Autumn in Hieron 01: We Have Not Yet Begun To Be Pompous
Amaya/@thepearlofdeath
KEITH: I’m gonna do an example, okay, ready? We learn by doing. Three, two, one, clap [out of
sync clapping] like that.
[MUSIC – AUTUMN NOT WINTER]
KEITH: That’s what we do.
[MUSIC STOPS]
AUSTIN: Okay. But that wasn’t the clap! That was not the clap.
KEITH: That wasn’t the clap! That was just – this is just teaching by example.
AUSTIN: Okay.
KEITH: Yeah. [AUSTIN laughs] Alright, we’re – we’re cool?
JACK: Yep.
KEITH: Three, two, one. [clapping]
[MUSIC – AUTUMN NOT WINTER]
JACK: Wait – wait wait wait wait.
[MUSIC STOPS]
JACK: Just moving everything away. From. The world. Okay.
AUSTIN: You ready to clap?
KEITH: Yeah, alright.
AUSTIN: Cause we did such a good job. [laughter]
KEITH: Yeah, do you – I want – do you guys remember how we do it?
AUSTIN: [cross] Three, two, one, clap?
KEITH: [cross] How we do this clap?
AUSTIN: Yeah. Let’s do it.
ALI: [quietly] One two three.
KEITH: Alright. Three, two, one. [out of sync clapping]
[MUSIC – AUTUMN NOT WINTER]
AUSTIN: Hey, Internet. This is Austin Walker, of the StreamFriends, twitch.tv/streamfriends,
streamfriends.tv, and today we’re gonna do the first adventure of our Dungeon World campaign,
we’ll see how this goes. Dungeon World is a game by Sage LaTorra and Adam Koebel. Uh,
Sage Kobold Productions, and it is a hack of Vincent Baker’s, uh, Apocalypse World game.
Joining me today, from West to East, Art Tebbel.
ART: [pause] Oh hi. [laughter] I just posed cause I forgot the cameras aren’t gonna be part of the
final thing.
AUSTIN: Where can people find you, Art?
ART: Uh, I’m on Twitter @atebbel and you can read stuff I write weekly on comicmix.com, about
movies.
AUSTIN: Also joining us is Nick Sondgeroth. Wait…
NICK: Hi, you can find me at Twitch, Twitter, and Youtube slash drevilbones.
AUSTIN: Ali Acampora is with us.
ALI: [quietly] Um, yeah, I’m Alicia Acampora, you can find me @ali_west on Twitter.
AUSTIN: Uh, Keith Carberry.
KEITH: Uh, hi.
AUSTIN: Coming to us from south… west of Boston.
KEITH: Uh, my name’s Keith Carberry, you can find me on Twitter, @somethingdumb, you can
find the LetsPlays that I do at runbutton.net or youtube.com/runbutton.
AUSTIN: And Jack de Quidt, whose computer hates him tonight.
JACK: Yeah, hi, I’m Jack, you can find me on, uh, Twitch and Twitter @notquitereal, or at my
game studio’s website, thetalltreesgames.co.uk.
AUSTIN: Awesome. So, in Dungeon World, there’s a thing that you can do called Love Letters,
um, which is normally a thing that you do either at a, uh, like a con game, where you kind of want to give people motivation really quick, because they just want to jump right into a single one off, one shot game, or in between big campaign sessions, um, where, like, oh there’s been some downtime, here’s a little bit of a letter about what’s happened in that time since. But I’ve written you guys up love letters for your characters, partially because I think that that’s like a really cool thing, just, like, in terms of systems stuff? But also because, in the time since we made the characters, we’ve kind of done some extra development, about the world and some of who these characters are, and I felt like this was a good way of conveying, um, some of that world information to the audience. Um, if you’re listening, audience, hi, we love you.
KEITH: Is this gonna get all James Joyce?
AUSTIN: So – no. This, these letters are, so one, there will be no, there’s nothing here you have
to, like, turn down [KEITH laughs] cause your boss is gonna walk in and you don’t want to hear
about some gross James Joyce love stuff. James Joyce wrote some dirty letters, y’all.
KEITH: He was wicked dirty.
AUSTIN: I’m gonna – I’m gonna just – yeah he was wicked dirty [laugh]. I’m gonna message you guys the stuff for you to read, out loud –
NICK: Yeah he wrote them to Frank Costanza, didn’t he? Oh wait.
AUSTIN: Yeah [laughs].
NICK: No, never mind.
AUSTIN: George Costanza -
JACK: James Joyce –
AUSTIN: George Costanza. He wrote them to George Costanza. Uh, I’m gonna send these
[cross] one by one - one by one...
NICK: [cross] No, there was that one episode where – there was that one episode where his
dad, Frank,
AUSTIN: Oh.
NICK: had a bunch of like, naughty letters written back and forth by some famous author.
ALI: Oh, yeah…
AUSTIN: Oh, that’s… I had forgotten that. So I’m gonna send these one by one, and I’d like you
guys to read these, and then go ahead and do the roll, this is also gonna be good. Read these
out loud, for everyone to hear. So Art is going to begin, as Hadrian.
ART: Oh, I’m going to begin? Uh, hold on, I have to like, look at what, I mean, I was gonna read it
so I can, I can, do this better. Uh –
AUSTIN: You don’t have to do a voice cause this is a letter to you. [ALI laughs]
ART: What?
AUSTIN: This is a letter to you, so you don’t have to do it in Hadrian’s voice. [ALI laughs]
ART: Right, but like I, I still want to like, read it like a,
AUSTIN: Sure.
ART: like a person?
KEITH: [cross] This is you – you’re admitting a weakness in cold reading.
ALI: [cross] Are we doing voices?
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: [cross] Uh, yeah. I am admitting a weakness in cold reading.
AUSTIN: [cross] That would be fair. That’s fair. That’s fair.
ART (as Hadrian): [reading love letter] Brother Hadrian, days ago you spoke to the chief of
the new halfling arrivals. You told her of the canon, that in the beginning there was the earth,
the people, and our enemies: the dark and the danger. You told her that the King-God was
mortal, but a mortal, like her, of craft and purpose. You taught her that the King-God built
weapons and armor for his friends, and taught them how to build homes, and roads, and
bridges.
She now knows the story of the sun: that one night, in exchange for his freedom, an enemy
of the King-God revealed the location of a distant source of power – a mountain of fire and
metal, which the King-God used to build our sun, and his crown.
She said she would deliver your message to her people, but only in exchange for…
[#00:05:05#]
and now I have to roll dice.
AUSTIN: You do have to roll dice.
JACK: Oh, what? [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: You want to roll plus Charisma, uh, and –
ART: That’s roll 2D6, and add my Charisma modifier, yes?
AUSTIN: Right. So in this, in this system, whenever it says roll, unless it says roll damage, you’re almost always gonna be rolling 2D6. Uh. So in the dice roller that we’re using, just plop in 2D6.
ART: Uh, 9. 9. I rolled 8 and I have a modifier of 1.
AUSTIN: What happens on a, on a 9?
ART: Uh, that’s a good question? Uh, a tem- choose two, uh, only in exchange for a symbol of
the King-God’s strength, wealth enough to relocate more of her people, some incorporation of their harvest deity into your faith.
AUSTIN: So you have to give her two of those, to confirm her support, uh, of your religion.
ART: Like right now?
AUSTIN: Yeah, right now. What are you – what are you giving her or promising her?
ART: Uh, huh. [pause] The, the first and the third, a symbol of the King-God’s strength, and some incorporation of their harvest deity into your faith. Uh, I don’t know that I have the authority to make that promise, but I’ll talk to the people. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: That’s fun! Promises get made like that all the time.
ART: Yeah!
AUSTIN: Uh, so, so, think about that going forward.
ART: Absolutely.
AUSTIN: And, we’ll keep those in mind. Next up, let’s do, uh, there’s kind of a weird chronology to
these, because that’s the sort of person I am. Let’s send one over to, over to Jack first. Or, next,
rather. [pause] Also, for record, the God-King’s name is – what, again? Samothes?
ART: Uh…
AUSTIN: Art?
ART: Good question, good question.
KEITH: Yeah.
ART: Samothes is correct.
KEITH: Mm-hm.
AUSTIN: Okay [laughs]. I’m glad you know your god’s name. When I wrote that, we didn’t – I
didn’t have Samothes. I didn’t have old Sammy’s name.
JACK: Oh, geez, okay, so. Uh, I just need to move the computer closer so I can actually read it.
AUSTIN: Also, we should note, Art, you’re playing Hadrian, the paladin, the human paladin of
Samothes, right?
ART: That’s correct.
AUSTIN: Okay. Next up is—
JACK: Okay, so, uh…
AUSTIN: —Lem King, Jack de Quidt’s orcish bard.
JACK: [pause] Right.
(as Lem): [reading Love Letter] Lem, you felt a stinging of guilt in your tusks. You’d only stolen
the violin just last night, and here you were, about to receive an extended loan from the New
Archives in order to better outfit yourself for your coming journey to Burg. Fill out the
paperwork properly, and roll +Intelligence.
So, 2D6.
AUSTIN: Mm-hm.
JACK: A 1 [clock half-chimes] and a 6, so that’s, uh… 7.
AUSTIN: At not-quite-clock. [JACK laughs] Plus your Intelligence modifier. You’re almost always
going to be adding Intelligence modifiers in this game.
JACK: Mm-hm.
AUSTIN: There’s one place where you won’t be doing that, I want to make sure you guys all did
that, actually, before we get to this result, and that is, you should be adding your total Constitution
to your current HP, or to your total HP. Make sure everyone did that.
JACK: Yep.
KEITH: Yeah.
ALI: Does the – the bonus play into that?
AUSTIN: No, it’s just the number.
ALI: Okay.
AUSTIN: So if you have [cross] 17 CON -
KEITH: [cross] Oh, it’s the whole number?
AUSTIN: The whole number, not the bonus.
KEITH: Oh, shit.
AUSTIN: That’s like the only place that happens.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: You have way more HP than you think you do. Jack, what was your result?
JACK: S… so my Intelligence modifier is actually 0, so I’ve got 7 here.
AUSTIN: Okay.
JACK: Um.
AUSTIN: That’s a success.
JACK: Uh, so, on a 7-9, you receive one of, you receive one of these. Uh. Oh, hang on.
AUSTIN: Either –[cross] you read the options.
JACK: [cross] Oh, I receive one of these items, and a few days later, the, the Archivists notice
that the violin is missing. Um.
AUSTIN: So —
JACK: I —
AUSTIN: what —
JACK: — receive – either, a shoulder sack
AUSTIN: Mm-hm.
JACK: with hidden compartment zippers, fruits from the Archival Garden, or a map of the
Northwest Quadrant. Uh, the shoulder sack gives me +2 load, the fruits give me +1 dungeon
ration, and the map gives me +1 on perilous journey rolls in the quadrant.
AUSTIN: [cross] It’s kind of like the –
JACK: [cross] I think I’m gonna take the map.
AUSTIN: Okay. So like the northwest zone of,
JACK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: this, this quadrant.
JACK: Um, are you gonna mark that down, Austin, or should I mark it down just as well?
AUSTIN: You should – you should mark it down. I will also mark it down here, but you should
mark it down for sure.
JACK: Cool.
AUSTIN: Nick, you’re next. Once I find you on Skype, here you are [ALI laughs]. [pause] I love
your name, Nick. Nick will be playing the Great Phantasmo, elfish wizard. Elven – elven? Elven
or elfish, Nick?
NICK: Elven. [cross] Elven.
AUSTIN: [cross] Elven. Okay.
NICK: I like – I like elven. [pause] Elfish is for the one – the people in the forest.
AUSTIN: Ooh, okay. [ALI laughs] I’m actually writing that down. [ALI laughs] This is – this is how I
do. Welcome to Dungeon World, Austin types some stuff, frantically.
[#00:10:00#]
NICK (as Phantasmo): [reading love letter] [character voice is exaggeratedly deep] Hm. I
appear to have a letter. What does this say? [clears throat] [ALI laughs]
Ah! My friend, the Great Phantasmo. When you heard that the Burg’s leaders needed a
citizen with knowledge of occult mysteries, you recognized the sound of opportunity. And
when they told you they needed you to investigate a mysterious tower, out on the Isle of
Eventide, you knew you were just the man for the job. The only question is what role you’d
play.
Roll +INT. My roll is a 3 and a 2.
ART: [cross] Oh that’s bad.
NICK: [cross] My INT is +2, so I roll a 7 total.
AUSTIN: Phew! Just made it.
NICK: [laughs] Uh.
(as Phantasmo): [reading love letter] You have been given the unpaid role as chief consultant, and are expected to lead the group on the island. But Captain Calhoun serves as
the expeli- expedition leader, that jerk. [JACK laughs]
AUSTIN: Great.
JACK: Does it say that?
AUSTIN: [cross] Yeah, it does.
ART: [cross] Is that jerk in the letter?
AUSTIN: It is.
NICK: It’s in the letter [laughs].
JACK: [laughs] Ah, Captain Calhoun.
AUSTIN: Ali – sorry, Hella.
ALI: Hella.
AUSTIN: Hella, human fighter.
ALI: Mm-hm.
ART: Hella the human fighter.
ALI: Oop.
AUSTIN: Right.
ALI: My cat’s outside. [ALI and AUSTIN laugh]
AUSTIN: Ah, cats are the best, which cat was it?
ALI: Uh, Yuki. Anyway.
AUSTIN: It’s – it’s a good cat name. [ALI laughs]
ALI (as Hella reading love letter): Hella, when those politicians of Burg sought a representative from the island to join their little expedition, they thought they’d get a tour guide, not a warrior. In time, they learned different. A few nights before your group was set to leave for the mysterious tower, a group of criminals stole the ship you were to take. With your blade to guide them, you – your group brought it back, and you – and you brought back souvenirs.
Roll plus Strength. Let’s see, 2D6…
AUSTIN: So this was the, this was the first time your group had worked together, you went back
to retrieve the stolen ship, so that you could use it to go to the island that Nick was just talking
about.
ALI: So I have 7, plus 2, no, that’s not, that’s 9 plus 2?
KEITH: It’s 9 plus 2.
AUSTIN: It’s 9 plus 2 [ALI laughs] it’s really fucking good.
ALI: [laughs] So… on a 10+ choose 2: the head of Brandish, the brigand king, uh, which you
took… from him as single combat; uh, the stolen food and supplies, stockpiled by the pirates; a
strange map, which points to a mysterious spot on your home island; a strange artifact from the
old days, a tube made of glass and brass, which makes, objects sec- uh, appear closer than
they are. Um. +1 on perilous journey rolls?
AUSTIN: Mm-hm.
ALI: Okay [laughs].
AUSTIN: Also, also on –
ALI: Um, a handful of gems, slipped into your bag when no one was looking. Um…
AUSTIN: So, you can choose two of those.
ALI: Okay. I guess… I’ll go for… the map?
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
ALI: And… the, oh. Um… the strange artifact?
AUSTIN: Okay. Uh, it’s like a spyglass, or a telescope, right?
ALI: Okay. Yeah.
AUSTIN: For – for us. We know that. Hella’s like, what is this weird thing, [ALI laughs] it lets me
see far. Uh, it also gives you a +1 on relevant Discerning Reality rolls, so that means like, [JACK
laughs] if you’re trying to see a thing far away, and rolling Discerning Reality, you get a +1 on
that. Whereas you don’t for, like, checking a room out. If you’re like, what was in this old room,
like, you’re not gonna pull out your s- spyglass, to [laughs].
ALI: Right.
AUSTIN: So I don’t know.
ALI: Fair enough.
AUSTIN: Alright, uh…
NICK: [cross] I really love this system –
ART: [cross] Discerning Reality is such a weird…
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
NICK: I love it.
ART: name, for that roll.
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
NICK: I don’t know. I think it’s great.
ART: I’m not saying it’s bad, I’m saying it’s super weird.
NICK: [cross] It is weird!
AUSTIN: [cross] Uh, and l-
NICK: I guess that’s probably why I love it. [laughs]
AUSTIN: Last but not least, Fero, played by Keith. Fero F- Fero Feritas? Is that your last name?
Or Veritas?
KEITH: Uh, yep that’s it, nailed it. Yep.
AUSTIN: Which one?
KEITH: Feritas, yep.
AUSTIN: Feritas, alright.
KEITH: F, yeah, yeah.
AUSTIN: Yeah yeah yeah.
KEITH: Um… {#14:37# audio drops almost completely}
AUSTIN: Uh, you in fact will not need to roll, right now.
KEITH: I will not need to roll? Aw, shit. Alright.
ALI: [gasps] What kind of love letter is that?
KEITH: I don’t know.
AUSTIN: Mm, a pretty good one.
KEITH: [quietly] A bullshit love letter. [ALI laughs]
ART: Yeah, how do people know that they’re in love if they’re not rolling dice? [laughter]
[#00:14:57#]
KEITH (as Fero): [reading love letter] Fero, while returning with a stolen ship you were
approached by an animal from the dark – from the Isle of Dusk, which includes the Island of
Eventide. It gave you a warning, and allowed you to study its essence, adding it to the pool of
animals you can become. What sort of animal was it?
Take +1 forward to Defy Danger when you use uh, when you use this and tell me what the – any
animal?
AUSTIN: Yeah, but it’s – so, so it’s from these islands, right, which are kind of craggy, rocky
islands, out in the middle of the sea, between Ali’s [cross] very large island –
JACK: [cross] Uh, we can’t hear you, Austin.
AUSTIN: Uh! What?
KEITH: I can hear you.
ALI: Yeah.
AUSTIN: [cross] Keith can – Keith can hear me.
JACK: [cross] Alright. I missed that whole bit.
KEITH: Uh.
AUSTIN: Okay. Um.
KEITH: He said that there’s craggy islands, that have,
AUSTIN: Mm-hm.
KEITH: that are kind of crammed – sorry, I think you – can you hear him now, Jack?
JACK: Yep, yes, yeah I can hear him now.
AUSTIN: Okay. Yeah, so they’re craggy islands out between this, the Burg, where you guys are
leaving from, and the big island that Ali is – calls home. Uh.
JACK: Okay.
AUSTIN: And so he has to choose one animal that he kind of communed with and added to his
list of animals that he could be, as a druid. What sort of animal was it, Keith?
KEITH: That’s pretty good. Could it be, uh, sort of like a, could it, could it be, I don’t know the, the,
uh, sort of climate of the island. Could it be a big-ish lizard?
AUSTIN: [pause] Sure. I mean, now, now I know more about the climate of the island.
KEITH: Yeah. [laughter]
AUSTIN: So like a Komodo dragon-style -
KEITH: Sort of like a Gila monster sort of thing.
AUSTIN: Okay, that - that’s how big it is? Okay. Alright! So, we’re gonna jump into this now. As
we pick up the game, you’ve already traveled a couple of days on this ship. On the way towards this island, the island of Eventide, which lies about equidistant between Burg and the big island
that Ali is from, which we still don’t have a name for [laughs], um, at some point, we’ll have to go
there. Or if, Ali, you just like have one in mind let me know, and we’ll, and we’ll, come up with it.
ALI: I’ll… think about it. I’ll let you know.
AUSTIN: Okay. That’s fine. The expedition leader is, as we discussed -
KEITH: Oh, sorry.
AUSTIN: Sure.
KEITH: Uh. Can you guys hear the drumming that my roommate’s decided to start doing?
ALI: Nah. No.
AUSTIN: Nope. That’s good. That’s good. [laughs] Woof. [Art laughs]
AUSTIN (continued): As you approach the island, the, I’m gonna say that the sun is high in the
air, and it is, it is very warm, here. This is, the islands that you’ve passed on the way here have
been kind of tropical in nature: palm trees, and giant lizards on them. But as you approach
Eventide, you see that - that it’s more cliff than beach. It’s a large island, I’d say, you know,
maybe a tenth? Maybe - maybe a twentieth of the size of Ali’s home island, which is massive,
but this is still very big. But it’s fully dominated by a large kind of sandstone tower, built at its
center. [pause] As I said before, or as Nick actually said before, Captain Calhoun is technically
the expedition leader here. He is a boisterous man who has spent his whole life on the sea, and
doesn’t really care much for the specific adventure so much as he does having something to do.
The… leadership, the government of the Burg, has sent you here along with, uh, you know, Ali,
who is from this island, a representative of the New Archives, Lem King, and, and, a
representative of the Church of Samothes, Hadrian, to investigate this strange tower, because
they think that it might be the cause of waves that have been crashing harder and harder against
the ports in the - in both the Burg and on the big island. You’re approaching it when you realize
that, they were right. You know this because instead of waves crashing in on the island alone,
they also seem to be emanating outwards from it. And Calhoun has decided that this is about as
close as he wants to bring this ship, for fear of damaging it on the crags. Uh… what do you do?
[pause]
ART: [sighs]
JACK: So we gotta make a beach landing?
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
JACK: It’s like, that’s our first move, is somehow getting the hell onto this island I guess.
AUSTIN: Sure.
JACK: Since we’re sort of, wandering around in the surf. Um.
ART: [concerned] That’s too dangerous, like we’re - we’re wearing big suits of metal. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: [cross] There’s some, um -
ART: [cross] Or some of us are.
ALI: [cross] Um, how -
AUSTIN: [amused] Some of you are. [pause] Ali, were you about to - or, Hella, were you about to ask a question?
ALI (as Hella): How far away are we?
AUSTIN: Uh! Say… a hundred yards. By a smaller boat, it would take you another ten minutes maybe? You could row your way there.
KEITH: Do we have a smaller boat to row our way there?
AUSTIN: [pause] Yeah, let’s say there are two small boats.
[#00:20:00#]
KEITH: Should -
AUSTIN: Each could hold five people.
KEITH: Um. Do you think that taking smaller boats is a good idea… [pause]
JACK: There are waves coming outwards from the island [laughs].
KEITH: If - well, what I’m saying, yeah, that’s what I’m saying, like, dude is worried about his
whole ship.
AUSTIN: Mm-hm. Um. Are you trying to decide if you think that that’s the case?
KEITH: If I think it’s the case that, that
AUSTIN: [cross] That like -
KEITH: [cross] we would be damaged by taking these boats?
AUSTIN: Yeah.
KEITH: Yeah, yeah, I am.
AUSTIN: Let’s, let’s say that that’s, that sounds like Discerning Realities to me.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: [pause] That’s like...
KEITH: [cross] Is that a roll, plus what?
AUSTIN: [cross] Mm… That’s plus Wisdom. That’s in your basic moves.
ART: Oh, plus Wisdom.
KEITH: Oh okay, yeah yeah yeah.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
KEITH: Okay, so it’s not adding any sort of thing. Okay.
ART: Plus Wisdom.
AUSTIN: It’s just plus Wisdom.
KEITH: Oh, plus Wisdom? Okay, my -
ART: [cross] Plus WIS.
AUSTIN: [cross] Plus WIS.
KEITH: Plus WIS...
AUSTIN: Plus WIS, the modifier.
KEITH: Uh…
ART: Not Wisdom the whole number.
KEITH: [cross] My WIS…
AUSTIN: [cross] Right. Let’s clear - [ALI laughs] I’m gonna clear the dice here so we can see.
KEITH: Okay. Do you want me to reroll, then? [cross] Or - I just rolled.
AUSTIN: [cross] Oh, did you just roll? Oh I see them! I see them.
KEITH: Yeah yeah yeah.
AUSTIN: [cross] You have a 5 and a 2.
KEITH: [cross] Uh, my - Yeah, my WIS is +2, and that’s a 7, so I got a 9.
AUSTIN: You know that the… you think that the smaller boats will actually have a, uh, an easier,
will be rocked back and forth more, but they’ll be...
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Better able to navigate, between the rocks that are jutting up from… the area
approaching the landing beach?
KEITH: Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
AUSTIN: So, you’ll, you’ll probably be a little bit m- more safe, in that regard.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: But that means you’ll take a +1 forward when acting on that knowledge.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: Which means that when it’s time to actually do that… [pause, ALI laughs] So, so what
do you do, now that you guys know that?
ART: [cross] Uh, who - we should divide -
JACK: [cross] Do any of our mages -
ART: Oh, sorry. Go - who -
JACK (as Lem): Do any of our mages have any sort of, like, [sighs] weather control capacity
or - or - water control capacity?
I don’t know your movesets.
AUSTIN: Are you asking that to - to the Great Phantasmo?
JACK: To the Great Phantas- yeah, uh…
AUSTIN: Cause he is your, your mage type here, let’s say [laughs].
JACK: Does, does Hadrian not have some spells, either? Or…
AUSTIN: Oh, right, he does have some spells, but I wasn’t counting him as a mage type, I guess, which is [JACK laughs].
KEITH (as Fero): Oh, I don’t think, yeah, I don’t think Tazzy has anything for, for us here.
JACK (as Lem): No?
NICK (as Phantasmo): [quietly] No.
ALI: Tazzy [laughs].
KEITH: Um, okay. [AUSTIN laughs] Nick? [pause] I don’t know if Nick can hear us.
AUSTIN: Nick? Oh, is Nick gone?
NICK: No, I can - yeah, [cross] I can hear you, sorry.
KEITH: [cross] Oh, okay.
AUSTIN: [cross] Okay, okay.
JACK: Is Nick declining to answer the question?
AUSTIN: [cross] Is the Phantasmo -
NICK: [cross] I’m - no, I was looking through my sheets, and, and [pause] trying to - yeah.
AUSTIN: Yeah, [cross] no, I got you.
NICK: [cross] So, I’m trying to - I’m processing.
KEITH (as Fero): I’m - I’m thinking that what we should do, I think that we should all take off our heavy armor stuff, and then go across in the boats. [cross] ‘Cause if -
ART (as Hadrian): [cross] Nope.
KEITH (as Fero): [incredulously] No? [JACK laughs]
ART (as Hadrian): No.
KEITH (as Fero): No? Listen -
ART: That’s -
KEITH: [cross] If we -
ART: [cross] I mean, only, only if you think there’s nothing dangerous on that island.
KEITH (as Fero): I don’t think there’s nothing dangerous on the boat, and I’m saying if the ship falls over, I don’t want to be the one wearing metal armor.
AUSTIN: If people are - there we go.
ART (as Hadrian): Do - do you have metal armor?
KEITH (as Fero): No, I have hide armor, I’m gonna keep it on.
ART (as Hadrian): Well then —
[loud laughter]
Uh, well, I have an idea for me.
KEITH: Alright, what’s up.
ART: Which is that I could, I could dedicate this as my quest? And one of the things I could make
myself, once I have a quest, I can choose two boons, one of which is invulnerability to blank? So
I think I can give myself invulnerability to drowning. [ALI laughs]
JACK: Wait -
AUSTIN: [cross] Uh, ha -
KEITH: [cross] I think a quest is a more broad…
AUSTIN: Well yeah. [laughter]
JACK: I love the fact that [cross] your quest is, get off a boat. [laughter]
KEITH: [cross] I don’t think… [cross] Yeah [laughs] yeah. This is some -
ART: [cross] No! I’m getting myself to this larger quest.
KEITH: This is some - this is some level one WOW bullshit quest. [ALI laughs] Like, get across a
thing in a boat! Like, that’s not a…
AUSTIN: [skeptical] Just tell me what the quest is. What’s your quest, Art? [Nick laughs]
ART: Uh, that brings me to an important follow-up question, what’s on this island? [laughs] [cross]
What are we doing here?
KEITH: [cross] On the island…
JACK: [cross] It’s the island with a massive tower.
KEITH: is a gigantic tower.
AUSTIN: Right.
KEITH: That is causing gigantic waves to be crashing into the shoreline, where people don’t want
waves to be crashing.
ART: Okay.
KEITH: And we’ve discovered that yeah, this tower’s for real, definitely doing that.
ART: So one of my quest options is discover the truth of blank. So my, my divine quest, is to
discover the truth of this tower. [pause] [cross] And then I can choose -
JACK: [cross] What’s your motiv- okay.
ART: up to two things, that, like, an unwavering sense of direction,
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
ART: invulnerability to blank,
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: a mark of divine authority, senses that pierce lies, a voice that transcends language, and
freedom from hunger, thirst, and sleep. I can choose two of those things. [pause]
JACK: [cross] Uh - right, but -
ART: [cross] Like invulnerability to drowning -
JACK: But, how low does that go, though, cause it’s like, if you walk into a room, if you don’t have
a quest at the time,
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
JACK: you walk into a room with twenty goblins, [ALI laughs] could you just make your quest no
more goblins?
AUSTIN: [cross] Well no I think that’s what - [laughter]
JACK: [cross] Invulnerability to goblins [laughs]?
AUSTIN: I - let’s, we can broaden this, and say discover the truth of the threat against the Burg?
And suddenly that sounds bigger than, [cross] than, this tower?
ART: [cross] Well then - then I’m wasting, my invulnerability. By putting it for drowning.
AUSTIN: But - well no, I’m, no I’m gonna s- hm. You are, [cross] but I - I think the rest [ALI laughs]
NICK: [cross] I mean how does that help the rest of us anyways?
AUSTIN: It doesn’t.
[#00:25:00#]
KEITH: It doesn’t.
AUSTIN: He just wants it for him, so that -
KEITH: [cross] He just said -
AUSTIN: [cross] if he falls in the ocean, he won’t drown.
KEITH: Yeah.
ART: Woah woah woah.
KEITH: [cross] This is all a ruse, in order to -
ART (as Hadrian): [cross] But if I can’t drown, I think it opens up a lot of options here, right?
Like, I have the heaviest armor, so I’m the biggest encumbrance. If you don’t have to deal
with me, I think you could get one person with armor onto shore. [pause] Even if it’s just like,
dumping Hella in a boat by herself [laughter],
KEITH (as Fero): [cross] Ooh.
ART (as Hadrian: [cross] so she doesn’t sink.
ALI (as Hella): [cross] I can leave my shield behind.
AUSTIN: [pause] You don’t have to leave anything behind, guys. [cross] You’ll be - you’ll -
KEITH (as Fero): [cross] Yeah, no no no. This isn’t - this isn’t to weigh down the boat, this is
just so that if we fall, we don’t sink, and our armor sinks.
JACK: How buoyant are you, Art?
ART: [pause] What’s that?
ALI: Wait, so we’re tak-
JACK: How buoyant are you?
ART: Not.
KEITH (as Fero): As soon as we land on the island, we can put our armor back on, [cross] it’ll be fine.
AUSTIN: [cross] This is amazing.
ALI (as Hella): [laughs] [confused] We’re taking our armor with us?
KEITH (as Fero): Yeah!
AUSTIN: [incredulously] You should probably take your armor with you. [cross] You’re - [ALI laughs]
KEITH (as Fero): [cross] It’s not because - it’s not because we’ll sink, it’s because if we fall, we’ll sink.
ALI (as Hella): [pause] Okay.
KEITH (as Fero): Yeah.
ART (as Hadrian): That doesn’t sound like what my [ALI laughs]. That doesn’t sound like what - what god would let happen to me here.
KEITH (as Fero): [scoffs] Lem, can you help me out here? [laughter]
ART (as Hadrian): [cross] No no, I - I agree with you, I, I honestly think we should split up -
the, uh, weight.
JACK (as Lem): [cross] I’m not taking off my armor. But I was just about to suggest - I was just about to suggest… is there any chance I could m- if - if Hadrian is invulnerable to drowning, is there any chance I could kind of like, ride him to the shore? [laughter]
ART: [cross] I’m not a mare —
AUSTIN: [cross] Um, no, because, so here’s the thing, he’s invulnerable to drowning, not invulnerable to like, the tides [ALI laughs]. Do you know what I mean?
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Sinking to the bottom of the ocean, [cross] and then being swept away -
KEITH: [cross] And - and also, it’s not invulnerable to not being buoyant, like he’s still gonna sink.
AUSTIN: Right. [cross] In his -
ART: [cross] And then walk! It’s a hundred yards! [ALI laughs] I can walk a hundred yards.
AUSTIN: Not in these - you can tell with your vision, not in these waves.
ART: Austin, waves don’t go all the way to the bottom, [cross] come on.
KEITH: [cross] You should [laughs] I think you should save your quest -
AUSTIN: They do here.
KEITH: for when we’re in danger. [laughter] [cross] And not just -
AUSTIN: [cross] Oh, no, he shouldn’t, he shouldn’t. No, he absolutely shouldn’t, [cross] like there
shouldn’t be a -
ART: [cross] No, I need to dedicate myself to something, ‘cause it doesn’t, it’s not instant.
AUSTIN: Yes.
ART: [cross] Like I can’t walk into a room with goblins, be like -
AUSTIN: [cross] Right. He should - we’re gonna say that -
ART: I’m immune to goblins, like [cross]that’s not how it works.
AUSTIN: [cross] Right. He should’ve - I thought he’d done this before. [ALI laughs] This is on me
for not asking hey, Art, did you make sure at this, at character creation to dedicate yourself to a quest. Like, you should’ve made this before you left shore. Let’s say you did that.
ART: Alright.
NICK: I keep thinking about like, one day, Hadrian’s really hungry.
AUSTIN: Right.
NICK: And is like [exaggerated voice] “It is my holy quest to make the best sandwich ever!”
[laughter]
AUSTIN: [while laughing] But then he takes as one of his abilities that he can’t die from hunger!
[laughter]
JACK (as Lem): Uh, okay, so, yeah. So, Fero, your strat would be, everybody takes their armor off, and we, I don’t know what, swim? We make some attempt against the tides?
ART (as Hadrian): [cross] No, we should definitely take boats.
AUSTIN: [cross] I think he was just saying - I think he was just saying take off the armor, split up into two boats, and you don’t have armor on so if you do tip over, you don’t have that armor to drag you down into the waves. [pause] That’s all he was saying.
JACK: I could follow that plan.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Okay.
JACK: Yeah I could follow that plan. Uh, I think I, I think I’m… yeah I’m, cross] I don’t know what I
was...
KEITH: [cross] I can’t believe how immediately controversial this was [ALI laughs].
AUSTIN: [amused] Hadrian, declare a quest.
ART (as Hadrian): Uh, my quest, discover the truth of the threat to the Burg?
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART (as Hadrian): The two boons I would like are senses that pierce lies?
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART (as Hadrian): And a voice that transcends language.
AUSTIN: Sounds good. [cross] What is your - oh, hm. Yeah.
ART: [cross] Are you going to tell me what - you have to tell me what vow I need.
AUSTIN: Um.
ART: I want you to know, I took some of the weaker boons.
AUSTIN: You… you are… [ALI laughs] You did. You did. But. Uhh. [pause] Let’s say - hm. [pause] Piety.
ART: Okay.
AUSTIN: To - to continue this, at some point today, you will still need to perform church services.
[JACK laughs]
ART: [incredulously] Like in a church?
KEITH: Boy.
AUSTIN: No.
ART: Alright.
AUSTIN: Like - like, you know, you’ll have to go through your daily prayer, you’ll have to, to read from your little book of prayers, etcetera. Or else - or else, maybe Samothes won’t be so pleased.
KEITH: Or else.
ART: [intimidated] Right. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: So, you’re onto boats.
KEITH: Alright, we’re on the boats.
AUSTIN: [cross] Is that - is everyone in agreement with this?
ART: [cross] Boats, boats, boats.
ALI: Yeah.
KEITH: Yeah, we’re on - we’re all in agreement. I -
AUSTIN: Nick?
KEITH: As, as a [cross] show of solidarity,
AUSTIN: [cross] Great Phantasmo?
KEITH: Even though I have, uh…
JACK: Oh! Uh.
KEITH: Weaker armor, I took off my armor.
AUSTIN: Okay. [ALI laughs]
KEITH: Solidarity.
AUSTIN: Great.
ALI (as Hella): Wait, how are we splitting up the boats? [pause] ‘Cause we’re doing that, right?
JACK (as Lem): Um.
KEITH (as Fero): Just make sure that all the armor’s not on the same boat.
ALI (as Hella): Right.
KEITH (as Fero): Yeah.
ALI (as Hella): Well no, but by people.
KEITH (as Fero): Um.
ART (as Hadrian): I think we should do it - there’s a very logical way to do it where you
basically arrange people by weight [ALI laughs], and then split them? Like, the, the heaviest goes to the lightest. And then…
KEITH (as Fero): The two middles.
ART (as Hadrian): The next - the next, the two middles. And then there’s a fifth person. [pause] You know.
AUSTIN: The halfling is the - is the fifth person. Right?
ART: Sure.
KEITH: Hi. That’s me.
ALI (as Hella): So I’m taking… Lem and Fero?
KEITH (as Fero): Mmhm.
AUSTIN: Sure.
ALI (as Hella): Okay. That’s fine.
AUSTIN: Meanwhile the two - meanwhile the, the, Great Phantasmo and Hadrian are in the other ones. Do you guys want to do this as two separate rolls, or would you like to do it as one leader? Like are you guys… is there someone leading this, is the question.
JACK (as Lem): I kinda feel Hadrian’s leading it.
ART (as Hadrian, incredulously): [pause] Based — [cross] what? [ALI laughs]
KEITH (as Fero): [cross] Okay.
JACK (as Lem): I feel like - well because - [cross] cause you made such a, you made such a
direct…
ART (as Hadrian): [cross] All right. Don’t hate me.
AUSTIN: Who’s leading the direct - the first boat, is what I’m saying?
[#00:30:01#]
ART: Oh.
JACK: Oh.
KEITH: Uh, it was my idea, I can lead it. I have +1 forward for this anyway.
AUSTIN: Oh, is this the thing that you were gonna use it for?
KEITH: No, you gave me a second forward for Discerning that -
AUSTIN: Oh, you do.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Yes, yes yeah. So yeah, let’s have, let’s have Keith make the roll here.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: This is gonna be a Defy Danger… hm. What - what - How’s -
KEITH: It seems like by enduring, to me.
AUSTIN: [pause] No, I wouldn’t say this is enduring. [cross] Enduring would be -
ART: [cross] I think it’s powering through, right? We’re like, rowing.
AUSTIN: [pause] Yeah. I think it’s powering through.
ART: Pushing on them oars.
KEITH: Okay, sure.
AUSTIN: You’re pushing through the oars, yeah.
KEITH: So I’ve got, um… looking at a, woof! Alright. That is a, uh…
AUSTIN: You just roll?
KEITH: [JACK laughs] A 6.
AUSTIN: [pause] Uh, that’s.
KEITH: I rolled a 3 and a 1.
AUSTIN: Good job.
KEITH: [cross] [sarcastically] Thank you.
ALI: [cross] That’s all right…
AUSTIN: [cross] Does anybody - who’s, who’s taking that second boat?
ART: The second boat is me and Phantasmo.
ALI: [cross] Yeah.
NICK: [cross] Yeah.
AUSTIN: Do you or Phantasmo want to use the, the Aid/Hinder move? To aid to Keith’s roll?
[pause] Aid or Interfere.
ART: Su- uh, absolutely, yes.
AUSTIN: Uh… [cross] Actually, does it not matter? It won’t matter.
NICK: [cross] 5. Uh.
AUSTIN: Because the highest you can get is a +1, which’ll mean he’ll still be at a 6. [laughter]
KEITH: [cross] No, I’ll be at a 7.
NICK: [cross] Oh.
KEITH: I’m, I have - [cross] I have 6 now.
ART: [cross] No he’ll be at a 7, yeah.
KEITH: Yeah.
[cross] I have 6 now. Yeah, I have +2.
AUSTIN: [cross] Oh, you have 6 now? Okay! Well, then, yeah! This is perfect. Who - who would like to help him and how? How would you - you see Keith is, is, you know, he’s rowing, he’s ordering the other people on his, on his little canoe boat, thing, to row? Uh…
KEITH: Oh, I feel like such a dope. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: And -
ART: Wait, I don’t - I don’t have a bond with him, I don’t know that I can.
AUSTIN: No, you can, you just don’t roll any plus, um. [cross] Like there’s a +2 roll.
ART: [cross] So you’re saying you - okay.
KEITH: Nick has a bond with me.
AUSTIN: You could - but Nick does. So, so...
ART: Yeah.
AUSTIN: The Great Phantasmo, how do you want to help Fero, whose ship is, you see it, it’s going off course. It’s going towards a, there’s like a, rock sticking up from under the, under the waves, that the Great Fer- [sheepishly] or that the Great Fero, geez. That Fero [NICK laughs] has not seen.
KEITH: [laughing] I do like the Great Fero. [laughter] I do like that - that - no one said it! No one
said it before. [laughing loudly] I am the Great Fero!
AUSTIN: [JACK laughs] Great.
NICK: Maybe Fero calls himself that because [laughing] he looks up to Phantasmo so much,
because - [laughter]
AUSTIN: Right, right. [laughter] [energetically] It’s you and me, bud, the Great Phantasmo and the Great Fero!
KEITH: [laughing] I mean, [cross] I can transform
NICK: [cross] Phantasmo’s like —
KEITH: — into like a bunch of different animals. [Nick laughs]
AUSTIN: That’s true.
NICK (as Phantasmo): You may not call yourself Great until you have studied under the true masters!
AUSTIN: [laughs] So how are you gonna - Phantasmo, how are you gonna try to Aid? Fero here.
NICK: Um, I’m gonna use, um… I’m gonna use a… presti- prestidigitation cantrip?
AUSTIN: Oh, you - so let’s not even, don’t so much tell me what spell you’re gonna use, like what are you - what’s your goal, like how are you -
NICK: [cross] Oh, well, I mean -
AUSTIN: [cross] In the film of this, what happens?
NICK: Yeah, no, I, I, the… I want to, uh, create, a, a picture of a rock, in the air in front of him,
AUSTIN: Ooh.
NICK: with an arrow pointing down.
AUSTIN: That’s pretty - that’s pretty great. Yeah, let’s - [ALI laughs loudly] you just, you do that, let’s say.
NICK: Okay.
AUSTIN: That’s pretty good. Uh, Fero?
KEITH: Yeah?
AUSTIN: Take that +1.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: Right before you’re going to crash into this rock, you see in front of you a giant floating rock image, and are able to steer this boat away. Let’s, uh, Great Phantasmo’s able to do things like that on the way in to the shoreline,
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: basically giving you a landing strip for both of the ships [laughs].
KEITH: Great.
AUSTIN: You’ve invented the landing strip, [Nick laughs] in, in, this weird world, and you both come ashore, successfully. Um. The shore is… I don’t want to get us on this fucking shore, guys. This is where I’m at. Uh. This is a, a really, the, the, sand is kind of grey, old, ashy. But it’s hot to the touch, it’s absorbed a lot of heat. And, as you really land, you look up and you can see that the tower is way more imposing than you thought it was. It’s massive. A whole, you realize a whole bunch of people could be living here, this isn’t just like a lighthouse. This is… a, a, an outpost, almost, in size, you know? The beach leads up a little bit, and it’s rocky and craggy, but you think you can discern a path up towards the higher plateau where the tower is. What do you do?
KEITH: Uh, I want to look around and see if there’s any wildlife around?
AUSTIN: [pause] Okay.
KEITH: Like, what kind of wildlife there would be?
AUSTIN: There are a bunch of bird-like, they’re like birds up at the top of the, of the tower. But further down, you don’t see much.
[#00:35:02#]
KEITH: Okay. Um. Would it be possible to get, uh, I want to try, I want to try getting one of the
bird’s attention without making too much noise.
AUSTIN: Sure.
KEITH: Try to call it to me.
AUSTIN: How - how you getting its attention?
KEITH: Um, I maybe try, like a, like hand gestures? Uh, I maybe throw a rock and do like a sort of
a, a whisper at them.
AUSTIN: Okay.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Um. You hear them cawing at you.
AUSTIN (as Birds): Leave! Leave! [pause] Leave! Leave!
AUSTIN: And they’re getting closer, and these are big birds. You guys know what - what uh,
cormorants are?
JACK: [cross] Yeah.
ART: [cross] Sure.
KEITH: No, I don’t know cormorants.
ALI: [cross] Yeah.
JACK: [cross] Oh my god.
AUSTIN: [quietly] Just a quick pic to a cormorant.
KEITH: Well, Jack didn’t know cardinals, so. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: Um, they’re like this, but they have people faces.
JACK: [pause] Oh, jesus!
AUSTIN: Their big, huge, black wings, are, are blocking the sunlight. A huge shadow crosses over you as three to five of them come swooping down, quickly, towards you.
(as Birds): Leave, leave!
They call out to, to - and Fero can understand that - and… so can, so can, uh, Hadrian, because he has that blessing.
KEITH: Mmhm.
AUSTIN: You both —
ART: [cross] I just -
AUSTIN: [cross] Everyone else just hears them cawing out. They sound, they sound, upset.
KEITH: Can I communicate what they’re saying to everyone else real quick?
AUSTIN: Sure.
KEITH (as Fero): Yo, they’re saying that we gotta get out of here. [laughter] And they’ve got people faces! [louder laughter] Like.
AUSTIN: Their people faces are, um, wrinkled, and weathered. They are, they are definitely…
JACK: [cross] How…
AUSTIN: [cross] They are birds, beings who live outside, and have, you know, taken the full effects of the sun. From the wrinkling on their faces.
KEITH: Does it look like they’re attacking us?
AUSTIN: They’re closing distance rapidly.
ART: Oh, I wish we’d put on our armor first. [ALI laughs] [cross] I’m gonna start putting on armor.
AUSTIN (as Birds): [cross] Ours! Ours! Ours!
JACK: How - how utilitarian is this tower? Is it, is it kind of monolithic, or is it detailed in any regard?
AUSTIN: It’s - it’s monolithic in the sense that it seems built to a design to communicate power. But! It has windows, and it has, um, and it, you know, it’s clear that it’s a lived in tower, it’s not just an obelisk in the middle of the ocean.
JACK: Oh…
AUSTIN: But it - but it has design elements, there are little engravings on it, you can tell even from here. Or big engravings on it, that you can see from here, embellishments. They’re closing quickly, they will be in striking distance, [clock chimes] momentarily [ALI laughs]. What do you do?
NICK: [pause] [cross] One of them sounds like a clock.
KEITH: [cross] Um.
ART: Um. So, so, so, getting armored is not an option?
AUSTIN: I don’t think it’s an option.
ART: Oh.
AUSTIN: Or you can do it, but, but they will be acting as you’re doing that.
ART: Alright, I guess I, I ready, I ready my weapon, I, I, I take my, my halberd out and I, you know, kind of brace for a charge.
KEITH: Um.
AUSTIN: What about the rest of you? What are you doing?
KEITH: I’m going to… [pause] I’m gonna turn into a, a, a big eagle.
AUSTIN: Okay. So Fero lifts off into the air, and as a big eagle, as they come swarm- like,
swooping down at the rest of you.
KEITH: Mmhm.
AUSTIN: At the moment, they seem to be ignoring Fero. Um, Ali - sorry, Hella, Great Phantasmo, and Lem, what are, what are you guys doing?
JACK: Um, would I have time to make a little performance?
AUSTIN: You could take - yeah, you could begin it.
JACK: Part of Arcane Art? Alright so I’m gonna just like shake the, the, my violin case free of
seawater. [cross] It’s… okay, it’s —
AUSTIN: [cross] No one has seen him do this before. Except to play, right? This is - I want to make sure that we have the color of this. This is a thing that we talked about off of recording. No one’s seen him do anything [amused] interesting with his violin, except play a few [cross] good tunes, right?
JACK: [cross] Oi! [laughing] That - that doesn’t give credit to my tunes! [laughter] You know -
AUSTIN: No, they’re very good, they’re very good tunes!
KEITH: Oh, I want to say that I got a - for Shapeshifter I have a hold 2.
AUSTIN: [pause] Okay.
JACK: Oh a - a hold 2, what does that do?
KEITH: That means that I can, I can stay in the Shapeshifter form for as long as I want, but after
my second move, I, I revert back into my,
JACK: [cross] Okay.
KEITH: [cross] my uh, halfling form.
JACK: Okay.
AUSTIN: Right.
JACK: So, um, so I kind of like, shake the violin out of this oil cloth that it’s been in
AUSTIN: [cross] Mm.
JACK: [cross] to protect it from, from rain and, and water damage and everything. Um. And, and I start playing music, that sounds very, very peculiar. Um. And you can’t quite tell whether or not it is reflective of the water, or of the angles of the tower,
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
JACK: or of the feel of the sand underneath your, your boots, but it’s really, really strange. Um, and, in my performance, which isn’t necessarily particularly musical, it’s gonna give +1D4 forward to damage. And I get to choose an ally for that.
[#00:40:02#]
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
JACK: Um. And I’m gonna pick Hadrian.
AUSTIN: Okay. So, Hadrian, you feel stirred at the sound of that, which is good, because the birds are on you. Three of them, now, closing in on your halberd.
KEITH: How many birds did you say there were?
AUSTIN: There are five total.
KEITH: Five total? Okay.
AUSTIN: Two of - let’s say two of them are still up at the top, the other three are the ones that
have closed down, now.
KEITH: Okay.
ART: Uh, can I, can I make this momentary, uh, prayer for guidance? And ask what here is Evil? I want to figure out if these are just spooked birds, or if this is malicious intent? Or Evil? Evil?
AUSTIN: Yeah. So they close down on you, but because you have a halberd, they’re kind of at
distance, still? They’re kind of like, flapping around you? And you can tell that these are not Evil birds. These are, these are bird people, these are like… cormorants who are defending this place because it’s theirs, and you’re here now. Not Evil.
ART: Okay.
AUSTIN: Oh, actually! You do know that there’s someone Evil nearby. It’s Hella. [laughter] But other than that.
JACK: [laughing] That’s the equivalent of like your, your, your fillings, or your gold teeth setting off [cross] the metal detector.
AUSTIN: [cross] Yeah - yeah - something! Over here! What - what’s happening? But.
ALI: [laughing] Yes - we’re good friends, it’s fine.
NICK: [cross] Wait, did we -
ALI: [cross] We hang out.
NICK: Did we decide that I was Neutral? I totally forget.
AUSTIN: We decided that you were Lawful. And that your goal was to get… do you want me to
read back what your alignment was, Nick?
NICK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Okay, your alignment, as written, is… [pause] Where’d it go. Here it, here it is. Gain respect through power.
NICK: [pause] Okay.
JACK: Huh.
AUSTIN: So, these birds are now in striking distance, on Hadrian, what are people doing?
KEITH: Um, as -
AUSTIN: You’re still, you’re still transforming at this point, Keith,
KEITH: [cross] I’m still transforming?
AUSTIN: [cross] Let’s say, you’re still like - yeah, you’ve flown up past them, kind of.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: In this like, big jump. I wanna kind of, [cross] I want to know what Hella and -
KEITH: [cross] Oh, so they haven’t noticed that I’m a giant eagle yet? [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: Uh, they’re not focused on you at this point, they’re focused at the guy who’s waving a big sharp thing at them.
KEITH: Yeah, that’s - yeah, that’s cool, Art, way to [cross] wave sharp -
ALI: [cross] But, I mean, I guess I’m also preparing to attack, though.
AUSTIN: Okay. So you - I mean, are you attacking? Or are you…
ALI: [hesitantly] No.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ALI: Cause, I mean, that’s what Hadrian is also doing, just kind of pulling his sword out, right?
AUSTIN: He’s, okay, so, well, he has a big halberd, which is like
ART: [cross] Yeah, it’s a, it’s a…
AUSTIN: [cross] a big spear thing?
ALI: Okay.
AUSTIN: So he’s able to like, keep them at distance
KEITH: [cross] He’s got a stick with a knife fight here.
AUSTIN: [cross] above him. He’s gonna - yeah, he’s a stick with a knife, it’s a very nice knife but it’s a knife. [NICK laughs] Whereas you have a sword out. What’s your sword look like, by the way?
ALI: Um, my sword is… ornate?
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
ALI: And then it’s well-crafted and sharp.
AUSTIN: So what, what sort of ornate, like what sort of embellishments are on it?
ALI: Um. [pause]
AUSTIN: And like what color is the sword? Like, is it a silvery, like steel, chrome thing? Or is it
like, reddish bronze, is it…
ALI: Um, I would say that the blade itself is just kind of like a steel…
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
ALI: Kind of standard plate, but that has, like, engravings in it?
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
ALI: And then the uh, the ornateness really comes from the, the hilt?
AUSTIN: Okay. Let’s…
ART: [cross] Okay - oh.
AUSTIN: [cross] What’s on the hilt? What’s on the hilt? Sorry, I just want to get a picture
of this thing.
ALI: [hesitantly] I… don’t know? [laughs] Um, I would say that the, the hilt is like a bronze, but like
a shiny bronze? [cross] With, like, jewels, in it?
AUSTIN: [cross] Okay. Okay. Cool.
What color are the jewels?
ALI: [cross] Uh…red?
AUSTIN: [cross] This is what - this sword is a - for the people listening [ALI laughs] Ali’s fighter have like, has like a really cool sword, and I want to make sure we have a really good picture of it in our heads.
ALI: Okay.
AUSTIN: Okay. Red jewels, and this bronze, engraved hilt.
ALI: Yes.
AUSTIN: Nice sea of steel, bright, shiny, metal blade.
ALI: Yeah. Yeah. It’s been taken care of, [cross] this blade.
AUSTIN: [cross] So yeah.
ART: Alright. So I’m gonna make like a big sweeping motion, but like not,
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
ART: not in a - I’m not trying to hit anything.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: This is like, the, the warning shot, of, of swinging a polearm in the air?
AUSTIN: Huh. Are you… Parleying with them, in a sense?
ART: I - I will be. I’ll be using, I will be using my voice that transcends language.
AUSTIN: Okay. What are you saying?
KEITH: [laughing] It sounds so fucking pompous when you say it. [laughter]
ART: Fuckin get used to it. We, we have not yet begun to be pompous. Um. I don’t know why I
referred to myself in the th- third - in the second person - first person plural? I don’t know.
AUSTIN: [amused] First person plural, yeah.
ART: Uh. So I swing in the air, and say like,
(as Hadrian): Back away, we - we’re not here to hurt you.
AUSTIN: [pause] Okay. Go ahead and roll Parley, [cross] which is plus,
ART: [cross] In whatever…
AUSTIN: plus Charisma. [cross] It’s in your own -
ART: [cross] Hey, I have that.
AUSTIN: It’s in your voice, but they, your voice transcends… language.
ART: Right, they understand - they’re hearing it in Bird, or whatever.
AUSTIN: Right.
KEITH: Mm.
JACK: [laughing] Bird.
AUSTIN: Keith, that’s a weird feeling for you. You hear it in both.
KEITH: Okay. [laughs] Whoa.
[#00:45:00#]
ART: Uh, that’s a… s… I rolled a 7, hold on, I’m all over the place with where my numbers are.
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
ART: I should like write them down separately from the character sheet.
AUSTIN: [laughing] Sure.
ART: So it’s, it’s a [pause] it’s an 8.
AUSTIN: Okay, so a 7-9, um. You’re asking, them, to back off, basically?
ART: Yeah.
AUSTIN: And your leverage in this case is violence, right, like you’re threatening them.
ART: [hesitantly] Right.
AUSTIN: So, what’s the concrete assurance that you’ll hurt them, if they don’t back off?
ART: Uh. [laughs] Sorry. Uh. [laughing] I’ll hurt one of my allies, that’ll show them.
AUSTIN: No - [laughs] That’s not -
ART: [laughing] How I’m capable of hurting things. Uh. No, I finish the, the maneuver by like
striking, the, the beach very hard.
AUSTIN: Okay. Um…
ART: Beach? We decided this is a beach?
AUSTIN: Yeah, it’s a beach. It’s an ashy beach.
JACK: I thought - sorry, I thought Parley was like, if you succeed, they ask you for something and
do it if you make them a promise, and then on 7-9 they need concrete assurance of that promise?
AUSTIN: Right. His concrete assurance of that promise is - his promise is I’ll fucking kill you. And
his, his concrete assurance is [cross] this maneuver that shows —
JACK: [cross] Oh so it’s - right.
AUSTIN: — right, I mean it, I’m not kidding.
ART: [cross] I know how to use this pointy thing.
JACK: [cross] So - so it’s not Parley, it’s a threat?
AUSTIN: Right, I know how to use it, yeah. I could, you know, he could have also said like, I’ll pay
you! And then given them a coin. Do you know what I mean?
JACK: Okay.
AUSTIN: Like, there’s, it’s a very flexible move, it’s about intimidation, it’s also about, um, you
know, coercion, it’s also about convincing someone… nicely. So it’s a very broad move.
JACK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: They are, they are, convinced. And start to fly back up a bit. They pass by Keith, who they are very confused by, by, by Fero, and are kind of hovering around, around him.
(as Birds): Friend? Friend?
KEITH (as Fero): Yeah, yeah, no, friend, for sure.
AUSTIN (as Birds): Ah!
And they like, kind of gesture for you to move back up with them.
KEITH: Yeah, I definitely go with them.
AUSTIN: Okay! Fero’s gone [laughter]. What do the rest of you do while Fero’s flying up to the
top of this tower?
ART: Put armor on.
AUSTIN: Good call.
JACK: Yep.
AUSTIN: Everybody’s armored up, everyone has their stuff off the boats. Up on, up on the roof,
Fero, you see that they are picking away at a corpse. It’s a small corpse. Wider than yours. Your body. Wider than your body not wider than your, your halfling corpse [KEITH laughs]. Wider than, than, than what your halfling body is, but about the same height.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: [cross] And it’s old -
KEITH: [cross] Does it -
AUSTIN: and it smells bad.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: It smells so bad. Uh. [pause]
JACK: [cross] Can we -
AUSTIN: [cross] And they like, kind of like, gesture towards you to start eating. Yep! What’s up?
JACK: Can we, can we talk to F- can we, do our voices carry to the tower?
AUSTIN: No. I mean, you could shout, but it’s tall. We’re talking about, you know…
JACK: Damn, I’m thinking…
AUSTIN: twelve, thirteen stories of height.
JACK: Mm. Um.
AUSTIN: Maybe, maybe higher.
KEITH: Uh, I want to, before, I want to be like,
(as Fero): Hey, before I have a bite of that, uh, can I, can you -
No, I don’t say that, I’m sorry. I say,
(as Fero): Hey, first, can you, like, can you tell me something, can you tell me what’s up with this tower? [pause] Like, do you know anything about this, or like, is there anybody here, that lives here?
AUSTIN (as Birds): [very enthusiastically and abruptly] We’re new!
KEITH (as Fero): You’re new?
AUSTIN (as Birds): We found this. This is ours now.
KEITH (as Fero): Oh okay, you h- like, do you mind if my friends and I, if we, like, go in here?
AUSTIN (as Birds): Will you eat?
KEITH (as Fero): [pause] Will I eat - some of this?
AUSTIN (as Birds): Will you eat our food?
KEITH (as Fero): No, no, no, no.
AUSTIN: You - you can’t tell if they mean, hey, do you want a bite? Or if they mean, hey, are you gonna steal our food. It’s one of the two! [JACK laughs]
KEITH: Um, I, I, can I tell them like,
(as Fero): I won’t have any more than you want me to have.
AUSTIN: Sure. They nod, and say,
(as Birds): Okay! Okay!
KEITH: Okay. Uh. Can - I, I’m gonna say, like,
(as Fero): Hey, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go back down there with my friends. [AUSTIN laughs]
AUSTIN (as Birds): Okay! Okay!
KEITH (as Fero): Okay. [laughs] Cool. [ALI laughs] Thanks. See you later, thanks for the help.
AUSTIN (as Birds): Mm!
KEITH (as Fero): Okay.
AUSTIN (as Birds): Rahrahrahrahrahrah [aggressive eating noises]. [laughter]
AUSTIN: [cross] Digging into this corpse again.
KEITH: [cross] And then I go - I go back to everybody, and I let them know like, like I don’t, hushed tones! Like,
KEITH (as Fero): Those were [laughs] okay. Those birds don’t know much, they’re a little weird [laughter], don’t eat anything. [laughs] Don’t...
AUSTIN: [pause] Alright, [cross] so, you’re on,
JACK: [cross] Um…
AUSTIN: everyone’s, everyone’s equipped, uh. What’s up, Lem.
JACK: Can I… is there any chance I could consult my Bardic Lore?
AUSTIN: [cross] Sure, what do you, how’s that work, read that -
JACK: [cross] This seems like an important like-
AUSTIN: Read that move to me.
JACK: Um. When you first encounter an important creature, location, or item covered by your
Bardic Lore,
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
JACK: which in this case is Grand Histories of the Known World. You can ask the GM any one question about it, the GM will answer truthfully.
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
JACK: The GM may then ask you what tale, song, or legend you heard that information in.
[#00:50:02#]
AUSTIN: Sure.
JACK: Um. So the question I’m gonna ask, is just, um. [pause] Ah. [pause] Are events
surrounding the histories of this tower, or others’ interactions with this tower, recorded in the
Archives? Essentially, is this something that the organization knows about, even if I don’t?
AUSTIN: [pause] You can’t ask that. You’re asking if you know something. Like you can’t ask, me
as - you, Jack the player can’t ask me, the GM, if the -
JACK: Oh, god that makes so much sense.
AUSTIN: [cross] You’re asking, Lem is -
KEITH: [cross] So -
AUSTIN: recalling his own knowledge, just to see if he knows something.
KEITH: Yeah. So it sounds like you can just rephrase it as like, hey, have I seen anything about
this place?
JACK: I suppose my - I suppose my knowledge would be index cards, yeah, like have I seen
anything about this?
AUSTIN: [pause] How would - how are you going to identify this versus other towers? Like, what,
what sort of information do you want to key you into this, to whether or not you’ve seen anything
about this tower?
JACK: [pause] Is this location marked, and noted? [pause] In this particular place.
ART: [cross] Wait, isn’t that -
AUSTIN: [cross] That’s - that’s so big, man.
JACK: Okay, yeah, fine.
AUSTIN: You’re asking me - you’re basically trying to bring, to bear the entire weight of the
Archive here. [laughter] Do you know what I mean?
JACK: Yeah, no, that’s fair. Um. [pause] Okay, yeah, no, what I’ll do, is I’ll, I’ll, just use my Elf one
instead, which is much more…
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
JACK: usefully specific here, which is just one fact from the history of this location.
AUSTIN: Sure. Um… You know that this location, was… you know, based on, the architectural
style, the embellishments, that this was built before the Erasure. Um. We talked about the
Erasure during our - our base episode, right?
ALI: Mmhm.
AUSTIN: Our first, our…
JACK: Yeah, okay.
ART: Yeah.
AUSTIN: I didn’t know if that was an, an in between thing, but yeah, okay. And… you can date it to
a specific [pause] culture, which was, a different seafaring culture than the one, at, in the Burg?
From the southern, uh, coast of the continent, one that, that was kind of a city-building empire,
like that’s what they did, is they built cities.
JACK: Mmkay.
AUSTIN: So you recognize it as being part of that, that group, in the northwest.
JACK: But for some reason they built a tower up here, and we don’t, we don’t know whether or
not they exist anymore - I, I mean - this isn’t a question I’m asking, but I’m assuming if this is
pre-Erasure.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
JACK: I’m trying to think about whether or not this is gonna be… what are we look- what, what is
the first thing that we’re looking for as we go through here, are we just gonna go room by room?
AUSTIN: That’s up -
JACK: Trying to see what we can find, or?
AUSTIN: That’s up to you guys, I don’t know, you tell me.
JACK: Yeah, no, like that’s - [cross] that’s the sort of-
AUSTIN: [cross] I mean you’re not there yet, you’re, remember, you’re still on the beach, that thing’s still up in the, up at the top of the
JACK: Oh yeah.
AUSTIN: plateau, you guys have to make your way up there still.
JACK: Yeah.
NICK: Are you - are you sharing any of this info with us?
JACK: Oh yeah totally.
NICK: Lem? Okay.
JACK: Yeah, I’m letting you know that. Um.
NICK: As, as he’s, as he’s sharing this information,
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
NICK: I want to try to recall something that I can correct him on.
AUSTIN: [amused] Okay. [JACK laughs] Uh, so is that - like what, like how -
NICK: I’m gonna Spout Lore, basically.
AUSTIN: You’re gonna Spout Lore here?
NICK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Okay. Spout Lore, for people listening, says…
NICK: Then I’m [pause] I’m gonna use one of my book uses.
AUSTIN: Okay, so Spout Lore says when you consult your accumulated knowledge about
something. Roll plus INT, on a 10+ the GM will tell you something interesting and useful about the
subject, relevant to your situation. On a 7-9 the GM will only tell you something interesting, it’s
up to you to make it useful? [JACK laughs] The GM might ask you, how do you know this, tell me
the truth now. And Nick is also - the Great Phantasmo is also using one of his books, as a wizard
one of his starting item options was a collection of books and he can kind of like, flip through
them to like point out a thing, or like draw on their knowledge and use them up to say oh, here’s a
thing, here’s how I know. This is like a little, a little bonus.
JACK: Right.
AUSTIN: So what did you -
NICK: Um. So I rolled, uh, I rolled a 7,
AUSTIN: [cross] Mmhm.
NICK: my INT is +2, my book is +1.
AUSTIN: Ooh.
NICK: So I rolled a 10.
AUSTIN: So you got, you get something both interesting and useful.
NICK: [cross] Yeah.
AUSTIN: You know that in fact, while the architecture might be designed by that, that, group in
the south? It was, these were actually built by, um, living, artifacts, made by the old University.
They did the actual construction.
NICK (as Phantasmo): Excuse me, but I believe you are mistaken! Look here, my good boy.
And then I show him the, the passage in the book that I found.
JACK: [laughs] [pause] Alright. Mmkay. I’m gonna defer to people with swords here [NICK and ALI laugh], or people with, with big, big sticks, and, and clubs, and things.
[#00:55:04#]
AUSTIN: Mmhm. So there’s, there’s a wall of, there’s the wall of… rocks and stones, and you
can make out a pathway, like it’s not, I’m not gonna make you guys, uh, [cross] roll to get up this-
NICK: [cross] I want to make it really clear… I want to make it really clear that that
was not… personal for you? Jack? That was Phantasmo… [laughter]
JACK: Of course!
NICK: I’m roleplaying hard. Okay, good. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: Uh huh. So you’re making your way up the side of this mountain, or kind of, not
mountain but this cliff, and about three fourths of the way up, you find… a kind of a cute little
door, little wooden door. It comes up to… the, it comes up to most people’s chest? Fero, it
comes up to your head, it’s a door about your size. Maybe a little bit shorter than you.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: Um.
ART: [cross] Oh! Uh -
AUSTIN: It’s a wooden door with brass handles, and a little window, with a grate on it. What’s up,
Hadrian.
ART: Oh I uh, I have senses that pierce lies.
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
ART: Is anything, is there anything about the appearance here that’s false? [pause]
AUSTIN: No.
ART: You know - [cross] Okay, so if this,
AUSTIN: [cross] No, everything is -
ART: if this was like, if this wasn’t here, and it was just like a [cross] big stupid illusion… alright.
AUSTIN: [cross] Yeah, yeah, yes. No, this is not a big stupid illusion. [pause]
KEITH: Um…
AUSTIN: What do you do, at the, at the door to this little… at this little door?
KEITH: I’m gonna take a, I’m gonna take a quick listen… through the door to see if I can hear
anything going on at the other side. And if I feel like I can’t hear anything, then I’m gonna, open it up slowly and peek in.
AUSTIN: There’s a little… bit of a, there’s a little bit of movement. But it’s not…
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: It’s like, you can make out… that sounds like… mm. It’s just a little bit of, there’s a little bit of movement inside.
KEITH: O-
AUSTIN: But not from anything human, like human in size.
KEITH: Okay. So, I, I tell, I tell everybody, if I haven’t told them before, like,
(as Fero): It looked like, up on the thing, those birds were eating the corpse of something. Something kind of my size, a little bit wider. So it could, like. Maybe it could’ve been some sort of dwarf, or something? And… something, something is behind this door that is not as big as a, as a human person…
AUSTIN: [loudly] It’s also not as big as you! It’s, I mean when I say [cross] it’s not as big as
KEITH: [cross] Oh okay.
AUSTIN: I mean it’s like, small. Like,
KEITH: Small? Oh okay.
AUSTIN: I mean like tiny animal sized.
KEITH: Okay. Then I t- then I o- then I open the door, cautiously.
AUSTIN: The first thing you get when you open it is like, it’s the smell of a room that someone’s
been like, for twenty years now, maybe longer, just like… smoking in. And like, the good tobacco?
Like I don’t like cigarettes at all?
KEITH: Mmhm.
AUSTIN: At all, I grew up with, with parents who smoked, with my mom who smoked, and I hate
the smell of actual cigarettes.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: But I, when I was living in California I used to go to like the tobacco store, with my friend Jason. And they would have like, fresh tobacco in there, and it has that smell.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Of like, and also like the smell of old books.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: This is just like, a really quaint little… a quaint little place where people, where like someone lived.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: It’s -
KEITH: And this - is this, the smoke smells like someone smoked here recently? Or just -
AUSTIN: Not recently.
KEITH: Oh okay.
AUSTIN: It’s this old, lived-in feel.
KEITH: Okay, yeah.
AUSTIN: Not recently at all. What do you guys do?
KEITH: I’m gonna, I’m gonna step inside.
AUSTIN: Okay. It’s easy for Fero to get inside, everyone can go inside here, but like
you’re, like all of your heights are like [laughs] just up to the ceiling.
KEITH: I’m gonna walk - I’m gonna walk in like it’s nothing, and be like
(as Fero): [teasingly] Ah, what’s wrong, guys? [ALI and JACK laugh]
NICK: [cross] Is it dark in here?
ART: [cross] Can I - you know, I’d like to like, can I make some noise? Just like, a, like,
you know…
AUSTIN: Yeah, sure.
ART: Pound my, my halberd on the, the, the base on the ground, or whatever, like.
AUSTIN: [cross] Uh huh. You hear -
ART: [cross] I wanna see if I get a response.
AUSTIN: You do! There’s like a little bit of a chittering? Like, like rodents, like
(as Rodents): [mouse-like noises]
[cross] And then they scurry away.
KEITH: [cross] And then I - then I also scowl at him. [laughter]
AUSTIN: Uh -
NICK: So there’s, there’s no light in here except what’s coming through the door, right? Or is there.
AUSTIN: And then, as you step inside,
NICK: Okay.
AUSTIN: you see that there are also windows out to a little area behind it. You didn’t think there
would be, you thought this would be like a cave? But it looks like it opens up into a sunlit
something. Inside, you could, if you’re all in there, you can see that there’s, you know, little, little bottled ships on the shelves and the walls. Probably… a couple dozen books, there’s… painting supplies, um, there’s, a, a couple loaves of moldy bread… a little fireplace.
NICK: Phantas-
KEITH: [cross] Don’t eat that bread.
NICK: [cross] Phantasmo’s looking at the books. Is there anything interesting?
AUSTIN: It’s all very practical stuff. You find one that’s on an armchair next to the fireplace that’s just like, The Breads of the Capitol! [laughter] There’s lots of baking books, lots of recipes. There’s some, books on woodworking. It’s a very craftsy selection of books.
NICK: Okay.
AUSTIN: And then a few, like, novels. Um, that look really well-worn, and are very like, the fantasy
equivalent of Hemingway, or Melville, right? Like… [ALI laughs]
[#01:00:01#]
ALI: What, um…
JACK: Um. Are we under any time pressure?
AUSTIN: I don’t know. You tell me, [cross] how long do you want to spend here?
JACK: [cross] Is - is there any sort of, okay.
ART: How - how moldy? Like is this bread like, a couple weeks old, or like twenty years old?
AUSTIN: A couple weeks old.
ART: Okay.
AUSTIN: Are you, inside of like the, the, the bread oven, in fact, is a loaf, that is just, it’s, way
overcooked. It’s burnt to, to, to ash, at this point.
ART: Sure.
AUSTIN: But like, even that isn’t… old, dusty, nothing? Like even that has some weight to it, it’s
only been a couple of weeks.
ALI: Um. While people are looking at books and bread, can I look out one of those windows in the back?
AUSTIN: Sure! Absolutely. There’s a, there’s a nice little garden back there,
JACK: [cross] Oh man!
AUSTIN: [cross] that’s starting to get a little bit overgrown, and set up, it’s kind of like, this nice, it has cliffs all around it, like, the rock has grown up around it? But here in the back, is just this nice little garden! And there’s an easel set up, with unfinished painting, back there… and a little stool, and -
JACK: What’s the painting like?
AUSTIN: It’s a painting of… a… ship, in a, in a big, bold harbor. It’s, it’s, very, like, dramatic, and, and… a little imperial? If you know how to read paintings like, like you do? Kind of like, look at all - look at our strength, sort of painting. But there are also other paintings back there, and those range in subject matter, from, um, the natural? You know, cliff faces, like the one that this, that make up this island, to the personal. There is a portrait of a small woman, very round features, who has a smile on her face, that looks… [hesitates] it looks, it’s actually like a, one of the most genuine smiles that you’ve seen, as if she’s thrilled to be, being made the subject of, of a painting.
JACK: [pause] Mmhm.
ALI: [hesitatingly] Okay… [laughs]
JACK: Were there any exits? From -
AUSTIN: Uh, not from the garden. [cross] So there’s little -
JACK: [cross] So the i-
AUSTIN: There’s a - there’s an exit from the room, from the little house, into the garden, there’s
another back door, but that’s it.
JACK: Okay. So this whole space is just the room and the garden.
AUSTIN: It’s a big room, like it’s a, there’s a bed in the corner, there’s the area where people sit
and read, there’s the -
KEITH: And - can - can I see up to the, ceiling? Like, or like, the super tall point of the tower?
AUSTIN: You can see the roof, like, you’re not in the tower at this point.
KEITH: Oh okay, okay.
AUSTIN: This is like, this is like a little house, in the cliff face, on your way up to the tower.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: Does that make sense?
KEITH: Yeah, yeah.
AUSTIN: So you can ki- you can see the tower over the little, the cliffs that block this place out.
KEITH: Okay. Yeah, well, first, I wanna, I wanna take that woodworking book?
AUSTIN: Okay.
KEITH: Um. And I, then -
AUSTIN: It’s not in a language you can understand.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: [cross] None of you like, know -
JACK: [cross] Is it a language I can understand?
AUSTIN: Uh, you recognize the language, and you’ve been putting together what these books are through illustrations… and like, maybe through a few words, let’s say. Let’s say that like.
JACK: Oh, okay.
AUSTIN: Like bread, okay, I know what bread is, you know the word for bread, and it works. But there are other words here that are just not your common tongue.
JACK: So I’m like the guy who knows three words of Spanish?
AUSTIN: Yes.
JACK: And says he speaks a bit of Spanish. [NICK laughs quietly]
AUSTIN: Yes, exactly. Exactly.
ART: This, this might be, this might be cheating. Uh, if - if that book was read aloud, would I
understand it?
AUSTIN: Yeah! If it was read alou- oh! Oh, like - yeah yeah yeah, but there are, yes. But, um.
KEITH: If someone read it phonetically -
AUSTIN: Yes, except that this is like, do you know Cyrillic? Do you know how to pronounce
Cyrillic?
ART: I don’t.
AUSTIN: Right. And that’s what this is.
KEITH: Okay.
JACK: [cross] But I - is that - [trails off]
AUSTIN: [cross] Do you know what I mean, there are some chara- there are some
characters there, that you’re really familiar with, and some that are just like I don’t know if, I don’t
know what this is. Jack, if you had all of your resources? And like, a week? [JACK laughs] You bet you could put together what this is, and where it was written, and who the culture was that wrote it.
KEITH: Okay, I definitely take, I keep the book.
JACK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Okay, it’s -
JACK: Um, is…
AUSTIN: It’s 1 load.
KEITH: It’s 1 load?
AUSTIN: Yeah, it’s like a, you know.
KEITH: [disappointed] Okay…
AUSTIN: It’s a healthy-sized book. But like, so write that down.
KEITH: Okay.
JACK: Was that map I got earlier 1 load?
AUSTIN: No, that map is noth- is no load.
JACK: Okay.
AUSTIN: Yeah, so it’s a big, heavy book. I guess what I would say, actually, Keith, is you can take a couple of books at 1 load.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: If you want.
KEITH: Yeah, I’ll take a couple of books for now.
AUSTIN: That’s - that’s fair.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Because, Nick, your one, your like five books is 1 load, right?
NICK: My - the bag of books is 5 uses… 2 weight. So.
AUSTIN: 2 weight. 2 load.
NICK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: So let’s say, so let’s say you can take [cross] three books at 1 load.
NICK: [cross] So, like two and half books.
AUSTIN: Yeah, yeah. [laughter]
KEITH: So, for now, just so everyone knows, I am encumbered.
AUSTIN: Mm-hm.
KEITH: Not, I, I mean, I am at my max before I am encumbered.
AUSTIN: Okay, sounds good.
KEITH: Yeah, yeah. [cross] Is there any way -
NICK: [cross] Oh, also, speaking of the books, uh.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
NICK: Like, at all times, except for, you know, if something - bad, is happening?
[#01:05:02#]
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
NICK: My books are actually just floating next to me?
AUSTIN: Yeah.
NICK: Uh. [JACK laughs] On the uh, on my uh.
AUSTIN: [amused] It’s an important thing for our visuals of this.
NICK: Yeah! [ART laughs] No, it’s. [cross] It’s important to know this.
KEITH: [cross] Does that negate the weight?
[JACK laughs]
AUSTIN: [pause] [cross] I think it does!
NICK: [cross] Yes, my unseen servant can t- can carry, a, a load, of up to three.
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
KEITH: Aw man! Can I ask him if he can carry my books too? [laughter]
NICK: Uh, I mean.
KEITH (as Fero): Phantasmo, come on! [Nick laughs] Come on, he’s already got your books!
ALI: I - I was shaking my head, and people who are listening to this can’t see this, but I’m shaking my head as Hella. [laughter] I want everyone to know that.
JACK: Is there a particular move for like a thorough search of a place?
AUSTIN: Yeah!
JACK: Or is that just…?
AUSTIN: That’s Discerning Realities.
JACK: Oh! Cool, well.
AUSTIN: How are you searching, how are you searching the space? Like what are you doing?
JACK: I’m, I’m like, searching it like a, person who can’t do any magic? [ALI laughs] I’m going from like surface to surface?
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
JACK: Taking all the stuff off it,
AUSTIN: Okay.
JACK: looking under things,
AUSTIN: Sure.
JACK: shaking books…
AUSTIN: That’s a Discern - Discern Realities.
NICK: Anyways, I answer Fero. And I say
(as Phantasmo): [cross] Fine! But you must remove it, if I need… something of my own to be carried.
KEITH: I - I roll my eyes, toss the books in the air, and then they just start floating. [laughter]
NICK: Yep. [laughs]
JACK : [amused] [cross] Okay, so uh…
AUSTIN: [cross] I like that - I like that they’re in the air, and like the books stack like
[dramatically] WHOAAA!
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: [over laughter] Like moves over to catch it, and they’re still moving everywhere to catch it.
JACK: Okay, I’m rolled 2D6…
AUSTIN: Mmhm. Plus WIS.
JACK: 9 plus WIS is +1, so 10!
ART: Great!
AUSTIN: Excellent! Um… you… find… I guess, so here’s the thing that’s interesting about
Discern Realities, you were supposed to now ask me three questions on this list. And that’s
what you have to do here. So, so do that.
JACK: Okay.
AUSTIN: That’s what you’re supposed to do. It shouldn’t just be me giving you a thing.
JACK: Alright. Okay. What here is useful or valuable to me?
AUSTIN: You find, in the bottom, o- of, he has like a, next to his bed - next to the bed, there is a
bed here. I shouldn’t say his, in fact. Um. Is a… little nightstand, that has all of the signs of being handcrafted. And on the bottom shelf, of the nightstand, or the bottom drawer of the nightstand, there’s a false bottom. And underneath that, is, a little ring of keys.
JACK: Cool!
AUSTIN: You pocket that easily.
JACK: Is that 1 load, or?
AUSTIN: That’s no load.
JACK: Okay.
AUSTIN: Little ring of keys, eh, whatever.
JACK: Cool. [clock chimes] Not quite clock.
AUSTIN: Mm-hm. What else, what are your other two questions?
JACK: Oh, sorry, I was just writing down ring of keys. Next question is… what here is not what it
appears to be?
ART: Good question! [KEITH laughs]
AUSTIN: Hm. I’m trying to think if there’s anything that’s not what it appears to be. Um… okay, uh.
NICK: This bread appears to be tasty. [laughter] But it is not.
AUSTIN: This place, you would be… it would be easy to think that this was, based on the things like oh the bread is recent! Oh there’s recent paintings! Stuff like that? It would be easy to think that this person has lived here for… ten or twenty years, right? You know, that this place is much older than that. You recognize a few… embellishments, on, on pieces of furniture. You recognize, the, the… the language that you’d seen earlier on the books. But like I said, it predates the Erasure. Those things make you realize that like, unlike everyone else in this group who probably thinks, oh, someone probably moved here, twenty thirty years ago at the most, you know that that could be three, four, five hundred years ago.
JACK: I’m sharing all this information with people.
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
JACK: So we can all be on the same page here. Final question. What should I be on the
lookout for?
ART: [quietly] Oh, you broke my heart with that, Jack. [laughter]
AUSTIN: [cross] [hesitantly] Nothing. You don’t, you don’t know.
You don’t, that’s. [cross] You don’t know.
JACK: [cross] Sorry, Art?
AUSTIN: He said he broke hi- you broke his heart with that question. [laughter] Instead of choosing some other one.
JACK: I -
AUSTIN: No! That’s fine, it’s what you made - there isn’t really anything to be on the lookout here for, like you’re on your toes for danger, you’re, paying attention but there just isn’t anything else to look out for.
KEITH: I start - I suggest that we, we get going to the tower.
NICK: Wait, hang on.
AUSTIN: Mmhm?
NICK: I wanna do a, Detect Magic, cantrip.
AUSTIN: Sure.
NICK: Quickly.
AUSTIN: The, do you just make cantrips or do you roll for them? I forget.
NICK: Um.
AUSTIN: You still roll for them, right?
NICK: Yeah, no, I still roll for them, they just don’t count, I don’t have to prepare them.
AUSTIN: [cross] Right, that’s -
NICK: [cross] Like they’re auto-prepared.
AUSTIN: Autoprepared, right right right.
NICK: I don’t lose them. Um, alright.
AUSTIN: Yeah, go ahead and make that spell. And I’m gonna say that you can have just cast, successfully cast, the hidden… thing. Or not the hidden thing, the servant, the invisible servant is fine.
NICK: Oh, yeah.
AUSTIN: But go ahead and cast, go ahead and cast the… Detect Magic.
[#01:10:03#]
NICK: [worried] Ooh, uh. 8? Is what I rolled…
AUSTIN: Mm-hm. So, on an 8, you cast the spell, but choose one. You either draw unwelcome
attention, or put yourself in a spot, I’ll tell you how, the spell disturbs the fabric of reality, you take 1 on, -1 ongoing to cast a spell until the next time you prepare spells, so it’s like a negative to all of your spellcasting. Or you forget the spell after you’ve cast it, you can’t cast it again until you prepare your spells.
KEITH: Any cantrip, or just the, the Detect Magic cantrip?
AUSTIN: Just the, this one cantrip.
KEITH: Okay.
NICK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: For that one! The -1 ongoing is all spells. So you can either, like, I forget this one spell, or, I take -1
NICK: Right.
AUSTIN: on all future spells, until I prepare again.
NICK: Um. [sighs] I’m gonna choose the first one. [laughs]
AUSTIN: [doubtfully] Okay… So, you notice that there is magic in, on the paintings? The
paintings are magical.
NICK: Okay.
AUSTIN: At first you’re not sure what it is, and then you notice it’s the inks, the inks - not the inks.
The um. Paints themselves.
NICK: The paints. Yeah.
AUSTIN: Yeah. They’re left out, but they’re still wet. Like the paints on the palette that are near
his, or near the painted area, are still… just, they’re like nice, wet, like fresh, even though
NICK: Mmhm.
AUSTIN: it feels like no one has been here for weeks. The… the key? In, or the keys, in… Lem’s pocket, are magical? And… that set of footsteps coming down the pathway is magical.
NICK: What. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: What do you do?
NICK: [pause] Uh…
AUSTIN: You can only sense that because you’ve sensed magic.
NICK: Right. So no one else hears the footsteps?
AUSTIN: No. You hear them as like, magical drops, hitting the ground. [cross] Feel like -
NICK: [cross] Sure.
AUSTIN: There’s no other sound, coming.
ALI: [cross] But the pathway - can’t be...
NICK: [cross] Um…
AUSTIN: Up to the tower, the pathway, so it’s like, there’s a pathway like, up? And then like, you
know, up and it’s kind of around and all over the place, and, coming down from the tower… the Great Phantasmo picks up the sound of, the magical tinkling of footsteps.
NICK: I have a uh. I have a rules question.
AUSTIN: Sure.
NICK: On invisibility?
AUSTIN: Mm-hm.
NICK: It says touch an ally. Am I, am I an ally?
AUSTIN: I think so.
NICK: To myself? Okay.
AUSTIN: I think it’s interesting if you are, so yeah.
NICK: I make myself invisible.
AUSTIN: Uh, you have to roll that spell again.
NICK: Yeah, alright.
AUSTIN: So, go ahead and, and do that. [exasperated but amused] And you haven’t - have you
communicated this to anybody? [cross] Are people just gonna look a-
NICK: [cross] Nope. [JACK laughs]
AUSTIN: Okay. Alright.
JACK: [laughing] He’s just gonna disappear. [ALI laughs]
NICK: Oh sh- [laughing] that’s not good! I rolled a 5.
AUSTIN: Did you roll your - plus your INT? Or just total, it was a 5.
NICK: Yup, I rolled a 3, and then +2…
AUSTIN: Oh, buddy… alright. [NICK laughs]
AUSTIN: [cross] Um, so -
ART: [cross] Man, get better at magic!
KEITH: [cross] Man. [incredulously] What do you do when you fail your intro?
Great Phantasmo, more like… Fake Phan… tas-blow.
AUSTIN: I - so what happens here, is. [NICK laughs and claps] [amused] Great. Great. The way this game works is, when you guys make a move, you do what it says on a 10+ or on a 7-9. On a 6 or lower, sometimes there’s a specific, a thing, but… generally, it means I get to make, a move. It means I get to make what’s called a hard move, normally. Hard moves are events that happen - I have a list of moves that I can make, that you guys can’t see. But, hard moves are a list of things, or are, are, is a type of move that doesn’t - that you can’t take back. It’s just, it’s a, kind of a, irreparable? Or like, you would need to put in some effort to change it? Versus a soft move, which is like, you heard some footsteps. I made a soft move when Nick succeeded, he heard, he heard some footsteps. I’m now making a hard move. The door flings open, and there’s a, a little, round skeleton, standing there with a broom in its hands. [JACK laughs] And it makes some - it makes like a chattering, of its mouth moving? Like
(as Skeleton): [clicks teeth repeatedly]
AUSTIN: And it’s try - [ART laughs] it’s as if it’s speaking. But it takes up the broom and is shaking it, as, as the Great Phantasmo is doing his - [laughing] what do your spells look like, Phantasmo? Like what do you do.
NICK: Um…
AUSTIN: Are they words you say? Are they, is it a series of hand gestures? Is it throwing -
ART: A big loud invisibility spell is not a good [laughter] idea.
AUSTIN: [laughing] Generally - but generally, what are the, what are the components of it?
NICK: Yeah. [pause]
AUSTIN: Generally speaking.
NICK: Sorry, I didn’t get that last part, you’re breaking…
ART: [cross] Oh, Austin, do you -
AUSTIN: [cross] Oh, what are, uh, what are - sorry, generally speaking, what are the sorts of things you do when you cast a spell?
NICK: Um, I… when, when Phantasmo’s casting, his voice shifts in, like his voice sounds like it
suddenly takes on reverb?
[#01:15:06#]
AUSTIN: Ooh, okay.
NICK: Uh, and…
AUSTIN: So they’re spoken?
NICK: They’re spoken, there are a couple of like, small, like hand gestures.
AUSTIN: Okay.
NICK: Like for invisibility, I have to touch the, the thing, and then do this.
AUSTIN: Okay, and then you like, [cross] [emphatically] vanishes it -
NICK: [cross] Well I’m doing, people can’t, people can’t do that, but.
AUSTIN: [laughing] Oh yeah people can’t see.
NICK: Can’t see that I guess, but.
AUSTIN: He put his hand on his chest.
NICK: I’m moving my hand down.
AUSTIN: [laughs] [ART laughs] Past… your face, as if to like wipe away your existence.
NICK: [cross] Yeah. I’m doing the you can’t see me move.
AUSTIN: [cross] So he’s doing that - And then the door - [laughs] right, he’s John Cena-ing. [NICK and ALI laugh] And then the, the door opens up, and in comes this little round skeleton with a broom, who… is shaking it at you, and approaching quickly.
NICK: So does my spell fizzle? Or…
AUSTIN: Yeah, your spell has fizzled, at this point.
NICK: [cross] Okay, so -
AUSTIN: [cross] or it interrupts you, let’s say.
He interrupts you -
NICK: [cross] He interrupts my concentration.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Yes. Yes.
NICK: Sure. Okay. Uh.
AUSTIN: Actually! Is it funnier if it works? [laughter] It is. You’re gone. Zip!
NICK: [laughing] Okay.
AUSTIN: There’s no, like, you’ve done it. [loud laughter]
KEITH: So - so - as soon as that door opens, Nick is invisible. [snaps fingers]
NICK: Yep.
AUSTIN: [cross] Phantasmo is gone!
KEITH: [cross] Didn’t tell us anything.
AUSTIN: Didn’t tell you a d- a word.
KEITH: Didn’t tell us a, anything, [laughter] okay.
AUSTIN: [cross] And there’s a little -
JACK: [cross] But did we see that - did we see that [laughs] he was detecting
magic?
[pause] Like, so -
ART: What does that look like?
AUSTIN: [cross] Uh, what’s that look like?
JACK: [cross] Is what happened - is what happened - did he like, did he like, did he do, [laughs] did some weird reverb hand gesture thing happen?
AUSTIN: Mm-hm.
NICK: [cross] Well, that’s a -
JACK: [cross] And then the door flew open,
and then he vanished.
ART: [cross] I don’t know how close we were all looking at him.
NICK: [cross] Detect Magic is a cantrip for me?
AUSTIN: Yeah, it is a cantrip for you, right.
NICK: So, like, it’s probably, if, if there is anything, there’s probably no spoken component to it?
AUSTIN: Mm-hm.
NICK: Like it’s probably just like, I’m putting my, like, [cross] alright,
JACK: [cross] Ah, so -
ALI: [cross] Yeah.
NICK: here’s, here’s my Detect Magic motion,
ALI: [cross] I mean -
NICK: [cross] I just put put two fingers up to my temple. [ALI laughs] And then I look very -
AUSTIN: Like, like, in Dragon Ball Z, you’d be tele- you’d be communicating telepathically. If you
did this.
NICK: Right.
AUSTIN: That’s the sort of thing he’s doing. [cross] For like Vegeta’s defence.
KEITH: [cross] Or like Austin’s favorite show, Psych. [ALI laughs evilly] Austin’s favorite show in the whole world, Psych. [ART laughs evilly]
ALI: It’s a great show.
AUSTIN: We’re not - we’re not going down this path on recorded - [ALI laughs evilly] we’re not. We’re not.
ALI: I mean everyone’s sort of distracted anyone, until the skeleton.
NICK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: [cross] Right. Everyone’s like doing their own thing -
KEITH: [cross] It - so - eh -
ART: [cross] This is happening, right? Like, we all see this?
NICK: Yeah.
ART: The skeleton’s a real thing.
AUSTIN: The skeleton is a real thing!
KEITH: [cross] Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah.
AUSTIN: [cross] And it’s shaking its broom at you all!
KEITH: That doesn’t seem super threatening!
JACK: [doubtfully] I don’t think this is very hostile. No!
ART: I’m not super threat- I mean it’s hostile. I’m not threatened.
ALI: Yeah, I’m also not threatened.
KEITH: Can -
AUSTIN: [cross] Somebody roll, uh -
JACK: [cross] Me and Ali can -
KEITH: [cross] So he, Nick, you said he’s chattering his teeth, can Art hear what, what,
[cross] can uh, can Hadrian hear what he’s saying?
AUSTIN: [cross] Who is - okay. [confused] What?
KEITH: You said -
AUSTIN: No one can hear - he’s not making any sounds.
KEITH: [cross] Oh, okay. Just chattering.
AUSTIN: [cross] He doesn’t have any mouth, guys. He’s just a skeleton, he doesn’t have any like, there’s nothing there.
KEITH: Okay, yes. [cross] [weird chattery noise]
ART: [cross] Is it evil? [pause]
ALI: Oh? [laughs]
AUSTIN: [pause] Is that a spell, or do you just do that? [cross] This is a thing I should’ve asked before.
ART: [cross] I just - I just do it, I, it, I have to, I have to concentrate.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: And I’ll read you the exact thing, if you want.
AUSTIN: Hm. [cross] Yeah, read me the exact thing.
ART: [cross] Pray for guidance, even for a moment, and ask, “What here is evil?”
The GM will tell you honestly.
AUSTIN: [cross] No. This is not evil.
ART: [cross] And we went through that you, Austin, could do this.
AUSTIN: Yeah. You are not [JACK laughs], this thing is not evil. Uh,
JACK: [cross] Is there anything that -
AUSTIN: [cross] what it is doing - wait! Uh! One second! Uh, Art, do me a favor and roll 1D4.
ART: Uh… okay. [cross] 1D4, coming up.
NICK: [cross] [gleefully] I’m so happy that I got us in trouble. [ALI laughs]
KEITH: Yeah, [cross] it’s been only me. [NICK laughs]
ART: [cross] A 3!
AUSTIN: What it is doing, is stabbing you in the face with its broom. Take 3 damage, Art.
ART: [pause] Okay. [laughter]
AUSTIN: This little skeleton is -
ART: That’s a pretty good broom. [cross] I just wanna -
AUSTIN: [cross] Slams it -
ALI: Yeah, that’s - [cross] that’s a sharp -
AUSTIN: [cross] I mean it jabs it right at your face.
KEITH: That’s a fucked up broom.
AUSTIN: Eh! Just, hits you right in the face with it.
ALI: I guess it got like some, nose action a little bit? I…
AUSTIN: Well yeah!
NICK: It’s a, it’s a really old broom [ART laughs], the bristles are super stiff. [laughter]
AUSTIN: Oh, sorry! It’s the - it’s the, it’s the blunt side of the broom. To be clear.
NICK: Oh okay. [laughs]
ALI: Ohh, okay. [laughs]
AUSTIN: He’s using it like a staff. He’s -
ART: Ohhh. [laughter]
KEITH: Yeah, I was - that’s what I was picturing, [cross] but that’s still, like.
AUSTIN: [cross] Sorry, my bad.
KEITH: Yeah yeah yeah.
AUSTIN: [amused] Just to be clear.
JACK: Does anybody know here if it’s possible to incapacitate a skeleton? Wh- uh,
KEITH: [cross] If - I just wanna pau-
JACK: [cross] I mean there’s no way -
we can communicate with it, right?
KEITH: [cross] I wanna pause here one
AUSTIN: [cross] That’s not true!
KEITH: second, and say that if it sounds like I’m yelling, it’s because I feel like I have to talk over
my roommates, who are playing music so loud... [cross] that my room is shaking.
AUSTIN: [cross] I can’t hear it at all. None of us can hear it.
ALI: Yeah.
KEITH: I can
AUSTIN: Mmhm.
KEITH: see it showing up on my wav file so I’ll just have to do some noise can-
AUSTIN: Right.
KEITH: noise removal stuff?
AUSTIN: Right.
KEITH: But it’s fine, most likely.
AUSTIN: Good news, I’m also still recording this with OBS, so, um.
KEITH: [cross] If my file is unusable then we can use that, but.
AUSTIN: [cross] Just in case. Yeah we can just drop that, but.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: I’m gonna also clear these dice, cause I’m gonna, I’m getting confused.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: I’m easily confused.
ART: Okay. Um. I mean we can’t - I don’t know how we can - I can, I can talk to it.
AUSTIN: You can talk to it.
ART: I mean, I can talk to it, but it can’t talk to us, right?
AUSTIN: [laughing] That’s correct.
ART: We’ve established that.
JACK: [cross] What I’m, yeah, what I’m saying is -
ALI: [cross] Well, will it understand like gestures?
AUSTIN: It will understand Art’s words, straight up.
ART: [cross] Yeah I can talk to it.
ALI: [cross] Oh okay.
AUSTIN: [cross] Because he has that thing.
ALI: Okay. [laughs]
AUSTIN: Yeah.
JACK: Oh! Wait! Maybe we could get it to write something! We’ve got paints! [laughs]
[#01:20:00#]
ART: That’s so - that’s - that’s such a bad idea! [laughter]
KEITH: That’s a great idea! No, [cross] I’m totally with Jack on this.
ALI: [cross] That’s a -
JACK: No! [cross] We’ve got our first -
NICK: [cross] Wait, you guys -
ART: [exasperated, laughing] But it just hurt me!
KEITH: [excited] Yeah yeah yeah! [cross] Cause it’s so -
NICK: [cross] You guys don’t know that the paints were…I only noticed that because I detected that they were magical.
JACK: Oh.
AUSTIN: Right. He knows that they’re magic, no, but everyone can see that they’re, that they’re
usable.
JACK: [cross] Yeah.
AUSTIN: [cross] But he kno- but uh, Phantasmo knows that they’re magical.
NICK: Oh okay.
JACK: Alright, yeah!
KEITH: So -
JACK: I’m not necessarily gonna advocate no- non-lethality all the time. Fuck it, kill him, Hadrian.
[laughs] [AUSTIN laughs breathlessly]
ART: Uh - I mean I’m not -
AUSTIN: [cross] We went from -
ART: [cross] I’m not necessarily advocating lethality, but he hurt - he hit me, [cross] I’m gonna hit him, like.
AUSTIN: [cross] He’s gonna hit - he’s gonna hit you again.
JACK: Okay.
AUSTIN: [cross] He’s waiting to do it.
KEITH: [cross] Wait - have you tried yelling at him?
ALI: Yeah, have you said anything yet?
KEITH: Have you said anything?
AUSTIN: [amused] No one has said a word.
JACK: [pause] Can we maybe cut his legs off?
KEITH: Yeah, like, [ALI laughs] it wouldn’t, it wouldn’t take you any extra time to just go like,
[laughing] whoa whoa whoa, we’re cool! Stop it, please!
ALI: Yeah.
ART: [insistently] No, he’s gonna hit me again!
AUSTIN: [cross] He’s gonna hit you again.
KEITH: [cross] [insistently] Then take the - take the damage!
AUSTIN: Respond. What do you do?
ART: [aggravated] I - I shout
(as Hadrian): Go away!
And I swing my thing at him!
AUSTIN: Uh, that sounds like Hack & Sla- are you…
KEITH: [muttering] That’s fucked up.
AUSTIN: Are you rolling to hurt him? Are you going to hurt him, are you trying to hurt him? [cross] The skeleton.
ART: [cross] I don’t know how you hurt a skeleton with a slashing weapon! [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: It’s a - it’s a collection of bones.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: You’ll hit it.
ALI: Yeah.
AUSTIN: You don’t know what will happen. You’ve never fought a skeleton man before.
ART: Right. I’ve never st- [cross] but it sure doesn’t seem like a good thing.
AUSTIN: [cross] So, but if you, t- are you trying to hit it? Or are you just trying to scare
him away?
ALI: Yeah, why don’t you -
ART: [exasperated] I’m trying to hit it.
AUSTIN: Okay!
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: [cross] That’s a Hack & Slash.
KEITH: [cross] Art’s trying to hit it.
ALI: [groans]
ART: He didn’t - he did almost - he did a third of my maximum health.
JACK: Oh, whoa, yeah, I think -
ART: [cross] Not a third, uh, an eighth.
AUSTIN: [cross] Not a third! An eighth. [laughing] Okay, that’s a big difference.
KEITH: I - I see - there’s a big difference between a third and an eighth, but. [laughter] I - I see,
uh, Hadrian going to attack.
AUSTIN: Ha- uh huh.
KEITH: Uh, and as he’s doing that, I would like to… do a sort of, jump-transform combo, into a
bear. [ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: To interfere? Is that what you’re doing here? What are you doing?
KEITH: No no no, I’m, I’m being like okay, so it looks like we’re just gonna fucking do this. [cross] So I’m helping.
AUSTIN: [cross] Okay, that’s fine.
Let’s resolve - [cross] before you do that,
KEITH: [cross] I’m also attacking.
AUSTIN: let’s resolve, let’s resolve, let’s resolve this Hack & Slash first.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: [cross] Art, give me a Hack & Slash.
JACK: [cross] Wait, sorry, does Hadrian have a +1D4 for my,
AUSTIN: Oh!
JACK: performance on the beach?
AUSTIN: Wait! Uh, no, that was, that was scenes ago at this point, let’s say.
JACK: Oh, it -
ART: It was one scene ago.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: [cross] And it went really badly, that’s why I’m [laughs].
JACK: [cross] But we never used it.
AUSTIN: Uh, what’s your plus to that? Here’s the other thing. Oh, that’s, that’s fine, you’re both
using kind of long things, that’s fine. Uh. What - what’d you roll?
ART: Um. Sorry, everything’s on one PDF, it’s annoying.
AUSTIN: You should print these out. [laughs]
ART: [pause] I don’t have a printer!
AUSTIN: Oh, brother.
ART: What kind of fancy person do you think I am. [laughter]
ALI: Go to the library…
ART: That’s a 7. [laughter]
AUSTIN: Okay. Hack & Slash, when you attack an enemy in melee, roll plus Strength. On a
10+, you deal your damage to the enemy and avoid their attack. At your option, you may choose
to do +1D6 damage but expose yourself to the enemy attack. On 7-9, you deal your
damage to the enemy, and the enemy makes an attack against you. So, you, how are you, what
are you doing here? You’re kind of like s…[cross] are you -
ART: [cross] I’m hitting it with the sharp part.
AUSTIN: So you’re like, you’re like swinging it low, at it then? Okay.
ART: [hesitantly] Yeah…
AUSTIN: Uh, do your damage.
ART: So it’s base damage plus the modifier?
AUSTIN: No, it’s base damage plus if your weapon has a modifier.
ART: Right, the weapon’s modifier.
AUSTIN: Yes.
ART: Right. So it’s a D10+1.
AUSTIN: Yes.
ART: So it’s 4 plus 1 is 5.
AUSTIN: And you’re aiming for its legs? Is what you were doing?
ART: Do I have - I don’t think I have that much ability - no that was something someone
suggested.
AUSTIN: It was.
ART: I didn’t know that I had that much control.
AUSTIN: Yeah!
ART: Uh… I don’t know, I think I was just, I’m, [cross] I’m good with the, I hit the, uh, torso.
AUSTIN: [cross] Alright. You slam, you slam into its torso, and it goes flying into a billion parts.
[WAVE SOUNDS FADE IN]
It chatters a few times, uh, and then stops.
[MUSIC - AUTUMN NOT WINTER]
ALI: This is sad.
AUSTIN: There’s just bones all over the floor.
KEITH: I mean you - you -
ART: [laughs] [cross]And there’s just - there’s just a big bear next to the -
JACK: [cross] Yeah, Ali! I was - I was advocating -
KEITH: I was gonna be a bear. [ART laughs]
AUSTIN: Yeah, well, it’s dead - it’s - done.
KEITH: [laughs] I know.
AUSTIN: You stopped it.
JACK: I was gonna get us to - get it to do us a picture. What if it lived here?
ALI: Yeah!
NICK: Aw.
AUSTIN: In the - in the…
ALI: It definitely lived here.
AUSTIN: In the bones, you find, uh, a duplicate set of the keys that Jack had found, or that,
JACK: [cross] Goddammit, it lived here.
AUSTIN: [cross] that Lem had found.
ART: [angrily] It hit me with its broom!
KEITH: [angrily] You were in its house!
ALI: [groans]
AUSTIN: [exasperated] What do you do?
ALI: I was definitely going for defense! [laughs]
ART: Someone’s not a good evil fighter. [laughter] I just wanna throw that out.
ALI: [laughs] I’m just saying!
ART: Come on now. [laughter]
ALI: I wasn’t making the move! Me as a player.
NICK: I wanted to see Fero do his 360 kickflip into bear. [laughter]
AUSTIN: Well, speaking of things! Also! The Great Phantasmo is gone.
NICK: [pause] Yep.
JACK: Oh! Yeah, we should probably try and communicate with him in some way? [laughs] Like,
shouting, where are you? Where did you go? You know, standard.
KEITH (as Fero): Tazzy!
ALI: Yeah, I - [laughs]
KEITH: I yell - I yell for Tazzy. [ART laughs] [cross] Roll for yell.
[#01:25:02#]
NICK: [cross] Oh, Tazzy, that’s your nickname? [laughs]
AUSTIN: Uh huh.
NICK: Um. [laughs] I say.
(as Phantasmo, weakly): Is the skeleton creature dead?
[MUSIC FADES OUT]
END OF EPISODE