{Observation 12: Broken and Caged Bird}

(Thomas)

“Damn… is there nothing I can do?”

Trapped in the small, discolored and damaged room, I kicked the wall only to wince in pain.

“Ow!”

I guess I should have seen that coming.

My attention turned towards the only person left in the room with me; Ruri, who was still in the corner, blissfully unaware of our situation.

Out of us three, she was the oldest, so maybe she would have had more insight to this situation… well, and there was the fact that she could have gotten information from the spirits.

Not that it mattered while she was under the influence of some power.

I sighed and sat on the desk, a dull pain aching in both my foot and my stomach.

The aftereffects of kicking, and being kicked.

I looked at the door worried, knowing that Lucy wouldn’t have been killed off, but that didn’t make me any less anxious.

The fact was, she was being forced to do something for our captors because me and Ruri were being held hostage.

Meanwhile, I had already given up on escaping from the room.

I felt pathetic.

But no matter how hard I tried to think of a solution, I couldn’t come up with anything.

I wasn’t as smart as the others; I couldn’t just think things through logically, let alone follow their line of thought normally.

The only reason I was able to converse without being lost was because I could read their minds, and get the gist of it that way.

Most of what I came up with on my own was optimistic; even I was aware of that.

I wish that my feelings could open the door and let us escape, but I knew that wasn’t possible.

So all that was left for me to do was either to wait, or to look more closely into Ruri’s memories.

I did the same on Laurence when he had collapsed in front of my home.

It could only work on someone that wasn’t conscious, and by not conscious I didn’t mean people who fell asleep naturally, I meant people who were knocked unconscious or blacked out for some reason.

I wasn’t sure why it worked that way, it just did.

So now that Ruri was unconscious, it was only natural for me to think about doing it since I rarely got the chance too… right?

I looked more closely at her face, peacefully unaware of our current situation, and looked down at the concrete floor, ashamed.

I didn’t have any reason to doubt her story; her thoughts so far had lined up with everything she did and said.

The only reason I would check would simply be for my own curiosity.

So, I guess I won’t do it.

A hero wouldn’t do that!

If anything, a hero wouldn’t give up, no matter how hopeless the situation, so if I haven’t found a way out, then I must not be trying hard enough!

I got up with new energy and rapidly looked around every inch and corner of the room.

Is there a key taped underneath this desk!?

No!

Is there something to get the hinges of the door to come off?

No.

Is there a loose rock conveniently placed somewhere that opens up a secret passageway outside...?

No…

…This is stupid!

I mean, come on, you’re supposed to be the bad guys!

Obviously, you needed to overlook something completely obvious so that the heroes could take advantage of it!

You fail as bad guys!

F minus!

Go back to school!

………………

Wait… school?

It was as though something struck the back of my head, like lightning… or was it thunder?

It gave me a shock, whatever it was.

All of a sudden, a wave of memories flooded into me… no, it was far too small for me to consider them a flood.

* * * * * *

I was staring up at a big white building, with blinding light pouring down in a clear blue sky.

It was hot.

I think I had something cold in my hand…

My eyes wandered over to the view of the ocean right next to it.

Wow.

It was vast and endless, larger than the school I previously thought was big.

I was there, looking at it with awe.

I know I was.

Then I turned back to the white building.

School…

School.

This was school.

I frowned as far as I could.

It didn’t feel good.

“Hey, buck up. It doesn’t look that bad.”

I stared at the visage right next to me.

It was a bunch of black scribbles, obscuring his face and voice.

I could hear his thoughts though; he definitely thought it wasn’t all that bad.

He thought it looked cool.

Giving it a second look over, I did see that it’s design was very different from my previous school.

The white stone was ingrained with colorful symbols all throughout, and there was a walkway on each side, covered by transparent windows, leading to another building.

There were three buildings here, for different….. What was the word?

Different… ages?

Grades?

...Yes, that was it, it was grades.

I didn’t know which building I was going to be in yet.

That was what I thought about more than how cool the designs strewn throughout the buildings walls were.

Perhaps noticing I was still lacking in enthusiasm, the scribble scratched his scribble-y chin.

“Hey, I had to leave my friends behind too.”

I stared back up at him and spoke up.

“You had friends?”

It wasn’t with malice.

I was genuinely surprised when he had said that.

But the scribble smiled painfully at me.

“Well… you need at least two to make it plural, right?”

My surprise was replaced with disappointment and I brought the ‘something cold’ to my lips.

It was a water bottle.

“...Look, the point is, I know how hard it is to be away from people you care about. I’m coming here with no friends either, you know? So…”

The scribble trailed off, embarrassed, but his thoughts continued.

...you’re not alone. We’re brothers, so you can rely on me.

I was surprised again, then I gave a small smile.

“...Yeah, you’re right.”

The scribble made an upset face in response.

“Hey, what did I tell you about reading my mind?”

“Eh? It’s not like I can help it.”

I shrugged and looked towards the city, a vast landscape of tightly spaced buildings.

It was so crowded and lively, and it smelt… lifeless.

I hadn’t seen a single flower since moving here.

I never paid attention to the nature that surrounded me back home, but I was now aware of just how nice the outside was.

It made me even more homesick than before.

“...Can we go back to the comic store?”

There was only one thing that did set my heart at ease, and that was the comic store.

We had one back home that I visited almost every day on the way back home.

Here, however, it was a little out of the way since my new home was close to the school.

The comic store was past the center of the island, northeast from the school.

But even still, I wanted to go there as much as possible.

I didn’t want to let go of my previous lifestyle, so even if it meant walking, I wanted to go.

The scribble… brother, seemed to let out a heavy sigh, but his expression told me he had expected as much.

“You want to go there again? Don’t you want to check the inside of the school?”

“No, I wanna go! School doesn’t even start until next week! Can we please go?”

I whined selfishly.

I knew the reason deep down why I would be stubborn on this topic, but I didn’t want to say it.

It was embarrassing.

My brother looked at me with a frown, but I already knew he was going to say yes from his thoughts.

He actually liked going for walks.

“...Ah, you smiled. You read my thoughts again didn’t you?”

Oops!

He was also surprisingly sharp, despite being into sports.

I sometimes forgot about that and let my guard down.

“...Well, let’s get going then.”

Brother sighed in defeat as he started making his way towards the streets.

I smiled triumphantly as opposed to this and quickly followed after him.

I turned around to look at the school one more time, then back to the ocean, crashing along the metal rim of the human made island.

It was built for some reason, separate from the main societies of the world.

What was that reason again?

………

Ah, that’s right!

Everyone here is-!

* * * * * *

(Bug)

Wh-what on earth do I do…?

“Come on, I’m going to leave you behind if you don’t hurry up.”

“A-ah, just wait a moment!”

We were cloaked, walking through the underground after going through a manhole.

Why were we here?

Hahaha, to go into a den of human hating mutants, of course!

…………………….

………….

…..

“U-uh, Birdy, I know I’ve asked this before, but are you absolutely sure-”

“Ugh, just stop. The more time we waste, the worse things will get for them, okay?”

“But-!”

Why me!?

Of course I know that Rucker said it needed to be me and Birdy, but come on!

That guy was sketchy, absolutely fishy!

“But?”

“...Nevermind.”

At Birdy’s raised eyebrows, I couldn’t say what I wanted to.

It wasn’t as though I hadn’t voiced my concerns to her before, but she just ignored me and pulled me along anyways.

As for leaving her, if I did that then there was no way she would forgive me.

Why would I care about what she thinks about me?

Because I like her!

Why!?

Fuck if I knew!

...This was the worst.

Sighing, I readjusted my grip on the flashlight as I examined my surroundings.

A long, flowing river of sewage and whatever else was moving to my right, dark green and blotchy.

To my left, a wall of discolored stone that started to arch above, leading all the way to the other side, where another small walkway could be seen.

The way it looked wasn’t my biggest concern, however, and neither was the rancid smell that wafted up from the disgusting fluid next to me.

No, what I was looking for was other people… Mutants, to be more specific.

If we ran into any of them, especially from down here, we were definitely screwed, you know!?

It’s only natural for me to be cautious, right?

...For that matter, I’ve been keeping track of every ladder we’ve come across leading up to another manhole.

The reason I haven’t been wasting all my energy, that Birdy seems so content to use walking towards certain doom, is so that I can use it running away.

If it gets dangerous, she can’t possibly blame me for running away, so even if I drag her along kicking and screaming, she’ll understand.

...It was a given I wouldn’t leave her, huh?

Escaping on my own is easy, and leaving her would probably make my escape easier, but I don’t want to leave her.

It's frustrating!

I looked at Birdy’s back, unable to see her long, flowing green hair.

But, even though I couldn’t see it clearly, the image is clear in my mind.

I can see her looking at me with… what is it?

Is it surprise?

Embarrassment?

She’s saying something under her breath and I can barely catch it.

“...Hey, watch where you’re walking!”

“Huh? A-ah!”

I was about to walk into the rancid water, as we approached a turn, and Birdy quickly grabbed my hand before I lost my balance, pulling me back into a stable stance.

“Th-than-”

“Get a grip! We’re going to the chosen’s base, remember? I’d expect you of all people to not make such a mistake.”

Birdy quickly reprimanded me before I could thank her, and I clammed up.

Just what was I thinking about before she snapped me out of it?

It seems like I was about to remember something important, but whatever it was, it’s gone.

Not only that, but now Birdy’s even more upset with me.

As I kept quiet, Birdy, not waiting for an explanation, moved onwards, practically pulling me by my hand.

She truly was single minded in going to the chosen’s base, so much so that it made me wonder just what was it that made her act so recklessly.

“...Hey Birdy?”

“What.”

“What was it that you remembered?”

Then, despite how fast she was walking, she came to a stop.

I was delayed in stopping, and I felt her hand tug at mine, having never let go, and I turned around to face her.

What I saw was not what I was expecting; she looked at me with surprise rather than anger.

“Eh? Is that why you zoned out?”

“Yeah.”

I lied hastily.

I may have became more uncertain with how I felt, but lying was second nature to me at least.

Birdy blinked for a moment, then asked me a strange question.

“Are you really that interested in me?”

“Eh!? W-well… A little.”

I had feelings for her, but I felt the question meant something different than whether or not I loved her.

Birdy looked up at the sewers ceiling, then seemed to come to a decision as she began walking again.

“Fine, I’ll tell you, but only while we walk.”

I nodded and looked down at the hand that wasn’t letting go.

As she began to speak, the warmth in her hand offset the cold tone her voice carried.

* * * * * *

(Birdy)

I guess I should start by saying I don’t remember too much about where we are.

All of my memories come from a different place, somewhere called Tokyo, Japan.

It was a very different place from here, crowded with people.

Tons and tons of people.

You would never see that many people here in the city, even if you gathered all of them up on a single street.

Before the “apocalypse”... No, it must have been long before… I was living with my father and twin sister, Ruri, in that place.

...Well, ‘lived with’ is a generous statement.

It was more like we were trapped there.

It’s such a strange thing to think I had forgotten that grimy, dimly-lit apartment, where a putrid scent wafted from the long-broken down ventilation- I don’t remember what it did, but I remembered it’s name- into my nose relentlessly.

But it wasn’t the state of that apartment that made it uncomfortable to live in, it was my father.

“Where the fuck is my beer!?”

That question was asked pretty much every day.

I know that it sounds cliched, but my father was a drinker.

...Hm? Why would I call it cliched?

...I don’t know, I just get the feeling that this sort of thing happens in stories like this all the time.

I wonder why?

Either way, when I eventually did get around to giving him his beer in his spot, watching a static filled t.v, more questions and verbal abuse bombarded me.

“Fucking finally! ...What’s that look for? I’ll have you know your mother gave me a beer without complaining a single time! And look at you, having the audacity to be the fucking spitting image of her… Do you enjoy taunting me!? Did you enjoy taking away her life with your god-forsaken sister, huh!?”

I figured out what had happened to our mother through these exchanges.

Me and Ruri were born on the same day our mother died.

Ever since, our father hated us, who he blamed for her death, and this wasn’t helped out by the fact that… apparently the older we grew, the more we looked like her.

He despised us with all of his heart.

I couldn’t imagine what our mother meant to him, nor how different our lives would have been if she had lived.

But that was just a thought, not something that can become a reality.

“Well?! Fucking answer me!”

“...I’m sorry.”

It was all I could say; anything else would make any beating, if he decided to do one, even worse.

Do you know… No, you couldn’t possibly know, I’m sorry for phrasing it an unfair way.

Then, try to imagine, trying to desperately convince your drunkard father that you had nothing to do with your mother's death, all the while crying because his constant yelling broke you down?

And then, because you were crying, he would get even angrier and beat you down, telling you to stop when you only got louder because of the pain?

It’s painful just to think about, right?

If it’s painful just thinking about it, then you can be a little bit closer to imagining how painful it is to actually experience it.

Then, you can understand a little bit of what I went through, even if you can’t accurately grasp the concept without going through it.

But after those experiences, I boiled down my interactions with our father to a routine to avoid getting beaten too badly.

Rule number one; never mention mother.

He can mention her all he wants, but you’re not allowed to.

Rule number two; don’t cry or flinch.

He’s like an overgrown bully, to put it very, very mildly; he’ll lose interest if you don’t react as much to what he’s doing.

And rule number three; always apologize.

It’s your fault mother’s dead, so you should apologize for it.

These were the rules I set for myself.

...Actually, I didn’t mind getting beaten up as much, as long as Ruri wasn’t the one suffering, but I didn’t want her to worry even more than she already does by showing up with more bruises.

Father, in this particular instance after following my rules, clicked his tongue at my behaviour.

“...Get out of my sight and make sure your sister comes out next time I call.”

I left him quickly and quietly, only planning to do one of those things.

One advantage to being a twin and having a drunk father in this situation was that he had a hard time telling us apart, even with the fact that I always came out with the same bruises.

I guess he just didn’t pay too close attention, as long as he was abusing one of us.

When I walked back into my room, Ruri looked from a small corner to the left, clutching a small stuffed animal-a rabbit I bought for her and snuck into the house, to be more specific- and got up to check on me right away.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you again?”

“I was only gone for a bit. He didn’t hurt me.”

I took off my clothes and changed into some lying in a pile in another corner on the floor.

The room itself only had the floor, our clothes and some sleeping bags, which didn’t do much to cushion the unforgiving, cold floor.

Ruri frowned and clutched the rabbit tighter.

“Rumi… just let me go out there once in a while-”

“I can’t do that. You cry too easily”

It wasn’t an insult, but a fact.

Ruri would cry in our room every now and again upon thinking about our situation, seemingly out of nowhere.

She didn’t have the ability to keep a strong face in front of father either, so if she ever went out to face him…

It would be worse than what I’m going through right now.

Early on, when I hadn’t set my rules, I kept crying until father beat me so badly that I lost consciousness.

That doesn’t happen anymore, but I don’t want Ruri to go through that.

“I… I don’t cry!”

Ruri still tried convincing me, but I just shook my head.

She originally let me do it because she was afraid of the pain, but as time passed, she felt more and more guilty whenever I put myself in danger for her.

That’s why it’s a little harder convincing her to let me do it.

“Ruri, if father doesn’t see bruises on you when you go out there, he’ll find out that he’s only been beating me up. When that happens, he’ll probably hurt me even more than before. You don’t want that, do you?”

I already knew that he was so blind with hatred that he wouldn’t notice a thing, but I needed to convince Ruri, so I lied.

She seemed to let that thought sink in for a moment, before her face soured.

“I… I don’t want that to happen.”

“Good! Then just leave everything up to your big sis, okay?”

I pet her head, and she gave me a frown.

“We’re the same age though…”

It was true.

We were both the same age of ten at the time.

“...Hey, Rumi… do you ever think dad will love us?”

“Ugh, not this again!”

I groaned at the sudden change in topic, but Ruri shakes her head.

“I’m being serious! ...No matter what he’s done, he’s still our father so maybe… one day… I would like it if he stopped hurting us all together and treated us with love, like a father should…”

I sighed.

This conversation of ‘what if’ came up quite a bit to the point where I heard the tiniest details of her dream.

She made sure that the topic didn’t bother me before continuing, but telling her it wasn’t was a poor choice, since she wouldn’t shut up about it now.

But at the same time… when I see her face light up at the idea of our father one day becoming a changed man and treating us how he should, it does warm my heart a bit.

Ruri is truly a kind girl who deserves love, and while I’m a bit disappointed that my love as her sister isn’t enough, she rarely expresses her selfishness like this, so I’m also grateful for seeing this new side of her.

“Doesn’t it sound nice?”

I nod my head dismissively.

“Of course it sounds nice, but-”

Before I could finish, our father yelled out, calling for another beer.

I hastily checked to see if my appearance was different before leaving, and Ruri pulled on my hand before I left.

“What?”

“...Don’t push yourself, okay?”

“I won’t and I’m not.”

With those words, I went back to face our father.

* * * * * *

My entire life’s purpose was to protect Ruri.

That’s what I honestly believe, because I had neither personal aspirations, or selfish desires.

If she wasn’t there I probably would have tried to kill myself and those around me.

I was a pretty messed up child in the head, either through circumstance or just because I’m that type of human.

Without any exposure to violent media, I came up with hundreds of ways to end my life; some involving taking my father and sister with me.

Just for a moment of blissful destruction, leaving nothing in it’s wake.

But every time I thought that way, I looked at Ruri and how sorrowful her expressions were.

I didn’t comprehend it.

I didn’t feel anything from the pain… if anything, it had grown to be a dull ache over time rather than a flurry of impacts with intent to harm.

But Ruri always cried whenever she was hit, always had a longing look towards me for some support…

I then realized a simple truth.

I wasn’t ‘normal’.

Now that I’m old enough and know more, I can confirm without a shadow of a doubt I’m not normal.

Even those thoughts of suicide and murder weren’t out of a fondness for death, or a desperate attempt to flee my harsh circumstances.

No, they came from deep within me, a darkness sown early on when I was a child.

In the beginning, when I was unaware of the ‘rules’ to prevent the pain, I also cried from the… ‘discomfort’ let’s say.

But in those blurry visions of black and red streaks across my vision, I saw my father’s face as he yelled.

He was smiling.

As he hit me, over and over, he smiled, enjoying everything he was doing to me.

And at one point during this, my cries slowly became laughter.

He was seeking this violent, self serving, destructive course of actions to feel.

...Feel what?

As his daughter, with no common sense of how things worked in the world, I felt the answer within my body, pounded into my through fists and shown to me with his smile.

Anger, sorrow, hatred, longing, joy, satisfaction, happiness, love…

Alive.

I laughed, realizing.

To me, this was the face of a man who was alive.

Unburdened by consequence, he lashed out at those closest to him in the most gratifying, mindless way.

This, as messed up as it was, was the time when I truly felt like he was my father, because, as his daughter, I finally understood him.

Such destructive, violent actions must be fun, if father was acting in such a way.

This was my ‘enlightenment’ and ‘education’ growing up.

But Ruri was not the same.

She, who looked so much like me, did not have this mindset.

“Rumi?”

She calls out to me as I recalled upon the memory fondly… whether or not others would be disturbed by that, I don’t care.

“Yes…?”

We were alone, walking down the busy streets of Tokyo.

It was a very rare occasion when we had permission to leave the house together, without father getting in too much of a fuss.

Our birthdays were on mother’s death day, after all.

Satisfaction from abuse or not, he didn’t want to see us at all during that day.

“Well… where are we going?”

Ruri trailed by me uncertainly, shying away from the passersby all around us.

I just smiled back at her.

“Just wait, we’re almost there.”

“You said that earlier…”

“I know, but it’s really, realllly close now!”

Ruri sighed at me, resigning herself as I dragged her along.

She didn’t like moving around too much and would often stay in bed all day if she had the chance.

The only adult figure in her life was our father, so she wasn’t too comfortable around other adults, thinking they might be just as horrible.

But we finally arrived to the location I was bringing her, an old antique shop.

She opened her mouth to ask something, but before she could, I had already pulled her inside, and a quiet, ‘Welcome’ was spoken by the old man at the register.

She seemed to clam up when spoken to, but I pulled her along to the counter.

“Heya, mister!”

I had been here, planning this for a while.

“Oh, it’s the young lady. And this is your sister?”

The old man’s eyes gleamed with a kindness that overwhelmed Ruri, who hid behind my back.

Of course, I could also feel her head rub along my back, peering back at the old man cautiously.

“Mhm. But more importantly, we’re turning eleven!”

“Oh… and?”

“...Mister, you promised.”

I gave him a glare, and he started laughing.

“I know, I’m only joking, miss.”

With another chuckle or two, the old man reaches out underneath the counter and pulls out a small box sealed with tape.

Ruri slowly comes out from behind me, her curiosity winning over her irrational fears, as the old man cuts the tape off with some scissors and gives me the package carefully.

“Be careful with that. They’re not too fragile, but they can still break.”

The old man gave his cautious words and I nodded appreciatively, opening the box for Ruri to see.

As she lays eyes on the contents, she gasps very audibly.

“It’s… pretty!”

Inside the box is two pendants of two doves forming a circle; one is white with black eyes and the other is black with white eyes.

Then I pull the white dove away from the black one, to Ruri’s amazement, and hand it to her.

“Here, this is for you.”

“Huh? Ah, um…”

Ruri looks at the old man uncertainly, wondering if it was really okay to have it, and the old man nodded as if to confirm it was okay.

With that encouragement, Ruri slowly put the pendant on with the small leather string it was already attached to.

Likewise, I put the black dove on and smiled at her.

“Here!”

I moved close to Ruri and put our two pendants together while we wore them, ignoring her reddening cheeks from embarrassment.

“R-rumi…”

“I know we don’t normally do gifts, but I wanted you to have this no matter what. And to tell you… That I’m really glad I have you in my life.”

“Uh, um, R-Rumi…!”

She frantically looked back and forth between me and the old man, her flustered expression only growing.

But I continued.

“I’m selfish, and if you weren’t there, I don’t think I would have ever felt this way about someone in my life. This feeling of wanting to protect someone no matter what… it’s sisterly love, right? But more than that...”

Yes, I was different from her.

Yes, I would have been fine with hurting everything and anything around me like my father in pursuit of being alive.

But, Ruri had something precious that I felt I couldn’t ever have.

Each and every time I came back from being beaten, she was there, asking if I was okay, helping me treat my wounds, hugging me…

I didn’t have any desire for such treatment, but her kindness was something pleasant that reached my heart.

And when I saw her in pain, I knew for certain.

Ruri wasn’t someone who would ever understand me.

But that’s exactly why she was so precious.

I felt a sense of wholeness whenever we were around, because-

“...You’re my light.”

And I’m your dark.

That’s why I had the black dove and you have the white dove.

This sense of negative feelings that I get such a rush indulging in my mind is the complete opposite of you.

I can tell how much it warms your heart to see others happy.

And, even though you’re a crybaby, your naive and positive, no matter how bad things get for you.

Much like you can never understand my values, I won’t ever understand yours.

But I feel like I’m meant to be with you.

Is it strange?

Is it weird?

I don’t know why I’m like this myself, but to have such a perfect opposite must be fate.

We were born twins for a reason, so I intend to follow through on that reason.

“Ahu… awawa…”

Meanwhile, Ruri’s face was so bright, you could have mistaken it for a tomato.

“R-R-Rumi, wh-what’s gotten into you?

“...Is it unlike me?”

“W-well you never tell me how you feel and often make excuses for why you… you know.”

Ruri trailed off, as we never spoke of our abuse at home.

It isn’t easy to say it out in public when you’re afraid, no matter how illogical it is.

I, of course, could say it, but Ruri was far too timid.

“But today’s special. Anyways, these necklaces symbolize that we’ll never be apart, no matter what!”

The old man looked at me with an open mouth, and I gave him a stern gaze as I grinned, to which he smiled awkwardly back.

The true meaning of the two necklaces were something different apparently, but not to me.

Together, the two doves looked like ying and yang, especially with their eyes being the others main color.

Light and darkness are never apart, no matter what, so that’s why these necklaces will always symbolize togetherness to me.

Ruri gave me a small smile, her embarrassment still apparent, but my heartfelt feelings seems to have gotten through to her.

“...Thank you… and happy birthday Rumi.”

“You’re welcome… and happy birthday Ruri.”

Darkness cannot exist without light, so I will protect you, my light, no matter what.

You don’t need to worry about anything else, because we’ll always be together forever…

* * * * * *

Where then, did my degrading sense of worthlessness come from?

It’s simple: I already said that my life’s purpose was to protect Ruri, so if I failed to do so then what meaning was there to my life?

Well, it happened on a Saturday, long after our eleventh birthday.

Father normally left the house on Saturdays and didn’t come back home until late at night.

During those times, I leave Ruri alone in the house.

She pestered me all the time when I first left, asking where I was going, but over time she stopped asking altogether.

It made me feel… bad, which is something I never feel around anyone else.

But the reason I always left on these days was so I could help out at that old antique shop I took my sister to.

There was the matter of my age when I started looking for work, and I knew it was next to impossible for someone like me to get a paying job, but I had to try.

I wanted to get Ruri something nice for our birthday for once, even if I didn’t know what that was at the time.

It was complete coincidence that the place I began working for money was where I got our birthday present.

“Welcome back.”

The old owner gave me a small smile upon seeing me enter the store.

When I first came here looking for work, he didn’t treat me seriously, but after pleading with him, he decided to give me a test; clean the entire store without breaking anything.

Originally, the store was completely covered in dust and dirt, as though it hadn’t been cleaned in a year.

I imagine he thought I would have given up then, or, at the very least, quit halfway through.

I didn’t finish cleaning the store before he closed it, and I started crying, thinking I had failed, but the old man looked at me with impressed, yet cautious eyes.

He probably knew that my circumstances weren’t normal, for me to work this hard without taking any breaks when I was this young, and decided to give me a break.

Now I cleaned the store on Saturdays for him and he gave me some money for the effort I put in.

“Is the bucket and cloth in the same place?”

“Yes, little worker. I wouldn’t dare put my back in danger by trying to pick it up.”

He gave himself a small chuckle while I gave him a forced smile.

Apparently he wanted to see me laugh, and tried too hard making jokes.

I wonder if I would have found that endearing if I were a normal child?

Anyways, I made my way to the back, filled the bucket with water, and started cleaning once again.

There really wasn’t anything different about this Saturday… so I thought.

I had worked well into the day, and we were reaching the closing times of the shop when it happened.

“...Hey, little worker?”

“Mm?”

“Your bruise is showing.”

I froze, mid-way through cleaning the table opposite to the counter and, after dropping the cloth, reached for the back of my neck..

“Ah…”

I touched the skin, rougher than normal.

My heart pounded, threatening to leap out of my chest at any moment as I held my breath.

A couple days ago, my rules were unable to stop father from physically abusing me that day, because he was in a fouler mood than usual, and there was still a mark left on my neck.

But how?

I never forgot to cover my bruises whenever I left the house, so what could have happened to make me forget this time?

I rack my brain, searching for the moment when I had forgotten to put on a turtleneck shirt.

That’s when it hit me.

Me and Ruri didn’t wear the pendants all the time, since we didn’t want father finding them, so we hid them as well as we could.

It just so happened that we placed them on a higher shelf on top of the turtleneck, so when I tried pulling it down to wear it, the pendants came tumbling down.

In my panicked state, I hurriedly broke their fall and made sure they were completely unscathed, completely forgetting about why I was pulling on the turtleneck in the first place.

Then… I put them back up there, wrapping them with the turtleneck and told Ruri about it so she wouldn’t make the same mistake…

…And I grabbed a normal t-shirt.

“...U-um, I fell… onto my sister’s doll! It really hurt and… yeah.”

“...Little worker, you’re a terrible liar.”

“It’s the truth!”

I turned to face him, desperate, but his gaze was as strong as steel and made me waver.

“Who did that to you?”

I gasped for breath.

He knew.

He knew that someone hit me.

I looked away hastily, wishing that this nightmare would be over.

“Little… No, Rumi, I’m not angry at you, and no one’s going to hurt you here. Won’t you please tell me?”

The old man had gotten up from his seat and kneeled where I was, getting on to my level.

I uneasily looked back into his faded brown eyes, my mind racing.

If… if I told him, what would that accomplish?

I wasn’t certain about what was legally required when it came to removing children from their parents at the time, so I had a hard time thinking about it.

But my priorities were Ruri and Ruri alone.

If I spoke up and the old man confronts my father and makes things worse, I feared he would take to beating us both at the same time.

He’s done it before, but these days he seemed content with having us take turns.

But… if I tell this old man… can he even help?

Is there a way to get Ruri out of there and into a better place?

“...What would happen if I told you?”

“You wouldn’t be in any trouble.”

“No, that’s not what I mean! I mean… if I told you who it was, would you be able to protect us from him?”

“...’Us’? ...Oh.”

The old man’s eyes seemed to flicker with anger, before returning to the sympathetic look he was giving me.

“I woul-”

A slam of the front door interrupted us and I turned my head, startled, to see who came in.

That surprise quickly turned into complete petrification.

“Oh Rumi, what did I tell you about running off on your own!”

Father looked down, his face the very definition of a doting father.

If there was one thing my father was good at other than abuse, it was acting.

He even regarded the store owner with an apologetic look.

“I’m so sorry about this, my girl always seems to run off whenever I’m at work…”

“Uh… it’s no problem.”

The old man was visibly surprised, looking at my father up and down.

My father looked well-kept, clean shaven, in a nice suit…

He didn’t look at all like your typical drunk scum of the earth.

But I didn’t understand how much of an impact looks could have on a person at the time, so the owners sudden change in attitude made me lose all faith in that moment.

My heart sank, and I felt like I was trapped.

“Oh no, did that boy from the park hit you again?”

Then my father regarded my bruise, kneeling down at me, with a caring voice.

“Boy… from the park?”

The owner seemed to be taking my father’s words seriously, despite his earlier suspicions.

But when he looked at me, all stiff and scared, he became suspicious once more.

“...Rumi, I’ve told you that you don’t have to hide it when he does something wrong. He can’t hurt you here, so you don’t have to be so afraid.”

My father continued his woven lies, kneeling down towards me as I slowly looked at him, tears forming at the edge of my eyes as he opened his arms.

“I know you’re mostly worried about your sister Ruri, but I promise that no harm will come to her as long as you’re in my care.”

“!!!”

The message was subtle, but painfully clear to me.

No harm will come to her as long as I’m in father’s care.

He didn’t say as long as ‘we’ were in his care.

I timidly moved over to my father’s arms, my tears flowing not because of relief, but because I didn’t want Ruri to suffer.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, father!”

I pleaded with him in my mind not to hurt Ruri as the store owners suspicions were completely dispelled with a few more clever lines from my father.

* * * * * *

My father drove us home, his eyes gleaming with irritation as I quietly stared out of the side window at the passing sights.

“...You’re quite the clever girl, aren’t you?”

Father gave me the unexpected praise as I looked in his direction cautiously.

“No bruises on her skin where there should be. You kept taking her place, didn’t you?”

“...Yes, father.”

I wasn’t sure how to act in this situation, since I’ve never spoken with father outside of home, so I decided to speak honestly.

“But to think you also got a job behind my back… I’m impressed.”

He chuckled to himself, much like a normal human being would have, and the scene was a bit surreal to me.

Talking casually like this made it actually feel like we were having a heart to heart, or at least the closest thing we've had to one.

“It’s especially impressive since that meant you were the only one with a job.”

“...Huh?”

“What do you mean, ‘huh’!?”

He yelled at me and I flinched, but continued speaking.

“You didn’t have a job?”

Father frowned and made a ‘tch’ with his mouth.

“...I got fired earlier today.”

“...Heh.”

I laughed despite the circumstances and father spat in my direction.

“Fuck off! You and your sister get food from that money I make, ungrateful brat!”

“I’ll be sure to hold back my vomit the next time you kick me in the stomach then.”

I could’ve sworn I saw a vein pop from that line.

I was trying to rile him up so that I was a more tempting target than Ruri, so it was a good thing to see.

“Fucking bitch… You really want to be beaten up that badly?”

I remained quiet, so as to not arouse suspicion to my intent, and my father, strangely enough, goes quiet as well.

I wondered why, but then I saw we had reached home.

As soon as he pulled into the driveway, he told me that I had better follow him, which I did.

Then, we enter the basement apartment and I fully brace myself for some kind of impact the moment the door locks, but my father just strolls past me.

“...Eh?”

“...Hurry up, I want to show you something.”

His voice was eager, stranger than normal.

It was as if he completely changed his demeanor as well, as his expression was less harsh than before.

I wondered why, so my curiosity to see what he wanted to show me grew.

I followed him around the corner into the living room and there I saw her.

“............Ragh…….r..u……..gh……”

The whimpers come from the corner and I don’t register what’s there right away, but as I took a step forward to get a good look, I saw my sister.

I almost didn’t recognize her at first from the swollen, black skin covering her parts of her bare body.

“Ah…. ahhhhh……”

My mouth opens and closes like a fish, unable to scream, yet able to moan in horror.

Meanwhile, my father is looking very pleased with himself as he sees my expression.

“Your sister was so worried about where you might have gone! But don’t worry, I was able to… ‘help’ her remember after a while. Of course, I couldn’t understand a single thing she was saying, so I needed to ‘help’ her speak up as well…”

“Why…?”

“Hm?”

My body trembled as Ruri looked at me with pleading eyes, but I couldn’t see anything but my father… or perhaps I refused to look at her.

“You don’t smell like alcohol today… so why?”

Father grinned widely and pulled out a small picture from his pocket in response, showing me a picture of woman who looked like Ruri grown up…

“Silly, silly Rumi. Daddy’s going to explain it one more time~”

His voice was so gentle as he stroked my head, it sent chills down my spine.

“I hate you both.”

He put the picture back into his pocket and continued his ‘loving’ tone as he spoke, but I was never more terrified of father than in that exact moment.

“I hate how you both look more and more like your mother with every year. I hate how I see your mother through each and every single one of both your actions. I hate how you both took her life away from me…”

And he stopped stroking my head and gently wiped my forming tears.

“...And I hate that you both exist. That is why I won’t be satisfied unless I make you both suffer.”

And he slowly, deliberately, patted me on the head, speaking the one line that shattered whatever happiness I had.

“Which is why I won’t ever hurt you again.”

“Wh- why not!?”

I yelled that out, afraid.

No, please god no, if I’m not being hurt, than that means that Ruri-!

“Because showing you my love is the one thing that will hurt you both the most.”

“...‘Both’?”

He was right that it would hurt me, because that meant he would keep his abuse exclusively to Ruri.

Even if he decided to beat us both up, there would still be the small comfort that I was going through exactly what she was going through.

But how did that hurt Ruri more than what he had already did to her?

I looked at Ruri.

“...Ah…”

Her eyes were locked on us, as wide open as mine, and a previous conversation ran through my head once I saw the feelings conveyed in her expression.

‘...I would like it if he stopped hurting us all together and treated us with love, like a father should...’

The envious eyes stared as I repeated those words in my mind.

“No!”

I feebly struck at my father’s hands, and tried to retreat, but he pulled me in for a hug, all the while I struggled.

“Ruri’s rather talkative when I hit her… I think she always wanted this attention you’re getting?”

“Let me go!”

No matter how hard I hit him, bit him, clawed at him, father didn’t change his attitude and kept treating me gently.

I knew then that no matter how abnormal I was, I wasn’t anywhere close to how abnormal father was.

He didn’t get joy from simply abusing us, he got it from making us suffer as much as possible.

The jealous gaze Ruri had as he held me hurt me more than anything he had ever done before, and I could do nothing to escape father’s hold.

“Please… just stop… you can hit me, throw me around, yell at me… just stop this…!”

I didn’t want Ruri to hate me.

I don’t even know if she could hear us talking from the far-away expression she held.

But seeing father hold me the way she always dreamed while she was left injured and neglected in the corner seemed to break something deep inside her.

I couldn’t take it!

Why did Ruri have to suffer…?

She’s not like me, she’s just a normal, kind girl!

I… I’m….

“I… I’m the one you should beat up, dad…”

“Hmm?”

Father gave me that unsettling, kind expression I was unused to as I continued.

“I’m the one who killed mother, not her! I took her life and made it my own, so you should abuse me, not Ruri!”

“Ohh~?”

Father’s grin seemed to widen a sickening length as he spoke in response.

“But you’re my precious daughter, are you not?”

Something also seemed to break inside of me at that point.

“No, I’m worthless! I’m not someone who deserves to be loved, because I’m not normal! I want you to hit me! If you love me, why don’t you hurt me too!?”

It was all just a bunch of lies I sprouted, unable to take this situation.

Meanwhile, Father was laughing, muttering something about how ‘this could be amusing too’.

“Then you’ll have to convince me, really really hard that it’s what you want. If you truly are that worthless, then you’ll spend your life trying to convince me to hit you, won’t you?”

Looking back on it, father seemed to see right through both me and Ruri, and manipulated us however he wanted.

All with the intent to make us suffer.

Suffer, and suffer until we drew our last breath.

That’s why when I spoke those next words, he didn’t seem like he could be any happier.

“Yes, father! I’ll convince you that I’m your worthless daughter, no matter what!”

* * * * * *

(Bug)

“Father was a clever man, but what he had in intelligence he lacked in compassion. I spent weeks upon weeks speaking those lies over and over, and at some point… they became the truth for me. He broke me down mentally, which didn’t help the fact that I wasn’t the most sane child to begin with… and under these conditions, I even began to fantasize the day when he would hurt me again. He was a truly awful- Are you okay?”

“I… think I’m going to throw up.”

I had listened intently to Birdy’s story as she went into explicit detail, and I gradually was unable to stomach anymore.

I mean… what in the actual fuck!?

What kind of sick fuck would torture their daughters that way!?

“Oh, then I guess I’ll leave the rest for later.”

She wasn’t done?!

...Now that I’m looking at her face, Birdy doesn’t seem to be fazed at all by recollecting what happened.

Come to think of it, didn’t she say that she remembered something good earlier?

“But… none of what you said-well, apart from the birthday pendants-was good!”

“Hm? Well of course not, I hadn’t reached that part yet.”

I was bewildered and nauseous.

I knew she had a really trying childhood, but for her to be so unaffected from recalling it so vividly…

“Are you… okay?”

I asked that with uncertainty, realizing that there was no way she could be, even if she said she was.

But she surprised me further with her response.

“Of course I’m not okay.”

“Huh?”

“Well, let’s see here, I don’t have a problem with killing people despite regaining some of my memories-actually, I think I can kill even more easily than I could before-, the mind games my father put me through actually makes me crave pain, with the context of protecting Ruri completely gone from my motive for wanting it, and I’ll most likely never be a normal person for the rest of my life… I think that’s everything? ...Mm, yup, that’s everything.”

Birdy’s monotone monologue was stated as a matter of factly, her voice remaining calm while leaving me stunned from the barrage of information.

Then, despite the fact that she wanted to get to the chosen’s base, she stopped in the middle of walking for once and looked down.

“A-ah, look, I’m sure it’ll be fin-”

“No, you idiot, that’s not it.”

Birdy sharply cut me off in my attempt to comfort her, and I noticed that her eyes were deep in thought.

“...Is it possible that I agreed to have my memories sealed to begin with?”

“Huh?”

“What’s with that look? Can’t you think without me explaining it?”

Uh… okay.

So Birdy forgot all of th- oh.

Yeah, I see where she’s going with this.

“If that’s the case, does everyone here have memories that they’d rather not remember, or am I overthinking it…? Either way, that’s enough wasting time. Ruri’s safety is more important right now.”

Then, just as sudden as when she stopped walking, Birdy started moving, pulling me along again.

She hadn’t let go of me once, although I’m sure that was simply because she didn’t want me to lag behind.

“...Uh, Birdy?”

“Hm?”

“Without going into too much detail, can you at least tell me the good thing you remembered?”

I didn’t want to hear anymore stories from her childhood.

The way she described it so vividly, as well as without any pain in her voice, freaked me out.

If I had to hear any more, I really would have thrown up.

But I was still curious about why she was in a good mood, if only for a moment, back at my place.

Looking at Birdy’s face as I asked my question, however, I saw a warm smile, the first I’d seen in awhile.

“I found the second purpose to my life.”

It was indeed vague, but I didn’t want to push for more details.

Besides, when I see her smile like that, I’d rather just leave it at that than hear her speak in a monotone again.

It was quite creepy, and made me a little disillusioned with my feelings for her.

* * * * * *

(Thomas)

Lucy returned in what felt like ages later, when the foul-mannered, blond man opened the door to our room… well, more like prison at this point.

“I’ll be back for you in the morning, purple. Don’t cause any trouble for me in the meantime or… well, miss sleeping beauty here might wake up with some black eyes!”

The man laughed uncontrollably, while I bit my lip.

I didn’t want to provoke him, but man did I ever want to punch him in the face!

Luckily, he didn’t seem interested in staying around for too long, so he closed the door shortly after he let Lucy in.

I was extremely happy to see her, because it looked like she was relatively unharmed.

“Lucy!”

I didn’t need to cover much ground to reach her, and I was so overcome with emotion that I hugged her.

“Wha-! Hey, hands off!”

Lucy pushed me away after a moment's hesitation and I just looked blankly at her.

She was surprised, but she wasn’t the only one.

I didn’t exactly know her that well, but it still felt like the right thing to do.

I mean, I was worried about her, after all.

“S-sorry.”

“...It’s okay. Thanks for worrying about me.”

Lucy pulled her cap as far down as possible, enough to hide her eyes, but not enough to hide the small blush that formed.

...Now that I think about it, Lucy was cute.

Combined with her sudden shyness, and shifting movements, I felt a sudden desire to protect her.

I wonder if this is what it would feel like to have a sister?

...A-anyways, that’s not important right now-!

“R-right! I remember now, Lucy!”

“...Remember what?”

“I know where we are, and why we’re here!”

Lucy stopped hiding behind her hat, and I saw her face visibly surprised.

“Really?”

“Really!”

“W-well, hurry up and tell me then!”

Lucy had taken a step forward, suddenly very forceful.

Then, her face gradually morphed into one of genuine shock as I explained.

“This isn’t just any city; we’re on a mechanically built city in the middle of the ocean. Not only that, but the purpose of this island was to isolate and research mutants.”

“...Wait…. But that means-!”

I finished the realization that Lucy started.

“There is no normals! There never were any normals here, because all of us are mutants!”