Transcriber: Katie D @KatieDiek
AUSTIN: I want it so bad.
KEITH: I really, really want to get to it so bad. Two is like, unequivocally worse than one.
AUSTIN: Mhmm.
KEITH: In just about [laughing] in just about every way. Actually, I'll take, I'll take it back.It's like there are a couple major quality of life changes.
AUSTIN: Following people to where they - where you need to go, is brilliant.
KEITH: It's huge.
AUSTIN: [laughing] It's huge!
KEITH: And they do it in such a way that you just sit the controller down, and let it watch Ryo follow whoever to the place. And it's like, you have, you have done the thing that this game needed without compromising on the Shenmue thing at all.
AUSTIN: Yep.
KEITH: And then, and then the thing of being able to, like, warp back to where you were the previous day, if you run out of time, and it warps you home at night?
AUSTIN: I didn't realize it did that. That's great. Yeah. Okay.
KEITH: Yeah, that's also huge, but it's just like, more boring and it's way more racist.
AUSTIN: Mhmm....
JANINE: Wait, what's the Shenmue news? I missed the Shenmue news.
AUSTIN: There's no news. It's just -
KEITH: Oh, no news. Just that, just that I have to edit Shenmue. We're just talking about it.
AUSTIN: I'm trying to find out what part Shenmue three was supposed to summer - or like, pick up in the Shenmue saga.
KEITH: But I believe that he has already talked about wanting to do more.
AUSTIN: Oh, he definitely has 100%.
KEITH: Like, since it's come out. It's been like, "and there's more on the way" and I assume that whatever... That was news to whoever is giving him money [laughing].
AUSTIN: Also, I just need you to know you, you undershot, how many how many Shenmue was there were supposed to be by eight.
KEITH: It is supposed to be 18?!
AUSTIN: 18 [laughing].
JANINE: Are there that many of anything?
AUSTIN: Final Fantasy.
KEITH: Yeah, Mario, Sonic...
JANINE: Not, not numbered Final Fantasies, though. There's that many like, Final Fantasy games, period, but we're assuming that he wasn't going to do like Shenmue tactics
AUSTIN: Oh! Give me Shenmue tactics!
KEITH: Yeah, I would love that.
JANINE: Imagine the world where we had Shenmue Eight, Shenmue Eight Two, Shenmue Eight Three, Shenmue Eight Four and then Shenmue Nine [laughing].
KEITH: Shenmue Eight Brotherhood.
JANINE: And then Shenmue Tactics.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Uh huh.
JANINE: Shenmue Online.
SYLVI: Shenmue Tactics sounds so good.
JANINE: Shenmue Type Zero
AUSTIN: Sorry, I'm wrong. It was not 18, it was 11. I got my internet - my - whatever I was looking at was wrong. Maybe I confused 18 years old 18 parts. But 11, 11 chapters
KEITH: And I bet I got 10, because, because at some point, he was like "10 more."
AUSTIN: Right.
KEITH: "I did Shenmue and now there are 10 more parts."
AUSTIN: Yes. Okay, but - but wait! no.
KEITH: It was supposed to be, until two came out and didn't sell well. Then...
AUSTIN: Now I'm very confused. Because here's what this says, Polygon dot com says "Shenmue, which launched in 2000. Let's consider the first chapter. The second chapter is delivered in a manga set between it and Shenmue Two."
KEITH: We've got to do a Let's Play of this manga.
AUSTIN: You have to. "Shenmue Two constitutes chapters three through five. So Shenmue Three is from six to some unknown point" it says. I don't know how to find out. I've typed like "how many parts are left in Shenmue?" And no one seems to know.
JACK: It was supposed to be very long, right?
AUSTIN: Yes.
KEITH: The is the idea that the world is keeping Yu Suzuki from making as many fucking Shenmue games as he wants.
AUSTIN: [laughs to himself] It's like, I have to read this quote from you, Suzuki. Wait. Where is it? You can read the entire letter below? Yeah, I want to read the entire letter. Okay. "To all the fans who've waited many years for Shenmue Three, and all the crowdfunding backers who've made this game possible. This project would not exist without your love, support and the connections we've made along the way with profound appreciation for all that you've done. I'm happy to finally present you Shenmue Three. During development, I expanded the scope [laughing] beyond what I had originally envisioned, [KEITH and JACK laugh] I'm happy we're able to include the distinct Shenmue charm through - the throughout the game. [KEITH laughs loudly] This new chapter strikes and even small, even a small resonance in your heart. For as long as there are those who wish to see Shenmue live on, I will never give up on my personal journey with the Shenmue story."
SYLVI: Fuck Yes.
JANINE: Oh, boy.
AUSTIN: "As with Shenmue Three, the Shenmue story is with you. I sincerely hope that together we can continue to spin the tale of Ryo and his adventure in Shenmue Four. This goes out to all" - Yeah, spoilers Ryo is still in Shenmue Four" God.
ART: Um, am I still really hot? Yeah, a little bit.
KEITH: No, no, you sound okay.
DRE: Yeah, you sound fine on the Discord.
ART: Yeah. Okay,
KEITH: You've got some, you've got some high end harmonic distortions that sound like a nice old radio broadcast to me.
[The group makes positive sounds about that description]
ART: Alright. There are no knobs on this, So I'm like just down to..
AUSTIN: Your digital gain?
ART: 2%, point 2 in Audacity, and kind of not close to it. This is a very weird microphone experience.
JACK: Art, you sound, you sound? You sound great.
AUSTIN: You do.
KEITH: I'm hearing the room a bit. I'm hearing the room a bit, but there's nothing we can do about that.
AUSTIN: That's a post problem. That'll be fine.
ALI: Yeah.
AUSTIN: It'll be good.
ART: Can you hear - you can't hear the dryer though, right?
KEITH: No, I can just hear the size of your room.
ART: Wow.
DRE: Huh? How big's the room?
[ALI laughs]
JACK: [overlapping]: 8x10
SYLVI: [overlapping]: Oh my god
KEITH: It's um, I can't do, I don't know how to estimate the square. It's bigger than by office. I can tell that.
AUSTIN: Gotcha.
KEITH: I think it's the size of - I think it's the size of my bedroom. Does that help?
AUSTIN: Yeah, totally. Now we all got it
JACK: Famously, Keith's bedroom size. Actually in the UK, we use Keith's kitchen sizes, so slightly different.
[ALI laughs]
KEITH: [laughs] Well, it's about half of the bedroom. I think. I have a long kitchen.
DRE: Okay, Mr. braggy.
[AUSTIN and JANINE laugh]
KEITH: Well, I don't have much counter space, and I have a weird sink and so I don't have anywhere for a dishwasher.
DRE: Hmm. Okay.
JACK: God, I was staying at a place with a dishwasher the other day. It's life changing to have a dishwasher.
AUSTIN: Yeah, it's such a good life.
DRE: Yeah.
JANINE: Like I don't - I could not without a dishwasher. I yeah, I could not.
DRE: Who needs new mics when you've got dishwashers?
[AUSTIN laughs]
JANINE: I know that. You can just get countertop ones that you just like, put it on a countertop but -
JACK: Because usually I'm the dishwasher. That's me.
AUSTIN: Right?
JANINE: Even a bad dishwasher is still a good dishwasher. You know, right?
KEITH: I actually just bought one of those countertop ones.
JACK: Oh, man, I should get one of these.
JANINE: How is it?
KEITH: Uh, you know, I don't really have a spot to put it because like I said, I don't really have much counter space. So it's been like, sitting on the floor. And I've gotten - you know, I need? I need like a pallet, like a dolly. I need to put out like a dolly -
DRE: An island, like a rolling island.
ALI: Ooh!
KEITH: Yeah.
JANINE: My - I'm gonna say a sad thing first. Don't everyone get sad? My grandmother died yesterday, yesterday. Like - yeah, it was yesterday. It was like, she'd been in hospice for a bit. But, like a thing that I remember. Really specifically about her house, back when she like lived in her house and not like assisted living and all that, was she had a full size dishwasher, but it was specifically on wheels and there was a hose. And every time she used it, to she had to wheel it from the door through - there was like a weird, she had a very 70s kitchens there was kind of like an island bar, curved countertop kind of thing? And she had to kind of thread the needle with the dishwasher into that area and then screw the hose onto the kitchen tap, and then run it so like, big Thanksgiving big Christmas dinner memory is like "okay, dinner's done. Now we have to wheel the dishwasher over and like hook it up." And then the dishwasher runs and everyone sits down and drinks tea.
JACK: God, dishwasher goes on a journey.
JANINE: Dishwasher goes on a journey.
AUSTIN: Yeah. A whole trip.
JANINE: I'm gonna be honest, if I was my dishwasher set up, I feel like I might hand wash more.
AUSTIN: Yeah, I would hand wash a lot.
JANINE: Like I'm right here at the sink with this plate anyways.
AUSTIN: Yeah, exactly.
KEITH: The thing with a small dishwasher is that you have to make a lot of decisions about what gets hand washed and what doesn't.
AUSTIN: Sure.
JANINE: Yeah.
KEITH: And what order because then you're like, "Okay, let me run the dishwasher." And then it's like, "Okay, well, I can't use the sink for two hours now. The sink is occupied washing dishes."
ALI: Oh, sure.
AUSTIN: Oh, that's a choice.
KEITH: It goes on the tap.
AUSTIN: I don't love that
KEITH: Yeah, cuz it goes on the tap.
DRE: Well, it runs that little hose, right?
KEITH: Right. So I already, I already have like a pitcher full of water to like, like, like a Brita filter thing. So it's not like, I can't get water. Like that's not a problem. But it is like sometimes weird to not have -
JANINE: [overlapping]: you know when people have those like bathroom taps in their kitchen where it's like they have two separate taps? They have a cold tap and a hot tap.
DRE: Oh, maybe.
KEITH: Oh, that makes sense.
DRE: I could also see that for like, because they do Portable Washing Machine things too. And I could see that.
JANINE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Right. Sure.That makes sense.
JACK: In the UK, older - We don't, we have combined taps but they're way less common. So like in my kitchen, there's a cold tap and a hot tap.
JANINE: Oh?
AUSTIN: Is that true in the bathroom also?
JACK: Yeah, it kind of sucks. I'm wary of saying that, like we don't have combined taps because I've definitely been in places that do but like the vast majority of sinks in the UK are -
JACK: I wonder if it's just like a weird culture thing where it's just like, "oh, that's how we've always done it. And that's how British plumbers have always done it."
JANINE: Is it like a construction thing?
KEITH: How do we get it to be warm?
[Time stamp: 10:00]
JACK: It fucking sucks, Keith.
JANINE: Oh man, that must suck.
KEITH: You can't get warm water, you can only get hot and cold water at the same time.
JANINE: You just get a really sharp jolt of hot -
JACK: You're supposed to like, you're supposed to, sure you're "supposed to fill the basin" but like what actually happens is exactly what you said, Keith, right? Which is that you're like, well, I don't want to wash my hands under cold water because that's bad
KEITH: [overlapping] Right? Can I guess?
JACK: Go on.
KEITH: So you - do you wash your hands under hot water until it's too hot? And then you cool it off under the cold water and then switch back?
JACK: Yup. So we go -
AUSTIN: And you're running both at the same time, also?
JACK: Well, yeah, pretty much.
JANINE: Also you have a dish beside your soap dish, you have a dish of ice cubes.
[AUSTIN and JACK laughing]
JACK: Of ice cubes, right? Yeah, absolutely. So I go "it's getting warm. It's too hot. Time for the cold. Back to the scalding." What were you gonna say Ali?
ALI: I have a suggestion.
JACK: Please. Please.
ALI: Okay, this is what you do. You put soap on both of your hands. You turn both faucets on. You put both of your hands under the water just a little bit to get them wet. And then you like rub them together. So like they touch each other.
[ALI and JACK laugh]
JACK: [overlapping]: And they like, balance them out?
ALI: [overlapping]: They equal out the temperature.
ALI: Yeah, you have like the distribution of temperature. Plus the lathering of the soap.
JANINE: What if you use one of those things for like that dispenses warmed shaving foam but you put hand soap in it?
DRE: Oh, this sounds luxurious.
JACK: That's all it means that like running a bath sucks because [laughs] you basically have to- I know we'll have British listeners who will just be listening to this and going like "yes, this is how you do it. You basically-"
KEITH: You run it until it's super super hot and then cool it down at the end.
JACK: And then you cool it down at the end, yeah.
ALI: I feel like I still do that -
AUSTIN: [exclaiming] You have showers. Right?
JANINE: I saw-
ALI: Yeah....
JACK: Yes, we have showers.
JANINE: - when I was little, I totally saw cartoons and like, I think cartoons and kids books. I saw that in a lot because there was like a - I remember there's like a PSA or something for kids about not scalding yourself in the bath in Canada?
AUSTIN: Sure.
JANINE: And it had a system like that, it was was like "don't leave the hot water tap running too long."
JACK: Right, yeah
JANINE: And I was like "What the fuck are you talking about?"
KEITH: [overlapping]: But here's the flipside.
AUSTIN: [overlapping]: Wait, wait, wait, you have showers? They have the technology. Unless your shower is also two different nozzles?
[The group laughs]
JACK: No, no.
JANINE: I wonder if this is like a weird plumbing thing? Like a weird- cause - this isn't okay. I this might be -
AUSTIN: If you had it in the shower, you can have it in the bath is all I'm saying?
JANINE: Sure. I'm just -
JACK: Sorry, go on, Janine
JANINE: I'm just gonna say, there's a thing that - this might be super wrong because I learned it in a book about murderers.
[The group laughs]
JACK: Yeah, uh huh. We have them here too.
JANINE: Isn't - wasn't the case that like in a lot of cities in England, in the row houses , or the ones that had like a shared courtyard, up until like the 60s? There were a lot of those has the didn't even have a bathroom inside of them. It was like you had a shared bathroom in the shared space?
JACK: I can believe that space. I'm not - you are speaking with more murderer authority here.
KEITH: Well, okay, I don't want to make this, I don't want to be like "America solves it. We have combined tabs" or probably the rest of the world besides just that one country.
JACK: Yeah.
KEITH: But the problem that we have, is that I can't get a bath hot enough. ever. [Group sounds of agreement] It doesn't go hot enough because there's always some cold water in there
JANINE: That's your water heater.
AUSTIN: [overlapping]: Yeah, you gotta turn that up -
JANINE: [overlapping]: Water heaters have a separate setting on them for like, how hot can the water get.
KEITH: [overlapping]: I have an electric, I have an electric thing I can go down I can just press the up button. But then it's too hot. Like for like regular daily activities. Like,
JANINE: I mean, that's hot water for you.
DRE: Yeah, it gives and it takes.
JACK: That is hot water for you. I do want to do two quick sort of pieces of irata for people listening which is: [laughs] we do have like combination taps I've encountered them in the UK, and like definitely people who have a shower/bath combination? You know where it's like a bathtub with a shower attached to it? Those baths have combination taps.
AUSTIN: Gotcha. Okay. Yes.
JACK: Because it, because it is Austin's thing of like "you have the technology." You know why not just use it there?
AUSTIN: The hose is already, three feet up.
JACK: You've deployed it in the - Yeah, exactly.
KEITH: So, Jack, are you saying that then there's people with a free standing bath and a shower in the same bathroom?
AUSTIN: That is just America. I've been in those bathrooms here.
JACK: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, "over here is my is my pool of water, and over here is my running water that pretends to be rain." [KEITH laughs] I can move between the two. One is set very, very hot and one is set very, very cold.
[AUSTIN and DRE laugh]
AUSTIN: To be clear, I've also run into the separate faucet thing here. It's just tends to be in very old buildings
JACK: Oh, yeah.
AUSTIN: Which supports the Janine old plumbing theory.
KEITH: Yeah, yeah. My grandparents house has separate faucets in the bathroom.
ART: Just everything in the UK is ancient. There's nothing new over there, right?
JACK: Absolutely nothing at all. You know,
ART: They didn't build anything from 1900 until the London Eye.
KEITH: Even the babies are old!
JACK: My microphone is just called microphone one. That's the brand name
[KEITH laughs]
ART: [overlapping]: "Coming up next, on Microphone One,
ART: [overlapping]: on the BBC we will have Jack de Quidt.
[The group laughs]
AUSTIN: Alright. We should do a podcast, we should Time.Is.
JACK: Let's do it.
JANINE: Gotta open that up.
ALI: Let's do it.
DRE: Alright, push these minis to the side.
JACK: I am going to - while Dre is photographing minis, I am going to be sitting on the other side of the room with a long headphone cable? So I will be here if people need to telephone Kalar or anything, but they'll just be this weird moment as I clatter towards them.
DRE: That's how you're keeping it.
JANINE: I don't know how I -
KEITH: Yeah, I will have the same thing happening.
JANINE: As you described that, I was - I the picture you painted in my mind was you for some reason, sitting in a beanbag chair [SYLVI laugh] with a record player on the floor? [JACK laughs]
JACK: That'd be the life.
DRE: That sounds luxurious.
KEITH: Phonograph with a wax cylinder.
JANINE: With a big spiral headphone cord?
JACK: Yeah. God. Alright. Okay, let's time.is
AUSTIN: Let's do 15 seconds.
[CLAP]
AUSTIN: Okay,
JANINE: No one read the quote today. It's a bummer.
AUSTIN: It's a bummer and I'm closing it. All right.
[Musical interlude 16:59]
JACK: Hi! Are you ready for some more bizarre earthquake? [long pause] Media's new great crossover. Deadpool is here for some reason. [DRE laughs] Hi, Ali.
KEITH: Hello. Oh, Ali, can't hear you.
DRE: Uh Oh, Ali.
JACK: I'm very excited to get my new mic set up. [responding to Ali, who the listener can't hear] Hi, yeah.
KEITH: You sound muffled for a sec. But I think that was just Discord. [responding to Ali, who the listener can't hear] Hmm... Yep. Same. Yeah.
JACK: Oh, sweet. I should do that. I haven't upgraded yet, because everything in this room has been... in the wrong place.
KEITH: You got your stuff already?
JACK: Oh, yeah. I got it.
KEITH: Oh, wow. That was fast.
JACK: I got it from a UK retailer. Or, Ali bought it for me from a UK retailer. I'm still on the old Xenyx mixer. And yeah, that thing runs warm. It spooks me out a little
KEITH: It does - it's it's analog in there.
JACK: As I think, as a wise man once said about the Nintendo Switch. There's a little computer in there.
KEITH: There is a little computer in there.
JACK: Have you smelled the - have you smelled the inside of your Switch lately?
KEITH: [laughing] Yeah. So like every couple months. Every couple of months I smell it. Yeah.
JACK: It's good, though. Every day.
KEITH: Ali, Jack is remembering an old tweet of mine from when the Switch was new. Where -
JACK: Keith, repeatedly - Do you know how sometimes Keith does the Lord's work by reminding us of the famous meme about the man and all his clocks? [KEITH laughs] So we're -
KEITH: Hardly need a reminder, it's everywhere.
JACK: I see it all the time. I started a Mandalorian themed version of it the other day. Uh huh. It was the Mandalorian saying, "Why do I have all these clocks?"
KEITH: [laughing] Is that true?
JACK: [laughing] No Keith.
KEITH: Okay, it could have been true! Every once in a while someone sends me a four o'clock meme.
JACK: What is he actually saying?
KEITH: He says "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore."
JACK: In the meme?
KEITH: Oh, no. In the movie Oh, I thought you were actually talking about the actual movie
JACK: No, I know what he says
KEITH: Okay. No, he says "What about my four clocks?"
JACK: Right. Yes. Anyway, [KEITH laughs] Keith repeatedly reminded us, I think for public - for public safety and enjoyment - that you should smell the little vents on the top of your Switch every so often because there's a little computer in there. [short pause, JACK sounds farther from the mic] and its true...
KEITH: There's a computer in that little baby, I believe is the, yeah
JACK: But yeah, the carpet in here has been cleaned. My parents had been wanting to clean the carpet in this room with one of those fancy steam cleaners that you have to rent, forever. And then one day they just decided to, and so everything in the room took a journey.
[Time Stamp: 20:00]
KEITH: I know that feeling, though when you want to do something for like ever, and you finally do it and you're like, "wow, I'm really on top of it,"
JACK: [laughing] I'm really on top of it...
KEITH: [laughing] But actually, here's what - I have a squeaky bed, I brought WD40 up and put it just outside my bedroom for about three months. [JACK laughs] And this week, I
JACK: [overlapping]: Were you waiting for it to journey in itself?
KEITH: [overlapping]: finally decided to get it. [laughing] So I was like, "I'll do this later." I was like, "I'm gonna do this now" and then somewhere between getting the WD40 and bringing it upstairs, I was like, "now means later today." And then that eventually meant three months from now. But I finally did it. And I was like, "Yes, I got it done." Thank you. I gotta do it again, though.
JACK: Should we do a clap? Oh, sorry.
KEITH: Yeah, let's do clap.
ALI: There we go. All right. Time.Is?
KEITH: Yeah.
ALI: Do it at 40?
JACK: Let's do it.
KEITH: Oh, fuck. I think I have it open. Yeah, okay. I might have been slightly early. I think we should do one more time?
ALI: Yeah. Okay. Let's do 5? That's so long, why did I - I'm sorry.
KEITH: [laughing] Better much better.
ALI: Perfect.
KEITH: Yeah. I had Time.is open. But then I had Audacity on top of it, and then I couldn't find it my Taskbar - it was on the wrong monitor.
JACK: It had hidden itself?
[Musical interlude 22:01]
JACK: Oh, it's cold here.
AUSTIN: It is hot here. I will trade you some of my heat for some of your cold.
JACK: [laughing] Yeah, send it, send it down the -
AUSTIN: I'll send it Post.
JACK: Oh, yeah. I was saying to Ali that those landscapes on Nobu in Attack of the Clones are so beautiful and are so wasted on like,
AUSTIN: Utterly wasted
JACK: the world's worst romance.
AUSTIN: [laughing in pain] It's so bad.
JACK: I just, I want to be in that space, ideally, as like Agent 47. Or even you know, just like,
AUSTIN: Did you listen to the episode yet and learn the thing that we learned?
JACK: I'm like 20 minutes in? I don't think I've learned anything about that planet?
AUSTIN: What if I told you that - let me just find it, it's gonna blow your mind. [typing & reading aloud] deleted scenes Attack of the Clones.
JACK: I just had that the Geonosis Factory Chase was basically like, faked, was like added after to -
AUSTIN: 100% faked. Yeah. Yeah. Which is very funny. and sad
JACK: The world's slowest chase.
AUSTIN: It's miserable. There's nothing good at it. Or in it. [looking at a link] Does it start here? Yeah, here we go. This is wild to me. Where do you - Hey, don't don't start this. Where do you think, where do you think their estate is?
JACK: Whose estate?
AUSTIN: The Padme family Estate. The Estate that they go to?
JACK: I think it's a Naboo. I think it's like outside the city.
AUSTIN: Where is it? Okay, what's around it?
JACK: Lakes?
AUSTIN: Lakes. Okay, good. Who's there?
JACK: I think probably just noble families and neighboring houses and in their house just Padme and Anakin and a retinue.
AUSTIN: Okay, hit play.
JACK: Hello, wait - hang on a second?
AUSTIN: Uh huh.
JACK: What's going on here? Why are we in like Cyrodiil?
AUSTIN: Uh huh. This is where that was. And also -
JACK: There's like, fucking children here?
AUSTIN: Yeah, uh huh. Those are like her little sisters.
JACK: Oh my god. [short pause] This is very weird.
AUSTIN: Her whole family's there. Her whole family's there the whole time! They have this.
JACK: Who's this and - is that her mum?
AUSTIN: That's her mother! Or mother is there, I don't know who you're seeing on the screen yet but -
JACK: I will sit down. I suppose this would like, in theory, play as a contrast to like going to the Tatooine family.
AUSTIN: Yes, though, the thing is, her dad is like, a regular dude. He's like a blue collar guy. Which is an interesting thing.
JACK: That's so weird.
AUSTIN: It's so weird that it's just like, next to the park. Basically.
JACK: Yeah. Yeah. Rather than what I'd been picturing right, which was some sort of like, like, remember?
AUSTIN: Like Pemberly?
JACK: Yeah. Yeah. Oh god. Yeah, like looking out the window and seeing the Jedi on the lawn.
AUSTIN: Right? Like literally walking into the backyard that isn't perfectly manicured.
JACK: Uh, they have these paintings.
AUSTIN: I know.
JACK: So weird. I didn't know that... I mean, I guess I knew that Padme and, and Anakin were gonna, like, get together and everything. But I'd sort of forgotten it, to the extent where when she says, just as they're about to go to die in the completely unnecessary thing. When she says, "I've been dying a little every day ever since you came into my life." There was this moment when I thought, "oh my god, this is the turn." She's going to say
AUSTIN: This is brilliant. Uh huh.
JACK: "You are a destructive exploitative force in my life. And I've been trying to make myself love you, but I can't." Like, you know, "I once felt for you as a friend. But I have been feeling that erode further and further." And like, that be like this weird motivator in the fight? Because then you'd still have to have a fight where everybody's trying to rescue each other with that knowledge hanging over their head.
AUSTIN: Oh, that's great. I love that. Because no one wants to get eaten by the big monsters in the arena.
JACK: I mean, even on some level like he's not gone full Darkside yet, like? I could I could see that scene still be like, "Wow, she's just broken my heart and I'm a shitty brat. But like, I'm not gonna let her get eaten by." But she just says I love you! And like, I was genuinely bowled over even though if you had asked me like, "are they gonna get married?" or whatever? I'd say like, "Yeah, probably" because I was certain that- like you talked about in the podcast that like Natalie Portman is playing that romance. As her own-
AUSTIN: Yeah.
JACK: As like, she knows what she's doing
AUSTIN: Just you can hear her, Yes. 100% Yes.
JACK: So I was convinced she was going to say, "I think I hate you." And that be this like, Oh,
AUSTIN: I would have loved that. That would be great.
JACK: But instead, what begins as a weird public execution then just turns into a war?
[ALI laughs]
AUSTIN: Into three fight scenes in a row that are increasingly increase in scale. [ALI laughs] Yeah.
JACK: I love the Joda - Joda? [ALI and JACK laugh] I love the Yoda -
AUSTIN: Joda, it's Joda.
JANINE: My favorite Star Wars character is Baby Joda, thank you.
[The group laughs]
JACK: Baby Joda... Yoda says, "I'm going to go to Kamino to check out that, like to investigate what's going on with that Clone Army." And it's clear that he like arrived and they went, "Oh. This looks sick. Take it I will" [ALI laughs] Yeah. Yeah, he just took delivery.
ALI: ...Yeah.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Where do I sign?
ALI: He just goes to pick them up! Like it’s so redic - Yeah. He just arrives at them.
AUSTIN: We can't do this, Ali.
ALI: I know.
AUSTIN: We have to do this again in a few days.
ALI: I've already said this on the podcast. Like it's ridiculous. But yeah, I haven't watched it yet.
AUSTIN: Me neither
JACK: I'm really excited to. It looks like garbage, but it's not like I haven't already been watching eight hours of garbage.
AUSTIN: It looks so much better though than Attack of the Clones. In some ways. I'm excited. Like because you think like clones, graphical effects are just so ill considered because they're just doing things you cannot do yet. [ALI laughs] This at least looks like a PS2 game - and that's fine. I get that.
JACK: Sure. Uh huh.
AUSTIN: Honestly, it looks better than a PS2 game, that's rude of me. But you know what I mean? Anyway, we're all back it sounds like?
ALI: Hello
JANINE: Mhmm.
[Musical outro to end of episode]