How...how this had come to happen wasn’t a mystery to Francis, but that didn’t make it any less confusing as fuck. What he’d figured out he really needed was just...to get out of the fucking space head. Between all the shit with James, whom he still hadn’t spoken to, Bobbi, Clint, Clints, and just the general bullshit that came with the place, he just needed to get out. Maybe not away but...out. Their whole life had been a series of on the go encounters and trying to suddenly adjust to sitting still? Francis just...he wasn’t taking to it very well. About the only things that felt like they were going right at all were...well...his job and…

Well there were other things. He was getting on alright with this Barry dude, but even that kind of annoyed him. He felt like he was fucking needy. He felt like...he didn’t even know. Meeting people was fucking impossible, at least when he actually gave a shit about it. His Mom was fucking upset that he’d been drinking so much and...he just didn’t know what else to do. Getting loaded, at least since he’d had to stay with them, had been the only fucking way he’d been able to manage any of it. He needed to numb himself out, to stop being so...he just needed to get out. To get the fuck away.

He hated it, but it was probably better for everyone if he did. All he’d done, by trying to do right, trying to stay out of everyone’s way -- because nobody needed to deal with his shit -- was make things worse. Obviously someone had gone to that fucking Jean lady and told her he needed someone to talk to -- Clint was his guess -- and that had gone fucking sideways in a hurry. His Mom had tried to bribe him when she’d promised not to play games, and Clint had tried to get him to talk. That said nothing of the night at Starlins where Torunn had…

 All of it, from his perspective, had been a massive fuck up. All he’d done was make people worry about him, when everyone had better shit to do than that. He was used to being on his own, he’d fucking told everyone that, and it was better for them if he was. Worrying about him, putting him first? Francis was all too fucking well aware what happened to people who did that and he just...he couldn’t. He couldn’t fucking handle it and he couldn’t fucking get drunk -- if only because it was obvious his Mom didn’t want him to -- and he just.

It was better if he left.

He knew it would never stick if he tried to just vanish. Between his Dad the Avenger, who always seemed to be hovering just out of sight, his other Dad, who seemed to be less functional than anyone except James, his Mom who evidently kept way better tabs on him than he thought, and seemingly everyone else they knew...he knew he’d never be able to just sidestep them. As big as fucking the space head was, they had eyes everywhere it seemed. Or they’d message him on the stupid tablet. Or they’d…

No, he needed to go. At least for a day.

Francis hadn’t been entirely sure where to go, even as he’d gone and signed up for his passport and tried to get the money exchanged into whatever the fuck they used down there. New York seemed like the obvious choice since, at least there, he had some kind of sense of where he was going and what he was doing. Even if all the landmarks he knew had been ash and ruins in his time, he could still at least guess about where he was there. Besides, when he’d gone with Clint about the Christmas lights (which he frankly really liked but would never admit) he’d been smart enough to grab a map.

He’d finally settled on the Bronx Zoo and had just finished finalizing his travel plans when Torunn had come in.

He shouldn’t have been surprised, any more than he was about how she had insisted she was coming. It wasn’t like Francis protested, or even would have if she hadn’t been so herself that he knew there was no budging her on it. Even if he hadn’t wanted her to go, and if he hadn’t he certainly would have done more than roll his eyes and offer up a mock groan when it came to trading in his currency, he knew there simply wasn’t any recourse to stop her. She’d just fill out her own passport request, say she wasn’t going with him, and do exactly as she damn well pleased because that was just what Torunn did.

Honestly he was more than glad she was there no sooner than they’d shown up on Earth though. He honestly didn’t know what he’d been thinking. It wasn’t a hard leap in logic to figure out that he hadn’t been, or at least not about the number of people that would probably be at a zoo. Or that he’d have to read signs and figure out how to actually get in to the place. That whole process, like so many things in his life right now, was a clusterfuck -- and it said absolutely nothing of the fact that he had no idea when they’d actually gotten inside the gates.

Which probably explained why, for a few moments, Francis Barton looked completely lost and confused before he turned his gaze over to the blonde at his side. He hadn’t even realized how closely he was hovering to her, hadn’t realized how that was such a fountain of comfort for him while his senses adjusted to the buzz and bustle of the place. Or at least he didn’t until he suddenly had, and then he’d just awkwardly looked around for some sense of direction. In the end, it turned into a boon because he was able to spot a small kiosk that was clearly handing out maps of the place. From there it was a quick jog, snatching one up before moving back to her side and unfurling the thing as nonchalantly as he could muster.

“Alright Smashguardian, you wanted to come along…” He opened it up all the way and held it out in front of her. “So you pick where we go first.”

There was basically nothing that Torunn wanted less than to go to Earth. Actually, going to Earth was second only on her list of things she didn’t want right now to Thor showing up - because that was, quite literally, the last thing she needed right now. Things were traumatic enough without some other version of her Father showing up and just making her mess an even bigger mess and she just, that would have been so much worse. Earth was an idea she hated but the moment she’d seen Francis go in to talk to Pepper - because she was lurking, which to be fair was her job and so entirely acceptable that she happened to be in the right place at the right time, there was no option other than to go into that room and loudly demand that he let her go with him. Not because Torunn wanted to go, no. She didn’t. The idea of Earth was like drinking sand to her. It tasted dry and coarse in her mouth as she spoke the words. The thought of all the blue, all of the green, the inevitable amount of vegetation… it was so off putting to the Asgardian that she’d been fully intending to never make a trip down to the planet but… if Francis was going to go, and he was going to go alone?

Well, Torunn couldn’t allow that. Not a chance. Francis was clearly at least as much of a mess as she was trying to hide that she had been and Francis, alone on Earth? That sounded like more trouble than she’d be comfortable with. It sounded like having to go down there and get him out of jail or something equally as ridiculous because he’d forgotten this Earth had laws or he’d gotten in a fight or something else and, well, Torunn was willing to bite the bullet of her disinterest in the planet to make sure Francis got there and back okay.

Actually, Torunn didn’t realize what she’d gotten herself into until they’d been standing out in front of the zoo and everything was blue or green or tolerable and… pleasant? Was that the right word? Pleasant shades of brown and all of a sudden… just standing there, with how secluded the zoo was in the middle of the city she… it was almost like being back in the dome. It was almost like being back there and not knowing anything else but that stupidly blue sky and the false atmosphere that she hadn’t realized was so stale until the first time she was actually outside of the dome since she’d been unceremoniously left there.

The zoo was like its own solitary little island - except, unlike the dome, it was full of living creatures.

It was enough to throw her off for a few minutes while they… sort of very awkwardly figured out how to pay and idled around the entrance.

And, as was becoming all too common and occurrence if you asked Torunn - suddenly she realized Francis wasn’t standing next to her and it startled her for a moment before, and there it was. His voice pulled her back from the moment of almost instant want to scurry off from standing there in the middle of the large concrete pathway.

Torunn gave Francis a frustrated little look and just about snatched the map from him, “I am only here to keep you out of trouble.” She said, looking over the large piece of paper - honestly, entirely overwhelmed by the options. Looking back up to Francis after a moment of well hidden frustration at not really knowing how to handle this situation, and that certainly meant more than just the incredible size of the zoo itself, she made a little face, “It looks as if it is basically a circle.” Taking one hand away from the map she tucked a bit of blonde hair (which had at least less braids in it than usual, though the two larger were present as always, she figured that was inconspicuous enough given from what she had seen from the other people from Earth at least) behind her ear, “Left appears to have a lot of monkeys and represents… Asia.” She knew that word, she wasn’t sure why, but she did. “To the right are something called buffalo and has other creatures from America.” She made corresponding little motions in either direction with her free hand.

“Excuse you?” He perked a brow up at her while he slid in a little closer, making sure he could properly get a good look at the map. “I’ll have you know I don’t get in trouble everywhere I go.” Because if she was going to make such a fuss about coming with him, he was going to be the usual pain in the ass she expected. Even if she wasn’t entirely wrong. “Besides, it’s not my fault people are assholes who need punching just about everywhere.” Which was his, more playful than not, deflection over the fact that it was his personality (if not his quick temper) that cause the trouble more often than not.

Still, here, now, looking at the map with Torunn, Francis could forget all that. Even the people were but a background hum as he peered at the various symbols, listening to her input because he frankly respected it and that was something he couldn’t say about many of the people he came across. Neither thing she talked about made a whole lot of sense to Francis and he was honestly just trying to base his decision on the pictures and symbols on the map. Which...that wasn’t very helpful either.

After a moment of obvious confusion and a minor frustration at being unable to decide he just shrugged.

“You still wanted to come, so you have to pick where we go first.” Which was exactly where he’d leave the decision. “We’ve got all day so we can just do the whole thing?” Which...that was a bold offer and even he knew that. The sheer number of people alone, even if looking over the map...with Torunn…made it easy to tune all that out? He knew it probably wouldn’t last. Then again, so long as they -- because now this wasn’t just about him -- could handle it, then doing the whole thing wouldn’t be that hard. Or he didn’t think so anyway. At least not physically.

That was it though, the physical demands of trekking through the zoo were easy. The emotional and mental ones, the fact that they were surrounded by a thing the likes of which at least Francis had never seen, those were more likely to be the real draining factors of the day. As it was, every last one of his senses felt raw and open, on edge. It was why, if anyone would venture too close, he’d shift subtly. Francis didn’t even realize he was doing it, using part of his body or an arm, to shield Torunn before he’d let his eyes return to the map and actually try and help her make up their respective plan for the day.

“It looks like there’s more stuff if we head toward the bison.” Because he’d very quickly sussed out what the shapes and structures were on the map.”Plus what the fuck is a Mouse House?”

Casually looking away from Francis and back to the map, Torunn did her best job to hide the way she was (in a moderately confused fashion) pursing her lips as she looked over everything, “Francis Barton, you know that is not true.” She answered him idly, her eyes still searching the map. “If I did not know better I might as well guess that your middle name was trouble. It follows you like some sort of pet.” The blonde fiddled with her hair again, eyes still on the map as she held back a frustrated sigh. She didn’t want to let on to how she was feeling right now, she didn’t want to be a downer in any sort of way for a break she very much knew that Francis needed. A little away time, do something normal because this was stupidly normal, at least from her understanding of what Earth had been like before everything. Things like going to museums and zoos and just be able to walk around. That, that alone was a novelty. The whole just… being able to walk around thing. Even in Knowhere it wasn’t that simple, the place was still chock full of criminals so you still had to be careful in a way that just… didn’t seem to apply to a version of Earth that seemed nothing short of whimsical in Torunn’s mind.

“I do not know.” She said, biting down on her lower lip and pulling it through her teeth with a light huff, “One would think there would be no want to have a whole house full of mice. I was under the impression that they are basically vermin and you do not want them around. So why would you want many of them in one place? It just seems like they would be wanted elsewhere, maybe to feed other animals.” Torunn had absolutely no concept of the fact that the idea of it was more about the type of animal, not mice specifically. All it made her think of were mice and rats - she wasn’t even aware that things like naked mole rats, or gerbils, or the large swath of hamster species existed. Had she been, she might have grasped the concept - as it was? All it made her think of was rats stealing food and that hardly seemed like something you would include in a place that was meant for entertainment.

Torunn just sort of, skipped entirely past Francis’ suggestion about the Bison, standing there still looking moderately confused at the map before she looked at him - another weird little look on her face (because, frankly, confused was not something normally in Torunn’s range of emotions, well, at least not this type of confused). “What is a monorail and why does it have all of these little animal pictures around it?” She didn’t really know why she’d asked Francis that question, as if somehow he was more likely to know what it was than she was, except that Clint seemed to actually give a damn about raising him right - whereas Tony seemed a hell of a lot more concerned with just keeping them secluded and naive.

She didn’t even leave him time to respond to her stupid question because she basically realized it was a stupid question all but immediately, because it wasn’t like things like… well any of this were common for either of them. Even if Francis had gotten… what, a year more than her of some really baseline experience with Earth before everything was a total hellhole, they were still far too little at that point to remember most things. As it was, Torunn was wracking her brain trying to think of what animals she’d even seen before. Besides rats, mice, vermin and things like that… a few birds and fish Tony kept in the dome… she’d seen a stray dog or two and of course Cosmo on that front… either way, she made up for her lack of experience by quickly tugging the map towards her and folding it up - taking a step forward to walk towards where the Bison were, looking back at him for just a moment to give his arm a fairly solid thwack with the map. “There are more trees that way, so we will go that way.”

It was an entirely stupid reasoning and not even necessarily true, it just seemed like the tree covering in that direction was a little thicker and she didn’t even know why that made her feel more comfortable than looping around to start over where the monorail and ‘Asia’ things were, but it did.

“Does not.” But he...this was normal. This...this was easy banter with Torunn and, in light of everything that had gone on between them since coming to Knowhere...well. “I just have a gift for finding trouble, then fixing it. That’s different.” He smirked at her, all cocksure and smug. He knew he was instigating, that he was being obstinate solely for the sake of being obstinate, but that was the kind of thing Torunn had to expect from him by now. The fact that Francis honestly believed it was true, that his gift was for stumbling into situation that needed handling? Well, near as he could tell from time spent with his parents, that may well have been a family thing.

It was still better to switch gears than it was to follow that train of thought any further. As...surprisingly well as things were going, that whole line of thinking was just awkward still.

“See, that’s what I thought.” He chimed emphatically. “Fucking mice were every kind of trouble. Used to get into our food all the time before I figured out how to keep them out.” And there was just the slightest hint of disdain there. In a fucked up way, he got it. They were doing the same thing he’d been doing, just trying to make sure there was enough food to survive. The problem was that, for every bit they got to survive, the less Francis had had for his people. Unfortunately, eventually, that had meant he’d needed to stop it. “Could be you’re right though.” He affirmed at the end of the thought. “Bet lots of stuff eat mice.”

Truthfully, he didn’t have the slightest idea, but Torunn’s suggestion seemed to make sense, so why not go with it? Largely Francis was already putting together that today was going to make sense only if they worked together to figure it out. This only added to the feeling he had where, as much as he hadn’t thought to invite her (he did, briefly, but assumed she would tell him no with her more than vocal distaste for Earth), he was glad she was there. If nothing else, she was someone he knew, understood, and trusted.

Even though she didn’t give him time to answer, it was clear to see Francis put thought behind what the question had been. His eyes flitted over the various symbols and the key that would explain them, danced over the various exhibits and names of, what he assumed, were animals, before his free hand dropped to his thigh to anxiously begin tapping against it while he tried to put the whole thing together and just...came up with nothing. He had an idea but the bottom line was that he assumed it was wrong -- which said more than he cared to admit about someone who had led a group of survivors, who had kept people alive by simply having to trust that he’d made the right decision, for most of his life.

Ultimately however, the thwack of the map was enough to snap him out of it and see him jogging a bit until he’d fallen into step with Torunn. Hands were stuffed into pockets, his index finger brushing against the scrap of fabric there that would see him calm slightly. “Good enough for me.” And it wasn’t even sarcastic. She’d made a decision, arguably the best decision there was to make, if only because it was a decision, and they were now on their way.

“Kind of don’t get what all the fuss about cities is about.” He added idly as they walked, keeping an easy pace while his eyes and his ears worked overtime on the surroundings. “About cities I mean.” Sure there was stuff in them but, as they graced the shade of trees with their walking, he just... “Seems like this kind of shit would be better than all the loud and the stink.” He shrugged, turning a glance over in her direction.

“Thanks though.” A pause, a light smile, forced as it might have been while his arm reached across to carefully slip himself around to her opposite side. There was another group of people coming and, whether he realized it or not, he was acting as a buffer for her. “For coming.” He’d finish the thought when they passed. “I totally could have managed to keep myself out of trouble, thank you very fucking much, but I didn’t really think about the number of people.”

Torunn laughed, rolling her eyes, “Fix things? Now, that is a funny one.” Coincidentally, that was probably the first time she’d laughed since they’d been in the bar. This was… nicer though, there wasn’t any awkward feeling that accompanied the way she looked over at him with an absolutely resolute look of disbelief at his claim. There was no way in hell she thought he thought she’d actually believe the statement, no way. They’d know each other way too long, fought too many fights (both the fun, playful sort and the dangerous, apocalyptic sort) together, and spent way too much time together for him to actually be delusional enough to believe that she believed his little claim. The thing was, saying that? It was so stupidly Francis Barton that she wasn’t sure if she was laughing more at the idea of it or the fact that him just being him was so damn amusing sometimes.

And there was that awkward feeling creeping up under her skin again, she trailed the laugh off almost immediately - trying to make it seem as casual as possible as she just sort of… let her eyes float around them at the tree covered pathway. For being in the middle of a city like New York… the zoo really was a sight to behold, even she could admit that.

“You know…” She slowly looked back over to Francis, “The reality is that we probably just do not know what could even be in there.” The statement wasn’t said with any sadness, just a stark sort of honesty that was going to be unavoidable… probably at more than a fair few points over their little outing. But, Torunn was conscious (incredibly so) of the place that a statement like that could go so she didn’t miss a beat to follow it up with something else, “That, or we get to make fun of the people who live on this Earth even more as they think that mice are to be so venerated as to deserve a whole exhibit all their own.”  She fiddled with the hair behind her ear again, it didn’t seem to want to stay there - it always got a bit too wild when it wasn’t totally braided and right now? Right now she was regretting having it in a much more simple style than usual, even if she had thought it would blend better in with the people around them - a few extra braids would have kept it  managed and probably not been too conspicuous.

Taking a few steps to get a little ahead of him, Torunn wandered up to the edge of the fence where the Bison were - a large field that seemed improbably placed knowing that they were in NYC, knowing the population of the city was a bigger number than she could really even conceive, even with their time on Knowhere - she leaned against the fence, just next to where a pair of signs explained the difference between Buffalo and Bison and explained some of the smaller animals like ducks and all that that might wander through their grazing area. She just sort of took it in for a moment before she looked back over her shoulder.

“We haven’t even been into the city.” Not really at least. Passports were convenient like that and it’d been good anyway - frankly, they probably would have gotten turned around and lost half a day if they couldn’t have appeared as directly where they wanted to as they had. The statement met his gaze with a little look on her face that was nothing shy of playful, teasing in the most gentle fashion of course. Torunn was fairly sure she couldn’t actually handle walking around New York itself. No, the zoo was a good… compromise. Still coming to the city, still seeing some of it, but not having to actually deal with the horror she could only imagine downtown where the majority of the tourists would be was.

When he started to thank her - Torunn turned her gaze back to the Bison. The fact that she’d noticed how Francis had been moving around, skittish wouldn’t have been a far off word - though neither would overprotective have been incorrect either, if the little moves of his arm here or there as they’d walked would have indicated. Ultimately, it was why she’d slipped ahead of him again, made her quick little skip over to the fence - to just stand there and not feel like she should thwap him again for what he was doing. “You should have asked.” She said, not really considering the implications of the statement as she watched a pair of bison almost have their snack interrupted by a squirrel who clearly must have had a death wish to risk startling such large creatures.

“Guess there’s only one way to find out?” The question was genuine, even if it was delivered with the sort of resignation that could only come from realizing just how out of their element they were. Maybe each of them, all the Avengers -- loathed as Francis was to ever apply that title to himself -- could roll with Raiders, Ultron, and the spoiled wasteland of an apocalypse, but this? This, the simple things to most people, things that were outings everyone on this planet probably took for granted here, this was what was out of their league. This what they had no basis for understanding really. “But, I’m telling you right now, if they think mice here are the best thing ever? I’m laughing until my sides hurt.” Francis didn’t even know what that expression really meant, but the statement was there nevertheless.

Following Torunn to the edge of the fence, Francis took up a position a few inches from where she’d posted up. He let his eyes follow where hers had gone, reading the sign first so that he could understand what they might see and honestly finding it more interesting than he thought he might. Animals he thought to himself, almost chuckling at the thought. I’m looking at fucking animals. Even Francis had to admit, it was probably a stupid thing to be enjoying so much.

“So. You might have been onto something.” He smirked over at her. “If you weren’t here I’d probably jump the fence and try to ride one.” He thought that was a thing people did. He’d seen conversations to that effect on the tablet and at least a couple tatters of magazines that seemed to suggest it before. He wasn’t at all serious of course, something she could no doubt tell and probably something that would earn him atleast a look from her. Maybe, just maybe, that was the point of it all; something to break the tension between being outside his element and how stupid it was that he was already enjoying himself.

“I’ve actually been here before.” Francis added seemingly out of nowhere. Having suddenly become aware of how distant they’d all been during their time here, Francis felt the knot of guilt twist up in his stomach. He never should have let that happen. “Clint, the first one, he brought me down here to get Christmas lights.” He didn’t even sound the least bit happy about that memory, not now. He’d even gone so far as to leave them behind in that apartment because… because. He’d tried, he’d really tried to let the roof over his head and the absence of the looming threat just...be okay. He’d tried to hold them all together and that...it still just….he’d made a mistake.

“You’re right though.” It was a surprisingly honest confession as his eyes zeroed in on that same sight. Maybe it was stupid but, looking at how tiny the thing was, the fact that it could get crushed, Francis thought it actually looked brave. Maybe that was where his sudden honesty came from. Maybe, if that tiny thing could wander among what must have been giants to it, then he could at least… “I should have asked you to come.” He didn’t look at her while he said, but that didn’t at all detract from how he meant it. “I just…”

There were a million and one ways he could have finished that sentence. He could have told her the truth, that he thought it was better that he stayed away, that he didn’t want to make it any worse for her than he already had. He could have said that he was worried she’d say no, even if he had asked. He could have said that he didn’t because he hoped that, by leaving, maybe their family could get back together. The latter couldn’t have possibly come out though, because it would have been an absolute lie.

“I thought you’d think it was stupid.” That was a piece of the truth at least, not a lie because he didn’t want to lie to her, but not the whole of the truth because there was no way to let that out without being too vulnerable for his own comfort.

“I do want to see everything.” She admitted. If Torunn was going to be here, be on Earth, and they were going to bother to wander around a zoo - she did want to do it properly, as much as that may have sounded a bit odd given her not so subtle and definitely not unknown feelings on the whole idea of the planet, if they were here… Torunn wasn’t of a mind to be a brat and waste the day or anything like that. Especially because she did think Francis could benefit from it. “If they worship mice here we are never coming back.” The sentence was said with another little look over her shoulder as he stood at the plaques, Francis apparently cared more to read things than Torunn did. To be fair, she was more of a hands on learner to begin with. It wasn’t as if Tony didn’t have books, he had plenty. But Torunn just never had that sort of attention span - she just preferred physical things. Sparring, practicing, being outside. Being idle, sitting around her bungalow… that had been James’ thing. The thought of how odd all of that seemed now, standing in the middle of a zoo in a perfectly functioning city was… well, it put a lot of things into perspective that she’d never really even considered before.

Once Francis settled up next to her, Torunn’s eyes zipped back to the animals in front of them. It was weird. Everything about this was weird - and she didn’t even realize what everything her brain was even registering under the thought. Watching animals graze like that, watching the bison just sort of slowly meander around for a minute or two - watching the squirrels dart around and the odd duck make its appearance from the little stream in the enclosure. Looking at such a solid swath of natural land, just… real trees and real air and real sky was all… very weird. It made her wonder how she’d ever fallen for the dome in the first place. Though she knew there was really no point in thinking about that, no point in it at all. That was just… so far behind her, so far behind and, there was no reason to even think about it. Not when she was looking out at a reasonably… realistically normal experience and even though she’d never say it outloud, the prospect of something so normal?

It was actually nice, though it made her at least a bit frustrated at the feeling.

Torunn had turned as if she was going to retort about his entirely idiotic idea about riding a bison - something she’d point out you did on a horse because, despite being pretty sure she only had vague memories of what a horse was from children’s books, she was fairly sure you didn’t ride a bison - then again, she could have been just as wrong as him, but it didn’t really matter because before she’d had a real chance to think up a little quip he’d mentioned coming down with Clint, something that made her tilt her head enough to causing blonde hair to tumble forward over her shoulder. “That is good.” She said, though there wasn’t really a smile or anything on her lips - it was an honest statement, “It is good you are spending time with him. He seems to mean very well.” It would be a lie to say Torunn wasn’t… at least a little upset that he hadn’t thought to tell her at any point but… to be fair? It wasn’t like she’d been around a lot. Torunn had made herself basically as scarce as she could manage up until that night at Starlin’s and after that? She’d still been fairly quiet, she just hadn’t disappeared again and at least Francis had known precisely where she was at that point. After that initial incident Torunn had just found it very hard to be around anyone, so pestering Francis and a few others on the network had been a lot easier than actually being around people, so Torunn knew that any reason to be upset was on her own shoulders, for not being… available.

Letting her eyes dart to the ground, still slightly turned towards Francis, Torunn laughed softly. “You are not wrong, I do think it is stupid.” She said, a little uptick in her voice - just a little bit of a joke, of sarcasm peppered in there as she took a single step away from the fence, one hand lingering on it for a moment before she gave his arm a little prod, “I wish to see these little things with the long tails that are after the…” She tried to remember the word as she stood there, just a step away, “...seal lions? Sea lions. It was something like that. They are outside just down the path and there is a building after them that has the little animals in it.” She was actually a little sure the picture might have been of a monkey, at least, she was pretty sure she knew what a monkey was? Maybe? Another little memory from images of children’s books and little stories that she barely remembered from when Tony used to tell them stories at night.

“Oh we’re not?” His light tease at the fact she was including him in her future plans wasn’t one Francis could pass up. “Making plans for the future with me huh?” It was a safe play, one he’d made many times over their working together, their….whatever it was...and it was far removed from the waves of tension that seemed to claim him from head to toe. That part was annoying, stupid was probably the better word for it honestly. He was Francis Barton, fucking Hawkeye, and he’d spent his whole life keeping people safe and dodging robots. The fact that he was feeling so damn jumpy around a bunch of humans when he had Torunn standing less than two feet away? It was dumber than dumb and was why Francis had taken the opportunity to jump on something else.

“We’ve got all day though. If you want to see it all, we can do that.” Because Torunn saying what she actually wanted in the moment? Francis wasn’t about to ignore that. It was the exact opposite of what he’d say about his time spent with Clint, because what the hell was there to say about that? He was trying but the hell if he knew what that meant or how it was going. It was fucking weird talking to them, talking about them. It was fucking weird that they weren’t even his parents, that only one of the men who could have been his Father had ever even been with the woman who could have been his Mother -- if he hadn’t fucking blown that relationship or if Bobbi had been --

He didn’t want to think about that right now. The whole fucking point of coming down here had been to not think about exactly that kind of bullshit.

“I thought cats fucking hated water? Why the hell would there be lions in the sea?” It wasn’t said shyly, or even quietly. His head was so cluttered with nonsense he wanted no part of that he was deflecting away from it without even realizing that’s what he was doing. He at least thought he remembered a joke being directed at Azari about his cat name and the water, but the memory was about on par with what a sea was for certain besides a lot of water that you couldn’t drink unless you did some work to it. That was about the only practical knowledge his Father had passed on to him about it because New York was at least close enough there that sometimes they’d make water runs together.

The little prod was enough to get him moving though, falling into step beside Torunn, hands stuffed in his pockets, while he let her lead the way. “Can go wherever you want.” He added, trying to shake his head out of the memory of his past and focus more on what was right in front of him...or more accurately off to his side. It was what had drawn him into a faint lean her way -- on Francis passed off as trying to get a look at the map again.

“After the sea lions, we should go see the birds.” Because, at the very least, he thought maybe he should see a hawk at some point in his life, given his name and all.

Torunn looked over her shoulder in a little huff, “I do not know what you are trying to insinuate, Francis.” She wasn’t even sure why she’d responded to even such a basic, not even unfamiliar, bit of sarcasm about her use of the word we’re, it was totally within the normal confines of their friendship, totally within the normal confines of the way the whole team interacted with each other. Even more so? It was totally par for the course for how Francis had always spoken to her. That sort of attitude, that sort of little playful jab. It was basically Francis’ purpose on the team so why in the hell Torunn took it more personally that time, she would just brush off on the stress of being on Earth coupled with them being in public where he should clearly keep that sort of joke to himself. In an attempt to quickly cover up her, frankly, out of line and absolutely irrational response to him, Torunn huffed again - a bit of purposeful playfulness to to, “Yes, we’ve got all day and I do want to see everything, so if you would start keeping up instead of being so slow.” She was just jumpy, that was it - just because they were do out of their element, it obviously had nothing to do with anything else, especially not their incredibly awkward night at Starlins.

A light laugh escaped Torunn’s lips at the mentions of cats hating water, “That is true, cats do not like water.” She wasn’t sure why she knew that, except that at some point when they were kids something had been said about it to Azari and they’d never let him forget it. She could remember Pym pushing him in the water a few times when they were playing hide-and-seek and she could remember it somehow just being a thing, though there was a sudden realization that it was weird she had no idea where it came from. Maybe Tony had made the joke first, one day when they’d all been swimming or something. Or maybe it had been from one of his stories? A book maybe? Maybe it had even been before that, maybe she’d known because of some memory from when she was even younger than that, a toddler being told about the ways of the world and all that. Either way, Torunn wasn’t really sure why she knew, she just did. “Maybe like the mice they are not being very accurate with their names or very truthful.” She added idly as Francis finally managed to step into line with her.

Very suddenly and very purposefully, Torunn smacked the map against Francis’ chest - holding it there for him to take. “Why would we do the birds first if there is another building, Mada--“ She made a flippant little movement with her free hand, “--whatever, right there. That is not a good tactical plan for getting to see everything Francis.” And there it was, something that was almost hilariously out of place in a zoo - Torunn using the words tactical plan in the middle of a place full of, primarily, fluffy animals. It was just another nod to how very out of place they were here, though at least this one? It was harmless, and even funny. Something she didn’t put together right away because, to the Asgardian, everything needed to be a tactical plan. How she reacted to people, the decisions she made, the decisions she held herself back from making - if Torunn had a say in it, everything was basically a tactical plan. Even the way she’d been dodging actually talking to Natalia. That was tactical. The way she’d avoided the docks and the barracks. Entirely tactical. She’d even came along to Earth for tactical reasons - Francis alone? With laws? That had nightmare written all over it.

Once they’d rounded the corner to get past where the Bison had been grazing, Torunn stopped for a moment - glancing around at the large fountain, all of the intact buildings, all of the perfectly upkept stairs and paths. Even the dome hadn’t been this nice - sure it had pathways and their bungalows, but everything was pretty simple except Tony’s part of the dome. The parts they hadn’t been allowed in until… “Does it say how old these buildings are?” She asked, cutting her thoughts off as she looked over to Francis - who now held the map.

“Nothing.” It was the same old song and dance it’d always been and, in no small amount, Francis was glad for it. He liked to pretend it didn’t mean anything when he’d tack that emphasis on the word, hell he liked to tell himself it didn’t but it always made him feel a little weird. Almost...well he didn’t really know, but it was weird. Like his stomach was all floaty or his heart didn’t work right for a second. It was stupid. It was stupid and he knew exactly what it was, which is why it was so comforting when Torunn shot it down so consistently. It made it easier to pretend, to convince himself, and to just go on with it like it was nothing more than some stupid glitch in his head or him convincing himself something was there that wasn’t. “I’ll work on that.” He added at the end in regards to his movement speed. “Just trying not to run into people.”

“Either way, I’ve got no clue what they are and there’s only one way to find out.” His shoulders shrugged absently under the weight of a feigned indifference. “Lions are supposed to be pretty loud and impressive too. Kings of the jungle -- ocean -- whatever.” He was just trying to throw whatever random facts into the space that he could remember, but he’d never really saved much room in his brain for things like that. He needed to remember where traps were, what the patrol schedule was, who needed what foods or medical supplies. Everything else just tended to fall by the wayside or get tucked into some dark corner of his mind where he’d rarely look. It would have been funny to him, just how much of it was coming back all at once...if it hadn’t been for everything else it was tied to.

At least Torunn was laughing. That was a nice change from how things had been.

The swat of the map, once again, pulled him out of his head. “Probably not.” He shrugged. “We’ll do Madawhatever first.” Which was actually said in a bit of a chipper tone. He was glad Torunn seemed to have a plan, because he sure as fuck didn’t. Everything was just...it was big was what it was. It was clean and it was untouched by the ravages that his world knew. It was full of people holding hands, pushing kids in strange contraptions on wheels -- which made him wonder why the fuck they weren’t just walking or even out at all? It obviously wasn’t safe to…

And that was when it struck him. People here didn’t think like he did. People here didn’t have to think like they did. They could walk around with hardly a fucking care beyond what animals they were on there way to see. He was...it would be hard to adjust to that kind of thinking but…

“I don’t know?” He pushed the map back at Torunn, trotting a few paces up ahead once she’d taken it back to look for herself. “But that sign says there’s a spot…” He looked around for a minute, watching the way people were moving and going to line up around the edge of the enclosure. “Right there.” He was already moving toward it too, an elbow stuck out with every intention of making sure there was room beside him as he nestled in to see just what all this was about. If they were going to see everything -- even if neither one of them had the slightest fucking clue what a sea lion was or what they might be about to see -- this seemed like the thing people around them were getting ready to do and Francis was, if nothing else, good at taking cues from his environment.

Torunn made another face at Francis as he shoved the map back at her - he was so unfailingly flighty and frustrating and he’d not even tried to answer her question, of course not. Why did he always have to be like that. Of course any sense would have not had her get frustrated by the fact that he was being so flighty, that he was just sort of jumping around because it was all so unfamiliar and over stimulating and exhausting to just be here and be taking this all in and be around all these people. Of course any sense would have no had her get frustrated because she knew that’s just how he was anyway, but sense would of had her realize that she was only frustrated with him so easily today, on such a hair trigger herself, because of a bad combination of James’ behaviour, the other night in Starlins, and her own aversion to just… how many people were here, out here in the sun and just walking around. Sure, Knowhere had a lot of people, it wasn’t short on populace, but Knowhere felt like a crowded version of what she was used to. This? This was just about as opposite of any semblance of Torunn’s normal that it didn’t matter if she, theoretically, knew what a zoo was and understood how this was actually normal, not the way they lived, that it stressed her out regardless.

The thought was easily pushed away, regardless, as she didn’t even bother to open the map and just sort of stood there for a moment, letting Francis wander off several yards away up the stairs to where there was a fairly decent amount of people lurking. They were all stood around where she could only assume the sea lions were. She followed after him slowly, not keeping any particularly immediate pace in keeping up. Once she got to a position where she sort of loomed behind the crowd, she gave the map a little once over. No answer to her question, at least, not the one about the buildings made of whatever fancy stone could stay so pristine with this many people out and about around them. It did answer her question about whether or not the birds or Madagascar were first. Definitely Madagasar, another question answered.

Once she figured as much out she nudged herself through a few people to stand behind Francis, putting her hand on his shoulder blade for a moment as she tried to peek around him - not really catching on to the fact that she could have just nudged his elbow out of the way. Probably just because she didn’t assume he’d do something like that for her, even though she should have - but it wasn’t like, despite being friends for so long and knowing each other so well, that she would have really had any reference for Francis’ more casual cues. Casual cues didn’t really fit into a lot of what the team did. Casual cues didn’t really have a place in an apocalypse. Downtime? Downtime was spent just getting the little sleep or little relaxation they could, and all that was few and far between.

“Those are not lions.” She said, tilting her head even more to the side as she tried to see past Francis - most other people around them were no problem for the tall blonde to see around, Francis just happened to be one of the few people who was actually taller than her, which didn’t precisely make it easy for her to actually watch the almost unnaturally smooth creature swim around its enclosure - a few others sitting up on the rocks, assumably, sunbathing.

While Torunn was hanging back, something that had Francis reflexively half-looking back over his shoulder, he continued forward. His steps were shorter, his posture tighter. There a lot of things, some (but not Francis) might have said too many things even. Francis? Francis would swear that he was fine, that he could handle all of this, and that there wasn’t anything anyone needed to be worried about. That was just how he was though. The simpler, more honest truth? This was fucking overwhelming as hell.

All Francis had intended to do was belly up to the edge of the inclosure and see just what was going on. Instantly feeling a sense of surprise wash over him at the creatures. They were nothing like what he’d expected at all and the small of their snacks, plus the conglomeration of squawking birds looking for scraps of...fish?...was much more than he’d anticipated. They way they moved, all flopping and barking at the air in excitement. The not so subtle symbolism to the way they would just flop down and sun themselves, seemingly looking exhausted after doing next to nothing, and just how all that related to some people he knew wasn’t lost on Francis.

He’d been just about to turn and comment to Torunn to that end, when suddenly and unexpectedly, there was a hand on his shoulder. However brief the touch was, it was enough to tense the muscles underneath it, leaving Francis ready to jerk away. The problem was that there was no way to jerk away to and the hand? When it drifted and he turned to see where it had come from, he instantly felt stupid. Of course it was Torunn. Who else would it have been? He let out a discreet sigh, sidestepping just a bit and dropping back a half step to leave Torunn in front. He was taller, it made sense she should be in front, it would make it easier for her to see the same as it would have on a battlefield.

“No they’re not.” And this, surprising as it might have been, sounded actually a bit chipper and excited. “They don’t mind the water at all.” He reached past her, slipping his arm in the space between them to point at the one that zipped about below the surface much more gracefully than it had on land moments prior. “Check that guy out. Wonder where’s he’s off to in such a hurry? Think he’s chasing imaginary dinner?” Because making up stories about things they knew nothing about was just as much a part of the Next Avengers life as anything else they’d done.

Which was entirely different than the subconscious and accidental way his arm rested against her back instead of letting it fall limply down against his side.

Torunn had subconsciously known not to let her hand linger, she hadn’t needed to feel that instantaneously tense reaction of Francis’ muscles to make her move her hand - she’d known it was a bad move to touch him unannounced and it didn’t hurt her feelings, it just made her… conscious that she’d even touched him. She was doing it again, for whatever reason, she didn’t really know what that was her instinct and it felt weird to her that it was. It actually gave her a bit of pause as she stood there. It was like the way she’d felt awkward in Starlins, she didn’t really necessarily understand anything these days and she was brushing it off on that. Everything was just.... everything was so different and she just didn’t totally understand how to contemplate how those emotions even registered and how they mingled with new opportunities and change of scenery and it was all just… well, Torunn was still actively battling some hefty amounts of residual confusion.

It probably didn’t help that she’d caught that sigh either.

Her eyes watched carefully as Francis nudged out of the way, she didn’t necessarily realize what he was doing at first and her posture when a little stoic when it hit her. He didn’t have to do that, she could pretty much see from behind him, he wasn’t so much taller than her that it was obnoxious or anything, just enough taller that she did have to do a bit of a look around to see past him. It wasn’t as if she was short, like everyone else on the team except Az who was the only other one she could consider reasonably sized. Pym and James? Basically may as well have been child sized, if you asked Torunn. Then again, an Asgardian probably wasn’t the best metric for how tall some normal human should be.

Even if it took her a moment, Torunn did make a little move to slip in front of Francis, leaning against the edge of the enclosure. It dawned on the Asgardian that she couldn’t remember a time since they’d left the dome she’d actually seen water that pristine. It was so odd, almost as odd as the way the ‘sea lion’ glided through the water, seemingly lacking a care in the world despite being stuck in its little inclosure.

When Francis asked his question, Torunn leaned back against his hand gently, turning just slightly enough to be just shy of tucked up under his arm. The closeness made her anxious, the closeness made her have to choke back her want to gulp. Somehow she managed to pull it off as if she didn’t even notice that they were that close, that not a thing about if phased her. In reality? It shook her again, but not for any reason she would have assumed, but because it had been so comfortable to her that Torunn hadn’t even really realized he’d put his hand on her back until she’d made her little turn and it’d become obvious.

“Maybe he is just teasing the birds.” She said, curiously tilting her head as she stood there - not sure if she should try and slip away from him or not - the thought made her nervously tap her fingers against the railing along the edge of the enclosure.

Francis wouldn’t have been all that surprised if she’d just ignored it or hadn’t seen it, it wasn’t like he really knew how he was giving cues was supposed to work nor would it have been all that out of character to ignore him. Not too far down the list was the fact that she might elbow him, shove him, or yell at him. He wasn’t even sure which he would have preferred right up until she’d stepped up in front of him. On one hand she could see the sea lions, which had been the whole point. On the other hand they were suddenly very close and then there wasn’t really anywhere to go and there wasn’t even any way to playfully shove her. This was a terrible plan, a terrible, terrible, plan.

So wrapped up in all that, in the tightness of the crowd and the performance of the animals, that Francis didn’t even notice his hand on her back or the way she’d all but tucked herself underneath it while he was pressing just that much further forward to get a better look at them. It was good really. If Francis had caught it, if he’d not been so distracted about what to do and what was going on in front of him? There was a not at all unreasonable possibility that he would have jumped right into the water with the sea lions. At least that would have been less awkward, even if it would have entirely justified the argument Torunn had made when she’d told him he couldn’t be trusted not to do something stupid.

Or was that what he was doing right now? Or what? And why did the wind have to blow like that just then? Why was her hair tickling his nose and --

“The hell’d the birds do?” And that was when he saw it. There were lots of people holding small little white -- whatevers. It was much more interesting to look at what was in them. Weird, slimy looking, and very much dead, fish. There were more than a few groups who’d begun to toss them in here and there, each one being greeted by the loud squawk of the not-lions of the sea. This almost made Francis chuckle until he saw one of the birds swoop in and snatch one of the fish out of the air, keeping the sleek beast from getting the snack it so very obviously had been expecting.

“Wow. What an asshole.” Francis didn’t even miss a beat, though there was a strange kind of mirth instead of the usual sort of bite it would have. Francis never would have said it out loud, but he was actually having a good time. Why wouldn’t he say that out loud? What the fuck was wrong with that? Why was this so fucking frustrating? What the hell was wrong with his pulse? “That’s like stealing the last piece of pizza when someone’s already reaching for it. I think -- is it weird there’s so much food?” Why the fuck was he talking so much? What the hell was --

“You want to feed ‘em? I can get you some fish.”

The fact that Francis didn’t even react to how close they were, didn’t pull away, didn’t move at all made Torunn more nervous. She didn’t know why, or well, that was a lie. As much as as Torunn liked to pretend she didn’t know a lot of things, she knew why it made her more nervous. Because Francis not pulling away? That wasn’t simple. It was the opposite of simple and it was the opposite of everything she’d sworn to herself for years and now she was scrambling to find another excuse hidden in the recesses of her mind and she wasn’t sure if she could find something. Maybe she could, yes. There it was. It was just because he needed grounding with this many people around. That was it, that was all. That was the only reason he hadn’t pulled away, that was the only reason she found herself still half tucked up under Francis arm, gently leaned against him as she continued to drum her fingers nervously against the railing that people could hold onto around the enclosure.

Torunn needed to stop being nervous, she desperately needed to stop being nervous but that would have required pushing Francis away - something she also, desperately at a level she wouldn’t admit to, didn’t want to do. Torunn was actually fairly sure she’d never felt this nervous in her life - definitely something caused by the outstandingly intimate nature of the way she was standing with Francis (something totally foreign in idea to her) and the, well, everything else. Really, it was entirely rational that she was so nervous, at least, probably except for the Francis thing - but she’d never been totally rational about that so… why start now?

“I believe it would appear the birds are being --” She looked away from Francis, back to the enclosure but she didn’t change her position, she didn’t move her body even a millimeter because she had no idea how to do it, no idea where to move to. She should have just sleekly pulled away, tried to drag him off to Madagascar (whatever that was) and not stood there like this, no way out of an ultimately nerve wracking situation. “-- they are stealing the not actually lions of the seas’ food.” She brought her hand up off of the railing and pointed to the bird who had just snatched one of the small fishes. She felt like she’d seen fish like that before, sardines maybe? Was that what they had been called? It was maybe that, except these were bigger. A good double or triple the size of the weird little fish she’d seen in a tin one time.

Turning her head back to Francis, she titled it slightly to the side, “Why would I want to reward the birds more for being mean to the sea lions?” She questioned, not entirely grasping the concept, frankly. Mostly the fish seemed smelly and like a game for the birds and sea lions to play together. The idea of feeding animals was just… well it was basically above Torunn’s level of comprehension. Unlike Francis, not that she was aware of this fact, she’d never so much as had a goldfish as a pet, the idea that an animal could be fed for fun or amusement was totally outside of her cultural referencing abilities.

“Sure as fuck what it looks like.” Because it didn’t occur to Francis to censor himself, not here, not when his brain was so preoccupied. “But I wasn’t talking about the birds.” Eyes remained glued forward, Any even subtle shift, any even light turn in Torunn’s direction, and the thin strands holding together his composure threatened to entirely unravel. He reach out with his unobstructed hand, still not quite fully grasping why the other was obstructed, to point at one of the fatter, not lions who seemed to be bellowing in their general direction. “Not talking about that guy either. Looks like he eats plenty.” Francis looked down the line of people, seeing more and more people with little baskets of fish and even more break away from the group to run over to the small stand where, presumably, the fish were being purchased from.

Suddenly it struck him. If he went to get her fish, he could --

“Just wait here. I’ll get some.” And he didn’t even wait for her to respond. Maybe he should have, maybe he should have thought through that this was going to be another frustrating example of needing to use money, since the fish were behind the counter it wasn’t like he could just help himself and -- fuck. He was already halfway there, committed to the idea, when the stress surrounding his plan hit him in the stomach. What the hell was he thinking? What the fuck was wrong with him? He wasn’t even acting like himself, or was he? Was this all in his head? It had to be. It was just because this world was clean and he didn’t have to hide and because there people and animals with fucking lies for names. It was just that it was new and it was fucking weird and…

“How many?” The words, delivered strangely and gruffly from the bored looking kid, he couldn’t have been -- why the fuck was he even looking? Suddenly aware of being out of sorts, Francis just shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets before he looked up at the sign, trying to decipher just how much of his money this was going to set them back. Not them. Him. There wasn’t a them -- or there was, but it was tied to all the -- an what the fuck was --

The sharp whistle pulled him out of his thoughts. “Dude. Holding up the line. How many?” Francis just set his jaw and held up two fingers, looking back over his shoulder to check on -- why was he checking on her? She was an Asgardian. She could have taken on every single person standing here and probably not even broken a sweat. Another grunt as the man, boy, dude, came back and set the fish on the counter, explaining to Francis the costs and muttering rudely about tourists when he took the appropriate amount of money from the pile of it Francis set on the counter. Asshole he might have been, but Francis at least had the good fortune not to get ripped off -- not that he even knew it.

The breakaway hadn’t been what he thought it would be and, in fact, it had almost been more of the opposite. All the people he had to dodge, all the weaving and pressing and touching he had to do...it was exhausting trying to keep all that off the surface of his exterior, to try and look like everything in the world was just fine. If he hadn’t had his hands so full of fish, he might have reached into the pocket and grabbed the collar again but, considering the circumstances, it was arguably for the best that the subconscious action was quite literally out of his reach at the moment.

It’d take him another second to worm his way back into the group, crowd, clusterfuck of people, and back to Torunn’s side. Now things were feeling even tighter, like they were packed in like proverbial sardines these fish frankly smelled better than. Now he didn’t have a choice but to bring his arm right back up w here it had been if he wanted to stand beside her again. Now he had to think about it as he squeezed himself in, reaching up and over her shoulder to put the container of fish in front of her where she could take it. He even uncomfortably reached across with his other arm to hold the second out next to it -- they were both for her anyway, he’d just hold them -- before giving her a nod.

“Betcha the bird grabs the first one you throw.” Because if Francis had figured out anything over the years, it was the challenging Torunn was often the best way to to get her to actually do something.

If Torunn had had any sort of normal socialization as a child or teenager she probably would have chided Francis for saying fuckwithin the ear shot of so many children, as it was? James and Francis had such mouths on them that there was no real way for her to have any concept that it was probably very, very inappropriate for him to talk that way where they were, at least as long as they were in such a large crowd. As it was? Torunn’s socialization? Well it basically was her siblings and Francis so there was really no way for her to gauge that that was totally inappropriate. Not that he really even gave her a moment to consider it, given how fast he seemed to scurry off at the idea of getting some fish to feed the sea lions with - the concept of which pretty much hit her as he slipped away, her hand raising up as if she was going to say something, but he was gone too quick for her to actually manage it.

The Asgardian felt overwhelmingly awkward standing there by herself. Actually, that was the first time it really dawned on her how much she relied on the presence of her brothers or Francis to feel comfortable in most situations. Knowhere was rough and tumble enough and with plenty of room for her to just fly off whenever she was uncomfortable that she never really felt like this there and it wasn’t like she had any alone time back in their universe and so standing there awkwardly by herself, well, that nervous tapping turned into a not so subtle almost too strong grip on the railing and she pressed herself against the enclosure, just sort of trying to steady herself and focus on the amusingly rotund sea lion who seemed the most keen to torture all the birds.

Some child brushed past Torunn and it startled her enough that she very quickly had to make sure that she didn’t actually do any damage to the railing. If she hadn’t been conscious enough to catch the way her hand moved? That would have been not the best course of action. Asgardian strength and a jumpy emotional state definitely didn’t go well together in unfamiliar territory, in a place where she was so out of her element.

Thankfully, even if Francis seemed to take forever, he did return after a few minutes. For which Torunn was far more relieved than she’d ever admit.

What didn’t relieve her as much? The immediate shift in the type of nervousness, in the way it felt in her stomach when Francis (who she knew it was before he even spoke, not only because who would just sort of hand a stranger fish, but because she was fairly used to the way the archer loomed, he had a sense about him she recognized and the realization of that definitely only made her stomach twist more) reached around her. Taking one of the containers she prodded at a few of the dead fish - they were a lot less smelly than she’d expected, a lot less slimy too. She’d never seen a fish like that though, the very few she’d seen had either been badly canned sardines or colourful things in children’s books. These just… sort of seemed generic? She didn’t really know why they seemed generic, but that was the only way her brain could reconcile her thoughts on it.

Looking up rather quickly, “I am not going to let the bird take any of the fish. That bird is being very rude.” She said, a bit pointedly as she took one fish between her fingers - examining it basically in the way you’d expect a child would. But to be fair? A lot of these things were things most children were exposed to, so it was… a reasonable moment of regression there. Trying to place something she should have first seen a good fifteen years ago, instead of in this moment. Little momentary examination done, she tossed the fish forward - knowing full and well if the sea lion didn’t manage to get it she would never hear that end of it.

Much like Torunn, Francis was perplexed and curious about the fish. He didn’t touch one, didn’t even try despite one of his hands being free, but instead just looked at the one she was holding. He let his eyes settle on its shape, it’s color, the fact that it didn’t look as slimy or as gross as he’d expected. It made him feel kind of stupid for not looking at the fish in the first place, for not examining them on his way back so he’d be well...less like a fish out of water -- which was suddenly an expression he had a whole new understanding of and not one he liked at all.

“Well?” His tone practically put his hands on his hips for him, which was good because he couldn’t quite have managed it at the moment anyway. His expression was every kind of smug about it too, knowing well how he could goad her into something that could serve well as a distraction for them both. “Going to throw it or what?” He thought about making some joke about food, but even for Francis that felt rude.

Before he’d even had a chance to think of something different she’d tossed the thing too. Francis watched it go sailing through the air a bit, watched a bird swoop in its direction. If he’d packed his bow -- which why hadn’t he packed his bow? -- he would have sniped the thing out of the air. As it was, the bird missed his pass at the fish and the thing splashed down into the water to get snatched up by one of the smaller lions.

“Close.” He gave the basket of fish a bit of a shake at her. “Bet you’ll get the next one.” He took his free hand and gave a point down at the small one as he circled back around, excited barking up at Torunn and...it made him smile. The thing swam in several tight circles before poking its head back up and barking again. It reminded him of...of something he didn’t really want to think about...of something that would indeed draw his free hand subconsciously into his pocket for a moment, something that wound his stomach up into a tight and uncomfortable knot.

Something that would have him just flat out walking away if this had been any other situation, if he’d been here with any other person. As it was, Francis felt his gaze sink. He watched the thing just swim and bark at him before he reached for his own fish. He didn’t say anything, at least not at first, but instead just idly flopped the thing forward, making it an easy catch for the little guy down below, who snatched it out of the air and swam off looking...well...happy.

That...that was a mixed bag of emotions is what that was and Francis swallowed the thick and uncomfortable knot in his throat before he pointed at another one who seemed more than interested in them now.

“How about that guy?”

Once Francis shook the little basket of fish, Torunn nudged her elbow back and gave him a solid jab to the side of his stomach. Turning around a moment late she gave him an almost playful little glare, “You are worse than that bird. You are very rude Francis Barton.” There was an odd bit of seriousness in her voice, she didn’t really know where it came from because (frankly) this was an entirely light hearted moment. Something so simple and all together normal and there was no reason for her to give him any sort of serious look or serious sounding response. She was tossing fish, from a basket, at superiorly poorly named animals. It was sort of stupid - but then again, Torunn’s emotions were just all over the place.

The sound of the barking managed to catch her attention and force an unplanned little smile to fall on her lips as she turned back away from Francis, leaning forward against the railing a bit more enthusiastically as she looked down at the sea lion circling just a few feet away. The barking was really endearing and not at all the sound she’d expected to come from the animals. It was really quite interesting and it fascinated Torunn in a way she wasn’t sure she’d known was possible before. It made her intensely curious about the little animals - not that they were actually that little, but most things were little to her in her mind unless they were quite large, like elephant sized (which was a reference she didn’t totally understand but came to mind, another stupid children’s book memory no doubt).

Rolling her eyes at Francis’ continued commentary, she gave his shin a little gentle kick with her foot as she continued to lean forward - plucking another fish out of the basket and reaching out, dangling it for a moment as the smaller sea lion continued to bark up at her. She honestly couldn’t help but smile at the whole exchange, even if she hadn’t meant to be made so intensely and randomly happy by something so almost childish and entirely simple, Torunn was really taken with these little creatures and their nonsensical physiology and sound.

Teasing the sea lion for a moment, Torunn glanced around for birds before tossing it out to him - having to hold back a little laugh with a well placed bite of her lower lip as the little thing quickly chomped up the fish and gave the water a little splash.

There was an overdramatic ‘oof’ at her elbow, something more pronounced than at all was needed. It was all part of the game really, a piece of a familiar history that Francis was keeping one foot in to make sure he didn’t totally lose himself in the moment. It was important, he knew that, even the strange and hard to place seriousness in her tone seemed to underline that. He’d joke, she’d play serious. If it hadn’t been for the fact that they were throwing fish to stupidly named animals -- they should have been called sea dogs maybe -- this could have been at least some semblance of a normal moment. If they hadn’t been standing there, surrounded by people, in a zoo of all places, on an Earth that was destroyed by Ultron…

“Where do you think the name comes from? We’re all just rude.” He clearly wasn’t talking about Francis, but rather the title he’d inherited from his Father. He didn’t mean it, not really, but it was an easy deflection, a side-step around the swimming thoughts in his head that drove his free hand back into his pocket as he watched the thing back and felt the kick to his shin.

And it was then that he saw her smile. Torunn, miss serious and stuffy unless she was blushing, was smiling and dangling a fish. She could kick him all she wanted for a moment like that one. He didn’t really know how to process that as a thought, didn’t know how to pin down the feeling, but what he couldn’t do more than anything else? He couldn’t deny it was there. He couldn’t deny he knew it as well as he knew how to pull back the string on his bow.

“See? Not so hard is it?” Because he couldn’t help but tease, because if he’d done anything else it probably would have spoiled the moment and, even if he’d said nothing and just stood there, he selfishly couldn’t let himself not be a part of it. He didn’t know why he wanted to really, didn’t know what made him open his mouth to say anything, let alone something that was so stupid. But then. “Think you can go two for three? Which one’s next?” Because if she kept feeding them, they’d keep barking and, if they kept barking, well there was a very good chance she’d keep right on smiling.

She could kick him or shove him or make faces at him all she wanted and he’d stick by what he’d said: It was worth it if she kept doing that.

Torunn couldn’t help but roll her eyes again, always so dramatic. Why did Francis always have to be so dramatic. See, this it… it was precisely why Torunn had to be the way she was. It wasn’t just because of Francis, it was all of them. Stupid boys. The thought flashed through her mind, the smile dulling a bit as she just entirely ignored him and tossed another fish forward. Stupid boys. Every last one of them. James was… well, her mind skipped right past them. It had to skip past Pym and Azari too because… well, she didn’t want to think about them not being here except that maybe it was for the better? With everything so fractured, everything so weird, as much as Knowhere was definitely an upgrade physically from home… could she really wish they were here if that meant putting them through the stress of all the infighting? All the… whatever was going on. All the confusing parents. Neither of Pym’s was here. One… one version of whom she was pretty sure but had no way to confirm might have been Azari’s Mother was here…

It was the weather thing, but she’d never say that outloud. No, that would stayed locked up tight because she wasn’t even sure if James remembered that much. It was just a little hint, another of those childhood memories mixed with Az’s own powers and it was enough to make her curious but…

“That is idiotic, Francis.” She said in a bit of a huff. She knew he meant Hawkeye, stupid name as it was. She wasn’t even sure why any of them bothered with codenames back home, it wasn’t like it made a bit of difference. Maybe it kept them feeling connected to something Torunn had never…

She cut her thoughts off again, consciously forcing the little smile back onto her lips as she took another fish. Plucked it from the basket and turned just slightly - the smile wasn’t nearly as genuine, because it wasn’t entirely genuine of course… There wasn’t enough space to actually get a good throw but, that didn’t actually stop Torunn and no sooner than she’d turned around did a little fish hit Francis squarely on the left cheek before the Asgardian immediately turned around, grabbing another one and casually shrugging the moment off, “I believe that is three for three.” She said simply, looking around for another sea lion to feed.

There were an impossible number of things that could have happened in that moment. Being called some form of stupid? Francis had absolutely expected that. It was Torunn’s default to a lot of things and, in a lot of cases, Francis couldn’t even say he disagreed with her. Most things were stupid, things people said, did, and even he couldn’t deny he was just as guilty of it. He didn’t know why he did things, he didn’t know why he deflected so hard, why he fell into reflexive patterns as easily as he did, despite the fact it got him the very opposite of what he even had an idea he wanted, and that was decidedly stupid.

But it was still, often times, better than dealing with the reality of it all.

What Francis couldn’t really ever have expected, though he probably should have, was the cold, wet, slap of the fish against his face. More accurately, he didn’t expect the way he laughed about it and what she’d said that followed. He didn’t even miss a beat though, catching the fish as it started to fall from to the Earth below and tossing it up in the air and watching it spin a few times before...well…

Francis did his very best impression of a Sea Lion, right down to the clapping of his hands, which decidedly and pointedly would snatch the fish out of the air, leaving Francis to absently, and seemingly without even trying, toss the thing right over his shoulder and into the mouth of one of the waiting sea dogs.

“Call it four-for-three.”

Why in the hell did the way he responded make Torunn’s chest tighten again? She wasn’t even watching Francis make an ass out of himself, which was really to be expected, but somehow how he was acting made her nervous anyway? The way he mimicked the sea lions, that casual toss of a fish that went right past her and into the mouth of the chubbier specimen who had been lurking when they’d first walked up. Torunn had no explanation for such a feeling, no context for it except… well, no that was stupid. No, that wasn’t what it felt like. She wouldn’t even dare to think of the memory that flashed in her mind at that moment because it was flat out, unashamedly insane. It was stupid. It wasn’t something she was even going to acknowledge. No way. No how. Not now. Not ever. Or, that was what she was going to keep repeating to herself as the smile faded from her lips and she tossed the fish currently in her hand into the water without even looking to see if a sea lion was there - it didn’t matter, with how quickly it got snatched up there was no real room left to think about how it might have looked sloppy. How it’d been a bad cover. How an action like that in their world, something so thoughtless and casual would…

“It is impossible to take you anywhere.” She half-mumbled as she plucked another fish from the basket, it was just about empty now - but she was of no mind to waste the few that were left. “You are acting like an idiot.” Her chest was still tight and it felt wrong to chide him for having a little fun. It felt wrong to chide him for acting so… free? Was that the right word? Unburdened? Happy? Torunn felt awful that her instinct was to turn back off, shut her amusement down, flip the switch into an Asgardian front that she had no real concept of where it came from, not in total at least. Were they really just… that unsuited for doing normal things? The thought was brief, fleeting, and she would have denied ever even having it.

They were perfectly capable of normal action.

It just happened to make her… anxious.

Not really thinking, her next action didn’t really make sense either. Torunn turned around fully - bringing the basket of fish with her, only two nestled in it as she held it up closer to Francis face. Her back was leaned against the railing and she just sort of looked up at him and gave the basket a little shake. Torunn was too anxious for words, she felt ashamed that she couldn’t find them. It was the crowd. She repeated to herself It was the buildings that should have been ruins. She repeated to herself. It was anything but a familiar feeling she couldn’t describe. She admitted in a back corner of her mind she wasn’t even aware of.

“You paid for them, but I have done most of the throwing.” She said, nonchalant as ever.

“Is not.” Francis rebuttaled without missing a beat. “Besides you’re the one who wanted to come.” Which, even with her serious and suddenly stiff tone, there wasn’t the faintest complaint in his voice. He was glad she was here, for more reasons than he knew and absolutely more than he’d admit, but all of them were at the root as to why he was acting like he did now. Aloof was far easier to be than suddenly focused on….well...anything. “Besides, you always say that, even when I know full damn well I’m being hilarious.”

Aloof as he might have wanted to be, it was hard for him not to dial in on Torunn. It should have made him uncomfortable to lock his eyes on her like that. It did, but all that was entirely drowned out by the fact that focusing on her, on keeping his eyes laid on her and the sea lions, meant that Francis could tune out the rest of the world around him. It was rule one of being an archer really, you focused on what you wanted to hit, you tuned out all the noise and the clutter, you put your pinpoint gaze on the bullseyes until you hit it.

...Maybe that was a terribly analogy to use in the presence of the blonde, but there it was all the same.

“That was the point.” Another hair’s width between the end of what she said and his reply. “I got them for you to feed ‘em, not me.” He shook his own basket at her in return, but still reached his free hand into it. “If it makes you feel better though…” He shrugged idly, twisting his fingers to flip one absently to a waiting lion with hardly a glance past her face. “I’ll help you finish ‘em off so we can get moving on to Madawhatever?” And it was an entirely genuine, not at all sarcastic, offer.

“It is true and you know that. You are impossible, Francis Barton.” Rolling her eyes, Torunn huffed softly, “Do I need to tell you the reason I forced you to allow me to come along with you?” She had been entirely serious about that reason being her primary objective here (you know, keeping Hawkeye out of trouble, which seemed to be something she was learning might be genetically impossible), basically up until she’d seen the sea lions. Now was that something Torunn was going to admit to? No, not a chance. There was no way Torunn was anywhere near ready enough to admit that she was… well, this was fun.

This was too much fun.

She kept having these moments where she felt like she was actually truly enjoying herself and everyone, thus far at least, was met with the instinct to just shut that down. The instinct that if she let herself enjoy herself too much, if she let herself… if she let herself get used to the idea of relaxation or of things being normal in an actually normal way and not in their sense of the word - well, maybe she’d get too used to it and that would be quite bad. Getting used to that? She knew where that lead to, it lead to letting her guard down and no one on the team - present or not - could afford that. If Torunn let her guard down it might get one of them hurt or in trouble and it was just second nature to her, in that way, to not even necessarily be conscious of that either (there was, frankly, a lot of that with Torunn - so much of her that was just completely something she refused to recognize the how or why of because that too, meant letting at least part of her guard down or implied she might have been willing to work to change that).

Keeping that guard up right now? It was proving to be more difficult than she could have ever anticipated.

Torunn didn’t shy away from the way his eyes hit her own, though it definitely didn’t help the way her chest felt. Damn him. Flitted through her mind before she shoved away any other thought on the matter entirely, turning herself back around with a little roll of her eyes - leaving any comment on how aloof and careless he was with the way he tossed the singular fish to herself. She was in no mind to so easily give him ammo for a snarky comeback that would only send her scrambling to find her own again. That wasn’t going to make her chest feel better. It wasn’t going to relieve the pressure, granted, still standing in such close proximity to him probably wasn’t going to do that either, but that wasn’t something she was going to let linger in her mind either.

“Madagascar.” She repeated, a rather amused tone in her voice as she plucked the last fish from her basket - holding it between her fingers for a good minute before she looked around and rather purposefully tossed it in the direction of three seagulls who had positioned themselves on one of the rocks along the outer edge of the enclosure. The least she could do was give the birds a little fun fighting over the fish together.

“Tch.” Francis balked, but he couldn’t bring himself to say any of the words he actually thought about it. He didn’t even know how to begin to say it even if he wanted to -- which he certainly did not. He could have pointed out that she didn’t have to come with him, but that ranked highest on the list of things he didn’t want to say. Honestly this would have been way too overwhelming if he hadn’t had someone here and, though Francis would never admit it, he was quite keenly aware he’d bit off more than he could chew on this one. He probably wouldn’t have even made it past the gate before he’d just turned around and found somewhere to sit and watch people…

He was glad that wasn’t happening. He was glad to be at the zoo and...he was glad she was here.

Now it was his turn to get that weird, stiff, feeling in his muscles. Almost all of them. It was sudden it was awkward. All of the sudden Francis couldn’t figure out where to settle his gaze. The Sea dogs, the fish, even the annoying fucking birds. Somewhere, anywhere, and why was she being so quiet? Why was he being so quiet? He should have had something to say. He should have had some kind of retort or snappy thing...he shouldn’t have just scoffed at her and -- fuck. Now he was just anxious and wanted to swear and just fucking, fuck, fuck.

Why wasn’t she saying something to him? Why was she just...he should just focus on the fish. Yeah. That was his plan. It was at least something, though it would only leave him looking more confused. However, what he hadn’t at all been expecting was the way the birds all took to it, squawking and flapping and fighting over the thing. It held the whole of his attention while it went on too, leaving his gaze to finally drop back to Torunn.

“Still call it three for three.” Because he...what the hell was wrong with him? Francis just stuffed his hands into his pockets before turning a shoulder into the crowd and using his size to make a hole they could pass through. The whole thing just gave him time to think, to process, to try and adjust himself to push through this suddenly weird and impossible to place problem that was just annoying. It only seemed to get a little worse when he literally had to put his shoulder forward. Finally though, he seemed to come out the other side of it and he found a gap where he could pause, letting Torunn fall into step beside him so he could look over at her.

“So what’s the map say’s in Madagascar?” He put an absolutely unnecessary amount of stress on the correct pronunciation, getting even more annoyed with himself for that part of it too.

Torun hadn’t actually realized she’d just not said anything for a bit there until she felt the stiff creep up on the situation. If one thing could be said about the Asgardian, it was that she didn’t miss a lot - she picked up on things, they just… didn’t always register. A change in posture in Francis? The way he shoved his hands in his pockets? The… why.

Why had that happened so suddenly.

It was always the why that seemed to escape her and she was entirely confused (which was, frankly, stupid if anyone was to be honest about the situation - of course, neither her nor he would be) about the sudden change from enjoyment to seemingly wanting to fuck off on the whole situation. She hadn’t realized he had gotten quiet either, not until he was half an arm’s length away from her and already starting to push through the crowd and she made a quick motion of following after him. The absolute last situation she wanted to be in right now was alone in this zoo all by herself and with no one to keep her steady and no one to joke with and no one to distract her so that it could actually just… feel normal.

There was no way this could have felt normal on her own. Had she been here alone? Her version of handling it wouldn’t have been much different than his. She may have made it through one or two exhibits, purely by forcing herself to do it, then she would have found herself feeling entirely lost and just… sat upon a bench somewhere along one of the pathways and just… she would have just sat there. She might have gotten food eventually, but the majority of the day would have been wasted on feeling totally overwhelmed and of course that was why it concerned her so much that he seemingly had a sudden change in mood because she didn’t want him to go passporting back off the Knowhere. She wanted to see the monkeys and she knew he wanted to see the birds and she was still very curious about why in the world the mice needed their own building…

His little quip about three for three hadn’t even really dawned on her as she just quickly followed after him, pushing through the crowd behind him. The little bit of thrown off she was, thankfully, didn’t show in the way she pulled the map out and partially unfolded it - only as much as she needed to be able to give him an answer, “Lemurs and foosa.” She answered, the tiniest hints of concern in her voice that she’d somehow not been able to avoid. The hints of concern she tried to immediately cover up with a follow up statement. “I believe lemurs are monkeys.” She stated rather factually as she stepped into step with Francis.

“Well then let’s go see the monkeys.” At least that was easy. Why though, the why was ever elusive. He told himself it was because she had a plan, because it was a good plan, because if they followed it they’d get to see everything and what the hell was the point of this stupid -- no, this trip wasn’t stupid and she was not at all going to let himself think of it this way. This was some time off Knowhere and, even if the trip had originally been for him, even if he was now realizing how stupid his original plan had been, he’d shifted that focus. Now he was here for Torunn, to walk with her through the zoo and let her see the animals. He told himself she was enjoying it, told himself she was having a good time…

Francis told himself that was all that mattered.

The fact that it was a short walk to Madagascar was helpful. Almost as helpful as -- well, it was just -- and he was hovering. He was hovering much closer than he realized. He kept looking at her too, mostly out of the corner of his eye, checking on her was how he sold it, falling back into those patterns of reflexively being a half step ahead of her when people got too close, shielding her in a way that was entirely unnecessary and not even something he was entirely conscious he was doing as they approached the large structure and its various points of entry. That alone would see his eyes tick, making observations about how things went, what people were doing, and he did his best to mirror it, taking hold of the door and pulling it open before making room for Torunn to step past him inside.

It was tactical, he told himself. He was letting her move into the front position while he took up a post at the rear guard. Secondarily, he accepted that this should be something like the Sea dogs -- because he was never going to buy into the lie and call them lions -- had been. She was shorter, even if not by much, and she would get a better view. It secondarily he could keep her from getting crowded and lastly he’d be able to look over her shoulder. It had nothing to do with being close to her. Of course it didn’t. She wouldn’t have wanted that anyway and it was a stupid thing to think about. Besides, neither one of them needed that right? Damn right they didn’t.  

Still, Francis made a point to keep his wits about him, examining the place more than was probably necessary, checking high vantages and getting the lay of their new environment not at all unlike how a new creature might have when it was first dropped off here. He kept himself close to Torunn though, a quarter beside her and three quarters just behind her right shoulder, until they’d closed enough distance to get a look at the creatures and the signs which would explain to them which was which.

“Lemurs have good color choices.” Because of course he was partial to the black and white colorings that practically mirrored the design of his jacket. And it was at least something to say that hopefully wasn’t so stupid.

Brightly coloured eyes darted out from her her blonde hair, watching Francis intently. She could see what he was doing but, unlike most things, Torunn actually consciously was fairly sure he didn’t even realize he was doing it. The way he was walking, the way he was positioning himself. There was something about the way Francis moved that made it… all too clear to Torunn that maybe normal wasn’t going to actually be possible to pull off. As much as she was intensely enjoying all of this, whether it was such a nice change, even more nice than Knowhere - regardless of whether or not it managed to be a strange sort of nice. Part of Torunn wanted to give his arm a solid whack, knock him into his senses, get him to realize there wasn’t a damn thing on this stupid planet with its stupid blue sky and its crystal blue water in that Sea ‘Lion’ enclosure. This stupid planet with all of its stupid green. And there it was again, even Torunn could see it a mile away - she was projecting. She was projecting her feelings about everything else on to thinking Francis was being stupid. Which, to be fair, it was probably a mixture of both. Thinking he needed to protect her here, that was probably at least a bit naive, overprotective (for whatever reason he would think to be overprotective of her, her mind wouldn’t even let her think of). But it was definitely also the way she was internalizing a lot of… personal bias towards Earth as an idea. Even their version of Earth as an idea.

Everything here seemed so… old? How did it seem so old? Even the marble of the building they were about to walk into - a stark contrast to the decidedly new looking displays and signs around it that showed off some of the more prominent animals it housed. Madagascar. Torunn repeated the word to herself a few times, it felt foreign on her tongue but she had no doubt had she ever actually seen a map of ‘their’ Earth that… this probably existed there too.

It just… it just probably had less animals now. Or maybe not… Ultron hadn’t managed to take over everything, they’d always heard intel that there were pockets here or there and sometimes she’d wondered about how they were doing when they had a little down time but… Ultron City needed so much protection, with everything Ultron had collected over the years it was… an overwhelming problem with the blackouts.

If they ever got back there? Torunn was of a mind to just burn the whole thing down to the damn ground. Be done with it. Get on with their lives. Screw the raiders. Screw having to stay in one place to keep everyone else safe. They needed to rebuild. But no, no, she shouldn’t even think about that. If they were lucky? If they managed to be lucky? They’d get to live out a nice long time here in just…

Calm.

Once they were inside Torunn felt the rush of the air conditioning, it was weird. Air conditioning was still something she was getting used to. It wasn’t totally unheard of in Knowhere and they… well they’d had it in their bungalows in the dome but… that seemed like it was so long ago and after 5 years of basically permanent camping? The rush of the feeling of climate control was still a bit of a shock to her.

Following Francis up to the first exhibit that was inside the high-vaulted building. There was just something… old about the architecture. It made Torunn very curious but no sooner had she started to stare at the way the marble ceiling was designed had Francis spoken and drawn her attention right back to him. Taking a step and closing any distance between them she leaned over the sign, looking down at it and then at the two moderately sized monkeys sitting in a tree in front of them - it looked like a mother and maybe its child, she couldn’t be quite sure, having not seen monkeys before in person and definitely in nothing more than a cartoonish style drawing. “It says those are Sifakas, Francis.” She corrected him.

Air conditioning is fucking weird.

What the fuck is the point of a building in this shape?

He might have found it funny just how much their thoughts were mirroring one another’s own, if he hadn’t been simply so focused on them to avoid everything else. The amount of people, the fact that everything was strange and out of any real or relatable sorts, the fact that he was apparently wrong? All of this, combined with the unnamable and impossible to decipher feeling of just boldly strange, left Francis entirely out of sorts. Really, though it was the most minor and reasonable of the reasons, it was the being wrong that seemed to bother him the most. It snapped his eyes down to the signs leaving him to consider scanning them for the facts, only to find that frustrated him even more and he just stuffed his hands back into his pockets again.

“Sifakas then.” He shrugged, feigning a sense of indifference. He didn’t need to be right, didn’t really care if he was right. What he cared about was...complicated. It was complicated and he didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t know how to think about it. He wanted to, there was even some very small part of him that was always working it over, always trying to sort out the mess of things inside him, but there just wasn’t a way. Francis simply didn’t have the tools or even the skills to improvise them.

Hence why he just stood there, watching the Lemur-Sifakas-whatever the fuck they were called, scamper over rocks and trees. He honed in on one in particular. He watched it slip through branches and find a perch. He thought for a moment maybe that it was watching them. He canted his head at it slightly. Sweeping his gaze back across the lot of them in the enclosure and then back to the one on in the tree. Then back to another, the whole while not realizing that he was shifting closer to her, his mind turning over everything over and over again and leaving Francis seeking the one comfort he couldn’t deny no matter how hard his conscious mind seemed to reject its very existence.

“Hell of a way to to move though.”  Because that at least was a mild boast, because that was something he could do and they both move it.

The way Francis just took being corrected probably would have thrown Torunn off in any other situation. In any other situation she would have given him a solid jab to the side with her elbow and she would have questioned him about what was wrong. Why was he not arguing with her. Why was he being so placid. Why was he just accepting that she was right. Any of the boys just accepting she was right, except for Azari, was a foreign idea to her.

Now here she was, just stuck in the circular motion of whys again - this was only the second time she’d seen Francis since everything happened and it was the second time she’d found herself standing here questioning everything, trying not to look distracted, trying not to let anything show on her face. Torunn needed to not let it seem like anything was running through her head, nothing at all. The Asgardian had a commitment to being a center of strength to everyone around her, some sort of pillar that was never affected by anything. A center point of still that could be relied upon even when James got up to something absolutely ill advised or Francis was in a particularly stand-offish mood to the rest of them or Pym and Azari were running around having far more fun than Torunn thought anyone should be capable of in their situation. “Sifakas.” She repeated, not even realizing she’d done it as she just…

Watched. Torunn just watched them move around, other exhibits and monkeys caught her eye in her peripheral - the ones in the exhibit in front of them were larger. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t able to tell which ones were adults or younger, actually no, that made no sense at all. It was just that… honestly she didn’t even know what she was looking at aside from… okay they were pretty cute. Something about the way their tails twitched around was just precious. Torunn wasn’t even really sure where her idea of what was or wasn’t precious came from but, whatever it might have actually meant - it was suddenly attached to the way these monkeys hopped around and picked at each other’s hair.

Torunn turned slightly when he spoke, her elbow knocking squarely into Francis’ which made her for whatever stupid reason turn right back away and point right at the little map on the sign in front of them, just a little highlighted red island off of a continent she thought she might have known the name of but didn’t bother to guess, least she was wrong and stood there feeling like an idiot even more than she already did... “That must be Madagascar.” She all but blurted out in a way that was less than subtle and less than normal for her.

She had no concept of why she’d have reacted like that. No, no of course. It was a natural reaction because she knew how much Francis hated being touched - then again, he had put his hand on her back and… all of a sudden there it was again, that tightness that had faded when they’d walked away from the Sea Lions, when they’d gotten out of the crowd. There it was again. Something her brain didn’t want to recognize as having a pattern. Something her brain didn’t  want to realize had a connection to certain little movements, certain thoughts, there was a pattern.

She was just ignoring it. Willingly.

Francis...still didn’t know what to make of any of this at all. There were a million and one things about this that were off to say the least. The people, the air, the color of the sky, the fact that buildings weren’t ruins, that animals weren’t long gone...it was a slowly building picture of the world as it had been and it was making Francis all the more anxious. Which was annoying, frustrating, and entirely where he was placing the blame of his weird feelings -- which was also exactly why he was refusing to give them a voice. He’d just stuff them down into his stomach, just stand there and watch the monkeys, just stand there and let Torunn point to the map, giving a faint nod.

At least until she opened her mouth and the less than common speech came rolling out of her mouth. That ticked his eyebrows up, yanked his eyes away from the monkeys, and dropped his gaze carefully over her face and figure. Was she okay? Was she having the same kind of response to all this that he was? Fuck, was he seriously so caught up in his own head that he’d missed a cue that big? Had he, in an attempt to look out for her and to just stay out of his own way completely dropped the ball again? The thought, the myriad of things that were tied to it, spiraled across his stomach and wrapped it up in a tight web of regret. Fucking, fuck-fuck. Francis cursed himself, trying to let his eyes subtly shift back to the monkeys. He tried not to focus on it, tried to think back to what he should do…

He tried to think about what Clint had said, when he’d found Francis trouncing one of the training dummies to the point he hurt himself, and there really wasn’t much useful there either. He tried to think of what Bobbi would do or say to him, but he still came up blank. Francis didn’t know how to help. He tried to think back to anything he’d done even. He took it all the way back to the beginning, to the first time they’d met, and the swung it all the way forward. He pieced through as many of their memories as he could, working himself closer and closer to where they were now, looking for some kind of clue.

And then it struck him.

As awkward and uncomfortable as it made him, the fact that it took that feeling in his stomach and dialed it up so high it might as well have been in space itself, he knew what to do. Or thought he did anyway. It wouldn’t be as long as lengthy as last time, but he carefully, discreetly, without even really looking at her, reached his hand out to slip it around the one of hers that wasn’t pointing at anything.

“What’s it say about Madagascar?” He was just trying to give her something to focus on, something she could tell him about instead of reading the sign himself. Maybe she’d refuse, maybe she’d elbow him again and call him an idiot. Maybe she’d just read the sign. Francis didn’t know, all he did know was that, if she was having the same kind of stupid, dumb, anxious feelings about being here? If she was suffering from that same annoying response -- because they fucking fought Ultron, why the fuck was a zoo such a big deal? -- then he wanted to do anything he could to give her something else to think about.

Torunn was already cursing herself in her head, there was nothing about this stupid situation and her utterly childish reaction to even just accidentally nudging Francis that was okay. She was acting like a child and that was just unacceptable. It was totally unacceptable, clearly any lesson she thought she had learned about how to deal with other people, how to act properly, how to be worthy of herself just went out the window now that she was totally out of a situation she understood. How was it that she was plopped into Knowhere, plopped down here on Earth, put into totally normal situations and all of a sudden… she couldn’t function? Sure, she was young - really barely an infant by Asgardian standards if you wanted to be honest about it. 22? She was barely a toddler by their standards, her Grandfather Odin had lived thousands of years and by all accounts even being her Father’s age was still considered to be in your prime, still relatively young when you looked at the possibility of how long you could live if you reached the real height of possibility for an Asgardian - so 22? She was a child, but why was she acting like one, hadn’t that been Thor’s whole purpo--

Her thought was abruptly cut off when Francis completely shook her to the core again by grabbing her hand, she couldn’t help the sharp inhale and exhale that followed the, frankly, tender moment. That she definitely hadn’t been expecting but it… it had exactly the effect he’d been aiming for. As much as it confused Torunn, that little bit of reassurance? His gentle nudge towards something totally outside of what was going on in her head, something totally random like talking about what the sign said? Unlike a lot of the other little touches, things that had made her chest tighten in a way she refused to understand… when he’d put his hand around hers?

That… that calmed her. She sort of resented that in an entirely positive way, whether that made sense in reality or not.

“It says it is the only place you will find lemurs - Sifakas are apparently a type of lemur so you were at least partially correct before.” The little joke was an attempt at… something. Torunn didn’t really know what, but it was definitely an attempt at something. Either way, she just sort of… kept talking. She didn’t know why, but she did. “Apparently most of the animals you find there are… endemic --” Torunn paused, looking through the rest of the sentence and some little facts next to it to try and figure out what that work might mean, “-- I think that is a fancy word for unique…” She noted the second part of the sentence a bit quietly before clearing her throat. ”Most of the things you find there are unique to the island.” Tilting her head curiously she searched the rest of the facts that were on the little sign, looking up at Francis before speaking again, “There are over one hundred species of lemurs, including one that the locals have worshiped as a devil. That is actually very sad sounding. Why would someone think a cute monkey would be a devil? That just does not sound right…” Now of course, with no reference to what an Aye-Aye might look like, this first plaque in the start of the exhibit really gave her no context for why there might be a good reason as to why someone might think one was a devil…

Of course, once she would see a picture just a few exhibits away. That statement would be suddenly make sense, though as of right now? It just felt like a slight if these Aye-Ayes looked anything like the rather cute Sifakas still bouncing about in front of them - who Torunn abruptly returned her attention to.

“I have my moments. They’re most of ‘em.” Because that was how Francis was going to handle every last ounce of emotional awkward he’d subjected himself to in trying to help pull her out of it. There was a long list of things she’d probably punch him for, or ‘Francis’ at him about at the very least. He could handle that, it would be far and away the most normal thing about the day so far really, right up there alongside his simulacrum of the confident and unfazed person he was going to show the outside world. Of course, if he’d let go of her hand when he’d meant to, if he hadn’t hovered closer to her than was at all necessary while he listened to her explain the rest of what was on the sign, it might have been just a bit more believable too.

“Duno.” He shrugged at the devil comment, his tone conveying a tacit sort of agreement that it did sound sad. Nothing about the animals in this exhibit, near as he could tell, seemed to lend themselves to even a single notion he might have had about Devils in any way, shape, or form. He even let his eyes swing over more of them, as if he might somehow magically spot one of the whatevers that looked all horned -- because Devils had horns right? That was a thing? He thought he recalled one of the older Scavengers making Devil horns once at least, but Francis would have been the first to admit he was probably entirely wrong about that.

He just wouldn’t admit it out loud.

“So they have a whole island just to themselves? Sounds like it’d get kinda boring if you had a whole planet to go look at…” His voice trailed as he looked up at Torunn, accidentally catching her eye-to-eye. He didn’t even mean to hold the look as long as he did, but there it was all the same. There was even the faint twitch of a smile at the corners of his mouth, a moment where he wanted to say something about how this Earth, weird as it was, wasn’t so bad. Of course that would have let to questions, admissions about why it wasn’t so bad, and then he would have dodged them and she probably would have punched him or moved away from him and...because this Earth was weird...because that was what he was telling himself over and over again to make sense of the fact that….he didn’t want her to do that.

“C’mon.” He tugged at her hand instead, dodging everything about what was going on except the Monkeys in front of them. “Since you’re so good at figuring out what stuff means, you can read me the rest of the signs.”

Torunn scoffed, most of them. That was so far from true - so far from true Torunn (for a split second) actually considered pulling away and giving him a solid punch to the arm, a punch right to his shoulder that would put into place his stupid ego. That stupid ego, but she didn’t pull away because there it was again, she couldn’t bring herself to pull away - even if she twitched slightly, just enough that he may have picked up on just the slight readjustment of her position but, she didn’t pull her hand from his and she didn’t pull away at all. Every time this happened Torunn went through the same thought process, she really - you know what, it was really stupid she absolutely knew why. She wasn’t… she wasn’t so naive as to actually believe herself that she didn’t know why but… she wore that faux-belief like the strongest set of armor she’d ever had, the most well made shield you could find. The thing was, Torunn wasn’t a stupid woman - for all her lack of social skills and for all of her conflicted feelings and emotionally stunted behaviours, she wasn’t stupid and it just… it made it all the more difficult to face the things that flittered through her mind. Because it wasn’t just… it wasn’t just Francis, even though… no… no she wasn’t going to think about any of that but…

Being on Earth made it hard not to. Being on Earth made things flit into her mind she preferred to stay locked away for a few more decades. Being on Earth made… it reminded her that… Midgard wasn’t her home and… <i>fuck</i>. The very rare little bit of wording slipped through her mind and no sooner had it had Francis annoyingly pulled her right out of her thoughts again as he tugged at her hand.

“Yes. A whole island, Francis.” She said, a bit more vitriol in her voice for really no reason at all. Just on his name, for whatever reason it was just on his name too - nothing else she said had even a tinge of anything there, not even a mirage of a bit of any sort of tone but normal, just his name did. The way his eyes caught her’s - that was, well that was probably the reason, frankly. Just another think she’d bury deep, deep underneath that knowledge she refused (had always, would always continue to refuse to) divulge to her teammates at any time.

The little bit of knowledge in the back of her head. Earth wasn’t home for Torunn and it never would be. The implication was more than just a planet - it didn’t help that she knew that it didn’t matter how many centuries she spent on Asgard either it wouldn’t ever…

She gulped the thought back again, “Why must I read to you, are you not capable? Francis you are perfectly capable of reading a sign on your own.” She didn’t say that the way she wanted, the huff, the tone, it was almost playful and Torunn realized she was just all over the place right now. It was just like in Starlins, she had no idea why she was so… Damn him for grabbing her hand, damn herself for getting like this any time he got close and… “You are just not reading close enough. You are too hyper.” The statement phased into sounding very matter-of-fact, it was all she could manage to sort of try and even herself out between everything running through her head right now and she should… she should have pulled her hand away from his and she should have…

But Torunn didn’t, she just let Francis lead her off to whatever it was he wanted to look at next.

“Hey, you said it, not me. Glad you know my name though.” Like the cocky, overinflated, and entirely fraudulent ego of his, the sharp spike applied to his name felt too normal to really phase him. If anything it actually went the other way. There were other factors too, like the placement of his hand that he decidedly wasn’t thinking about right now, that probably played a hand in it. There were a lot of very specific reasons why having Torunn here was an asset, but the one that seemed most evident to Francis? That was easy: Torunn had been a part of his life for as long as he really thought of his life as being his and, if he was going to travel through fucking space and time, there was really no one he’d rather have at his side.

Fortunately, there were plenty of other things to focus on in the moments buzzing around them, things like Lemurs and strange looking monkeys with big eyes. Things like letting their banter be normal, things like shrugging when she leveled her accusations at him, and things like seeming to completely ignore any sense of frustration she directed at him and acting like it was absolutely nothing.

“Sure am, but you seem to know more than me anyway.” Because giving her a compliment seemed to be a good idea. “I’d just walk around and look at shit if you weren’t here.” He lied, knowing full well he’d probably have been back on Knowhere already. “Besides, you can figure out the words Tori, so why should I go through all the hard work when I can just let you do it for me?” They both knew it was something he didn’t at all believe, that he was never the type to just lay down and let people do things for him, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that Francis was being an ass, which he assumed was exactly what Torunn expected him to be.

“So we just let you be the looks and the brains. I’ll just lead us to the fun looking stuff, be the eyes and eyes.” If it had been anyone else, he would have called himself the looks of the pair, but, well, there was a long established history of his complimenting her looks and how that tended to keep her focus. Really, that was the point of all of this -- or, again, that’s what he was telling himself. If he could just keep her from thinking too much about anything except the exhibits, if he could keep her focused on being annoyed with him, she wouldn’t have time to worry about the world around them. That was what he could handle, so she could have a good day...because even though this was his trip idea?

The day had become decidedly about Torunn now.

“And we can put that hyper to good use, if you can keep up. It means we’ll get to see everything for sure.” He kept his pace, one she could easily catch up with as they moved down the length of the enclosure, with Francis very pointedly stopping in front of the next bank of signs. He’d even half turn towards her, tapping his foot in a mock sort of impatience as he gave a nod in their direction.

“Well, you going to keep me waiting in suspense?”

Opening her mouth as if to speak, Torunn huffed at Francis. He was so… frustrating. Francis was always so frustrating and with the way everything was running through her head it was only… it was so much worse, so much worse. She…. no… no… she was just going to. But she hadn’t let go of his hand and he was… Francis Barton was infuriating. That’s what it was, he was infuriating. He was outright infuriating and Torunn almost couldn’t handle it and… she was just, she was just damn lucky she managed to barely show it on her face. Barely. It was there, but not at a level he wouldn’t have expected -- certainly not at a level that… not at a level that was anything but purely normal. Maybe that was the problem. Purely normal for them was… Problematic. Purely normal for Francis and Torunn was a fine line between too much and not enough and Torunn was slowly but surely realizing that every single wall, all of those shields, all of that armor it couldn’t compare to the fact that it wasn’t…

It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough to have him there, it wasn’t enough to keep him safe. It wasn’t enough to have the team, it wasn’t enough to… Earth was too… somehow just by grabbing her hand it had gone from overwhelming to the reminder she tried to avoid on a daily basis. That thought in the back of her mind that controlled every one of Torunn’s actions with other people. It was why she was overprotective, it why was she’d stayed, it was why she kept just enough distance… and now it was all… with it just being the two of them it was…

“I only know more than you because you do not bother. Francis.” She said his name, again pointedly. Why did he always have to be like this? As much as she was sort of slowly letting herself admit that she knew that she’d made decisions, she knew why she kept her walls up, she knew where that tightness in her chest came from. Hell or high water she’d never admit that the reason Francis was so infuriating was somehow related, let alone even consider the fact that some of that might have been distinctly on purpose.

And then he went and said… then he went and… “You are the worst, Francis.” She said his name again, she couldn’t… she always did that, why did she always do that? Why did she always have to say his name like that and… damn it. She shouldn’t have come with him. It was a stupid, bad idea - she was being overprotective and she didn’t want him hurt or in trouble and… “I do not know any more than you, you are just being lazy.” She looked up at him again, giving his hand a playfully rough little tug that she wished she hadn’t given it. She regretted it immediately. Immediately. It was… it was almost intimate it was almost… it was… she wasn’t so young or naive to not know that that was…

Damn it.

“This is a fossa.” She stopped herself abruptly from any of her thoughts. Everything just… completely pushed back as she made a motion with her other hand, “They are like cats but are not, not really, the sign is not…” She bit on her lower lip, not really thinking it through before she looked up at him - slowly letting it go. “Whatever. It is a fossa. They are like cats, sort of.”

“I bother plenty.” Francis built up a rather nice looking smug smirk on his features. He could see that he was pushing the buttons he intended to, or thought he intended to or…”I just like the sound of your voice more.” Which he shouldn’t have said. Even in that tone that said he was joking, that said he was teasing her, saying it out loud forced him to admit it to himself. It was immediately awkward and uncomfortable. It made him feel like he should just shut up. If he did that though, would Torunn revert to seeming so anxious like she had been earlier when he’d been quiet? Would this whole thing get all tense for both of them rather than just for him?

Fuck.

Fuck-fuck-fuck. He couldn’t let that happen. Whatever reasons she’d given for insisting she come along, whatever well placed concerns she had about the trouble he might get into, there were things here that had happened that had changed his outlook on. Torunn smiling was chief among that and, well, if there was even a one in a billion chance he might be able to draw it out of her again today? Francis wasn’t at all about to blow it by being anything other than his usual self. Of course that was its own set of unique problems, like not really knowing what his usual self was or how to be it without being natural…

...And simply nothing about this situation was normal or natural and...and she was pulling at his hand.

So surprised by that was he, so caught up in his own thoughts, that the tug on his hand actually pulled him into a series of quick steps that ran him into her chest first. There was a brief blink while Francis worked over just how he was supposed to respond to that. Quickly. He chided himself for just...blinking at her. He chided himself for standing there and…

“You know, Tori, if you wanted to get closer you just could have asked.” He smirked at her. “And I’m not lazy. You obviously can read them.” He was standing so uncomfortably close to her, almost nose-to-nose and if this hadn’t been about Torunn right now? It would have been every kind of a disaster. He would have kept it right up too, if not for the way she’d bit her lip. It was that subtle cue, one his eyes couldn’t help but notice since apparently he’d recently picked up looking at her mouth a bit too much.

“C’mon. Really?” He pressed up on his toes to make it look like he was trying to look past her. “All the other ones said stuff and this one says they’re just kind of like cats?” It was one of the few things he had any kind of real understanding of when it came to animals. “Don’t tell me you need my help reading it to you, or you just want to hear the sound of my voice for a change?” He knew it was largely a tease, something to perhaps pull her out of wherever her head had just gone that was not where his had gone.

At least there was that. At least she didn’t have these strange and fucking weird -- or she obviously wasn’t and -- why was he standing so close? Why wouldn’t he just take a step back and read the stupid sign for himself?

“C’mon then. What’s it say?” He repeated the question, half out of  genuine curiosity but mostly because it was the only thing he could think to say right now.

Torunn just had to… she had no not react, that was all - Torunn just had to not react to the fact that he’d… the fact that he’d said he’d liked the sound of her voice and if she’d been at home, on Knowhere, if she’d been anywhere but here she’d have… Torunn would have made up some stupid excuse and she’d have run. She’d have gotten right the hell out of there and she couldn’t, she was trapped there - not that she minded except that… why did he have to say that, why did he have to compliment her why did he have to… Torunn was… this was everything she’d worked for years to avoid. Everything she’d bottled up, everything she’d pushed down. It was different when… it was different when everyone else was there and James was being needy and attention seeking and because she’d never had that sort of personality it was so easy for Torunn to just… be the protector, be the big sister - that was her role. She was just… in any other situation Torunn should have, could have, would have been the leader. In any other situation Torunn could have, should have, would have been worthy of anyone’s attentions. Not that she got no attention but the few Scavengers over the years? They’d just bored her and it’d never gotten beyond a bit of fun. There hadn’t been any…

Francis made her feel things. That was the problem. That had always been the problem, it had just been easier to ignore when there were three other people and Scavengers and Tony and eventually Vision repaired and the raiders and… there had been so much else and now it was just… them in a zoo and… he was making her feel things again.

He may have physically slammed her in the chest but that wasn’t the feeling that even registered for Torunn - not it was the emotional crush to her lungs that did. The sudden realization of how close he was, the way she sort of just looked up at him like a deer in headlights and she couldn’t help it and he was just standing there and everything hurt, all of a sudden everything hurt. Thank god for all of those years of controlling her emotions down to the the way she held her fingers, awkwardly fidgeting for something to do and… she had no where near the control she needed right now and she knew. She knew that there was no way every inch of everything wasn’t visible in her eyes.

And… had he just said? That wasn’t funny, that wasn’t funny to Torunn at all. But she didn’t respond, she just opened her mouth just enough to be visible before shutting it against just sort of. She didn’t know what to do. She just didn’t. If Earth had been weird, if being around this many people was sensory overload, it didn’t even compare to the feeling of Francis accidentally pressed up against her like that.

Torunn had never, unlike Francis and James, had a habit for expletives but there was nothing shy about the words that came to mind at the moment. Nothing.

“It also said they were actually more like mongooses. I am guessing mongooses are very long, because these do not look like cats. At least they do not look like Liho -- she is the only cat I have seen in person so, perhaps I am not the best gauge of whether or not they are lying about them looking as if they are related to cats.” Everything that came out was long winded, it was almost a ramble - except her cadance was normal as she just sort of stared forward, if there had ever been a time she regretted not being a few inches shorter than she was? It was right now. She sort of wished she could just stare blankly forward, at his chest or something else. Instead? She had to look past his face as he moved to look past her’s. She had never wanted to be shorter than Francis before -- more than the inch or so between them naturally -- but right now? She would have traded anything in the world to be able to not be so close to his face.

Anything.

If he’d been smarter, if he’d had more real experience, he might have been able to place the look in her eyes. As it stood, Francis Barton didn’t really have much of a clue. He swept his gaze over her, trying to sort it, to break it down and piece it back together. The problem was that he didn’t even have a picture on the puzzle box he could work with and all the pieces were upside down. Sure Francis probably could have flipped them all over, seen the bright spectrum of colors and figured out what went where, but that would have required him to be able to think to do that. Right now? Right now Francis Barton couldn’t think about much of anything except the stupid, stupid, way everything was...and he was….and cats were…

Suddenly and quite awkwardly, when Torunn had opened her mouth to speak, Francis moved. He stepped back, off to her side, still standing closer than he probably should have been. The gesture was a clear and evident reaction, one the taller blonde was cursing himself for over and over and over again in his head, but what else was he supposed to do? He couldn’t get his bearings, couldn’t figure out what was even happening nevermind how the fuck he was supposed to navigate it. It was a sad comparison really in that, to give Francis Barton people to protect, robot overlords to hide from, and an apocalypse? He’d make his way. Give him a friend, a teammate, and someone who made his insides feel funny when he stood so close to her he could smell her damnable hair?

Francis Barton had no idea what to do. No fucking clue. Not even an idea and so, he just stood there listening to her talk about animals he’d never even heard of before. He was also suddenly very aware of the fact that he was still holding her hand and, fucking frustratingly so, did that fall into the category of him not knowing what to do with it too. It seemed like it’d helped her earlier, so he didn’t want to just outright drop it, but now things were weird again and...had he done something? Was this somehow his fault? Was it because he’d bumped into her? Was this just too much in general? The questions were endless and Francis? He just tried to find the words he could jump to get a sentence out of his mouth.

“Do Mongooses live on Madagascar too?” Not that he thought she knew, but maybe the sign said. Maybe it was something they could learn. Maybe it was something they could both just focus on to help push through. Maybe that was the secret, to just treat this like it was some hard fought battle where, if they didn’t give up, they could come out the other side winners. Winners, at least in this case where it was getting to see a bunch of animals and subconsciously buried in denial was maybe spending time with...it...no. No part of his mind would let those thoughts out. They were nothing but trouble, things he could only barely manage some weak imitation of when there was an apocalypse and seemingly someone needed that from him. That wasn’t here, that wasn’t now, and Torunn wasn’t some whiny kid who wanted to play hero.

“Do they have any in the zoo?” Because Torunn still had the map, so maybe it would say. As it was, Francis gave her hand a soft tug. Nothing hard or swift, just something to get them moving, walking back down the length of the display, looking at the animals. Maybe that was what would help, maybe the problem was they’d stopped moving and things were catching up. Maybe it was too many people. Maybe it was the building. Maybe it was him.

“I haven’t seen a lot of cats either.” He shrugged. “So maybe they’re lying, like they were about the sea lions.” He blew a mocking puff of air out through his mouth, letting his tone drop to a clearly not serious bit of muttering that she could hear. “Whoever named animals once upon time probably had a really fucking stupid idea of what was funny. I mean, Aye-Aye? What, because monkeys have two big eyes?”

Anything, seriously anything and then… Francis had moved and immediately part of her? Part of her regretted even letting herself think that she’d wanted him to pull away, because now she felt the chill -- the distinct chill -- of the air conditioning again and no. No. Torunn’s original instinct was correct, him not just being against her like that, him not just standing there and acting as if the fact that they were actually touching was… clearly he didn’t even know what he was doing and that was all Torunn really needed to think about to keep herself calm. He didn’t realize he was doing it. Of course he didn’t because Francis Barton was a goddamn idiot and she’d just keep repeating that to herself. There were so many things she knew she had to hold back and that was only one of them, so many things she always had to be conscious of. Any of them could get killed, any of them could decide to leave the te-- she cut that thought off too. That would just begin to upset her in so many different ways and she didn’t. Torunn desperately wanted to just go back to enjoying their little trip, the one she’d forced herself upon. The one she shouldn’t have interrupted, clearly he was doing just fine and she should have trusted that he would be fine on his own and she shouldn’t have come. But she… she really was enjoying herself, even with the… other added difficulties. Even with the way that a few of these moments were likely to keep her up when she got back to Talia’s that night… Torunn very likely wasn’t going to be getting that much sleep tonight, not likely at all.

But at least he hadn’t let go of her hand and…

This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. How had it even gotten to the point where she’d… now she’d gone and become conscious of things and, she should have known that would happen eventually and she should have known that she couldn’t avoid this forever but there had been distractions before and the distractions had made it easier, they gave her excuse after excuse and... then there was Francis himself of course, he only did things like this because it was who he was. He was brash, he was forward, he just…  Francis acted so big for his britches to everyone. Francis Barton may as well have been synonymous with ego - whether all of it was genuine or an act was something Torunn had never even let herself consider before. She wasn’t willing to break down any of their walls like that and here was. Her own was damn near shattered because she’d been so focused on what… what he had said to the two of them and then… so focused on adjusting and trying not to feel like the odd one out in everything and she’d…

Torunn had let herself get distracted and so now, here she was, half desperate for Francis to step closer to her again and half terrified that he might do it on accident and then she’d just have to fight her thoughts again and just remind herself that he didn’t know what he was doing. This wasn’t like when he tried to make her blush on purpose, just because he was being a jackass, just because he knew he could - even if she lied through her teeth about it every time. That was harmless.

This wasn’t.

“It does not say.” She answered, much more delayed than she should have. It didn’t say, actually, it may have - Torunn had really stopped reading once he’d been that close to her and now she couldn’t even really remember what it even said about the Fossa’s and… she didn’t… Torunn didn’t want to but she slowly let go of his hand, there was no verbal response to his question just the far too noticeably slow way she pulled away so that she could make a little face at the map as she unfolded it and just sort of stared at it - eventually giving Francis a haphazard shrug. “It does not have a good list. Just pictures.” She shoved the map at him rather abruptly, like she had earlier, “Perhaps you can figure it out for yourself.” She said - snapping immediately back into her normal tone as she gave him a little look as if she was about to insult him again, but didn’t.

This was so frustrating. Not Torunn because, as much as it would have been easier to pin the blame of difficulty on her, even Francis knew that wasn’t the truth. What was frustrating about was that Francis just couldn’t make sense of it. He’d never been a leader, or never thought of himself as one anyway, and recent events had only confirmed that position for him, but...this was different. It was one thing when there just wasn’t a way, or if Francis made bad choice about things, but when he didn’t know what to do? Maybe if he hadn’t royally screwed up with the whole...James...thing, this wouldn’t be so bad…

But he had screwed it up. He’d made a mistake and now the team had fractured. He’d completely dropped the ball and now, with Torunn acting weird and shoving the map at him? He was certain he’d done it again. He felt his stomach tightening to a knot, felt his eyes drop to the map she’d all but thrown at him. He unfurled it for a minute, trying to look it over and find an answer. It was just a map, he should have been able to figure it out right? In any other context he probably could have figured it out too. If it was direction, roads, streets? Even with the names long gone, he’d been able to follow those easily enough. Hell he’d drawn himself a map from his excursions….but this wasn’t a map like that. This was a map with pictures and ones he had honestly no hope of identifying.

“This is a fucking stupid map.” His tone was more more clipped and curt than he’d intended, and the thing was folded up and put away into one of the pockets of his jacket. “How are you supposed to find anything on a map that’s just pictures if you don’t know what the pictures are?” He huffed openly, being more rhetorical in his question than directing it at Torunn. He was tense now, worried about what he should make for his next move, and every choice he even thought about making was followed up by a hundred and one scenarios where it just went badly.

Should he just not say anything? Would that look like he was shutting down on Torunn? Was she upset because he’d done something or was it where they were? What if it was both? What if she just regretted coming here at all and being here with him and all his questions was making it worse? Was she tired? Was she hungry? Should they leave? Would that just upset her more because…

There was no way to know. It might have helped if he’d realized every single question had been about Torunn, but he didn’t. So focused on finding an answer was Francis, so meticulous in his over analysis of what was happening, that he was missing some of the more vital components that should have helped him fill in the details. Ultimately though, the place in which he’d land was the one which seemed to make the most sense to him: This was new, it was very new and, by their standards, it was very crowded. He’d thought coming earlier in the day might have prevented that but, once again, he’d been dead wrong.

Just like he was about everything apparently.

“You want to get something to eat?” He half huffed, more than he’d meant to at any rate as he pushed himself to drop into step with her. “After this I mean. The map said something about…” He shrugged, not even finishing his sentence. “Or we can go make the loop up behind this place and see the birds and then get food?” He didn’t even sound all that enthusiastic about any of it, largely because he was just pitching plans at her as fast as he could think to come up with them. He was just trying to give her some direction, something to focus on again, because that seemed to be the only thing that helped anything at all…

And, even if he’d come here for himself, even Francis couldn’t deny this wasn’t about him anymore.

“The map is not bad. Francis.” She stated, rather neutrally. It wasn’t a bad map, she knew it was them who didn’t get it. They didn’t know what the hell a monkey or an elephant or a lion looked like, not enough. Not enough to understand most of the symbols. Sure, birds? Birds were easy. Birds and rodents - those were familiar things, maybe not quite the diverse array that the zoo had, but Torunn knew she could recognize a rodent or a bird as a type of rodent or a bird, even if not specifically which type, when she saw them. She knew what a rat looked like at least and she was just sort of assuming that all rodents would be… rat like? Of course, that would be a surprise to her - the fact that some rodents could actually be quite adorable. That was definitely going to be something that shocked her a bit. Birds? Well, she knew that seagulls and little birds like that were only some birds but she was pretty damn sure she could manage to recognize something with a pair of wings as a bird, she was also… maybe sure? Maybe? That she knew some birds didn’t fly, but she wasn’t sure where that little bit of knowledge came from. She had no reference for why she knew… Everything else? The sea lions and the talk of mongooses and even seeing the fossa and the lemurs wasn’t really helping her understand what they were any more. Well, maybe the lemurs. She thought she actually might understand what a monkey was now. Small-ish, cute faces, little noses, long tails - she actually really liked the way their tails moved. She wasn’t sure why but, she did. Something about their little human like fingers and the way they picked at each other’s hair was also sort of, well, it was another thing that she thought was precious that she just sort of didn’t understand why but also sort it might just not be the type of thing you bother to question.

Why something was precious just sort of registered to Torunn as something that didn’t really require thought, didn’t come from somewhere rational and then…

There it was again, she’d managed to distract herself for a moment and still come right around full circle because he was talking again, asking her what she wanted to do, asking her her opinion and she just, Torunn’s chest started to get tight again and she just shrugged it off. It was the most nonchalant thing she could hope to pull off at the moment, so she did it - bringing a hand up to fiddle with her hair for a moment, bringing it forward over her shoulders so it’d stop tickling the back of her neck. She should have worn it up, she shouldn’t have tried to make it look more normal again. It was just another thing to make her anxious.

Wetting her lips she turned to Francis, suddenly glad she was so good at pulling off neutral because the way she felt right now was anything but that. “You said you wished to see the birds and they are before the food area, it does not make sense to get food first and then backtrack.” She huffed at him, “That would be a bad tactic.” And there it was, slipping back into normal defenses. Normal behaviours for her, for them - because certainly no one else here was thinking, let alone talking about, how to tactically approach visiting a damn zoo.

Francis still couldn’t decide if this was a good idea or, quite frankly, one of the worst he ever had. One minute she was smiling and having a good time, the next she was fiddling with her hair and telling his plans made no sense. She wasn’t wrong in that it didn’t make sense to backtrack, but what the fuck business did sense even have anymore? They were on Earth, in a fucking zoo, surrounded by people and animals. The sky was blue and clear. The air didn’t taste like metal and dirt.  The grass was still green. Nothing fucking made sense. Not one damn thing in this whole fucking place made any sense to Francis Barton and he was frankly just...stumped. He was at the point where, if he’d been alone, he probably would have just gone to sit somewhere, or decided the whole fucking thing was stupid and just gone back to Knowhere.

But he wasn’t on his own. He was here, now, with Torunn. He thought about asking her if she just wanted to go, if this was too much for her, but there was the very real fact that she was likely to punch him for that or get even more mad if she thought he was saying she couldn’t handle it….so that wasn’t going to work either. Which left Francis to just sigh and stuff his hands in his pockets. It made him just...atypically quiet while they walked. He kept his eyes on the enclosure, darting over to Torunn every so often before going back to the monkeys, until they’d walked the whole length of it.

He didn’t even respond to the whole ‘bad tactic’ bit, despite the fact he very much felt the sarcastic urge leap into his throat. Even if that would be more normal, the last thing Francis wanted to do was get her so frustrated she just stormed off. It wasn’t like that was unheard of for her really and there was a part of him that could very easily see today going that way.

That would fucking suck. The thought was loud. So much so that it actually moved him over to look at her. It almost made him ask her if she was okay. It almost made him want to be soft, and, if he wasn’t so damn sure he’d fuck that up too and make all this worse, he probably would have. Instead he just kind of shrugged, keeping his hands in his pockets, giving the map a brush with his finger as he sidestepped a large group of people and let them move past toward the exit.

“So birds next?” Because what-the-fuck else was he supposed to say?

There was nothing else Torunn could do besides just… follow along, look at the animals. Look at the monkeys… Madagascar was apparently a fairly tropical place - she thought that seemed familiar at least, maybe? She sort of vaguely felt like she had an idea that Africa was all deserts and jungles and things like that, but it was just another thing that felt like a fragmented memory from when she was a kid. From a point where Tony tried to give them some semblance of the most basic education you could give a group of kids who’d probably never use it. Books to read mixed with stories of parents and places they’d never know. At least, most of them would never know. Either way, she figured by the time that they got close to the end that… maybe that was why they made it so cold in there? Maybe that was why the air conditioning was on so high, to stop people from getting overheating because of the temperatures it was inside where the animals were? It was the only thing she could think of and right now? Right now Torunn was trying to keep her mind on anything else besides where else her mind kept going. She wasn’t going to think about Midgard or Asgard. She wasn’t going to think about what was or wasn’t home. She wasn’t going to… her eyes caught Francis in her peripheral - she wasn’t going to think about that. No way.

Thank god for weird childhood memories and all these signs and…

“Birds next.” She said, carefully adjusting to step to the side when he did - she didn’t want to risk him touching her again and sending her back down the spiral. As long as he didn’t touch her again she’d be fine she could just… go back and enjoy the zoo and she could smile again - not that she couldn’t smile if he touched her again, it was just that… she didn’t think she should? She didn’t think she should because that would make it awkward and that would make things weird and since they were having such a good time until she went and got sensitive she already felt bad enough. She was being too sensitive and she was better than that and she needed to just stop so… birds it was.

Slipping past Francis she pushed at the door - the rush of the heat outside such a stark contrast to the overly air conditioned building. It caused goosebumps to run up her arms as she looked back to make sure he was still following her before she pressed outside. Just sort of… glad to be out in the open again, no matter how stupid that may have sounded.

Well now this was just getting even more weird and Francis, in a display of both epic stupidity and self sabotage, was entirely sure it was his fault. His response to all this, to the sudden lack of dialogue and they notable effort being made to avoid him? Avoid it right back. He’d probably just been touching her too much, or it was probably weird that he did at all considering how infrequent it really was for him to do it in the first place. Hell that was probably why she’d been so weird toward him in the first place. Ultimately, no matter how hard he tried to sort it out, no matter how much or how little of it made sense, that was where this all landed in the end.

He didn’t know how, but it was his fault.

Normally Francis wasn’t even prone to thinking like that. Normally he wouldn’t have beat himself up for something so much, let alone something so simple. Okay, no, he might have, but not when she was still there. It was just worse since...well. The incident. That was what Francis was going to call it now. Since it had happened, he’d been a little more on edge about things like that, had tried a little harder to avoid them at all. Of course it seemed like he was failing at even that too, at least if the way she was slipping ahead of him to push open the door was any indication.

He wouldn’t chase after her or pick up his pace though, he’d just keep things steady. He might have, and purely by accident (and because he was keeping her in the same place) hovered on the edge of her periphery vision. He’d stay there too, at least unless she made a move to break it, as they walked along the pathways. It, apparently, was going to be another building where they headed next, but at least this time that made sense. It wasn’t like you could just have birds out in the open really. Still, as the rounded out the last few steps, it did occur to him how much that must have sucked for the birds who were used to being a lot more free.

Of course he also wasn’t at all expecting the place to be so empty when they got inside it either. It made him relax slightly, let him cling to the hope that maybe this part wouldn’t be so bad.

“Guess I’m the only one who likes birds.” He quipped once the door was shut behind him and a moment had been taken to figure out just how alone they were.

Torunn felt childish for the silence as they walked. She felt childish because not talking let her just focus on the things around her, it let her take in the trees and the way this part of the part seemed more secluded - maybe it was because the birds needed less noise? That made sense after all, apocalypse or not birds (as far as she knew at least) were flighty creatures, it was where the term (or so she assumed) came from after all. Fight or flight and all that. So it made sense that the birds would be back on a path that seemed to lead them away from everything else - it made sense and it… it also felt better. Just like the silence, loathe she was to admit it, the fact that the crowd thinned and things just sounded like… nature and the idle sound of a subway train in the background and maybe some cars if she listened hard enough was… it was so much more familiar than anything she’d felt on Knowhere since they’d gotten there and definitely… decidedly more familiar than the rest of the zoo which seemed to just be teeming with people. Maybe not everyone liked birds, maybe not everyone appreciated what wings could do, maybe they didn’t understand what a marvel and a gift flight was… Torunn, as it was, didn’t mind birds - actually, she found them quite fascinating, the way wings worked in particular. When you could fly and didn’t need the assistance of things like lift and flapping when you could just… fly at will, you tended to appreciate something that had evolved to do it without any additional powers at all. It was one of the reasons she found Sam so curious, and Caine as well though she couldn’t much place ever seeing him outside of work duties in passing. Though, that was unsurprising of course with just how much there was of Knowhere to secure, if you could even call it that with the fact that there was no way to help the general lawlessness and really, all Torunn felt like she did was make sure that their people sort of… weren’t harassed and things like that.

Another thing she was relieved about was that the locals just didn’t seem to give a damn.

The silence, it put her head in a better place, it let her think about things that didn’t trail back to the rest of it and she was -- she really was -- intent on not bothering with those thoughts. He just had to not touch her again, and it was Francis - he probably wouldn’t, he didn’t…

She cleared her throat without even realizing she’d done it, but thankfully it was mostly drowned out by the sound of a door opening and Francis making some stupid quip about how no one else liked birds, seemingly about how just empty this particular building was. And it was empty - it was totally empty, Torunn was fairly sure that she couldn’t hear a single other person in there. That was familiar, but for… but it… it made her feel awkward for a totally different reason than the crowds did.

“You have an irrational attachment to birds, Hawkeye.” She said idly, walking about 15 or so feet into the oddly shaped building, stopping at the second or third exhibit - the first one with something rather bright looking in it. “These are Kingfishers.” Tilting her head to the side, blonde hair spilled over her shoulder as she bit at her lower lip, “They have a better name than you.” She said without much thought behind it.

“Birds are awesome. I’m awesome. It’s not irrational.” He didn’t even miss a beat in his rebuttal, despite the fact that his heart really wasn’t in it. It was reflex more than response, as he kept his pace a little slower than hers. Sure he’d seen birds before, a couple anyway, but never anything like this. Bright colors, shapes and sizes, seemingly unbothered by their presence, this wasn’t at all the kind of birds he was used to and it snapped his attention more than he’d even meant for it to. In fact, so far behind was he that he actually had to take a series of quickened steps to catch up to her.

Right in time for another jab.

If she was Pym or James, that might have bothered him. Hawkeye had been his Father’s moniker and Francis had only taken it as a means to hang onto that, to try and live up to what his Father had been for the Scavengers. Hell, if it was James who’d said it, Francis probably would have punched him right then and there, knocked him the fuck out, and just left him for the damn birds. As it was, Francis actually took comfort in her mockery of his title. It was a sign that, at least on Torunn’s end, even if the dig did get under his skin more than he would have ever let show on the outside, she was maybe feeling a little better about things. Maybe he’d been completely wrong in it being his fault, maybe it really was just the density of people.

Either way, he felt himself relax some at the display.

“No they don’t.” He balked, forcing the stiff and indignant reply with ease. “What the hell kind of name is a Kingfisher?” Of course if he knew anything about the birds, he actually might have been a little impressed. As it was? “You’re just saying that because they’re your favorite color.” Which he knew was wrong. He knew she hated blue. She’d been largely vocal about that point for as long as he’d known her, but if the playful jabbing was where they were right now (which Francis would take any time over where they’d just been) then he was going to play right along.

He was content even, to let himself stand beside her again, careful to keep the distance she’d set for them while he did so. He’d just let his eyes track the various birds, let his gaze settle on them as he idly slipped into his own thoughts. “It’s weird seeing so many trees.” He hadn’t even meant to say it, it had just fallen out of his mouth. In all honesty, though for certain the people, animals, and lack of ruin to the world outside was far stranger, it was the trees that seemed to strike Francis most. He’d certainly been able to picture what a ruined building had looked like before it was smashed to bits, but no amount of pictures had ever braced him for what trees looked like in such density and configurations as he was seeing here.

Torunn sort of realized she couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually called Francis Hawkeye, it wasn’t exactly something she went around doing and it wasn’t only because Torunn had a habit of emphasizing his name in such a way that was unique, saying his name in such a way that he knew precisely what emotion or idea she was trying to convey just by the way her tone upticked or the way her mouth curved over the words. Honestly, the ways he said his name at any given point was probably the best indicator of her mood at the moment, not only with him but with… everything around them. There was… actually what did it say that she could convey so much and that he’d just get it when she said his name? And there was something else she didn’t want to think about, it had creeped up on her again in the idle moment of realizing she probably shouldn’t have made a joke about that codename but then again there was a Clint here and she shouldn’t have said it but, she choked that back because… Francis seemed okay with it? She’d actually expected some sort response to it some sort of… she actually didn’t expect him to just… take her saying it? She knew that that moniker was, like Francis and anything physical, a very touchy subject - something you were better off just staying away from but… with the birds thing it had just sort of come out and… he seemed okay with it?

The Asgardian was at a loss for words, almost. She wasn’t able to wrap her head around why he’d actually seem okay with it, let alone joke back at her without so much as even the most gentle of attempts at an attack right back at her. But no, no… instead? He just sort of… rolled with it? That sort of threw Torunn off for a moment and she rolled her eyes at him, it was just the only instinct she could lean on at the moment that didn’t threaten to send her back to the headspace where she’d found herself back in Madagascar. “Kingfisher is exactly what it sounds like, Francis.” She said - giving him a rather piercing, but playful glare as she said it.

She turned her attention back to the pair of birds situated on a branch in the small enclosure, bright eyes sort of just looking them over as he talked about, joked about her dislike of the colour blue. “I would not mind the colour so much if it always looked like that.” She said idly, she didn’t realize she said it in the sort of idle, cautious tone she did - it wasn’t anything wrong, it wasn’t sad it was just… idle as she watched them start to preen themselves - her lips pursing as eyes focused on the birds and not anything else. It was true too, the blue actually seemed… pretty? Enticing? On the birds.

That probably said more about what her real dislike was, and it probably wasn’t the colour itself. All these years, all her complaints, honestly - it was probably just Torunn projecting and it dawned on her at least just a little bit as she stood there, watching there just… quite pretty birds clean off their feathers and chirp at each other in their own little way. There was something oddly pleasant about the sound, maybe because it sounded so natural? There was something nice about the sound of birds she hadn’t really realized before and it actually distracted her enough for her eyes to glaze over, just a little bit as she tilted her head - tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as she watched them.

The sight of Torunn watching the birds, even mid-jabbing at him? It was another example of how unaware Francis was of himself in a lot of respects. If he had been, he might have seen that he was acting strangely and he might have even seen why. Once again however, it didn’t even register. He was simply too focused on his teammate, on his friend. She was one of the very few people in his life that he let matter to him. That should have been a clue too but, to Francis Barton, it was buried in so many layers of denial, behind wall after wall of distrust in emotions and feelings. All that left room for in the end was that strange, warm, feeling in his gut now. The one that felt strange but not uncomfortable beyond the fact that it was foreign, the one Francis was entirely certain was born just out of where they were standing.

“Yeah, and it sounds stupid. Torunn.” Francis retorted in his usual manner, tacking her name onto the end of it to go along with her retort. “They’re too small to be the kings of anything and since when do birds fish?” It was an utter and absolute betrayal of his own lacking knowledge, which he never would have said out loud if there had been even a single person within earshot.

Her confession about the color though, it softened him all at once. He honestly couldn’t have possibly predicted that. He’d always thought she hated that color. He didn’t think there was so much as a single instance of it she ever would have said anything nice about it. It turned his gaze out to the fisher more seriously and Francis found himself making an active effort to memorize that shade of blue. It maybe should have occurred to him it had to do with the birds, with the fact that it was the animal perhaps more than the color, but he couldn’t quite get that far.

“Yeah?” His voice sounded funny -- though not at all like he was making a joke. More like the question was...child-like almost...in how curious it was. Torunn wasn’t the type to offer up personal opinions often, at least not about anything other than how stupid people were being. “I can see that, I guess. It’s better than orange.” Ever since the skyline of their world, since the desert where they’d battled Ultron, Francis hated that color. It reminded him of rust and ruins. It reminded him of a color he’d frankly seen just way too much of in his life and he’d be happy never to see again if he had any real say in it.

“Of course birds can fish.” She said - she knew some ate fish, she knew that. She just did, and these were sea birds or aquatic birds or the outside had said something about that - or maybe it had said both? Torunn hadn’t really been paying attention as they walked, she’d pretty much been in a haze until they’d gotten inside and now she was rolling her eyes again when Francis brought up orange? She knew every implication behind his dislike of that colour. It was one place where you could have seen the biggest difference between the way they were raised. At the end of the day? Torunn and Francis were the most similar of all of them. Maybe it was because she’d spent her whole childhood trying to prove herself worthy to an absent parent she wasn’t even sure was watching, maybe it was because she shared with him the fact that she didn’t appreciate games and that there was a certain level of dislike and distrust in the world that - unlike her siblings - Torunn shared with Francis because her situation, the root of her situation, had been so different than theirs’. But when he echoed a statement about the colour orange that so resembled the way she talked about the colour blue. She saw it from a mile away.

Francis had never really seen blue. Not blue like this. He hated orange for reasons for strikingly similar to the reasons she hated blue that if their realities had been any different, it might have been something to joke about. Laugh about how they both had irrational hatred of a colour and that that just made no sense but… for them? For them… She knew where that hatred was rooted, she knew how very, very real it was to the two for them and Torunn just…. waved them right past it.

Any sort of daze she may have been in, any sort of fascination was broken in an instant as she pulled away from where they’d been stood near the Kingfisher’s little exhibit and she immediately started down the hallway. Damn it, she didn’t have the map any more and she’d just… she’s just sort of darted away and she had to think of something quick, something really quick, something that would make sense and… “Everything else I want to see is this way.” She said, looking back over her shoulder, “There are penguins.” It was a stupid cover, and she wasn’t even sure if she was right, but she knew what a penguin was and she’d go with it for now unless she got found the hell out. She’d go with the cover and round the corner and take a breath for a moment as she waited for him to catch up, at which point he’d get a snarky remark about being slow and she’d continue on her way through the birds. Hoping that somewhere along here was a damn penguin, the little ones who looked like they wore suits - at least she was hoping to the Gods she was right, right now. If not she was going to need a hell of an excuse for her randomly erratic behaviour at even the mild thought of Ultron. Just the… slight association of something with all of that.

She’d take the way she’d felt back standing there staring at the lemurs over that feeling, any day.

Francis just...he was glad she walked away because then she didn’t have to see the face he made.

He was...it was a really strange mix of things. On one hand, there was the very real reflex to just snap at her sarcastically. It felt natural at least, or it would have, and she probably wouldn’t have suspected anything of it. On the other hand, strange as it might have sounded, he was trying very hard to remove that dynamic from them as best he could. It had been fine when he’d done it to everyone. When he was being a knowing ass to James, or to Azari, or even to Torunn but as part of the group, when it was part of how he just treated everyone? That was fine. It was how he’d treated everyone. Now, with James all but gone, with versions of his parents here, it was just Torunn he’d be treating like that. Maybe that wasn’t so bad, maybe he was just overthinking it. Maybe he should just sit here and shut up and watch the birds now…

It was what he’d do for a minute at least, letting her get just to the edges of his vision before pushing off the railing to follow her. No doubt there’d be some joke waiting for him at the end of it, and another barb he’d probably just take in silence. He’d tried joking, he’d tried softening, he’d tried giving it right back to her, and none of it, really, had seemed to do a damn bit of good. Maybe he was just trying too hard? Maybe that was where he’d all gone wrong? Maybe it was his trying to fix things that was the problem? It wasn’t like he’d ever been good at it anyway, at least not when the thing being fixed wasn’t someone hurt or hungry.

So it was that Francis had resigned himself to his fate. He’d take her jab, whatever it was, with a shrug and a retort. He wanted to keep her in eyesight anyway, for whatever just in case scenario he needed to fill his head with to make it seem plausible he wasn’t just following after her because everything she wanted to see was that way. It was easy at least, letting his eyes dart about to take in the sights while he trotted along to drop himself into a pace a step behind her. He didn’t know what penguins were, didn’t have the slightest idea, but he figured (as he’d told himself his questions would only be annoying) it was better if he’d just let time shine a light on the answers to his curiosity.

“So penguins and then what?” And he was already holding the map out to her. She seemed to be the one with the plan and, more and more, as his head was getting all the more tangled in the would-be plans he didn’t have, in the ideas he was trying to distance himself from, he was thankful for that. If it had been him trying to come up with a plan? That plan probably would have just been ‘walk around and see stuff’ and even Francis could admit that wasn’t a very good one. At least not if they wanted to see everything -- which they very much did.

Torunn was prepared to say something bitting, something snarky, something snappy and she was prepared to play the game and do whatever it took to make this just seem normal, their normal, their normal little bubble within the bubble that was the weirdness of everyone else’s normal that threatened to collapse upon them. But instead, she just got a few moments of silence and she just sort of took it - hovering just around the corner until she could hear him a few steps behind her - she glanced back over her shoulder, opened her mouth and… she just covered up by wetting her lips with a soft huff, “You are not keeping up.” She said as she started walking again, she wasn’t walking fast by any measure - sure she could have she could have all but bolted out of there but, she wouldn’t. Right now? She was going slow enough to take things in but she wasn’t really in the mood to stop because stopping… turning around mid thought, mid step she began walking backwards, “You know you are the one who wanted to come here. Why do I have to keep making all of the decisions.” She took the map from him with a bit of a, just a bit of an aggressive move of her wrist before she spun back around, her blonde hair becoming more and more unmanageable at this point as she had to shove it out of her face again.

She shouldn’t have snapped at him like that, she was going to regret snapping at him like that. She just wanted to enjoy this, she really did. She wanted to have fun with Francis at the zoo and look at the cute animals and… Torunn wanted to… she wanted to smile again and feel like this were simple and not all twisted up in the pit of her stomach. Why couldn’t she manage that? Why couldn’t she just manage to cull all of her instincts just enough to enjoy just… a nice day with him? It wouldn’t have been the first time she faked it, it probably wouldn’t be the last time because apparently Torunn’s… everything was dead set on breaking down her walls, at breaking down an expertly crafted set of armor she’d kept spotless for five years. And now she was just screwing up.

The irony wouldn’t have been lost on her if she knew he was being, well, basically as stupid as she was. Though Torunn had an acute understanding of things she was fairly sure Francis never would and obviously that’s why she had to stop. “If you do not pick something yourself, you are not going to ever pick where we go, ever again.” Really? That was her cover-up? That was how she was going to try and make this seem more… casual? Dear Gods she was stupid. And she knew what to expect next as she rounded another corner, not even bothering to look at the birds she passed now because that would require catching him in her peripheral. And that? That she was not going to do right now.

If she couldn’t take back saying something so stupid, the least she could do was not have to look him in the eye when he inevitably made fun of her for it again. Made some quip about how much she wanted to spend time with him and how… whatever. All she could do at this point was brace for the impact and how they came upon the penguins quick enough that she’d be able to shut down whatever stupid conversation or thought process it sent her down.

“Or maybe you’re going too fast.” He regretted it as soon as he’d said it. It was the first crack in his resolve and right behind it was the rush of words that he didn’t at all want to say. The problem was really that so much of who he was operated on reflex and muscle memory. The sarcasm, the snapping, the constant jokes and deflection, all the these things were just as much habit for Francis as not. Once they started they just tended to go because that’s what his brain expected, what it had been conditioned to do. This, here, in the tense and awkward quiet of the bird exhibit, wasn’t going to be any different, save for the fact that Francis was going to feel worse about this than he ever had before.

“Besides, you’re the one who told me I couldn’t go alone. You’re the one who made it out like I couldn’t be trusted not to cause a problem.” He wasn’t looking at her, even in spite of the reflex some part of him knew he didn’t want to be doing this at all. It was that part of him that was fighting, even as the words continued to spill out of his mouth. “I didn’t pick this for us -- I didn’t even pick it at all!” Which was true, it hadn’t entirely been his plan to go to the zoo, it was just the plan that had formulated once she’d decided she was coming along with him. “I don’t even know why I wanted to come back to this stupid city.” The thought rounded out with a sharp drop of his voice as he harshly turned his shoulder to her and just stared at the birds.

His heart was beating so loud that his chest hurt and he couldn’t think straight. He was just...it wasn’t ever like this. That was what he knew. Even in the times he’d lost his temper with James (which this barely even would register on that scale), it’d never once felt like it did right now. Francis had always been a hundred percent aware of what he was saying. He chose to say those things to James -- at least when the he hadn’t been talking about Clint. Even that was different with Torunn though, whereas anyone else would have gotten walked the fuck out on for insinuating the name was stupid, Francis had just taken it when she had.

And now he was snapping at her about something totally different unrelated. Now he was being short with her and….and he didn’t even know why. Behind that, in the wake of his outburst, came the raw, cold sweat of panic. What if she actually left? What if she just went back to Knowhere? What if this was the outburst that made her finally leave him alone, just like he’d always been and very secretly had always hated? The thought threatened to strip his legs out from underneath him and, in another uncharacteristic display for Francis Barton, saw him immediately turn and reach out to snatch her by the forearm. He knew he couldn’t hold her back, not if she really wanted to go. She could just wrench away from him, toss him aside, and walk if she wanted to but.

“I -- that’s not --” Francis never stammered but, more than that? Francis never said “...I’m sorry.” His voice wasn’t snappy or hard or edged at all now. In fact it was regret that weighed down his words more than anything. “This is just --” It was stupid is what it was. It was stupid that he was so bothered by this, stupid that he, a man who’d snuck around Ultron city -- the very city he was now standing in a past version of -- and was that it? Was that what this was? Was he just -- or was it -- there were ideas there, bits and pieces clicking into place and -- No. No he was not going to make this about him when he knew damn well what he’d just done.

“I’m glad you came.” He spat the words out, surprising himself in the process. “This is just fucking weird and I don’t know what I want to do and you seemed like you had a plan -- you said you wanted to see everything and that it was stupid to backtrack so -- I just thought -- I’d follow you -- or something.” It was a stark departure from how Francis normally would have handled something like this and just as quick as he’d snatched her arm, he let it go. He tried to turn himself back to the birds. Tried to act like it just hadn’t happened.

“Besides. I’d follow you anywhere.” He didn’t look at her when he said it. He tried to make it sound like a joke, even though part of him was truly awoken to the fact that very little of that statement was anything less than true. “Somebody’s got to catch you if you go falling off things again.”

Because of course he was going to round it out with something stupid.

“So which ones are the penguins?” Because maybe he could just sweep it all under the rug.

Torunn had braced herself for the impact that was coming, she knew it was coming, she knew she’d opened the door and she knew that’d get a reaction out of him. How bad? She hadn’t actually been anticipating just how bad it was going to go. She was braced for some sarcasm, she was braced for being told that there was obviously something to be said about the way that she’d implied  they’d go somewhere again. But that, that she hadn’t even anticipating. She hadn’t been anticipating him to…. Rip into her like that. Francis never spoke to her like that that was something reserved for James and basically James only, at least from Torunn’s perspective.  He’d never snapped at the rest of them like he had James, but… especially never her. Maybe he’d snap, maybe he’d yell if the whole team had screwed up that bad, but actual fights? That tone, she was pretty sure she’d never once heard it directed at her. Not… not like that and when he started and by the time his tone calmed a little and he started talking about basically how she’d screwed his day up (or, at least, of course that’s how her mind was going to interpret it right now, without a doubt)... It hit Torunn like a ton of bricks right to her chest and damn near knocked the wind right out of her as she stood there - but she didn’t, she didn’t stop walking she just… sort of slowed down a little bit. She didn’t actually stop, she just… slowed down because she had no idea what the hell she was doing, she had no idea how to respond to him yelling at her like that.

Part of her, part of Torunn wanted to turn around and scream back at him, but… he was right. He was. She’d invited herself because she’d not trusted him - now, not trusting him may have come from a well meaning a place, a place where she just wanted to make sure he was okay and didn’t get in trouble which would maybe get him stuck there and let him get passport sickness and… 

What hit her more? What hit Torunn even worse than the fact that clearly messed this up for him, beyond the fact that she’d… forced him into a conversation and a situation that he didn’t even want to be in and he’d just wanted to see the city and Francis may not have known why, but Torunn could get it. He wanted to see what it was like without all of the drama and the destruction and maybe get a little bit of a glimpse at a place that both his parents had lived in, some version of it at least. Some version of the city before it had been mechanized and made into Ultron’s domain and she got it, she did and she’d screwed that up for him. Because what, because she hadn’t trusted him to stay out of trouble? That only made it worse. She was supposed to trust Francis and… she did she just…

But the time he’d fully turned away she’d stopped her slow walk and was sort of just standing there. This was her fault, she’d been braced for the response anyway and she just stood there and clenched her eyes closed tightly as she waited for the rest of it and then…

Then he’d grabbed her arm and every inch of her body suddenly just hurt. She couldn’t breathe and her stomach was in knots and she couldn’t open her eyes and she was so glad so glad that he didn’t try and turn her around, that he only grabbed her. At least he hadn’t tried to turn her around because, right now? Right now Torunn was still bracing herself. She was just bracing for the impact to be even worse and she was just waiting for…

Was that a… had Francis just apologized? Her eyes slowly opened as he spoke and she just… listened. And there, right there was a very important distinction between the way that her and her younger brother handled things. James would have flown right off the handle, Torunn? Torunn just shouldered the blame and stood there and took it. She may have, in some situations, yelled back - but this? When Francis was apologizing and he was just being honest, even if it was a little harsh in application… She had forced herself on the situation. That wasn’t his fault and she was willing to shoulder that blame but… Torunn had every intention of saying  she was fine or that he didn’t need to apologize, she had so many options for what she could say and as he let go of her arm and he stepped away Torunn made a decision she was fairly sure she’d never made in her life.

She said nothing. None of her options were good, none of them fixed the situation. All she could do was… she sort of half glanced over her shoulder, biting down on her lower lip before she just… started walking again. Him saying he’d follow her anywhere churned at her stomach in a way that was almost impossible for her to hold back but, somehow she managed and… “They are around the next corner.” She said simply.

As uncomfortable as all this was, there was at least something familiar about it. Francis would not have said he preferred that, but it was true nevertheless. It took the shape of a gnawing, impossible, weight. It dragged at his shoulders, down his spine, and grew roots in his stomach. It made him want to say a million and one things. It made him want to turn and walk the opposite was as Torunn. It made him want to shrug his shoulders and, despite how it was going to crush him, admit he’d just ruined the day. He wanted to just call the whole thing off, to keep dismissing what had just happened like he always did. He wanted to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal, like he really didn’t care…

He wanted to do it so bad. It was his every instinct to keep it going...but...look where all of his instincts had gotten him lately. Since coming to Knowhere, almost everything had been messed up. Shit with Bobbi, Shit with Clint, shit with fucking James...in fact the only thing that hadn’t been messed up on a personal level was his friendship with Torunn...and now...now he was pretty sure he was screwing that up too. It was that, that point, which would see him pushing away from the birds  and actually jogging to catch up with her.

“Tori, wait up.” It was taking the exact opposite of what he thought he should do, and doing that instead. “I know, I know, Francis you’re so slow…” He wasn’t, they both knew that. Still, as he rounded around her, doing his best to bring himself to try and look her face to face, as hard as that was, it went in line with exactly what he was trying to right now.

“But hey. Listen. I….I mean it.” He. Did. Not. Want. to be saying any of this, it made him feel strange, almost like he was sick to his stomach to even think about the words, but maybe that was the whole point of it. Maybe the trick really was to do what made him feel sick and gross, to do what she’d roll her eyes at and say ‘Francis’ in that way she always said it (that he’d kill to hear right now). He didn’t know. He didn’t have a fucking clue. What he did know was that she was the only person in his life right now that he had any connection to from where he’d been and…

And he didn’t care how sick it made him feel or how stupid she’d tell him he was. If it made her stay, if it made things okay? He’d do it. There was nothing he wouldn’t do. Nothing he wouldn’t say, to make that happen.

“I’m glad you came. If I thought you wouldn’t hate it, I would have invited you anyway.” Because that was the thing he didn’t want to say most. He didn’t want to seem needy, like he couldn’t do something like this on his own. He didn’t want to seem like he had to depend on anyone….but the truth of it was that he did. “I just...that place is fucking weird and…” And he didn’t, wouldn’t bring up James, but it wouldn’t have been hard to follow his tone through to the end of it. “...And this place is fucking weird...but I shouldn’t...that’s not your fault. Besides, it’s like you always say…” He tried to flash her a weak smile. “I can be an idiot sometimes. For all we know I might have actually tried to ride that Bison thing…”

He paused, letting the words hang for a pair of breaths before he nodded back over his shoulder and turned himself to be standing beside her instead of blocking her way.

“Can we go see the penguins now?” And, as if it wasn’t already a day of firsts…”Please?”

Torunn hated when he called her that, not for any reason someone might expect, but because when he called her Tori some part of her just sort of wanted to smile. It was easier to keep that at bay when he was saying it sarcastically or using it as a jab on the next work - right now? It pulled at the corners of her lips just a little, just enough for her to… feel better? He wouldn’t have said it right now if it hadn’t meant it and it wasn’t like she really didn’t think he did mean he was sorry. Francis didn’t apologize. He wasn’t going to apologize if he didn’t damn well mean it and just… she knew that, that’s why she’d just let it go - she figured he’d want her to just let it go, let it just be something that happened, something she’d desperately wish she’d wake up the next morning and just forget he’d said, just… move on and look at the cute little penguins waddling around their little exhibit that was just far away enough still to be just out of sight. She hadn’t had any intention of actually leaving him there or walking away, at least not beyond where the penguins were. She also had no intention of throwing any little jabs at him, even though that seemed to be what he expected? Right now she was just trying to… respect? Yeah, respect that he’d clearly wanted this to just be an over and done with thing and she just sort of wanted to move on from it too, honestly, so she’d been willing to let that happen, no matter how much that meant she had to hold back.

Then he was stood in front of her and damn him for being around her height because she couldn’t not look at his face without making it too obvious that she was avoiding his eyes and that would be bad, that would be really bad because then maybe he’d she didn’t know, maybe then he’d… notice?

“I know you mean it, you are not always a liar.” She said, looking him straight in the face, the last part tacked on for nothing more than the fact that he was expecting a jab, so she’d give him… a little one, a little bit of a playful jab that she all but had to force out. She wasn’t sure if she really did or not. There was a whole bunch of emotions there, a whole mess of emotions where she wanted to believe him, Gods did she want to believe him, and that was so selfish of her. It wasn’t right for her to even let that thought cross her mind again. It wasn’t right but she… she did. On every level, she didn’t want to lose Francis and if he thought she didn’t believe him? That might push him away but… Could she believe him? What if he was only saying it because he was being selfish and he didn’t really mean it. But he still didn’t want to be here alone, what if he didn’t mean it at all and was only saying it because then she wouldn’t leave? She wouldn’t have left him here alone anyway and… if he didn’t actually mean it that would have hurt so much more… So so much more.

Without realizing it, she just sort of shrugged when he said the rest of it. It was the only reaction her brain could process that didn’t make her say something way too emotional. Say something that cracked right through everything she was holding back. Because right now? Torunn was fairly sure she’d never held back this much in her life. Even when it came to talking about Thor, even when it came to getting upset at James for doing something totally rash and poorly thought out, even when it came to tell Az and Pym they needed to stop with the games. Torunn held back a lot these days, but starring Francis in the face? That topped the list, easily.

Pulling her bottom lip harshly through her teeth she motioned past him as he moved to her side, “We are almost at the penguins, if you hadn’t been standing in my way we could already be looking at them.” It was all she could manage to say really, to force that matter-of-fact neutrality that her siblings and Francis expected of her out there.

“I wouldn’t lie about that anyway.” Which wasn’t to say he wouldn’t lie, because he certainly would, but about that? No. He wouldn’t lie to her about wanting her here, really he’d be hard pressed to lie to Torunn at all. He might not always tell her the truth, might shut himself up to avoid saying things he was certain she didn’t want to hear, but that was different. He wouldn’t have…”I just...I wanted you to know that.” He returned her shrug. Whatever else might have been there, whatever a smarter person might have caught? That was lost to being a language he didn’t yet know how to hear. He just...he’d wanted her to know and she said she believed him…

For now, as he fell into step beside her on the way to the penguins, that would have to be enough. Besides, if he’d even tried to say anything else? Well...instincts he could fight, but his reflexes? Those weren’t going to give him a break. They wouldn’t let him take his walls down yet and they might not ever for all Francis knew. Right now, with how things were so all over the place, with how his every sense and nerve felt on edge? Even if he’d wanted to go further with what he said, he simply couldn’t.  Unless Torunn had put him on the spot right then and there, unless she’d refused to go another step with him, his statements were the current plateau.

Fortunately at least, it seemed to be enough. Even her little bite about how he was in her way -- because when was that probably not the case? -- didn’t really bother him much. There were probably at least a dozen more of those on the way and, if he was really honest with himself, Francis  felt like he deserved every last one of them. He’d be mad at himself for weeks for the way he’d just been sharp at her. Torunn didn’t deserve that. Of all the people he knew, she was lowest on the list and...and he just shouldn’t have let it happen.

Hands were stuffed in the pocket of his jacket as they walked and his gaze half glued to the floor. He should have probably been paying more attention to the birds, to Torunn, but he was so wrapped up in the guilt he felt over what he’d done that it was just too hard to hold his head up. At least the penguins weren’t far now, at least they could be a good distraction, a new thing to witness and experience that might help yank him from the cyclical nature of his thoughts. As it was, when they did finally break into view, when Francis got his first look at the strange looking birds as they waddled back and forth near their water enclosure, he just shrugged again.

“At least they’ve got good colors.” Because there was an obvious bias there, even if it was about as weak as the joke he’d just tried to make.

“I know.” It was the last acknowledgement Torunn would give to the situation that happened, at least out loud, at least to him. She had a feeling that… she couldn’t shake that she was going to sit up in her bunk in the morning and just have to… sit there.. Remembering that he said that was going to… it was going to sting and she’d probably run it over in her head a hundred times as a justification of why she’d continue to hold herself back, it didn’t matter that she believed him (at least 99% believed him…) that he hadn’t meant it, that he was just thrown off by everything, the he would have invited her if he hadn’t thought she’d just hate it. Which that last part? Again, she’d put blame on herself. She’d been anything but shy about not wanting to go down to Earth, not wanting to feel like it was fake because a blue sky like the one outside? That’s what it triggered in her, it triggered a feeling like she was walking through a  dream, a nightmare, something that just wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real, skies weren’t blue like that. Except there - they were here on Midgard, they were on Xandar too from what she heard, and she know that Asgard had a blue sky as well… so it was a stupid way to be and all it did was help justify to her that she was in the wrong here. Justify the fact that she thought she was being stupid, or something. Maybe she’d run out of excuses one day - today was decidedly not that day.

Torunn was just fine with walking the last bit in silence, she just wanted to see the damn penguins at this point. She was excited to see the penguins and not talk about this, not think about this and let it go - leave it like it was a piece of trash to be dropped and now that it was out of sight around the corner?

Just leave it there.

She wouldn’t have been able to tell you the last few birds they passed and the closer they got to the penguins, the more awkward Torunn felt. She wanted to toy with her hair, but she held back hard on that instinct. She wanted to shove her hands into the pockets of the black jeans she had on, but then it might make it look like she felt awkward. Instead? She just sort of took the last few steps a little too quickly and put her hands against the railing, looking in on the little waddling creatures in the exhibit.

Totally worth it. They were absolutely adorable. It may not have totally cleared her mind, it definitely didn’t change that knowledge in the back of her head that she was going to wake up in the morning and regret so much of what had transpired between them verbally. It wasn’t going to change that knowledge in the back of her mind that she’d screwed up, that she was a problem. But what it did manage? What it did manage to pull a barely there smile to the corners of her lips as one of the penguins just shoved another one into the water and made this weird little not-a-squawk not-a-chirp sort of noise she’d never heard before and just waddled off to gently walk itself into the water on the other side of the enclosure. It was, rightfully hilarious, and actually she would have laughed if a little bit if that weight hadn’t still been there.

Rolling her eyes she gave Francis a little sigh, “The ones with the little mohawks are more cute.” She said, offhandedly as she watched one penguin in particular try to make his way around to the very edge of the ‘sand’ in the enclosure, either trying to get up close to the glass or just seeing how far he could waddle on the far edge to jump in - whichever option wasn’t quite clear yet.

LIke Torunn, Francis was… well. He was quiet on the rest of the walk. Content would have been the word for it. Preoccupied might have been closer. Sure there were about fifteen million things hovering in the back of his mouth, but Francis didn’t trust himself to let a single one of them out. Maybe Torunn was more right than Francis had wanted to admit. Maybe he really couldn’t  be trusted not to do something stupid, just not in the way she meant. Maybe he was a total idiot for thinking this would be a good idea, for letting himself get excited about any of this (which he realized now he had been when Torunn said she was coming). Maybe he really should just suggest they leave, to get away from this, so they weren’t...

He would have missed it if it he hadn’t been looking at the back of her profile, if he hadn’t been watching her face for some sign she hated this as much as he was trying to convince himself she did, that calling all this off really was the best idea. All of that was then right out the window when he caught that faint little smile. Torunn didn’t really do expressions very much, she was all... What he assumed from what Clint had told him about Thor and the Avengers, Asgardian like that. It was where that accent came from, or so Francis had always reasoned. He knew that reading her was a lot more difficult than it could be with some people, which was a skill Francis was probably an amateur in at best, but that tiny expression?

It was enough for him.

“You’re not wrong about that.” He agreed in a tone that skirted his usual aloofness again, forged as it was. He just let his eyes settle on the penguins, seemed to watch them play at shoving each other in the water where they zipped about much more gracefully than they did on land. That obviously impressed him as his eyes dialed in and watched them swim about, only to pop back out of the water and shove another one back in. That drew a low chuckle out of Francis. “They look like they’re having fun…” He let his voice trail slightly as he settled himself into a faint lean up against the divider before dropping to his haunches to stretch for a moment.

He didn’t really know what else to say though so he just...he stood there. He just watched the birds, annoyingly trying (and failing) to fight the reflex of his eyes to slip around to keep an eye on her. Or more to look at her. Why did he keep doing that? Why did he feel the need to keep shifting closer to her? She was fine. She was smiling. It was him that was fucked up and feeling weird and why was he trying to lean on her like she’d make it feel better? All that had done was make it worse. So, Francis would just lock his knees and watch the penguins until she said something or moved on for him to follow.

She almost didn’t catch the fact that he’d spoken, she was so zoned in on the way the penguins were making her feel and how adorable they were. Torunn was so busy watching the way the penguins seemed to follow each other around, the way they just playfully shoved each other and walked around in their little lines. The way they dove under the ducks or whatever the little quacking animals were that swam around the little enclosure. She’d thought penguins were the sort of thing that lived on icy edges of the planet where she’d never thought to go or see - but the sign was telling her other wise and that’s where she’d focused, not really catching his words at first. She’d made herself good and distracted because she wanted to know what the penguins were doing on the sand when something told her she should have expected ice and then all-of-a-sudden it clicked that he’d said something.

“I am usually right.” She answered, her tone of voice clearly distracted - though at least it was because of something positive and not that her mind was going somewhere else again, she was just… the way they waddled like that. She imagined this must have been why places like a zoo were so popular? How cute it was to just.. Watch these carefully curated animals just waddle or walk or squawk their way around their enclosures. It must have been why they were so popular, even if you couldn’t actually touch them (the fact that there may have been a petting zoo where you actually could didn’t even register to Torunn, it wasn’t something she even thought would be a thing, let alone something she expected them to actually have just a fairly short walk away, all things considered).

It was his chuckle that actually made her look up though, it was a welcomed sound after what… had just occurred and the bits of awkwardness and she couldn’t help but smile a bit more at it. She wasn’t really sure why, okay that was stupid - she knew why. But she wasn’t going to go back there, she was just going to enjoy the fact that he did chuckle and go with it. That was her only goal for the rest of this outing, going with it. “Of course they are having fun.” She looked over towards him and motioned towards the four or five of them waddling around in a line, “They do not have anything to do but have fun with each other.” It was such a stupid nonsensical statement and she didn’t have any idea what it even meant herself and it made her immediately look back towards the enclosure, hand gripping at the railing again as she tried to hide the fact that she was moderately embarrassed that she’d said it.

She’d almost actually said something about having all of their friends in there with them, about how it was hard not to have fun if you were just hanging around like that with your friend and just hanging out on a cute little beach but it sounded equally as stupid and then… sure there’d been a blip in her mind about how that might have been an incredibly sore subject right now. A subject she didn’t even want to broach for a moment. She could handle it, maybe. She could handle talking about friends just… maybe. She wasn’t really sure, though. And so what had she done instead? Stumbled out some obviously nonsensical sentence that just… wow.

“I don’t know about usually, sometimes maybe.” He was teasing her again, without looking away from the exhibit or the way the birds marched around. If that was how things were working for them, then Francis wasn’t going to question it. He’d just ignore the instincts, which right now told him to shut up and not say anything. It told him to ignore the fact she’d said anything because if he did, he’d just make it worse. It told him he should just keep his mouth shut and, since ignoring those very strong instincts and reflexes actually seemed to be making some kind of positive progress? Well, that’s the direction he’d keep right on going until it didn’t anymore. “More often than not at least.”

A lot of what Francis had said there, and perhaps where the idea had come from at all, was largely born of just how distracted he was by the sights in front of him. He didn’t know what to expect when they’d first come into the place, or really the zoo on the whole, but this was by far the thing he’d expected the least. He thought honestly it had to do with the fact there were more kinds of birds than he’d been expecting, certainly of more shapes, sizes and colors too. He thought maybe it was because of the habitats they were in or how, unlike some of the other animals, they seemed completely unbothered by the presence of the two blondes on the other side of the glass.

It wasn’t until Torunn’s follow up that Francis would turn, honestly so surprised to hear that combination of words, that reference, come out out of her mouth that he’d been completely unable to hide it for a moment. It took a solid breath before he managed to tuck it away. Again, his instinct told him to shut up. Again, he felt his stomach twist around in violent protest to whatever words he might have even thought to form. Again, aided by the distraction of the little penguins marching and swimming, Francis Barton was able to swallow it and shove it aside. He was absolutely certain that what he was about to say was wrong, that he shouldn’t have said it more than anything else he could think to say, and that was exactly why he was going to say it.

“Kind of like you and me right now.” He didn’t look at her when he said it, but he said it all the same. The truth was that he was having fun and that was in the tone. The truth was that all they really had to do here was have fun, and that too was there. There even the unspoken sentiment, the one that twisted in his stomach in a very different way, about how it was hard to not have fun when all your friends were there. Then there was that much harsher and less pleasant but no less true feeling that Francis was here with all his friends.

That one made his shoulders sink a little, but likely not enough that anyone would have noticed,

“So, will you tell me what the signs say this time?” He actually asked her even before he took a longer lean into the railing to make himself comfortable, a sign he had every intention of staying right where he was for at least a few more minutes.

Torunn huffed, but didn’t respond further. Right now she wasn’t sure if she preferred the silence or the odd tone their conversation seemed to have taken. It wouldn’t have seemed odd to anyone else but.. To her standing here? To her standing here knowing how things normally were and knowing what helse had been said today, what else she’d thought today? She really wasn’t sure if she preferred this weird faux-normal sort of tone they were taking or if she’d have preferred just a little bit more silence. Just a few more moments of… figuring out how to get her head on straight because, right now? Right now all she knew how to do was put one foot in front of the other (metaphorically speaking, since she definitely hadn’t moved yet) and just… continue on. Continue on pretending like this was just… fine. Because it was, of course it was, nothing was weird and nothing was going to be weird when they got back to Knowhere. Except, even standing there huffing off his mild-compliment, his tacit agreement that she was usually right, his playful way of backtracking just enough to not actually agree with her - she knew things being weird when they got back was inevitable. Even if it was just because of her. So she did her best, she just rolled her eyes to follow up the huff - she knew she was usually right anyway, she didn’t need to justify his statement when she’d already said as much.

It was the most guarded thing she could think of to think, it was the most wall building train of thought she could force herself into.

She would have been glad for that wall she’d started building back up after what she’d said about fun… but, as it was totally for the better, she managed to turn herself away, back to the exhibit quickly enough to miss his reaction. Her ears picked up on his harsh breath, the way it seemed almost out of place but she didn’t overthink it. She wasn’t going to let herself over think anything else. No, she wasn’t going to do that. No. Torunn was going to force herself to be committed to taking everything at surface value. This was Francis, after all and if she could expect one thing obviously it was for him to say whatever he meant.

The fact that that was inherently contradictory as an idea didn’t even register to Torunn at the moment, it wasn’t important. There was probably something poetic that could be said about denial here but, she wasn’t one to make puns.

It took a moment but out of nowhere she elbowed him lightly in the side, “You can read, Francis.” She said, though it was a bit awkwardly quiet - just awkwardly quiet enough that she was conscious that it had been. Just awkwardly quiet enough that she knew to not skip a beat in speaking further so he had no opportunity to respond to that fact. “But for the record, it explains that penguins do not only live in places like Antarctica like many people think and that many of them live on islands around the southern part of South America.” The words capes and peninsulas were a little too unfamiliar for her to bother with right now, so she left them out of her explanation as she stood there - eyes forward on the adorable little creatures in front of them.

“I know I can.” And this part wasn’t sarcastic. “I just like it when you do.” Again, entirely genuine. More genuine than he meant even, and this one made him bristle with his own blend of awkwardness for a moment. Why did he say that? What purpose did that even remotely serve? Why didn’t he do what he’d been doing and ignore that reflex in him to say things and do the opposite? Why did he like it when she read the signs so much? Whatever truth might have been there, whatever long dormant memory, buried under layers of distance and denial, might have come up about the last time a blonde woman had read to him, was well out of Francis’ reach at the moment. All he knew was that he did like it, that he shouldn’t have said it, and that no small part of him was comforted when she did.

It was annoying. It was stupid. It was awkward and made his stomach feel funny again in a way that was very different from all his usual stomach feelings today.

“Do you think all zoos are just full of animals that live on islands?” Another, entirely genuine, question. It was a rare glimpse into a Francis that was uncomfortable as hell with his own curiosity, but was letting it come out anyway. It was another example of Francis rebelling against his own instincts, stomping down the reflex to be sarcastic or snide, and just...be. “I mean I guess probably not with the birds back there, but sea dogs…” Because he stuck by the fact he was never going to call them lions again. “...that Madagascar place, and now these guys. I didn’t even know there were so many islands.” There was a sense of irony there, considering a large portion of Francis’ life had been spent so close to Long Island, but Francis didn’t have the space left in his brain for it to register.

There was another chuckle from Francis as, once again, another penguin pushed one of its friends into the water. He honestly didn’t know why he found that as amusing as he did, but there were a lot of feelings bumbling around inside him he couldn’t understand at the moment. So instead he just focused on watching it swim, even dropped down to a crouch for a moment to get a better look at it as it swam by, tapping on the rail to try and catch its attention as it did so.

“These ones should have fish you can feed too.” He commented, again without thinking and again in a way that annoyed him. Why was he talking so much? Why were there more words coming out of his mouth. “I’d stay here for awhile if they did.” So far, feeding the sea dogs was still his favorite part...but it was rapidly about to be eclipsed the longer she was willing to let them stay here in front of these penguins.

The next movement Torunn made - to fairly aggressively turn away and walk to the other side of the enclosure under some attempted guise of...  whatever it was she had no idea - was anything but subtle. But she couldn’t help it, it’d been such an instantaneous reaction because the second he’d said that he liked the way she read to him her face all but turned bright red. She couldn’t help it. The combination of being so raw on so many levels about so many things right now and then the tone he said it in and the fact that he’d said it at all and then there was that stupid sliver, just a tiny little sliver, that was fighting the rest of her - that little sliver that was telling her how stupid she was being, how irrational walling herself back up was, how childish it was to not just be honest with him or something or other. That stupid little sliver won over for just long enough to make her god damn blush and she couldn’t believe it. She was usually so good about holding that back but it was just sort of… the perfect storm of emotions and exhaustion on a mental level and the setting and the… screw him.

Screw Francis Barton, damn it. This was entirely unfair and uncalled for. Again, the Asgardian wasn’t prone to expletives but… there was decidedly a string of them that went through her head that probably would have made James or Francis a bit proud of their entirely diabolical influence on her. If only because she figured there was no reasonable way to cover up the way she’d reacted at all and now she was going to have to walk around here for the rest of the day with him making god damn fun of her because he’d made her blush again and that was going to be awful, it was going to be tantamount to torture for the tall blonde woman.

And she honestly figured there was just no way avoiding it at this point so she mimicked his own action, crouching down to get a more water-level look at things, figuring if there was any chance to lessen the blow that was just about the only way. Not that she really believed it, but hey a girl could try or something.

“I believe zoos attempt to replicate things most people would not otherwise see.” There was a certain level of awkwardness to her tone that Torunn was attempting to cover up but not doing a very convincing job of, though she continue to speak anyway for whatever reason had possessed her. “I am guessing islands are not normal for most people.” They certainly weren’t for her, she knew they weren’t for Francis either and with how small most islands were and how difficult travel there must have been - she figured it was at least a reasonable guess. A reasonable guess she basically sputtered out as a distraction as she moved to fiddle with her hair, making sure not to pushing it back out of habit - allowing her face to remain obscured as she looked into the clear water of the exhibit.

Francis knew that look, even if all he’d seen was her turning away. It was something very specific, something Francis usually aimed for ever since the first time he’d called her beautiful. He thought it was...well he thought it was cute the way she blushed like that. It was only more so by the way she’d get so huffy, the way she’d stomp and deny it. He didn’t really know why he thought that but, well, he’d been slowly building an idea over time. It wasn’t an idea that had ever made a whole lot of sense, not with everyone else around, but here, now, standing in the zoo looking at penguins? There wasn’t really a way for Francis to deny it.

It’d last only a second, but it was easy to see the way his eyes settled on her for a moment, looking at her in a very different way than he might have normally, before he just...he smiled. He didn’t say anything sarcastic, he didn’t say anything mean. He didn’t even tease her about it, at least not at first. He just sat there, tapping on the glass while she gave her answer and watching as one of the penguins began circling around where they were crouched. It, like the way Torunn was playing with her hair -- which he couldn’t seem to stop looking at out of the corner of his eye -- it was a stalling tactic mostly. It was something to cover up the uncertain...well Francis didn’t even know what to call it.

He just knew he’d never really noticed it before.

“Does that mean they have a something somewhere that made you blush? Because not a lot of people get to see that.” Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Francis had honestly tried to have it come out nicer than that, to make some observation of it that wasn’t so pointedly calling out what had just happened and, quite spectacularly so, he’d failed. Even that smile he’d followed it up with, one that was supposed to underline the fact that he was just being playful and not trying to be a jerk, probably didn’t help. It probably didn’t help at all and there was the immediate panic of what he should do next.

Should he say something? Should he apologize? Should he just act like nothing happened? Why was he even worrying about this so much? It wasn’t like that was even out of character for him to say and he felt like he’d at least tried to show he wasn’t being a jerk about it. Torunn would probably call him a jerk anyway. He just shouldn’t have said anything was what it ultimately came down to in the end, and he had. Because she was right, Francis was an idiot.

“Which is kind of too bad.” A huge, huge idiot. “I did tell you though, red looks good on you.” Which he said entirely genuinely in another attempt to cover up what he’d just added to this messy pile that was his complete inability to shut the fuck up right now -- one that he didn’t even know where it was coming from.

“So...what do you think this guy’s story is?” Francis tried to change the subject, nodding toward  penguin that seemed all too interested in them, though it did have a seeming bias towards Torunn. Francis thought that made sense -- wait, he did? Why did  that make sense? Obviously it made sense because Torunn was great -- but he was great too -- seriously what the fuck was wrong with him? Why was he being so dumb? Why did his chest and face fell all warm?

For fucks sake. Francis scolded himself with his thoughts, trying to focus on the Penguin and nothing else. Let her answer and shut up.

Rattling off her response, Torunn just sort of idly picked up the way Francis was tapping on the glass - it was a comforting sound when it was all that filled the gap between her words and what she was hoping was more silence or just a response about the penguins.  Of course it was an entirely naive hope, entirely naive. She’d just been so hoping that she’d gotten away with it. Gotten away with letting him make her blush again. She… she resented that he could do it so easily in a very weird way, it wasn’t real anger, no not really. It wasn’t real resentment, but she didn’t have a better word for it? It also didn’t help that Torunn certainly didn’t want to admit that she was actually quite embarrassed by his compliment. By any compliments that were meant with sencity at that. It wasn’t that Torunn wasn’t able to admit she was good at things, no, the Asgardian was quite brash with the fact that she damn well knew what she was good at and she damn well knew that when she was good at something? She was better than most people at it. It just… Torunn didn’t like compliments. Not one’s said like that at least, not from him at least. That had always been a problem. It had always been different when it was coming from one of her brothers, she had always brushed that off as the fact that she was just used to it, coupled with the fact that Francis just… he said things differently, there was always another type of edge to his compliments.

And her brothers certainly never called her beautiful to catch her off guard.

But this hadn’t been like that and then he’d called her out on it and it only made her face go more red which only served to frustrate Torunn but she couldn’t, she wouldn’t get testy with him right now. She was determined to not get testy with him right now. Getting testy with him right now, even her normal level, could backfire so bad. If he was already acting this stressed out, already had enough bubbling under the surface to snap at her anyway? Torunn wouldn’t risk it, if she risked it he might… she didn’t know. But she’d take the embarrassment over the other options any day. There was a decisive Francis that threatened to escape her lips as she crouched there, refusing to look over at him just as much as she was completely avoiding a verbal response to his tease, as much as she was avoiding saying even a single word about how he called her out on what was the absolute truth. She wasn’t going to risk it. Nope. Instead? She bit down harshly on her lower lip - enough to almost make it hurt before she sucked it up and rolled her eyes, letting a harsh breath out of her nostrils because of course he had to go and make it worse. Of course he had to rub it in further. It twisted in her stomach in a way that was so unmistakable that if she thought she’d been able to lie to herself before? That plan was sure as hell right out the window.

That was not good. Not good at all.

The irony there was, had Torunn just had the audacity to actually look at Francis she would have realized how off point she was about everything. She’d have realized he was smiling not smirking. She’d have realized that it wasn’t… that… well, it was obviously too late for that anyway because she was already resigned to just sheepishly watching the little penguin swim around in front of them. She felt like she could relate to the little guy, though she didn’t quite like the feeling of being watched so much, of having eyes on her - though she felt like her’s were more metaphorical, because no one had to actually be looking at her right now to solidify her embarrassment. “I believe he just enjoys the attention.” She said - giving the side of the hand Francis was using to tap at the glass a little prod. Though her hand may have moved, the rest of her was stalwart in the fact that it didn’t so much as lean towards him, unflinching in that she was able to prod him with her own finger without so much as a glance out of the side of her eye.

“See, and here I just thought he was the brave and curious one, maybe the one who’s tired of walking in lines and wanted to go see giants or something.” It was probably really stupid, but if he focused on coming up with some dumb, imaginary, story about the penguin who was interested them, it kept him from thinking about anything else. That really was the goal here, to keep out the fucking weird thoughts in his head, to shut out the weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, to pretend that maybe nothing was going on here at all -- because he sure as fuck couldn’t sort it out if there was (and there was) so it was better to just shove it all off underneath like it was nothing. That was the Francis Barton way after all.

“Maybe he does just like the attention though.” Like Torunn, Francis didn’t so much as move when he felt the prod to his hand. There was a reflex there, to take her hand again like he had in the Madagascar place, but why? She seemed fine in here. She was blushing even, something Francis knew damn well she wouldn’t have done if she was upset. Maybe a less arrogant and presumptive person might not have put things together that way, but Francis knew Torunn to be unmoveable in any way she didn’t want to be, so assuming that applied to her expressions only seemed to make sense -- unless you were just awesome like he was and managed to catch her off guard.

“I can’t say that I blame him. We’re pretty great.” It was a stark removal from how Francis would normally say things. Sure, touting himself up was nothing new, even paying compliments about Torunn weren’t, but simultaneously combining them together? That wasn’t something Francis normally did. “Or maybe he just wants to bust out of here and go see the world. I mean, he’s dressed pretty fancy for it, maybe he’s got somewhere to be.” Francis tapped his finger on the glass again. “Sorry bud, I don’t think you’d like it where we’re going -- you’d probably like it more than where we came from though --” Which, again, so focused was he on getting outside of his head and the feelings in his gut that Francis didn’t even realize just what he’d said. “Plus Tori has a cat and I don’t think cats and birds get along?”

There was another pause as a decidedly somber thought rolled along the back of his tongue and out his mouth.

“Plus all your friends are here. You’d miss ‘em.” Which...which made Francis realize that maybe he and the penguin had more in common than just their penchant for black and white color schemes. He didn’t miss James, maybe he would eventually, but that was probably because of what had happened. He didn’t miss Pym, but that was because that guy was just annoying. He maybe missed Azari a little, maybe the robo-head Vision too. Betsy he did, he could say that, but he could write it off as she was with Hulk. They were happy, or so he liked to think anyway.

And then there was Torunn who Francis suddenly very much realized that, even if she’d just been back on Knowhere instead of here with him, he’d have missed her very, very, much.

That made Francis shut up all at once.

No sooner had Torunn realized her hand was just sort of awkwardly close to Francis’ now, than she pulled it back - immediately moving to fiddle with that bit of hair that kept her face obscured again. Immediately moving back to fiddling awkwardly as if he didn’t know her well enough to know precisely what she was doing - it was stupid and she knew it but she had no idea what else to do at this point because she was sure her face was still bright red and she just… she didn’t want to talk about it, she didn’t want to admit to it. She’d spent years doing exactly, decidedly, not either of those things and she didn’t think the zoo was the place to start. Not when they were both clearly just being reactionary to their surroundings, clearly just on edge because everything was so loud and new and bright and shiny and for the most part… clean. At least by their standards it was clean. Nothing was rubble. It may have been a little dingy or clearly well visited, but it was definitely clean compared to what they were used to and there she went again, he brain was already rattling off all these irrelevant things because all she wanted to do was avoid something she had for years and now she just, damn it. She shouldn’t have touched his hand.

“It may be both.” The answer was brief, it was simple. At least it was a response, though, because at this point Torunn would have been more than happy to go back to silence and just wallow in the fact that she was acting like a silly little girl who didn’t know how to act around a boy who was one of, no probably just was, her best friend. They were adults and clearly that had changed nothing in regards to Torunn’s ability to deal with this and it almost, almost made her wish James was here except that… selfishly, absolutely selfishly she didn’t. James being here would have been what it… what it had always been, a distraction. He would have been loud and needy and wanted all the attention and probably gotten them kicked out or something. So it was better he wasn’t here. It was better that they were alone. And then there it was, the word felt awkward in her mouth and she just sort of… slowly stood up - a motion that caused the little penguin to take a little dive, just to pop up out of the water almost immediately again and swim in a little circle to watch her change of position.

She sighed softly, in her very normal sort of way. She wasn’t entirely sure how she’d managed it but she was going to go with it for now. “Francis, he is not that type of bird.” Her tone wasn’t quite normal, but at least the sentiment was? At least the idea behind the way she’d said his name, even if something was just a little off about it was perfectly normal. Normal enough that she felt comfortable tucking that little bit of hair back - just sort of hoping there wasn’t any sort of lingering bit of colour in her cheeks. Just sort of hoping it would seem like she was ignoring Francis, which was entirely normal and not… something else.

The comment about friends, however? That was a bit too much for Torunn. Francis may have been resigned to the fact that she was his only friend left, at least as far as he saw it, but for Torunn? Those were her brothers… and… even if James had been so cruel and shoved them away and not checked in with them and… He was still her brother. And it was all just a bit much for her and…, “Are you hungry yet?” She questioned idly. There were more birds to see - not that she really had an interest in anything but the flamingos and eagles (if only because those were the only two species she knew they had from photos outside that she’d recognized… well and vultures, but she’d seen enough vultures to never want to see one again,frankly). But right now, Torunn just… sort of wanted to be back outside, in the open. Not cooped up in this awkwardly close quartered and entirely too devoid of other people hallway.

Truth be told, she could have watched the penguins for quite a bit longer but… her chest was already feeling much too tight and she’d already been far too stupid so she was just sort of hoping that fresh air would help.

So. That hadn’t worked either. It caused Francis to hold back a sigh of frustration. It wasn’t for Torunn, it wasn’t at Torunn, but he didn’t even want to risk it being taken that way. The truth was, as it had so often been as of late, that Francis was frustrated with himself. He’d always known he was bad at talking to people, at being social in any kind of real way. He hadn’t known how bad until he gotten to Knowhere, until he’d tried to talk about things with those other than his friends and team. Now he was starting to see that he was just plain bad at it in general and...and it was just fucking frustrating.

“Could be.” Because, like Torunn, he didn’t want it to seem like he was ignoring the conversation. Obviously Torunn wasn’t interested in his little made-up story, so he was content to drop it there. It was probably stupid anyway. It was probably just so dumb to her that she wanted no part of it. He couldn’t really say that he blamed her. It was pretty stupid. It had just seemed like something easy, something removed from everything that had just happened, and Francis had admittedly been hopeful that maybe it would cut the tension from the air. For all he knew, maybe it had, maybe he was just making it up. Maybe it was all just in his stupid head.

Either way, there was absolutely no denying what a relief it was that she said his name like that. It was such a strange feeling and it only got worse when he didn’t feel that usual reflex to ‘what?’ at her or say something snippy. It actually made him smile a little as he joined her, pushing to his feet when she did despite the way the penguin seem to bob about in what Francis felt like was a protest to his departure. He tried not to let it make him feel bad. He really did and, when he heard her question follow up, that made it a lot easier. Really, everything was easier when he could just focus on Torunn...and that was...well it didn’t matter what that was. It was just true.

“I could eat.” Which was his way of saying he wasn’t hungry but that it didn’t matter. He’d learned, like they all had really, that food wasn’t something you turned away because you weren’t hungry. You ate when there was food because you didn’t know when you might eat again. Even if that was no longer true with where they were now -- which was its own very unique blend of strange -- Francis had long ago become conditioned to eating when he wasn’t hungry. Plus, he was <i>more than aware</i> of the appetite the rest of them could have. “I think the map said something about a Cafe in the middle? Do you want to go there next?” He tacked the question on at the end, going back to the notion that this was Torunn’s plan.

That too was easier than looking at anything else that might have been going on in this moment.

She couldn’t help but feel sort of… awful about just abruptly ending what otherwise would have, could have been a nice moment. Torunn could have just pushed it all away, just let them have the little laugh about the penguin’s antics but… it came down to how emotionally stunted she was in that way.  She just couldn’t handle it and she felt guilty about that, she felt absolutely guilty about that. She couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to screw up his attempts to be nice and just talk about something else because Torunn couldn’t help but realize that’s probably what he was trying to do - just talk about something else, default back to jokes and little quips and stories, Francis was always good for things like that. Usually? Usually it cut the tension for all of them - right now? Right now it was just… it was her fault, not his. He was trying and she couldn’t even handle it. He was trying to just not talk about things or focus on the weird, bad moment or her blushing and then she was such an idiot. She wasn’t worthy of her own damn sword right now, if you asked her. A warrior wouldn’t back down from a fight, and for Torunn? She may as well have been doing the equivalent right now, just with a very different emotion.

Truth be told, Torunn wasn’t hungry either but… maybe she would be by the time they walked over there? Maybe she could will herself hungry by the time they got to where Francis said he’d thought the food was. She was still a little sad to not watch the penguins longer, to not look at any of the other birds but… she was afraid if she didn’t get some air she’d just need to run the hell out of there and. Whatever. He’d agreed. They were going to go find food. It was done. It was over with. She could leave all the weirdness, the good the bad and the awkward, in that exhibit. Locked up behind its doors, like she kept everything else locked up in the back of her mind.

As she opened the door, the stark difference in the climate in the exhibit area was all of a sudden obvious. The humidity of the New York City climate was different than the oddly dry, yes moist sea-faring feel to the inside of where they’d just been. She hadn’t noticed it like she had the obviously air conditioned feel of the Madagascar place, maybe they just felt like people could handle the environment in that one better? Torunn didn’t really know - but it made her fiddle with her hair again, trying awkwardly -- as she stood just a few feet beyond the door -- to get it to sit in some sort of way that didn’t feel like it was going to make her neck too hot. She should have just kept it in the braids. Clearly she wouldn’t have looked that odd with them here and now, here she was, stuck with this unmanageable mess and it was just another thing that she was frustrated by.

The rapid change in environment was something he should have noticed and, in almost any other circumstance, he would have without delay. He would have made some crack about it, some off handed remark about how it was annoying or gross, or something entirely uncalled for at all. This time though? This time Francis was far too focused on the woman he’d come to the zoo with for any of that.

He was dialed in on how quiet she’d gotten, how she kept fiddling with her hair. He knew both of those things were signs, cues and clues to an end, even if he didn’t know what to or how he was supposed to read them. Off was about as far as he could get in regards to where they led him, but off about what? Was it something he said? Was it something he did? Was it the zoo itself? The people again? The climate? His mind raced over and over with these questions, trying so hard to figure out an answer that seemed reasonable he didn’t even stop to think about why he was so focused on them. He just wanted to find the fix, the thing he could do or say that would make her snap out of it, that could rewind the clock back where they’d had a good time laughing at the sea dogs, where she’d pelted him with a fish…

Where he didn’t feel like this was a hair’s width away from going wrong and coming to an immediate end.

There had been too much of that lately, too many endings, too many fractures. Sure, the end of being stuck in a world where Ultron had fucked everything was pretty fucking awesome, but that...that didn’t mean things got easier, even if Francis honestly thought that was exactly what it should have meant. He didn’t stop to think how maybe things were just...different...and how that could be its own blend of hard. Nevermind parents showing up out of the blue, or being alive in the first place, or even James fucking it all up and then disappearing like he had. The difficulties weren’t in any one thing, but because everything was different. There weren’t raiders, nobody was starving, they didn’t have to worry about finding places to sleep or making sure they didn’t run out of water…

Now they had to adjust to people, soft beds, choosing what to eat -- which Francis was already more than aware was going to be difficult by the time they’d reached the place to do so -- and figuring out what the fuck to do with themselves now that life wasn’t a constant struggle of survival. It was fucking daunting, even to the archer who tended to act like everything just rolled right off his back. It was fucking intimidating too, and that didn’t even account for the fact that Francis felt a very strong pull to keep at it for more than just himself. Maybe that was part of it too, maybe he really should have given up on the whole idea, maybe it was just selfish of him, maybe he was thinking it because he was putting his own feelings out on someone else rather than dealing with them himself but…

But he felt like Torunn needed him to figure those things out, to be there for her so she wasn’t facing them by herself. It was probably the stupidest thing in the world, but it was right there in everything he did as he walked beside her in the direction that was starting to smell like food.

“Do you want to just share a buncha shit?” Because that was easier than trying to figure out something for just one of them to eat and would at least give them a chance to try a wide selection of the fare. It was also easier than offering to help her with her braids, a job that had belonged to...well….well there were a lot of reasons why Francis wasn’t going to suggest that right now. “I never know what to get.” He added in, stuffing himself down into a chair with a rather unceremonious flop -- and not knowing if they were even supposed to do that.

He was just glad there was shade and that the place wasn’t so packed they couldn’t sit somewhere away from a crowd.

</div></td></tr></table> </lj-cut>