GOAL-SETTING AND VALUES 

Why values-based goals? 

Research suggests that goals which are consistent with our values are (1) more likely to result  in us following through on them, and (2) more likely to bring us fulfilment. A good life is one in  which we derive meaning from connection with what we value most, after all.  

Goals which are aligned with our values also mean we are more likely to find the motivation to  see them through when the going gets tough or we are ‘not in the mood’. There will be many  times when we feel like that, and it usually helps to admit that, while acknowledging that the  activity is important to you. In that instance you can choose to do it anyway.  

It also means that when inevitable setbacks occur, all is not lost. Goals are often dependent on  factors outside of our control. If we focus just on achievement of the goal, we can get easily  defeated by supposed ‘failures’. But if we measure ‘success’ as continuing to act in accordance  with our values, then we can feel good about our efforts, even if the goal itself isn’t reached.  

Don’t over-invest in goals: 

Clinging too tightly to goals can have disastrous consequences. This was most famously  described in the accounts of the people who died on Everest (Kayes 2006). Many of them  achieved their goal of ascending to the summit, but died in the descent, having taken undue  risks in uncertain weather conditions. It is very easy to get ‘fused’ to a goal and press on  regardless of changing circumstances. Remembering the value that inspired the goal can  guard against this.  

Set positive goals (not negative or passive ones): 

‘Stop talking over people in meetings’/ ‘don’t work on weekends’ - are both examples of  negative goals. Similarly, ‘I want my partner to be more loving’/ ‘my kids to listen more’ are out  of your control. Instead, set goals based on what you want and what you can do: ‘I will  communicate my needs to my partner’/ ‘I will leave work by 5pm Friday and I will check emails  again first thing Monday morning’.  

Rethinking SMART: 

Harris (2009) suggests a different interpretation of the well-known acronym SMART:

Specific: don’t set vague goals such as, ‘Spend more social time with work colleagues’. Instead  be specific: ‘Invite three work colleagues for coffee this week’ is a goal. You should be able to tell  when you’ve met your goal.

Meaningful: does the goal have an important personal meaning to you and is it clear how the  goal connects to your values?

Adaptive: is the goal likely to improve or enrich your life in some way?  

Realistic: unrealistic goals risk failure and the sense of hopelessness that follows. Set goals  that are challenging but which you can achieve. Set goals that you can continue to achieve over  the medium-long term too. You might to able to exercise for an hour a day, for the first week,  but eventually, we won’t have the time or energy. Don’t set yourself up for failure.

Time bound: being clear on when we will do something adds momentum and accountability  and makes action much more likely. If the activity is important, it should be in your calendar.  

Five exercises for setting goals linked to values:

1. Appreciative Inquiry

Appreciative inquiry is a positive psychology approach based on the idea that it is more  effective to picture success, than fix ‘problems’. In this approach, you build on what is already  working and do more of it (Cooperrider et al 2008). Orem and Binkert (2007) adapted it for use  in coaching, using the four ‘Ds’:

● Discover: appreciate the best of what is happening right now. What does a good day look  like? Think of the times you feel most alive, at peace, happy. What are the essential  ingredients?  

● Dream: what could make it even better? How would you sustain peak experiences? How  could you repeat them? If you had three wishes for the future, what would they be? If you  woke up tomorrow and life was as you wanted it to be, what would it look like? What  would there be more or less of?  

● Design: how can you make that a reality? What practical changes would make a  difference? Remember, some changes might not be possible immediately, so think  about the medium term too.  

● Deliver: embed new ways of being. What do you need to give more time to? What needs to  come out of your diary? What are you prepared to do less of to make space for new  activities? Your schedule should look different at the end of this exercise!

2. MoSCoW - discover your priorities  

MoSCoW is useful when we are overwhelmed with priorities. The acronym is derived from the  first letter of each of the four categories below (Clegg & Barker, 1994):  

● Must have: These things are critical for success. Check the number of items you have and  reflect honestly on whether it is realistic. Do you need to reallocate items to the  categories below?  

● Should have: These things are important but not essential. Or, they could be just as  important as the ‘must haves’, but not right now - they may be things you need to work  towards. Review them carefully and decide whether any should move up or down.  

● Could have: These things are desirable but not necessary. They will improve your  experience and and your satisfaction, but they should only be pursued if time and  resources allow.  

● Won’t have: These are the things that are less critical right now - they have the lowest  pay-back. Keep them under review.  

3. Coat of Arms

In this exercise you are trying to access your core values and beliefs. Grieve (2021) calls these  values the fundamental ‘policies’ that define who we are. They can be surprisingly difficult to  articulate or pinpoint - hence this exercise.  

Each symbol on a coat of arms represents an important meaning to the person or country to  whom it belongs. In this exercise, you draw your own personal coat of arms, by capturing the  things that you value most and which guide your philosophy of life and your behaviour.

First, create a picture of a blank coat of arms, divided into six sections (google: ‘blank coat of  arms’ for a template). Then populate it with six things you value most. These could be related to  your family background, personal achievements, ambitions not yet met or anything else that  represents something fundamental about you. Use words/ phrases/ pictures/ symbols to  denote these. In the banner below, craft a simple sentence to describe these items. This is your  personal motto!

4. My Ideal Life:

This exercise prompts you to project 10-20 years into the future and envision who you will be  and what your life will entail (Boyatziz, Smith & Van Oosten 2019). It’s not about setting a goal,  devising a strategy, or forecasting the future. It’s a dream or vision - which compels and excites  you.  

Imagine 10-20 years from today - you are living your ideal life, in a location you’ve always  dreamt of, with the people you want to be surrounded by. If work is part of the picture, you are  doing the type and amount of work you love. Describe the scene in rich detail.  

Imagine having a camera attached and capturing the scene as you go. Reflect on what images  you see in the video of that ideal day. Where are you? What are you doing? Who else is with you?  How do you begin your day? What activities take up your morning? And so on.  

5. Values Cards:  

Our core values are sometimes surprisingly difficult to pinpoint. This exercise gets you to try to  be really honest and precise about your values. It also encourages you to accept that some may  be less conscious and may even be different to those you initially assume.  

For example: how important is wealth to you? Try to be really honest. Similarly, how important is  it to be popular and well-liked? Is it important to have a job that has authority and status?  Which is more important: to carry out your duties and obligations in a courteous way, or to  question authority and the status quo? Is self-control more or less important than  spontaneity?  

Spending time thinking about what is most important to you can reveal that some of your  motivations and values were previously hidden from you. Also, that sometimes there is a  discrepancy between your ‘espoused-theories’ and your ‘theories-in-use’ (Argyris, 1995).  

Using a set of cards can help you with this activity. One useful resource is here: https:// motivationalinterviewing.org/sites/default/files/valuescardsort_0.pdf 

There are many variations of this activity, but broadly, each asks you to review the cards and  place them each in one of five piles, from ‘no importance’, to ‘greatest importance’. Sometimes  this will be immediately clear to you. Other times you will have to think hard about it. That’s the  point of the activity!  

An online version of the activity can be found here: https://motivationalinterviewing.org/value card-sort-online-game 

There is no ‘right answer’ to the number of cards in any one column, but you want to end up  with a manageable number of ‘greatest importance’ (ideally not more than half a dozen or so).

The final part of the exercise is to ask how you are using your core values in your work and in  your personal life and to see where your core values might be at odds with any of your roles and  relationships. From there, you can make adjustments to your life, in accordance with your  values.