Chapter Eight
Cecilia put the bow to her violin and took a deep breath in as she stood ready to perform before the officers. Included among them were officers of the cavalry, the academy, the army and even a few lower staff from the navy. Despite the relaxed atmosphere, she felt nervous playing before such a prestigious crowd. She slid the bow forward and back, allowing the notes to sing for her while the officers began to get drunk and talk.
“So, where do you think Botan scurried off too?” Iroha asked, taking a drink of wine straight from the bottle and passing it to Suisei
“To nurse her wounds no doubt. She really got a good beating.” she replied, taking another drink
“See? I knew you secretly enjoyed it. Now hand me the bottle, don’t hog it all.”
Iroha ripped the bottle out from her fingers as Suisei lightly tried to keep it for herself. With a puff of her pipe, she took another drink and handed the bottle back, clapping a few times as the music continued.
“She’s impressive.” Suisei said, taking another drink “Where does someone even find time to learn the violin of all things?”
“Probably a childhood passion, no doubt. You know, at one point I had taken up archery. Professional archery.”
The lieutenant laughed.
“Why are you still such a bad shot then?”
She gave her subordinate a light shove.
“Oh, shut it. I’m pretty good for a rider.”
Iroha got up, setting her cap on a small side table with a small sigh. She removed her coat then held a hand out to Suisei.
“A dance for the beautiful lady?” she said in an overly sexy tone
Suisei laughed and took her hand.
“Oh my commander~! B-but wouldn’t an inferior officer as I be doing something so… so scandalous?” she bantered back in an equally silly voice
“Don’t worry, fair Lieutenant, no one must know.”
They both began to dance together, causing the other officers to laugh and clap. A few others joined in the dancing. For once, everyone felt completely relaxed. They could dance and goof off and not worry a wit about the world outside. It was, secretly, what all present wanted to do: go back to the days of goofing off, flirting, and jovial dancing that accompanied youth. Cecilia made a sharp, punctual note with her bow atop her violin, prompting everyone to simultaneously make a quick, punchy pirouette and come to a stop. Everyone clapped and cheered at such a great performance. Botan opened the door and walked inside, waving away the thick cigarette smoke with her hand like she was wading through a thick morning fog.
“Botan! You just missed the fun!” Iroha said “Suisei and I danced.”
She rubbed a bruise on her cheek and smiled.
“I’m sorry. I was tending to all my wounds. Night’s not over yet, so I’m sure we’ve got some fun left.”
She took a seat in between Iroha and Suisei, pulling out the cigar and lighting it. She took a long swig of the alcohol bottle.
“You seem pretty chipper for a woman who just got her ass kicked.” Iroha chuckled
“Ass kicked? I managed to beat all but one opponent!” she said indignantly “If that isn’t proof of my strength, I have no idea what is.”
Botan sat looking proud and arrogant, causing Iroha to lightly punch her ribs.
“That’s true, that’s true. If only the N’s didn’t use guns, we’d be unstoppable.”
Botan laughed and let out a few coughs.
“So, I missed some dancing, anything else?”
“Not a lot. Cecilia over there was playing the most wonderous music. Should’ve heard it.” Suisei said “Hey, Immergreen! Play us another song!”
“Suisei, what’s this?” Botan asked as the music began to play again “Are you drunk right now? What about the protocol! The rules!”
“Oh, shut up!” she said, giving her a shove “I’m not that uptight.”
They both laughed and Botan put her feet up, listening to the music as Cecilia drew her bow forward and back. It truly was a magnificent sound that flowed out from the stringed instrument, one that made it apparent to Botan why people still went to live shows instead of the new moving pictures. Her fingers expertly hit each and every note, not slipping even once.
“So, what happened with Sora?” Iroha asked “She looked really banged up. I hope you helped treat her wounds.”
“I did, yes. It was worse than it looked, to be honest. She’ll definitely have one strong welt on her cheek though.” she giggled “It’s good for her though. It’ll toughen her up.”
“Still think she’s cavalry material?”
“Absolutely. She’ll make a fine cavalry officer one of these days. I told you she had potential; I have an eye for talent.”
Iroha let out a soft snort of laughter.
“You’ve got an eye for something, that’s for sure.”
AZKi stood outside the foot of the Stupa in the early hours of the morning. It was a small, unassuming thing, big enough only to accommodate around fifty people and made entirely of wood. From each side of its sloped, cone-like roof hung lines with six small flags, each depicting the symbol of the Great Pantheon. The Great Pantheon was the title given to the God’s that were most fervently worshiped and believed to be the first of the many that came later. She put her shoulder against the door and pushed it open, feeling how much lighter the effort had become since joining the academy, then stepped into the small chapel. It was different during early hours, its nooks and crannies dark, the stained glass absent of color with the moon shrouded by clouds and a thick, tangible quiet all around. Her footsteps echoed in the halls and as she got closer to the Stupa’s front, she felt just how alone she really was. Even as she gazed upon the six shrines the stood slightly adjacent from one another on the long table, she felt isolated. No presence was felt from them, no God and no Goddess lay sleeping within. All she felt was herself. With IRyS now gone, it felt as though, once again, the pantheon was refuted with no reprisal. She put her fingers atop the shrine symbolizing the God of Death, Jug-Eum. It formed a tower that looked very reminiscent of a lidless casket and on its front it bore the signature sigil of her being: the Black Wheel, meant to serve as a reminder that death and life are cyclical. So cyclical that some scholars had even theorized that Jug-Eum and Salm, the Goddess of Life, were in fact one and the same.
She knelt down before the shrines and clasped her hands, bending her face forward in prayer. What prayer could she possibly offer now? All she could think to ask for was salvation for herself, yet, if the gods cared so little for IRyS, a believer fervent enough to rival her father, why would they give a care of what happened to her? She took her hands back and stood up again, feeling the dark black realization that she too was going to meet the very same fate as IRyS. The only thing worse than her sister’s death was the thought of her parents having to bury two children. It was then she felt angry. A sudden burst of unchecked anger took root in her and she let out a scream of rage, spinning around and bunching the air. Even now, she still had some sense of fear in the gods that prevented her from striking the shrines. Suddenly, a priest entered the chapel looking startled at the woman inside. AZKi’s entire face went pink.
“O-oh, sorry! I… I shouldn’t have come in during closing hours.”
“Oh! AZKi! It’s you! Why I hardly recognized you.” he said, a subtle jape at her sparse service attendance
“I’m sorry. I’ll just be leaving…”
“It’s alright… I… heard about the news with your sister. It’s clear you needed to speak to the Gods and Goddesses and if that is their will, I won’t deny them.”
“I appreciate it… will you be presiding over the funeral?”
“Afraid not. It will be one of my junior preachers.”
“I see…” she paused for a long while “Father? Do you… has your faith ever been shaken?”
He nodded, walked up to the table and began using a special cotton swab to clean the shrines. The handle was made of black wood and its cotton tip plucked from the very same tree. The tree itself, a type of spruce only grown in the lower valley of the country, was said to have been hair from the God of Thunder, cast into the earth with lightning bolts that purified the ground around it. It only made sense, therefore, to use such an instrument to perfectly clean such sacred antiques.
“Yes. I have before. I was a field chaplain in my early days. I served in the second half of the conquest of Daeyang. Seeing men and women die by the score… it’s difficult not to feel rattled by that.”
AZKi took a seat on the frontmost pew.
“How did you keep your faith so strong then?”
“It was enough for me to know that I had a divine mission given to me and that was why I was spared any bullet. Through them, I found purpose. Ever considered priesthood, AZKi? I think it’d suit you well.”
AZKi looked down at her shoes with a guilty face. He didn’t even hesitate to give such a perfect, well-reasoned answer.
“How could I? If you want to know the truth, I barely believe… and if the gods are real… I’m…” her lip quivered “I am so angry at them for taking her…”
He finished cleaning each grain of dust from the first shrine, thinking of how to soothe the young soldier as he went. Finally, he replied.
“I won’t say it’s the Gods’ plan, for I don’t know it. And I know from bitter experience, it is an insult to tell someone that the death of a loved one is in some way a divine message. All I can offer you is comfort that I know the faith can provide. Rather than view it all as a master plan, I instead take the approach of serenity in understanding each of them.”
“I’m sorry for taking up your time, Father…”
AZKi began to exit only to be stopped by the preacher.
“Hold a moment. I didn’t say all that just to fill space. Before you go, take this.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked to be a thin sheet of iron no bigger than a medal. Carved on the front was the symbol of the Goddess of Life, a blooming lily, and on the back was one of the most popular verses associated with her. The writing was rough and messy, almost as if made by hand with a dull knife. It read:
“Though the fruit of her is gone once eaten, its taste lingers forever after. Though she departs, she blossoms again in Spring.”
She gripped the sheet tightly, resisting to urge to cry once again. The preacher resumed cleaning each of the shrines.
“I craved that myself while fighting during my time in the war, during the Battle of Rouh. I had just lost my eighth patient that day and, understandably, my faith couldn’t have been more rattled. I tended to a ninth man as he lay there in agony having had his shoulder blown away by a canon and he told me he wanted to hear that passage.” he explained looking at the stained glass in deep thought “I was sure he’d not make it, after all, sepsis had taken hold and the infection was making him violently ill… I read to him every day different parts of the teachings of Salm and every day he got just a little less sick. I carved that verse into a bit of tin from a ration and it helped keep me strong, it’s reminded me of the importance of the faith even when all around looks lost. I want you to have it.”
AZKi looked wide-eyed and shook her head.
“I couldn’t possibly take this, father.”
“Please.” he assured her “I have reached the end of my spiritual crisis. It is time to pass that on to someone who needs their faith mended like I did. Maybe one day you’ll do the same to someone else. I can think of no better use of it than that.”
Sora exited the first aid ward, rubbing her cheek and giggling to herself. If only AZKi could see her now! She couldn’t wait to tell her about the fight and see the look of shock on her face. Her glee turned to sadness, realizing right now, instead of partying the night away as she was, AZKi was bawling her eyes out. It didn’t seem right that she got to enjoy such a wonderful party while her best friend grieved. Civia approached her, drink in hand.
“How are you feeling?”
Sora smiled again, still feeling the sparks from her kiss with Botan.
“Amazing.”
“You don’t look amazing.” she giggled, eyeing the bruise “Man, Fubuki really gave it to you good.”
“How is Fubuki, anyway?”
She raised her eyebrow and crossed her arms.
“Why do you even care after the walloping she gave you?”
“I just wanted to make sure she got as good as she gave.”
Civia let out a hardy laugh, the smell of alcohol from her breath blowing directly into Sora’s face.
“Well, if you want to know, you gave her a pretty bad bloody nose. I don’t think it broke.”
“I’ll take what I can get.”
They began to walk back to the field where sparring matches were still taking place. To the far west side, near the junior barracks, stood a table full of alcohol and food.
“Gonna drink with us tonight?”
“I really shouldn’t…”
“Oh, come on! Look right…” Civia put her arm around her shoulder and drank the full cup “You could be deployed like… tomorrow… and you’d totally regret not doing it, so come on. Let’s get something to drink. We need to party like we’re going to the frontline tomorrow.”
Sora smiled and nodded.
“Alright.”
“That’s the spirit! Now let’s get some… spirits!”
They trotted over to the alcohol table, Civia’s arm still draped over Sora’s shoulder to keep herself steady and got themselves drinks. Civia held hers out.
“I propose… a toast! To friends.”
Sora held hers out, feeling a twinge of sadness at a toast to friends without AZKi present.
“To friends.”
They clinked cups and knocked them back. Sora let out a few coughs.
“Man… wow… that is strong.”
“The military gives you a lot of shitty garbage but they really know how to throw a party, huh?”
“They really do.”
On the other side of the field, Fubuki and Moona watched with slight contempt. Fubuki had finally gotten the bleeding for her nose to stop and sat resting with a cup of beer in her hand, slowly but surely getting drunk.
“We need to teach them a lesson.” Fubuki grumbled
“Like how?”
“Not sure… but we need to do something to put her in her place. Look at her… playing buddy-buddy with the officers, fighting dirty…” she spit on the ground “makes me sick.”
Moona crossed her arms and nodded in agreement.
“Especially with how stupid she is. I still can’t believe how off course she got us in the nav exam. I mean it’s literally a map!” she said, letting out a dolphin-like laugh “Shouldn’t be too hard to bring her down a peg.”
Fubuki finished off the last of her alcohol and wiped her mouth, glaring at Sora and Civia as they partook in the festivities.
“It’s gotta be something good though… like… we can’t just rough her up, that’s too easy. I want to really teach her a lesson that she’s never going to forget.”
AZKi stood outside the doors of the Stupa in preparation for the funeral to commense. The day was slightly chilly with a slow, but cutting wind and the sun was blinding. A horsedrawn cart that had inside it three caskets pulled up just outside the iron gates. Each grave box was marked with a number attached to a sticky note and IRyS’s casket was number one of fifteen for the day.
Nothing is in there she told herself, shutting her eyes tightly nothing. It’s empty.
Her family soon joined her outside, as did the men IRyS had saved. Each of them was strong, grizzly and bald as a melon. They bore strong facial features that suggested their ancestry lay in Grün. They stood in front of her and each bowed.
“Good morning. You must be AZKi.”
She bit her lip and nodded. For a split second she felt angry at them. If they had just left the bunker sooner, IRyS wouldn’t have had to save them! She held the side of her arm and looked down.
“Yes, um… that’s…” she sighed “that’s me…”
“Your sister was amazing…” he said “she was always looking out for us. Best platoon captain we could’ve ever asked for.”
AZKi gripped her sleeve again. Stop that she uttered in her mind you made all this happen! If you had just gotten up! She brushed some tears from her eyes.
“Sorry...” she sniffled “just… I’m sorry…”
“I’ll give you some space for now. We’re acting as honor guard of the ceremony so we ought to be getting to our positions anyway.”
The men all walked to the cart, lifting the heavy casket onto their shoulders, each one feeling the weight of the woman they failed to rescue upon them. Though none wanted to admit it, they all imagined if this was what it may have felt like to have been beneath all the rubble the day of the attack. AZKi watched with each heavy step as the casket approached the doors and each step made her legs weaker and weaker. She couldn’t bear the thought of seeing the thing opened, seeing her sister inside it. She wanted to run, for the first time in her life she wanted to run as far from home as she could. Her shoes remained glued to the ground and her knees locked as step by step, the silvery-white casket made its way in front of her and into the holy ground for the ceremony. Everyone filed in and the horrible moment of truth was soon to be upon her. It smelled heavily of incense oil and wood from a small stove, a smell synonymous with youth owed to how regularly they attended services as a family. The table that had once sat six shrines now lay bare to allow room for the casket. The men approached, turning very deliberately and methodically as they slowly set to rest the heavy burden on their shoulders against the Stupa’s ceremonial table then took their seats. The priest began to approach the head of the casket and AZKi panicked. Don’t open it! she begged silently please just keep it closed! Please!
The priest opened the casket’s head to reveal the deceased and AZKi placed her hand over her mouth. IRyS didn’t look dead at all. Her cheeks still had a human color thanks to an excellent makeup artist, her hair cleaned and washed properly for the first time in what had been close to seven months and her skin smooth and gentle from exfoliant. She seemed to look better in death than she had in the final seven months of life. The priest began to say words for the departed but, mentally, AZKi had completely checked out. She heard naught but vague mumbling and soft sobs as she stared almost catatonic at the body of her sister. The ceremony continued until finally everyone was given the chance to leave and offering. AZKi was the last to step forward, slowly making her way up to the casket to see IRyS one final time before she would be interred. She gazed down at the dead woman in the casket, burning each and every minute detail of her face into her memory. Even without a photo, she wanted to remember what she looked like forever. She pulled out her mother’s wedding ring, the one keepsake she had that reminded her of home, and gently slid it around IRyS’s finger. Something about it felt so perverse. After all, it wasn’t hers to give away. Next came words for the departed; AZKi’s mom sobbed and her father was nearly brought to tears before the audience yet she still felt nothing at the sight. She simply watched and waited for the procedure to end as the casket was closed and brought outside to be buried in the family plot that housed so many of their relatives and would one day house her.
AZKi watched dirt pile after dirt pile be poured atop the casket and found a strange calm had taken her. Perhaps she had finally been broken. Perhaps so much misery had occurred over such a short period that even she couldn’t cope with it. Pile by pile her mother wailed away yet she stood silent. Finally, one final shovel and the gave was sealed, leaving at its head a white marble stone with the words “Here rests Second Lieutenant IRyS 1882-1914.” It felt like such a waste that she be given so few words on her headstone, as though her life, her beauty, could all be summed up merely in rank and name. Everyone began to file off apart from AZKi and her father.
“She’s… she’s really gone.”
Her father remained quiet for a long while.
“She is.” he replied, clearing his hoarse throat
AZKi bowed her head, at a loss for words.
“What do I do now…? How am I supposed to go back to the military?”
“Because that is your duty, AZKi.” he said quietly “It is… what you signed up for.”
“You say that so easily…”
She looked at her father, still so cold and stone faced; a façade meant to hold back the wellspring of sadness that lay just beneath the skin. He said nothing in reply as they both remained standing over the grave. They stood there for so long, neither were even sure of the passage of time. Finally, her father spoke again.
“Why don’t we head home? I’m sure your mother could use our company.”
“Yes…”
They walked down to the gates of the cemetery and AZKi turned her head one final time to gaze upon what remained of her sister.
Sora knelt down, breathing heavily and sweating as Noel clicked the button of her mechanical stopwatch. She sat beneath a shaded tree as each cadet ran their mile lap, sipping on a cold drink as Specialist Immergreen stood at her side like a statue. She looked almost like a plantation owner peering out on the fields as her slaves worked away in the hot sun, an expression that indicated a certain pleasure from watching it take place.
“My, my, Sora…” she said, showing Cecilia the time so she could record it on a chart “Seven minutes and fifty-eight seconds. Color me impressed.”
Sora smiled brightly, wiping what felt like a canteen’s worth of sweat from her brow.
“Thanks! I’ve been working hard.”
“I can tell. Keep up the good work, Private. I’m proud of your progress.”
Sora felt alive with joy, it was like getting congratulated by the Colonel herself. She walked over to a patch of grass and dropped on her back, letting the sweet release of relaxation wash over her. While the run was impressive for someone like her, she had given it every ounce she had. Her heart thud in her chest like someone was stomping on her and the sweat came in such thick sheets she felt as though she’d just gotten out of the shower. Civia approached her a minute and a half later, just as exasperated, and lay next to her.
“How…” Sora coughed a bit “how was it?”
Civia merely responded with a long groan that made Sora giggle. After a while of relaxing, they both sat up.
“Since when were you so quick on your feet?”
She looked at her hand, still feeling the electricity flying all over. First Botan, now this. She felt on top of the world.
“Just a really good day, I guess.”
Noel walked out to the field, blowing her bugle.
“Alright, Cadets! It’s rest period. Go get yourselves washed up for class in an hour.”
Sora hopped up and began making a B-line for the squad barracks. Nothing sounded better right now than a cold shower. She stood in line with two girls ahead of her and as was common, the girl next in line had already stripped bare. With shower times of only three minutes, they wanted to make every second count. Sora looked around to see Fubuki directly behind her and felt a deep chill of fear as she gazed upon her still cut lip and bruised collarbone from a particularly well-angled punch.
“What?” she asked, annoyed “Think I look hot or something?”
Sora immediately turned ahead, the feeling of unease only growing with her back turned to someone who had just yesterday expressed the intent to kill her in front of a crowd of people.
“That’s right. Eyes forward, faggot.”
She took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, Fubuki.”
She raised her eyebrow and tilted her head slightly, looking almost incensed by the apology.
“You’re what?”
“I’m sorry. For playing dirty. I should’ve just given up.”
She crossed her arms and spit on the ground.
“Whatever.”
Sora shrugged and the line moved up. Sora began to strip down, exposing her back again. It felt good to give the wounds a bit of air and room to breathe, especially after a few stitches broke in the scuffle. The girl ahead of her rinsed her hair and turned the water off then exited to dry off. Suddenly a strange feeling of dread washed over Sora’s whole body, an instinct that she was in danger. She knew Fubuki must still be mad at her, no question of it in fact. But she wouldn’t just attack her so openly, would she? She hesitated to place her clothes down as the feeling of unease grew.
“Well? What’s the hold up?” Fubuki asked “You’re keeping the line backed up. Get on with it or let me go first if you’re going to be such a big baby over the cold water.”
She said nothing and went into the shower, put the faucet on, and started washing the sweat from her body. She turned a bit to get a proper angle at her back without upsetting her wounds, feeling relief as the cool water ran down her back and cleaned any blood that occasionally seeped from her. With her back turned, Fubuki gave a subtle nod to Moona and she tip-toed forth, gathering Sora’s clothing and sneaking out of the barracks with it. She suppressed a smile as she walked over to Sora’s bunk for the next stage of their plan. Three minutes came and went and Sora shut off the faucet as Fubuki began to disrobe for her turn at the shower.
“Wh-where are my clothes?!” she asked, turning to Fubuki with an accusatory look
“Don’t look at me. I haven’t moved from this spot the whole time.”
“And you didn’t see anything?” Sora asked, folding an arm over her chest and covering her privates with her hand
“I didn’t.”
Sora growled at her and walked over to her bunk to retrieve a spare set of clothes from her footlocker. She pushed the key in only to find it wouldn’t turn no matter how hard she tried. She began to panic and look around for any ideas as Fubuki came out of the shower with a small towel around her neck.
“Look… since you apologized to me… I guess I can loan my clothes to you. But don’t tell anybody and make sure to give them back at the end of the day.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Sora said
They walked over to her bunk and Fubuki handed her a new pair of fatigues, unable to contain a smile.
“It’s my pleasure~”
She quickly pulled the clothes over her body, enjoying the feeling of having her modesty protected once again. As she went to the door of the barracks, she suddenly felt itchy. Incredibly itchy. She scratched and scratched only for it to get worse the more she did. Fubuki lit a cigarette, admiring her work as it unfolded. She and Moona had gathered a specific plant while on patrol that morning. It was a close cousin of poison ivy, only the oils of this plant had an added punch.
Sora ripped off her clothes, itching ferociously. As she looked down at her body, she found herself covered in red blisters. The cadets had finally begun to take notice, laughing and giggling at her plight while Civia ran over to her with a pair of her fatigues.
“Careful Civia, you might catch something from her. Looks like she has a real nasty STD.” Fubuki chuckled snidely. She had made sure to rub extra on the area where her genitals would make contact.
“Fubuki, you bitch.” Civia snapped “Here, Sora. Go take a shower first to wash off whatever was in those clothes then put these on.”
Everyone began to laugh as Sora’s entire body exploded with blisters, giving her the appearance of someone with an STI.
“That’s right whore! Go wash off your stink!” Fubuki laughed
Civia went chest to chest with her.
“You know you’re not going to get away with this, right?”
She leaned over her, getting in her face.
“Oh, yeah? What proof do you have that I had anything to do with this? I was just minding my own business.”
The two locked eye to eye and suddenly the door flew open. Botan entered, pushing an afraid looking Moona along with her.
“What the hell is going on here?” she said in an angry tone “Someone want to explain to me why Moona was carrying Sora’s uniform out to the flagpole?”
Everyone went quiet, even Civia. She knew she couldn’t just accuse Fubuki, especially as her role looked more like help than harm.
“Nobody knows? Nobody?” Botan asked “Don’t worry. Me and Noel will figure it out. Until then…”
She shoved Moona forward, crossing her arms and glaring out across the barracks.
“I’m grabbing the MPs. Stealing for another cadet is a serious offense. I can work out how to get you off the hook if you fess up to who else helped you.”
Moona remained silent.
“I see. Well, fear not. We’ll figure it out one way or another.”
Moona walked back to Sora’s bunk and put back her key, taking her own that she’d switched out. Sora exited the shower, covered in horrible sores, and weakly pulled her clothes back on as tears ran down her face. Botan immediately rushed over to her.
“Are you alright? What happened?”
Sora kept her mouth shut, fearing an even worse reprisal if she spoke up. Botan, however, was wise to it.
“I see… come on. Let’s go the garrison.”
The two walked out to the front of the academy, Botan’s hand clenched in a tight fist. Promise picked up on the angry energy surrounding her rider, rearing up slightly in anxiety. Once at the hitch, she turned to Sora.
“Fubuki?”
Her eyes flicked to the side, looking down at the street.
“I see…” Botan said, trying to conceal her anger “I’ll… be discrete.”
“Please don’t do anything crazy.” she begged
“I won’t.” she assured her, unlatching the reins “But I can’t let her keep tormenting you, Sora. This was way too far. I’m just going to do enough to get her to leave you be. I promise.”
Promise let out a pleased winy, causing Sora to let out a giggle. Botan smiled and gave Promise a light pat.
“That’s my girl. A little comedian, isn’t she?”
“Yes.” she sniffled, wiping her eyes “I’m sorry…”
“Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong.” she said “Let’s head to the garrison. We can pick up some reading there. Plus… Suisei got some nice tea.”
Sora’s eyebrow raised.
“Some nice tea?”
“She loves tea. I mean we all love tea, but she makes it a point to get an exotic tea every few months or so. This one was shipped all the way from the New World, took over six months to get here. The tea leaves are said to only grow there so it’ll be a taste nothing can compare to.”
Sora smiled and nodded.
“That’s incredible. Let’s go.”
Botan put one foot in the stirrups and mounted Promise, pulling Sora into the saddle with her.
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” she said, giving a light crack of the reins “have you been preparing for the O-SAT?”
“The what?”
Botan giggled. It was all too typical of her.
“The Officer Specialization Assessment Test. O-SAT.” she said “This is the first of two tests that get you ready to graduate. If this were a civilian academy, you would call it a midterm. It’s extremely important you do well on it.”
Sora felt sick to her stomach. It all came back to her at once. Civia had been studying day and night for the past week in preparation for it while she had been pushing it off due to her lack of reading ability. She felt sick to her stomach. It was difficult to come back from if you failed it.
“Don’t panic. I’ll help you through it. For now, let’s just get you something calming.”
Promise trotted along down to the cavalry garrison and they both dismounted, entering into the small, cozy mess hall. There, Suisei had already begun to unbox the wooden crate that had just been sent up from the harbor directly to her doorstep. Inside were three rows of teabags, each containing ground magenta-colored leaves.
“Ah, I see Sora’s back for another- oh!” Suisei said shocked
“Don’t ask.” Botan said “Don’t worry, it’s not what it looks like. Just a horrible prank…”
“I’m so sorry… Sora would you like some tea? This is what’s called Velvet Tea. It grows on Isla Velvet, an island all the way across the ocean. It has this really pretty purple color. The kettle is almost done heating.”
Sora sniffled and nodded.
“Yes, please…”
Suisei nodded sympathetically, walking into the kitchen and coming back with three white teacups full of piping hot water. She gave each a teabag and let them soak while Sora watched the water slowly turn light purple. Botan blew softly against the tea and gave it a sip, letting a relaxed, pleasant look fall across her face.
“That’s so delicious.”
Suisei joined her, giving a similar look of pleasure.
“It is. Such a shame it only grows on one island across the entire ocean.”
“How bad was the price?”
Suisei let out a long “ugh” and put her hand to her face.
“Between the distance, the shipping, the port tax, the state tax, and the merchant tax, it was nearly my entire month’s pay for just this box.”
Both she and Sora looked shocked.
“Why did you buy it if it put you back so far?”
She shrugged and took another sip.
“No idea. I just wanted something exotic. I bought it just because I could.”
“I’ll make sure to enjoy it then.” Sora chimed in “Thank you so much.”
Suisei smiled at her and leaned back a bit.
“Anytime, Sora. Especially after the day you’ve had.”
Sora finally took her first sip of tea, delighting in what graced her tongue. It was smooth with a very noticeable tang as it traveled down the back of her throat. The taste almost reminded her of a slingshot.
“If it’s ok to ask… where’s the captain?”
Botan quickly put her hand over her mouth to stifle a chuckle and Suisei rolled her eyes.
“In her room.” she said “Severely hung over.”
“You should’ve seen her this morning.” Botan giggled “Hair a mess, deep eyebags, she could barely speak coherently. Even told Suisei to shut the hell up when she asked if she was ok.”
Finally, Suisei’s official demeanor cracked a bit and allowed some laughter to sneak out.
“All after she told us to moderate our drinking.”
“How’d you fair after the fight anyway?” Botan asked “I sort of got lost in the partying after we finished up in the medical ward.”
Sora smiled a bit, remembering the kiss.
“I mostly hung out with Civia. We drank some. I got… drunk.” she said, slightly embarrassed
“No shame in that, we all did.”
They table went silent for a while as they all enjoyed their tea.
“I was wondering something… what got both of you to join the cavalry, anyway?”
Botan and the Lieutenant looked at each other for a brief moment and turned back to Sora.
“Well… after I came back from my first deployment I was offered to specialize and the cavalry had an opening. I figured the horses would be cool so I did.”
“Your first…? I thought you’d only completed one, Botan.”
“Oh! It’s not what you’re imagining. My first deployment wasn’t to a battleline. It was as an MP as part of a small battalion Namjjong Island for eight months. Very quiet, extremely boring; it was safer than here. Then I joined the cavalry, got deployed to the Northern Line for six months. Came back, decided to stay at with the garrison. I was deployed only a month ahead of the Lieutenant here.”
“That’s right, though we were rank and file back then. We only got officer roles when we came back. I joined for pretty much the same reason as the Warrant Officer. I thought it looked cool.” she giggled
“What’s it like up there in the Northern Line? I heard it’s… wild.”
The tension in the air picked up immediately and both of them looked down at their half-finished tea at the exact same time.
“I’m sorry… that was insensitive, wasn’t it?”
“It… is wild. We fought more tribals than we did N’s. Mean bastards.” Botan explained “They were usually under-equipped which you’d think would give us the clear advantage, but they were dangerously crafty. Constant ambushes, night raids, attempts to poison our drinking supply… it’s a bad situation up there. I’d guess that even when we make peace with Nijisanji, they’ll still need us up there to quell those tribes.”
Suisei’s hand gripped the cup tighter and Sora could almost see the reflection of her memories upon her iris.
“I’m going to go put the dishes away. Would you like me to take your teacup, Sora?”
“Yes please, if that’s alright. And… sorry for bringing that up.”
“It’s alright. I was a curious cadet once as well. But… well… never mind.”
She collected the plates and went into the small kitchen alcove, leaving an awkward silence in her wake. Botan nudged her.
“Want to do some horse riding today?”
Sora smiled and nodded.
“Yes, please.”
Botan led her out into the stables and led Promise out onto the track. She pointed to a light chestnut bay at the far end.
“Alright. I want you to ride your own this time. That one over there is A-Chan. She’s extremely mild-mannered and the perfect horse for beginners.”
Sora looked at her with shock and trepidation. Her? Ride alone? The last time she did that she got thrown so high she nearly crested the tree line!
“Are… you sure…?”
“Of course, I am. It’s far easier than you think. Go on. Now, to lead her out, all you have to do is take her reins and gently pull her along. I’ll help you with the saddle, it can be a bit tricky at first.”
Sora anxiously approached the gate to the stable slot and opened the latch. A-chan looked calm, swishing her tail to brush flies away as she lightly ran her right hoof against the ground a few times. She gripped the reins and gently pulled, surprised at how easily this horse allowed a complete stranger to guide her. Botan tied Promise’s reins to the hitching post and walked to the side of the stable where she grabbed a brown leather saddle in both hands.
“Alright. This takes a bit of practice but once you get used to it, you can do it with your eyes closed.” she said, placing the saddle atop the horse’s back “Now watch closely.”
She took the harness and tied it beneath the horse’s belly, making sure it was loose enough not to pinch, then adjusted the stirrups. After that, she ensured that the horn was screwed on properly and the saddlebags were secure. Sora looked lost just moments after Botan had started the process and she put a gentle hand on the young girl’s shoulder.
“It’s confusing at first but believe me when I say it’s something that becomes easier than eating in time. Alright then, mount up.”
Sora put her foot in the stirrup and grabbed the horn for support, pulling herself up into the saddle with surprising ease. Her newfound strength continued to surprise her. Everything was so effortless now. She took the reins in her hands and, after Botan mounted Promise, they began to trot out the gates. Sora looked out onto the great wall of mountains that separated them from the enemy, a quiet scene that seemed to betray no signs of war. It all seemed so distant as to not exist at all.
“Where are we headed?” Sora asked
“A small little grape orchard. The locals know me well and sometimes give me some grapes.” she smiled “The season is just ending so I imagine they have some extra.”
They walked along a dirt path, making a right into a long series of farms. At the foot of one, she could see two MP’s waiting impatiently as boxes were hurriedly brought out for collection. Botan got a sordid look on her face.
“What are they doing?”
“Imposing the levy. A necessary part of war, but one that is always difficult to watch. It’s why I stopped being an MP and went to specialize. Collecting state levy is one of the worst parts of the entire job.”
One of the MP’s inspected the box of grain and became angry. He took out his baton and threatened the man. All she could make out were the words the whole order by tomorrow or else. It was like watching a mob shakedown. They went further on until reaching the grape farm that Botan had spoken of and Sora pulled her shirt over her nose to hide the blisters across her face. Botan looked at her with a sympathetic frown and dismounted her horse.
“Wait here, I’ll go see if they have any grapes they can spare us.”
Sora nodded, tugging the A-chan to the side so her back was facing the farmhouse, and pulled her shirt back down. Botan strolled down the large grape orchard, looking out at a great many trees who had by then lost the majority of their crop to be contained and processed for consumption. The orchard was always so peaceful and reminded her of the warm summer days of adolesence. The ranch hands had just finished their workday and were beginning the process of picking the last of the grapes for what would be the rest of the season. Her boots crunched against the fallen leaves and the bad grapes as she finally found herself at the front door of the small homestead, giving it a light knock. The door opened to reveal an older couple who immediately became delighted at their unannounced visitor.
“Botan! Oh, it’s been too long!” the old woman said “Please, do come in. We were just wrapping up for the day.”
“I’d love to, but it’ll have to wait for next time. I’m teaching a new subordinate how to ride a horse properly. I was wondering if you had any grapes left for me.” she said with a wink
She nodded and went inside to fetch the fruit while Botan reached into her pocket, handing the older man a large sum of cash, far more than the going rate for a small bushel of fruit. The woman returned with a small basket filled with light green and red grapes.
“Here you go, Miss Botan. And please do come back to chat next time. It’s been too long since we got to speak together.”
“Next time I’ll make it a point to have a long chat with you.” Botan said, tipping her cap “I’ll be off. Have a good one.”
Botan returned to Promise, taking a few grapes in her hand and feeding them to her. She broke of a branch containing six round fruits and handed it to Sora.
“You can feed a couple to A-chan there. Horse’s love grapes as much as us, we just have to keep it in moderation.”
Sora plucked one from the branch and held it forward to A-chan’s mouth, feeling the disgusting sloshing of horse tongue against her palm.
“Who were those two?”
“Old friends. Before I took up military service, when I was still in my youth, I’d volunteer at the orchard whenever I had free time. They’re the sweetest little couple. When I’m feeling down and out, they remind me that there is still good in the world.” she looked at her with a smile “Same way you do.”
Sora went pink and looked down at her saddle with a giddy look.
“Th-thanks.”
“Let’s go out into the field over there and ride a bit.” Botan said, sticking another grape in her mouth “Hopefully with a lot less bucking this time.”
Sora giggled and nodded.
“Yes. That sounds like fun.”
In the late hours of the evening, when all had gone to bed, AZKi stood at the tracks and waited for the next train back to the city. She clutched her ticket tightly in her hands as she stared down the train line as far as her eyes could see. She still had over a week and some days left of leave, yet she wanted nothing more than to return to the safety of the academy. Home was just too sad. Suddenly, the priest she had been talking to early that morning approached her.
“AZKi?” he asked in shock “I never expected to find you here at this hour.”
“Neither did I…” she mumbled
“Are you heading back already?”
She bit her lip, almost as though confessing to something.
“Yes…”
The priest took a seat with his bag over his lap.
“What about you? Why are you out here in the middle of the night?”
“I’ve been called back to serve.”
“You… have…? But I thought you retired. The draft wouldn’t hit you twice.”
“I did… but your talk with me this morning reminded me of how many people are in need of spiritual guidance. Unfortunately, your story is all too common. But if I can help even one soldier find his way back into the arms of the gods, I will have succeeded.”
She looked down at her feet. Here this aging priest was, expressing the bravery of a lion so that he could help others while she sought to run away from those who needed her now more than ever just to soothe her own sorrows. She sat down beside the priest, overwhelming guilt filling her every corner.
“Father… can I ask for guidance?”
“Of course you can, my child.” he said in a paternal, loving tone “What can I help you with?”
“What do I do? I mean… all I want to do is run… run far, far away from home so I don’t have to deal with IRyS’s passing… I know my family needs me right now but…” she shut her eyes tight and her lip began to quiver “I am so scared and sad… How do you do it? You go through so many funerals a day; you’ve seen so many deaths in war… how could you possibly return to all of that?”
“My faith guides me. When my faith fails me, my commitments to others carry me. The world of the divine is sometimes far and difficult to access which is why I remember that I have those around me I can physically touch and guide. It is true, I have seen so much death in my life.” he stared up at the stars and smiled “But I have guided so many down a better path. I have comforted those in their dying moments who otherwise would’ve been alone, frightened, and in pain. What brings me back is knowing that those who are alive can still be saved.”
AZKi gripped her pantlegs tightly. It felt like she was a coward surrounded by the courageous and the bold. What right had she to be serving when she was so ready to run from duty? If she couldn’t stand by her family when they needed her most, how could she ever hope to stand by the soldiers she would command? The priest gently put a hand on her shoulder.
“Don’t take this to mean that it erases the fear entirely. I am still terrified. For all I know, I could meet a bullet on the first deployment to a battleline. But I have faith the gods will see me through and I have faith that I am here to guide those like you along the good path. Do you feel that way?”
“I… I don’t know…” she said, frustrated
“You should really consider religious service, AZKi. Being a military chaplain is a noble, respected career and I believe you would excel so highly at it. You would do me and your parents proud, but, moreover, you would be helping more people than you could imagine. Military service can be more than just firing a rifle down range.” he said “Remember the story I told you about the tin?”
“Of course… that was incredible.”
“It was. And it wasn’t the first time something like that has happened. Even when men are dying and there is no hope in saving them, having someone there to guide and comfort them is as helpful a venture as defending your squad from gunfire. Sometimes even just being around the fire with soldiers who are scared and traumatized is enough to bring hope to an entire company.”
“You say it so easily. Like it’s so simple.”
“It is, AZKi.” he explained “I work no magic. I am simply armed with the good book and an empathetic disposition. At times, simply being friendly is enough to help.”
The train began to pull into the station and the father stood up with a smile.
“Take care, AZKi. Whatever you decide, know that I believe in you. I will be saying prayers for you each and every day.”
He stepped onto the train and with a whistle, it vanished into the night.