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DAN AND PHIL VS PHANS KART CLASH EXTREME

DAN AND PHIL VS PHANS KART CLASH AFTERPARTY VOD

watch:

main

pham only

-they put everyone straight into an ad rip

-okay first thing i am seeing is this old meme what the hell

-67 in the chat immediately

-”you remembered the ancient texts” phil talking about the doot meme

-“has it been 30 seconds yet you’re not allowed to swear in the first 30 seconds of a video” -phil

-hi to people in chat

-”my ankle hurts. well stop doing ankle play then”

-unroll your ankle

-what about if the world all had the same time

-then it’s just a sphere

-one dimensional line earth

-they just had a barbecue with lester family and dan had 3 wines

-red wine and rose

-and creme caramel from m&s

-dont drink and drive. Driving stream after drinking

-patreon questions incoming

-talk about muse

-the new album is growing on dan

-phil listened while tidying the house

-almost a no skip album

-phil doesn’t like ‘the sickness in you and i’ because he doesn't like matt bellamy’s ‘FREAKKKK’

-phil doesn't like shrill sounds

-which is crazy to say when dan is right there

-how long would it take for you to notice someone has switched bodies with your partner and what question would you ask them?

-this is the top liked question so it is democratically selected

        “what is in my pocket?”

        “have you got a SQUARE COCK!”

        “pockets are very on the side”

        “what are you wearing that has a front pocket”

        “i think i left my phone on the barbecue”

-phil.

-it’s being mauled by wasps

-phil has eyedrops and eye wipes in his pocket

-dan would take about 3.5 seconds to notice if phil was a clone because of his weird blinking

-his blinks are longer than a normal blink

-”how many times did phil hit you under the table in the new zealand interview. congrats on saying twink on live tv”

-they dont need to do press but certain places they have to promote because they sold less tickets there

-new zealand tv reached out to invite them because fans who work there set it up and briefed them that they would answer new zealand q’s

-they were ready to talk about hokey pokey ice cream

-but were immediately asked “how famous are you”

-how do you answer that without coming across as a wanker

-phil asked to answer the first q and then was speechless and tagged dan in to answer immediately

-it was a 2012 ass interview but the news guy was hot

-”im not very good at talking to attractive people… sorry that sounded like shade to you because i can talk to you fine”

-sentences by phil lester

-they will probably boot up the sims 4 again before they go on tour

-(looking very suspicious while saying this tho as if they already filmed it)

-what furniture would each other be

-phil would be a weird chair

-“i would be sat on”

-dan would be a video game controller because he likes dark things and vibrates

-“you like to stick your thumb on my knob”

-????????????

-dan would be a lava lamp

-because he has a warmth to him and he’s unpredictable

-watch the intro of buffy every time because they have special things u might miss

-phouse phlood update

-we think they’re gonna fix while on tour

-whatever builders sleep in phil’s bed for all he cares

-lots of dehumidifiers

-insurance paying for fix because they didn’t create slip n slide or engage in dolphin play

-let’s play mario kart world

-communication error occurred. mash a get ready.

-dan is swoop the bat phil is peepa the ghost

-bat on w twin chopper, ghost on roadster royale bc phil likes the colors

-who the fuck picks a lobster kart

-S2TPWV code

-room full immediately

-fucking hell you fucking nerds get a grip

-150cc no teams

-we’re all having communal fun and you have to root for everyone that isn’t dnp

-which one of you degenerates chose an intermission for choco mountain

-it’s full of men thumbs down emoji

-LOCK IN EVERYONE

-theyre trying to say hi to everyones names while racing and theyre being bombarded by items

-find them doxx them

-max you’re going in prison

-dan in 18th and phil in 3rd after everyone bullied dan lol

-isnt mario singlehandedly enforcing the law here

-who cares about cops theres women being kidnapped

-dan bullet billed to 1st then immediately knocked out

-phil back at 13th

-”piss! i’m pissing down my leg. i just drowned in the poo” -phil (chocolate not poo)

-hope a lesbian wins

-final: dan 3rd, phil 18th.

-“you guys are really good”

-a chat member said “colon mountain”

-a lesbian DID win let’s go lesbians

-judging the aesthetic of everyone’s character and kart combos

-dan is not a fan of the ostrich

-vampire waluigi on the dolphin kart

-poll: do you like phils mint car?

-“be on the right side of phistory… i take that back” -dan

-”he fell off”

-”get on my level howell”

-”you fucking bitch why would you cuck me right before the shortcut”

-phil asked him to take that word back because that is a fan hes yelling at

-phils in first

-STOP THE COUNT

-“im gonna horn anyone who touches my ass. i’m gonna horn ya”

-they both got bob bombed

-phil asking dan to narrate

-dan said he wouldn't go silent if they both race but he did lol

-dan finished first

-scripted

-phil finished 5th which is better than ‘26th or whatever last time’

-leaving room to reset to let new people in

-lesbian katelyn did really well

-because of misogyny dan won

-theyre both called phil on the screen

-shoutout to the fish on the scooter

-you should not be live while playing mariokart

-dan wouldn’t unironically swear at my audience and say he’s going to cum on the floor it’s a bit

-end poll

-can you hear this lofi in the background

-no girl we cannot

-let’s crank it

-i get so gay off that tequila

-check out the new danandphilbeats

-make a pizza to it

-specifically

-they both use electric toothbrushes

-don’t scrub with electric toothbrushes (i didn’t know this wtf)

-phil has lost an eyelash

-make a wish

-now he’s going to win the next race thank you

-tour spoilers but only using sounds

-wow

-reverse

-meep meep

-pop

-microwave beeps

-explosion

-phil going to sort out his eyes

-phil’s left let’s talk shit

-”beautiful disaster says ‘phil how-’ okay im not answering any more questions”

-new hard launch tour shows are being added but they can’t say yet

-one of them WILL be new jersey

-phil put drops in

-phil is talking about how he found out his migraine food triggers

-he has triple pd/pppd

-try going a week or two without a suspected trigger food

-then have a sneaky bit of it and see how you feel over the next few days

-because trigger foods can take days to cause a migraine

-it can be caused by loads of stuff

-bad sleep the worst trigger

-fmk rainbow road moo moo meadows bowsers castle

-marry rainbow bc gay rights

-fuck bowser’s castle

-kill moo moo meadows

-they are getting haircuts but just trims

-the dullet isn’t going anywhere

-place your bets on one of the racers and if they win you get a prize.

-faraway oasis is so fun

-phil just loves animals

-what are shy guys. not animals just a guy

-peach beach is a bad choice

-literal worst thing in the game

-jimothy in chat

-do you think jimothy will last longer than moo deng

-you just stole my item MOLI

-i’m gonna bash em off the course

-phil big and squashing everyone

-get squashed

-phil fell off the bloody waterfall

-do you know rooting means sex in australia

-robert irwin is one of five australians phil knows

-can we all drive in a straight line

-Straight Pride

-no drive gayly in a straight line

-how is dan reading chat and driving

-someone’s got crabs

-how do you treat crabs

-maybe with larger crabs

-it’s antibiotics, babes

-phil keeps squashing

-dan 7th, phil 21st

-who’s bullying phil

-“stand up for me, howell”

-smash or pass a letter of the alphabet

-Q is kind of aggressive

-phil would smash W

-pass on Q and F

-phil thinks R would be a smash

-not thinking about shape but philosophically

-chat thinks J is sexy

-phil got his faraway oasis

-whys there no Q hype

-Quentin is crying

-they kind of fixed mariokart so you cant just brake at start for the best items but everyone gets same items at the first 30 seconds now

-who’s that one sweat who took the shortcut

-Q. i could fix her

-dan in 24th despite TWO bullet bills

-phil in 4th currently

-don’t do it chloe. FUCK. CHLOE.

-you have no idea how much he needed that

-phil crashing out

-the stress has got to him

-dan 6th phil 22nd after being in love with the wall

-He’s wall sexual. Wall trauma.

-one more and be nice to phil so he can win it hard

-advice for driving test. Stop watching

-final race

-dan needs to stop reading the chat and lock in but he likes reading it

-phil is not even gonna speak or think

-phil in 1st and dan 14th

-STOP THE COUNT

-holly knocked him back

-this is a dangerous way to treat the road

-what are chain chomps thinking about all day

-are they happy they seem stressed and chained to the floor

-are they hungry

-why does the mushroom kingdom just let them eat people

-chat leave phil alone

-phil 8th dan 13th

-overall dan 7th phil 19th out of second set of races

-one more set of races over on patreon afterparty

-phil gets spooky tingles on sept 20th

-true spook 1st october

-what letter of the alphabet has the most milkable energy

-I because if you turn it around it has a little bit dripping out

-chat said E and they agree

-B needs to be more Nippely

-nj show update coming soon they’re nailing down the venue

-shoutout to new jersey

-we were throwing it back

-not like that

-like as in throwback to 2018 racing streams

-saying bye to people in chat

-podcast tomorrow, hard monday

-it’s a good one

-thanks for joining & hope you have a great day and wonderful sleep

PHAM AFTERPARTY

-He’s Back

-whats up chattell roan

-it’s gold doot again

-they need a holding screen

-dan searched ‘dan and phil meme’ and that was the first pic that appeared

-welcome to the afterparty you are the pit crew

-you have to do the oil changes and the tires

-we’re trying to say thank you for supporting us

-did you enjoy twilight we feel bad we were mean about it before

-have to plan next movie night with u guys

-what is the worst mario kart character

-phil hates piranha plant bc it was enemy/weapon before in older game and it’s confusing

-not obsession for philm club, want something a little more campy

-spooky film club possible

-do you think ‘this will be good for the pod’ and not share it til later? yes.

-will there be a tour trailer

-they did in past and people with questions were like we have so many questions about where/when/what

-while it’s cool it’s not info people need

-they don’t have footage of them on stage doing tour so you have to wait and see

-what do rehearsals look like do you memorize word for word

-phil's not good at that there's a rough construct and prompts for popups on screen and things

-phil stands up and pretends he's on stage in the living room

-he's a tactile learner

-which are into pet play

-All of them. Tanooki Mario.

-what r u most excited about this tour

-not having to hide & being ourselves

-always was scared of “what if i say something crazy and irreversibly gay”

-phil’s mouth will be as loose for a goose

-named wheelchair neil the wheel

-what was filming youtube rewind like

-okay let’s play mariokart now

-they went to a warehouse and they weren’t fed and just kinda got yelled at for stranger things filming

-setting up game now

-phil was doing bad as ghost so now is stingbee

-dan is drybones in baby blooper

-phil in boat (funky dorie)

-not many good switch 2 exclusives but dan liked donkey kong

-dan excited for duskbloods

-who just chose peach stadium

-they just did

-dan is gonna queef

-phil does not want a reverse queef

-saved by dry bones burnout

-someone chose the piranha plant because phil said he was scared

-oh there's two of them

-phil needs weed killer

-dan keeps reading chat and playing worse

-phil said BYE BYE and dan said GAY GAY

-”who took my fucking mushroom when i was about to do the longest shortcut ever”

-“i'm doing a longcut.”

-that was intentionally griefing whos throwing bananas forward

-how ripe do you like your banana

-i don’t think you can ask a gay person that

-dan calling mods to ban sam the surfer in patreon chat

-you guys are great at mariokart putting phil to shame

-dan is going to kamek you all

-dan went from 1st to 21st bc he was blue shelled while gliding and fell in lava.

-dan came 2nd phil 5th

-the first four minutes of that meant nothing and last 6 seconds he went from 21st to 2nd

-looking at phils shirt it’s an anime face on a weird rodent creature

-it lowkey looks like dan

-phil wore bc that’s how he gets during mariokart

-hoping for wario stadium

-get a plane to hartford it’ll be fun says phil

-loads of bees in the pharden at the moment

-infested with red admiral butterflies

-they’re creating nature

-the bush shook when phil walked by

-you can’t ask someone why their bush shakes

-there's an antibiotic for that.

-got struck by lightning in race

-this boat is shit never drive a boat

-phil’s on the right, he’s a bee

-dan’s on the left, he’s cheating.

-dan finished 1st, phil 13th

-they saw odyssey twice, once 70mm once 33mm

-get tix even if you can't see it in film

-all you’re seeing is more water and extra landscapes

-sound was so good

-it has one of the loudest sounds recorded in cinema

-they set an alarm to get imax tickets bc they're nerds for respecting film formats

-jersey city updates soon but phil said he doesnt like the word soon

-bus only for the american leg of the tour

-you choose the bus and the driver of the bus owns the bus and they clean it and drive it

-sometimes there’s two drivers and they each do half the tour

-possible bus in europe because of back to back city dates but europe driving is quite turny and tossy because of the roads

-”everybody attack dan.” “no.” “attack him he already won.”

-the show has lots of sections with audience interaction but there's a main theme for all of them

-it’s nice for audience but also for them to not do the same thing every day and lose their marbles

-also because phil is not so good at scripts

-never using the boat again

-dan showing off mariokart hacks

-dan finished 1st again, phil in 16th

-dan is hacking well done dan

-it’s because he’s driving on the left

-audience is so locked in and good at mario kart

-dan 1st overall phil 10th overall

-thanks guys that was a hoot that was a holler

-phatreon. any more questions

-drawer check

-it’s full of shame and sadness

-on the plane phil likes window over legroom, dan likes legroom

-planes can make phil dizzy if theres nothing to rest his head on

-they’d like to collab with americans on tour

-they need to make some calls

-it’s hard monday eve

-phil’s family is there

-so they’re gonna play scrabble

-and watch Furious

-thanks & byes to chatters

-look forward to philm club & another livestream coming