Lanny Huang (Mono-U Nought) vs John "Meatballs" Darling (R/g Goblins)
*Adapted from the play-by-play heroically typed out by Duress Crew's Billy through Nick Mayo's discord account into the Premodern Discord's 'Tournament Chat' channel. I decided to adapt it into a much easier to read format for everyone who does not want to read through twenty pages of discord chat. :D I have added storytelling elements so everything flows well but please know that this is originally from someone who was sitting next to the match! I also have the raw messages here if interested: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zKD8zMLz0Tl7y5FeQid-SpTr8C9X76Yx-m8dkZQStno/edit?usp=sharing*
Day two of Lobstercon 2024 brings us to the Premodern Side Event that is run alongside the 93/94 Old School event. Presented by Duress Crew, seven rounds of swiss with a cut to the top 8 single elimination leaves us with just two players remaining. On the one side we have John Darling, a founding member of the Duress Crew who's been playing Premodern for two years from Worcester, MA. Better known by Meatballs, he has piloted a standard red and green goblins deck all the way to the finals to protect the title for the glory of Massachusetts. On the other side we have New York City denizen, co-host of the Spike Colony podcast and Friend to Mike Flores Lanny Hwang. Last year Mike Flores lost in the finals of the Side event to one David Tao so can Lanny succeed where Mike couldn’t? Lanny has decided to play Brian Selden's exact Mono-U StifleNought decklist that won the Lobstercon day one Premodern main event yesterday.
GAME 1
Both players keep seven and lead off with a land and no play during their turn. Island and Mountain faced off as Lanny Opts and bottoms to see a fresh card. He then wastes no time and hits a Phyrexian Dreadnaught’s enter the battlefield trigger with Stifle, threatening Meatballs with a two turn clock. Meatballs plays his second land and gives a long think on the situation. Fearing Daze, he shakes his head and decides to jam Naturalize during his main phase which resolves! Lanny takes his turn and casually drops a Mishra's Factory and passes it back. Meatballs plays Wasteland into Goblin Matron which is met with an Impulse with it still on the stack. Matron resolves and fetches up a Goblin Tinkerer, a great piece of tech that can kill as many giant 12/12 monsters as it likes for the small price of taking 1 damage on its 2 toughness frame.
The Dreadnought that died with no resistance.
Lanny shows no fear and simply lays another Island to go along with two more and Factory. A Portent leaves the cards on top and Meatballs responds with a mountain and Goblin Warchief leaving Wasteland up and ready to deal with any Mishras that try to get in the way of the Boss. A very long trip into the thinking tank later and the Warchief resolves with no resistance. Wasteland takes out the potential blocker and Meatballs crashes in with the hasty goblin plus Matron, putting the life totals at Lanny 17 and Meatballs 19 from the Karplusan Forest powering out the crucial Naturalize.
Another Island and pass is met with another Goblin Warchief, for just RR this time, and it resolves. A one mana Goblin Matron elicits an Impulse and a very big sigh from New York City's champion. To that side of the table's dismay, the Matron resolves and scares up a Goblin Piledriver which needs to wait until the next turn to join the festivities. With the Goblin Tinkerer still in hand as well, two Warchiefs and two Matrons charge into the red zone and put the life totals at 11 to 18 in favor of the Duress Crew's last hope to protect Massachusetts from the Empire State invader.
Lanny takes his turn and decides that now is the time to act by floating two blue mana and trusting in some of the sea's secrets with drawing two cards off of a Gush. Another floating of two mana and another Gush leaves Lanny with many cards in hand, four blue mana floating and one Island in play after one returned to hand is replayed. A Phyrexian Dreadnought is phased out with the enter the battlefield effect on the stack with a Vision Charm and a Portent leaves the cards on top. Meatballs' Goblin Piledriver is met with no resistance and Lanny scoops it up to the goblin horde.
GAME 2
Lanny takes the play as both players keep seven and he leads with his usual Unglued Island and pass. Meatballs has a one drop this time but is only the humble Mogg Fanatic and not the much reviled Goblin Lackey. Another Island and pass is met with a Rishadan Port and no play past getting in one with Fanatic. An Impulse is cast at end of turn and when Meatballs uses the Port on upkeep and it is met with no resistance. The reason why was revealed as Lanny quickly Vision Charms a Phyrexian Dreadnought and passes with three tapped Islands. Meatballs' Goblin Warchief eats a Daze and Lanny crashes in for twelve with the mighty shrimp on his turn. Island gets replayed and Lanny passes with a wall of Islands into Meatballs scooping up his cards for game three.
Lanny changing his sideboard play for playing on the draw leads to him complaining that the Mike Flores Deckade sleeves he has been using don't shuffle very well. The prices we pay for jokes around here.
View from the finals! Lanny Huang on the left in the blue denim jacket and Meatballs on the right in the camouflage hat.
GAME 3
Meatballs is on the play and he takes a good amount of time deciding on his opening seven. The goblins player keeps as Lanny with an ice cold stare that tells us nothing sends his opening hand back. The next hand is not much better and his final game of the tournament rides on a five card opening hand. He takes the double mulligan very well and gives nothing away in this pivotal game three for the coveted foil Duress.
Meatballs finally has a turn one Goblin Lackey off a Mountain fetched with Wooded Foothills. It meets a main phase Hydroblast off an Island and the turn is sent back to Meatballs missing his second land drop. The reasoning for the long think on the seven is revealed as he has to pass the turn back. Lanny continues building us his Island collection and Meatballs finds his second land a turn late. No play past that leads to a cycled Gempalm Incinerator with no targets at the end of Lanny's turn. Those two cards netted him a Wasteland but has no play from there. Lanny's question of cards in hand (six) was met with another deep sigh and a lot of thinking. Meatballs showing no green mana has to favor the Dreadnought player but goblins have that bad habit of just winning out of nowhere. All of that coalesces into the New Yorker playing his fourth Island and passing the turn.
Another land off the top for Meatballs and it is a Karplusan Forest that helps cast a Goblin Ringleader. Lanny thinks a little more and hardcasts a Daze to send the goblin packing. A Lobstercon 2023 stamped Gush leads to Stifle on Phyrexian Dreadnought and passing the turn with three Islands untapped. Naturalize from hand thanks to the Karplusan Forest starts the stack for the fight over the 12/12. A defensive Vision Charm is hit with Red Elemental Blast. Impulse off the last two lands into Gush yields nothing so Vision Charm is hit with Red Elemental Blast and the Dreadnought hits the graveyard thanks to Naturalize. "I don't even know who's turn it is" Meatballs quips as he has to pass the turn back.
Lanny goes back up to three Islands as Meatballs shows him a Goblin Piledriver that gets hit with Counterspell and a Mogg Fanatic that resolves. The wall of untapped island is reinforced with a third one joining their fray as Meatballs draws Rishadan Port as his fifth mana. Goblin Ringleader hits the stack as Meatballs leaves a Mountain up instead of Wasteland to possibly bluff another Red Elemental Blast. Lanny gives the Ringleader a thumbs-up as it reveals Goblin Warchief, Siege-Gang Commander, Red Elemental Blast and a land. The Ringleader and Fanatic attack for 3 putting the life totals at 17 all.
Lanny goes up to four mana during his turn and shows Meatballs Phyrexian Dreadnought and Stifle, passing with two mana open. "How many Counterspells in the bin?" asks Meatballs as he takes his time to plan out his next few plays. He is visibly seen doing math and decides to cast the Goblin Warchief we know from the earlier Ringleader. "Hand size?" from Lanny is met with a "Four" from Meatballs as Mogg Fanatic, Goblin Ringleader and Goblin Warchief stared back at him. Lanny responds to the situation with "What the fuck man, just like... what the fuck" giving respect to how crazy back and forth this final game has been. Goblin Warchief resolves but tapping out for Goblin Matron gets it Dazed. No goblins attack as the turn is passed back and everyone's favorite Shrimp puts the life totals at 17 to 4.
Four untapped Islands stand in Meatball's way of keeping the title here in Boston and judging from his body language it does not look promising. His first play is Goblin Matron for two mana leaving two Mountains, Wasteland and Rishadan Port untapped. A Goblin Tinkerer here would have haste and would easily end the game for Lanny if it resolves. Lanny mulls it over for a bit, even taking his jacket off with Goblin Matron still on the stack. Meatballs has him sweating with the play. Matron is allowed to resolve but Stifle counters the enters the battlefield trigger. Meatballs has one last hope as he taps his last four lands for a Siege-Gang Commander and a Counterspell from Lanny elicits a concession from Meatballs! The players start discussing the match and shake hands to cap off yet another amazing Lobstercon!
Congratulations Lanny Hwang for winning the Lobstercon Premodern side event on a mulligan to five!
Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner! Lanny takes home the foil stamped Duress!
HUGE Thanks to Duress Crew’s Billy for typing out the live play-by-play! This wouldn’t have been possible without him