heh, now I’m the one asking for advice.
Okay, the next letter is from Coal Istaki. Coal writes:
“What’s up Liisphyra? The name’s Coal, and I really dig your show. I’m a centaur, and when I was younger I really wanted to get into surfing, but I could never find a surfboard that could fit all four of my legs. So I started my own business making and painting custom surfboards, especially for non-humanoid folks.
I’m always playing your show in my workshop, so I wanted to send you a gift. I know you’ve talked about not knowing how to swim, so I built you a custom surfboard and had it enchanted to keep whoever’s on it upright, so you don’t have to worry about falling into the water. If you’re ever in Poere, bring the board and we can hit the waves.
Surf’s up!
Coal Istaki.”
That’s so nice. Ruvyn, was there a package with–oop, there it is. Where were you keeping that? Wow, Coal, this is so nice, thank you! I’ve never really considered trying surfing, but it’s definitely more appealing knowing that I won’t fall into the water!
Okay, okay, I’m taking forever with these. They’re just so nice! I’m going to speed up so we can get through all of them. This letter is from halfling bard Meander Bankedrock, who listens to the show while adventuring to rescue their missing daughter, Thalwegga. Meander, thank you for listening to the show, and best of luck finding your daughter! If anyone has any information, send it here to the Towering Forest Radio Station and we’ll pass it on to Meander.
Okay, this next letter is from...oh, fancy parchment...oh, wow, okay, this letter is from the fairy Princess Apogee of Perigee, The Penumbral Shadow. Their highness says they can only interact with others during an eclipse, so listening to Dear Liisphyra gives them some connection to the rest of Grevelon. Well I’m so happy I can give that to you...your majesty? Sorry, I’m not used to speaking to royalty, I’m not sure what the proper terms are. Uh, uh but thank you for listening...highness...majes...sorry, okay, moving on, thank you.
Caper Coreabiltk writes from the deck of the Dragonhide. Caper is a “sailor”–not sure why “sailor” is in quotes. The Dragonhide...why does that sound familiar? Caper says she plays the show for the crew while they do their chores around the ship! Oh, well, if the crew of the Dragonhide is listening...ahoy to Caper and the rest, and thanks for listening!
This next letter is from AnnaLee Donahue...oh, and Willaford and Emilyn Donahue! They write:
“Dear Liisphyra,
My name is AnnaLee Donahue. I just wanted to say thank you for doing Dear Liisphyra. My parents are divorced, so my siblings and I are often traveling back and forth between the Towering Forest and the Golden Woods of Sundar. I’m a little over 100 years older than my siblings (we’re wood elves), so I’ve had some trouble connecting to them in the past. Listening to your show together while we travel between homes has given us something to connect over.”
Oh, and then they wrote, “May Namrys smile on you,” in Elvish. And it’s signed AnnaLee, Willaford, and Emilyn Donahue. That’s so sweet, thank you all for listening!
Syler Dragomtear writes in to say that they struggle with social awkwardness, which can be tough as a genie who has people approaching them all the time requesting their wishes be granted. Syler has used some of the advice given on the show to help deal with these situations and their awkwardness.
Well, Syler, I can completely relate to struggling with social awkwardness. But I’m glad you’ve found some of the advice given on the show personally helpful to you! Thanks for listening!
This letter is from Elvenia Petalsprout, who’s a witch! She says she loves listening to Dear Liisphyra while she makes spells and potions.
I love how productive you all are while listening to the show! I’m personally very bad at multitasking, so that’s very admirable. Thanks for listening, Elvenia!
This letter is from Wisp, who’s a shapeshifter! She says, “I started listening to the show when you answered my friend Delena’s letter, and I’ve been hooked ever since.” Oh, I remember, Delena was also a shapeshifter! That’s so nice, well, thank you Wisp for listening, and thank you Delena for recommending the show!
Okay...Cowrin Nautilus writes in from the Backenkatz Academy of Magic! “I’m here studying to be a wizard, but I’m an ocean nymph from the Curtibus Sea, so I get homesick a lot. I’ll listen to Dear Liisphyra before I go to sleep, and it helps take my mind off of being homesick.”
Well, that’s so awesome that you’re studying to be a wizard, Cowrin! I can’t imagine what it’s like to be that far from home, but what you’re doing is very admirable, and I’m glad I can help. Good luck with your studies, and thanks for listening!
Amber Marving writes in, saying, “My sister and I love the show! Her birthday’s coming up, and I was struggling with what to get her. I’m half elf half dragon, and she’s a full dragon, and your show is one of the few things we have in common. Could you give her a shoutout for her birthday? Her name is Sapphire. Thanks, love the show!”
Yes, of course, happy happy birthday Sapphire! I hope you have a fantastic birthday, and thank you, and Amber, for listening to the show! I will eat a slice of cake tonight in honor of your birthday.
Trip Greenapple writes in to say he’s a centaur with four left feet. “I appreciate when you talk about being clumsy–it makes me feel less alone!”
Gosh, I don’t know if I’ve told any stories about me being clumsy recently, but Namrys knows I have them. I walked straight into the station’s door an hour ago, thinking it was open. So don’t worry, Trip, you’re not alone. Clumsy folks unite! We’ll probably spill something on each other almost immediately, but we’ll unite nonetheless!
Nylon Nqui says hello from the Iwern River! They’re a water nymph, and they say that they listen to Dear Liisphyra while cleaning up litter on the riverbank. Well, thank you Nylon, for taking the time to do that. If anyone’s listening right now who’s a litterer–stop that! Nylon has better things to do than clean up your trash. But thank you for listening to the show!
Aurki Greldonii writes in: “My dad’s a full dragonborn, and he’s always believed I’m destined to be a great adventurer and help people. I’ve always been afraid to tell him that I’d rather be a writer, but I know you would tell me that I just need to be honest with him, so I was. He was disappointed at first, but now he’s the biggest fan of my writing. Love the show, keep it up!”
That’s so great, Aurki! And hey–just because you’d rather be a writer than an adventurer doesn’t mean your dad was wrong to think you’re destined to help people. Writers help people too, just in a different way. Hopefully I can read your writing some day–thanks for listening to the show!
This letter’s from Phinsmai Rocks, who writes:
“Hi Liisphyra, my name is Phinsmai, and I’m 10 and I’m a centaur. I like listening to your show and I also like stones. I think you give good advice. Your voice gets squeaky sometimes and it’s funny.” Well that’s...very honest of you to say, an astute observation. “Keep making your show because I want to keep listening. Love, Phinsmai Rocks.” That’s very nice, thanks for listening, Phinsmai.
My voice isn’t that squeaky, is it? I’m overthinking this, okay, moving on. [clears throat] [deeper] Moving on.
Okay...Primrose is a wildflower nymph who writes in from the Hills of Longforn! Oh, and there’s a beautiful bracelet in the envelope. “I’m a jeweler, and I love listening to the show while I work. I made this bracelet for you. It has an umlit gemstone set in it, which is meant to help improve the wearer’s vocal stamina. Since you talk so much on the show, I thought the bracelet could help.”
That’s so sweet, thank you Primrose. It’s a beautiful bracelet, I’m putting it on right now. I could definitely use the help, my voice is always tired by the end of the show. Maybe that’s why Phinsmai thinks I sound squeaky...nevermind, I said I was moving on, I’ve moved on! Thanks for listening to the show, Primrose, and thanks again for the bracelet!
Oh, this letter has some beautiful cursive calligraphy. This is from Shula Anspeks, who is a snail! Oh wow, that explains the calligraphy. Oh, and there are some beautiful dried flowers in the envelope. Shula writes, “These are wisten flowers, some of my favorites. I love wisten-ing to your show!” [laughs] That’s a good pun. Well, thanks Shula for wisten-ing, and thank you for the flowers! I’m going to frame these and hang them at the new station.
Okay, this letter is from Drawde Leadfeather. Drawde writes:
“Dear Liisphyra,
My name is Drawde Leadfeather. I used to be a crewmember on the Dragonhide, under the legendary pirate Captain Morley “Three Thumbs” Windborne.”
Oh, that’s why the Dragonhide sounded familiar. Ohh, Caper’s a pirate. Things are making sense now. Continuing:
“One of my old crewmates introduced me to your show–” oh, that must’ve been Caper! “–and now that I’ve gotten my own ship, I play it for my new crew! However, I don’t have a ton of name recognition yet, so my crew currently consists of three people, one of them being my cousin Brackley. But they all love the show, especially Brackley!”
Well, glad to hear you all listen to the show! Um, morally I don’t know if I can wish you luck in your endeavors, but...um...yeah, thanks for listening to the show!
This letter’s from Jimbo “The Smallest” Pebbles. Jimbo says they’re the smallest rock gnome in a punk rock gnome cavern–huh, I’ve never heard of a punk rock gnome, cool–and listens to the show when they need a break from the pounding bass echoing off of the cave walls. Thanks for listening, Jimbo. Hopefully you can hear me right now, if the music’s really loud. [yells] Thank you, Jimbo!
[Normal volume]
Oh, we’re close to the bottom of the stack! Okay, this letter is from Aslo Armarya, a Rakshasa mercenary. Aslo says they like to listen to the show when they’re between jobs, especially when they’re in a town where they don’t know many people. Thank you for listening, Aslo!
Okay, last letter! Oh, and this one is from an adventuring party! Artemis Gentleheart, a dragonborn healer, Leonie Rosepuff, a fairy wizard, and Illinora Sarridi, a lesbian harpy fighter. Wow, what a team! They’ve been adventuring for almost a year now, and started listening to the show together while traveling. They still don’t have a name for their adventuring party, and would appreciate any suggestions.
Oo, adventuring party names! Okay, yeah, how about, um...um...how about, the...the, the, the...the Cool...the Cool...Adventurers? No, I don’t have anything.
Oh! Wait! Illinora, Leonie, Artemis. I-L-A. Ila in elvish means, “for all.” Oh, and a lot of adventuring parties have a number in their names...so how about, “Three For All?”
I don’t know, this is a lot of pressure, I’m sure you can come up with something better.
I feel like I might be witnessing history right now. Years later I’m going to look back at this and think, “Remember when Three For All wrote in to my show?” Or, “Remember when the Cool Adventurers wrote in to my show?” Anyway, thanks for listening, and good luck on your adventures!
And that’s it, that’s the pile! Thank you to everyone who wrote in–you know, Ruvyn can tell me the numbers of how many people tune into the show, but it just makes it all a little more real to actually hear from the folks who are listening. But also, thank you to everyone who listens to the show, even if you don’t write or call in. Your quiet support means the world to me–I couldn’t do this show without you!
Alright, alright, Ruvyn’s been giving me the “wrap it up” signal for the past three minutes, so I guess I am long past due to wrap this up.
Thank you for listening to Dear Liisphyra. We’re gonna go quiet for a bit, but we’ll be back soon in our new station, bigger and better than ever! Well, maybe not bigger. Ruvyn said the new station might be a little smaller. But definitely better than ever! Or, at least, as good as it’s been. You know what, let me just say “we’ll be back” and leave it at that. We’ll be back!
But in the meantime, keep your chin up, and I’ll talk to you again real soon. Bye for now!
Nicole:
Stick around ‘til the end of the episode for a special message from Katie.
Thank you for listening to Dear Liisphyra, which was created, written, and edited by Katie Siegel. Liisphyra, Kimble and Bimble, and the Sponsor were voiced by Katie Siegel. And I’m Nicole. Hi!
If you enjoy the show and want to help it grow, please take a minute to leave a kind review on the Apple Podcasts app. If you do, Katie will probably eventually make a TikTok reading it.
We have Dear Liisphyra merch! Check it out at teespring.com/stores/katiefliesaway.
For more Dear Liisphyra, check it out @DearLiisphyra on TikTok. You can also follow @DearLiisphyra on Twitter and Instagram. Or don’t, live your life. Bye!
Katie:
Hi everyone! First off, thank you all again so much for your love and support of the show. Like I said in the last episode, we’ll be going off the air for a few months to prep for coming back with season 2 in January. If you have any friends who you’ve been meaning to recommend the show to, now would be a great time for them to start. But, in the meantime, make sure you’re following Dear Liisphyra on TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter–I’m hoping to post some fun stuff on there in the meantime. Can you all tell that I’m trying to keep my voice lower? [laughing] So I don’t sound like Liisphyra?
I was blown away and truly honored by how many character submissions I got for this episode, and even more blown away from how creative and different they all were! This is definitely something I want to do again in the future, so if you missed it this time, start working on those characters for the next one!
So, I just wanted to go through and thank all the kind folks who submitted characters for this episode and included their name in the form to be thanked at the end of this episode. And at the risk of sounding like every substitute teacher ever, so sorry if I mispronounce your name, or already mispronounced your characters’ names wrong in the episode. Okay, here we go:
Willow Snopdrag, the tree-obsessed wildflower nymph, was created by Emily Kay McNeeley.
Coal Istaki, the centaur surfer bro who makes and paints custom surfboards and sent one to Liisphyra, was created by Raz.
Meander Bankedrock, the adventuring bard searching for their daughter Thalwegga, was created by Morgan Adams.
The fairy Princess Apogee of Perigee, the Penumbral Shadow, who can only interact with others during an eclipse, was created by Alice Kyra.
Caper Coreabiltk, the human sailor, was created by Ziana Gill (who listens to the podcast while doing chores, which I ended up giving to Caper as well!)
AnnaLee, Willaford, and Emilyn Donahue, the wood elf siblings who travel between their divorced parents’ homes and bond over listening to the show, were created by Alissa, Wyatt, and Emelia SasserCollins.
Syler Dragomtear, the socially awkward genie, was created by Maximilian.
The witch Elvenia Petalsprout, who loves listening to the show while making spells and potions, was created by Bianka Garcia.
Wisp the shapeshifter was created by Julia.
Cowrin Nautilus, the ocean nymph who wants to be a wizard and listens to Dear Liisphyra before going to sleep, was created by Matan.
Amber Marving, the half elf half dragon who needed a birthday gift idea for her sister, was created by Sailor.
Trip Greenapple, the clumsy centaur, was created by Sam.
Nylon Nqui the water nymph was created by Bailey.
Phinsmai Rocks, the young, brutally honest centaur who loves stones, was created by Avni Malik.
Primrose, the wildflower nymph jeweler who listens to the show while working, and sent Liisphyra a bracelet, was created by Alora.
Shula Anspeks, the snail who loves flowers and flower puns, was created by Alex.
Drawde Leadfeather, the low-level halfling pirate, was created by Eddie Feeley.
Jimbo “The Smallest” Pebbles, the smallest rock gnome in a punk rock gnome cavern, was created by Astrid.
Aslo Armarya, the shy Rakshasa sellsword, was created by ZiggyGamma.
The dragonborn Artemis Gentleheart was created by Aiden, the fairy Leonie Rosepuff was created by Lyanna Buchanan, and Illinora Sarridi, the lesbian harpy (who’s also flightless, but I wasn’t able to squeeze in but I needed everyone to know about it) was created by Pigeon Rose. And now they’re an adventuring party, which was created by me!
Thank you all again so much. I am so excited to see what season 2 has in store. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye!