Untitled Short Story
By yours mewly!
Blythe was not royalty, nor was she noble by any stretch of the imagination. Now, did this stop her from acting as such? HAHAHAHAHAHA, no. In fact, her name was not originally Blythe, but she changed it because she figured it suited a “dazzling woman like herself” better. She is not too fond of certain types of cheese.
Blythe is lucky. Blythe has two friends who are more than willing to indulge in her fantasies with her! Everyone say “Hi, Blythe!”
“Bring me thine finest gourmets, posthaste!” Blythe shouted upon her throne. Her two “henchmen” (besties!) quickly rushed over. “Y-yes, your majesty! One freshly prepared meal, coming right up!” her dragonfly companion responded. They turned to ask their other friend, who happens to be a rat. “Uh. . . What does she want, exactly? You can never be too sure, ehehe. . .)”
The rat responded: “I don’t actually know myself! Whaddaya say we whip up a whole feast? I’ll throw in some cheese, ‘cause who DOESN’T like cheese!”
And so, the two got to work.
“Here you are, o noble one!”
“Eyyyyy, we made it with LOVE!!”
“At last, mine feast hath arrived. I shall not let this good deed go unnoticed!”
Blythe ate, ate some more, and continued eating.
“Mmmh… this is good!”
She, you guessed it, continued eating. However, one bite was different. This time, when she swallowed, her cheeks still felt full.
“Oh? Dat’sh shtrange. I could’ve shworn I shwallowed alweady….”
“Errr, maybe it’s just your imagination?”
“Yeh, we know you have one ‘a those!”
“Naw, dish ish shomething I can feew. Awso, pway teww, ish mah boddum wip geddin biggah?”
Blythe pondered, lip hanging down and flapping as she did so.
“Yew diddenh habben da ushe any gowgonshowwah*, did yah? Yew know I’m awwawgic…”
“Rats! I didn’t know, ma’am! (I can’t believe the exact type a’ cheese I’m a fan a’ is the one that’d cause a reaction within ‘er…)”
“YEW TWO!! PHHHHIND ME A CUWE, AD ONSCHE!! I CANNAWD BE SHEEN WIKE DISH!! ID’SH UNBEPHHHHIDING OPH A PWESENCHE SUCH ASH MINESHEWF!!”
Blythe exclaimed, drooling involuntarily as a result of her swollen lip making it impossibie to fully close her mouth.
“Presence is right, ehehehe. . .”
The rat on the other end of the room tried really hard not to chuckle.
“I HEAWD DAH!! Geep wauphing and I’ww shhhhend mah men aphhhta yew…”
“But… we- *heh* we ARE your men, boss!”
“CUWSHESH!! Yawwe wight. Yew shhhaw be shhhpawed, phhhhow nauh…”
“U-unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like t-there’s a cure, beyond just waiting for it to go down. . .”
“Sho you’wwe shayin’, dat ah’m shhhduck wike dish… fow a wong dime? How humiwwiading…
Owh weww, ah guessshhh ah can ged ushed da dissshh…”
Her two friends tried to comfort her.
“Ey, uh, dis was our fault, and we should’ve checked in with you first. Sorry about that!!”
“We’ve, eheh, got a third controller with your name on it if you wanna play Lightning Strikers with us!”
“You’wwe mush do mawdesht.” She responded, through comically bloated cheeks and lip. “Bud ya know ah’m awwayshhh down phhhhhhow a wemadch!”
EPILOGUE
“Shewphhantsh… ashhhh humiwwiading asssshh it ishhh… ah awneshhdwy ginda enjoyed dish phhheewin’. Ah enjoy geddin’ da shhpend dime wiphhh yew!” she declared.
“It’s nice to be able to hang out with you too, honethtly. Honethtly! Did I alwayth have a lithp? Ah, you mutht be rubbing off on me, ehehe. . .” the dragonfly mused.
*Gorgonzola - A type of blue cheese. Chosen because it seemed like it’d be the funniest to say with obfuscated speech.