So let me get this straight.

You represent an organisation called the Protectors of the Plot Continuum. You use bizarre dimensional technology to travel into fictional worlds, where you hunt down and destroy fanfiction which is destabilising the host canon. Your ‘agents’ operate from a headquarters which is virtually unnavigable. You have access to all the technology in all of fiction, but still go in and personally kill Mary-Sues and the like. Am I getting this right?

The woman leant back in the chair, smiling. “Broadly, yep,” she said.

The Sunflower Official steepled his fronds and stared at her, inasmuch as a Flower can stare. And why, precisely, should I believe all of this?

“What, the fact that I just dropped through a swirling blue portal into your office isn’t enough?” Shaking her head, the woman pulled a sheaf of papers out of her pack and dropped them on the SO’s desk. “Pictures from HQ, from various missions, from our tech department. And pictures of your lot, too. Take your time; I’ll wait.”

The Sunflower didn’t even touch the photos, instead bending his petals towards the woman. You have been watching us? he asked.

The woman snorted. “You haven’t exactly been subtle!” she exclaimed. “You’ve been wreaking merry havoc on the Word Worlds ever since you showed up. Honestly, what made you think blowing up planets was an appropriate reaction to badfic?”

We have been making… improvements in that area, the SO pointed out. Our human agents-

“Yes, them,” the woman agreed. “They’re the only reason I’m here. You’ve got, what, nineteen now?”

Twenty, the SO corrected. Agent Wentway joined last week. Er… precisely how closely have you been watching us?

“Your security sucks,” the woman said, holding up her portal device. “We’ve made a few probes into your HQ, but honestly, just watching your agents has told us everything we need to know. We do have a few more staff to work with than you.” She coughed. “Yes, quite a few more.”

I confess I still find this hard to believe, the Sunflower said. You’re claiming to use exactly the same terminology, and much of the same technology, as us, but you haven’t provided any explanation for that ‘coincidence’.

“It’s the other way round,” the woman said. “We’ve been watching you since you started showing up. Unless you spent a long time hiding out, our PPC is older than yours. And…” She shrugged, and pointed at the photos again. “Your Agent Anya spends a lot of time on missions talking about the ‘coincidence’ that you invented terms like Mary-Sue and slash independently of Earth. We figure there’s something about your organisation that makes it prone to… what, being influenced by the rest of the multiverse? So when you started mucking about in badfic, you got cross-contaminated with our characteristics.”

I find that hypothesis… unpalatable, the SO admitted. The idea that the PPC is nothing more than a derivative copy…

“No, you’re a bit more than that,” the woman assured him. “Your HQ - well, despite its quirks, ours is basically just a big office building. Yours is, uh, really, really impressive. And some of your tech is better than ours, too. And then there’s- well.” She pursed her lips and looked the Sunflower up and down speculatively. “Then there’s the reason I’m here,” she said at last.

I assumed you had simply come to alert us to your presence, the SO said, and perhaps to issue some threat or other along the lines of ‘if you continue to interfere with our work’, ellipsis, end sentence fragment.

The woman chuckled. “Not quite,” she said. “I’m here because we want to propose an alliance.” She frowned, then shook her head. “No - a merger of the two PPCs.”

The SO jerked his blossom back, his fronds going stiff. That is… quite a suggestion, he said. Would you care to explain why?

The woman shrugged, waving one hand vaguely. “Like I said, you’ve got a better HQ than ours - we’ve pretty much outgrown it - and better tech. And, uh, we’ve been having some leadership issues recently. For quite a while, really. The idea of replacing Upstairs with someone who doesn’t want to meddle as much - someone clearly separate from the agents - someone like you Flowers - it’s become quite popular since you showed up. And now you’ve demonstrated how eager you are to leave the missions to your non-floral agents…

“As for what you’d gain, like I said, we have a lot more agents than you do. With our workforce and your organisational structure, we could really start to clean up the Word Worlds. Up to now, we’ve barely been having an impact, but with your help - or ours, if you prefer to look at it that way - we can make headway against the Sues, for the first time since, well, ever.

“So - what do you say?”