Gemar Chatima Tova, one and all.

As Doreen did, I ask your mechila for things I have done or not done, large and small, this past year. If I have harmed, hurt, or offended you in any way, I do ask your forgiveness. If it is something that we need to discuss, please reach out to me so that we can make a time.

I would like to quickly perform a custom which I have just recently learned of. As you know, Yom HaKippurim is the time of atonement for all sins between us and God. However, it does not atone for sins between us and other people. We may not have made amends with everyone in time for Yom Kippur. Let us pray that we have the time and fortitude to do so as soon as possible. In the meantime, there is a custom that the Ben Ish Chai^[1] records and it goes like this:

וטוב שהחזן יכריז קודם "כל נדרי" לומר: רבותי, תמחלו זה לזה!

ויאמרו הקהל: מחלנו!

And it is good for the cantor to declare before Kol Nidrei: “Gentlemen, forgive one another!”

And the community should say “We have forgiven.”

I think it is worthwhile for us to perform this custom together; it costs little but can very helpful. Ladies and gentlemen. Please, consider your neighbors, and let us each forgive one another and go in to Yom HaKippurim with a clean slate. Let us have nothing hang over us, let us not be the reason another has something hanging over them going into Yom HaKippurim, the day of atonement.

רבותי, תמחלו זה לזה!

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As we have discussed on a few occasions now, God created us in His image, giving us the strength and skill to build, produce, and accomplish throughout our days and years.

וַיִּבְרָ֨א אֱלֹהִ֤ים ׀ אֶת־הָֽאָדָם֙ בְּצַלְמ֔וֹ בְּצֶ֥לֶם אֱלֹהִ֖ים בָּרָ֣א אֹת֑וֹ זָכָ֥ר וּנְקֵבָ֖ה בָּרָ֥א אֹתָֽם׃

וַיְבָ֣רֶךְ אֹתָם֮ אֱלֹהִים֒ וַיֹּ֨אמֶר לָהֶ֜ם אֱלֹהִ֗ים פְּר֥וּ וּרְב֛וּ וּמִלְא֥וּ אֶת־הָאָ֖רֶץ וְכִבְשֻׁ֑הָ וּרְד֞וּ בִּדְגַ֤ת הַיָּם֙ וּבְע֣וֹף הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם וּבְכׇל־חַיָּ֖ה הָֽרֹמֶ֥שֶׂת עַל־הָאָֽרֶץ׃

 And God made man in His image. In the image of God, He created him. Male and female He created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them “be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and conquer it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of heaven, and over all living things that creep on the earth.” (Gen. 1:27-28).

God bids us to use this blessing and drive “for creative activity”;^[2] He gave us the intelligence to conquer seas and sky, medicine and technology. We dream of curing illness and extending life, ensuring enough food for each hungry child, succeeding in our respective fields. These are all things we do because we are made in the image of God. So much of our lives are taken up with these activities of building and planting in various modes.

But if we depicted Judaism as being about nothing more than building and planting, accomplishing and struggling forward and onward, we would not be telling the full story. How does this ethos explain many other things we do and often do not do?

Consider this beautiful midrash:

שיר השירים רבה (וילנא) פרשה ז ב

בטנך ערמת חטים…ערמת חטים, ערמת של חטאים,

סוגה בשושנים אלו ד"ת שהן רכים כשושנים…

 א"ר לוי בנוהג שבעולם, אדם נושא אשה בן ל' שנה בן מ' שנה, משמוציא יציאותיו הוא בא לזקק לה, והיא אומרת לו כשושנה אדומה ראיתי, ופורש ממנה מיד, מי גרם לו שלא יקרב לה, איזה כותל ברזל יש ביניהם, ואיזה עמוד ברזל ביניהם, אי זה נחש נשכו, איזה עקרב עקצו שלא יקרב לה, דברי תורה שרכין כשושנה, שנא' בה (ויקרא י"ח) ואל אשה בנדת טומאתה לא תקרב,

וכן מי שהביאו לו תמחוי של חתיכות, אמרו לו חלב נפל שם, ומשך ידו ולא טעמו, מי גרם לו שלא לטעום, איזה נחש נשכו שלא יטעום, ואיזה עקרב עקצו שלא יקרב ויטעם אותו, דברי תורה שרכין כשושנה שכתוב בה (ויקרא ג') כל חלב וכל דם לא תאכלו.

Song of Songs Rabbah (7:3:2)

Rabbi Levi says: It often happens…one who has a tray of meats brought before him. They said to him “some forbidden meat has fallen into there” and he withdraws his hand and does not taste it. Who causes him not to eat it? Did a snake bite him? Did a scorpion sting him so that he draws no closer to taste?

Only the words of Torah, soft as a bed of lilies.

In a well known image, this midrash also depicts the young couple who must separate  from each other due to the laws of Niddah. As Rabbi Soloveitchik paraphrases in his great essay Confrontation:

“Bride and bridegroom are young, physically strong and passionately in love with each other. Both have patiently waited for this rendezvous to take place. Just one more step and their love would have been fulfilled, a vision realized.”^[3] And yet, at times they must take a step back from each other, withdraw. No one applauds them, no one heaps praise upon them, no one knows of their sacrifice. This requires great discipline.

איזהו גיבור? הכובש את יצרו

Who is strong? One who conquers his drives. (Avot 4:1)

This is a different kind of strength. Not the ability to conquer what is beyond and outward but the ability to conquer that which is within. We overcome ourselves. This is so regarding so many aspects of our lives; times when we must demonstrate patience and hold our tongue; times when we must control our appetites; times when we must control our anger.

It is obvious that the next 25 hours or so will not be hours of מלאו את הארץ וכבשוה; fill the earth and subdue it. We will not go to work, we will not think of financial matters, we will not research, plan, or build. But we will be called upon to demonstrate great strength- גבורה. Inner strength, discipline. The ability to, when necessary, pull back from the world because this is also an important path to take in building. Though, in this case, we are what is being built.

I will again- I cannot help myself- draw upon the words of the wise 2nd century Roman emperor and philosopher, Marcus Aurelius.

In the 5th section of his wonderful Meditations, he writes as follows, encouraging himself to get out of bed and get moving, to sacrifice and put in effort:

“You don’t love yourself enough. Or you’d love your nature too, and what it demands of you. People who love what they do wear themselves down doing it, they even forget to wash or eat. Do you have less respect for your own nature than the engraver does for engraving, the dancer for the dance, the miser for money or the social climber for status? When they’re really possessed by what they do, they’d rather stop eating and sleeping than give up practicing their arts.” (Meditations 5.1)

We all have our arts. Worthy and good things, religiously and spiritually imperative. But we have a different work to engage in today, a different art to perfect. For just a few hours, we work on our hearts and souls, we mend our characters, seek out our deficiencies and fill them in. Why should we value ourselves any less than the dancer or the social climber? Why should we value our middot, our virtues, and our relationships with God any less than artists and traders and bankers?

We will not eat or drink for the next few hours. We will be all gevura, all inner strength. Let us begin.