Autumn in Hieron 17: As Death’s Eyes Look Over The World

[[EPISODE DESC: Hella (Ali) considers making a fateful promise, Lem (Jack) receives a special gift, and Fero (Keith) makes new strides in the field of faux pas.]]

Transcriber: stark (@starkblank)

Note: Double brackets mark timecodes. “??” mark uncertainties on my part.

DRE: Previously, on Friends at the Table:

AUSTIN: Calhoun—who you know as Calhoun—is really Angelo Tristé, who was in line to be the next emperor of this place. [INTRO MUSIC BEGINS] Hella, there’s a knife to your throat. What do you do?

ALI, strained: Hnhh. [pauses] I don’t have a lot of options.

AUSTIN: Meanwhile, Lem and Emmanuel, on the, on the balcony look over and see Brandish and his first mate, along with three other figures behind them.

KEITH: Yo, Emmanuel’s like fucked right now, because his boss just saw him hangin out with the worst dude to be hangin out with.

JACK: I’m going to whip out my violin and start playing Arcane Art, just on the balcony of this hallway.

AUSTIN: What do y— ah, at this point I think Emmanuel is just like:

AUSTIN (as Emmanuel): [heavy sigh]

AUSTIN: I think he’s flabbergasted. I don’t know that he knows what to do.

JACK: If I went and I swang my dueling machete at the ghost, what would it do? Do we know what—

AUSTIN: Good question. You’ve never— Have you ever swung a sword at a ghost before?

JACK, exhaling a laugh: Nope!

AUSTIN: I think, as you’re running at him, he throws his axe at you, that’s on this chain, and it catches you in the shoulder—

JACK: Ah no! Okay.

AUSTIN: But then you lop his head from his shoulders.

JACK: Oh! [wheezes] Okay.

JACK (as Lem)??: I don’t want my friends to get hurt.

AUSTIN: Emmanuel is hanging on with dear life to the railing.

ALI: I think I’m still not helping you. [laughs]

JACK: [pauses] Okay.

AUSTIN: ...What here is evil?

[EVERYONE laughs]

[MUSIC FADES OUT]

JACK: Um, Hella, y— I don’t see how Hella and Fero can be all up like, “Hey, Lem’s just goin around, head in the clouds, havin a great time.” Hella’s just denying mercy to everybody, everywhere, including people on her own team!

ALI: No, but she has like, she has like a thing with these pirate people.

AUSTIN: That’s true.

ALI: And she—

JACK: And I, I don’t think you understand. Lem has a thing with antiquity.

[EVERYONE laughs]

KEITH: And Jack has a thing with antiques!

AUSTIN: [snorts] True. Lem, by the way, this is. This is terrible. [crosstalk JACK: [laughing] A thing for antiques.] That bomb wrecked this room.

JACK: Yeah. Oooh yeah.

AUSTIN: This is infuriating.

JACK: Uh huh. Yeah, like—

ALI: [laughing] You’re having an incredibly bad day. It was really good, and now it’s just bad.

AUSTIN, sympathetically: Huh aww. Yeah.

JACK: And do you know what started it all going wrong? It was you two arriving. I was having a nice time, with who is clearly my [crosstalk ALI: Yeah, and we were sneaking to follow you because you were betraying us.] ghost, undead, pirate, boyfriend.

AUSTIN: I think he’s just a— I think— I don’t think— Was— Is Emmanuel dead? I think he’s alive still. I think we established he was—

KEITH: Yeah no, he's a living person.

AUSTIN: He’s a living human person.

JACK: Oh, I meant he was an undead.

AUSTIN: No, he’s not undead either. [JACK: Oh! Was he?] He’s just, he’s just a man.

JACK: I thought he was part of the crew?

AUSTIN: He is! But they didn’t all die.

crosstalk JACK: I’ve been— [inaudible??]

KEITH: He would— If you killed him, he’d be undead.

JACK: Ohh. Hm. I didn’t—

KEITH: So, you know what? It’s actually not that big a deal that he’s even hanging from this balcony. [pauses, satisfied] He’d just be a ghost man.

AUSTIN: Right.

JACK: But it’s the trust, right?

KEITH: Right, yeah. I’m sure that he still likes being a living person.

JACK: Now, if I was Hella, what I’d be thinking right now would be: If we want to bring this guy on as a hireling, would he be more useful to us as a ghost? [pauses] Um.

ALI: Oh, we’re—?

[KEITH laughs]

AUSTIN: Well he’d be undead first.

JACK: ‘Cause we already know—

AUSTIN: Which is I think, I think that there’s like a V-shaped chart for usefulness? I think it goes from like, “Oh, he’s alive! That’s pretty useful.” To like “Oh, he’s a zombie. Hmm. We can’t really take him places.” And then once he’s a ghost, he gets back to being really useful.

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: That zombie middleground is rough.

ALI: So, the number one difference between me and Hella is that she would not hang out with a ghost.

[pause]

AUSTIN: Right, right. That is a big difference.

JACK, knowingly: Yeahh.

ALI: So. Not even a possibility in her mind.

AUSTIN: Right. [pauses] Alright. So, are you killing Ginny? ‘Cause—

ALI: Absolutely.

Crosstalk KEITH: What if the ghost you were hanging out with could kill Brandish for you?

AUSTIN: Alright. You— What do you— How do you kill her?

[pause]

ALI, apprehensively: Um.

KEITH: If your whole thing is killing Brandish, how come you’re killing Ginny and letting me get hurt?

Crosstalk ALI: ‘Cause I also don’t like Ginny at all.

AUSTIN: And Ginny’s completely at her mercy.

ALI: This is like a team of pirates that I’ve gotten into a lot of shit with. [AUSTIN: Yeah.] To the point where I almost cut Brandish’s neck off.

[pause]

KEITH: Right.

ALI: Like, this has been a personal vendetta for a while.

Crosstalk KEITH: Almost— Not “almost” like you almost started cutting. You did start cutting and almost made it.

AUSTIN: Almost finished, yeah.

ALI: Right.

KEITH: Right.

[pause]

ALI: Right. So, now. Now she’s going all the way; she’s not taking that chance anymore.

KEITH: Again, second example of Not So Into You. ??

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: Okay.

JACK, as if making a delivery: Violence mulligan? Did somebody say violence mulligan?

[KEITH laughs]

JACK: Did somebody say violence— [breaks into a laugh]

AUSTIN: It’s nice when we just have—

KEITH, hammily: Somebody called for Violence Mulligan?

AUSTIN: It’s nice when we just have episode titles. Uh— [ALI and KEITH laugh] Keith, can you write down “Violence Mulligan” next to— on your notes about this episode?

[[5 MIN MARKER]]

KEITH: Yeah, yup. Got it.

AUSTIN: Thanks.

[pause]

AUSTIN: While Hella is— Alright, Hella— Are you just—? Okay! Hella’s just gonna kill Ginny.

ALI: I think I’m— I’m definitely just like, stabbing her?

AUSTIN: Alright. Through the chest, and you can hear your blade vibrate with the choir of the, the kind of ghost council that sings to you as you thrust it through Ginny’s chest. Her eyes roll back into her head and she falls over. [pauses] Brandish screams and leaps over Fero’s body to slash at you, Hella. Give me a Defy Danger.

ALI: A Defy Danger DEX?

AUSTIN: I guess DEX? Um.

ALI: DEX or strength.

AUSTIN: Not strength. This isn— ahh?

JACK: Pirate king is leaping at you.

ALI: ‘Cause I would like, if he’s coming towards me, I would block.

Crosstalk AUSTIN: I kind of like— Are you like, blocking?

ALI: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Yeah, give me a Defy Danger strength. [ALI: Okay.] He’s— This is like one of those situations— This is he’s Windu-ing, here. He’s like,

AUSTIN (as Brandish): RAUURAGGHH

AUSTIN: Y’know like—

JACK: I don’t know what this means.

KEITH: This is a classic Windu.

AUSTIN: This is like a 100% classic Windu.

[pause]

ALI: So I get a 9 on that.  

AUSTIN: Okay, umm. [pauses] You can take damage, or be disarmed. Again. This is like what happened before. This is like, you’re being battered up against the wall I think. He’s like pushing you—

Crosstalk KEITH: Yeah, this is classic Form VII.

[pause]

AUSTIN: Oh my god. [pauses] What’s the actual name of that Form?

KEITH: It’s a classic Juyo!

AUSTIN: Is it Juyo? It’s Juyo.

KEITH: Yeah, Juyo.

ALI: I’m gonna take damage.

AUSTIN: Okay.

[pause, AUSTIN typing]

AUSTIN: Take 9. [crosstalk ALI: ??] To be clear, what’s happening here is he is uh— You’re getting— He rolls 2d10 and takes the best of the two. So.

ALI: I—

KEITH: Hold on, are you dead right now?

ALI: No, no, no. Because I have a— my racial ability is to reroll anyone’s damage roll.

AUSTIN: Ooh, is it anyone’s damage roll?

ALI: Yeah!

KEITH: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Daaaang! That’s really good.

KEITH: So you would’ve been dead right now.

ALI: It says, “yours or someone else’s”—

AUSTIN, to KEITH: No, no no. She wouldn’t. She took 9. She took 9. So go ahead and—

KEITH: But she— You had 13, minus whatever Ginny’s was...

AUSTIN: Ginny didn’t hit her just then, did she?

KEITH: Yeah, because Ginny got a— ‘cause she did the second attack roll.

AUSTIN: Oh! Right, did I not roll Ginny’s damage on her?

KEITH: Oh, I thought that you did.

AUSTIN: Let’s see. I didn’t, I never did. That’s on me. So wait, before we commit to this, let’s fix that right now. [KEITH: Okay.] Good call. [pauses] Alright, you took 5 from Ginny, so you would— Yes.

ALI: Okay. So I’m down—

AUSTIN: You do want to reroll. You do want to reroll. [pauses] Yeah, what are you at? What are you at with that 5?

ALI: So with 5, it turns to 3, so now I’m at 10.

AUSTIN: Yeah. Okay, so go ahead and uh,

[pause]

ALI: So do you want me to reroll it, or should I—

AUSTIN: Ah, no, I’ll reroll it. [AUSTIN typing] Here, you’re using—

KEITH: Hold on, this is a d10 that you’re rolling, right? You're rolling 2d10?

AUSTIN: 2d10, and it’s whatever the highest is, is what.

KEITH: Okay. So you literally cannot die here, but still maybe a good idea—

AUSTIN: Well no, she’s at 10, right?

KEITH: Right. She’s at 10, so if you got, if you rolled a 10...

ALI: If you rolled two 10s— er no, wait.

KEITH: Minus 2 is an 8.

AUSTIN: R r r yeah, you’re right. No matter what, you’re safe. Y y yeah. Good call. [pauses] Still, 8 is better than 9. So. [pauses] So take 6, after your armor.

ALI: Okay. [quietly, almost laughing] Oh my god.

[AUSTIN coughs]

AUSTIN: And you’re pressed up against this wall, pretty firmly. Why can’t I fuckin? Sorry, I’m trying to rotate your stupid character model right here, and roll20 is bad, sometimes. I like it a lot, but sometimes it’s a jerk.

KEITH: I find that sometimes you have to, like, be a little bit off from the button to actually—

AUSTIN: Yeah, that’s what’s happening here is I’ve lost, I’ve like lost the right positioning on the thing here. Which, whatever, it’s fine.

KEITH: Yeah, sure.

AUSTIN: Whatever. It doesn’t matter what direction you’re facing.

JACK: Who’s—

AUSTIN: Lem, what are you doing at this point?

JACK: Uhhh. [pauses, then half-mumbles] I wanna go and help Emmanuel.

AUSTIN: Okay. [JACK pffts, laughs] Go ahead and move yourself over there.

KEITH, feigning offense: Does nobody care I’m about to be stabbed in the back by a pirate zombo?

AUSTIN: Ted is helping—

ALI: No, the zombo just came for me, you are not getting stabbed in the back at all.

AUSTIN: Along with Ted, you help Emmanuel—

KEITH: Oh, did he just go for you? [ALI: Yeah.] Okay then, I forgot. Well. He could still get me.

AUSTIN: He could still get you.

ALI: I think he’s distracted at this point. [ALI breaks into a laugh]

AUSTIN: Yeah, he is also that. That is also true.

KEITH, quietly: Yeah, I guess

AUSTIN: You and Ted manage to help Emmanuel back up.

[JACK laughs]

AUSTIN, brightly: Ted seems alright. Seems like an alright guy. Alright for like a ghost.

KEITH: Wait hold on, why is Ted on our side?

JACK: He’s not. He’s just—

KETH: He just wants— He’s just trying to help Emmanuel. [AUSTIN: Yeah!]

JACK: Presumably. This is news to me.

AUSTIN: He really likes the bread that Emmanuel bakes.

JACK: I still don’t know this yet.

AUSTIN: No, you don’t know his history. ??

JACK: Lem is gonna freak when he finds out that Emmanuel is a pastry chef. [laughs]

AUSTIN: Give me a— So Hella, what are you doing? Or, let’s— Fero, what are you doing? Now that there’s not a blade at your back.

KEITH: Okay, here’s— [like a tough action actor] Here’s what I’m doin’. [taps a surface for emphasis]

[AUSTIN?? laughs]

KEITH: If I could throw a rock at Hella’s dumb— Do you have a helmet on?

ALI: Uh, no.

AUSTIN: I don’t— No, I don’t think so.

KEITH: Head!

[pause, ALI laughs]

[[10 MIN MARKER]]

ALI: Really?

KEITH: Okay. Yeah! No, uh—

ALI, jokingly: Am I gonna take 4 damage from that rock and die?

JACK, laughing: And just keel over?

KEITH: No, you’re gonna take— [JACK, still laughing: Do it!] 9 damage. [pauses] 6, I mean.

AUSTIN: That was a 6.

KEITH: Yeah, no. Um, here’s what I’m going to do. [pauses]

ALI: Oh, that was a joke roll.

KEITH: I’m going to— I’m about to be a big ol’ eagle again. [pauses] That’s what I’m gonna do. And I’m going to roll my... eagle numbers. [SOMEONE inhales a laugh] A 10. So that’s Hold 3. And then I’m gonna— And then, so, Ginny’s dead. [pauses] And hold on, Austin I cannot hear you?

AUSTIN: Right. Sorry, I was muted.

KEITH: Okay. That’s fine. Um. I saw you say “Right” and then I— but I did not hear it.

AUSTIN: Right. Sorry, what are you doing? Say that again?

KEITH: I’m gonna— [AUSTIN: You’re an eagle.] So, Brandish’s back is to me right now.

AUSTIN: Yeah.

KEITH: Okay. So what I’m going to do, is I’m gonna, I’m gonna fuckin claws in his back and just try to... Grrrr!! Right in his stupid shoulders.

AUSTIN: Right. Where you lifted him up before. That time.

KEITH: Right. I’m— I don’t even know if I’m trying to lift him up, I think I’m just trying to fuckin... wreck his shoulder muscles.

AUSTIN: Right.

JACK, responding to something in roll20: An unhelpful message. ??

KEITH: Oh, that’s not the right button.

AUSTIN, laughing: No, that’s not the right—

KEITH: K. So.

AUSTIN: That’s a... really good hit.

KEITH: I’m going to—

AUSTIN: Oh wait, did you do your—? You have to transform first.

KEITH: What d’you mean? [AUSTIN: You—] I already did that, I got a— I got a— I got a 10.

AUSTIN: Oh, you got a 10 on that, also. I see. I see, I see. Okay. So you have Hold 3—

KEITH: Yeah. You have 10, that wrong roll, 10.

AUSTIN: Now 10. Now do your damage.

KEITH: And then I’m going to open myself up for another attack and add another d6.

AUSTIN: Okay! [quietly] ...So that’s 12, minus…

KEITH: 12 damage.

AUSTIN: Okay, so that means he’s at… [pause, AUSTIN typing] that. Okay. You reach into him really good, and I’m guessing that you kinda like, peck at the back of his head, also?

KEITH: Yeah. Yeah.

AUSTIN: And he’s like,

        AUSTIN (as Brandish): AaAaaAaa!

KEITH: With my big giant fuckin eagle [unintelligible??] his shoulders!

AUSTIN: And he… reaches back behind him to grab you... by the neck.

KEITH: Okay.

AUSTIN: You take 10.

KEITH: 10?

AUSTIN: Yeah.

KEITH: Okay.

ALI, surprised: Oh my god.

AUSTIN: And he grabs you, and he flings you forward with all of his might. His lots of might. And slams you into just like, the corner of this room. [KEITH: Okay.] This hallway leading into the, the, kind of sitting room.

KEITH: Have we established how long it takes for me to use a Balance? Is that a full turn, is that a—

AUSTIN: I think it’s a full turn. Yeah. Also, I’m not 100% sure of how the Balance— One sec, I want to read something about the Balance thing that we may have gotten wrong last time.

KEITH: We have, we have talked about this thing.

AUSTIN: Have you done it before? Have you done the Balance thing?

KEITH: I have done it before. I have done it on myself and on others.

AUSTIN. Okay. Okay, you’re good. Yeah. I just wanted to make sure that you could— [pauses] Yeah, you totally can choose how much Balance to spend on each thing.

KEITH: Yep. [pauses] Oh! You know what I haven’t been doing? I haven’t been adding my Balance. Does anybody know how many successful attacks I’ve had this game? I think it’s 3.

AUSTIN: Uh, we can figure that out. Probably. [pauses] Pr- Probably. How do I search? Why does this— Agh. Does roll20 not let me fucking search? I guess not. Uhh—

KEITH: No, but also it wouldn’t help, because my thing is just called “rolling 2d6 plus 2”.

[pause]

AUSTIN: Oh. Right.

KEITH: Or, sorry, sorry. “Rolling 1d8”. So if you search 1d8...

AUSTIN: I mean I can’t search anyway.

KEITH: No, I can. Ctrl+F works.

AUSTIN: Oh, for me it is not working. Roll20 is being bad.

KEITH: Alright, so...

AUSTIN: So figure it out— Figure it out, while we determine what’s happening now. Uh, Hella. [pauses] For this brief moment Brandish is, is, open for— not like— open for attack. You can, you can swing at him, if you’d like.

ALI: Umm, yeah. I’m gonna go for it—

AUSTIN: Or you can not, if you don’t want to. Certainly.

ALI: Yeah, no, ‘cause I don’t have any other options? I can’t like, heal myself.

AUSTIN: Eh, that’s fine. Right, you don’t have any like—

ALI: And I’m not gonna run.

AUSTIN: Right. At this point.

ALI: So. That’s a 7.

AUSTIN: So that’s a 7. [pauses, inhales sharply] And you take damage here. At this point, I think the way the combat is going, he is just enraged at such a point that he’s like in that perfect state of, of— Like, you’ve been in this mode before, you recognize it. [ALI: Right.] Y’know, of just like, everything is gonna go his way. He’s there. Take 10.

[pause]

ALI: Uhh? So how does that work?

AUSTIN: So are you down?

ALI: Yeah.

AUSTIN: This is our first down. This is gonna get real interesting in a second. [pauses] Hella’s down, y’all. Last Breath.

KEITH: I told you that I could heal you.

ALI: Yeah, why didn’t… you do that?

AUSTIN: Mh Hm. So this is…

KEITH: You have to come— I have to touch you. To do it. Y’know I was gonna— Figured you’d come over.

[[15  MIN MARKER]]

AUSTIN, tsking: That’s not how she does!

KEITH: Nmm.

AUSTIN: One second, let me. Let me read from the book—

JACK: I’m a bit stunned.

KEITH, distantly: Alright. Ali’s gonna have to roll a new character…

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: Well! That’s— This is an interesting place to die. Is what I’ll say.

KEITH: What if you just became Emmanuel?

[ALI and JACK laugh]

AUSTIN: You just like became— Like, chuck him over? Okay. One second. Uh… Death. Okay. I’m gonna read from the DungeonWorld book. [reads] “Death stalks the edges of every battle. A character who is reduced to 0 HP immediately takes his Last Breath. Death comes for commoner and king alike—no stat is added to the Last Breath roll. No one knows what lies beyond the Black Gates of Death, but it is said that many secrets of the mortal plane are laid bare in the land of Death’s Dominion.” —p.s. We’re totally in the land of Death’s Dominion already— “When you die, you might just see them.” The, the secrets that lie in Death’s Dominion. “Death offers bargains to some, from the simple to the costly. Death is capricious,” [testing out a pronunciation] Capricious. Capricious? Capricious.

JACK: Capricious.

KEITH: Tomato caprese.

AUSTIN: Capricious? Tomato caprese. Capri pants. [resumes reading] “and may ask a favor in the” [crosstalk KEITH: Capri Sun!] “future or exact a toll. He may demand a sacrifice or ask for something strange and seemingly innocent. Death’s whim cannot be predicted. Depending on the outcome of the Last Breath, the character may become stable. A stable character stays at 0 HP but is alive and unconscious. If they receive healing, they regain consciousness and may return to battle or seek safety. If a stable character takes damage again, they draw their Last Breath once more to face Death.” So. Hella. Last Breath [takes a breath] reads to roll 2d6. Roll plus nothing.

ALI: Okay.

[ALI makes a nervous sound]

KEITH: What does this have to be above, in order to stabilize?

AUSTIN: Above a 7. To get a bargain from Death.

KEITH: Above a 7.

AUSTIN: This is a weird situation, because I— Yeah. It’s a weird situation for a million reasons. [SOMEONE gasps] Great! Hella rolls a 9.

[ALI utters a powerful sound of relief, nervously laughs]

AUSTIN: [reads] “On a 7 to 9, Death will offer you a bargain. Take it and stabilize, or refuse and pass beyond the black gates into whatever fate awaits you.” Alright. Hella. [pauses] Dying here is... a trip backwards through your time. You remember vividly, you’re in— you’re kind of, are embodied in various moments of your life. You remember cutting Brandish and just not pushing hard enough to take the head from his neck. You remember the first raft that you traveled on as a bodyguard. You remember being gifted the sword. It was lifted from a pile of trinkets and blades that meant nothing to the people who gave it to you. You remember hearing the clanking of miners, digging out the metal that’s made Ordenna so, so ah, rich. You... remember your parents. You remember your friends from childhood. You remember the first time that you swung a sword. And then, you are in a space of, of bright white. The walls are, are gleaming here. It is the sort of white that communicates not peace, but dominance. [pauses] You see a man sitting in a throne. The throne, the throne is the center of this room. It is built into the ground in such a way that the ground itself rotates, and the throne rotates to face you. It’s a marble throne. And in it sits a man with grayed hair and a well-groomed beard. His eyes are a sharp blue. And he wears black and red. [pauses] They’re kingly clothes, but they’re also practical. He isn’t extravagant, but he knows that his place is to exact power. And his voice booms.

        AUSTIN (as the man in the throne, Tristero): Hella. Approach.

ALI: Which I do.

AUSTIN: Which you do. Okay.

        AUSTIN (as Tristero): You’ve picked an odd time to die. Are you.. ready to move on?

ALI (as Hella): No.

KEITH, whispering: Say yes.

        AUSTIN (as Tristero): Hm. I thought not. There are others though, who should be by my side—

KEITH, responding to audio issues: Austin, you are breaking up at the worst time!

ALI, laughing: Oh no!

AUSTIN: I’ll wait.

KEITH: Yeah, I think you’re good.

AUSTIN: A few seconds? Am I good? Okay.

        AUSTIN (as Tristero): There are others though—

AUSTIN: Did you get the bit about where he says it’s not your time, basically?

[[20 MIN MARKER]]

ALI: Yeah. And then I said— Yeah.

KEITH: Yes.

AUSTIN: Okay.

        AUSTIN (as Tristero): There are others though, for whom it is time to return to my side. I will let you live, I will give you back your life, and you will be my blade. You will return those to me who left me in life. You will begin with my son.

[pause, ALI wheezes]

AUSTIN: And he gives you a look.

[pause]

KEITH: Oh wait, hold on, is Death [crosstalk ALI, as if sobbing: No-o-o-o!] gonna get us to kill Calhoun?

[ALI wheezes, someone slow claps, JACK gasps]

KEITH: I’ll kill Hella if she tries to kill Calhoun.

JACK: Thank you for listening to Friends at the Table.

[AUSTIN chuckles]

ALI: NooOO-o-o!

ALI (as Hella??): But I like your son, and I like so few people.

[JACK and ALI laugh]

ALI: Hnnh.

        AUSTIN (as Tristero): Not many people could do this for me, Hella. But you have just the tool for the job.

ALI: Oh, man.

KEITH, quietly: What tool is it?

[pause, ALI and KEITH laugh]

ALI: Um. Hmm.

AUSTIN: Jack is holding his face in his hands.

KEITH: Yeah. Jack is hiding.

ALI: Oh my god.

AUSTIN: Fero! Hella is dead. By the way. What do you do? While Hella’s— We’ll cut back, at this point. I think, I think Brandish just— What was this? Was this a counterattack situation? Or was this a— Yeah yeah yeah. So. Hella stabs her blade into Brandish’s gut, and he whispers to her,

        AUSTIN (as Brandish): I’ve got you now.

AUSTIN: And, knife across the throat. In the same place where his, where his neck has been cut.

KEITH: Uh huh. Uh huh.

AUSTIN: And steps away from her. She falls to the ground. Knees hit the floor. [claps once] Body goes, you know, face down. And he turns to you. Covers his neck and spits blood out, so that the blood will come up through his mouth.

KEITH: Okay, so [crosstalk AUSTIN: You’re an eagle. You’re still an eagle.] here’s what I’m gonna do. I am an eagle. [crosstalk AUSTIN: Yeah. And he points his sword at you.] It is my turn. [AUSTIN: Yes.] I’m going to get out of range of him.

[AUSTIN laughs]

KEITH: Here’s why. I do not have much health left.

AUSTIN: Right.

KEITH: This is what I’m going to do. I am going to use 4 of my 5 Hold. I mean Balance.

AUSTIN: Okay. Er, Balance? On yourself.

KEITH: Yes. On myself.

AUSTIN, as if shrugging: Okaay.

KEITH: I’m going to get to a place where he can’t get to me—

AUSTIN: I see, I see. 4 of your 5. Got ya. Yeah yeah yeah. Uh, give mee— [pauses] Huh, man.

KEITH: I’m an eagle.

AUSTIN: You’re an eagle. You’re an eagle. Just get outta here.

KEITH: He threw— He just threw me far away from him anyway. Yeah.

AUSTIN: Yes. Yes. Yes.

KEITH: So I’m going to roll 4d4.

AUSTIN: This gets you outside.

KEITH: Look at those little pyramids!

AUSTIN: Look at all those little pyramids.

KEITH: Heal for— I am at full health!

AUSTIN: Shame you didn’t heal somebody else. Um—

KEITH: Yeah, wuh, I thought of it. Shame a lot of people didn’t help a lot of people! Austin!

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: Okay. Hey! Lem. An eagle just flies past you.

JACK: Mhm. Can I see H— [crosstalk AUSTIN: Ted—Yeah, go ahead. What are you gonna?]  Can I see Hella’s body from where I am?

AUSTIN: Yeah, I think you, you see the eagle fly past you and you’re able to like, turn and look. And you see Brandish turn from the body of Hella’s— from Hella’s corpse. And he begins walking towards you.

JACK: Where’s, where’s my— weapon?

AUSTIN: Er, I need to refresh. One second. It’s across— It’s near the cab— Ah, I guess you could’ve picked it up. I imagined it going to the right side of this room earlier. So it— I think you probably could have picked it back up when you were hiding behind the couch, when that bomb went off.

JACK: Okay, cool. I don’t have to fight him with a violin bow or something.

AUSTIN: I mean, you could do that.

JACK: What stats does a violin bow have?

AUSTIN: I mean you just roll your class’s damage, y’know. Ah. [AUSTIN wheezes] No, I think it would probably be bad. I think it would be bad. And he is marching towards you.

JACK: Okay.

        AUSTIN (as Brandish): Ted! Emmanuel. Take the boy—

AUSTIN: I guess you’re not a boy. You’re an orc. Uh.

        AUSTIN (as Brandish): Grab the orc—

KEITH, imitating Brandish: Take the orc boy!

[[25 MIN MARKER]]

JACK: I once— I once was a little orc boy.

AUSTIN: You were once a little orc boy. [crosstalk KEITH: Tiny little horns!] But you’re a big, you’re a big boy now. You’re a big orc boy.

KEITH: Now you’re a big boy.

AUSTIN: You’re part of the big boy gang.

        AUSTIN (as Brandish): Get the orc, and let’s go.

AUSTIN: His voice is dominating in a way that is uh, hard for them to resist. And there’s a bit of an out here. For Emmanuel, right.

JACK: Hm! Yeah.

AUSTIN: In that he isn’t being killed. Y’know? [JACK and AUSTIN laugh, JACK crosstalks something??] Brandish is cut up pretty bad. Yeah, so he wraps his arms around— The two of them, Ted and Emmanuel, wrap their arms under yours and begin—Hup!—moving you forward. Hella. What do you do?

ALI (as Hella): [sighs] Will your son join you here, or will he be a part of that town?

AUSTIN: Um. He says,

AUSTIN (as Tristero): My son gave rights away to live in that town when he abdicated. He will be here with me. And one day, he will be here instead of me. That is the way it is.

[pause, SOMEONE snickers]

KEITH: Hella, can you just choose to die so we don’t have to get rid of Calhoun?

ALI: See, the thing is is that I’m friends with Calhoun. But—

AUSTIN: But you’re also you.

ALI: —not so much that I don’t wanna live.

KEITH: Okay, so here’s the thing. Can’t— How— Can we take a little while— Like, Death’s got a long time, right?

AUSTIN, quietly: No.

KEITH: Like, he’s got a while— No?

AUSTIN: No.

KEITH: He’s like, this has gotta happen now. Also, Austin, you’re muted again.

AUSTIN: No, I’m not.

KEITH: Oh okay, you were just being quiet.

AUSTIN: I was just being quiet.

[pause]

JACK: So what you’ve done here, Austin, is you thought that all of Ali’s anxiety and— public-facing anxiety about the last Calhoun decision just wasn’t enough.

AUSTIN: Yeah! Mm hm!

JACK: So you just made another one!

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: This is a fairer— This is a much more fair one, though.

ALI, laughing: Yeah! Um—

AUSTIN: And a much more interesting one, I think.

ALI and KEITH: Yeah.

KEITH: This is, I mean—

AUSTIN: And listen, I don’t know— I mean, I— You wanna be the one—

KEITH: Lot of stuff could happen between now and when—

AUSTIN: Lot of stuff could happen! You could lie to Death. You could tell the truth to Death and change your mind later. You could, there’s a million things that could happen.

JACK: Oh my god, Austin—

ALI: Is that a possibility?

KEITH: You could try to follow through with it, and I won’t let you.

JACK: This is like finding a [joke bag??] and not—

AUSTIN: You don’t know! I don’t know what happens. We could—

[pause]

ALI: I mean, w—

AUSTIN: He’s asking for your word, is what he’s asking for.

JACK: It— Hard time— ??

AUSTIN: Ah, I mean— So here’s, here’s a thing. Wait wait wait, one second, I’m gonna read from the book again. One second, let me— Let’s see... Maybe it’s not in here. But. You know, you could absolutely say like, “Yeah sure!” and then be like, completely lying to him. And then, we’ll have to figure out what happens when you lie to Death. Y’know?

ALI: Right.

JACK: Yeah.

ALI: I feel like he’d know that I was lying to him though, like—

AUSTIN: Maybe that’s okay. Like, maybe that’s part of the rule, you know. I think it’s— I’m not gonna make you roll to lie to Death. [ALI: Okay.] One, that’s not in this system. [ALI: Right] Two, it’s way more interesting— There’s two interesting outcomes here— There’s three interesting outcomes. One, you could say, “Hey, maybe Hella in her heart isn’t so evil after all,” or whatever. You could say, “Maybe Hella really does care for Calhoun; lets herself die.” Two, you could tell the truth to Death— You could say that you’re telling the truth to Death, and we figure out what happens from there. Three, you could tell me you’re lying to Death. That’s interesting. You successfully lie to Death, and we move forward and figure out what happens from there.

ALI: Okay. [pauses] Well then I say… I don’t— I don’t know if she’d lie. But I would say, that,

ALI (as Hella): Your son is important to me. But if that’s what this takes, then I’ll do it.

AUSTIN (as Tristero): He’s important to me, too.

AUSTIN: And— [pauses] Hm. How is this gonna work. The— That’s the last you see of him. You move back, forward through your life, seeing those events again. Happening again and again. And this time, you see a bunch of times in which you probably should’ve died, and didn’t. [pauses] Like, a bunch of times where like, Oh! That would’ve just cut your head off, and you just missed it. And it’s like, emphasizing that you’ve been on death’s door many times before. And, for whatever reason, he’s let you forward, many other times. And it makes you wonder for just the briefest moment, if this is the first promise you’ve made Death. [pauses] Or if, maybe, your life has been a string of these promises that you just can’t remember. [pauses] And you’re back alive. The thing is, remember, you’re still unconscious. You— [pauses] Lem? You’re being dragged out, you’re kind of put in— You’re tied up. You’re roped— Your hands are roped behind you. Brandish lifts Hella from the ground and puts her over his shoulder, and begins heading out. He looks at Ted and says— or he looks at Emmanuel and he says, “Emmanuel, you st—

        AUSTIN (as Brandish): Emmanuel, you stay here. When Ginny returns, send her to me.

AUSTIN: And Emmanuel sighs and steps back, away from you, Lem. And that means that Ted, carrying— er, pushing Lem forward, and Brandish with Hella on his shoulder, they leave. Fero, you’re an eagle.

[[31 MIN MARKER]]

KEITH: Yes, I am an eagle. I do have one quick question?

AUSTIN: Sure.

KEITH: I missed the part where why is Jack on someone’s shoulder.

AUSTIN: Jack is just being led.

JACK: I’m ??

AUSTIN: He’s tied up. He’s tied up.

KEITH: So they’re all together, and I’m an eagle?

AUSTIN: Yeah.

KEITH: Okay. And they’re, they’re just getting taken.

AUSTIN: They’re back, and they’re just getting taken.

KEITH: I can fly— But I can get up to them, right?

AUSTIN: I mean they’re leaving this hotel. So like going down the stairs of this hotel...

KEITH: Okay. Well, how far could they have gotten before I have time to react?

AUSTIN: They’re at the end of this hallway. They’re at the end of this hallway at this point. They’ve lifted Hella’s almost dead body onto his shoulder; Jack is tied up.

KEITH: What’s the— What’s the vision??, who’s in front? Hella, or Jack. Who’s closest to me?

AUSTIN: Ted is closest to you. Ted the ghost man, who you can’t hurt, has Jack at sword point. And he’s tied up in front of him. Brandish has Hella over his shoulder; Brandish is the furthest away from you, heading towards like, the way down of this floor.

KEITH: [sighs with frustration] Okay. I am going to... instead of being an eagle, gonna be a hummingbird.

[JACK and ALI laugh]

AUSTIN: That’s fine.

KEITH:  Because— Well, so here’s the thing.

AUSTIN: Mm hm.

KEITH: Obvious step one: Get Jack out of his sitch.

AUSTIN: Right.

KEITH: But. Literally cannot do that.

AUSTIN: Right.

KEITH: Because of a clever thing that you have done.

AUSTIN: Which I set up hours ago.

KEITH: [exhales] Did you?

AUSTIN: Well having a ghost man here, sure.

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: I wanna be clear, you guys could’ve killed that ghost man. Just to be clear.

JACK: Oh, I ??

KEITH: ?? I’m just gonna fuckin attack him. I’ll attack the ghost man.

AUSTIN: No no no. You can’t kill that ghost man, but you guys—

KEITH: They could have? And I—

AUSTIN: You guys, as a group, could have killed that ghost man.

JACK: I was this close to Spouting Lore on what I knew about ghosts.

KEITH: Where’s Emmanuel? He’s helping? Emmanuel’s helping Jack?

AUSTIN: No, Emmanuel’s— Emmanuel’s not helping. Emmanuel is staying— Brandish just ordered him to stay behind, and to bring Ginny to Brandish when she came back.

KEITH: Okay. Alright.

AUSTIN: Sure.

JACK: Out of interest, can I— This is one of those weirdly specific bard questions—

AUSTIN: Yes.

JACK: Can I do pattern magic by whistling? Or do I need an instrument?

AUSTIN: You can— You can do it. By whistling.

JACK: Oh! Is it weakened? Or is it— ??

KEITH: Don’t even ask that question! Just assume that it’s not.

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: I don’t think it is. It’s not. It’s not. But I think that it’s—

JACK: I just like cool stories, so. [laughs]

AUSTIN: Yeah, you definitely could. Um, y’know. They know what you can do though. So it would be—

JACK: Oh, they just wouldn’t think I was just whistling.

AUSTIN: Yeah.

ALI: Yeah, no.

AUSTIN: They saw you play magic music earlier.

ALI: Right.

AUSTIN: They fought you before. Remember that time that you were like, playing the violin on the top of a boat, dueling with their musicians?

JACK: Uh huh. I was playing the drums.

AUSTIN: You were playing the drums. Sorry. You got— You were drummed out. Oh! Keith just vanished.

KEITH: I did that on purpose. My thing was a circle, so I assumed that I was frozen or something?

AUSTIN: Ah, you were good. Alright, so.

JACK: Umm. Then I think, in this case, I’ll probably hold off a little bit of whistling magic.

[SOMEONE snorts]

AUSTIN: Sure.

KEITH: Okay.

JACK: In case— I’m gonna save whistling magic in case they take my violin, and I have to do that.

AUSTIN: Right, right. Sure.

KEITH: Okay, so here’s what I’m gonna do—

AUSTIN: You’re a hummingbird. Are you— How does humming?

KEITH: No, no, no no. I haven’t done hummingbird yet.

AUSTIN: Okay.

KEITH: I’m going to try real quick and I’m gonna be— I’m gonna be m’ old halfling self.

AUSTIN: Okay.

KEITH: Right? And I’m gonna go, like—

AUSTIN: So you’re landing— Where are you— Where are you at, now?

KEITH: Just close to Emmanuel.

AUSTIN: Okay, so. I’m gonna move people around, really quick. Just so we have a really clear picture. Here’s Emmanuel. Here is Ted. Here is Jack. Whoops, whoops, whoops whoops whoops whoops whoops. Okay. Jack. Ted. Then how did I put Brandish? Where the hell did I put Brandish? [someone laughs] Oh wait that’s Brandish. That’s the problem. Okay. This is Ted. Is this boy. And then Hella and then Brandish— Brandish holding Hella. Here. Here. Okay. So, you are now gonna land near Emmanuel, you said?

[[35 MIN MARKER]]

KEITH: I’m gonna land near Emmanuel, I’m gonna be a— be a human person.

AUSTIN: Yep! There you go.

KEITH: And by human I mean halfling.

AUSTIN: Halfling, right. Yep. A half a person.

KEITH: Yeah. [laughs] And I’m just gonna— Just real quick— I’m gonna be like,

        KEITH (as Fero): Are you gonna help him? With me? Are we gonna do this?

AUSTIN: He shakes his head.

        AUSTIN (as Emmanuel): There is no need for any of this.

[pause, a fan makes noise in the background]

JACK: Crap. My computer.

AUSTIN: Is that your fan?

JACK: Yeah.

ALI: Emanuel is having the worst day.

crosstalk JACK: Keith, what do you want me to do? Gain up, or is it all good?

KEITH: Right now, what I want you to do is just ignore that you have that fan going.

AUSTIN: Okay.

KEITH: I can take care of it.

JACK: You’re an angel.

        AUSTIN (as Emmanuel): [sighs] I wish he would have— I wish you all would’ve just left this place.

        KEITH (as Fero): Look. I’m wicked sorry, do you wanna help though?

AUSTIN: He shakes his head.

        KEITH (as Fero): C’mon.

        AUSTIN (as Emmanuel): [hesitates] None of you can leave anyway.

KEITH: And so he’s just like kinda, just gonna hang out over there?

AUSTIN: He’s waiting to see—

JACK, jokingly: Yeah. Screw you, Emmanuel!

KEITH (as Fero): Here’s— Listen. Alright.Emmanuel, here’s the thing. You seem like— You seem like you two really hit it off. It seems like you’re very reluctant to even be here. We’re kinda, like, gonna leave, right? So. Either you’re gonna help me and we’re gonna do this, or you’re just gonna stay here and putt around. …Are you a putter?

        AUSTIN (as Emmanuel): I don't think you understand.

        KEITH (as Fero): Are you with me?

        AUSTIN (as Emmanuel): No one can leave this place any way.

        KEITH (as Fero): We can get out. No, trust me.

[ALI laughs]

KEITH: And then I give him a wink.

AUSTIN: He shakes his head.

JACK: Are you giving him the “trust— Do you give him the “trust me, we’re the protagonists” wink?

[ALI laughs]

KEITH, laughing: Basically, yeah! I give him the “trust me, we’re protagonists” wink. Okay, so—

        AUSTIN (as Emmanuel): I’ve already made my life… bad. By the action I took today.

        KEITH (as Fero): Well this is what I’m saying, it’s already bad, you can come along with me. It’s gonna be— Listen. How much worse can it get for you?

AUSTIN: You’re not winning this man over. You can tell.

KEITH: Alright, so. I’m gonna turn into a hummingbird, I’m gonna follow the other group.

JACK, laughing: So, Fero’s just like, “Okay, so I’m gonna kill him.”

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: They— At a certain—

KEITH: LIsten Jack, I tried for you.

AUSTIN: You did. Downstairs, you see a bunch more guards. Something like 10 more guards, waiting for Brandish and the others to return.

JACK: Like a Blues Brothers amount of guards.

[AUSTIN chuckles, KEITH laughs explosively]

AUSTIN: Brandish— Or, or, I’m sorry, Ted whispers something to one of the other guards, who shakes his head. Lem, a bag is placed over your head. A black bag. And you and Hella are led through the streets.

KEITH, laughing: Can I, as a hummingbird—

AUSTIN: Mm hm.

KEITH: Kind of, crawl up into that bag?

AUSTIN: No.

KEITH: Up into— And just like kinda do like a—

AUSTIN: You absolutely cannot.

JACK: Meanwhile— Meanwhile, Fero— oh. Meanwhile, Lem— I just did it!— Meanwhile, Lem is just like this: [mimes something]

[ALI and KEITH laugh]

AUSTIN: Yeah, exactly!

KEITH: I would be— I would be subtle about it.

ALI: Nnm, that’s not how birds work.

JACK: For the podcast—

KEITH: That’s how— It’s a teeny little bird, it’s this little bird!

ALI: No, hummingbirds are like—

JACK: For the podcast listener—

KEITH: Hummingbirds are— Baby bird— He’s a little baby— He’s a—

AUSTIN: He has a— He has a bag tied to his head. It’s not. No.

JACK: For the pod—

ALI: Have you ever seen a hummingbird?

AUSTIN: Yeah. I don’t think he has.

KEITH: Yes, they’re VERY small—

ALI: They’re not that small.

KEITH: They can crawl up into a headbag!

JACK: I think he’s thinking of a Snitch.

ALI, laughing: He is thinking of a Snitch.

AUSTIN: You’re—

KEITH: No, it’s— I’m talking about a hummingbird! It’s a little golden—

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: There it is.

KEITH: It’s a little golden ball, and when you catch it, you win!

AUSTIN: Right.

KEITH: That’s what a hummingbird is. They love nectar!

ALI: No, you get a bunch of points—

KEITH: They love nectar, and when you catch it, you win.

ALI: You win most of the time, but really all you get is a bunch of points.

KEITH: And they hate Quaffles!

ALI: Oh boy.

AUSTIN: Hmmm.

[KEITH laughs]

AUSTIN: Oh brother.

KEITH: Okay. So. I’m just gonna follow then, if I can’t climb up into his headbag.

AUSTIN: Yeah, you can follow quite easily. So that’s good.

KEITH: Yeah. I’m gonna follow— Is Hella going to the same place?

ALI: I’m— I’m dead.

AUSTIN: Yeah, they’re being taken.

KEITH: Okay. Then I guess I accidentally also follow Hella.

ALI, wheezing: What?

AUSTIN: They can tell that you’re alive again, Ali. To be clear.

ALI: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Like, you’re breathing. You’re a breathing person at this point.

KETH: Oh, okay.

ALI: Okay. But I’m unconscious, right? Okay.

AUSTIN: Right. Um, they take you to— to the Sable Spire. And lead you up, I think just like to the second or third floor, and lock you in. [pauses] Okay.

KEITH: Aww. This is flash forward to the future: A little, tiny, hummingbird Fero, carrying a big ol’ key.

[EVERYONE chuckles]

KEITH, imagining the future hummingbird: UUOOOGH, can they do it?

AUSTIN: This is— This is gonna happen really quick, because of how late it is. They put you in the space for—

[[40 MIN MARKER]]

KEITH: Hold on, you’re breaking up. I can’t hear what you’re saying.

AUSTIN: Okay. Am I better? Can you hear me?

KEITH: You’re kinda better. You’re still frozen though, but I can hear you.

ALI: Okay. Now you’re good.

KEITH: Oh, there you are.

AUSTIN: Okay. So, they bring you to— Jack and— er, Lem and Hella, they take you to the second floor of the Sable Spire and put you into a very posh holding cell.

ALI, touched: Aww.

KEITH, suspicious: Hmmm. Could be shady. ??

AUSTIN: It is well decorated. It is— There’s a couple of nice beds. There’s food that they bring you. You’re taken care of. And, while we’re at that time, did you want to whistle something? Lem?

JACK: Yeah. Yeah.

AUSTIN: They do take your things from you, to— by the way. They do take your, your everything from you.

[KEITH quietly whistles the beginning of the Harry Potter theme]

JACK: I’m gonna whistle something that sounds like [pauses] probably the Wind Waker theme. If we’re bein honest.

AUSTIN: Sure. If we’re bein honest.

KEITH: How does that go? Can you do a quick whistle of that?

JACK: I don’t know how the Wind Waker theme goes, actually. [pauses] Plus, whistl—

KEITH, disappointed: Aw, this is an empty gesture.

[JACK laughs]

JACK: Whistling near a microphone is never a good idea.

AUSTIN: That’s also true.

JACK: Anyway—

KEITH: I did. It seemed to work. Did it not work?

JACK: It sounded a bit like somebody just—

[SOMEONE whistles a few notes]

AUSTIN: It’s not— Hm.

JACK: Pai— Painful, y’know? Painful.

ALI: It’s fine.

AUSTIN: So. Go ahead make your— What’s your whistle?

JACK: Not my whistling. My whistling is the opposite of painful. It’s healing whis— It’s healing whistling. Y’know. Healing whistling. Like the sort of whistling that you hear all the time. [pauses] Aaand it is directed at Hella.

AUSTIN: Okay.

JACK: So, the way that works is, it is a—

AUSTIN: CHA roll.

JACK: Uhhhhm. Hold on, just one second. I’m just double-checking.

AUSTIN: It is. It’s roll plus CHA.

JACK: Alright. Yeah. And then I heal 1d4, presumably.

KEITH: Ooh, I like the Wind Waker theme.

AUSTIN: ?? — 1d8.

JACK: 1d8.

AUSTIN: Yeah.

JACK: Cool. Okay. [rolling] Um... Plus CHA…

KEITH: It sounds sort of Hobbity. It sounds like something you might hear on the show.

JACK: 9.

AUSTIN: Okay. [pauses]

KEITH, quietly: This is good. This is a jam.

AUSTIN: Alright. Give me your heal roll.

JACK: Okay. [pauses]  What do I type?

AUSTIN: It’s slash ro—

JACK, pressing keys: 1. D. 8.

AUSTIN: Yeah— Nope! Slash roll 1d8. Slash roll space 1d8.

[pause]

JACK, disappointed with the result: Oh. Well—

AUSTIN: Okay. Hey, listen— Hella—

ALI: I had a 4 when I stabbed a guy, so that’s—

AUSTIN: Right, right.

JACK: Yeah.

AUSTIN: So, she’s back up. Hella— Life is breathed back into Hella. The—  The— The wound that she had had already been kind of magically stitched back up. But, now, life kind of really comes back into her face. Like, she was still on death’s door until— until your little whistle brings her back. I think maybe there’s— Is there even like a little bit of a like, experimental nature of this? Where like, you’re not sure if the whistle will do this? But it does.

JACK: Yeah. Yeah. I don’t think— Well ‘cause it’s like, if I’ve risked life and limb stealing a really expensive violin from a— a museum archive, why would I be whistling?

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: Right, right. Yeah. So—

ALI: I im—

AUSTIN: Hella?

ALI: I imagine this like that scene in Cowboy Bebop. Where like, she’s hearing a song from her childhood and then wakes up, and hears this whistling instead—

AUSTIN: Mhm. Mhm.

ALI: And is like, relieved, but kind of grumpy about it. [laughs]

AUSTIN: Totally. You’re whistling in the wrong key. Y’know.

[ALI laughs again]

AUSTIN: So, the two of you only have moments when— You, uh— Your whistling bounces through the halls, and a guard hears it and starts coming to you.

SOMEONE: Huh?

AUSTIN: And he like, looks in, and he checks on you—

KEITH: I’m with them, right?

AUSTIN:You’re like— I think that you’re— I mean. Yeah! Yeah, fuck it.

KEITH: You think they don’t know that I’m there yet?

AUSTIN: I don’t— Hmm.

ALI: Maybe— Is there a window? Is he perched, like, on the window?

AUSTIN: Yeah yeah yeah. There’s—

KEITH: ‘Cause I feel like— I feel like, at the earliest opportunity I would have kind of, like, tapped on Lem’s shoe with my little beak. That I have.

AUSTIN: Yeah, sure. I just wanted to get us through this section, because this section isn’t—

JACK: Again, Keith doesn’t know what a hummingbird is.

AUSTIN: Nuh, he doesn’t.

KEITH: You— Wait, are you trying to tell me that hummingbirds don’t have beaks? They have super long, tiny little ones.

AUSTIN: So—

JACK: You couldn’t tap on a—

AUSTIN: Don’t wor— Don’t worry about it.

KEITH: Of course they can.

AUSTIN: Don’t worry about it.

KEITH: Hold on. I want to get to the bottom of this. Why don’t you think a hummingbird could tap with its beak?

AUSTIN: No, we don’t have time. Keith, we don’t have time.

KEITH: Okay.

AUSTIN: It’s— It’s— It’s like 2 am where Jack is right now.

KEITH: That’s probably fair.

AUSTIN: So. I just wanted to get to a decent— It might be 3 am where Jack is right now. [pauses] It’s 2. Okay. So. [pauses] At the sound of the whistle— It draws attention of the guards, who show up at your door. They’re well-armed. And armored. And they say,

        AUSTIN (as a guard): Are you both up?

AUSTIN: [pauses] You nod. Lem is nodding. He says,

        AUSTIN (as guard): Alright. [sighs] I’ll be right back. I’ll go get the captain.

KEITH, whispering: Cappy. ??

AUSTIN: And about 15 minutes later, Ted shows back up. He didn’t mean the captain; he meant like, the captain of the guard. Like, like, a guard captain.

KEITH: Oh. Right.

[JACK phews, KEITH laughs]

AUSTIN: And Ted shows back up. Ghost Ted. And he says,

        AUSTIN (as Ted): Alright. Um.

AUSTIN: And he goes in, and he asks you guys to turn around. There’s some other guards with him. And, begins to tie you all up again. Obviously, you could totally turn this into another fight, if you want to. This is a shitty place for a fight. Just so you know. Also you don’t have any weapons. Also you’re all really hurt, except for— [laughs] except for Fero. And—

KEITH: I have full health.

[[46 MIN MARKER]]

AUSTIN: Right. Fero’s great. [pauses] And they lead— unless you resist, are leading you back into the streets. And towards the palace.

JACK: I don’t really have any objections.

ALI: Yeah, I think I’m sort of, too out of sorts to— to do anything. [laughs]

AUSTIN: Yeah, that’s fair. That’s totally fair. Fero, are you like, flying around behind them basically?

KEITH: I’m gonna, I’m gonna still follow them. Yeah. Is there something around Jack that I could’ve crawled up into?

AUSTIN: No, there’s nothing you could crawl into near Jack.

[KEITH laughs]

AUSTIN: They don’t bag his face, this time.

KEITH: Eh, like a pocket? I dunno.

AUSTIN: There’s no benefit!

[KEITH cackles]

JACK: Lem just taking an inward breath and just— [sucking sound]

AUSTIN: Yeah! Just, in your— you’re in his mouth. Okay. [pauses] They lead you to the palace, which is a— It’s up, above the rest of the town. It is raised up a— y’know a few stories above the rest of Nacre. And there are kind of 3 wide staircases that lead up to it, from different angles. The whole place is, is, y’know, like the other towers, made of marble and ivory. Al— Like, alabaster. All the brightest, shiniest, whitest materials. And as you get closer and closer, that is complemented with, kind of embellishments and inlays of gold and, and red. Red banners with very delicate inlays. There are a few courtesans— er, not courtesans, courtiers— hanging out in the kind of palace district. Many of them wear masks, and you’re curious what that's about. They lead you, all of you—

KEITH: Masks are never good.

AUSTIN: To a big, central room. In the middle is a large rectangle of marble that seems to sprout from the floor. And the section from underneath it, it rotates around. Hella, this is super familiar to you.

JACK: Huh. Huh.

AUSTIN: The— Architecturally, this throne dominates the space. It’s a big, open throne room, and the throne is in the center, and not the back. It seems to be able to like, rotate to face any direction in the room, which, y’know, isn’t normally what you do with a throne. A throne should have its back up against the wall, right? Where it’s safe. But here, it’s at the center. And it dominates the room architecturally; it’s like a keystone that kind of holds the whole room together. And I say that it dominates the room architecturally, because the room’s atmosphere is dominated by the woman who is sitting in the throne. Next to her is a— I’m going to describe her in a second as she kind of stands and you get a full view of her. But next to her is a tall, thin, ghost man, who is much less saturated in color than the rest of the people. Everyone else has either kind of a bright white or bright blue coloring to them; his is almost a faded gray. He’s, he’s, y’know, more o— less opaque? Less opaque than the other ghosts. And has just like, very little color to him. He has a— what you imagine is a gray beard, a carefully managed pouf of hair lifting up and back from his head, and a circlet— a kind of very fancy circlet, with a glowing red gem in— on his forehead. And his clothing reminds you a bit of Fantasmo’s, these kind of, like, stately robes, but they’re much cleaner than Fantasmo’s. They look refreshed and like, taken care of, versus like— There’s nothing about him—

KEITH: Tazzy’s a dirty boy.

AUSTIN: Yeah. There’s nothing about him that’s like, like “ohh, remember the good old days.” Like, he’s still in his good old days—

JACK: These are actual robes, right?

AUSTIN: He’s just kind of old, right?

KEITH: Right.

AUSTIN: The woman— He announces her. He says,

        AUSTIN (as the man, Ventaro Doce): May I present: Adelaide Tristé, The Queen of Death, Empress of Pearls, The Reluctant Savior of the Longest Light, Blessed by the Far Sea.

[[50 MIN MARKER]]

AUSTIN: And the kind of courtiers in the room kind of like all turn to her. This is a big space— This is, like, a football field big. And so they’re like all over the place. But everybody like, hushes up and turns to face her. And some people kneel. Not everybody, but some people kneel. Some people y’know, quietly salute or make a bow. It's kind of a range of, kind of affected respect being played— er, paid to her. Even when she’s still seated, when she first— when the throne first turns around, you can tell that she’s this tall woman, and when she stands up that becomes even more clear. She has glowing brown skin, which really contrasts with the pale and fleeting colors of the rest of the city. Her features are round, and she draws you in with her gaze. Whether it’s a sort of trust or a respect or an allure, there is something compelling about her. And her dress is perhaps the only thing like it that you’ve ever seen. It has the color and the motion of the sea. It moves. Its color adjusts according to the light. It seems to live. Her hair is a kind of braided updo that forms kind of a crown around her head. And there is no actual crown there. But behind her —you can’t tell from this position if it’s part of the throne or part of her— her back— like her outfit— But there is a, a sort of metallic halo that comes up, around her. With like a semicircle, and then another semicircle, and then like sharp, sun-like rays, pointing out in different directions. Like spears. And— At first it’s in her lap, but as she stands she puts it next to her, is Hella’s blade. [pauses] She’s very, very beautiful. And the way she holds her beauty, it’s— It’s like it’s her duty to be beautiful. Like she isn’t vain; she’s not a vain person, but she definitely lives in a world and in a space where... vanity maintains history that would otherwise be lost to the world. [pauses]

 AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): Welcome to my court. Come closer.

AUSTIN: And she like, waves you forward. And at a certain point, even though she’s waved you forward, her advisor, like, dude is like: [mimes something]. Like stops you guys from getting too close.

JACK: Hah.

AUSTIN: Gimme one second to figure out how to… Nope, that’s not doing it… How the hell do I pop out this video again? I would really like to pop it out, so I can always see it. And there’s no way to do that.

KEITH: What are you poppin out?

AUSTIN: The like, Skype video. Y’know how sometimes Skype does a little side video? Like—

KEITH: OH, and you closed it, and there’s no way to get it back?

AUSTIN, sad: I closed it, and there’s no way to get it back.

KEITH: No, you’re just done.

AUSTIN: I’m just donezo.

KEITH: You’re done, buddy.

AUSTIN: Okay. Well, whatever. Move this over here. Alright. [pauses] As you get closer you can see more of her fa— the features of her face. She is, you guess, in her 30s. But it’s hard to tell. [pauses] There is something— Y’know that look? ... You know Obama? [SOMEONE chuckles] The President? Of America?

KEITH: Yeah. No, I know that guy.

AUSTIN: Uh, Barack. Barack Obama. Barry. He— She has that sort of like, the ability to be both smiling, but also like, kind of dominant that he does?

[SOMEONE chuckles]

KEITH: Yeah.

AUSTIN: She has just like, the lightest smirk on her face, as you approach. [pauses]

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): Welcome. Tell us, Ordenna, do your people still burn fires on the shores in celebration of a good expedition?

AUSTIN: And she’s addressing Hella, who she has called Ordenna.

        ALI (as Hella): Uh, yes.

KEITH, referring to Adelaide: That’s kind of condescending.

[SOMEONE laughs]

AUSTIN: Yeah. Well.

AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): I spent some time there, as a girl. A beautiful land. One of the few grand things that the troubled times brought to Hieron.

AUSTIN: She holds the blade close to her and then calls her advisor over, who she whispers something to.

[SOMEONE makes whispering sound effects]

AUSTIN: She looks up in the air, as if looking for something. And she says,

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): Small one, what do you think of our fauna here? Come, don’t—

[KEITH gives an affected cough]

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): Don’t be afraid.

KEITH, thinking: Uhhh.

AUSTIN: You’re still a hummingbird, right?

KEITH: I’m gonna— still a hummingbird. Can I say, can I answer that it’s really nice, but as a hummingbird?

AUSTIN: You can’t talk; you’re a hummingbird.

KEITH: I don’t know, maybe she— She’s the fuckin queen of diamonds—

[ALI laughs]

JACK: Close.

KEITH: Maybe she can ans— hear hummingbirds.

[ALI and AUSTIN laugh]

AUSTIN: You.. tweet some things, and [laughs] she smiles and says,

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): That ability is not among my many.

KEITH, laughing: Okay. Then I—

AUSTIN: Er, sorry. She says,

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): That ability is not among our many.

KEITH: Our many. Okay. So, I guess I’ll be a— I guess I’ll be a person real quick.

AUSTIN: Mhm.

[[55 MIN MARKER]]

JACK: But a tall one.

ALI: Real quick. Yeah.

KEITH: A taller one; I’m gonna transform into a tall boy.

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: Uh huh.

ALI: Can you do that? No.

AUSTIN: I— I don’t think so.

KEITH: No. Not yet.

AUSTIN: Not until he studies people? I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it.

KEITH: No, no, no. There’s an— There’s a— There’s an ability later on, an advanced ability where I can transform into people. It is a-very neat. Here’s what I will do. I will be just the normal old Fero, and—

JACK: The small one.

KEITH: And— [laughs] And then compliment her awesome trees.

AUSTIN: She asked about your fauna, not your flora. Thank you.

KEITH: Oh, did you— I thought you said flora.

AUSTIN: No. Sorry, if I did, that was on— my fault.

KEITH: Because it wouldn’t make sense— Oh, okay.

AUSTIN: But she asked about— what you thought about, about their fauna.

KEITH: Have I noticed their fauna?

AUSTIN: Well you had that weird moment— You did have that weird moment with them, where it was like, “ah, they’re alive and dead at the same time, this is weird?” But no, you haven’t, like, spent any time communing with them.

JACK, whispering: Just lie.

KEITH: Oh! She’s, wait— She’s calling her— those peop— those people fauna?

AUSTIN: No no no no no! Like, the animals. The animals. She’s talking about the animals. You had that moment when you first flew near the town; you felt that.

KEITH: Oh, oh oh oh. Right.

AUSTIN: And that was weird.

KEITH: Right. I do remember that. Then I tell her that is was super weird, but also interesting.

AUSTIN: She laughs.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): Ventaro, take this one to the zoo in the morning. I think he’ll enjoy it.

KEITH (as Fero): Ah wait, hold on. Don’t take me to the zoo.

AUSTIN: And he nods— She says,

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): No, no. Just to visit. We have many—

KEITH: Oh, okay. [laughs]

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): Many old species here that we— I think you would enjoy.

        KEITH (as Fero): I thought you were gonna put me in the zoo. Sorry, queenie. Thought you were gonna put me in a zoo.

[ALI and AUSTIN laugh]

AUSTIN: A cour— Some— A courtier somewhere like,

        AUSTIN (as some courtier): [gasps dramatically]

AUSTIN: Like, drops his glass.

[ALI laughs]

        AUSTIN (as some courtier, extremely offended): Well I never!

AUSTIN: And she just laughs, a bit. She chuckles.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): Archivist.

AUSTIN: She looks to Lem.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): A gift, to welcome you to your new home.

AUSTIN: She nods to Ventaro, her— her advisor guy, who picks up a small wooden box from near the throne and brings it to you. You see that it has a strange lock mechanism on it, and— with like a little keyhole, and like, all sorts of little clasps and stuff. And it’s locked tight— like you take it and you can feel that it's compressed, closed, shut. And as he— As you like take it, he then reaches back around his neck and lifts a ghostly keychain— er, like a ghostly chain that has a key at the bottom off of his neck.

JACK: How is it ghostly?

AUSTIN: It’s the same as— looks like him. Do you know what I mean? It looks like, see-through. Like a ghost.

JACK: Right. Yeah. It’s a ghost chain.

AUSTIN: Right. Not a ghost of—

KEITH: Are there ghost shops where they sell ghost stuff?

AUSTIN: I don’t know.

KEITH: Why don’t the ghosts want to wear real stuff?

AUSTIN: They can’t. Or they can! Because here’s the thing. When he puts the chain in— in Lem’s hand, it gains color again. And materiality.

[KEITH and ALI ooh]

AUSTIN: It’s a little gold key, but it has like a hefty weight to it for something so small. Ventaro nods to you and walks back to Adelaide’s side. She says,

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): He may seem solemn, but our chief librarian here is very much looking forward to working with you. As a first project, I’d like the two of you— As a first project, we’d like the two of you to look into the history of this blade.

AUSTIN: And holds up Hella’s sword.

ALI: What? No!

        JACK (as Lem): Thank—

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): Ordenna, we will of course return it to you when we are done. We know how you are about your weapons and your war, but we hope you will find peace here, among us. [pauses] Little bird!

KEITH: She hates peace.

        KEITH (as Fero) Yeah?

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): We know that you, too, are hard to keep caged. But you will be rewarded for your loyalty. And we do hope to let you spread your wings for us a bit.

        KEITH (as Fero): I also do big birds.

[ALI laughs]

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): So I’ve heard. The poor Captain Brandish is still tending to those wounds you’ve given him. Twice now! Twice now.

        KEITH (as Fero, whispering): He’s kind of a dick.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): He’s very useful.

JACK: Man drops his glasses again.

[ALI and KEITH laugh]

AUSTIN: Yeah.

        AUSTIN (as some courtier): HWUAHH!

AUSTIN: Smash, break.

KEITH, laughing: He keeps— farther and farther each time!

[laughter continues]

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): And he’s very loyal. He’s died for us, multiple times now. You see, friends, we need eyes in the world again. When my brother— Our brother—

AUSTIN: She corrects herself.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): killed our father, it was because the two had very different visions for the empire. And for Hieron. Archivist, You’ve met— You’ve read many histories, yes?

        JACK (as Lem): Yep.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): What is a kingdom?

        JACK (as Lem): [pauses, inhales] Ohhh, it depends on who you’re askin.

[ALI laughs]

[[60 MIN MARKER]]

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): I’m asking you— We’re asking you.

AUSTIN: Most of the time she says “we”. I’ll let you know when she fucks up and says “I”.

[JACK laughs]

JACK (as Lem): It’s- It’s a collection of people and histories and cultures, ruled over by a king or a queen.

AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): What separates a good kingdom from a bad one?

JACK (as Lem): If they’re— If they’re— if the king or queen—

KEITH (as Fero??): Three hots and a cot?

JACK (as Lem): I’m— I’m sorry, Fero?

[ALI laughs]

        KEITH (as Fero): I said three hots and a cot.

        JACK (as Lem): Is it maybe— Is it—

JACK: And like Lem— Lem is desperately, like, trying to look for a right answer here, because—

AUSTIN: There is a genuine curiosity in her voice. This isn’t the teacher trying to pull out the right answer from you.

JACK: Right. But at the same time like, Lem’s not a— He’s a bard— He’s not a—

AUSTIN: Right. Yeah.

JACK: Y’know. He feels it would be— To him, it feels like presenting to Morbash, or something.

AUSTIN: Sure sure sure. Yeah.

JACK: So I guess it would be, he says,

        JACK (as Lem): When the king or the queen is acting against the interests of their people, or their culture.

AUSTIN: She nods.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): Sadly, that is what our brother did. He refused—

JACK: Wow. ??

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): —the throne. He refused to protect and support his people. He refused to become a beacon for a better world. He refused to acquire what we need for our many still-living inhabitants. [pauses] We wish— My father... Our father—

AUSTIN: She corrects herself.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): —wished to return the beautiful dead of Hieron to life. To return the world to the state that it was in before the troubled times. Our brother had no interest in that past. He could not dream of a world so vast, held under the reins of one man. So, when whispers of Velas’s… council, their democracy, fell on his ears, the fool was led astray. We wonder what he is thinking now. This throne cannot be his. But, perhaps... We do not want what our father wanted. We do not want the old days returned; it is a foolish dream to have, we admit. But we see Nacre as a way forward for Hieron. There is no death here. Death is a voluntary thing. And this is why I wish you to ask my brother—our brother— how deeply he really wishes to die. Because if he will not stay here, [pauses] then he must die for his sin. Would you speak to him, for us?

[Someone inhales]

AUSTIN: I think she’s mostly—

        KEITH (as Fero, rapidly): I'll do it! I’ll talk to him.

AUSTIN: Okay.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): I thought so, little bird.

        KEITH (as Fero): Heyyy, what’s up. [pauses] Uhhhh, quick thing. Quick thing. You said, y’know, y’all needed some eyes for the world, blah blah blah blah blah. But you also, y’know, also talked about how we can’t leave, et cetera. You’re saying—

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé??):  No one— No one leaves the kingdom of death once they’ve visited.

        KEITH (as Fero): Okay. But, you’re still gonna just let— You’re— You’re gonna let us, like, go out of the... city. [pauses] You said the thi— You said the eye thing.

AUSTIN: Right. Wait, what— What eye thing? Talkin about, like—

KEITH: You said, “we need eyes in the world”.

AUSTIN: Oh, yeah yeah. Okay.

KEITH: Right.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): The vision—

AUSTIN: She says— She smiles and says,

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): As Death’s eyes look over the world, the world becomes Death’s. With a kingdom large enough, there is no outside of it.

[pause]

        KEITH (as Fero): Uhh… We’ll talk to Cappy.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): Please use his name.

[pause]

        KEITH (as Fero): W— We’ll talk to Calhoun.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): [sighs]

AUSTIN: Her voice trembles, just a bit.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): Calhoun,

AUSTIN: She says,

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): Was a name he used to flee this place. To flee his people and his duty—

        KEITH (as Fero): Right, okay. Sorry. Prince, uh— Prince— Prince—

KEITH: And then I look at my friends.

AUSTIN: And then she’s gonna— She’s gonna— Yeah. [laughs] At this point, I think, she is— she is committed to finishing the whole long, ridiculous thing.

[[65 MIN MARKER]]

KEITH: Okay. Okay, sure! Go for it.

        AUSTIN (as Adelaide Tristé): His name, as his father gave it to him, is Angelo Tristé. He is Lord Tristan IX, The Ivory Crown, Our Brother, The Prince of Pearls, The Emir of Alabaster, The Reluctant, The Betrayer, The Coward, The Wretched, The Abdicator of Hope. And he will never be any more than that... But if he wishes to die, he will certainly be less. Go find out what he wishes. [pauses] I hope we can find a place for all of you here. You are talented and young. And beautiful. And I would hate to see beautiful things destroyed.

AUSTIN: She like, kind of like gestures, and her throne slowly turns back the other direction. For a brief moment, Hella, you saw her father’s face appear in front of hers, as she turns, with a lingering look on you.

KEITH: Okay. So. Dad wants Cappy dead.

AUSTIN: He does.

KEITH: Sister wants brother either there or dead.

AUSTIN: I think— I think— So, you’re going to be escorted as a group back to the place you were before—

KEITH: What it sounds like, she wants him to stay.

AUSTIN: She would like him to stay.

KEITH: Hold on, you’re breaking— You’re breaking up again.

AUSTIN: Okay.

JACK: I think you’re back now.

AUSTIN: Okay. She would like him to stay. And have some—

KEITH: Right. Yeah.

AUSTIN: Some reconciliation, right? Like, he’ll never be emperor at this point. She has taken that; that is hers. But.

KEITH: RIght. But.

AUSTIN: But he can still serve a big purpose for this vision of the future for this place. [pauses] I think you are taken back to the holding cell that you were in before. Maybe a better one, now there are definitely three of you? We’re gonna wrap up at this point, because it’s super late. [pauses] You’re taken back to the holding cell. And the kind of chief librarian slash advisor— regent advisor, Ventaro Doce, explains that in the next few days, the man you call Calhoun, Angelo Tristé, will be put on trial, if he does not come to his own decisions regarding his crimes. That trial will be fair, but it will be harsh. They don’t like permanent— They don’t like true death in this city. It is— It is a response held only for the most vile criminals. And is almo—

KEITH: Right. Like, someone that kills the emperor.

AUSTIN: Right. Like someone who kills the emperor, their father. [pauses] And he hopes— He hopes, Ventaro hopes that you can convince Angelo to stay. And, and become a symbol of reconciliation, and a symbol for the rest of the world about what Nacre can be. And he says—

JACK: Do they know that the rest of the world doesn’t know they exist?

AUSTIN: It’s unclear. [pauses] Hella, can you do me a huge favor?

ALI: Yeah.

AUSTIN: I just realized something. On the way back, give me a— give me a wisdom roll.

ALI: Oh. I’m not very good at that.

AUSTIN: That’s fine.

[JACK chuckles]

ALI: A 6!

AUSTIN: Okay. You see a face that you swear you recognize, but you cannot place it. [pauses] Ventaro smiles and says,

        AUSTIN (as Ventaro Doce): Please, don’t try anything foolish. You’re in a city of thousands, all of whom are... fatally loyal.

KEITH??: Oh god, that’s so obnoxious.

        AUSTIN (as Ventaro Doce): I would hate to see anything happen to you; you seem like good folks.

ALI: Do we?

[JACK and ALI laugh]

KEITH: Eh, a couple of us do.

AUSTIN: I think he even respects you, right? He’s been around. In fact, Lem, you notice— So, sorry. I should’ve painted the picture of this dude a little bit better. Like, given you a bit more detail on his robes. His robes are really nice. And they are— What you notice is that they have the same symbol on them. He has like a little lapel pin, I think, that is the same as the one Gregalos had on his ring. Remember the ring—

[[70 MIN MARKER]]

JACK: Ohh boy.

AUSTIN: —that Gregalos gave you to show people to get, like, free whatever? He’s wearing a similar pin.

JACK: Mhm. [inhales deeply]

KEITH: Oh, I’ve got that with me.

AUSTIN: His— Okay, yeah. Fero has it. It looks much older.

JACK: Right.

AUSTIN: His looks older than the one Gregalo gave you by... a lot of time.

KEITH: Yeah. ‘Cause I remember, you had said that ours looked old, but it wasn't— It didn’t look ancient.

AUSTIN: Right. Exactly. His looks ancient. His looks like— Like, yeah. [pauses] I think we’re gonna leave it here.

JACK: Before we go.

AUSTIN: Yeah, please.

JACK: Is there any chance— Is it at all worth my while opening the box that I got?

AUSTIN: Yeah. Absolutely!

JACK:’Cause it might be like a month before we record next.

AUSTIN: Good call. Yes. That night—

JACK: So, as we’re just hanging out—

AUSTIN: Mhm.

JACK: In this thing. [pauses]

AUSTIN: They give you— Er, you take the key and you put it into the box and you open it up. And in it are two pieces of parchment, a book of poetry, written by Tristero— that he wrote while visiting as—when he was still a deity. And the two pieces of parchment are maps. One of them is a map of the Empire of Nacre from before the fall. It reaches to Rosemerrow and up towards Velas; and you notice that Ordenna is not on that map.

JACK: Hm.

AUSTIN: The second is a sort of, map of the future. A map of the time forward. The plans of Nacre. What they wish to bring under their control in the near future. And you can see that the Kingdom of Nacre, hopefully, will expand to include much of what used to be under their control. Up, over to— I’ll pull you guys over to the actual map of Hieron. So, from the spot that you’re at—which is, again, where those two Xs are, near Ordenna—the new kingdom would stretch from— y’know, from here, down the entire coastline to re-envelop Rosemerrow and up, around Velas. Ordenna would not be touched.

JACK: So this sort of, like, northwestern peninsula.

AUSTIN: Would be all of that. Yeah. With The Erasure left alone. So like—

JACK: Cool.

AUSTIN: Yeah. Yeah. You understand what I’m saying, right? I don’t need to—

JACK: Yeah!

AUSTIN: Yeah. But over to like here, and then up to, y’know, here. That whole, like, little loop. That whole—Yeah, exactly.

ALI: Oh, but not going all the way south?

AUSTIN: Not past the forest. Like down to this mark, let’s say—

ALI: Okay.

AUSTIN: Through the forest and up, leaving this university. But basically this quadrant, y’know?

ALI: Right.

JACK: Mhm.

AUSTIN: Not touching the New Archives, not touching The University. The New University and the New Archives aren’t even on this map, right? Like, this is a map of just this quadrant, basically.

ALI: Okay.

AUSTIN: And Ordenna is not on this. Er, is not— Is not— Ordenna, as a body, isn’t on the first map. And it isn’t— The body is there on the second map, and it says Ordenna, question mark. But it doesn’t— It doesn’t— It’s not part of the Nacre.

KEITH, goofily: Is that what this is?

ALI: Question mark? [laughs] Hm. I don’t like that.

KEITH: So…

AUSTIN: So I think, let’s leave it here? And pick it up next week with the, the confrontation and maybe the trial, and whoever knows.

KEITH: We were supposed to go to a tower.

ALI: Yeah, have we all just forgotten about that book?

AUSTIN: Yeah. Yeah! Weird about that, huh? It’s weird. I’ll remind you of a thing I said before—

JACK: Gee, I wonder what’s happening with that.

AUSTIN: Yeah, I wonder. There’s lots of things in motion, currently.

KEITH: Well I know that you said that.

ALI: It’ll be fine.

AUSTIN: What are you—

KEITH: We could probably make it.

AUSTIN: Fero, do you stay in this room?

KEITH: Listen, the only thing we won’t have time for is to get back to Greggy.

AUSTIN: I can give you one more— I can give you one last thing.

KEITH: Cool. Okay.

AUSTIN: Fero, do you leave at any point?

KEITH: Leave the, the holding cell?

AUSTIN: Yeah. Or do you stay?

[pause]

KEITH: Hold on, you can’t— You’re breakin up.

AUSTIN: Do you stay or do you leave? [pauses] Am I still broken?

KEITH: Do I leave the holding cell?

AUSTIN: Yeah. Yeah. It has a window, y’know?

KEITH: Yeah, yeah... Yeah! Sure, yeah. Of course I leave. I’m a kestrel.

AUSTIN: Okay. You fly high above—

ALI: Are they cool with him leaving?

AUSTIN: I mean, no one's—

KEITH: If they— I mean, they know that I’m a bird.

AUSTIN: Right. They know that he’s a bird. There is a degree of this that’s like— There’s a degree of it that’s just like, “Well…”

ALI: “What is he gonna do anyway? Like, okay.”

AUSTIN: Right, right. Exactly. He’s not single-handedly gonna go save anybody. Y’know?

[[75 MIN MARKER]]

KEITH, whispering: I might though! What if I did that though?

JACK: What if Keith went and did the book quest in the south, all on his own?

[AUSTIN and ALI laugh]

AUSTIN: Have like a solo— solo adventure. [pauses] You’re flying out above the sea, kind of stretching your wings. You think it could be really easy to leave. And, as you pass through the fog that separates— separates Nacre from the rest of the strait, you see them on the horizon, to the west. A dozen warships, flying the Ordennan flag.

ALI: Ooh!

AUSTIN: Coming this way.

ALI: Ooowha— What? [laughs]

JACK, quietly: War!

KEITH, singing: Gonna be a weird old war~

AUSTIN: Boy is it! Let’s do end of game sesh stuff.

KEITH: Alright. [pauses] Eufgh.

AUSTIN: Uhh… Foof, yeah. I thought the other session was bad.

[JACK laughs]

AUSTIN: No. This is— This is— [pauses] [reads] “Did you learn something new and important about the world?”

JACK: Yes.

KEITH: Wait, hold on, was this—? Do you think this— Do you think we’re in a worse spot than they are?

AUSTIN: No, no, they’re— Well! You’re in a worse spot now than they are, but their session was way rougher.

KEITH: Okay.

AUSTIN: Does that make sense?

KEITH: Yeah.

JACK: I think— I think we learned something about the world.

AUSTIN: Yeah, so take 1 for that. [reads] “Did you overcome a notable monster or enemy?” No.

JACK: No.

ALI: I defeated Ginny.

AUSTIN: Yeah, but it’s a group question. You have to answer the question as a group. Did you—

JACK: I chopped that man’s head off.

AUSTIN: You did! You guys both did good things, but you didn’t overcome, as a group, a notable monster or enemy. Like.

ALI: Ehh.

AUSTIN: [reads] “Did you loot a memorable treasure?” I don’t think you looted a memorable treasure. You were given a thing, but—

JACK: No, not really.

AUSTIN: Alright. So then, that’s 1 from that, take the ones that you got for missing things. Hella, make sure you mark that one that you just got. The miss on... that wisdom.

ALI: Oh. Oh, the 6 that I just got?

AUSTIN: Yeah.

ALI: Okay. [pauses] I leveled!

AUSTIN: Good job. [reads] “Choose one of your bonds that you feel is resolved, completely explored, no longer relevant, or otherwise. Ask the player of the character you have the bond with if they agree. If they do, mark XP and write a new bond.”

KEITH: Hm. Here’s one. [clears throat, reads] “Hella can be relied upon in combat. She is a fierce fighter.”

[AUSTIN and JACK laugh]

ALI: That’s true. That’s a true thing.

AUSTIN: No. Nhmm.

KEITH: It starts off that “you can be relied upon in combat.” Hella cannot be relied upon in combat; she cares only about her own interests.

AUSTIN: Yup!

ALI: Sometimes! [laughs]

KEITH, typing: … relied upon …  in combat, and cares … only about her interests.

ALI: Damn. Sure.

AUSTIN: Hella and Lem?

KEITH: That says “cobat”. That’s not the right thing. Okay. [pauses] Nice Call of Duty chips.

[AUSTIN snorts]

AUSTIN, reading the chip bag in a gaming advertiser voice: Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare! Unlock exclusive ingame gear.

KEITH: You get exclu— You get some ‘sclusy gear off that hot chip bag?

AUSTIN: Hot ‘sclusies. Even in French— It has French on here. [crinkling sound]

[ALI laughs, JACk snorts]

JACK: You got some hot French ‘sclusies.

AUSTIN: How do you say ‘sclusy in French?

JACK, laughing: I don’t know. I don’t know.

KEITH: I also don't know.

JACK: I’m gonna look up what exclusive is in French.

[ALI laughs??]

ALI: I have a bond with Fero that is [reads] “Fero is more useful than I originally thought.”

AUSTIN: Ah huh?

ALI: Um, we were fighting together and I died? [laughs]

KEITH: You were reckless.

ALI: That’s true.

AUSTIN: You can change it. You can totally change it.

KEITH: And I fucked up what’s his name. Pirate man.

AUSTIN: Brandish?

ALI: Brandish.

KEITH: Brandish. Fucked that guy up; I did 12 damage in one move!

ALI: Well… You should’ve healed me.

KEITH: I didn’t have time. I had 8 health left.

[pause]

ALI: I think that’s still—

AUSTIN: Yeah you can totally— You can change it.

ALI: I think I’m gonna keep it.

AUSTIN: Oh, you are? Okay.

ALI: Yeah.

JACK: None of mine, I think. I think all of mine are still— still sound.

AUSTIN: Okay! Well, that was this week.

KEITH: Jack, you and I both have one from last week. Do either of us have a thing to fill in, also?

JACK: I don’t think so. Not at this stage.

AUSTIN: Okay. Let’s time dot is, then.  Let’s all head over there.

ALI: Oh boy.

AUSTIN: I’m gonna—

JACK: Oh wait.

AUSTIN: What’s up?

JACK: Can we— Can we, um— Can we level up after this session? Will we have enough time to rest and level up?

AUSTIN: Absolutely level up. You’re absolutely going to take a rest.

KEITH: It’s your current level plus 7, you said?

AUSTIN: Yes. Absolutely.

KEITH: Okay.

[pause]

AUSTIN: As always, people listening, thank you for doing that. For listening.

JACK: You did a good job.

AUSTIN: If— If you would really just do us a huge favor, and went onto iTunes, and found us there, and gave us a rating and a review, that would be the best. That would really help out. You can find us on iTunes, obviously search for “Friends at the Table”. As always, you can find new episodes at friendsatthetable.net. You can also find the video game live streams that we do at streamfriends.tv and at runbutton.net. We do different— To be clear, Keith does runbutton.net.

[[80 MIN MARKER]]

KEITH: I do Run Button. Everyone else does Stream Friends. I also do Stream Friends, but not officsh.

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: I just got a hot ‘sclusy tweet to read off here.

KEITH: I was just gonna tell you that tweet! I was gonna read that tweet.

AUSTIN: This is a tweet from a fan, @hutchuniversity, who says, [reads] “I am loving the” quote, “‘Keith will fix it in post’ bit from Friends at the Table. Reminds me of Home Movies.” We do our best. We also got—

KEITH: Out of sight!

AUSTIN: [laughs] All night. We also got a tweet earlier from the LSDJ, who just says, [reads] “boat party?” question mark?

[ALI laughs]

KEITH: Ah man, boat train wreck.

AUSTIN: Yeah.

JACK: Well if, if what the LSDJ is referring to is the Ordenna warfleet arriving… [laughs]

[ALI laughs]

KEITH: Oh yeah, that’s a boat party.

ALI: Yeah, that’s a boat party. What’s goin on there?

AUSTIN: Good question. You can find me, if you want to tweet things at me about this— about this game, @austin_walker on twitter. Also you can find me on twitch at TheCalcutec and, as I said before, on twitch at StreamFriends, one word. You can also read the things I write at clockworkworlds.com and, often, at pastemagazine.com/games. Keith, where can people find you?

KEITH: You can find me on twitter @somethingdumb. You can find the Let’s Plays that I do at the aforementioned runbutton.net, which is youtube.com/runbutton. That’s good enough.

AUSTIN: Jack?

JACK: You can find me on twitch and twitter @notquitereal.

AUSTIN: That’s it? No, no game studio?

JACK: Not today.

[KEITH laughs]

AUSTIN: Not today. I understand—

KEITH: Oh! Then I’ll take one of Jack’s. Jack. I— You can also— I’ve been streaming a little bit more. You can find me— the Run Button twitch channel at twitch.tv/runbutton.

AUSTIN: And Ali. Where can people find you?

ALI: You can find me @ali_west on twitter. And then I just wanted to make a quick note that if you are some sort of bizarro person who only listens to this podcast on iTunes somehow… Cool. Thank you. But you can also go to friendsatthetable.net ‘cause the website is way different now.

AUSTIN: It is!

ALI: And this is the first time we would’ve ever mentioned it. There’s like, character bios and stuff, if you wanted to read that.

AUSTIN: And maps. And—

ALI: You can listen to our theme song.

KEITH: I’m gonna buy it.

ALI: Awesome. ??

AUSTIN: Maybe by the time I— By the time this video goes up I’ll have— [OUTRO MUSIC BEGINS] er, this episode goes up, I’ll have added like a history of the world—

ALI: Yeah.

AUSTIN: —to that website. That would be cool. I could have some free time to do that.

[ALI giggles]

KEITH: Do you guys also obsess over your twitter bio? And change it all the time, constantly?

AUSTIN: No, I never change mine. Mine is locked in place.

KEITH: What is yours?

AUSTIN: It’s all— It’s like super professional. It’s super for-work. ??

KEITH: Oh.

ALI: I recently changed mine and I [indistinct??]

JACK: Austin Walker, lives in the world.

KEITH: Mine right now— I just changed mine, mine is right now: Cohost of the world’s only Let’s Play duo. World-renowned comedy boy. I’m a grown man, watch me crumple like a paper cup underfoot.

[JACK laughs]

AUSTIN: That’s pretty good. That’s pretty good.

KEITH: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Alright.

ALI: Have a great time. Go to twitter and read our bios.

AUSTIN: I just did. Mine’s not even funny a little bit. Have a—

KEITH: I love reading! I love my bio. ??

AUSTIN: —good week, everyone. We’ll see you next time.

JACK: Have a really good week.

ALI: Thank you.

KEITH: Oh man, Jack’s song is playing right now and it’s hot.

ALI: So good.

[JACK chuckles]

KEITH: It’s hot!

ALI: I love it.

AUSTIN: It’s really good.

JACK: This is my— This bit’s my favorite bit.

AUSTIN: If I say—

KEITH: Oh, this is the part— Wait, right now, hold on— The bell.

FUTURE KEITH??, syncing with the outro’s bells: Ding!

[ALI laughs]

AUSTIN: Oh it’s so good! It’s so good.

KEITH: So good.

AUSTIN: Okay.

JACK: Keith, you just made a load of work for yourself. Because—and I’ll tell why you just made a load of work for yourself—I like the bit now where the bells go… [synced to the bells again] Ding!

AUSTIN: No!

KEITH: God dammit! [cry-laughs]

[AUSTIN laughs]

[SOMEONE claps once]

AUSTIN: … We’ll fix it in post.

[ALI laughs]

KEITH: I can do—

AUSTIN: Night everybody!

KEITH: Goodnight. Hold on, hold on, wait for those bells, and— [bells ding again] There we go!

[laughter continues]

AUSTIN: Alright, let’s clap at 30.

[[01:23:50 END OF EPISODE]]