Word Crimes by Weird Al Yankovic (2014) lyrics

Everybody shut up, WOO!

Everyone listen up! Hey, hey, hey, uh Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey

If you can't write in the proper _____________

If you don't know how to _____________

Maybe you flunked that _____________

And maybe now you _____________

That people mock you _____________

Okay, now here's the _____________

I'll try to educate ya

Gonna familiarize you with the _____________

You'll learn the _____________

Of nouns and _____________

Literacy's your _____________

And that's why I think it's a

Good time

To learn some _____________

Now, did I _____________

Work on that _____________

You should know when It's less or it's _____________

Like people who were never raised in a _____________

I hate these word _____________

Like I could care _____________

That means you do _____________

At least a _____________

Don't be a _____________

You'd better slow _____________

And use the right _____________

Show the world you're no _____________

Everybody wise up!

Say you got an "I","T" followed by apostrophe, "s"

Now what does that mean?

You would not use "it's" in this case

As a _____________

It's a _____________

What's a _____________?

Well, it's the shortening of a word, or a group of words By the omission of a sound or letter

Okay, now here's some _____________

Syntax you're always _____________

No x in _____________

Your participle's _____________

But I don't want your _____________

If you really wanna

Leave out that Oxford _____________

Just keep in mind

That "be", "see", "are", "you" Are words, not letters Get it together

Use your _____________

You should never write words using _____________

Unless you're seven

Or your name is Prince

I hate these word crimes

You really need a

Full time _____________

You dumb mouth-_____________

Well, you should _____________

Some cunning _____________

To help you _____________

What is proper _____________

One thing I ask of _____________

Time to learn your homophones is past _____________

Learn to diagram a sentence _____________

Always say "to whom"

Don't ever say "to who"

And listen up when I tell you this

I hope you never use quotation marks for _____________

You finished second grade

I hope you can _____________

If you're doing good or doing _____________

About better figure out the _____________

Irony is not _____________

And I thought that you'd gotten it through your _____________

What's figurative and what's _____________

Oh but, just now, you said

You literally couldn't get out of bed

That really makes me want to literally

Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head

I read your _____________

It's quite_____________

Your grammar's _____________

You're _____________

Saw your blog post

It's really fantastic

That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)

'Cause you write like a spastic

I hate these Word Crimes

Your prose is dopey

Think you should only

Write in emoji

Oh, you're a lost cause

Go back to pre-_____________

Get out of the gene _____________

Try your best to not _____________

Never mind I give up Really now I give up Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey Go Away!

Answers

Everybody shut up, WOO!

Everyone listen up! Hey, hey, hey, uh Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey

If you can't write in the proper way

If you don't know how to conjugate

Maybe you flunked that class

And maybe now you find

That people mock you online

Okay, now here's the deal

I'll try to educate ya

Gonna familiarize you with the nomenclature

You'll learn the definitions

Of nouns and prepositions

Literacy's your mission

And that's why I think it's a

Good time

To learn some grammar

Now, did I stammer

Work on that grammar

You should know when It's less or it's fewer

Like people who were never raised in a sewer

I hate these word crimes

Like I could care less

That means you do care

At least a little

Don't be a moron

You'd better slow down

And use the right pronoun

Show the world you're no clown

Everybody wise up!

Say you got an "I","T" followed by apostrophe, "s"

Now what does that mean?

You would not use "it's" in this case

As a possessive

It's a contraction

What's a contraction?

Well, it's the shortening of a word, or a group of words By the omission of a sound or letter

Okay, now here's some notes

Syntax you're always mangling

No x in espresso

Your participle's dangling

But I don't want your drama

If you really wanna

Leave out that Oxford comma

Just keep in mind

That "be", "see", "are", "you"

Are words, not letters

Get it together

Use your spellchecker

You should never write words using numbers

Unless you're seven

Or your name is Prince

I hate these word crimes

You really need a

Full time proofreader

You dumb mouth-breather

Well, you should hire

Some cunning linguist

To help you distinguish

What is proper English

One thing I ask of you

Time to learn your homophones is past due

Learn to diagram a sentence too

Always say "to whom"

Don't ever say "to who"

And listen up when I tell you this

I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis

You finished second grade

I hope you can tell

If you're doing good or doing well

About better figure out the difference

Irony is not coincidence

And I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull

What's figurative and what's literal

Oh but, just now, you said

You literally couldn't get out of bed

That really makes me want to literally

Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head

I read your e-mail

It's quite apparent

Your grammar's errant

You're incoherent

Saw your blog post

It's really fantastic

That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)

'Cause you write like a spastic

I hate these Word Crimes

Your prose is dopey

Think you should only

Write in emoji

Oh, you're a lost cause

Go back to pre-school

Get out of the gene pool

Try your best to not drool

Never mind I give up Really now I give up Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey Go Away!