Clapcast 23: Beat The Heat (July 2019)

Transcribed by Meko

JACK: Reminds me of Austin’s going to the steakhouse in the snow.

AUSTIN: Oh, I love it. Best feeling [Jack laughs].

KEITH: When was this?

AUSTIN: I wish it would snow. Also, Jack, I love you, but it was not a steakhouse. It was an Uno’s.

JACK: No, it was—

AUSTIN: It was an Uno’s Pizzeria & Grill where I got a steak [Keith cackles] at 3 pm in a blizzard.

KEITH: Now, hold on. How much worse could an Uno’s steak be than an Outback steak?

AUSTIN: It’s worse. Oh, it’s way—

JACK: No—It’s worse?

AUSTIN: It’s not bad. It’s still okay.

JACK: If you’re eating a steak in a place…

AUSTIN: Mm-hm?

JACK: It’s a steakhouse.

AUSTIN: That’s—okay, you got me there.

KEITH: That’s why every other week, my house is a steakhouse.

DRE: Mhm.

AUSTIN: Right. That’s the slogan.

KEITH: [bursts into laughter] Right.

AUSTIN: “Every other week, my house is a steakhouse.” Let’s time.is?

JACK: Yeah, let’s do it.

AUSTIN: Okay. Katie says it’s way worse. Thank you, Katie. You want to do top of the minute?

KEITH: Yeah.

[claps]

AUSTIN: Okay. Okay. Let me get these notes up. Boop.

KEITH: Yeah, I’m just gonna have to trust that it’s way worse, ‘cause there’s no way that I’ll ever order a steak at—

AUSTIN: At an Uno’s Pizzeria & Grill?

KEITH: [laughing] At an Uno’s.

AUSTIN: Yeah, no, I get you. That’s fair. That’s fair.

DRE: What’s the worse place you’d order a steak at, Keith?

KEITH: I dunno, maybe Outback. Listen, I like Outback, but I do not like their steak.

AUSTIN: I’ve gotten steak at like a diner before, which is not—

KEITH: I like those steaks though.

AUSTIN: Huh.

KEITH: Like it’s just a big, flatiron steak.

AUSTIN: Yeah, uh-huh. That’s exactly it. Like, “I dunno, we’ve got this beef, we’ll put this on the grill.”

KEITH: There’s something about an Outback steak that looks like it’s—it just feels like I’m eating a picture of a steak.

AUSTIN: Mm-hm.

KEITH: But a diner, it’s like got—it’s overcooked and it’s thin—

AUSTIN: Okay, but what if you—

KEITH: —but it’s got like the steak taste.

AUSTIN: But what if you were eating a picture of the steak and that picture was in a pizza—was in a big-box pizzeria chain?

KEITH: Yeah [laughing], I would—I guess then I would be like, “Man, I wish this was Outback.”

DRE: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Yeah, these cameras were built for pizza, not for steak [laughs].

KEITH: Yeah [laughs]. It doesn’t even look like a steak.

AUSTIN: Yeah. Uh-huh.

KEITH: The lighting’s all wrong. You’ve got—if it’s not the Golden Hour, you can’t photograph a steak.

AUSTIN: Impossible. Alright, are we ready to go?

[musical interlude, 2:30]

AUSTIN: Are you here?

ART: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Okay.

ART: I just haven’t said anything since you came.

AUSTIN: Is this like a beef situation? Like, what’s going on?

ART: Yeah, you should know what you did. [Dre laughs] How many hit points am I supposed to go?

AUSTIN: Did you get that pan, by the way? Did you get that pan back?

ART: No, I didn’t.

AUSTIN: Wait, what? Where is it?

ART: He left with some friends of his in the Valley, and I’m not gonna like, make an extra trip. I’m gonna wait until the next time I’m in the Valley.

AUSTIN: Fuckin’—

ART: It’s worth noting he didn’t tell me how to contact these people, but—

AUSTIN: Oh my God. Are you fucking kidding me?

ART: I’m not. It’s a little vexing, but I’m just gonna ride it out.

AUSTIN: You need a pan!

ART: Not right now I don’t.

AUSTIN: Art—

DRE: Like a cooking pan?

AUSTIN: Yeah.

ART: Mm-hm.

AUSTIN: We borrowed a cooking pan from Art because Art’s a good friend [wrapper rustling] and [bleep] insisted that he would be able to get it back to Art. Before—

JANINE: He was in LA for an extra fucking how long?

AUSTIN: Mm-hm. Three days.

ART: It’s really that I was—

AUSTIN: Mm-hm.

ART: —less than one mile from the house and should have just been a decamping from the house maneuver.

AUSTIN: Yes. Yep.

ART: Cause I agree, once you’re clear across town it is inconvenient.

AUSTIN: Very. But that was why he should have done it when he said he was gonna do it.

ART: I agree. How many hit points does a person have?

AUSTIN: So, it depends on their class [Dre chuckles] and their Constitution score.

ART: I just upped my Constitution score, should my hit points go up?

AUSTIN: Yes, by one, yeah.

[beeping noise in the background]

DRE: Ooh.

JANINE: Did someone leave their droid on?

AUSTIN: There is a—sounds like there’s a droid.

ART: Jessica got a R2D2 cup from Disney Star Wars.

AUSTIN: [consideringly] Oh.

ART: And it makes a noise when you drink through it and she’s leaving the room and she took a drink [amused] and it made that noise [Dre chuckles]. And I want you to know she’s very embarrassed.

JANINE: That seems like—

AUSTIN: Aw.

DRE: That’s a good cup.

JANINE: How do you wash that? That seems—

AUSTIN: Good question.

ART: I think you just—I think the lid makes the noise, so you wash the cup and the straw.

AUSTIN: Your HP, Art, should be ten plus your total Constitution.

ART: Great, so I’m at twenty-five.

AUSTIN: That sounds right.

ART: ‘Cause that was my level up stat bonus.

AUSTIN: Cool.

ART: I’ve given up on being smarter or wiser.

AUSTIN: You know, now is the time to just lean in to who you are.

ART: Uh-huh.

AUSTIN: But you’re one away from Wisdom going up. Weren’t you?

ART: Yeah, but none of my moves need Wisdom anymore.

AUSTIN: Okay.

ART: I don’t even know what Wisdom does.

AUSTIN: It’s important, still, but that’s okay.

ART: Mm.

DRE: It lets you Discern Realities good.

AUSTIN: It does.

JANINE: It lets you put tomato in salad.

ART: Mm.

AUSTIN: That too.

JANINE: You can’t—you can’t do that—

DRE: Gotta get those amino acids. That’s in tomatoes, right?

AUSTIN: Probably.

JANINE: Mm.

ART: Aren’t amino acids proteins?

DRE: Yeah, you’re right. Tomatoes have something else that’s really good for you.

ALI: Antioxidants.

JANINE: Yeah, antioxidants sounds like the thing.

DRE: Uhh—

ART: The real galaxy brain thing I’ve learned in my adult life is that sometimes a salad can just be tomatoes and cucumbers.

ALI: Mmm.

JANINE: Yeah!

AUSTIN: That’s delicious.

ART: Cut out all that filler lettuce.

DRE: Ah, lycopene!

AUSTIN: I get you. But I like lettuce.

ALI: I’ve been literally for like, I think it was three meals this week [laughing], was a bunch of romaine chopped up—

DRE: Oh.

ALI: —a piece of toast, chopped up, and Caesar salad—and Caesar dressing. And I’m like, “oh this is Caesar salad,” and I’m lying, but it is.

DRE: Yep.

AUSTIN: Mm-hm.

JANINE: I have a crouton recipe. Croutons are the easiest.

DRE: Mm-hm.

ALI: Yeah, I put a bunch of garlic salt on toast, and then I toast it and cut it up.

DRE: I mean, yeah.

ALI: It owns.

DRE: Yeah, Caesar salad’s fucking good.

ALI: Yeah.

ART: I started liking them with anchovies, and then you realize you can’t get anywhere.

DRE Hell yeah.

ALI: Oh, yeah.

JANINE: I feel like there’s anchovy in the dressing.

ART: Not all the time.

JANINE: Usually.

ALI: I think it’s my microphone, but I’m, like, loud.

AUSTIN: I think you sound okay. Yeah, I had to turn down a little bit, but that’s okay.

JANINE: Mm-hm.

ART: We’re healed and not conditioned anymore, right?

AUSTIN: Except for Ali!

ALI: Mm-hm.

ART: Mm.

AUSTIN: Also—depends on how long—we should—

ART: Alright, I’ll put all my stuff back.

AUSTIN: How many did you have?

ART: I had two conditions and I had six hit points [laughs]. Unless—does my new—does my new hit point—do I get that one?

AUSTIN: Sure.

ART: Alright, so I’m at seven.

AUSTIN: [reading] “When you do nothing but rest in comfort and safety, after a day of rest you recover all your HP. After three days of rest, you remove one debility of your choice.”

ART: Oh, so we have to wait six days?

AUSTIN: So the question is like—Yeah, to clear a debility is like that. And Ali, Hella’s in a different situation altogether [chuckles], so.

ALI: Mm.

AUSTIN: As we know. Um, we should time.is.

ART: Oh, right.

AUSTIN: I guess.

ART: Yeah.

DRE: Oh yeah. That website.

ART: I don’t need that anymore. Or that anymore.

DRE: [quietly] Get rid of Twitter. Get rid of Amazon.

AUSTIN: Oh man, if—oh both of those!  Give me another! Get rid of something else!

DRE: I don’t have any other tabs open besides Roll20 and time.is.

AUSTIN: No, just whatever. More shit that we’re getting rid of.

DRE: Oh! Facebook.

ALI: Ooh.

DRE: Gone.

ALI: Get out of here.

DRE: Google Fiber.

ALI: Get out of here.

AUSTIN: Yeah, awesome. Bye.

DRE: I still have very specific beef with Google Fiber for ruining my town.

ALI: I bet!

AUSTIN: They like—

ALI: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Yeah, that fucking sucked. That old bullshit.

DRE: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Alright, are we good for twenty seconds?

ALI: Mm.

[claps]

AUSTIN: Sounded great to me, honestly [Ali laughs]. Really good, to me. I don’t care if—I don’t care if you’re gonna put this out and be like, “It sounds bad,” but that one felt in my heart good.

ALI: I think we’re gonna need a quick clap, I think we need to clap within three seconds once we declare—

AUSTIN: Yeah. You don’t get yourself exactly.

ALI: Right.

AUSTIN: Exactly, exactly.

ALI: Okay.

AUSTIN: Um—

ART: I think people are psyching themselves out on the claps.

ALI: Mm-hm, mm-hm.

DRE: Mm-hm.

AUSTIN: Yeah, definitely. A hundred percent.

[musical interlude, 8:44]

NICK: Yeah, I hope this guy isn’t gonna be a problem. I mean the cat, not Matt.

KEITH: No, probably not.

NICK: He can get very vocal though.

KEITH: Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be fine.

NICK: Especially when Mama’s not paying attention to him.

KEITH: There’s several noisy cats already, so.

NICK: Okay.

AUSTIN: Alright, I’m back.

KEITH: Hello.

NICK: Hello.

AUSTIN: Hi. Is Jack still out?

KEITH: Yes, and so is Sylvia^[1].

AUSTIN: Okay.

NICK: I started an Audacity recording.

AUSTIN: Perfect.

NICK: I don’t know if we talked about setup. Okay [laughs]

AUSTIN: We didn’t, but it’s an Audacity recording. It’s the same as it ever was on that side.

NICK: Right. I won’t have—I mean—should we do...do a clap?

AUSTIN: Yes, we should do a clap once—let’s do a big, unified clap once Sylvia and Jack are back. I mean, I guess it doesn’t really matter as long as two of us do it but my guess is this will be a new file—like, my guess is that Ali will cut around right this moment and so having everybody clap isn’t a bad idea.

KEITH: Yeah, we’ll do—we’ll get—I’ll get a time.is set up in here.

AUSTIN: Mm-hm.

NICK: How is—how does this Craig bot work out?

AUSTIN: It’s good for a backup, it’s like our secondary backup.

NICK: Okay.

AUSTIN: I guess it’s our primary backup now. I have a secondary backup that I’m running on my side that I just realized I actually was running poorly today because I had myself muted on it [laughs].

NICK: Oops.

AUSTIN: I do like an OBS backup for me—

NICK: Oh yeah.

AUSTIN: But Craig does okay. There was a moment when we thought that Craig might be, like, the best.

NICK: Mm.

AUSTIN: Because there’s a plugin that lets it capture local audio instead of Discord audio.

NICK: Oh, that’s cool.

AUSTIN: For everybody.

NICK: Yeah.

AUSTIN: But it’s just not reliable enough. It got weird.

NICK: Oh, that’s too bad.

AUSTIN: Sylvia, if you’re back we’re not hearing you. So I just wanted to say that. My guess is that you know you’re muted and that you’re not actually back yet, but I’m saying it just in case you’re not. Okay.

KEITH: They’re getting a glass of water.

AUSTIN: I think that’s a good thing to have.

JACK: I’ve also got a glass of water.

AUSTIN: Also good.

KEITH: I’ve got a big water jug in here. How, um—Does Fantasmo have a character sheet to work from?

AUSTIN: Oh yeah. Oh yeah, we’re prepped.

KEITH: It’s obvious, you know, hidden. It’s not in the characters list.

AUSTIN: Oh yeah, I did not make it visible.

JACK: Keith, you’re dropping in and out in a big way.

AUSTIN: You are.

KEITH: Really? That’s bizarre. I mean, I’ve got a really good connection. Maybe I’ll just restart Discord real quick.

AUSTIN: Do a disconnect/reconnect?

KEITH: Yeah, I’m gonna restart Discord entirely.

AUSTIN: Sounds good.

SYLVIA: I’m back, by the way.

AUSTIN: Welcome back.

JACK: Oh, hi!

SYLVIA: Hello.

AUSTIN: Gotta wait for Keith to come back and then we can—

JACK: God, I hope Fantasmo’s fucking yoked.

[laughter]

AUSTIN: Yooo, let me tell you about Fantasmo. Let me tell you about your boy. Your boy don’t fuck around.

SYLVIA: It’s the creatine powder [Austin laughs].

AUSTIN: It’s very fun to look at Fantasmo’s character sheet because of the stuff I just let Arrell have that Ephrim—sorry, Fantasmo—literally also has. Also like—

JACK: Oh God, yes, of course. Only the two greatest wizards ever to have lived in Hieron. Secretly the same wizard [Nick chuckles]

AUSTIN: Have Ethereal Tether: [reading] “When you have time with a willing or helpless subject, you can craft an ethereal tether with them. You perceive what they perceive and can discern realities about someone tethered to you or their surroundings, no matter the distance. Someone willingly tethered to you can communicate with you over the tether as if you were in the room with them.” For instance, for instance, if we ever wanted what a conduit is, this is where it starts. It starts with Ethereal Tether.

JACK: Is...Barbarous—what’s the dog called?

AUSTIN: Barbello.

JACK: Barbello. Is he ethereal?

AUSTIN: He’s a Blink Dog.

JACK: Oh, he’s a Blink Dog.

AUSTIN: He’s a Blink Dog.

JACK: Does he not have an adjective attached to him?

AUSTIN: Blink...ed... Blink Dog.

KEITH: Same.

AUSTIN: Blink Dogs are “groups, small, magical, organized.” [laughs] Special qualities: illusion.

JACK: Mm-hm. That’s an illusory dog right there.

AUSTIN: Keith, talk a little bit.

KEITH: Hey, I should be good. Before it was very—on my voice-connected thing, it was in the red.

AUSTIN: Okay.

KEITH: Oh, it just went down again.

AUSTIN: It did, it did do that.

KEITH: That’s so weird.

AUSTIN: It did do that, in fact.

KEITH: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Let’s just keep going. We deal with this with Art, we can deal with it with you [chuckles].

KEITH: Okay.

AUSTIN: As long as your local file is good [Jack chuckles]. Let’s time.is.

KEITH: Okay.

JACK: Okay.

AUSTIN: Um, you want to do five seconds?

[pause, followed by claps]

NICK: ...I didn’t clap.

KEITH: I also missed it.

AUSTIN: Okay. Well, that’s good.

KEITH: Oh [laughs]. My thing was several seconds behind, it just jumped forward three seconds.

AUSTIN: Oh, weird.

KEITH: Okay.

NICK: I’m out of practice.

KEITH: My internet must be weird.

AUSTIN: It’s okay, we’ll shake it out. You know what, let’s get a good one up here.

NICK: I have not clapped in—

AUSTIN: Let’s do thirty seconds. Are we all ready to do thirty seconds?

NICK: Yes.

KEITH: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Alright.

[pause, followed by claps]

AUSTIN: That sounded good to me. Welcome back.

KEITH: I only heard three claps, but that must be that—

AUSTIN: All the other claps lined right up.

KEITH: All the—yeah, totally [laughs].

AUSTIN: Alright.

[musical interlude, 14:02]

AUSTIN: Whatever you want, really.

JACK: This is fine.

AUSTIN: Yeah, mm-hm. We could just do that chat. But that’d kind of be torturing Ali.

KEITH: Oh, A—

ALI: Yeah, I thought Fire Emblem doesn’t come out until the twentieth.

AUSTIN: Yeah, it’s not—

JACK: Is it a Switch exclusive?

AUSTIN: It is.

ALI: I think so, yeah.

JACK: Wow, that’s really interesting, wow.

ALI: I know some people have advance copies.

AUSTIN: Yeah, I have a press copy.

ALI: Yeah.

AUSTIN: I have a press copy which I—don’t tell Nintendo, I sent it to Dre. So that’s the reason Dre, and also Ja—we have a virtual Switch desktop.

ALI: Oh, do you guys have a family account?

AUSTIN: Yeah.

ALI: You’re all sharing—

AUSTIN: Yes. We got the family account set up.

ALI: Wow.

AUSTIN: Which they said was illegal for me to share with anyone named Ali.

JACK: We forged some certificates.

AUSTIN: Yeah.

JACK: We’re all siblings now.

AUSTIN: We’re all siblings now.

DRE: See, it was my understanding it came out early in the UK because there’s more castles there.

[Jack laughs]

AUSTIN: Right.

ALI: Ohhhh.

AUSTIN: That was part of the agreement.

JACK: It’s all very Welsh. Also, there’s a lot of bootleg Shakespeare in this game [laughs].

AUSTIN: There is. Well, especially your—Golden Deer has a lot of King Lear references in the names, specifically.

JACK: Very interesting.

AUSTIN: Mm-hm.

JACK: But yeah, Ali, don’t worry about it, it doesn’t come out, no one’s playing it, and it’s not excellent.

DRE: No.

ALI: Yeah [laughs].

AUSTIN: I’m gonna go live.

JACK: Also, I bought eighty thousand bells worth of turnips in Animal Crossing.

DRE: Oh boy.

ALI: Wow.

JACK: Playing big on the turnip market this week.

AUSTIN: That’s just not—

ALI: You had money to spend. Do they go bad? Don’t they go bad?

JACK: After a week, yeah.

ALI: Hmmm.

JACK: I had a really lucky turnip run last week, where I bought them for one hundred and four, which is quite expensive as far as turnips go, and on Day One and Two Reese was only buying them for thirty bells, so I was like, “I’m fucked.” But on Thursday she came through with a one hundred and sixty bell turnip offer, at which point I sold everything.t

ALI: I think you’re too aggressive with this turnip market, it’s gonna blow up in your face.

DRE: It’s bad.

JACK: A great crash, the Great Crash of Small Animals.  

ALI: It’s not great. I also don’t like—the thing with new Twitter, is that like if you click on a Tweet—

AUSTIN: I hate it. Yup.

ALI: —and it’s a conversation, then on the side it will be like, “Relevant People,” and it’s all the people—

AUSTIN: It’s just the people in the Tweet!

ALI: It’s like so weird.

AUSTIN: It’s just the people in the Tweets! Of course I see them! Of course they’re relevant! They’re right there!

DRE: I really appreciate Twitter rolling out this new awful layout right as I decided, “Man, I need to back off Twitter.”

[Jack laughs]

ALI: Yeah.

DRE: Like, I need to use Twitter a lot less.

ALI: Yeah.

DRE: They’re just helping me out

ALI: It’s only desktop Twitter which is so horrid right now, but it still counts.

JACK: Yes. I’m a big TweetDeck person, so this desktop change hasn’t hit me as much as I was worried it would but I have a feeling it’s only a matter of time.

AUSTIN: Are y’all good to time.is?

ALI: Oh, let me—

DRE: Oh, that website.

ALI: Oh, can you—?

AUSTIN: Oh, I should give you the links. I should give you the links.

ALI: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Yeah.

ALI: I would love one.

AUSTIN: There you go, and you have the sp—not spreadsheet, the presentation already, right?

ALI: I do have the presentation, yes.

AUSTIN: Hi, Katie in the chat.

ALI: Oh, hey! Poppin’ this chat out, let’s go.

AUSTIN: Alright. Ready to clap?

JACK: Yes.

DRE: Yes.

AUSTIN: You want to do it at five seconds?

ALI: Five? Yeah.

[claps]

AUSTIN: That sounded really good to me [laughs, Ali laughs].

DRE: Spicy claps.

AUSTIN: Spicy claps. Alright. Let me get my notes, make this big again. Nope, go back. Go back to the title. There we go. Alright.

[musical interlude, 17:56]

KEITH: It’s also Mudkip day, so I went from no Mudkip candies to now I’ve got a Swampert.

AUSTIN: I don’t, I don’t follow.

KEITH: You turn—you catch a Mudkip and then you turn it into candy.

AUSTIN: You turn a Mudkip into candy?

ART: You don’t remember this?

KEITH: Oh, you don’t remember this?

AUSTIN: I was not in the Pokemon world during this.

KEITH: So, this is exclusive to Pokemon Go. When you don’t—if you catch a Pokemon—

AUSTIN: Yeah.

KEITH: —you need to evolve it. But you can’t evolve it without the right amount of candies. But the way that you get more candies is by catching Pokemon—

AUSTIN: Ohhh. Okay.

KEITH: —and then sending them to the Professor and he sends you back candies.

AUSTIN: I—yeah. I knew this three years ago. You’re right, I’ve forgotten. Apologies.

KEITH: Yeah. It’s fine. It’s um, you know—

ART: I’m sending a letter.

AUSTIN: Okay [laughs].

KEITH: It’s good to, you know—I’ve gamified walking for myself. I did—

AUSTIN: No, I get it.  

KEITH: There’s no other way to describe it.

AUSTIN: I get it. It’s—that’s what it is.

KEITH: Yeah. But it’s helping me get into the park and walking around, so.

AUSTIN: Yeah, totally. I used to do that Zombies Run so I can’t—I’m not free of sin.

KEITH: Yeah. And I’ve just—I was—I think I’ll always just love Pokemon. I always will love it.

AUSTIN: Yeah! Good for you, I’m happy, that’s not a bad thing.

KEITH: No. So how’s everybody else?

ART: Well, Craig’s recording.

AUSTIN: Craig’s here, Craig’s recording.

ART: Our heatwave broke already. We had a heatwave earlier in the week.

AUSTIN: Good.

ART: Not as dramatic as the heat y’all have been having, but it’s over here.

AUSTIN: It’s bad right now.

KEITH: Now, about this heat though.

AUSTIN: Yeah.

ART: Yeah.

KEITH: It’s bad. It sucks and it’s bad. But I’m getting weather alerts on my phone—

AUSTIN: Yeah.

KEITH: —and I’m hearing, you know, people being, like, really upset. It’s July and it’s like the second 90-degree day. Like, isn’t that just July? Isn’t that just what July, like, every July you get a couple?

AUSTIN: Yeah, the heat sucks.

KEITH: Yeah. Okay.

AUSTIN: Yeah, this is not—Right now—The New York that I’m suffering through right now, it sucks but I’ve lived through worse. I’ve had 100-degree, 102-degree days in New York before.

KEITH: Oh, sure.

AUSTIN: For sure, for sure.

KEITH: Yeah.

AUSTIN: So this is not as bad, and it’s about to break. Tomorrow it’s gonna rain, and I’m looking at the rest of this week and there are days where there are lows in the 60s. Can’t wait.

KEITH: Yeah. I just feel like people are especially—people are especially, I don't’ want to say ‘panicked’...what’s one under ‘panicked’? People are like, “Oh my God, can you believe it?” I’m like, “Three 90-degree days in a row? [Austin laughs] Yeah, I can believe that.”

AUSTIN: I absolutely—here’s what I’ll say. I feel like the world sucks right now, and so one more—it’s one more thing. You know what I mean? It’s one more thing.

KEITH: Right. Yeah, now we’ve got to beat the heat too?

AUSTIN: We’ve got to beat the fucking heat? You want me to beat the heat?

KEITH: Are you expecting me to live in this world and also beat the heat?

AUSTIN: I can barely beat the week, let alone the heat!

[Keith laughs]

AUSTIN: Umm, I’m gonna make a scratch document for us to type things into.

KEITH: Pokemon Go: beat the heat.

AUSTIN: Is that the new—that’s the new thing?

KEITH: Yeah, it’s the summer expansion.

AUSTIN: Ah, yeah.

ART: I’ve opened every character sheet for a character not—a class not being used.

AUSTIN: Great, good.

KEITH: Oh God. I didn’t do that.

AUSTIN: That’s more than you probably need, but.

ART: Well, there’s already like—some of these aren’t good for this environment.

AUSTIN: Right. Right, like you’re not a bounty hunter or whatever.

ART: And the Spider is just all downtime actions, which is not gonna happen in this short game on a stage, you know?

AUSTIN: I didn’t realize that’s what the Spider was. I don’t remember if know what the Spider is.

KEITH: There’s a spider?

AUSTIN: It’s a class.

ART: It’s not a literal spider.

AUSTIN: Yeah.

KEITH: Okay. It’s not—you’re not playing a big spider.

AUSTIN: No. No.

KEITH: Could I be?

AUSTIN: Could you be? Phew. You know. We could talk. We could introduce a new species into Hieron at this event, that would be [snorts] funny.

[Keith laughs]  

AUSTIN: Um—Sorry, I’m just getting my stuff together.

KEITH: How come no one ever mentioned the giant spider-race before?

AUSTIN: Yeah, weird. What happened in this one year that had erased them from existence to such a degree?

ART: They were here the whole time.

AUSTIN: Huh.

KEITH: Yeah, they just happened to not be around.

ART: They’ve been in the background of so many scenes.

KEITH: Yeah, it’s like the rock-people.

AUSTIN: Yeah, they were just hanging out there. You know how Castille can do that thing where she becomes like a spider-robot? That’s based on the spider species.

ART: Rosana was a giant spider the whole time.

AUSTIN: We just never talked about it, it wasn’t a big deal. You know, kind of a fun background event.

KEITH: I was always confused why the fanart was coming out with Rosana just being like two-legged human.

AUSTIN: Yeah, I always just want to let people fill in the blanks a little bit, you know what I mean?

ART: Yeah, you don’t want to police the fanwork.

AUSTIN: Right. Exactly, exactly. I feel like there’s room for human—

KEITH: I don’t want to police anything.

AUSTIN: You know, human-Rosana is a totally—[laughs] Yeah, I know that about you, Keith. Um, character sheets, okay. So, we should clap. Is a thing we should do.

ART: I have so many tabs open, because of all these sheets.

AUSTIN: Oh boy.

KEITH: Do we want to do a 3-2-1?

AUSTIN: No, we should do a real clap.

KEITH: 3-2-1 is a real clap.

AUSTIN: We should do a real clap.

KEITH: Alright.

ART: Thirty-five?

AUSTIN: Thirty-five.

[Outro music plays to end]