TRANSLATION BY NIGHTFURMOON (nightfurmoon.tumblr.com)
ENGLISH SCRIPT FOR THIS VIDEO, WATCH IT HERE! https://youtu.be/vsIfDtpk2cs
Narrator: Congratulations! If you’re watching this it’s because you want to go from being a mediocre villain to being a mediocre villain with an evil corporation! Get ready to see what you mustn’t do with…
Narrator: *deep breath* The orientation video for possible future subsidiaries (and probably rejected and annihilated), seeking to turn their small evil into a diabolic- Sorry, diabolical corporation and subsidiary of Black Hat Organization. For those who are unaware of the term subsidiary, it means that their souls and existences will be owned by Black Hat Organization. but this time you’ve donated them voluntarily. With unlimited resources, your diabolical purposes and disturbing ideas will be mass produced.
Horrifying corporations of the existence, which are also owned by the company behind these videos and your future lord Black Hat Organization.
Narrator: Long story short, *all that gibberish lmao don’t ask I have no idea either*
Black Hat: Welcome, future slaves...
Black Hat: Welcome, insolent leeches-
Flug: Err sir (jefecito)- (yes I’m writing the times he’s called Black Hat jefecito because it’s hilarious.)
Black Hat: What?!
Black Hat: Welcome, future subsidiaries-
Flug: *sneezes* SORRY DON’T HIT ME DON’T HIT ME
Black Hat: I HAD ALREADY GOTTEN IT YOU HUGE-
Black Hat: Welcome to the orientation video for companies aspiring to become subsidiaries of Black Hat Organization. Throughout the years I have absorbed millions of evil companies that thanks to me are now leaders in the diabolical industry.
Narrator: If you want to be part of the most powerful corporate villainy network that ever existed, then take note because we will tell you the requirements that you and your company have to meet through analyzing one of the already subsidiary companies of Black Hat Organization, chosen carefully by our leader Lord Black Hat.
Black Hat: Actually I’ll chose one randomly like I always do. *Presses button* Muahaha! Wrong button…
Narrator: And the chosen company to be curelly destroyed is!... Boxmore!
Black Hat: I don’t remember that garbage dump being my subsidiary…
Flug: It’s one of the most recent ones sir (jefecito). It was acquired through Cosma.
Black Hat: And what are they supposed to create, boxes?!
Flug: Ahm… Nowadays it’s the main mechanical AI producer.
Black Hat: Ah, machiavellian machines! You should’ve told me earlier, it must be a profitable subsidiary. Who’s in charge of this evil company?
Black Hat: I see… Lord Tontoman. This thing chose such a stupid name! Here it says that he’s tried to destroy ‘Lakewood Plaza Turbo’, which is ruled by Mr- *horrific demonic noises* *coughing* This cough… Ahem, Mr Gar. What kind of name is that?! And his assistants. They’re completely irrelevant.
Flug: Ahmm their names are Enid, Radicles and I think the kid is Kaio-
Black Hat: SHUT UP! I said they’re irrelevant.
Black Hat: (talking about Radicles voice, who has the same VA as Flug) That guy’s voice is annoyingly familiar…
Flug: That’s weird sir (jefecito)-
Black Hat: SHUT UP your voice irritates me!
Narrator: What makes Boxmore a decent subsidiary? Could it be their evil installations? With malefic gadgets to create and destroy subordinates!
Black Hat: BAH! If he was really suffering it would sound like this. *agonizing screams* Aahh… Such a pleasant melody.
Black Hat: Let’s have fun watching how this poor excuse of a hero succumbs to Tontoman’s evil installations!
Black Hat: Why does NOBODY understand the importance of security?! Laser beams over here, mechanical saws there, hydraulic press right here, fire trap, poison darts, bottomless pit and a giant boulder as a final touch… How do they let him happily pass!? Clearly their installations are trash!
Narrator: Could it be... Their evil subordinates?
Random bot: I am… Jethro!
Black Hat: Those mechanical minions are useless! My robotic infiltrates are much more ruthless…
All the infiltrated robots: Hail Black Hat…
Black Hat: Now let’s go back- Where’s the red robot?
Black Hat: How disappointing… Where’s the mechanical orange?!
Black Hat: Rule 302: Manipulate the hero into doing whatever you want.
Black Hat: How did you expect them not to recognize you with such a mediocre outfit?! Such a horrible skinwalker…
Black Hat: Clearly those henchmen don’t make the company worth it! Their leader better not be an embarrassment!
Narrator: Could it be… Their evil boss?
Black Hat: Let’s see what his enemies shave to say about him. Your rival’s opinion must show how scared they are of you...
Black Hat: It’s true, he has always been a nerd! Even in Bachillerato/High School! (bachillerato is like the last 2 years of high school)
Black Hat: How is a hero going to fear that greaseball! At least his robotic henchmen should treat him with respect and supremacy!
*cue all of them calling Boxman dad*
Black Hat: How does he allow his servants to call him like that?! The FIRST and LAST word that came of out 505’s mouth was ‘dad’, and since then he hasn’t used any more words…
Black Hat: A tantrum?! What a disappointment… His fury is just like a child’s! I still remember my most recent wrath…
Narrator: Could it be...Their evil pans?
Black Hat: What?! This incompetent donkey lets his minions come up with plans for him?! USELESS! If he can’t make his own evil plans, then how is he going to lead an evil company? Let’s see how his dirty plan goes…
Black Hat: Now that you have the hero in your cla… Chicken claws, show me how you’re going to use him for your fatal plans!
Black Hat: So this pig wants to destroy their friendship. And let me guess… He wants these three inept heroes fight against each other. That’s why a subordinate doesn’t come up with an evil plan, they don’t know anything! To destroy their friendship, you must eliminate at least ONE of them, that way you’ll destroy their affection chain. Otherwise you’ll just strengthen their bond. It’s OBVIOUS.
Black Hat: I told you, fat pig.
Black Hat: Eugh! What’s happening to you, bloody idiot?! Are they hitting you with friendship? That’s intangible! Like a demon.
Boxman: That only strengthened their bond!
Black Hat: But of course, you huge imbecile! At least tell me now that you have them in your lair, you’ll eradicate them personally-
Black Hat: YOU HELPED THEM TO ESCAPE?!?!?! ENOUGH, I DON’T WANT TO KEEP ANALYZING THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A VILLAIN AND SUBSIDIARY!
Flug: Don’t get mad sir (jefecito), we didn’t reach 10 minutes yet-
Black Hat: PUT WHATEVER, I DON’T CARE I DONT CARE!
Narrator: This is a commercial sponsored by Black Hat Organization: ‘Evilness at your door!’ If you’re as naïve as Boxman and you can’t come up with your own evil plans or you leave your plans in hands of your subordinates like these, suffer no longer! Black Hat organization has the solution. We present you Black Hat’s evil plans service, where we turn your most mediocre ideas into diabolical wonders! Millions and millions of villains all around the world have discovered the benefits of a perfect plan thanks to Black Hat’s evil plans service. More and more plans by miscreants are solved thanks to his perverse service.
(The flying words in this bit say: kidnappings, destroyed bases, collapsed plans, diabetes, headache, taxes)
(The newspaper articles say: ‘Robbed banks’, ‘No more heroes in the area’, ‘Who coordinates evil?’)
Metauro: My name is Metauro and thanks to Black Hat’s evil plans service, my horrible goals have been fulfilled. . Can I see my family now?
Narrator: With Black Hat’s evil plans service, you could go play Bingo, go fishing or spend time with your grandmother while Black Hat organization designs your plan. Call now and acquire Black Hat’s evil plans service, only for the price of your poor, pathetic and deplorable existence! If this doesn’t convince you, listen to the words of our evil fundator Lord Black Hat.
Narrator: Our operators are waiting for you! So grab that damned telephone and order not one, TWO- Wait, THREE of Black Hat’s evil plans services! Call now!
Flug: But sir (jefecito chulo), what are we going to do with Boxman?
THAT’S ALL FOLKS. BE SURE TO WATCH THE ORIGINAL VIDEO AND SUPPORT IT! You are not allowed to use these without my permission. There was a reason I didn’t reupload the video with these subs, I want the original to get all the views! That’s the only way of showing CN we love Villainous.