TRANSLATION BY NIGHTFURMOON (nightfurmoon.tumblr.com)
And a huge thanks to Chi for providing the English script for the Adventure Time clips! (chimarkie.tumblr.com)
ENGLISH SCRIPT FOR: Villanos para Villanos: Los casos perdidos de Ooo | Villanos | Cartoon Network
Narrator: Congratulations! You have decided to stop being a pathetic nuisance to become a worthy adversary, acquiring Black Hat’s Organization villain training. Be prepared to learn what you mustn’t do with… ‘The lost cases of OOO’
Black Hat: Welcome, filthy vermin of the abyss, dark creatures, despicable beings, INSIGNIFICANT WRETCHED-
Black Hat: I am Black Hat, but you already know that because you all bought Black Hat Organization’s orientation video for villains, where I make fun of the Forces of Evil’s pathetic embarrassments and you give me your money!
Black Hat: Today we will analyze one of the most chaotic and infamous villain from the World of OOO. A soulless and rotten… Fruit?! What’s this, a lemon?! What kind of villain is this?! Is this a joke?!
Black Hat: At least I expected a pineapple, those are evil. BREAK THAT PIÑATA! I want to see its sweet organs… Euugh, how unpleasant.
Lemon: This castle is in unacceptable condition! UNACCEPTABLE!!!
Black Hat: The unacceptable thing here is your high-pitched voice.
Finn: Yeah, like pranking him up his face!
Princess bubblegum: Yeah, and I have the perfect prank! Come on, Finn!
Black Hat: FLUG! Get that out of my sight, why am I seeing signs of affection?!
Black Hat: This guy is more stupid than I thought, leaving himself totally exposed, without security?! This wouldn’t have happened if he had bought Black Hat Organization’s security system.
Narrator: Which is on sale! Acquire it and nobody will be able to enter your lair, not even you!
Black Hat: That thing has ears?
Black Hat: Yes yes, okay! Proceed!
Lemon: (Reading) You… Really… Smell... Like... Dog buns…
Black Hat: A paper?! They should’ve squeezed him or something! I’ll give an example. 505!?
Lemon: This is everyone then?
Peppermint butler: Yes, all the castle staff
Black Hat: What kind of servants are those?! They’re almost as sweet as 505!
Lemon: So, which one of you was it? Who did the thing?
Ice cream person: The Thing...?
Lemon: (Pulls out note) The thing, the thing!
Peppermint butler: Hey man, calm down! It’s just a prank man, for laughs!
Lemon: Prank? For laughs? 12 years dungeon. All of you, dungeon, 7 years no trials, come on, let’s move it!
Black Hat: This is ridiculous! What kind of evil monologue is that?! There must be a mistake, there has to be a real villain somewhere!
Black Hat: And now, let’s see how the screaming lemon villain faces two pieces of garbage wearing blankets.
Black Hat: HAHAHAHA! Watch him cry! This moment is worth all my time wasted! It’s the best thing I have seen so far! AGAIN! HAHAHAAH! AGAIN, AGAIN!
Caption thingy: Technical difficulties, don’t go!
Peppermint butler: My lord, food comes from-
Lemon: (Yells) NO! That is why I’m royal and you are serval!
Finn: You ready to pour the stuff?
Princess bubblegum: Yeah, I made it super-hot this time!
Finn: Wait ‘til he opens the lid
Peppermint butler: Behold, a plate of mashed carrots, flav- (screaming)
Black Hat: HAHAHA! Poor idiot, hahaha!
Lemon: Stop screaming! Why are you screaming?!
Peppermint butler: Because I’m excited by this meal I made!
Lemon: Me too, I’m excited too
Black Hat: I once puked on one of my subordinate’s face. Now I have Flug.
Black Hat: Beginner's mistake. Your servants should always have the first bite.
Peppermint butler: He’s eating the dirt! SPICE IT NOW!
Black Hat: How humiliating… The bubble gum girl is the person with more brains in here.
Flug! Are you sure that the villain is the lemon and not the bubble gum girl?!
Lemon: A-apple!
Black Hat: Ahh, fruit cannibalism. Finally, the lemon does something depraved. Ah! Even better, eating his subordinates…
Lemon: ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON!
Black Hat: That’s your verdict?! They only learn their lesson when they see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Black Hat: That’s right! Back in my day we put the goody-two-shoes in front of a train on the move!
Princess bubblegum: If I turn myself back to my real age, I can reclaim the throne
Finn: What?! No! I mean, uh.. You can do that? (Bubblegum nods) Then.. Why did you wait so long?
Princess bubblegum: Because.. Being 13 again is.. Blue baloobie!
Black Hat: Clearly this girl has a perturbed mind. I would like to rip it off…
Finn: Princess, I think I can help
Black Hat: Out of all the rituals I know, this is one of the most wicked. Using pieces of your acolytes to increase your power is effective. Now, I’ll take off one of Flug’s arms.
Finn: Finished
Black Hat: BLARGH, they had to ruin it!
Black Hat: Hah! I heard this heart breaking.
Princess bubblegum: YO EARL!
Lemon: WHAT?
Princess bubblegum: HEY, YOU’RE FIRED, YOU BUTT!
Princess bubblegum: He was the first one of my experiments gone wrong
Black Hat: THAT’S NOT A FAILED EXPERIMENT! I’ll show you what a failed experiment is!
You know NOTHING about failures and mistakes! This is truly a disgrace for the Forces-
Princess bubblegum: Lemongrab!
Lemon: I am the earl!
Princess bubblegum: Yeah?
Lemon: The earl, of NOTHING!
Black Hat: I can’t be the only one that thinks that this girl is more diabolic than the lemon. She condemns him to an existence of suffering, giving life to a useless lemon.
Princess bubblegum: WAIT!
Black Hat: Hahaha! Come on bubble gum girl! Close the door and crush that ugly lemon! Show your wicked thoughts!
Lemon: I am alone
Black Hat: If he hadn’t thrown himself off the window, I’d have personally done it!
Black Hat: What kind of diabolical exhibitionism is this?! How vulgar…
Crowd: No, no, we won’t go!
Princess bubblegum: All I need is 3 healthy volunteers to move in with Lemongrab he’s all by himself
Black Hat: The bubble gum girl is giving us a great evil lesson. She pretends to agree with her rival’s terms, but in reality she’s sending him the trash of their society. Excellent.
Green guy with pink glasses: 2 things, princess
Green guy with pink glasses: Yo lemongrease, we’re gonna live here at lemongrab’s now. I’m Jamaica, and this is Tuffy and Blumbooooo
Lemon: Blumbo? What is that?
Blue guy w pink glasses: What?
Lemon: On Blumbo’s ears?
Green guy w pink glasses: That’s his headphones!
Blue guy with bandana: Settle down, lemongrease!
Black Hat: A true villain would never denigrate themselves, letting some insolent preteens disrespect them like that!
Lemon: I am not grease! This is UNACCEPTABLE!
Black Hat: Ugh, that scream again. That’s it, fight for you dignity! Or what’s left of it, you imbecilic lemon.
Black Hat: Such a plain torture room. There are no chains, spikes, nooses, axes- They could escape in any moment! Where’s the fun in that?! And the suffering…
Lemon: Maybe 10 units for trespassers
Black Hat: Ahh, music to my ears… The screams of a hero suffering always puts a smile on my face.
Princess bubblegum: Lemongrab, stop! Please, Earl, I can help you
Black Hat: Bratty lemon! It’s not your creator’s fault that you’re an incompetent, badly dressed crybaby that only yells intolerable shrieks!
Lemon: You’re poison, poison!
Black Hat: The last confrontation. Here is where a villain can retrieve their dignity. And of course, the lemon fails. I told you, they escaped.
Black Hat: Rule 42 of the manual, do not stop attacking until your enemy’s heart stops beating.
Lemon: Two lemongrabs?
Black Hat: This girl doesn’t learn from her mistakes! Creating the same hideous lemon twice?! This will probably end badly. It’s obvious that they’ll end up eating each other, hahaha…
Black Hat: This irritates my sight! Where is that bubble gum girl, surely she’s doing something evil! GOOD! Good, cut their legs!
Black Hat: Enough! I can’t see any more of this.
Black Hat: Now, I’ll tell you Lemongrab’s mistakes. Number 1: He’s a huge piece of- Lemon. Number 2: He’s a bratty crybaby. Number 3: He didn’t hire Black Hat Organization’s service. Clearly there was a mistake here. His creator is the one with a malicious wit, not that silly lemon! What kind of a villain without class have I just witnessed?! There’s only one thing you can do with a villain like this!
THAT’S ALL FOLKS. BE SURE TO WATCH THE ORIGINAL VIDEO AND SUPPORT IT! You are not allowed to use these without my permission. There was a reason I didn’t reupload the video with these subs, I want the original to get all the views! That’s the only way of showing CN we love Villainous.
Link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq9XR4MpJBo&feature=youtu.be