Ballistic Gel Based Jobstone Stuffed Into Anal Review
Warning: This post does not recommend any insertion of objects into your ass. For the sake of future dignity in old age, and not to cause trouble for the anorectal doctors who still have to work overtime on holidays, please take the correct approach when using your anal.
Once upon a time, still a sprout, I saw this picture.
I didn't do much thinking about it at the time, other than being shocked at the unique vision of XIV players.
And recently, while making jobstones for my friends and sprouts, I was surprised to find that the size and feel of these jobstones made according to the official molds are intuitively at great variance with this list.
As a result, doubts arose about the legitimacy of the list. Was the list based on the original author's conclusions based on practice, or was it just a random thing that was done out of necessity?
With this doubt in mind, I took action.
Of course, I oppose all acts of inserting foreign objects into the human body by unconventional means. However, to verify the pain level ranking of inserting a jobstone into the anal, the involvement of an anal is necessary.
At this time, we can use ballistic gel to simulate human tissue.
Ballistic gel is a type of gel used to test the destructive power of bullets on the human body. Its density and physical properties are very close to human muscle tissue.
However, ballistic gel on Taobao can cost several hundred yuan and has limited uses, making it too extravagant for experiments. Therefore, we can use common ingredients to make homemade ballistic gel.
Ballistic gel production
First, we'll need a packet of gelatin, which will be no stranger to those of you who make treats regularly.
Mix the gelatin with water in the ratio of 1:8 and add the right amount of sugar (important) and mix well.
Stir well and filter off any scum that fails to dissolve.
Next, place in the fridge and chill for two hours.
Remove the gelatin and heat it in a water bath.
After heating in a water bath for some time, a solid-liquid mixture of gelatin was obtained.
The solid-liquid mixture is allowed to stand for a while, cooled to room temperature and poured into prepared containers, taking care to sterilize the containers ahead of time and to isolate them with food plastic bags to avoid the liquid from sticking to the surface of the containers.
In this way, the basic materials of ballistic gel has been prepared completely, but then there is another question, how to simulate the anal?
According to Baidu search results, the average radius of a human anal should be around 1-2cm, so we can use Shuanghui ham sausage with similar radius as a reference for the anal.
The ham is inserted into the container and secured, then the container is placed in the fridge and chilled for 12 hours.
At this point, the preparation is completely finished and the next step is the validation phase.
Validation
There are three criteria for the validation phase:
- The entry difficulty, the ease with which the jobstone is stuffed into the Ballistic Gel will be an important basis for determining how high or low it will rank on the leaderboard.
- The extraction difficulty, after all, there is an in and an out, just stuffing it in and not taking it out is meaningless, and the removal difficulty will also become an important source of measuring the jobstone's score.
- The pain it caused, which is somewhat subjective due to the fact that it is, after all, human tissue simulated with ballistic gel, and can only be determined by the number and depth of scratches produced by the stone in the gel.
When everything is ready, the experiment will begin.
(Note: The jobstones used in this experiment are all failures from the process of making for friends and sprouts, they will not be given to anyone and will be discarded and destroyed after the experiment.)
Healers
The first group chose the healers. It's because most of the jobstone in the healers group are relatively regular and produce relatively little damage to the gel, minimizing the impact on subsequent trials.
Scholar
Obviously, I severely misjudged the amount of damage the Scholar's jobstone could do.
The overly wide jobstone caused unexpected damage to the gel's overall structure as soon as it was stuffed into the gel... Scholar, you are powerful!
However, in terms of pulling it out, the difficulty was not as difficult as expected, or perhaps because of the structural damage that had already been done to the gel body, causing the degree of tightness to change.
Also thanks to the fact that the Scholar's jobstone isn't particularly angular, there was no visible damage to the gel's inner walls.
Overall difficulty is scored on a 10-point scale:
Entry Difficulty: 8
Extraction Difficulty: 4
Expected Pain: 7
Sage
Nearly similar to the Scholar, the Sage, who is also a shield healer, has a wider jobstone, though the width of its sides is actually slightly smaller in comparison to the Scholar, right in the delicate zone of being able to fit into a simulated ass without causing too much friction on the inside of the gel.
Still, the overly large jobstone created quite a bit of difficulty in stuffing it in completely, and its prongs brought out quite a bit of gel debris when entering and pulling it out, with an expected level of pain that should not be underestimated.
Entry Difficulty: 6
Extraction Difficulty: 4
Expected Pain: 8
Slightly lower overall, but considering that the Scholar has already done some damage to the wall, making any subsequent tucks somewhat less difficult, the Sage's theoretical tuck difficulty should be in the same tier as the Scholar's.
Astrologian & White Mage
The two main healers showed consistent gentleness on the jobstone, so they were put together for review.
First up is the White Mage, a teardrop shaped structure with almost no corners, which makes it very smooth both to stuff and to pull out.
The teardrop-like structure resulted in an exceptionally smooth plugging process, almost going so deep that it was difficult to plug it out.
Despite the fact that it was emphasized at the beginning of this post that please do not insert foreign objects into your body, you have to admit that there was an indefinable feeling of relief when stuffing the White Mage's jobstone into the simulated anal.
The Astrologian is similar to the White Mage, though the regular circular structure makes it more difficult to stuff compared to the White Mage, but it's still overly simple compared to the Scholar and Sage tier.
Overall, the process of stuffing Astrologian is rather boring and lackluster.
White Mage:
Entry Difficulty: 2
Extraction Difficulty: 3
Expected Pain: 3
Astrologian:
Entry Difficulty: 3
Extraction Difficulty: 3
Expected Pain: 4
Before the next review…
Dark Knight and bad news
When the test came to the tanks’ jobstone group, the prongs of the two wings of the Dark Knight's jobstone caused irreversibly large damage to the gel's inner walls when it was pulled out, causing the gel to crack completely.
Emergency fixes are currently being made to the gel, and the remaining tests will continue in the evening.
A post-mortem of the gel revealed a large number of scratches, and considering that several previous experiments hadn't produced much gel drop, it was surmised that it could only have been caused by Dark Knight.
Not to be outdone by the profession that tore through the endless flood of light, the Dark Knight, is awe-inspiring!
Dark Knight:
Entry Difficulty: 7 (because it's too sharp and just stabbing in like a knife)
Extraction Difficulty: 10
Expected Pain: 10
One of the great things about choosing gelatin is that if the mould is damaged you can melt it and make it all over again.
The other reason for only making one gel is that I defaulted to the idea that there was only one person who made this form, and thus only using one anal ensured accurate results.
But in a way it also kind of ignores the fact that the human anal has a certain ability to repair itself, and I had already listened to the advice to make more gels!
Magical Ranged DPS
Considering that there is also the Gunbreaker, which has the shape that looks very bad, so let's skip the rest of the three brothers, and first pick the relatively gentle shape of the magical DPS to test it.
Red Mage
The feel when stuffing it in is similar to White Mage, but because of the extra prongs on the surface, there is some friction with the inside of the gel, but it doesn't affect it much.
Considering that the human body is more sensitive, I guess the prongs will bring more pain.
When pulling it out, the crystal of the Red Mage brings out more gel than the White Mage 's because of the prongs.
Contrary to my first impression, I guess it would hurt if I really shoved the Red Mage's jobstone into my ass, right?
Entry Difficulty: 3
Extraction Difficulty: 4
Expected Pain: 6
Blue Mage
First of all, I'd like to explain that the jobstone of this Blue Mage is black because I wanted to adjust the color to dark green, but I accidentally adjusted it to almost pitch black.
As the original ranking of the existence of A tier, in the test of the Blue Mage itself is a little apprehensive, afraid of it ends up like what Dark Knight has done.
However, after the actual test, I found that the Blue Mage is surprisingly good at stuffing into the gel.
I think it is related to its diamond-shaped shape, and although it looks at the sharp corners, but in fact these corners are not sharp comparing to Dark Knight.
However, considering that it is still protruding, the level of pain should still be higher than the curved shape of the White Mage, Red Mage or Astrologian.
Overall not a particularly tough attempt.
Entry Difficulty: 3
Extraction Difficulty: 3
Expected Pain: 7
Summoner
A very interesting experiment that got the exact opposite result of the charts.
Whether it was in the difficulty of stuffing or pulling out, the Summoner was far inferior to what the scholar had achieved in the morning.
In the process of stuffing it into the gel, the resistance was only felt slightly greater than that of the Red Mage jobstone, and was far less than that of the Scholar, which was difficult to stuff and had to be pushed hard in order to make the entrance open.
This is the opposite of the results achieved by the twins on the ranking list.
In order to find out why, let's first observe the similarities and differences in the shapes of the two jobstones.
As you can see, the basic shape of the two is exactly the same, only the top and bottom are reversed. This is the reason for the huge difference in tucking difficulty.
Summoner's jobstone in the process of stuffing are generally showing a relatively reasonable expansion trend, while stuffing Scholar is equivalent to stuffing a trapezium inside the anal, which also adds difficulty to the stuffing of Scholar’s jobstone.
Therefore, in summary, the Scholar's jobstone, in the process of stuffing it into the anal, exhibits a difficulty and causes a pain index that should be much higher than the Summoner’s jobstone.
Entry Difficulty: 4
Extraction Difficulty: 3
Expected Pain: 5
Again, before the next review
BAD NEWS again:
While taking the tanks evaluation, Gel was once again stuffed with jobstones from the Gunbreaker. (You tanks, Auh).
However, I've already finished the evaluation of Magical DPS and the remaining tanks, so I'll continue to update the review after finishes taking care of my cat.
(Comment: Analbreaker )
Black Mage
Contrary to the maximum size of the Magicals’ jobstone, stuffing the Black Mage completely into the gel was far less difficult than I thought it would be.
The process of stuffing the Black Mage's jobstone felt close to that of the White Mage's, with an indescribable sense of smoothness, though the gel had a more pronounced sense of expansion than the White Mage's due to its much larger lower portion of the area.
The reason for this phenomenon is surmised to be due to the fact that the Black Mage jobstone as a whole has a streamlined shape that resembles a water droplet, thus creating a lower resistance as it enters the interior of the gel.
However, it is probably because of this that while stuffing a black mage's jobstone, it is very easy to stuff it too deep to the extent that it greatly increases the difficulty of pulling it out, for example, I accidentally stuffed the Black Mage's jobstone too deep into the gel, which made it difficult to remove it.
Entry Difficulty: 3
Extraction Difficulty: 5
Expected Pain: 5
Tanks
Paladin
Much like the impression given by the job itself, the Paladin's jobstone seems relatively much gentler compared to the other tanks when tucked into the anal.
Although its shape was generally similar to that of the Blue Mage, compared to the sharp edges of the Blue Mage's jobstone, the Paladin's jobstone was much more rounded at the corners, which made it possible for it to be inserted with little damage to the inner walls of the gel.
However, due to its size, there were still quite a few obstacles to inserting it and pulling it out.
It is slightly more difficult to pull out and insert than the similarly shaped Blue Mgae, but the amount of gel it brings out, as well as the level of pain it is expected to cause, should be lower than Blue Mage.
Entry Difficulty: 5
Extraction Difficulty: 5
Expected Pain: 5
Warrior
The Warrior had the greatest thickness of the tanks, though it was also one of the most rounded, making it not too difficult to stuff.
However, accordingly, due to the excessive width, after the jobstone was completely stuffed inside the gel, the gel showed a visible deformation.
This also caused the Warrior’s jobstone to bring out a large amount of gel debris while pulling it out, seeing as it had caused a large amount of damage to the gel's interior.
Although the Warrior Jobstone was very easy to stuff in, the difficulty of pulling it out and the accompanying damage was still very great.
Entry Difficulty: 5
Extraction Difficulty: 7
Expected Pain: 7
Gunbreaker
Although it had been expected that the Gunbreaker’s jobstone would definitely cause great damage to the gel due to its unique shape, it was still beyond my expectations that the damage would be so severe.
There were multiple reasons why Gunbreaker was able to cause so much damage.
First of all, although at first glance the Gunbreaker’s jobstone was a rectangular structure similar to the Paladin or Blue Mage, it wasn't, the Gunbreaker's jobstone had a multi-layered layered structure.
As the Gunbreaker’s jobstone entered the gel's interior, these layered structures acted as something like a shovel for a bulldozer, causing great damage to the gel's interior.
Also one more thing is very important, over there is the way the crystal enters the gel.
When stuffing the crystal into the gel, I didn't take the direct way of stuffing it in, but tilted it slightly like the icon in the game, so that the lower left corner of the crystal entered the gel first.
This corner happens to be the most complex part of the Gunbreaker’s jobstone layering, and thus more difficult to access.
This was an oversight on my part, and all subsequent experiments will strictly follow the career icon perpendicular to the analogue anal to access the gel interior.
Entry Difficulty: 8
Extraction Difficulty: Killed
Expected Pain: 8
Finally, before the next review…
There are two gels left, and given that there are still a number of complex shaped stones that have not been assessed, the next test will not be grouped by job class, but will prioritise the more simple shaped jobstones
And also BAD NEWS:
Cat took advantage of my absence on the loo to chew up a piece of gel, and only one of the gels available for testing has survived.
On why not to use lubricants
First of all, it is undeniable that when a foreign object is inserted into the anal, lubricant is usually applied to protect it, and the results obtained from the use of lubricants in this experiment are more in line with the objective reality of life.
However, one of the most important principles of this experiment is not to waste, so it would be a waste to buy a lubricant that can only be used once.
Repeat, the most important principle of this evaluation is not to waste, and therefore the gel will be utilized to the fullest extent after the experiment is completed.
Firstly, the gel is disposed of in batches, so that the remainder can be dissolved and reused.
Remove portions to chop and serve in a bowl.
Add the appropriate condensed milk and milk and mix well.
Though it is a food flavouring, the gelatin tastes terrible straight away and has a faint alum flavour, which is why adding sugar is a very important thing to do during the preparation process.
Refrigerate for 15 minutes to obtain a better taste.
Neither condensed milk nor cow's milk is recommended for kittens, although cat are interested in it as well.
Despite the addition of milk and condensed milk, the taste of simple gelatin still can't be described as good, but after all, it's food and can't be wasted.
Anyway, it was a half-full meal, so I hope I don't have to eat it again.
Remaining Jobs
Machinist
The few remaining jobstones all gave off a very, very unpleasant feeling, and even the Machinist, who seemed to have the most regular shape, had a relatively huge size.
Consequently, I had to be very careful when stuffing the Machinist’s jobstone, fearing that too much violence would cause the last piece of gel to be damaged.
In order to make the results more accurate, I should have theoretically shoved the Machinist's jobstone completely inside the gel, but after burying it more than halfway in, the immense resistance made it impossible to penetrate the Machinist's jobstone any more than halfway in.
Although continued force still managed to fully insert the Machinist’s jobstone, it had to be stopped for the sake of subsequent experiments.
However, when pulling out the jobstone, the Machinist's jobstone felt almost unstoppable and brought out almost no gel debris.
In terms of the level of pain caused, the Machinist should be relatively low
Entry Difficulty: 7
Extraction Difficulty: 4
Expected Pain: 5
Monk
Monk is also a stone that I’m afraid to tuck in vigorously, and it is clear that its thickness is not particularly great, but it still exhibits great difficulty in tucking in.
After shoving it in with a little force, the gel cracked.
Moreover, due to the special curvature of Monk's jobstone, a large amount of gel debris was brought out during the process of pulling it out.
This destructive power was more than C tier on the list, it was at least A tier.
Entry Difficulty: 6
Extraction Difficulty: 7
Expected Pain: 7
Ninja
The Ninja's jobstone is a clear reference to the shuriken, and displays the same sharpness as a sword blade when it comes to thrusting.
However, since it is too small, it only produces a blocking sensation when it is namely deep.
It's not particularly difficult if you're just asking for it to be shoved in, but the sharp ends can still still cause serious damage to the gel if it's to be inserted deep enough.
When pulling it out, though, as long as the tips on both sides come out, there's little to no difficulty following up.
It's a very polarising jobstone, but the difficulty of stuffing it in alone is still not enough for a S tier.
Entry Difficulty: 7
Extraction Difficulty: 5
Expected Pain: 7
Samurai
Too small the whole thing fell off, can’t be reviewed.
Reaper
As a new job added in 6.0, it only has a C tier on this tier list.
But Reaper has also shown to be extremely destructive after actual testing
Firstly, because of the shape of the Reaper’s jobstone, its lower tip wreaks havoc on the gel at the initial stage of stuffing it in.
At the same time, due to the flame-like bifurcated structure above the Reaper, a large amount of gel debris was brought out like a plough rake while pulling it out.
Entry Difficulty: 6
Extraction Difficulty: 7
Expected Pain: 8
Bard
Firstly, an apology, the Bard also appeared to have fell in like Samurai, and just accidentally deleted the Bard’s record when deleting the used profile.
However, when trying to get the Bard out, something different happened.
When the Samurai fell in, all that was needed was to turn the colloid upside down and the Samurai came right out.
When it came to removing the Bard's jobstone, however, the jobstone showed great stubbornness and would not come out of the colloid no matter how hard it was tapped.
Eventually, as a last resort, tweezers had to be used to remove the Bard's jobstone from the gel and destroy a great deal of the colloid.
Presumably it would be the Bard's barb-like structure that firmly clasps the inside of the gel, which in turn gives it great stability.
It's safe to say that poets are by far the most difficult jobstone to pull out, so there are times when being small really isn't a big deal.
Entry Difficulty: 3
Extraction Difficulty: 10
Expected Pain: 8
Dragoon
In fact, at first, I didn't think of the Dragoon's jobstone as something that would be hard to stuff.
After all, its structure is still similar to the teardrop structure of the Red Mage or Black Mage, so theoretically it should be very easy to stuff it.
Still, the actual result was far more than I expected, the Dragoon, although approximating a teardrop structure, was too large in the lower part, making it very difficult to stuff the Dragoon into the analogue anal.
Worse still was the structure of the top half of the jobstone, and when fully tucked in, the asymmetrical structure of the right half of the Dragoon acted like a saw, causing great wear and tear on the inner walls of the gel.
And while pulling it out, the Dragoon’s jobstone gave me the illusion for a moment that I was pulling on a saw, with the toothed right half causing secondary damage to the gel as a whole, which in turn caused the gel to deform in a cracking manner.
Worthy of being a veteran melee DPS, his strength and depth remained awe-inspiring!
Entry Difficulty: 7
Extraction Difficulty: 9
Expected Pain: 9
Dancer
Although Dancer had high expectations in my mind at the start, and it made sense to stuff the gel and destory it, it was still quite a bit lower than the expected score I had in mind.
Because Dancer's jobstone structure is similar to Dark Knight's in that it's tapered and angular, it's a bit flat that Dancer only partially destroys it, compared to Dark Knight's stuffing and pulling it out and splitting the gel in two!
But even so, there was no denying that the Dancer's jobstone was extremely destructive when it came to shoving it into the anal, the tapered structure allowed it to penetrate deeply into the interior of the ass like a nail, and even though it wasn't much of a challenge to shove it in, it caused a great deal of damage to the colloid along the way.
At the same time, when pulling it out, the barb-like structure of its tip also caused great trouble for smooth extraction, and in the end, it was also because of this hook structure that scraped into the scars caused by the Dragoon that led to the collapse of the gel structure.
It could be said that the pain and destructive power of the Dancer jobstone, when stuffed, was second only to the Dark Knight's terrifying existence.
Entry Difficulty: 6
Extraction Difficulty: 9
Expected Pain: 10
Result
(特殊 means Special)
Although this form should be more reasonable than the original, it still has a number of inaccuracies.
For example, the level of pain is judged only by the gel that is brought out and the damage that is done to the gel, which is still not enough to simulate the human body.
Also, in order to ensure the accuracy of the experiment, 20 different gels should have been prepared, but due to financial constraints, this was not possible for me.
Even so, this post, and I, are still very much against the practice of inserting foreign objects into one's anal, so please take care of your body.
Finally, I wish all readers good health and good bowel movements, and I hope you will remember to lift your anus daily.
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