Clapcast 09: Behind the Bit: Art Isn't Boring

Transcriber: shreya (jay#7232)

DRE: Remember when Jack didn't think time.is was a website?

AUSTIN: I do remember that.

SYLVIA: [laughs]

DRE: That was pretty amazing.

AUSTIN: For a while, too. For weeks. Maybe longer than weeks? I can’t even remember. What did he think we were doing? When we were like, alright, let’s clap at 40, or whatever. Did he think? (cross)

DRE: (cross) I think he- he just thought you were saying the time that we will clap is…

AUSTIN: But what would that- I ,yeah, let’s clap at 55. For real, on this real website, that really exists.

(clap)

JANINE: I- [starts laughing] I did like a tiny baby clap because I like, panicked, it’s not even, it’s barely a- [laughs]

DRE: [laughing]

AUSTIN [exasperated]: Okay.

JANINE and DRE: [laughing]

AUSTIN: Let’s do it again at 10, let’s do it at 10, let’s do it at 10.

(clap)

SYLVIA: (cross) I was early.

AUSTIN: (cross) Okay, so.

JANINE: (cross) Okay, that’s a grown-up clap.

AUSTIN: Good, I’m glad. I’m proud of you. I knew you had it in you.

JANINE and DRE: [chuckling]

AUSTIN: Um… alright, let me switch over to my notes.

SYLVIA: Oh, I need to very quickly clear some space, cause I only have enough recording space for two hours and forty-eight minutes.

AUSTIN: Oh, that’s a problem. (cross) You should have- I mean, that, you would be fine, probably.

SYLVIA: (cross) That is a big old problem.

AUSTIN: I don’t wanna go much longer than that.

SYLVIA: (cross) So-

AUSTIN: I don’t wanna go that long at all, actually. I’d like to be done way sooner than that today.

SYLVIA: For sure, I am recording another podcast right after this though.

AUSTIN: Gotchu. Gotchu.

DRE: [laughing]

JANINE: Hm.

AUSTIN: Fair. Alright.

[synth music, 1:25]

ALI: [sighs] Should we go to Roll 20?

AUSTIN: Yeah, everyone should- should Roll 20, and then-

KEITH: (cross) Roll 20.

AUSTIN: Oh, boy.

DRE: We need to clap still, right?

ALI: Yup!

AUSTIN: Everyone, we gotta clap. We gotta do a quick little clap.

ALI [tired]: (cross) Yeah, oh.

AUSTIN: 1, 2, 3, okay.

KEITH: (cross) I thought you were setting up for a clap, and I was like “oh, dude, I’m so not ready.”

SYLVIA: Are we supposed to clap for the, um? [inaudible]

ALI and DRE: [laughing]

AUSTIN: Sorry, guys.

SYLVIA: AUSTIN, you can’t do this to me in my frail state.

ALI: Aww. [laughing]

AUSTIN: See? Now I feel bad again.

KEITH: Sylvia’s^[1] in frail state.

DRE: [laughing]

ART: Frail State is the university I told Jess she probably should’ve applied to.

ALI, under her breath: God.

AUSTIN: [chuckle] Alright, let’s go- oh. Oh, hoho, my backup was almost completely fucked, cause I was recording way wrong. (under his breath) “The Fall O…”  

KEITH: (cross) Alright.

AUSTIN: USB,

KEITH: I almost forgot to move my little sound guys in place. ‘Sup, sound guys.

AUSTIN: Ex...cuse me?

ALI: Don’t ask. Don’t.

JANINE: All I heard was “‘sup, sound guys” (cross) at the end of all of that, and I don’t even think that was right.

ALI: (cross) We have to start, we can find out later.

KEITH: (cross) ‘Sup, sound guys. It’s my sound guys. My posterboard’s covered in soundproof material.

ALI: (cross) Oh.

AUSTIN: Oh.

KEITH: It’s my sound guys.

AUSTIN: Sure.

JANINE: Ohhh.

AUSTIN: Sound guys.

KEITH: (cross) Yeah, sound guys.

AUSTIN: (cross) Um, let’s clap at 40.

ALI, under her breath: Cool.

(clap)

AUSTIN: Mine completely froze and I went on gut.

DRE: (cross) Same!

KEITH: (cross) Mine froze too! That’s never happened. I thought that you guys were lying about that.

ALI: [laughing]

AUSTIN: No. (cross) Let’s do one more, can we do one more?

KEITH: (cross) I think I, I mean I- I totally nailed it, but.

ALI: Okay.

AUSTIN: Can- can we do one more at the top of the minute.

KEITH and DRE: Sure.

JANINE: Yeah.

(clap)

AUSTIN: Okay. Between those two, I’m sure we’re good.

ART: You’ve stopped being confident now that ALI’s started just exposing you on the internet.

KEITH, DRE, JANINE: [laughs]

AUSTIN: Yeah. 100, we- we- we’ve done this bit already on the recording, so we don’t even need to re-do, dip back in, it’ll be boring. [sighs]

ART: Rude.

ALI, laughing: Okay.

[synth music, 3:12]

ALI, deep breath: Yikes. Let’s go and clap in fifteen seconds.

JANINE: (cross) Thank god.

Someone (DRE?): [laughs]

AUSTIN: (cross) [laughs] Thank you for giving us time to get to time.is.

(scattered clap)

ALI: Oh, that was [laughing]

KEITH: (cross) That was rough, that was bad.

AUSTIN: (cross) Ohhhh.

JANINE: (cross) I only heard two.

AUSTIN: (cross) Twenty-five. That was the, yeah, well.

ALI: I heard four.

(scattered clap)

JANINE, panicked: Mine stopped! My- (cross) my thing didn’t-

KEITH: (cross) Mine did too, I had an- I had two stoppages.

JANINE: (cross) I just couldn’t- [laughing]

AUSTIN: (cross) What’s happening?

KEITH: (cross) I don’t know. Here’s the thing, I’ve said this before: The good thing about seconds is that they are always an equal distance apart from each other, (cross) so if you’re on-beat, you’re on-beat.

JANINE: (cross) But my- mine didn’t- mine didn’t stop at the- When we were doing it, it was stopped at the one before? So it just (cross) confused me?

KEITH: (cross) Yeah.

JANINE: Cause I needed that, I need the one before, not the o- anyway. 55?

AUSTIN: Yes.

ALI, under her breath: Sure.

(less scattered clap)

AUSTIN: That was better.

KEITH and DRE: (cross) Yeah.

AUSTIN: Maybe.

KEITH: I think the last one was the best one.

ALI: [sighs]

[synth music, 4:09]

AUSTIN: Alright, recording. Looking for this banner that I use, where did it go?

ART: (cross) Is it just us four?

JACK: (cross) Do you have a favorite?

AUSTIN: (cross) Yeah.

JACK: (cross) Yeah, I think so.

ART: (cross) Yes, yes, I can see that from the Powerpoint. Or whatever Google calls this.

AUSTIN: Presentation.

JANINE: GooglePoint.

ART: (cross) GooglePoint.

JACK: (cross) GooglePoint.

AUSTIN: (cross) Yeah, GooglePoint, that’s it.

JANINE: (pause) (cross) Google Slides. Which is...

JACK: (cross) Get to the Google point. Is this Google Slides?  

AUSTIN: (cross) Is it Slides?

JANINE: (cross) If you mouse over, it says Google Slides.

AUSTIN: Huh.

JACK: (cross) Okay.

JANINE: (cross) Tips at the Table, March 2018, Google Slides. [laughs]

AUSTIN: It used to be called Presentations.

ART: Their, their, uh, children’s park development company is known as Google Point, though, (cross) so it’s all-

AUSTIN: (cross) Mm.

JACK: (cross) Ohh my god.

JANINE: (cross) Ahh.

JACK: (pauses) Do Google actually have a children’s park development group?

ART: I- I don’t think so.

JANINE: Give it a few years, they’ll have one at their HQ or something.

AUSTIN: I would bet. I would bet.

JANINE: They’ll make a theme park, but you have to work there.

JACK: Ohh my god. Do you remember when Keita Takahashi was attached to designing a, a children’s play park?

AUSTIN: No!

JANINE: No.

JACK: Yeah, a while back, (cross) um, Keita was making a, making a kids play area, but, it being Keita, the proposal that he ended up submitting was cancelled because it was a.) wildly complicated and over-budget, and b.) would probably just injure people left and right. Um…

JANINE: (cross) Yeah…

JACK: (cross) But the idea of a Keita Takahashi, uh… play area…

AUSTIN: (cross) Yeah! I’m into it. Honestly.

JACK: (cross) It’s… I’m looking at it now. Yeah, “Keita Takahashi playground” is one of the Google auto-filling things. Yeah, there’s sketches for it, it looks very good. (couple seconds of silence) Oh my god! Yeah, this is the… I’ll link it. You’ll see problems with it immediately.

ART: Well, these are just sketches, that doesn’t count, I mean.

JACK: [chuckles]

JANINE: Oh, this was going to be in England.

JACK: Yeah!

JANINE: What’s this circle? (cross) How do-

ART: (cross) It’s a doughnut slide. [laughs] And I think you just (cross) do it forever.

JANINE: (cross) It’s on- is- is it on ropes or poles? I’m not sure- it seems to be on both?

AUSTIN: (cross) That’s in the ground, right? Yeah.

JACK: My favorite one is moving chairs because it just looks so wildly dangerous.

AUSTIN: Oh, that’s- yeah, that’ll hurt you.

JANINE: Oh that looks really fun, I would’ve (cross) loved that.

JACK: (cross) It does look good, though.

AUSTIN: (cross) What about these mini trampolines, these are just-

JANINE: (cross) It’s like, it’s like bumper cars but on- on a rail in a way that is completely (cross) unsecure.

AUSTIN: (cross) Unsafe, also.

ART: (cross) Mini-trampolines seems very unsafe. [laughs]

JACK: The mini-trampoline is like a very good way of breaking your ankle.

AUSTIN: It’s also- it’s also- I’m gonna be honest, deeply uninspired. It’s just- (cross) to the people listening-

ART: Whoa.

JANINE: Yeah.

AUSTIN: It is - 1, 2, 3, 4, let’s say 14, 15 mini-trampolines, like the little, like the exercise trampolines, just next to each other on the ground. That’s the drawing. That’s it- it’s like a checkerboard pattern or like- like a…

JANINE: There’s like some children and some arrows indicated the children might move across these things. (Cross) In some fashion.

AUSTIN: (Cross) And break their fucking necks! It’s bad.

JACK: To be fair, this guy’s masterpiece can be unfairly summed up by “roll everything into a big ball”.

AUSTIN: (cross) No, I get it.

JANINE: (cross) Also, I feel like- I feel like “small frequently-used trampolines in an outdoor public space” is a maintenance nightmare.

JACK: Oh, yeah.

ART: Well, it’s only in England, so it’s not like there’s a big risk of them getting wet and- and awful.

AUSTIN: I like number, uh, four here, which is-

JACK: Swing long?

JANINE: [laughs] (cross) Swing long, one, two, three. But there’s four, so it must be cut off. We don’t have a full image here.

AUSTIN: Swing long, one, two, three. Which is just- that’s true. There are just- it’s like, what if instead of a swingset where there were four individual swings, there was just one long one made out of (cross) metal or plastic.

JANINE: This looks like it sucks. (cross) I’m just gonna say it. Having to swing in tandem with four other people, like, or with three other people, like, make sure they’re all cooperating, fuck that.  

AUSTIN: Yeah, cause you, like- [laughs] this would not be fun.

JACK: (cross) Moving chairs is the highlight.

ART: (cross) Well the highest, the high weight is gonna…

JACK: Oh, yeahhhh.

ART: Win, right?

AUSTIN: (cross) We should-

ART: I kind of like the last one where it’s this, like, horseshoe with a…. (cross) on it?

AUSTIN: (cross) Yeah, like a- that’s like a toddler’s toy.

JANINE: (cross) It’s like those toys at dentist office.

AUSTIN: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah.

JANINE: But it’s, there’s- it’s just the one and it’s like, probably very heavy.

ART: But- but except you can super hurt someone with it. [laughs]

JACK: [laughs]

JANINE: I wanna believe that thing is like 50 pounds and that you’d have to get, like, six children around it to move it even a little, and then it just comes crashing down on one of the kids’ heads, cause they’re like trying to use the other side for leverage or something.

ART: I mean, or they just, like, tied up a kid with a jump rope to the other side, and then like, some, like, slightly whiplash thing, which would absolutely happen in, like, the first week, right?

AUSTIN: Oh, yeah.

JACK: Both are funny, right? Either it’s very heavy and you have to get, like, a whole gang of kids to lift it up, or it’s so absurdly light and bouncy that you just lift it once and it ping pongs between the two for five minutes.

JANINE: What if it’s sticky?

JACK: That does sound like Keita Takahashi, honestly.

ART: (cross) That’s terrible.

JANINE and AUSTIN: [laugh]

JANINE: What if all of this is actually, like, the thing that we’re not seeing is that all of this is about, like, texture? So like, maybe the doughnut slide is like really slimy?

JACK: Oh, god.

JANINE: And like the- the moving chairs thing, maybe it’s like- maybe it’s like slightly electrified? So it kind of buzzes you constantly?

JACK: (under Janine) Oh, I hate this!

ART: Janine, do you know that you’re only picking the bad textures?

JANINE: Maybe the tramp- mini-trampolines are very soapy. (cross) That’s a very good way to kill children.

JACK: (cross) That’s another bad one. With soapy trampolines?

ART: As the, as the recent owner of, of, of a mini-trampoline, um-

JANINE: What?

ART: Yeah, Jess was, one day, was like “I want a little trampoline to bounce on in our house.”

AUSTIN: Cool.

JANINE: I mean, people use those for workout stuff. I had a friend who had one.

ART: Yeah, that’s the idea.

JANINE: It’s like a fitness thing.

ART: Um. It’s harder than I thought it would be. Uh, bouncing on it. Cause I think of trampolines as like an effortless thing, but a- a fitness trampoline is tuned, so it’s like…

JANINE: Yeah.

AUSTIN: The opposite of that.

JACK: Oh! Ohh. It’s got weird action.

AUSTIN: I’m gonna- I’m gonna go live to- to- live. From real life.

JANINE: Mm-kay.

JACK: In the blog post, it says “Something anyone can play with: kids, adults, dogs.” and now, thinking of these- these playground toys as playable by dogs is extremely exciting.

JANINE: Oh, the dogs in the doughnut slide?

JACK: They just don’t-

JANINE: Dogs in any of these, this is Youtube gold.

JACK: Dogs do love trampolines.

ART: I’m not sure that’s true.

JANINE: (over Art) Six dogs on the moving chairs.

JACK: Or the dogs on the, um, swing long?

JANINE: Yeah.

JACK: That’s actually a vine I’ve seen.

JANINE: The swing long one, two, three, you mean.

[Timestamp: 10:41]

JACK: Yeah, sorry, the swing long one, two, three.

ART: Branding.

JANINE: Mm-hmm.

JACK: Gotta get the branding right.  

AUSTIN: Why is this not letting me record? It’s not- [sigh]

JANINE: I don’t know how you would do a dog with the last one.

JACK: With the-?

JANINE: That one’s kind of-

JACK: Mmmmmm. It’s a sort of very localized bad game of fetch, right?

JANINE: But the dog can’t do anything unless that thing is, like, super light. But even then, I don’t know that the dogs could understand you have to go straight up, you can’t go horizontally at it, you know? Think a dog’s instinct is to butt something horizontally and it’s just going to hurt itself.  

JACK: Mm. Mm-hmm. True. All you really need in a playground for dogs is grass and some toys and other dogs, right?

JANINE: Not even that. Pro- I mean, dirt. Dogs love dirt. They just love straight-up dirt.

JACK, laughing: They definitely do, yeah. Yeah.

ART (under Jack): Can confirm.

JACK: I was in a cafe today and a pug came in, and uh, I said-

JANINE: What did it order?

JACK, laughing: It did- it ordered a flatbread with, uh, some [laughing] some- some- some avocado. No, I said, I was like looking at the dog, and the lady was like “Do you want to pet him?” And I said “Yes.” And she was basically like “he’s the worst, he’s just a bad dog.”

JANINE and AUSTIN: [laughs]

JACK, laughing a little: Which- which is an interaction I’ve actually had before. I once was in a coffeeshop and a dog was- uh, a man was holding a dog in the queue in front of me, and I said to Kat, “that’s a nice dog”, and the man turned around and said “no, he’s shit”. Which was-

JANINE and JACK: [laughs]

AUSTIN, over Jack: Wow. Owned.

ART: I have to have that interaction with people too, cause people will ask to pet Mabel and the answer is like, “I’m fine with it but she- she’s not going to be”, like-

JACK, over Art: Oh, yeah.

ART: You can try, but it won’t happen, and-

AUSTIN: [laughs]

JACK: Yeah. No, the implication in this man who told me his dog was shit wasn’t that the dog would be unpleasant about it. It was essentially as though I had reviewed the dog a ten out of ten and he wanted to let me know that it was, in fact, a six.  Kind of a dick move.

ART: We bought some Girl Scout cookies the other day and the Girl Scouts spent the whole time trying to pet the dog and it’s like-

JACK, over ART: Nooo.

ART: “I really appreciate your [audio clips out] -ulativeness here, but- (cross) but she-“

JACK, laughing: (cross) The tenacity.

ART: “She’s not going to be into it at any point.” (pause) I got small on my recording, am I small? Am I quiet?

AUSTIN: You’re small-ish.

JACK: You’re a little quiet.

JANINE: Myeah.

ART: Gonna- see if I can- just-

JANINE: You’re just going to get all crunchy again.

ART: Well, not if I just like, what if I just go up 0.04% on Audacity.

JACK: Holy lord, I found some more sketches.

ART: (cross) Or- oh there we go.

JANINE: (cross) Oh boy.

JACK: Oh my god, oh my god. We were looking at the tame one. Holy crap. Oh my god. So.

JANINE: What the fuck even is this? Okay, so the red thing is part of the flower. I thought it was like a-

ART, over Janine: Is it supposed to be, like, ten times the size of these kids?

JACK: I think so.

JANINE, over Jack: Normally the red line has been an indication of some kind of action or motion that has to take place, but the fact that it is used on its- on the flat- so this is like, there’s like a rope on a big, really thick-stemmed flower, like weirdly thickly stemmed flower.

JACK: Is it like bubbly?

ART, over Jack: No one link this in the chat, let’s just see about-

JACK: [laughs] Do we have a link to the Youtube?

JANINE, over Jack: It’s a- It is a play equipment that pulls and plays. It returns to former shape when relinquishing the rope.

JACK: Oh, so it’s like a catapult.

ART: And then the forest, the loop-

JACK, over Art: Forest is good. The loop is-

ART: The loop looks really profoundly unfun .

JANINE, over Art: Okay, the forest, I’ve been in one of these in real life, these already exist, but also the drawing of the, like, little- of the little child climbing through it, it looks like those things are gonna smash shut and kill it. Like it just, it-

JACK: [laughs]

JANINE: It just looks like he’s walking into a Venus flytrap of playground equipment. And he’s gonna be digested.

JACK: Do you not like the loop, Art?

ART, over Jack: The loop is a hamster toy.

JACK: I like the loop, I don’t think it’s…

JANINE: Isn’t the loop just like a luge course?

[Timestamp: 15:02]

JACK: I think it’s a luge course.

JANINE: But you use your body? (cross) All these kids are naked.

ART: (cross) What, how- how are you determining elevation?

JACK: I think- it gets high- the bit the figure on the right is climbing-

ART and AUSTIN: Mmmm.

JANINE: Yeah, it’s- it seems like the same principle as the doughnut slide.

ART: Oh, I thought this was like a tube.

JACK: No.

JANINE: Noo.

JACK: Nooo.

JANINE: Cause there wouldn’t be an entry point, you would just have to seal some children in there. (cross) And hope they had fun. [laughs]

JACK, under Janine: The sole fuzzy figure? Great. Super good. (cross) Don’t really understand what it is, but- lot of work-

ART, over Jack: That’s not a- That’s not a playground equipment though, that’s just a, you’re just, just, that’s a small bear.

JACK: Yeah, that’s just what that is. Next one.

AUSTIN, over Jack: Is the loop on a hill?

JACK: I mean it might be.

ART, over Jack: It must be.

JACK: Yeah.

JANINE: I think that’s the-

AUSTIN: No- Yes?

JANINE: I think the idea’s like it’s a natural version of the donut slide.

JACK: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Oh, is it a slide that’s on a tube?

JACK: This is what Art was saying.

AUSTIN: We’ve already been through this tube situation.

ART, under Austin: Yeah.

JANINE: I think it’s a- cause y- if it’s a tube, no one can get in, and also tubes are like- animals get in there and like debris gets in there…

JACK: Yeah, yeah, yeah…

AUSTIN: There’s- there is an animal in there, they’re showing an animal in there.

JACK, under Austin and Janine: Sort of a mouse.

JANINE: It’s a dog, dogs don’t- dogs are like half-animals, they don’t count.

AUSTIN: That’s a mouse.

JANINE: That’s not a mouse, that’s a dog.

AUSTIN, under Janine: That’s a- [laughs] It’s a giant mouse.

JANINE: It’s a spaniel.

JACK, under Austin and Janine: I think we should move onto big climbing frame, because big climbing frame is a whole…

AUSTIN, under Jack: Okay.

JACK: Big climbing frame is (pause) impressive.

AUSTIN: I really love, on big climbing frame, this mom who’s just unimpressed and needs to go somewhere else.

JACK, laughing, under Janine: Look at the kid!

JANINE: Big climbing frame shows the kind of recklessness that is inherent in all of these designs, but it is laid bare. It is “what if we let a child climb a skyscraper?”

EVERYONE: [laughs]

JACK: What I love is on the right-hand-side of big climbing frame, there is a child sliding down a fireman’s pole-

AUSTIN: Yeah.

JACK: That is easily four or five times the height of a grown human.

AUSTIN, laughing: What I love is-

JANINE: Yeah, that’s like 20 feet, easily.

AUSTIN: Above that is a- a little extra sketch that makes it very clear - this is a structure with volume, this is not just a grid of ladders, this goes inwards.

JANINE: This isn’t like a fuckin’ Mario thing, this is-

AUSTIN: Right, right.

ART: Yeah, it’s awful.

AUSTIN: Uh-huh.

JACK, quietly: It’s great.

ART: Um, then there’s what seems to be another attempt at this trampoline thing, this time they- they’re further apart, (cross) and more-

AUSTIN: W-w-w-wait, did you skip- you skipped a very important one.

JACK: It looks sort of- [laughs] horrifying.

JANINE, over JACK: What’s this drinking bird thing, cause I don’t fucking understand it.

AUSTIN: That’s a catapult. The toy he’s made here, the park toy he’s made? Is a catapult.

ART: (cross) Oh, I didn’t think it was in the same set, cause it looked so different.

JANINE: (cross) Ohhhhhh. Was he bullied?

AUSTIN: Maybe he was the bully, maybe we’ve learned something about Keita Takahashi.

JACK: Well, we can- we can get under some-

JANINE: I wish when I was little I had a catapult so I could fling beloved things from people I didn’t like far away, or also, the people themselves.

JACK, over Janine: No, no, no, I feel- we’re jumping the gun here with the catapult, we should- we should persevere through these sketches before we reserve judgment on the catapult.

JANINE: Why does it just say “dog adult 1.7 meters child 1 meter”?

AUSTIN: Well, now you know the heights, don’t you!

JANINE: W- There’s no dog there! There is no dog in this picture-

AUSTIN: Are you sure?

JANINE: -that says “dog”, it’s just an adult and a child.

AUSTIN: Maybe it’s an invisible dog.

JACK: I like the little clock on the trampoline thing, because the implication is that the game here is to try and go round the thing as quickly as you can. [laughs]

JANINE: Or maybe they’re arranged like the face of a clock?

JACK: Oh, maybe.

JANINE: Mmmm.

AUSTIN: What’s the next one?

JACK: Catapult.

ART: The- It’s like, further apart trampolines, then giant slingshot-

JANINE, under Art: What? Oh yeah.

ART: Then just hamster wheel for a child.

JANINE: I think this- I think the slingshot thing you’re supposed to all play with the, like, you’re supposed to be playing catch but with slingshots? Oh no, it’s for the dogs.

JACK, under Janine: Yeah!

AUSTIN: It’s for the dogs, yeah, yeah.

JACK, under Austin and Janine: But he’s also laid out that little mat.

JANINE: Just throw your shit! I- mm-

AUSTIN: Yeah.

JANINE: Yeah, the little mat made me think it was supposed to be like a “everyone”... I don’t know.

AUSTIN: Yeahhh. I like that the- on that one that there’s a little dot that says “dog”, and I think that that’s a symbol to indicate that Keita Takahashi believes that those little balls are dogs.

JACK and JANINE: [laughs]

AUSTIN: Which really explains a lot about that catapult sketch, and where the missing dog is.

JANINE: I feel like dog- dog ball catapults are like a reasonable idea, but the fact that they’re arranged the way they are tells me again that either Keita Takahashi was never bullied or was a bully-

AUSTIN: Yeah.

JANINE: Because someone’s gonna fuckin’ bean someone else with their ba- like, just put them in a row.

AUSTIN: Saul-

JANINE: Just put them in a row arranged so you can’t shoot side to side, like, then you’re fine.

AUSTIN: Saul in the comments just says “if only”, and I appreciate your commitment to play, Saul. (cross) Also this is written by-

JANINE, over Austin: This last one also seems like- like a- like a… [sigh]

AUSTIN: A bullying device?

JANINE: Like a torture thing?

AUSTIN: Yeah.

JANINE: Like this child seems distressed.

AUSTIN: Yep!

JACK: Mmm.

JANINE: Umm, it seems like they maybe don’t know how to stop, also I wanna sa- I wanna point out, all these little, like, red dots around the outside of this giant- sorry, I should clarify what I’m looking at, a giant human-sized hamster wheel, or child-sized hamster wheel. The child’s head is almost hitting this- this crossbar, but there’s also all these red dots and little, like- it seems like they’re supposed to be lights? Umm…

EVERYONE: Ohhh.

AUSTIN: I hadn’t- I wasn’t reading that.

JANINE: There’s all these, like, Red Terror lights around the outside of this hamster wheel? And it does convey kind of distress or entrapment that is really something.

[Timestamp: 20:00]

JACK: (pause) Big climbing frame is the best.

AUSTIN: I think it’s the best one. I’m- I’m willing to say that.

JANINE: Again, I think it’s the most naked about its actual intentions.

JACK: Mmm, mm-hmm.

AUSTIN: (cross) That’s fair.

JACK: (cross) That kid-

JANINE: (cross) Which is to hurt children. [laughs]

JACK: [laughs] The kid going down the slide on the left is having a great time.

JANINE: I know that that’s a slide, but I keep reading it as a ladder.

JACK: As a ladder that the kid has come loose on?

JANINE: Yeah. Just falling off the side-

JACK, under Janine: It’s the ladder that the-

JANINE: They’re rolling off the side of the ladder because the ladder’s not secured at the top, so it just kinda like tipped, and it’s- yeah.

JACK: Yeah. Alternatively, it’s the ladder that the fire department put to the top of big climbing frame to rescue John- [laughs]

JANINE: [laughs] To rescue the kid on top. Who is stuck.

JACK: That’s climbed up the tippy top. Do we have a Youtube link yet?

AUSTIN: We do, it’s- it’s- it’s in the… thing- Oh, oh, y’all need it, right, right, right. I posted it, but that doesn’t help you. Um…

JACK: No.

JANINE: I mean I- I do subscribe to our Patreon but I’m at the one dollar tier.

AUSTIN: Okay.

JACK: I- I… I don’t. I- I (cross) shouldn’t feel guilty about that, but I do.

AUSTIN: No, you shouldn’t. I linked it.

JACK: Thank you.

JANINE: (cross) No, I fully acknowledge that I- I’m- I fully acknowledge that I’m the silly one. [laughs]

AUSTIN and JACK: [laughs]

AUSTIN: [sighs] Just gonna wait for those to get posted so… we can time.is though. We can do that.

JANINE: Yeah!

AUSTIN: Also, we can wait for this siren to pass.

JACK: [sigh] Oh, oh my gosh. (pause) Is it still snowing, Austin?

AUSTIN: No, no.

JACK: Did it settle?

AUSTIN: I mean, it’s all washed away at this point, even. It’s just gone. Yeah. It was like, it was like, it got to blizzard status, but like, at the end of the day, it was only like sev- six, seven inches of snow, so like- and then it rained a bunch, so… it was never really- I mean, I woke up this morning and there was still snow on the ground, um, but it was not that bad, you know? And at this point, I think it’s all melted off. So.

JACK: I didn’t- I didn’t tell you, but, um, last weekend, we got nine inches of snow, which-

AUSTIN: Oh, wow! That’s a lot for y’all, right?

JANINE: Yeah.

JACK: Like, barely. It’s the most I’ve ever seen it- It’s the most I’ve ever seen it snow.

JANINE: Did you do snow things?

JACK: You- you know I did snow things. Went sledding- I went sledding, uh, I walked in a bunch of snow drifts. Um, I played the classic snow game in the countryside of picking up a sort of a long stick and seeing how deep the snow drifts are. Ah, it was- it was (cross) really nice!

AUSTIN: (cross) Lot of scientific research, it sounds like.

JACK: Oh, so much scientific research into the snow. I did the game where you throw one snowball into the air and then try and hit it with another snowball, um… it was- it was nice, because it came down really, really hard, and then was gone in two days. Um, and it was over the weekend, so… so we weren’t stranded, but we couldn’t open our front gate, which was a novel experience for me. Um, but it’s mostly all gone now! Cause I- I did some tests, some scientific testing with the stick yesterday, and the (cross) snow drifts are-  

AUSTIN: (cross) Oh, very important scientific tool.

JACK: [chuckle] Yeah, and they’re- they’re lessening. They’re lessening. That’s my last weekend.

AUSTIN: [laughs] Alright, let’s do a clap at 55?

JACK: Okey-doke.

JANINE: Yeah.

(clap)

AUSTIN: Alright, that was pretty good. Ahhhm, (cross) we ready?

ART: (cross) My time.is skipped 55, so.

AUSTIN: Ooh… it still sounded pretty good.

JACK, under ART: It sounded fine to me.

ART: Yeah, I mean I- I still- I know how long a second is.

AUSTIN, over ART: You think- you got this- you know how time is, yeah, okay.

ART: I know how time.is.

AUSTIN: Right, good. [sigh]

ART: Eh? Huh? Huh? [that sound you make when you made a joke and you want people to recognize it]

[outro synth music]