What Alternatives to Calling 911
Would Help Keep You Safe?
A lived experience resourced offering from folks living with suicidality
Curated by @Dandelion.Hill + @Kaitlin_TheRelatableTherapist (IG)
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Note: Included are unfiltered responses from people with lived experience. We are all nuanced and complex individuals so what works for one, might not work for you. Please take what resonates and leave that doesn’t.
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Alternatives to psychiatric incarceration, peer support, respites, non-carceral mobile crisis response, & community to lean on for emotional and material support. Not depending on the state to help has been so important and life saving for me.
I wish that there were more of these resources available to save lives and offer actual care, but I am so grateful that people are creating and cultivating them more and more. We keep us safe.
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having my immediate, urgent and basic survival needs met. sometimes that’s a tall ask under these structures but there should be more pooling of funds, community micro grants and other material mutual aid resources out there for MMINDDS folks who cannot afford our basic needs. often it’s the fact that i’m struggling to afford the roof over my head or food that pushes me over the edge.
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having local friends or comrades come over & spend some time with me 💖 help eating: having someone cook for & eat with me or order delivery for me 💖 phone or video calls to share space, hang out, distract + keep me company 💖 check-ins + phone calls 💖 ppl reaching out to ME & offering me a few tangible ideas of what they can offer (vs. ppl being like "let me know if you need anything" etc.) 💖
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im an international student in Toronto n something I’ve used is their 211 program which is a 911 alternative / not cops. It’s a program of the Gerstein Crisis Centre I believe (who amongst other things, has some emergency beds for temporary stays of 3-5 days I believe) but in v extreme situations where I felt unsafe they were able to come directly to me, ended up calling an uber to a hospital for myself & some friends, came w me in the uber & then I opted to check in to the hospital but when I was discharged, they also called me to check in as part of a 48 hour check (though w my hospital stay it was more than 48 hours)
And just having a non cop alternative to call in a crisis moment + knowing they’re trauma informed (also aware that medical systems can be carceral so..this isn’t where all resources should go n shouldn’t be the only option) but yeah just sharing as smth I’ve personally used that is being rolled out wider on a city level.
then also just having stronger community connections like im well connected where I study n things but idk where community fridges n things like that are where I grew up. I am not connected to my neighbors there anymore so just more public space to connect with people near n on residential areas would be so meaningful for me bc that allows for so so much.
also sorry this is such a long comment but thinking about PSOs as they relate to abortion access n care n wondering if similar practical support orgs n directories could be set up around suicidality n support + care w that
+ resourcing more folks! love the alt to suicides zines I’ve seen & I try to direct folks to the @callbubbie resources a lot, too! - rads <3
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If it’s just intrusive thoughts: Helping me to limit overwhelm in the moment, to slow things down, to simplify things, dont force me to make too many choices, I need to rest and feel like someone else is able to catch me in that moment so I don’t sink.
If it’s an urge I might act on, help me redirect the energy to a safer outlet - let’s go break shit and scream together. Don’t tell me to calm down, don’t ignore me or deny what’s happening, just help me find a safe way to redirect the energy.
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My connection to animals saved my life.
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People willing to support with basic human needs--bringing me food, giving me a safe place to stay, someone coming to my space and helping clean or other support to make my own space feel livable
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When I was fully suicidal: going to the hospital helped me and so did having friends who checked in on me regularly. I continue to have pretty regular suicidal thoughts I wouldn’t act on, and having a therapist who I can tell that to without her telling anyone or calling or judging, REALLY helps
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Presence of a non judging friend where maybe they just sit with me, be with me. Minimal talking, just being with each other idk
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i know it’s a vague answer but, being able to afford my medications and therapy again.
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Acceptance work and depathologizing. Understanding suicidal thoughts are a normal response to pain and suffering. Learning to live with them and not be afraid of them. Having people that don’t panic or become disturbed by hearing about them.
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Medication to handle the moment (either rx or self). Text/chat (non verbal options) with a Peer. Someone who’s been there.
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For me, getting some good animal time in is essential. Whether it’s having my own friend, or being able to pet and interact with other peoples’ animal friends reminds me of the serenity, longevity, and innocent joy of nature. Nature makes me remember that no matter how alone, overwhelmed, or unimportant I feel, I remember that Mother Earth is my ancestor. Mother Earth is there for me when no one else is. I will sometimes literally just hug a tree and cry and feel the pain fully. Everyone is different, but I’m a hardcore isolater. I will not reach out in crisis because it stoked the guilt and shame actively fueling my crisis mind. This is how I have turned to nature, and she always supports me unconditionally!
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When I was last suicidal I was having derealization that went on for 24 hours a day for almost two years straight. It was scary and if my friends didn’t support me I wouldn’t be here. One of the best things people did was a meal train and going for walks with me and my dog. Paying for acupuncture which I went to 2-3X a week and couldn’t afford. Friends helped me get Valium to help me with the panic attacks which made the derealization worse. I couldn’t get it prescribed to me. And sleep!!!! Sleep is so important! I had insomnia which was making me feel more suicidal. Just so important for us to recognize we have tools to help each other and sometimes it’s just helping ground or with basic needs. I needed to feel in reality.
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Having someone safe who is aware of what I'm going through to just stay with me, kinda like a trip sitter. A friend or peer worker who could either provide or create a calm comfortable environment, go for a walk, have a genuine conversation, help me with basic tasks of living, or do self-care-ish activities with me. Being there in a supportive capacity without trying to fix or save me. Ideally with a plan in advance of how they could best support me.
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Getting high
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Listening and accepting suicide as an option. Respect the personal decision of suicide
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Basic care needs being taken care of to help release some of the burden of being alive. Meals, dog walks, cleaning, encouragement to shower, brush teeth, etc.
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Peer warm lines!
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Honestly, having a place that is safe to just slow down and doing something mindless or absolutely nothing. When I was at my worst in regard SI, the only real tie keeping me here was my dog. Sometimes I would just lay on the floor with him and rest my head on him for as long as he was comfortable and watch TV or scroll on my phone. He’s not here anymore but I am now in a much healthier place and successfully medicated. I have a tattoo in his memory as I am forever grateful for his love and loyalty.
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A good support system. I have also called my states Warm Line that is staffed with Intentional Peer Support Specialists.
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when I couldn’t keep myself safe but didn’t want to go to the hospital; I locked up pills and other things I may use in a time of vulnerability; I went to a friends house during peak moments of needing to keep myself safe and we just watched movies together
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Madqueer.org has a mad map which has helped me do an accessible and affirming distress plan that utilizes non institutional supports while also understanding and deciding when institutional intervention is needed and how community can support me through it
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…a peer support line that is staffed 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. And what we mean by peer support is, cheers who are actively ideating, but are also in a good enough headspace to be able to actively listen to someone who is eating and potentially heading towards resolving their pain. We have been offering ourselves up to folks we have met in the community that have survived, some level of trauma that made all of us first attempt when we were toddlers. Within this community, we have been able to be a person to be there for folks who are ideating and heading to the hospital or debating on whether they should go to the hospital or just cease to exist on This Mortal Coil.
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learning that actually its really common to have SI and suicidal/self harm urges; focus on “common humanity”
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an SOS list that's a small list of ppl (3-5) that you know you can call/text (ppl that felt safe, wouldn’t judge me or feed shame)
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distraction and distress tolerance for me has been huge — 3-5 go-to things (e.g., short walks, getting outside of my house, using cold compresses, breathing etc)
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Cultural interventions
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24 hr healing lodges
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Peer support
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suicide crisis teams having therapy dogs
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Depathologizing my suicidality has been life saving. If I call 911 or tag in state systems when I am in distress it will ONLY make it worse. Essentially, recognizing my suicidality as a breaking point in terms of what I am able to tolerate while living in an inhospitable world full of violence, colonialism, subjection under capitalism, and all manner of oppression versus viewing it as a flaw to be fixed by authoritarian experts hell-bent on psychiatrically incarcerating me and taking away my freedom.
PSW support
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give me and my children access to healthcare and food
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988 support line to do safety planning
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hotlines/peer lines/warmlines or support groups
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different levels of care like IOP or PHP
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project lets
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The biggest thing that kept me safe while I was actively suicidal was my loved ones organizing an "on call" list of people available for me to talk to 24/7, with different people being available at different times. I had no capacity to do this myself, so I asked a few loved ones to create it for me. I don't have a huge support circle, so they also reached out to trusted and safe individuals that I wasn't necessarily close to but who were willing to hold that space for me during certain times of the day no when no one else was available. The end result was a list of phone numbers and other contact info I was able to use to reach out to someone at all times, making sure I was never fully alone. I also tried to be in the presence of someone 24/7, though that was harder for me personally with a smaller support system, but the same concept applies. People can make themselves available during certain times of the day, in whatever capacity they have (for example, some people only wanted to message me and not talk on the phone), collaborating with the rest of the support system to create a 24/7 support network of people available to hold space and be present.