(Trigger warning: Mentions of Sexual Assault (SA), Rape, Death Threats, Racism, Suicide, Depression and Assault.)
I figured it was best laid out to respond to everything in order of the video he has posted,
I apologise for the prompt tweet replies but having this suddenly all resurface after a year is very triggering, Especially when I'm being accused of lying despite providing solid evidence of events.
I’m hoping that after this, I won’t have to constantly explain or defend my story, but after hearing the endless lies in the video, I can’t just stay silent—no one could. There’s a lot I need to take responsibility for, like my choice of words, but I can't just sit back and let a completely fabricated version of this story be told.
I take responsibility for the confusion my previous statement caused. I realise now that my words were not acceptable and that I should've been more direct. It's not everyday someone has to publicly address a situation like this, I did that to myself and I should've expected something like this.
However, I anticipated he would resort to the "lying route" as I cautioned in my previous statement.
I intend to be fully transparent and provide all supporting documentation. However, due to the age of the evidence (nearly 2 years) and the process of gathering it all together, it might take a long time and this will be a very long document.
Firstly, I sincerely apologize for any confusion resulting from my initial statement. Due to our interactions, which often occurred on a weekly, if not on a daily basis, it would have been practically impossible to include every single argument and exchange in one single document. As I noted previously, the document would have 1000+ pages. Therefore, I chose to focus on the most traumatic experiences, highlighting the specific actions that caused me pain. It breaks my heart hearing that in the video he makes claims of 'mutual abuse', being publicly discredited is upsetting. My reactions towards him were deeply rooted in genuine emotional responses to specific, often harmful, situations. While I acknowledge that my responses were sometimes imperfect, I also made mistakes in reacting the way that I did by the hurt inflicted upon me. It's an indescribable feeling when confronted with blatant fabrications of the truth. It is a horrible feeling to have someone who caused these events, deny the events that they know very well occurred.
I'm sorry for the offensive words I used to hurt Alex back, calling him a retard, autistic, fat, I knew it was wrong and I used these words to try to hurt him back for hurting me so much. I take full accountability for this and I should've been more transparent in my first document where I had said I went down to his level with insults back at him. These words are wrong to use and I have been bettering myself since this relationship. I hope I haven't offended anyone and if I have, I really am deeply sorry and full of regret. I have been ashamed. I felt like I had to use these words to hurt him back and I used anything I could think of.
The narrative of saying I had been threatening and abusing throughout the whole relationship is false, and I'll debunk every statement made about it. I've always said I was never innocent and I reacted back to things he said and did, I said that in my first statement. I definitely wasn't innocent towards the end, and i'll admit i was toxic at the end of our relationship because i really grew to hate the position i was in, i had been promised everything would get better after i moved in and that will be proven (he claimed there was no talk about being worried to move in together, yet i put it in my original statement). Im reliving this all again and the manipulation is still happening in that video.
I know I was toxic after all this. I wish it wasn't who I turned into, but it was, and I have to admit to that.
I haven't lied about anything I said in my first statement, everything I wrote there happened.
The videos I linked in my first statement of Alex threatening violence is dated may, having just made it official in march, this abusive language was implemented early in the relationship by him, months and months of this could change anyone and i'm sorry to myself mostly for staying in this and becoming as toxic as i did.
To say I lied about going to the police about this, claiming that to be on Clare's law you must be convicted, is false. I reported everything I could to the police with the evidence I posted and more, this has been put down on record. That does not mean he was convicted or contacted. I was given the option to take Alex to court and also get a restraining order because of the threats to kill and harm me. I didnt and dont have it in me to go through court and looking back now i should’ve. Nothing went further as i posted online about this, i wasn't given a reason as to why it was dropped, i was just told it has been put down and will be there under his name and if he contacted me again to let them know so they can take this further.
Saying i keep posting about him and his “personal issues” ? which isn't the case, i post about MY issues and MY experience, my posts are only ever me talking about moving from this, and having a hard time moving from the traumatic things he had done to me. I can talk about what happened to me as much as i want to, regardless of anyone's opinion on it and trying to silence me will not work.
Claiming i've been harassing him for a year, when i have been harassed by multiple burner accounts baiting a reaction and conversation about alex, all i am doing is replying i am not harassing him by clearing up misinformation and rage bait.
On twitter i received many of mean comments trying to spin this narrative that he has now come out with, i had at least 10 new accounts and more come at me for the same exact things so it was obviously one person, i apologise for responding but it's hard not to, i fell for a lot of the rage bait given to me. It's hard coming out about so much and being instantly shut down, me replying to bait doesn't prove any inconsistencies, it proves that I didn't know what was best for me and I was defending myself. I've been defending myself for so long it's all I think to do.
Claiming I kept changing my original doc is false, everytime i click onto it, it sets that as the last edited date. I changed nothing in that document at any point after releasing it all publicly and I'd like to add I had two other editors on the document.
The last time it was edited was June 15th 2024.
Responding to my cropped screenshots cropping out his name, i didnt include this for obvious reasons that it was offensive, childish and very fucked up. Hiding it was wrong and i should've explained then and there why i did that. using that word is inexcusable and i am ashamed by it. I thought adding this in would discredit what he had done to me and that was selfishly my main point to put out. It was more because he would throw this word around as an insult towards me, which i gave evidence on in my first statement of him chasing me around the house screaming at me. In no way am i racist and im so sorry i ever did this, i'm just extremely stupid for doing it and ignorant with my choice of words when i named him that in my phone. I mention alex using racist words because he used them on me aggressively, not once have i ever used this word in an aggressive way and i was ignorant for even using words to imply this word like the shrimp comment i made to him while we were joking around.
The screenshots I'm going to show are triggering, but I'm showing this to prove I did not use this language like Alex did, nor did I bring this language into the relationship.
I took accountability for this, and will never stop apologising for it.
The physical claims he has made are the ones i stated in my first statement and then ones he has tried to claim i had done when i hadn’t.
I explained I had slapped him in the face out of retaliation, and had an incident of “pushing” him off of me. These claims are true. But to change a push into a “punch” then “punch in the face” is a lie.
The screenshot he gave is me denying kicking him, and referring to his previous messages where he says i kicked him alot and hard, which is why i say “i didn't kick you multiple times and hard” i can see how this has been taken another way, but all im doing here is denying that happened and telling him i pushed him away. I was more taken aback that his narrative had changed as I explained in my first statement where he goes on to start playing victim to me after he understands that I am coming out about what he had done.
I'm admitting pushing him away from me was uncalled for, not admitting to kicking, because that didn't happen.
He states I was “physically abusing him regularly” which is a damaging lie. Not only does he say this, he denies ever being physical with me. He has spun this 180.
He then said in his video that i “donkey kicked him in the head and neck until he was out of the bed” this was again a lie, and i pushed alex off me in bed, after arguing like this i did not want to be near alex i did not physically kick him out of the bed or in the head like he claims and not once did he ever bring this up to me because he is manipulating a story to fit the narrative that i “beat him”.
For a response that took a year, I'm not sure why saying “donkey kicked” while laying in bed in the head and neck was well thought out, that is physically impossible to kick behind like that and I would never do this to anyone.
His story keeps changing.
He claims I lied about him ever being diagnosed, and at the time it was not a lie. Throughout the whole relationship I told him to seek therapy and receive the help he needed and he didn't. He said he tried therapy and it didn't work, this was for his general health nothing in particular sparked this, just how he was towards work and friends.
He has now since the date in that picture been diagnosed, which I was completely unaware of. Our last date of contact was 29th may 2024
So yes I said he wasn't diagnosed because that is what I knew.
In his diagnosis it reads that he was aggressive towards me (undeniable), and that he would have “anger outbursts” this completely contradicts his story that he has made in this video, as he's saying he would always express sadness, crying, and being abused when that is not the truth.
He says i showed no proof of him threatening to discredit my side of the story and threatening me to not come out with this publicly, when he came to me manipulating a story he made claiming he will use the fact i “hit him” after he received messages of me admitting to slapping him once, which i never hid or denied. You can see his inconsistencies in these claims he makes as it started with a slap, moved onto a punch, and now he is claiming kicks and “regular physical abuse” and “donkey kicks in the head and neck” i am so so clear and will always admit my wrongs, yes it was wrong to slap him that one time but it was all i felt i could do to get myself out of the situation i was in at the time.
All I can offer here is the whole uncropped version of this conversation so I apologize this will be a very long document, but I feel that's what is necessary here. Before i didn't share every single message as i was trying to show what he had done to me, and not the whole relationship i understand how this has now come back on me and made me look like i was trying to paint myself as a saint, but i had stated in the first document that i am not innocent. I admit to my wrongs and always have. But in no way was the abuse I received “mutual”. In the proof I gave in my first statement you have a clear cut look on the inside of what Alex was like with me, and how aggressive he was. yes i said mean things, yes i slapped him once to defend myself and yes things got toxic and i started avoiding and not liking being around him, that is down to being abused.
Here there's already inconsistencies in his story as he never claims i hit him regularly, never claims i donkey kick him in the head and neck, never claims the abuse he has in his video response that is all NEW.
Going to the message where i mention people heard him, i never released this information as people know publicly who alex had and has lived with, i will never mention the name of the person as i would never want to involve other people into this but i will attach the message i received after you have seen this whole conversation.
I don’t believe anything he's telling me, as this had all been said after the fact - after the relationship ended, after he saw I was posting related content, after he thought I was going to go public. Which I’d like to mention at this point I had 0 plans on making any statement or go public, it was the messages of him telling me to keep quiet about it that influenced my decision, and the raw fact that i wanted to clear up why i had been tip toeing around on tiktok at the time. I wanted to share what he had done to me not as an act to harm him, but to speak about abuse and what he put me through.
I felt pressured to tell my side and that's my own fault, because I hinted at abusive behaviours as a way of venting and crying out for help.
Claims I was planning on exposing him for a while, I wasn't. I wrote the first statement in a few days, and yes i had screenshots, yes i had clips, if you were with an abusive partner you would keep these things, no i didn't put them in folders and think “yes i'll post those”. If me keeping screenshots and clips of abusive horrible behaviour of an ex is “guilty” I'm not sure how to defend myself there, a lot of people do this to cope, or to talk to friends. I felt the need to always have at least 2 people in my life in the know so in case anything happened to me, like he had threatened, someone would know what was going on.
Yes i posted tiktoks about being treated like shit, i got out of this relationship and was traumatised for months on end afterwards it was a way for me to cope. After removing someone that did do all of these things to me out of my life i wanted to scream it out loud.
Here you can again see inconsistencies in his story and his new story in the video.
When I say I was empathetic towards him, it's because after almost all major arguments, he would sit and tell me it's because of outside noise, something else going on that made him speak to me in a certain way or be shitty to me. I forgave him alot, which is why I was with him for so long because I believed him. Let it be known, that in this conversation and a few before I have ZERO empathy for Alex, I'm drained, I'm out, and I feel nothing towards him.
This is the argument where he claims i punched him over the cat, he claims there were messages, there wasn't and he lied. I pulled up the messages in the original statement saying that i had PUSHED him off of me, and i included the messages, ill attach them again here and the full messages are in my first statement. He had the cat in his arms and was saying very strange comments like he's going to take the cat away. He blew up after this, screaming and yelling telling me to move out because I pushed him off and took the cat to another room after he made that weird comment. It was first I “tried” to hit him (pushed), This has developed into a “punch” and did when he felt he needed something on me to get leeway in being shitty to me whenever i was upset with something he did.
“You fucking pushed me”
And i go
“OFF me”
I wish I could show how aggressive he really was in person, these texts were always after the shitty argument and he'd gone somewhere like in his office to then text me like this, i'm always in defence.
Not once does he claim his new story of “she hit me regularly” “she slapped me all the time” this is because it didn't happen.
Wanna mention he's saying “but it isn't true” after his message “you act like i just deny it” before anyone tries to spin that. He has since deleted MANY messages, once admitting to dragging me, when he now claims in his video that “it didn't happen”.
And i still stand by what i say here, in his video he has denied all physical abuse he had given me, which is inconsistent as i have the voice message of him admitting to kicking me, which i will add onto this, he has tried to make out i begged for voice notes to use against him, this wasn't the case at all, i just never wanted to call him and he kept saying he needs to call me to say sorry or explain things.
I told him he didn't do that because I didn't believe he actually showed them what he really said and did, which is now confirmed to me as in his diagnosis it mentions he has denied any physical acts he made on me.
There's texts of him admitting to kicking me he says it was to “get my attention” and a “joke”
There's a voice note admitting to kicking me and there's many many many times where I bring up the same story of him dragging me. He did those things.
I mention to him to say sorry publicly meaning to settle the tiktoks i had made, not threatening anything else here or telling him i'm coming out. This was the reason for him messaging me was the concern of backlash he would receive after my tiktok i made about being treated like shit by a past ex, no name mentioned.
“Its true so” is in response to his message calling it “public speculation”
This is the transcript I received from a house mate of his.
About me not wanting to be near him, i pushed him away from me in bed as he was trying to cuddle and be close to me after everything he had done to me, i was holding a grudge for a very long time after the night he dragged me to the floor, this is why i was toxic after. Not once in these messages does he claim the donkey kick to his head because that is a lie.
In his video he instantly says this statement here is a lie, that it didn't happen and that his proof of this not happening was because i didn't text him about it on that day. We lived together, I didn't need to text him immediately after. But I did text him multiple times AFTER the event happened on different days that he does not show. This is inconsistent and a lie on his part. There is no accountability taken for this argument and it's heartbreaking to hear it be called a lie by the man who did it. This was one of the main events that turned me sideways. After this happened I went to the point of avoiding him and not wanting to be around him.
His excuse for doing this was that i can't be screaming in a rented house and that he had to do something to stop it. When in reality, the screaming from both ends wasn't stopping, so I tried walking away. Alex never liked when I dismissed something like this by walking away for the moment or not talking at the time as I needed to get away and breathe. That is when he grabbed the hood of my dressing gown, he pulled me and I fell to the floor. He's in my face at this point telling me to not go anywhere and that's when i get up to get to the bathroom, in which he stops me, holds me in a headlock and at this time yes i am screaming. He covered my mouth and told me to stop screaming, I got him off me and locked myself in the bathroom where he continued to scream at me calling me crazy, telling me to move out after what he had just done. THIS HAPPENED. His reasoning to do this was to shut me up as he was scared to be kicked out of the house as it's rented. This happened in the AM, it was a stupid time i can't remember if it was before or after sleep, so yes going onto the next day i tried to move past this. I excused his actions because of my screaming and was still trying to process what had happened to me. In multiple conversations after this happened, I threatened that if he got physical again I would leave. I tried leaving the situation and he did not let me.
The screenshot he shares just proves we weren't in a good place because I was sleeping away from him downstairs.
Again more of his “proof” it didn't happen was the fact I spoke about pokemon cards with him 3 days later. When he is the one buying them trying to make a mense. It's in his own screenshot.
He always went the route of buying things to gain my forgiveness on multiple occasions, instead of changing his actions and doing better he threw money at our issues and moved on.
The reason why my screenshots say “today” is because i took them to send to my friend, to say i finally had the bollocks to tell my parents what had been happening to me, it took me a lot to finally tell them that their daughter was going through this and didn't know what to do.
Here are the texts between my parents and me, with the dates. This is the first time I ever tell them anything is wrong.
I hadn't been planning on using this in a document as he claims, This was for me and my personal circle and had let them know I finally told my parents. He keeps claiming this never happened and I guess he will never own up to it, so I'll leave that there.
Alex claims that on this night we argue over him being in bed where he says “donkey kick his head and neck” is the night where he dragged me saying he “grabbed me” this whole story he tells is fabricated and two different nights. He also mentions the cat situation again and slips up, saying he is in bed talking to the cat. When the “cat” situation happened we were in the kitchen, he uses screenshots constantly from different conversations to create new ones.
Here is a conversation where he takes me calling him horrible names and cuts out context to add it to this new story, like i have said many times everything i ever said to him was a reaction to shitty things he had said to me first, this was a massive trigger to me as i begged him to stop insulting me.
After the “sorry” message we called and it by no surprise went shitty.
He claims in his video that his fungal skin condition gets worse because of me, and that I hated him having his shirt off because of this. This isn't true, i didnt ever judge Alex for this and I even helped him try to get better. I helped put on his cream daily. Not once do I shame Alex for this and there isn't any proof of his lies.
He then said this is why i “kicked him” and called him fat, i'm sorry for using words that are body shaming insults like “fat” but i never actually meant these words, im at my breaking point and retaliating in no way was i doing it because i was “sick” of alex being a certain way, alex isn't fat i just used the word in my insults for example “fat wanker”. I said I go just as low as Alex, and getting verbal abuse from Alex every argument is enough to push me there. I'm sorry if this offended anyone.
What Alex has is a fungal skin infection brought on from being unhygienic, he told me about his depressive past where he didn't look after himself years before we met. He then goes to claim it got worse and was only itchy when i “hit him” this again is a lie, his infection got worse as he avoided putting on his cream daily, i kept reminding him and helping him put this on but he was lazy with it and wasn't consistent, he was also allergic to bear as he is allergic to cats, that made his itching worse. The first time around where it started to clear up he said he didn't need to use it anymore as it was “gone” but i kept telling him to keep using it as it was still slightly there, it then came back bigger and more itchy.
Alex always told me in bed that he was itchy and never once was this from anyone being physical, I was not. I didn’t judge alex for this and i knew it was not contagious so i did not care about it or about him being shirtless etc, i was with him for 8 months, staying at each other's houses and sleeping in the same bed for him to now say when living together i switched up is a lie.
He claims i said all of this to hide the fact i apparently “slapped, kicked and punched” him THROUGHOUT the relationship, that is a fabricated lie
I own up to all of my actions made, even directly to Alex in messages. When I pushed him off me a few times he made me uncomfortable, and slapped him once.
I'm not scared of owning up to the wrongs I have done, and slapping him was wrong. I know it was and deep down I felt so much regret. To the point on that date, as I left his flat after slapping him, I rang up my friend instantly and told him what had happened and what I had done. On the messages dated 26th september.
He claims proof of me lying about multiple stories is writing them down after I had moved out, but I wrote that last story in there as I never included it thinking it wasn't that bad. He states that this last story is a lie. Which is… a lie. And I can prove that again.
He says writing any date on a notes app is in no way proof that it happened, and I never claim it was proof, I mention that I wrote these things down to remind myself I need to leave.
So quickly here's the proof he DID break my glasses and lied about it in this video.
The money he sent to replace them after admitting to me he broke them.
On the 28th we argued and he kicked me, i told him if he was physical again that i would leave so that is when i packed a few things and left, in my first statement that is the video i attached of him screaming at me around the house as im packing to leave, which can be proven with messages FROM THAT DATE as that seems to be important to him to make a point of proof. This will also debunk his claims of me threatening him with police, i did do that, threats to post him being abusive yes i did do that because that's all i could do to make him stop. He was threatening to damage my belongings. I will include the whole conversation here.
“Can't believe you left over cleaning the kitchen” that is not why, and i say it MULTIPLE times, he spins this in a way to make me look and sound crazy to the point it made me actually feel crazy.
Context of this story is, he had planned his parents to come over the next day for dinner so I started my day off with cleaning because I was the only one who did that, no it wasn't a problem.
He came downstairs thinking I had an issue with him not helping, not once was that said. He asked if I was okay, I said “I'm fine” and got on with cleaning.
This turned into an argument instantly after as he claims i was “pissed off” when i literally just woke up and am trying to clean a kitchen. We argue and I can't remember what's said, he asks me to give him a few things he can do to help, I list 3 things. He screamed at me for giving him too many things at a time to do and so I went silent. He's screaming and I try to walk away, as I'm walking away he kicks me in the back. After that I start recording and packing my things. He's scaring me because he's chasing me around the house screaming. That is why I started recording. This is why I left.
He tried to take this into his own, and make it seem this was his decision, that i was the one freaking out and having episodes and tries to take control of this situation by telling me he is leaving me.
I need to make it clear I was uncomfortable with my things even being moved to the garage as it was raining.
Everything was in its own room in my office, he didn't need to go in there and destroy and move everything like he did end up doing.
I'm going to be linking every voice message in this conversation. VOICE MESSAGE 1.
VOICE MESSAGE 2.
VOICE MESSAGE 3,4,5 all in one
Then VOICE MESSAGE 6
The second pic here isn't in order, just more proof of him admitting to kicking me.
You can see he talks about vandalising my keyboard before I even come over to see what he had done to my set up to give me a warning on why it was all smashed up. He says the keys “fell off” anyone that owns a keyboard knows your keys dont just “fall off” and that he smashed it somewhere. The keyboard had dents in it around the side, which I can post pictures of.
He claims I made up what had happened to me in his video about the 19th again, stating I mentioned it was 4 days into living with each other, then in the text I say it was 2. I didn't know the exact dates to align when everything happened to me like moving in etc until i had to get the receipts and put everything together in order. Proof that I wasn't planning to do this. This doesn't take from the fact that it still happened. I know for a fact it was on that date, as on the same day I wrote it down in my notes app to tell myself to leave him if he ever does it again. I'm someone who forgives things like this after a while and let the next horrible thing happen, so I noted this down to remind myself that I needed to get out.
He claims in this video that i admit to him trying to hug me instead of dragging me, now these screenshots he used are from two DIFFERENT situations. He has manipulated this. That's why I have been linking the WHOLE conversation.
In my screenshot on the left, is from the conversation I will share about him dragging me, and him saying it was to “stop me somehow” so he admits to doing it, and is trying to manipulate the story and proof by linking it to another situation that happened.
In the screenshot on the right is a completely different part of the conversation where we moved on to the situation where he kicked me as i was walking away, in his OWN screenshot i can debunk that conversation right now, after he kicked me, and i went around the house packing my things i had taken bear into the living room with his harness, shut the door and waited for my friend to pick me up. Here he says he tried hugging me, he did in fact try hugging me! No not instead of kicking me, he did that. No this isn't the time he dragged me while screaming as that happened days after living together, and him kicking me happened on the day i moved out. this time around when he had kicked my back, i was in shock and silent. This is all in the video I posted. He's tried to merge these two separate times together, when that's not true.
Yes he tried hugging me, in the living room after he went around the house screaming, i told him to stop and to go away, it's in the video i posted in my first statement, after i stop the video, at the end you can see i'm in the living room now. i get myself into the living room shut the door he came in trying to stop me from leaving, he states in messages i will add (the whole conversation) he saw the car outside and he came in to try hug me, i denied this hug and he then gets up says “don't say i didn't try” and walked away. Below will be the whole conversation there so he cannot twist the narrative and lie.
I say “say dont go” because what i really got when i left the house, was “fuck off” and a middle finger.
He claims he “asks” to break up yet that isn't quite how it is, in my statement i show him threatening to leave me, then apologising and trying to reverse everything that was said. He “broke up” with me multiple times, then spammed me to call him and talk to him. His intention was never to break up with me, just to manipulate me into calling him.
I never liked calling alex as after every single call we had with each other ended very badly, both of us screaming at each other and being shitty.
I stopped answering calls in arguments because he would always end up calling me a whore, bitch, etc and with that i even posted clips i had got from previous discord calls in my first statement. These clips were caught on my pc with a gaming clip extension, i never recorded the whole call and i never had intent to share those clips outside of my own bubble. That's why they were 10-30s long or a minute. I state I clipped those as they were so shocking to me I had to watch them back and remind myself this man was doing what he was doing, and I was valid for feeling the way I felt.
In the video he says im “gaslighting” him into believing the event of him kicking me had taken place, so i put in the whole conversation where he will deny deny deny, stop denying then say it was a “joke” that he was “getting my attention”. So here again, he lied. Spinning the narrative saying he kicked me out, and broke up with me when i clearly state many times i left after he kicked me, that was the whole reason i left. I told myself i will leave if he did it again, he did it and i started recording packing my things and left. That whole conversation can hopefully show you that yes he said leave after i already left, then 30 minutes later he is apologising asking to call and to come back, im emotional, i'm a wreck, did i wanna leave? No but I had to. He did this again and I made a promise to myself that it would be the last straw.
No this does not make me a perfect victim and yes i say shitty things back, but hopefully you can read these and understand its reactive. Alex is so intense that it made me break alot. Im sure in a way he feels the same, now that i know he has now been diagnosed it makes sense as to why he did, said and acted the way he did, but i would never want to blame a mental health issue on why he treated me the way he did because it completely discredits everything i went through and drags down so many other people who would NEVER do the things he did, i'm just trying to grasp onto any reasoning
Stating in the video that after i left the house, i started blackmailing and threatening after i was asked to stay away, that is not why i did that. He was threatening to vandalise my property and I threatened police and exposure if he did such things, which I came to find out he did in fact destroy my things, and to avoid issues with the police, he paid me back and replaced everything he broke. I didn't start claiming abuse because I was told not to come back, that is spun completely wrong as you can read the whole conversation. I state that he kicked me, and that is the reason I left. I never threatened the police for him “trying to leave the relationship” . I threatened him with the police for saying he will put my 3+k set up outside while it was raining.
He was never blackmailed into staying in the relationship, he begged and begged for me to come back, this was all put in the first statement that im starting to believe he didn't even read before making this video. You can see he wasn't “trying to leave” after spamming me on multiple accounts after being blocked, and asked to leave me alone. He begged for me to stay in contact with him, which I did out of pity and the harsh reality that it was hard to let go of someone I tried to believe would change for me. I had all of this in the first statement of him harassing me. And now i feel i have to add more to give you the right picture that i was not blackmailing him to be with me, he was manipulating me telling me he wants to fix things and begged to play games with me and hang out again.
In the beginning the dynamic was a lot more “comforting” than it was anything toxic, ofc it got toxic after he was claiming to want me back and fix things, then continue to insult me and argue with me, there's many things i can get into like the “jealousy” and the claims to be “controlling” but i'll get to those in the same order of the video.
For now I'm going to link one of our conversations on the 30th December, when I had freshly left him on the 29th.
He states I made him send me things but no one can make anyone do anything, after this was the narrative between us both, I believed he wanted to do better and fix things, because that is what he told me multiple times. This was carried on for months. At no point do I force him to do any of this, blackmail him or manipulate him to stay with me.
He uses this screenshot as proof of the threats, so I'll attach the whole conversation. He also stated in his video that i never express my worry about moving in with him, this yet again will be proved a lie from him in this conversation and more. He posted my reaction and not what I was reacting to, so here is the full story and hopefully it helps show how much he has manipulated this conversation into multiple segments. I will always apologise for not posting the whole thing, but again I was selfish and just wanted people to see what he did to me.
This conversation originated from a call, where I expressed to him that I am scared about moving in with him, and he reacts badly to this and it goes on from here. The insults are inexcusable i will never deny that as i have always said i said very shitty things, but i have never and will never stoop as low as death threats and telling someone im going to hurt them, after the tone was set i backed myself and gave it back after i was so vulnerable with him about the fear i had with moving in, he just proved me right so i reacted very poorly. Coming to someone saying you're scared of how they may treat you in the house you're planning on moving into, then getting insulted and screamed at will cause anyone to react.
As soon as I said “yeah i'm done” I was over the edge and did not care for anything i say after, i begged him to stop calling me the things he did in the call and he did it instantly after so I gave up.
I wanna mention in these texts whatever he insults me with. I use it back at him to retaliate, and I'm aware I go too far with the autistic comments. I wanna apologise to anyone I offend using this as an insult. I was just very ignorant, at my breaking point and I really do regret using these words. They were very normalised as we both used them.
Going back to the accusations where he claims multiple times i “punched” him, here are the messages where he actually said i “tried” to hit him. And not once claims I “punched” him over the cat. The whole argument came about from me pushing him off me after saying strange things to my cat. I've said in my first statement I never found this funny, I feel uncomfortable having someone so mean around my cat after he threatened to break my cat's neck. This is why I didn't like him being around my cat.
There's a “switch up” because he said odd things and it made me uncomfortable so I pushed him off me when he got in my face with my cat. I didn't “KNOW” he was joking, and I'm burnt out.
I tell him “cry” because I'm quoting what he always says to me when arguing, for example the next screenshot.
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not once am I against this. I was building up courage to leave for a very long time, in my head we were already over.
I repeat his reasoning as to why he's “kicked me out” because i was genuinely gob smacked at how he didn't understand or take in the fact that this came about from his ‘joke” i pushed him off me and he escalated this into an aggressive argument screaming, asks me to talk to him after.
He claims in his video that i resort to physical abuse after he doesnt do what i want him to, then goes on about how i slapped him. I have already stated in my first document that I slapped him after he had screamed verbal abuse to me, and I gave more context on this further up in the document.
He used this and said I admitted to kicking him and said it was uncalled for, that is a lie it's literally in the screenshot. I say “i remember pushing you away” “i DIDN'T go ahead and start kicking hard to you” then “but yeah it was probably uncalled for”, thats me saying pushing him away was probably uncalled for.
His proof of me hitting him is me saying I didn't hit him.
Not once did Alex ever claim that he was “hit regularly” until he released this video, his lies are inconsistent and easy to point out if you saw everything in my first statement and more on this one. For example saying I “punched” him over the cat. This started originally as me pushing him off me and picking bear up into another room, his second claim was that I “tried” to hit him when pushing him off me, this then developed into a “punch” and then “punched in the face”. I linked the messages and if you made it this far you read them already so you already know this, i'm just pointing this out as its important to back myself in this, the only time i hit him is when i slapped him, not ever do i hit him ever again since that situation back in september.
Using this as “proof” of me hitting him, when all he's doing is trying to spin a narrative on me that I'm going through other stuff with my brother at the time and that he feels bad for me. Not once have I taken things out on him, in almost all of our arguments, it'll end in excuses saying he lashed out, he's annoyed about another thing that's happened or something he's going through, which was consistent in some of these conversations I've shared AND in my previous statement.
I'm going to just attach this whole conversation.
To say I “asked” him to send me a letter is a lie, and at this point he only does send me one as a last panic to try to fix things, as I asked him to leave me alone multiple times. I also wanna state i never asked him to send me teddys and flowers. He has manipulated me asking for a bear I left at the house and made it seem like it's the same teddy he sends to my house unwanted, they are both two separate teddy bears. One I asked for back and the other was him sending things to my house to try to get me to talk to him. The amazon note was in the first statement.
He then says i “kicked him in bed a few times for being sweaty” again a lie that he has now changed into another story claiming kicks in the head and calling him fat, this was the situation where i pushed him off me in bed, yes him being sweaty played part in that and the fact i didn't want him near me after being mean to me in an argument prior. I didn't kick him out of the bed physically, he had gone to sleep downstairs after this.
Yes im toxic back, it's been months on end of the same behaviour and im very much over it.
Claiming he wanted to fix things and then arguing like crazy, this was all in my first statement and I showed the multiple accounts he used to message me after I said no more. After every fuck up after i left, i blocked him or gave up with believing him telling me he wants to fix things, this is draining for both of us 100% hes trying and im not giving, and im valid in doing so because it was always after a shitty argument where he then not to my surprise insults me and goes on, i give it back and i defended myself i never denied that i reacted, times he insulted me it set that tone and i insulted him back, i state so many times im reacting to something hes done. I should've blocked him everywhere and moved on, which I finally did not long after the continuous arguing.
The calls were always blown out of proportion and aggressive, i posted video proof of how our discord calls go, he never left out an insult when he got pissed off, and that for me is a big trigger because since the start of the relationship i had begged him to STOP insulting me calling me a whore etc he says he will stop and then does it the very next day in arguments. He KNEW this was a trigger for me, he went straight for it in every single argument to insult me, i gave up caring about this and insult him back. You can only be told to kill yourself etc and throw so much shit at you before you give the SAME energy and toxicity back. I hate who i had become and I'll forever be apologetic to those I offend with my words, and myself. I let myself and I'm sure many others down but I'm human and I react and this was extremely toxic.
He claims in his video that he “cared” for the cat, when before living together he threatened to snap my cats neck while over mine, we were arguing in my room he gets up and bear started meowing while he was insulting me and comes out with saying hes going to snap the cats neck telling him to shut up. After this I never felt comfortable with him around my cat ever again, there were so many times where I asked or hinted at Alex to go home, as when I got bear he never left and kept coming over.
He adds in this message
I never deny Alex loved him, he claimed he loved me and also told me he's going to kill me and I forgave that, but I never forgot.
.
I'll only add this here as it's all in my first statement, but I really do push that you read everything there if you haven't already as I am trying to give new information and context on this, take accountability for my language back and not recycle.
I picked up the call with a very monotone voice, this was a trigger to Alex and made him angry so we argued over it. I apologised over the tone I can have but I'm drained after the argument after argument. It was late at night, he kept ringing and i never wanted to pick up because it was always a shit show, i said i'm going to bed after i picked up and this was in a low tone and that's what validated telling me he's going to kill me, calls me whore etc i was over it.
I'm going to link now the conversation about the cat, where i say “i realise you loved him” as this is in no context, he's just trying to use this to defend telling bear he will snap his neck so here's the full conversation where i am feeling empathy towards alex, forgive and make excuses for him. He Says i cropped these texts and he was doing nothing out of the ordinary with the cat, yet multiple times i explain to him after saying “weird things” i was uncomfortable in many messages i say he had bear in my face and said “i'm going to take you away” etc and he admits in many texts it was a “joke”.
He says he asked me to stop hurting him for being affectionate to the cat, this never happened. As he admits, I pushed him off me. The one and ONLY time we had something between me, him and the cat, was that one “joke” and me pushing him off me and the time he threatened to snap bears neck. Never again was there a complication with my cat, I just had him downstairs with me all the time. I dont want someone making fucked up jokes and threats to snap necks around my cat after being so aggressive with me.
He claims I have hid texts, but further up I have shown that whole conversation to clear that up as he did not once feel sad or explain he was sad and was being “hit” he said “tried” to hit and admits to me pushing him off. And no i did not try to hit him that was me pushing him off, this is just proof his lies keep changing and his story is fabricated.
These texts are just days after i left.
Asking him to stop insulting me is asking him to stop verbally abusing me.
You can see in this conversation he admitted to kicking me, insulting me and freaking out, not once did I “assault” him here as he claims I did.
He claims gaslighting, manipulation and physical abuse in this house from me, which there was none of. Yes I react, I call him very shitty things. I try to hurt his feelings after abusing me. There's always a switch where I am no longer thinking straight and do not care for what I say, that is because of the constant verbal abuse he gave me at any time he could.
His breakdowns were described by me as this.
Because that is how he acted, for example after an argument i can't remember what over we both go off into our offices mine being downstairs and his upstairs, he texts me to talk and i refuse to speak to him, he comes downstairs and at this point i am shaking, i'm in flight mode and i do not want to talk. Whenever he got angry like this and came into my face screaming i put my head down and ask him to leave me alone multiple times, i remember him waking out, asking again to talk and then jumping stomping his feet screaming at me “kill yourself” multiple countless times. That to me is how a child acts and that is how he acted, swinging arms in arguments and raising his voice.
All of his claims to me allegedly hitting him constantly are false and not backed up with proof or evidence once.
Anything that can be proved for example the slap i gave him after verbally screaming abuse at me is because i don't hide it and i never have. Reacting so intensely to an argument to the point i had done that was something i would never hide but yes feel ashamed by it, i was pushed to a point where i felt i had to do that and that's not okay but i still did it and have never denied it.
“I would get upset after i was Pushed, slapped and punched” he was never slapped or punched or hit since the first time i had ever done it back in september. There is 0 proof or evidence or text messages of this, as he claims texts are such important factors for proof why has he not given any. His “proof” are messages of my own statement taken out of context, but ive now posted the whole conversation so that can be debunked.
Hearing him say he deeply regrets his behavior being horrible to me, im sorry but to me is not genuine after lying about everything and denying what he has done, i wont and cant take that “accountability” serious when he is only taking accountability for the undeniable proof i posted, denies anything physical and doesn't talk about threatening to kill me. Everything else he has fabricated and hopefully this response will prove that he is lying throughout this whole thing as I try to give as much proof as possible.
In no way am I trying to shift blame or point fingers while writing this, I'm just disproving his lies. I take full accountability for being toxic and have never denied doing so. I wrote it clearly in my first statement that I went just as low as Alex when insulting each other after he had broken that barrier every argument.
He uses this screenshot saying in his video “I'm tired of being hit for being myself” yet this will be interesting as i posted the whole conversation in this document and not once is that said.
He contradicts himself here as he says i hit him, and denies hitting him yet he then changes his narrative and said “you tried” this is in his own video.
I asked him to stop, but he didn't, so I pushed him off me. He tried twisting this in our relationship since it happened to feel like he had a “one up” on me and he admits to this in voice messages.
This is in no way “evidence” of me hitting him, I pushed him. He says in his video i am mocking and downplaying, while he is recycling the same screenshot multiple times, he's just repeating himself and showing the same messages over and over.
Mentioning that I only spoke about his behavior and ignored my own after verbally abusing me and screaming at me is not proof of me hitting him. Yes I reacted and I am toxic back, trying to hurt him back. Everything I say is always in response to his abuse.
He now 30 minutes in the video claims i hurt him and uses this message “since day 1” as “proof”. You will know now as you've seen the whole conversation that he is manipulating this.
He claims he was the only one paying for everything in the house as he was “the only person working at the time” but this is something he had offered to do, and we had an agreement on that when signing the lease, he just used this every argument as a power move.
He uses this and says he took it away as he was using it to make videos, this is false. He had multiple cameras and mics, he lent me one of each and helped me make videos with him that we recorded at the same time. This contradicts his story as he said it was to use for himself, that is a lie and a power play. I didn't and couldn't make videos without borrowing those things that he pushed so much onto me. That is all in my first statement where he would always push making videos onto me starting arguments when i wasn't believing i could do it.
These videos we made are now unlisted, but I can share screenshots showing we are both upstairs and downstairs recording together.
He has taken this from the same conversation of the incident where i pushed him off and he claims i hit him, as a now new situation where he says in his video he was laying down flat in bed with the cat on his chest, this is a lie. “Alice moved towards me and pushed me” he has now created a new “pushed” event from the same messages.
In his own video he contradicts himself again.
As he mentioned I came over to him to push him in bed, when the text says “I pushed you out of my face” this is again from the same scenario downstairs. He has fabricated a story while using “proof” from an event already taken place. He has recycled messages and labeled it “proof” of multiple different stories.
He uses this as proof of trying to leave me, when that is false. He threatened to break up constantly and used it as a power move. I posted a lot on this in the first statement.
To say I was manipulating him to stay is false, everytime he threatened to break up I agreed.
In his own screenshot.
He claims he made the move on saying that if things don't get better we should break up, when it was me who put this in place. I asked him to stop verbally abusing me or I would leave, I told him if he ever put hands on me again I would leave.
Claiming he wanted me out (which he did message and say), but then begged me to come to him and talk to him to fix things. This is not someone trying to break up with me, this is someone dangling breakup threats to me, and then pulling me back in saying they don't mean it and to talk. So I do not take him seriously anymore after he threatens to break up.
He constantly used excuses to treat me like shit, which I gave undeniable evidence on in my first statement including the videos, in every one he blames other issues and screams at me.
This had been admitted by him in many conversations on messenger that have been put in this document.
He claims again that I antagonised and laid hands on him, that is false. This is all still the same situation where he was in my face saying strange things about my cat. I pushed him away and he exploded, but he keeps spinning this story multiple times in his own video. Saying I ignored “physically assaulting” him when again, I didn't assault him.
Yes, I told him to try his best to talk normally to me, as this was hard for him and he was always aggressive and insulting.
He claims I said he should “get used to hitting me” after he spoke to the cat. That is a lie.
I said to him, "I will keep the cat away from him and push him off me. Not ever did I say I will keep “hitting” him like he claims. Yet again I don't want someone like that around my cat, it's as simple as that.
He's claiming that i said i will keep “hitting him” when that isn't in the text, he says “pushing”.
He didn't regret any words he used on me, as he used them daily. Words held no weight for Alex and he never felt sorry for using them.
From April to November I was asking him to stop. We started dating in March.
Just now going through all of this I noticed he has unsent many messages on messenger and discord, luckily for him I screenshot a lot of that and it's all in my first statement, so there was 0 point in deleting anything. Just makes him look even more guilty.
Unsending calling me a whore maybe 50+ times, now it's only me mentioning him calling me that word.
calling a trans girl “grim” after I made a joke.
“62” says a lot.
strange how he is now trying to cover tracks when it's all out there already in my first post.
To now delete everything after i had already come out with messages he sent here.
Back on track to the video, he now claims he said “if she believes that physical violence was the answer that our relationship was beyond saving unless she can find other ways to deal with these issues and she told me she couldn't” this is a lie. I had issues with the uncomfortable jokes he made, and threats previous to my cat. Never have I hit him over this that he claims so much.
“You do care”
“You pushed me”
No claim to be hit, but he now says I did push him.
This is again proving i just pushed him and nothing else, sorry this is so repetitive i am just bringing this up everytime he does in the video as i said im responding in the order of the video, he's taken these and made them seem like multiple events which is a lie.
Saying I picked “5 carefully picked screenshots” this is because I chose the ones highlighting the main points, but again in this document you can now read the whole conversation.
Now onto the subject of who owned bear. I never said he couldn't go near the cat for calling him his, i said it made me uncomfortable posting about him as if he owns him, we did not live together at this time, i wanted and have wanted to get my own cat for many many years and i saw bear and decided now was the time to get one.
I got bear in July, 4 months into dating alex. I asked Alex if he would like to come with me picking up bear as I saw it being a fun day out.
It made me upset seeing people think the cat was his when I got him, he was mine, lived with me, I dealt with vets, I fed and cleaned him etc. we did not live together, as he claims in his video. That was a lie.
This was in September, and I'm saying bear isn't his. He Never was. Not sure why this has been made into a lie but I'll clear up as much as I can.
Claiming we lived together, we did not. Alex would come over to my house, close to every week he stayed over once i got bear. He did not live with me.
Putting the date 12th july when we picked up the cat (true), to then saying we lived together is a lie. We moved in together in october.
The situation with the deposit and paying for bear,
Bear was £350, the deposit was £100. This is very important information as Alex claims he paid the rest after my deposit and shows a bank statement from june. Alex did pay for the rest of what i had to, but because i couldn't at the time as i wasn't prepared fully.
Date is 08/07/2023, reads in american idk why.
The screenshot in his video linking to this is false.
- This shows 5th june 2023, i got bear on the 12th july 2023 and paid the rest on the day of picking him up.
- The rest to pay was £250
Alex has again lied. When he didn't even need to.
Alex did pay the rest of the price on the day of picking up bear, this was £250, not to me but to the person I was picking up bear from.
I went unprepared and had to use a card reader to send a payment as big as this(this is normal nationwide), I did not bring one with me so i asked alex if he wouldn't mind paying it just for now and i pay him back when we get home. I gave Alex the details he needed to send it to her.
He told me I didn't need to pay him back, and that it'd help me cover everything I had to buy for bear.
I made it clear to Alex we did not both own the cat, we were together for 4 months. To me, it is crazy to own a pet together. He claims he took a post down when actually he changed the caption to calling bear mine, and has now since taken it down to suit him and his story.
He claims again now that I pushed and slapped him for calling him his, this is a lie.
In this part of the video he contradicts himself saying everything he did was in fact a reaction and mine wasn't, after i claimed i would react to him. But in the beginning showed his “diagnosis” where it reads that he had angry outbursts. He's inconsistent with his claims and lying. Bringing up the one time I pushed him off me, and the one time I slapped him as if I did those things daily or to everything like he says in the video.
I don't believe he is “ashamed” of the things he said, like he claims in the video when he is lying. He came to me after I left, constantly apologising and begging me to forgive him for everything he said and now is saying he tried to leave me multiple times. Everything to do with that is in my first statement where I explain about him harassing me on multiple accounts. I had to keep blocking him as we would keep arguing and end up insulting each other again when it was promised to stop when he claims he wants to try fix things, everytime he fed me lies telling me he will change, the very next day would be the same behaviour so i blow cold and stop believing him. I shouldn't have kept in contact for as long as I did but it's personally hard for me to do that no matter how shit I'm treated, especially since this was “the norm” for us by now.
The screen shot is of the messages i talk to him about on messenger,
In these messages Alex is playing victim after his friends have heard a few things Alex did, rumours were going around at parties from those that heard him screaming at me, and put two and two together with my tiktoks.
I heard he was spinning up lies about me claiming I hit him, where his first claims are still the slap, punch, and kick which have now been developed into “regular physical abuse” as he gets to in his video. His story doesn't stay the same and he not once ever mentions the extent he has in the video nor does he show any proof.
Yet again his proof is me saying i didn't punch him, i didn't kick him, and admitting to the slap. He instantly played victim as soon as he heard what he had done was going around the YT community.
(in the messenger messages i attached) Claims i do not mention him responding to me talking about clares law on my tiktok where he claims i said he was “convicted” not once do i ever claim he was convicted.
Again, to be on clares law you do not need a conviction.
He does not once mention this is the reasoning as to why he messaged me.
He adds this and says i went through following his friends, i followed back whoever followed me or whoever i planned on speaking to. I bring up him following specific girls that he has either dated before or slept with as for the whole 2-3 months after I left him, he was trying to “fix things” while then following back these people again.
“Shit no way is that how it feels?”
I said this because I was trying to make him feel the way he made me feel.
Now this is a reaction to an event he has not mentioned because he is lying and using this in another context. I'll add the context below.
When i came to pick up my things on the next day of leaving, i had everything in my office and clothes upstairs that he had thrown out of the bedroom so i didn't have to go in there as he was in that room and didn't want me to go in. He claimed to me that “everything” was out in the hallway.
It came to it and i realised i was missing something, a figure “ahri” from a game that he had given to me for my birthday, i message and ask if he had it, he told me that it was in my office and he then moved it into the bedroom after i picked up all of my things and “left it”. I didn't believe him as I emptied the room completely and everything was on the floor, monitors, camera etc.
“I packed everything in that room it wasn't in there”. him- “it really was”
“I put it there when you left it”
this whole conversation then turns into another argument as soon as he says “fuck off” and he assumed my “could sit here and keep saying it” message was about me telling him he stole it, when it was me trying to get across that it was not in my office when i came to pick up everything. To argue so hard that it was in my office and I left it, to then admitting he moved it or saying he doesn't remember where it was is gaslighting me.
Then moving onto saying he doesn't remember.
It comes to the next day where he decides to apologise to me for going too far and being aggressive with me. I don't argue here. I am just confused, I'm still trying to figure out why he was pushing it so hard that he hadn't moved it before i came to pick everything up to then admit he moved it. The manipulation he had done pushed me to react. I will put the whole conversation here below with the previous claims where he says it was in the office. This might seem irrelevant but this wasn't the first time he had lied, been aggressive then apologised and told the truth, like what happened to my glasses.
The voice message will be in this folder under - ahri VOICE MESSAGE
Gaslighting me telling me i “forgot to put it away”
For him to now say he moved it before I came to get my things. He gaslit this whole situation and has used my reaction against me.
Hyper focusing thinking I'm going on thinking he stole it, when really I'm trying to make sense of why he told me i left it, to then tell me he moved it before I came to get my things, to then saying he put it in the bedroom he specifically told me not to go into.
I saw him lying about this figure as a way to get me to come back to the house and it was triggering.
He claims I was harassing him, which is a lie. Alex messaged me, alex was always the one to message me, spam me, and go on multiple accounts to contact me. He was using tiktok, instagram, messenger, texts, emails, i blocked him on every single one till he was only left on messenger as he begged me to keep him unblocked here. I don't wanna include everything I wrote and proved in my first statement. I want this response to have as much new information and less recycled as possible but in that you will see he was harassing me.
Posting about healing is not harassing him. I'm allowed to talk about that.
Replying to tweets is not harassing him.
Alex claimed we’d argue after I hit him to his friends, this was a lie he had made.
He has now taken me admitting to slapping him one time in all those 8 months of dating and saying I can sue him for lying when yes I can, as he is lying, he said I “hit him all of the time and that is why we argued”.
Not once in this message do i say it's okay for women to hit men for being an asshole, he has twisted my words after showing what i actually said.
The whole conversation is in this document and I wanna add a little more context to this, me mentioning the ability to sue was in response to him as I knew he told his friends he had already tried to sue me, and had a letter through my door. This was a lie, he cannot do any of this as i was and have not been lying.
Here he's lying, he did tell his friends that he will have a letter through my door to sue.
This was in response to my tiktoks, and I said this. Because yes if he has an issue with me talking about what I went through I said he can say sorry publicly, that is not for me i didn't want an apology from him at all but as his issue was the public speculation i suggested this to him. I don't want to be messaging him at this point and did not care for what he had to say.
He then talks about messages between me and his ex Jess that she has given him. I wanna believe he manipulated her into doing this but that's their business and nothing to do with my story. Although the screenshot given twists my narrative, I will now share the whole conversation, while talking to his ex’s and friends I am suggested many times to speak out about him. At this point in time he was harassing me and I was building up the courage to even go to the police since January which I finally did at the end of may the same time alex then stopped messaging me.
Im cutting out the name of his other ex that isn't public knowledge.
I mention being able to confirm tweets made about him as Alex would tell me these things and always talked about people he hated. Before dating Alex I knew nothing about all of the drama he was ever in before so I had a look after I left him.
I'm asking Jess if she wouldn't mind writing a statement to the police, not online.
I also asked another one of his recent ex’s if they would write a statement to police to help them understand he had done this to all of his partners.
I was contacted by Alex's old friends and asked to explain what was going on. I gave them my side of the story as they had been told by Alex that I “hit him all the time” and that he will sue me. I think it's completely normal for the people who contacted me to do so as they were all close to Alex at some point and wanted to get to the bottom of what happened between us.
I brought up a screenshot of a message that was sent to me, I was not sent their whole conversation, I was only shown him saying I hit him all the time. I bring that up to alex as it was not true and i was asking him why would he do that, he first denies this until i show him proof i know, this was not to isolate him from his friends, they chose to cut contact with him as they saw and heard what he had done to me, and yes i told them what i had also done, name calling, the slap, etc.
At no point do I tell Alex who I'm talking to or who is talking to me, and to bring some people into this drama like naming Fraser - inabber is wrong. Especially since fraser is someone i hardly exchanged a message with, i understood he was probably the most shocked out of everyone with this information as i knew how close they were a few years back, for alex to paint him out to be sharing information with me and then to put it out in his video publicly is wrong and a lie, this is mine and alex's relationship and to drag other names down in his response is disgusting and manipulating the story.
The “abuse story” he shared with Fraser in a group chat was built on lies and I called him out on it in our messages.
I did not go out of my way to message his friends, I was approached. to paint the narrative that i tried isolating him from them is not true.
Alex shares parts of conversations with Fraser claiming he spoke about me and him when this was after they knew some of the horrible things he had done.
Fraser was not lying when he said alex never spoke about things between me and alex
Another screenshot he shares, he claims i was upset about him following a girl.
I was in fact upset about him following a specific girl, someone I even asked about to his friends. It was someone he used to sleep with and see, to beg me to let him try to fix things by following old flings/ex’s yes i will be upset.
Alex keeps only sharing these two same screenshots claiming Fraser knew we were broken up, when Fraser clearly said that he thought we were still together in March.
Alex's messages are in April, After everyone had been talking behind the scenes about what happened between us.
He claims i had “full access” to his phone the entire relationship, we made it clear that each other could look at phones whenever to put out trust on the table, not once did i ever use that offer until the 5th of december where this takes place. I am not someone to go through phones as it makes me very uncomfortable. I say “never was an issue before” as alex always said to me if i wanted to go on his phone i could, the only times previously i had ever been on it was to help him order a takeaway never to go through his privacy.
In these screenshots this is the moment we were in the bedroom and I was in the bathroom. He said something odd down the phone. I came in and I asked him what he's doing on his phone. He laughs and puts his phone to his chest and plays with me saying its nothing, of course this sparks an insecure reaction from me and i ask him to just turn his phone and show me, he doesn't do this so i walk out the room telling him i do not trust him at all anymore as he claimed he would never hide his phone from me but the one time i ask to look he says no. I walk down into my office and send him these messages until he finally comes down after and puts his phone in the kitchen, tells me to look and walks away.
I take his phone into my office and I look, idk where to look as I have never done this before so i go to his recent instagram searches to find his ex before me there. I saw the same on tiktok. The last place i look is his photos where i only look in the “hidden” folder i don't look anywhere else, there's around 5 pictures in there one being very recent from around the dates we just started talking of someone he was clearly sleeping with and the rest being pictures he still had of his ex girlfriend. When he finally comes back downstairs to talk to me all i ask him is why he still has these pictures and why is he stalking her. He dismisses me and calls me silly, laughs it off and says he forgot about the pictures and he will delete them. Not once am I controlling over this, not once do I freak out or “slap him” over his phone as he claims later in his video. He tells me he was stalking her socials to see if she was at a party that we didn't even go to.
Again using this to prove he always spoke to Fraser about us when the dates are after everyone started finding out.
In his own screenshot he proves that he never showed proof of what he claims now in his video, all of alex’s “proof” is either from my own statement or out of context which is why i now show the whole conversation, he does not at any point show proof of the serious claims he has made saying i hit him all the time etc.
He claims in his video that what I posted is not true. I posted undeniable evidence of the things he did and the way he treated me in my first statement. I was stupid and didn't add how I spoke to him after the abuse but I felt ashamed of my reactions and language although I have always said I went down to his level and said some horrible things. I have never tried to deny these things, i just felt it wasn't my goal to put across the entire relationship, just what he had done to me that was so disgusting i reacted. I realise now this was a mistake as it's been manipulated completely against me, like I said he would do in my first statement. I knew Alex would do this as he started with this narrative only after his friends found out.
In his video he goes on about how he tries to prove fraser was “using him” for videos, alex thought everyone was using him, he'd always go on about how his friends needed him, and that everyone he made videos with while we were dating were only getting subs and views because of himself being in the videos. He claimed he made a lot of his friends' careers and treated them like “guinea pigs” with certain videos and thumbnails.
This statement was true, i did do those things but he adds zero context as to why i got that way, he is manipulating this story saying he had walked away after i did this and that we had a “small” disagreement, discrediting what he had done to me to get me to react in that way so i will now share this whole context and story.
The same day we had argued in the morning and alex had ordered us food, i asked him if he ordered without me he said yes and i said “oh okay, i didn't pick” this pissed off alex and after i even said thankyou for ordering food he ignores me, when it arrives he throws it at the table im sat at while doing my makeup, i don't remember the order of events whether it happened before to set this tone between us or after but i was talking to alex as he was at his desk and got ignored multiple times, that upset me. I will put the messages here now, but back to the messages he is sharing after all of this later in the day we get to where i live as he was planning to just drop me off, there were no plans to take him back to my house. While walking he asks me if he can come over, I tell him I don't have anyone over and I begin to tell him why.
In one of my last relationships my ex had slagged off me, my family and the home I lived in so it made me very untrusting ever letting someone over. I don't have a fancy house, it's nothing close to expensive and I feel judged ever letting someone I date in again. As soon as i mention that it was an ex who would shit on me about the home i lived in alex freaks out on me, he doesn't try to understand and he asks me why i would bring up an ex and gets angry this hurts my feelings because i've just been so vulnerable with alex sharing this information and all he took from it was the fact i mentioned an ex. This goes downhill from here and we start arguing. He's mad at me and I break, I shout, I threaten and I walk away. Not once in this do i actually hit him and i meant it in a way to leave me alone and to get away from me.
As soon as he messages “ok” he comes back and we spoke again, he says about how he wants to come over and i give in and start calling my mum for her to pick us up, he doesn't give me a moment or wait he storms off arguing with me again.
It wasn't because I “threatened to hit him so loudly” it was because we were both standing right infront of each other arguing and shouting.
I never blackmailed Alex once, he claims I blackmail him throughout the entire relationship and afterwards, this is a lie.
He says I have manipulated him into doing these things when that is not true.
In his video he now manipulates a story to say he tries breaking up with me leaving me and i apparently then blackmail him. This will be proved a lie with the whole conversation i am about to link, including voice messages he has now since unsent. He has unsent a lot of what he said since coming out with his video as they were there before when i wrote my first statement. He has done this to try work in his favour and twist the narrative.
I want to note, yes i asked him to give me back my things the same month i left him, i did not ask him to send me bears from amazon, or flowers, his hoodie, letters etc.
The amazon note in my first statement is sent with a bear, that is not the same teddy i ask for him to give me back in the beginning. Me sending him tiktoks of love letters in january is not me blackmailing him to send me a letter in april with the rest of my things.
Please note that he started sending things to my house after I sent him a message to leave me alone.
The messages I'm about to link will stop at 4/17/24, 4:48 PM as everything after that screenshot has already been put in this document and I'm trying to not repeat anything as this is and will be a very big document.
“I want to write a letter and hand it to you” not being manipulated once to send me a letter.
unset many videos of him crying and apologising, i managed to keep the voice messages that he has unsent and will be attaching them to this document.
He talks about being shitty to me meeting my friends, this is something I never really spoke about, but I wasn't allowed to stay with my friends whenever they came to London and I understood and accepted it.
He then after breaking up was constantly on me for where I am if I posted about me being out.
I go into more detail on this later in the document, but I want to make it clear now I did not follow anyone to hurt Alex, and had been contacted by this guy first. I wont add what he says out of respect, as he talks more about what happened to him and did not add it in his video and i won't put it on blast.
He’s now unsent messages that would go against his changes of the story in his video.
He brings this up again saying im blackmailing him yet this was in response to him threatening to damage my property and put it all outside. Claiming he said he does not want to be involved with me after we broke up, that is a lie. He would not stop contacting me as I've displayed in our messenger texts and in my first statement.
I didn't “orcistrate” anything, since leaving Alex I had planned to go to the police about everything that had been going on, he kept claiming i was planning on outing him while being together when i really wasn’t.
He takes these and claims i manipulated him into “trying” i don't really know what he's claiming here, but yes he wanted to stay in contact as he was apologising i've shared a conversation from the day after i moved out where we both are on the same page, not one blackmail threat to see, here in these screenshots are just a few days after, i will now attach the conversation to prove i did not make him do any of this, he wanted to do this. Taking my “well you can plan something soon” as if he didn't just tell me his parents had dropped things off for me.
Will link another conversation of Alex trying to have me come over.
I say “fall into a hole” as that was the unavailable story post meme “first date idea”
He uses these when again, he doesn't show it was him asking me to play games with him.
He claims I was contradicting myself by mentioning that he argued after I did not give him the attention he wanted when he did do this.
He manipulates this message to make me seem like I'm being toxic, that isn't what was happening. Not once do I manipulate or blackmail him as he claims in his video.
He now goes into how I am asking him why he has refollowed girls he had unfollowed in our relationship. This toxic dynamic came into the relationship very early on when we argued and he threatened that he would follow back girls he had relations with, and told me he can find better. That is why I tell him he can’t. This is toxic and I was very insecure in this relationship, we both were.
I question him on girls he follows and the context of this is that after I left him, he was trying to fix things and get back together with Alex then going out of his way to follow old ex’s was confusing to me and i brought it up to him many times. He won't add the context as to why I was this insecure and he did not own up to also doing this himself with the same behaviour.
He's since gone and deleted the picture but I found a screenshot from the day he did it. I won't be including her name or who she is as it's irrelevant. He saved a picture of her ass from 2022 in our shared folder, yes this sparked an insecure reaction from me.
I know im reacting badly to this, but the guy trying to fix things just sent me an ass pic from 2022, i'm insecure about it and he won't prove that it was a mistake that his friend sent him when it would've been very easy to prove and settle my mind if he was telling the truth.
This was because I was still following someone that had shown interest in me, not once had I shagged him, or sexualised him, nothing went further than friends. Alex used this as a way to defend himself for following ex’s. I did end up unfollowing him for Alex, but as soon as I saw Alex had followed another ex I followed him back and stopped caring for this. The difference was I wasn't following anyone I had been intimate with, he was.
Alex admits he did not trust any of my friends as he thought they all wanted to “have sex” with me. I stay inside, I play games. I don't have a lot of girl friends and I wish I did, so Alex had not felt insecure about my friends but they're all people I trust deeply. He forgets to add his own behaviours like when my friends came down to london as they live in another country, we all met up together for a few days in london the plans were to always stay in a airbnb together and i was never allowed to stay with them. I understood why, as they are all guys and only one other girl, so I never hated him for that but these people were trustworthy and I tried so hard to show that to Alex by having him come with me to meet everyone.
What I'm trying to put across here is that me and Alex were both insecure and it was never one sided.
Blacked out her name. He's saying he doesn't know why it's relevant but it's because he started following her again.
We both stalked each other’s following, this was not one sided.
He compares a tweet that I liked from a complete stranger, to following ex’s/past intimate relations.
Again another reason as to why i was insecure was finding his ex's pictures in his phone along with stalking her.
In the start of the relationship I made it apparent to Alex that I was uncomfortable with him following any pages that were to do with sw, i don't care for anyone he was friends with, just accounts that made me uncomfortable and still following ex’s/ people he slept with. This was a boundary of mine that Alex knew of. In no way was I trying to be controlling, this was something he was fine with doing and it was the same for me this was not a double standard.
Once I started to not respond to Alex, he had started following girls we argued about before, there was a specific one I brought up as it was a recent one before me and he claims to was because she reached out to him.
At this point I was over him going back on things he had said and promised, the conversation was about a girl that had come up already before. This had only become an issue as like i said this made me feel very insecure as he was trying to get back with me while doing this. I asked him to stop trying with me and messaging me if this is what he wanted to do.
This was mutual behaviour.
Obviously calling them nude S slurs is horrible and I regret the way I put this message, Alex told me he wasn't following pages like this as he knew they made me uncomfortable. I didn't know they were friends as he now claims in his video and he was aware this was an insecurity and boundary of mine. To then claim I went onto his phone and unfollowed these people for him is a lie. I simply just asked and he did. He uses this screenshot while saying we were not together for months yet the screenshot he used is in September 2023 while we are still dating.
I simply told Alex whenever I was insecure and I never did the things he has said I had done like taking his phone and slapping him over this.
Here's an example.
My voice note was of me waking up, telling Alex I had a bad dream about him and that he cheated on me.
I'll just add the voice note in the folder, labelled VM bad dream i had.
He takes these screenshots to manipulate the timeline, these were way before he sent things to my house and sent the voice note i attached in my first document. These screenshots he shows are from early january. I ask him to send a vc of what he wanted to say as he kept on begging me to call him after we just got off the phone from arguing, i explain to him i don't want to call its 5am and if you wanna say sorry over call so bad, to leave a voice note instead as i am not going to call him. Calls were very traumatising for me after he treated me the way he did. This was not in any way me trying to blackmail him or manipulate him.
In no way was this conversation me trying to manipulate him into sending voice notes that he claims I planned to use to plot against him. I did not want to call after him being horrible to me over the phone.
He mentions at this point in the video that I accuse him of cheating on me, not once is this ever said. I never accuse Alex of cheating on me ever.
He then manipulates the timeline again saying he sent things to my house and apologised to me as he was scared about what else I would come out with and tell people he did, that is a lie. He does all of this BEFORE any tiktoks are made, before his friends know and before i reported it.
Here are the correct dates of the timeline.
4/16/24
5/26/24
The very next month. After alex had apologised and spammed me. (he spammed me as i left a goodbye message) i linked this all in the doc already.
He claims he knew i was making a folder on him as he says i told him about how id write notes down on how he treated me, this is a lie i never tell alex about this they were private and for me to remind myself i need to leave him. I was planning on leaving Alex a month after moving in together and would slowly pack things into boxes or move all of my things into my office to make it easier to leave.
He uses this and claims he was under the impression we would not get back, again he's manipulating these texts and here are the rest. He's deliberately leaving out texts to solidify his false story.
He also then says after this that we were broken up for 2 months after these texts, that is a lie. These texts are from January 21st, 23 days after me leaving him, not 2 months.
The date 21/01/2024
He uses this and then claims i made him do these things by using these screenshots
The text messages are from days after me leaving and moving out where I left my teddy at his. The tiktoks are from January where he was still trying to fix things with me.
A tiktok is not manipulating someone to do something. I never blackmail him into doing this. He was telling me he would send my bear back to me. I say “might as well do it all if you do” as i had many other things still left at the house and that is what he has now manipulated out of context, the messages are in this document of the whole conversation there.
He brings up the tiktoks i sent him the month before, nowhere am i telling him to confess everything in a letter or manipulating him. He just proves himself groveling to get back with me in his own screenshot.
He gives me all of my things back in April, when I have been asking for my things back since january. He manipulates this by trying to paint this as if sending me flowers and other teddys was at the same time, they were not. I didn't ask for him to send me all of the other things he sent directly to my house, and the box of things he left at my door that smelt of his aftershave was the teddy, onesie and figure I was asking for back. He included his own hoodie, letter and other bits I didn't really need back in this box and did not ask for. The flowers he sent were not asked for, the multiple teddys he sent were not asked for. He kept trying to meet me when this was going on, asking me to come pick up the box from him and I do not want to do this. I never accused Alex of stealing my things.
On top of this claim I did not use the letter to paint the picture of harassing it was what was in the letter that he wrote, admitting to going to the things he did.
I only included a few pages of this letter, and now I will show the whole letter.
He claims again this was a lie, and says he broke nothing of mine during our relationship. This is a lie and I attached proof in this document.
He says this was a few days after leaving, when this was actually the day after picking up all of my things. He claims I threatened police after he said he never wants to talk to me. This is a lie, the police were threatened after he threatened to damage my belongings as I proved in this document.
He lied in his video, and did break my things. I forgave him as he replaced them. His story doesn't and never did add up to me as I went to pick it all up from the house, the office was upside down and everything including my monitors were on the floor so I knew he broke them, and he admits to breaking them.
Alex has since removed messages of admittance to favour his story.
Not showing the context of this conversation. This is just me admitting that my language back to Alex was toxic and the toxicity became mutual.
He doesnt state that this message was after arguing and a reaction. This was also after Alex had implemented this word as a power move. So yes I use it back.
This was after a whole night of arguing over me liking a tweet a fan made, he assumed the tweet meant they can treat me “better” than alex, and not what it really said saying “i can treat you right”
He uses this in a whole segment claiming it is cheating. This is not cheating. Liking a tweet from a fan is not cheating. I didn’t realise how much this would hurt alex, and i didnt think at the time he thought about it in a way of “treating me better than he can” but the way alex actually saw it, was he was pissed off people could see my likes, and said i would be damaging his reputation by liking this tweet that is why i refuse to give him what he wanted.
He claims this was also after our first date, the tweet incident happened on may the 19th, our first date was on the 18th of february, he is lying. It's important to know this was later into dating as the arguments were close to daily where he would do something horrible then demand an apology so yes i was very stubborn at this point.
I know the dates as I took pictures after eating, and seeing friends after, for a party.
He goes on to say how me finding nudes in his phone from his ex is a lie, Alex is lying and this did happen. Not once have i mentioned cheating it is for how many people perceive it.
He claims I would come into his room to check who he's talking to daily, this is a lie.
He now says I slapped him weeks into dating as he was invited to a party in la, this again is a lie. In the document there's dates on the time I slapped him, and that was in September for verbally abusing me.
He has fabricated this whole story when the only time I ever went through his phone was when he was being shady hiding his phone from me. This situation has been explained in this document already with proof.
Suddenly Alex isn't showing “proof” of any of his claims as they are false. He claims I said I told him “I would only feel better if I could slap him and if I was allowed to go through his phone and unfollow and block people” this is a lie. Never would i say something like this, yes i was insecure but only over next to nude instagram pages and ex’s, which again i didn't even go on his phone for, i simply asked him to remove them as it was a boundary, not once do i make him remove friends and never have i told someone it makes me feel good to slap them. This is a serious claim from Alex and an inconsistent one, if this happened there would be messages or some sort of evidence of this happening. He makes this sound like there were 100+ unfollows made, this isn't true. I was uncomfortable with no more than at least 5 people throughout our whole relationship and after.
He claims he reached out to a friend of his and told them i was hitting him, and that was why he never gave me his phone when i asked to see it after he was being shady, this is a lie as he actually said in the messages that he was in a discord call.
Alex has no proof of even sending his “friend” that message because it didn't happen.
He then claims id come into his room and take his phone off him to check it daily which i apparently admit to in my first document, again this is a lie. The only time I go through his phone is in this document now explained with the proof of me finding pictures of his ex.
He then claims in this story i try to take his phone out of his hands by force, again this is a lie.
I accused him of stalking his ex as that is what I saw when he gave me his phone after this all happened. Again this has all been put in this document already. I'm just calling out his lies in the order of this video he has made, he recycles a lot so I'm sorry this is repetitive.
He then claims after I try taking his phone I “push” him, this is a lie.
He uses this without any context again.
He says I threatened to hit him if he didn't hand over his phone yet we were in two completely different cities.
The context to this screenshot is after i left him and i found him following the girl he slept with while trying to still fix things. Here is the conversation.
Not once do I threaten to hit him as he claims so much in this video.
I blurred out the name of a girl i used to see, as he has also asked me to unfollow past relationships and i did for him.
He uses this as “proof” of me “having full access to his phone throughout the relationship”, nowhere does it say that.
He uses this as proof of me “still working” . The way I make money is through brand deals on tiktok/instagram and streaming, which I stopped all of. I also have an OF where I post cosplays and cute outfits. Alex didn’t like that I did this so I tried to make changes by moving platforms onto better known sites for being SFW as that was the content I made anyway.
He uses this and says i call his friends weird, yet did not show one message up, he is the one calling them weird.
Alex calls my friends weird, and his own at many occasions. In his whole story he has contradicted himself on every subject he's brought up, here is another conversation where we fell out over the phone and the context is in the texts, i've added this to more show the kind of person alex was when these things happened as it shows closest to how he spoke to me on calls. I want to say now, i call him horrible names back and in no way is it okay to use “bipolar” or “autistic” as an insult like i have here, i was very distraught after the whole day and you will read why.
Whole reason we are arguing here is because of the jokes about being abused and rape that he made about a muslim girl i invited from a game i played. I wasn't laughing and got very upset with Alex and he was mad at me for reacting this way.
Then using this as proof I was being horrible to his friends, Alex spent 0 time with me, so yes i got upset when he decided to play games with his friends that he slagged off all the time and not me. He never spent time with me, not even at dinner time.
After all the things he would tell me about his friends, everything being negative, I was questioning why he would rather spend time playing with them everyday and not spare an hour to hang out with me.
I wasn’t trying to be mean to those direct people I mentioned, they're lovely people as I learnt to believe after getting to know them.
In his own screenshots if you paused and read them, do not read what he says. Yes I was complaining, about him spending ZERO time with me and telling him I'm sad about it.
Proof he spent all day with them, and i didnt stop him.
He pulls up the same text using this as proof of me “not letting him see his friends”
He was with his friends daily, and I even pushed him to invite them over. He is lying.
His argument here makes no sense if he's saying “never let him”.
He then uses this conversation as me “controlling him” by asking him to stay home to help me instead of going to a party. I say in my first message “rather you didn't but it's your call”
Yes I am unhappy with Alex here, as I moved in on the 14th, this conversation happened on the 18th, just 4 days after moving in, we had been putting in the fridge, washing machine etc at the time and that's what the big deliveries are. On top of this bear was a kitten having his neutering surgery and needed monitoring for the day and after.
He then claims that the things he had to do on the days i asked him to stay home “didn't happen” thats a lie to fit his manipulated narrative. We did have deliveries I needed help with, they're big and heavy and I couldn't deal with them alone.
I thought it was very irresponsible of alex to not understand why i favoured him staying home with me at the time.
Showing before the 13th Alex was alone in the house and I hadn't moved in with him yet as I needed to sort a moving van.
Then showing me now living with him on the 14th.
This conversation happens on the 18th, 4 days after moving in with him.
He claims he wasn't allowed friends over, that was a lie. He mentioned his friends were planning to come stay over many times and not once did I ever tell him no. Alex shows no proof of his claim again as it was a lie.
About living together, there was no talk with Alex asking me to move in with him, it was assumed. Yes i helped him with viewings and that was after the fact, it does not prove i didn't feel scared about living together. Which I have proved happened in this document.
He uses this to defend his lie that i never showed concern to living with him, this is because he would tell me things will be okay and he will be better when we move in together, but i have added the argument in this document of me telling alex im scared to move in with him, and him getting angry with me.
.
I linked this whole conversation in this document already so i wont again, but this was another conversation where we spoke, i told him in scared and needed reassurance he would be better when we move and he treated me like shit for it. I will forever apologise for using the insults i did, but that doesn't change the fact i was vulnerable then shat on, i was reacting.
He claims he was the only one complaining about being “physically abused” yet Alex is talking about how he would use the fact i pushed him, as a “yea i did this but hey you did this!” when he then develops this story into a punch, then punch in the face. I correct him in every single conversation, the conversations of me bringing up him being physical, he literally admits to in some text messages, he says “i had to do something” or “it was a joke, i kicked you to get your attention”. He has lied and made me look as if I hit him constantly by manipulating the one and only incident that I even admitted to in my own statement where I slapped him once, out of fear and defending myself. Someone who was being “abused” by me would not egg me to do this then once i break and leave, keep ringing me to come back.
He uses this as “proof” of the story changing, Alex did kick me. This was after everything had happened and I was making excuses for him because I felt bad for him. I always felt bad for him after he would be horrible to me then grovel saying sorry and making excuses as to why and I believed him every time.
I'm going to be linking an audio, it's 30 minutes long. It's a voice note Alex sent me after I asked him to leave me alone. It's from the multiple unsent messages, he admits to kicking me in this audio. Alex is lying in his video, and has been since the very first second of recording. These voice messages are probably the most genuine you will hear Alex being, but he chose to lie and try to drag me down with him as if I was an abuser in his video. If I “manipulated” him to send voice notes, he would've known I had these, and stuck to the truth in his video.
Two occasions of admitting to kicking me.
He uses this and claims i never brought it up after the event took place, yet i've shared the whole conversation in this document where i keep telling him it is the reason i left, on the same day of leaving him. He is confidently lying again here.
The whole conversation is in the document further up.
He then claims i bring up him kicking me “throughout our relationship” when it is only ever mentioned after he does it and i move out when he just denied i ever brought it up to him. He shows no proof of his claim, because it's a lie. He then claims the video of him chasing me is not after kicking me, yet again lying.
At the end of the video you can see i'm in the living room, this aligns with what i said, where after he kicked me he followed me around as i grabbed things to leave with bear, after i stop recording he came into the living room to try say sorry and try hug me, i don't want to hug him, he gets up and says “don't say i didn't try” and leaves. This video is linked in my first statement.
He claims the reason for him chasing me is because i “hit him” and “threatened him” this again is a lie. You can see in the conversation I linked where I just left the house I keep telling him I left because he kicked me, not once does he claim I “hit him” in these messages, because he is lying and manipulating this story instead of taking accountability.
He says in his video again, that me recording him from being scared is a “lie” and that he hasn't kicked me, again Alex is lying and I feel I've added enough evidence by now for this to be clear that this did happen.
He then says this was after i “hit him” on the sofa, yet this whole event happened in the kitchen, he is again lying. I did not “assault” alex.
He uses this and says i kept changing the story to “sound worse” not once have i fabricated or lied about anything to make anything sound worse, unlike alex in this video. There screenshots he's shown are AFTER arguments that happened again and again after leaving, all he did was insult and remind me of the person he really was, i never asked for an apology for kicking me, it wouldn't have fixed it or made me forgive him, i do however tell him that if he apologised at the time he kicked me, things may have been different.
These screenshots are just proof that he was trying to fix things for a long time, then kept fucking up by insulting or giving me shit, not once do i manipulate him to do this.
For context that i'll give as alex missed on doing that, these texts are in march, way further into being split up, and me listening to him try, argue and be toxic again to then say sorry, this was a cycle i was VERY done with, and came to the conclusion he would not change.
We were for days, arguing over who follows who, as he admits to following ex’s to get my attention and hurt me in voice notes i've now attached after trying to make me seem “controlling” he would accuse me of the same.
He keeps pushing for a phone call, I don't want to call. Says I'm not letting him leave cause I won't call him, yet I'm the one who said it's done now and asking him to leave me alone. He does this to try to gain control, like he did in every argument.
Acting as if it was my fault and i made him stay in contact, when i gave him multiple chances to try to fix things with me without being horrible to me because he begged to try, begged for those chances, he kept on with this cycle so i said i'm done.
Talking about feeling sick picking up my belongings that he finally dropped at mine.
And after this I blocked his number. That is when he goes onto multiple socials to harass me, all of this is in my first document. Messaging me from 2 of his own tiktok accounts to my main and my second, on instagram and bears instagram page, emails and facebook. I eventually ended up blocking him on every single one, leaving facebook as he begged for me to not block him there.
Again in this conversation I'm about to show, Alex has gone back and unsent messages of him admitting to the night he dragged me on the 19th, as in his video he dismisses it completely and says it never happened, but I can show you anyway.
He says he's never insulted an ex before, that is a lie.
He sends me emails after i block him on messenger, we exchange emails until i end up blocking him here and go back to messenger.
He claims I am not empathetic because of BPD. I have heightened emotions and empathy is a massive one for me. I may have worded this terribly in my first statement but I didn't know how else to express the dynamic between us. I told him that when I feel emotions I feel them X100 i wanted him to be aware of this. I opened up about this a month into the relationship as we had argued and I struggled really badly afterwards. I felt as if my reactions were maybe heightened because of this and I was vulnerable with him.
He then claims I told him I'm “self diagnosed” this is a lie and I am not. He used this many times in our relationship and called me a mentally ill freak after reacting to his abuse. He was the one who used this against me, and admits to it in these messages i'll put below.
He adds no context to this picture, his only claim is that i told him i'm “self diagnosed” which is a lie, that he didn't even back up.
Here's more context, as the argument was me coming to him needing reassurance as he told me he didn't want me while arguing before. He says this was a “big part” of our relationship, and to me, compared to everything that happened this was miniscule. It may have played a part onto why i couldn't get over things he had done, it may play a part into why i reacted the way i did with such irrational language, and being able to cut off any ability to care after being put through so much, but this does not and will never take away from what i was reacting to, or the things alex did to me. I would never use my own mental issues as an excuse.
He pulls up a video i sent him on tiktok to help educate him a little, he says in his video i sent this after “verbally abusing him, hitting him and going through his phone” not once are these three points ever mentioned because they did not happen and he is lying, he adds no context or other text messages to prove this. I will now add the conversation, as the truth for this video, is after sending this alex got very angry at me and took it completely wrong. He hyper fixated on one section of this video, and i felt personally ignored, as he nit picked this and took it very negatively. This was a situation of bad communication on both parts, but to say i sent this to explain why i “hit and abuse him” is disgustingly wrong and a lie to try solidate his fake story.
This was again early in the relationship, in april.
He added a clip in the beginning where it talks about unstable relationships and how “falling short” can change someone with bpd’s image of the person they're dating.
The fact he has painted me out to be hitting him and abusing him, to then say I blame it on mental health is disgusting. Alex again then shows no proof of this, and i wanna get it across that this lie is vile, and never been said.
He says i told him as a way of saying “this is why i have issues” no i told him as i thought i was overreacting to his verbal abuse by scream crying telling him to stop over discord.
Not once do I ever blame my mental issues on my reactions to him as he claims, if anything I would tell him it has nothing to do with how I react as he used it as something to shit on me with, calling me mentally ill.
I've never used this as an excuse for anything I've ever done as he's tried to paint out. For example, the one time I slapped Alex I did not do that because of being “mentally ill” I did this because he was verbally abusing me. Trying to paint me as someone who used this as an excuse to react is disgusting and completely discredits everything I went through and everything I did back. I own the things I have said to Alex, and I own slapping him when I’ve felt cornered and overwhelmed. Just because someone has bpd, does not excuse behaviours or actions and i have never used it as an excuse.
He moves onto my birthday and says I lied, I haven't. I had the impression we would be hanging out on my birthday, not to then be told he will be seeing me at midnight. Here are all the texts from that day, where he tells me he can now only come over Monday “super late”.
He spoke about going to the event before, but never mentioned it was on my birthday that's why I asked him “how come”. He claims he went for “work” to pay for everything, he did not get paid to go to a movie premiere with his friends.
Alex texting me on the day of my birthday does not take from the fact he showed up at midnight, and would have rather gone to see star wars than to see me, he did not get paid to go.
Premieres don't work like this, you get invited to go, and maybe bring a plus 1 which i asked to be, this is for networking and seeing a movie before release, many influencers get invited to go and they do not pay you to attend, alex chose to go to this one with his friends as he likes starwars, that is it.
He puts up this screenshot to prove he bought me things for my birthday, and not once do i deny him buying me anything on my birthday, although again alex has lied when its not necessary,
Showing the shoes he bought me as a “sorry” present to me after arguing sometime in september, and buying “steelseries” headphones (i have my own pair already and recommended these) for himself for home, that he ended up giving to me to use at his house as we made a small set up for when i came over to game with each other, yes he bought me birthday gifts he came over with the ahri figure and some bits he picked up on the day. I'm not sure why he felt a need to add other things on as if they were also birthday gifts when they aren't.
He then says he believes it was written as he claims i “forgot” his birthday, i'm not sure why he felt as if he was my #1 priority as again, we were broken up, i had left him after everything and i was not going to be calling him at midnight to wish him happy birthday and that is why he got annoyed at me.
But here are the text messages.
After he hinted for me to call, I called him to wish him happy birthday. That warranted him to be annoyed at me for not texting him or calling him at midnight.
The last two are screenshots of him just keeping on the “you forgot” when i've expressed so much i hadn’t and on the day i was busy as it is also my brothers birthday.
To add to this context, this was AFTER leaving Alex, where we stood on very thin ice. I'm giving him chances to “change” as he wants me back and tries to fix things.
In his video he claims i came up behind him and told him “i've slept with many people due to hyper sexuality” this is a lie. He then says the video he was watching had nothing to do with the subject, again lying.
How this went, is Alex was sitting at the table, and I was standing by the sink washing up after dinner, this sets me a little in front of Alex to his right side, not behind him. He was on his laptop scrolling tiktoks for his youtube video and came across one where a girl was talking about being hypersexual after abuse, i then while still standing at the sink facing away from alex mention to him that i have been through SA and experienced this trauma response, in no way did i say “i've slept with many people” but that is clearly how alex heard it as he reacted horribly and is now carrying on with that narrative in his video. Not that it is anyone's business and I'm not about to make this document me talking about my sexual assaults, I have not slept with alot of people, and have only experienced being “hyper” in one relationship of mine after I was assaulted.
After I texted him he came in and apologised to me. Anything he says after, saying I pushed him and made him sleep in another room is a lie. Here is the text.
Alex goes onto say, i only mentioned and lied about this story because of the conversation he has with me about his own sexual assault, now this subject is sensitive and has alot more to it then alex perceives. And him bringing this up with me, is not why I mentioned this in my first statement.
I wanna start by mentioning that alex does not tell me about this throughout the relationship, there was a moment where we were both out, with friends at a comic con in may and alex had noticed i was in a group chat planning days to go out with new friends i had made, he is in the scene and an influencer also so he was in this group chat. Alex asks who is in this chat, and I mention all of the names and he gets very angry at me for being in this chat and asks me to leave it. I leave the group chat and ask Alex why and he rants to me there that he hates this person and that he assaulted him.
There was a pub story that Alex opened up to me about, that does not involve this same guy, which is what I quote in the messages he shows.
The only way i can explain this is being as honest as i can be, but the guy involved in this had reached out to me, i did not purposely go follow and reach out to them.
He first heard about me from the scene, where people were already talking about mine and Alex’s relationship as there were people who had witnessed his behaviour towards me who spoke about us at parties etc. that is what im told, So he had also heard everything and reached out to me, i mentioned in our first interactions about the allegations made against him by alex, he told me that he had known about these allegations from others telling him before and he denied it ever happening, he tells me his relationship with alex and how alex had fucked him over and his friends, this is in no way my business so i left it there and did not get inbetween the two of them.
In no way did I try to reach out to “hurt” Alex like he is painting in this video, and it's a lot more complicated than that.
So I had heard from Alex's ex, that he was going around a party that there was a “transcript” of things Alex had said to me. I brought this up in our first interactions and he tells me he knows the guy with this information and can get me in contact with him. This is why I am in contact with this man, and as it so happens, he gets me in contact with him after a few weeks and that is where I then receive the “transcript” this is in the document further up i already linked it in here. That is also why I lied to Alex and didn’t tell him anything.
I want to add, I was very dismissive and not fair to Alex when he was talking to me about this on messenger, but this was at the very end of us being in contact and I had asked him to leave me alone multiple times. I do regret the way I came across to Alex when he was talking to me about this, but having been shown what Alex had screamed at me in calls refreshed my mind on why I'm asking him to leave me alone and I did not show any sympathy for Alex at that time.
He's left out some context that I will now add, but I will be blurring names and won't be sharing more than what Alex had shown in his video of his own story out of respect, but I can show more context on this conversation.
Just before alex brought this all up to me, he was spamming me for days, after i left a goodbye message and asked him to stop contacting me
I've linked the conversation after this in this document already, where I keep telling him no, and it cannot be fixed and to leave me alone.
That is when he spams me, after I ignore his spam he then moves onto honestly what i saw as a manipulation tactic to get me to reply. Which I now see was wrong of me to think, as he was just upset seeing that this person had reached out to me but in no way had i gone to follow them as a way to hurt alex. Im adding some screenshots for timeline context.
It then goes to May, where friends have been informed and he was texting me over it asking me to not say anything, and I was confronting him asking him why he has lied to his friends, twisting stories and at a point he brings up the assault again.
The reason i was so dismissive was because i asked alex to leave me alone so much before this conversation, i never meant for my words to come across so rude and i do regret that as i try tell alex i did not mean it in the way it came across, i did not blame him for anything happening to him regarding his assault and to tell him to just defend himself was wrong of me, i had the impression that this was just one time and that his assaulter was winding him up about a story he shared and this was very insensitive of me but in no way had i reached out to this person to hurt alex, that was not my intention and it was them reaching out to me.
The whole conversation onwards is just glazing over the fact he is lying to his friends and trying to spin narrative to me.
He then says in the video that i was harassing him for a year after this statement came out, me replying to multiple fake accounts harassing me, is not harassment to alex.
I had multiple people commenting and asking specific questions about Alex and I was just clearing up and answering them. I know I shouldn't and I should have ignored these but I was defending myself.
He has been stalking me since i came out, screenshotting every reply, every tweet and claiming it is harassment, when all i am doing is replying or talking about healing, and how multiple accounts harass me. I ended up blocking around 15+ fake accounts commenting the exact same thing.
He goes onto the subject of his “former” editor dankyjabo, i had multiple sources telling me that he was still working with alex, this was information i was given, i did not go out of my way to get this information as it was sent to me. Multiple creators gained this suspicion and named many other youtubers not just dankyjabo, this is the information i ever went off.
To say I was harassing him or jabo is a lie since this was not me making these claims, I was just repeating what I was told, and I believed it.
Me reposting a tweet is not harassment.
To say i had anything to do with this is reaching, all i did was show someone what had been sent to me, as it was weird for jabo to dismiss something so serious that is why i repost.
He says this was claimed “proof” of them knowing each other, when it was actually proof of Jabo dismissing the question of why he was still working with alex.
To claim I made this “conspiracy” and that this is me harassing him is not true, I had no idea who Alex's editor actually was until this all came about. All i ever knew about him was negative comments alex would make about him and slagging him off for “fucking up” his videos and doing a terrible job editing them.
Anything said on dankyjabo after receiving this screenshot is not from me, but from others speculating the same thing.
He uses this screenshot and says i “accused him” of being close to kaitclyzm, when actually if you read the whole thing i had a random comment mention her and i asked him who she was.
He uses this screenshot and claims it was 2 months after breaking up and i was “still monitoring his socials” and “trying to prevent him from being friends with anyone” this is a lie, i simply asked him who she was as i got a comment about her that is it. He doesn't show the rest of the conversation because it would go against his story when really he was still trying to fix things with me and this was not me being controlling in any way.
This was me asking him if he said we broke up anywhere online, and it was a month after i left alex.
This was the rest of the conversation.
He goes on to talk about his other exes, and I already linked mine and Jess's conversation.
I did not abuse Alex, and his defense saying I did are lies.
To then use a screenshot of me apologising for starting one argument within the 10+ months of abuse I received claiming it discredits everything i went through is wrong.
He does not add any context to this conversation because he would then be proving himself wrong.
This was over me answering the phone with a low tone of voice saying im going to bed, he got angry over this, so yes i feel like i started it and i apologise.
I'm going to now post the whole conversation, and you can judge what went on here.
After I said I'm sleeping now, Alex called me. I answered and told him I'm going to bed now, goodnight and he responded with “bye” and hung up.
Again starts to insult me calling me a freak, so i give back the exact same energy.
I started to mirror Alex's behaviour.
He goes on to say he didn't act like nothing happened, and used his skin infection as proof, when this only got worse if he didn’t use the medication and cream he was prescribed, this had nothing to do with me.
He claims I “stonewalled” him, yes I would stop responding to Alex after he would spam me with insults and argue with me being aggressive.
To say the clips i had of alex screaming physical threats at me, was just me poking and filming his “reaction” or “breakdowns” when that isn’t the case, the context of most of those clips are alex being angry that i didn't go about something the way he wanted me to, like the conversations about posting videos. These were a daily occurrence and very traumatising, the whole reason why I clipped it.
I've spoken about this already, but again, to imply the word I know is very wrong and I am sorry about that.
But I did not actually use this full word, especially in the contexts Alex used it. I take full accountability for this and the name in my phone, I was ignorant and I really am deeply sorry.
He uses this as “proof” of me being racist, yet I was talking about playing cod with him, and yes I swear on that game, like the rest of the population on that game. This is not me being racist or saying I am going to be, this is just how I am, I swear a lot. In no way did I “brag” about being racist or bring this into the relationship, but that's all I can say now and after everything I've now put out I'll leave it for others to make their own opinions on this. To use these words aggressively towards me, and even get angry at me for not laughing when he joked about my muslim friend being raped and killed is racist, to now try to project this onto me is wrong.
To say I was planning on this, and building this since dating, is just a lie. If this was the case I wouldn't have said the things I did, none of this was “planned”.
I retaliated badly in this relationship and I will forever be apologetic for the words I used that offended others. But it is the right thing to do, after he has lied about the whole relationship to just put everything out there from both sides. I will not hide from anything I've done because I truly do want to move on from this, heal and better myself.
I am not the same person I was back in that relationship, and looking back I shouldn't have reacted the way I did but what's done is done. I take full accountability for the bad things I said, and for being pushed so far into doing things I regret.
I will leave this here, and hopefully someday Alex will admit to his wrongdoings instead of projecting them onto me and others like he has in this video.
Regarding my dear bear, my cat, he is okay and safe with me. For Alex to threaten to harm him was not okay and I did my best to keep him away from this man after threats were made. This would make any owner feel and act the same way, for you to see how Alex treated me and to hear the threats not only on me but on my pet made me very untrusting.
Since writing this, Alex has made another response to all of my tweets and in all honesty I have no intention to respond to it, everything is on the table here.