The Mutiny of Keely Hall

A Sapphic Swashbuckling Whodunnit

You’re probably wondering why I’ve called you here.

Lydia Griffith and Winklynn Ubwerks have dissolved their marriage, but cannot afford to do the same with their private investigation firm. And it’s awkward! Very very awkward!
But it can get worse, when one dark and stormy morning, a client needs help solving a murder.

…
HIS OWN!

(he’s a skeleton)

The Mutiny of Keely Hall: A Sapphic Swashbuckling Whodunnit is an upcoming steampunk audio drama podcast.

Our team previously produced "Real-Time Fandub" and "Mystery Shack Lookback", and are ready to create a world of our own.

And it needs to be MUCH gayer than the Disney properties we've been analyzing in our previous work. That's what our transgender Sapphic souls need.

Plus, there's a talking skeleton for the kids!

We have always been a comedy team by nature, and are looking for two very funny people to voice our leading ladies!

Are YOU gay and funny? Step forth, and display those skills in action!

Audition Guidelines

Send your audition files to mutinyofkeelyhall@gmail.com
Give your submission email the subject line, “Keely Hall Audition - [Your Name/Stage Name]”

Example: Keely Hall Audition - Charlotte Driftwood

Title your file "[Character First Name]_[FirstNameLastName]”

Example: Keely_CharlotteDriftwood

WAV or MP3 files are accepted.
You may record a maximum of three (3) takes for each line, but please only send multiple takes if they are sufficiently different from one another

If sending multiple takes, record them in ABCABC format.

If you have any character demos, please feel free to share them.
Please do not edit your voice or add any special effects to your audition file

There are no requirements for your recording setup, but you are expected to have high-quality audio that is free of background noise

The final audition deadline is November 29, 2025 at 11:59 pm
This is for a pilot we intend to use to advertise a crowdfunding campaign.
You would be paid $100 for your work on the pilot, which would take 2 hours maximum.
We want to pay you what you're worth! If you're cast we would love to discuss your ideal rate for the rest of the project, should it receive funding.

Winklynn Hydrochoerinae Ubwerks (F)

Steampunk Tinkerer Detective

Info: 5’2 (short), 26 years old, Bisexual

Character Description: Winklynn grew up as an only child to an overly supportive mother. She was never discouraged from pursuing anything, so she has pursued everything. Inventor, tinkerer, amateur chemist, smutty self-insert fanfiction author; she is really a Jill of all Trades. She has far too much education, and she speaks as if to prove it.
A ball of energy and sunshine, but also a world-class pedant who is not only WILLING to correct you on anything, but EXCITED to. The Nerd. A manic pixie dream girl. So much energy, so much caffeine, so much AuDHD.

Vocal Type: Soprano/higher register in a fairy/pixie way. Needs to be able to say a lot of multisyllabic words very quickly while maintaining vocal clarity. UK or Ireland-born talent is highly encouraged, but willing to hear other dialects. Use your natural accent or one you’re comfortable maintaining.

Character References (linked within): Entrapta if she was a character in Alice In Wonderland.

The sass/poshness of Jane from Disney’s Tarzan.
The timbre of Moaning Myrtle (but fuck Harry Potter, maybe open that one incognito before the algorithm starts recommending other stuff made by Nazis)

Winklynn Hydrochoerinae Ubwerks

Sides

LINE 1:

Pardon me, sirs, but all I have ascertained is that YOU have never read the books, as everyone knows that Bradley Wainwright did not receive his signature ascot until the third novel, The Dastardly Dinner Theater Debacle, as a gift from his Uncle Trolleyham. While his neckwear was left vague in his first adventure, A Research In Rouge, the knot he is described tying in the mirror in Chapter 10 is almost certainly “the butterfly”, which would hardly make sense for an ascot, cravat, jabot, necktie, or any other—

LINE 2:

(sheepishly, as if brushing her hair behind her ear)

Well, actually, I do enjoy some dashing female protagonists too.

(even quieter, shy af)

… I like anyone who looks good in a suit.

LINE 3:

Look, I know we agreed to keep our business operational even after our… separation, but I’m beginning to wonder if that’s feasible. We’re starved for clients as it is, and who wants two private EYES that don’t work together? Think of the optometry bills!

Lydia Griffith (F)

Victorian Gentleman Detective

Info: 6’ (tall), 30 years old, Very Lesbian

Character Description: Lydia grew up insecure with exclusively masculine role models. But her history is not relevant to anyone she meets from this point forward. She has reinvented herself with the traits of a fictional masculine detective who no one is actually like in real life. Is she any good at this masc mask? Not really! She is still a very insecure, whiny, and cowardly goofball, and bad at hiding it. Don’t tell her you noticed! One might assume Winklynn is the weird one. Don’t let your ex-wife win this. As we see more of Lydia's mask slip throughout the show, I want it to be clear: Lydia is the weird one, Winklynn is in second and not close second, on lap ⅓.

Vocal Type: Deep voice. Deeper voice than you’re used to a woman having. She is a sarcastic asshole through and through, but tries to make her snark sound cool and chill. (She might not succeed, and might come across grumpy). No particular accent in mind. Use your natural accent, or one you’re comfortable maintaining.

Character References (linked within): If Kate McKinnon was cast as Indiana Jones, Dean Winchester, or Tulio from Road to El Dorado. She's not the Jessica Rabbit of the group; she's the Eddie Valiant.

Winklynn is a normal human nerd, Lydia is Scooby-Doo in sunglasses and a fedora trying to make Shaggy laugh by acting like a badass

Lydia Griffith

Sides

LINE 1:

C’mon, I’ll give you a boost. It’s the least I could do after you saved me from those chumps. Though I should probably learn your name if you're about to start straddling my neck. I'm Lydia.

(grunts)

Loosen your legs a touch though, don't want you to choke me. Good thing I’m not a dashing male protagonist, or you might enjoy that.

LINE 2:

(as being forced to get out of bed to answer the doorbell)

… Well now I gotta check without the trademarked Ubwerks filter of whimsical delusion…

(beat)

(terrified)

You know, I like to think of myself as someone who can admit when she's wrong. That's a walking pirate skeleton.

LINE 3:

(attempting to sound schmoozy, but actually just trying to get this famous murderer out of your house asap because this is horrifying. Maybe she can solve the case on a technicality and get rid of him early?)

Look Bones, 9 times out of 10, the killer is whoever has the most to gain from the Mutiny. You’ve got a first mate who's being crowned Captain right about now. Done, fork over the dough.