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Putting the ”N” in news

May 24th, 2016

Bads in Black Special Edition:

The  Necrotic Laborers Union

By Jean Babtise -Chief Field Reporter


As people might have noticed, the undead are a little, kinda, sortof, pretty, very, mad. Mostly over completely unreasonable stuff like, and I quote “We murder them constantly for no reason” and “We are literally starving to just “dead” ”. Stuff like “Basic civil liberties” and what have you, generic union spear waving. But how bad is it? To find out, Jean Baptise, Ace Reporter, has gone undercover on one of their protest rallies.

The speaker in question is one “Casper Stalled” a undead who claims to have “Escaped from Grimloch”,  whatever that means (Maybe he’s a member of Invictus?). Honestly, his beret looks stupid.

Hold on a zombie nearby is trying to talk to me? Why yes I do look like Jean Baptise, yes that is a weird coincidence.
Am I Jean Baptise? Wow, that’s a great question isn’t it. But I like to point out that just because someone who looks like Baptise is at a rally doesn’t really make him that guy. I think you should be a little more trusting of people.

“Greetings my fellow undead. I have only one question, are we people? Do we not think, can we not be angry? For if we are able to mourn our fellows, if you are able to successfully be the foundation from which an entire nation churns, can we be nothing else but people?” Asked an undead

“You, my fellows, are capable of all these things. You feel wronged when your brethren are killed, you slave in their apple orchards so that their wooden trinkets have any value. Therefore, how can we not be anything but people.

And, as people, it is only natural that this nation has incurred a very, very, longstanding debt.  For they do not treat people well at all.

They kill us on the street at the same moment they demand we harvest their grain, that we bake their bread, that we let them sustain themselves so that they need not move until they can murder or drink for their bloodsports.

We must let them know that until they treat their people properly, their people will not treat them properly. And if it comes to blows… well then, it is fortunate for us that our leaders already massacre us without reserve, for there is nothing they can do to us that they are not already doing.

They need us, we don’t need them.” Casper Preached

The zombie onlookers are… well confused that brains were not mentioned, but they liked the part where they are stabbed less.Looks like this protest has only just begun.  This is Jean Baptise signing- oh crap my fake mustache fell off.

TOC of the town

 (the birth of a nickname)

By Editor in Chief Dresden Silverspring

Well it’s that time of year again…

Creathorne lands are holding their annual tournaments, and this editor in chief could not be more excited to go. I’ve got lists upon lists of what I need to bring to make it a weekend that will be hard to forget (though some manage it). I always look forward to seeing familiar faces, and reconnecting with those that adventure in far away lands. This will be my third TOC and I can tell you thus far in my experience I have learned:

  1. Be prepared.
  1. Extra socks/clothes/shoes

  1. Rain stuff (ponchos/waterproof bag)

  1. Water
  2. Food that stays good besides peanut butter (jerky/canned/crackers etc)
  3. Money for the store
  4. Don’t forget sleeping stuff
  1. Drink Water, so much water.
  1. Try to drink as much water as you are alcohol or  at least 1 to 2 ratio.

  1. Sweating dehydrates you, so if you are active you should be having 1 bottle per hour of activity, and 1 within 30 minutes after you're finished
  1. Pace yourself  You definitely want to hit the night quest

  1. Seriously,  did I mention the water?

  1. Bring more than a Jar of Peanut Butter for the whole weekend.

    Indeed some of you may recall this Editor in chief often going by the moniker of “PB”, or “Peanut Butter”. The origin of this nickname is steeped in mystery and intrigue (well not really). I brought a jar of Peanut butter (a giant one) and a spoon to my first TOC. That’s it. Gold wasn’t as plentiful and I was still petitioning The Illustrious Nation of Neden, and it being my first TOC I imagined there would be plenty of water and food available. I’m sure there was, but also being Green to the gills It wasn’t easy to

approach anyone regarding this grievous error in judgement. Luckily Neden came to the rescue with plenty of food, water and non Peanut foodstuffs; they went above and beyond to welcome a then new recruit.

  So this editor in chief is delivering a public service announcement to all those new adventurer readers who are traveling to creathorne lands at weeks end.

Don’t be like Peanut Butter.

 

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Trouble on Ghost Fog Island!!

Syruss’ Petitioner Adventure

 by Sir Syruss O’Leary of Neden


We here at the Neden Kazoo learned from the town off of the southern tip of Ghost Fog Island( A mysterious Island that has always been in Neden) that is  has been spooked by an a scary specter. The ghastly ghoulish ghost could be that of Fog Ghost Island's discoverer Professor Thomas Honest. Professor Honest thinks it's the ghost of the infamous Captain Moneys Bones who has come back for his lost jewels rumored to be that of Atlantis itself however Professor Susan Shifty just is not sure about that.

Cabby Ditch Zodiark and I met up with Gumbo...We asked Z to join us but he laughed, then laughed maniacally then louder and louder till we all just walked away.

We met up with Professor Susan Shifty and she told us that once a citizen discovered the famous Ghost, and tried to shoot it, but the bullet passed right through. Cabby claimed that might be an important clue.  She also saw the creature look around her tent. That was the area where Capt. Money Bones had died at the hands of his first mate, First Mate Frederick Morgan the most famous First mate ever (seriously he is like 20 guys first mate).
Professor Shifty told us she needed help to prove that the ghost was a fake one.  She also told Cabby, that Prof. Thomas Honest looked a bit-annoyed at her for calling us.

We started helping out, and of course, it was Ditch and Gumbo who first discover the Ghost like Creature. They spotted him deep within the ruins of the island (every island has spooky ruins FACT. The creature was digging in the ruins, and dropped some objects. Then tossed the dirt on them.

The Ghost spotted the boys, but then turned back to his own work. Gumbo and Ditch came out once they were finished watching. They came to me, and told me what they had seen. Prof. Honest was at the site, he was once again arguing with Prof. Susan Shifty. Both are keeping with their thoughts. Once they left, Cabby made a remark. "They won't stop fighting until we

put the lid on this caper." I agreed with Cabby

This time around we split up into two teams....again....

Team #1 - Syruss and Zodiark

Team #2 - Cabby, Ditch and Gumbo

Team #1 was to look though Prof. Susan Shifty's laboratory.

Team #2 was to go back to the cave and hunt down the Ghost.

My team found the Ghost spooking Prof. Susan Shifty, The Ghost spotted us and took off with some old test tubes and lights, a box of old wires, and a two jars of gears and bolts…

(Continued on page 2)

 (Trouble on Ghost Fog Island continued)

Prof. Susan Shifty claims that no crook would steal those worthless parts. Meanwhile…

 Cabby's Team didn't find the Ghost, but did find a strange UFO. A spooky silver-covered thing with four golden long wing sticks. One of them was bent. Cabby and Gumbo tried to the open the door, but couldn't. As they waited, they saw the Super Scary Ghost appear and spook Ditch and Gumbo out of the cave. Cabby followed.

We talked about the Ghost, Cabby is convinced it's Prof. Susan Shifty, who's is trying to scare Prof. Honest out of the island's ruins, so she can claim them for herself.

 

The Ghost at his house was an illusion and some basic seer magic proved it. I planned a trap with, of course, Gumbo and Ditch as bait.

Gumbo baited the Ghost into the trap. It looked like we had trapped the Ghost, but then it split into five parts. One head, one body, two arms and two legs and it took off!

"Nice going, Ditch." stated a new voice. We turned to see a familiar face, Z and Naj.. "What's going on?" I asked.

Naj and Z told us that they were following a Boniara, a race that looked a human Ghost. The name of the creature is Crockia. Crockia is a crook and is hiding jewels from the Boniara. Naj and Z also told us that Ghost creatures can split into five parts because most of their major body organs (brain, lungs and heart) are in their skulls. Crockia is pretty good at hiding, but Naj told us that he had a item to locate the body parts. Each one of us started hunting.....

Zodiark founded one of the legs.

I located the body and another leg.

Cabby found both arms.

We heard a yell. It was familiar to us. It was the "HOLY MOLY" of Ditch. Naj also heard the screeching sound of Crockia's laugh. Within a few seconds, Gumbo and Ditch crashed into us...and Crockia's head ended up in Naj's arms. Upset, that she landed in Naj's arms, Crockia pulled her herself together and attacked Naj and Z, who immediately started casting lightning bolt. It's seems that Crockia was stronger than Naj or Z. Then, Zodiark got an idea. He asked Gumbo and Ditch to run around Crockia. Gumbo and Ditch did it....and Crockia ended up dog-tired on the floor

After Naj put Crockia in prison and recollected the magical jewels, we found an odd chest. It seems to be that of Captain Money Bones. Just then a thin pirate ghost appeared, "A Million Pounds of Thanks for Finding That ! Now I can to rest in peace." stated the ghost.
"That must have been the real ghost !",Naj says.
Naj and Z transport the captured  being (turns out not a ghost) into Neden’s newly acquired spaceship (a story for another day) and take off for the castle.

Also Naj notes that two other bystanders were involved in this caper, both Shape Shifting Boniara. Prof. Thomas Honest and Susan Shifty. Susan Shifty revealed that she had used a solid illusion orb to make us think that we had found the Ruins of the island.  Prof. Honest knew that Shifty was faking the Magical Ruins to bait us into the mystery, which worked.
"What's next, a real mermaid?" ask Ditch. "Now that's one creature, I wouldn't mind seeing !." stated Gumbo.


Just then, a report from the scrying orb straight from  Lord Nymbous comes in. “The real Ruins have been found and the owners of the ship we found are starting to wake up.” Nymbous Stated

“Well petitioners looks like we have another mystery to solve. To the conundrum carriage” I exclaimed with pride.
"Here we go again..." moans Ditch.
And we all laughed!

NEDEN WORD SEARCH

CIDER

FAMILY

GOLD

GREBINAR

HANDSOME

MAGICITEM

NORTH

QUESTING

RAWLIN

RAZMITH

RITUAL

SHADOW

SIFF

SIRSYRUSS

SPELLS

Neden Crossword (Cross Words not Streams)

Across

1. Teams run their Head of State

6. Mother Nature Mother Earth

7. Is the Best Bard and Master of all the River Birds

9. Papa Bear of Folkestone

12. Leading cause of retired Adventures

13. Says he best Bard in the lands

14. Don't let him walk off with your dead but buy his jerky

Down

2. Not good for supporting houses but really good in line battles

3. the is the worlds best gnome

4. old fights young for bragging rights treachery vs youth

5. Only one a weekend what?!?!

8. These guys know their way around a kitchen

10. Often Working with Litches
11. How do the keep those so clean,bleach?