EDITING YOUR MANUSCRIPT BEFORE QUERYING OR SUBMISSION

Written by Cathie Hedrick-Armstrong, Literary Agent

Marsal Lyon Literary Agency

STOP! BEFORE YOU GO ANY FURTHER, READ THIS:

Before you use this document, put your manuscript aside. Don’t try to compare your manuscript to this editing document because there’s a lot of information here and you’re likely to get overwhelmed. So do this instead: Put your manuscript away and take some time to read through this document carefully. Follow the links for articles and watch the YouTube videos. I want you to relearn what you’ve forgotten in the years since you left high school or college.

Once you’ve been through every part of this document, set it aside for a while and go back and begin editing your manuscript. What I HOPE will happen is that you’ll come across a couple of things that will trigger your memory from this document. Maybe you’ll recognize crutch words or filtering, a lightbulb will go off in your head, and you’ll remember that you read something about that particular thing, and then you can go back and refer to only that part of the document to make sure you’re doing it right.

But…if you try to compare what you’ve already written to this document without going through it first, you’ll find yourself overwhelmed. Please don’t do that to yourself. There’s a lot of information here and not all of it will apply to you. But read all of it, and hopefully after reading through this document, you’ll recognize those things in your own writing that need correcting and you’ll be able to easily make changes.

Good luck!

Cathie

NOW YOU CAN READ THE REST!

Through reading queries and helping my clients edit their manuscripts, I’ve noticed that most of us have the same common writing issues. Most of these are easily fixed, if we know what we’re doing and how to correct those mistakes. Toward this end, I’ve compiled this list of common writing issues in hopes it helps you clean up your manuscripts before querying an agent—or in the case of #TeamCathie—before you send me your manuscript for submission. Not all of these points will apply to every writer, so I’ve divided this document into three sections:

1. Part One: Am I Ready to Query or Go on Submission?
2. Part Two: Common Writing Issues and How to Fix them
3. Part Three: The Final Editing Checklist

I hope this document is helpful to you, and please feel free to share.

PART ONE:

AM I READY TO QUERY OR GO ON SUBMISSION?

Only you can answer this question, but below are the steps I request of my clients before submitting to me their finalized manuscript.

1. Once you’ve completed your first draft, let it sit for a few days (preferably a couple weeks) so you’re not so close to it. Then, begin the editing process. You can use the list of common issues below to help you as you edit.
   
2. Once you’ve edited your manuscript to the best of your ability, now find a couple of critique partners who are willing to give you honest feedback on what you can do to improve your manuscript. I always recommend someone who’s really good with grammar, and another who’s really good at development.
   

• A good critique partner (CP) is not afraid to be honest and provide feedback that might hurt your feelings. Therefore, it’s important to grow a thick skin and don’t take the comments personally. You want a tough CP because a tough CP will challenge you and make your project better.
  
• If your CP returns your manuscript with comments like, “It’s perfect as is!” or “I loved it—I wouldn’t make any changes,” you need to find a new CP because what you have is not a CP but a fan.
  
• A good CP is one who not only points out your flaws but also gives suggestions on how to fix those flaws. And sometimes you don’t have actual flaws or holes in your story, but they can still offer suggestions that might make it better.
  

3. Once your CPs return your manuscript, look over their comments and set your manuscript aside for a few days so you can think about their suggestions. Then, when you come back to it, ask yourself whether their suggestions make sense to your vision and/or improve your story. If so, make the changes. If not, don’t feel obligated to make those changes.
   
4. After making your first set of changes by incorporating your CPs suggestions, go through and do another read-through for necessary edits. We all make them.
   
5. Sometimes, a “beta reader” is a good next step. This person is different from the CP because they’re looking at a broader picture of your manuscript. This person might not be a writer but is definitely a reader of the genre you’re writing. This person will give you feedback from a reader’s perspective.
   

Note: Some beta readers are uncomfortable giving negative feedback about your work or aren’t sure what you’re looking for. I recommend using a Google Form with a list of specific questions and space for them to write more, then allow them to return the form anonymously.

6. Once you receive your beta reader feedback, decide what comments need to be addressed and go to work on any revisions you think need to be made.
   
7. After revisions are made, go back and do another round of editing. We all make mistakes!
   
8. Once you feel like you’ve accomplished all you can with your CPs and Beta Readers, and you’ve edited to the extent of your abilities, now go through and make sure your manuscript is formatted properly. This is your very last step before you're ready to query! You can use this link for a guide.
   
9. Now that you’ve edited your manuscript and formatted it in a way that won’t give your agent gray hairs, NOW you’re ready to query or, in the case of #TeamCathie, send me your manuscript for submission.
10. If you’re not sure how to write a query letter, my client Kelly Beck has an amazing Substack article that completely breaks it down for you. here’s the link.

PART TWO:

COMMON WRITING ISSUES AND HOW TO FIX THEM

FILTERING

Filtering happens with the writer allows the narrator to “insert” himself between the reader and the character by using the five senses or thought processes to tell the reader what’s the character sees or believes. It reminds the reader that he’s NOT the main character.

Some Filtering Words/Phrases to Watch out For:

Saw/See

Look/Looked

Hear/Heard/

Listen/Listened

Taste/Tasted

Smell

Feel/Felt

Realized

Knew

Remembered

Decided

Noted

• (Article): What are Filter Words?

• (Article): How to Avoid Unnecessary Filter Words in Your Writing

• (Video 1): Avoiding Filter Words/Phrases

• (Video 2): Avoiding Filter Words/Phrases

• (Video 3): What Are Filter Words?

• (Video 4): Filter Words and Your Manuscript

WRITING DIALOGUE:

1. One of the biggest issues authors make is understanding how to use punctuation in dialogue correctly. If you’re having any problems–or just want to be sure you’re doing it right–here’s the rule:

When using punctuation with dialogue, use a comma when the dialogue is followed by (or preceded with) tags like, “he said” or “she said.” However, a period is used if the dialogue is followed by (or preceded with) an action tag like, “he nodded” or “she stood.”

Examples: 

“I’m not very happy with you.” she said. (WRONG)

“I’m not very happy with you,” she said. (CORRECT)

“I’m not very happy with you,” he lifted a brow. (WRONG)

“I’m not very happy with you.” He lifted a brow. (CORRECT)

Here are a couple of links that might help you understand better what I’m referring to.

• (Document): Punctuation in Dialogue

• Video: How to Punctuate Dialogue 

(Note: The presenter refers to what I call action tags, “action beats.” They are the same)

• (Video): Dialogue Lessons 

• (Article): How to Use Punctuation in Dialogue

2. The second most common issue I see is when an author combines the dialogue of one character with the thoughts or dialogue of another character. The important thing to remember is this: except in very rare situations, every character gets their own paragraph for dialogue, and only the character speaking is allowed to have a thought, comment, or action in that paragraph. If another character has a reaction or a comment, it needs to be moved to a new paragraph. This one is one of my biggest pet peeves, so print it out and put it next to your computer.

Examples:

(WRONG):

“I need to borrow your car,” Tony said. I looked at him, waiting for him to ask politely. “Please?” he added.

(CORRECT)

“I need to borrow your car,” Tony said.

I looked at him, waiting for him to ask politely.

“Please?” he added.

* * *

(WRONG)

“Can I kiss you?” He stepped toward me. I took a moment, pondering the question before finally stepping forward and answering. “Yes.”

(CORRECT)

“Can I kiss you?” He stepped toward me.

I took a moment, pondering  the question before finally stepping forward and answering. “Yes.”

* * *

(WRONG)

“It’s so good to see you!” Tony wrapped his arms around Sarah in a hug, and she hugged him back. Tony had been her favorite person since they went to kindergarten together.

(CORRECT)

“It’s so good to see you!” Tony wrapped his arms around Sarah in a hug.

She hugged him back. Tony had been her favorite person since they went to kindergarten together.

3. When Characters Speak

When writing dialogue, read it out loud to yourself. I often see phrases that are too formal in informal settings. For example, “You are” or “I am” and other phrases that most people would naturally condense into contractions when they’re speaking. By reading it out loud, you can “hear” whether it sounds natural. If you’d naturally make two words into a contraction when speaking, then you should make it a contraction when writing dialogue.

Examples:

We are = We’re

They are = They’re

We had = We’d

We would = We’d

They would = They’d

USING DOUBLE QUOTE MARKS (“) VERSUS  SINGLE (‘) QUOTE MARKS

As it relates to quotation marks, the only time you’ll use a single quotation mark (aside from an actual apostrophe) is when you’re using a quote within a quote. An example, “I was walking to the store when a guy stole my purse. I yelled for anyone who would hear, ‘Help me!’ but nobody answered.”

For American writing, you will never use single quotations like: ‘I was walking to the park when I ran into Fred.’

You will also never use single quotation marks to identify things like newspaper articles, such as: The New York Times article titled ‘The Way We Once Were.’

These will always be double quotation marks. The only time you will ever use a single quotation mark in your  manuscript will be a quote within a quote or within a line of dialogue.

DIALOGUE TAGS AND ACTION/BEAT TAGS

The primary purpose of dialogue and action tags is to cue the reader into who’s doing the talking. For some of you, the terms “action tag” and “dialogue tag” may be new, so let me show you the difference:

• Action Tag: Sometimes called an “action beat,” these are action identifiers such as raising an eyebrow, smiling, pursing lips, sitting, standing, etc.
  
• Dialogue Tag: A dialogue tag is a dialogue identifier such as “he said,” or “he commented.”

As often as possible, opt for action tags in place of dialogue tags. Using action tags makes for stronger sentences and often shows the character’s emotion.

If you’re using both a dialogue and an action tag, try to eliminate one—preferably the dialogue tag.

Examples:

Please do this as often as possible:

• “What are you talking about?” Meg lifted a brow.
• He blew out a breath. “Why must we continue discussing this?”

An acceptable alternative, but not as strong as above:

• “What are you talking about?” Meg asked.
• “Why must we continue discussing this?” he asked.

Using both a dialogue and an action tag can be done occasionally, but don’t overuse it:

• “What are you talking about?” Meg asked, lifting a brow.
• He blew out a breath and asked, “Why must we continue discussing this?”

Please do not do this:

• Meg lifted a brow. “What are you talking about?” she asked.
• He blew out a breath. “Why must we continue discussing this,” he asked.

Also remember: in rapid-fire dialogue, it’s not necessary to tag every single statement; and too many tags will take the reader out of the dialogue. In this case, use dialogue or action tags to clarify speaker about every 4th statement, but not every line of dialogue for each speaker.

For more help on dialogue, here’s a YouTube video on  Three Simple Ways to Improve Dialogue

WORKING WITH COMMAS

1. Oxford Commas
   

Yes, we use Oxford Commas in publishing. If you’re from a Journalism background, this is likely going to be a challenge for you to re-learn, but most publishers use the Oxford comma per Chicago Style.

What does this mean, exactly? It means that you always use a comma before the word “and” in a list.

Examples: 

She asked her mother to pick up sodas, chips, candy and napkins. (WRONG)

She asked her mother to pick up sodas, chips, candy, and napkins. (CORRECT)

2. Compound Sentences

A compound sentence is when two complete sentences are joined together by using and/but/or. When you do this, make sure you have a comma before and/but/or.

Example:

• The door opened and she stepped through it to face her nemesis. (WRONG)
• The door opened, and she stepped through it to face her nemesis. (CORRECT)

Notice how both “the door opened” and “she stepped through it to face her nemesis” can each stand alone as complete sentences, independent of the other? These are two separate thoughts that can each stand alone as a grammatically correct sentence. When you join them together as one sentence using and/but/or, you need a comma to make them grammatically correct.  

3. Commas with Interjections

When a sentence begins with an interjection like “Well” or “Oh,” commas should follow the interjection.

Examples:

• Well, I was going to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.
• Oh, the heck with this machine.
• Oh, my gosh!

4. Commas with Quotation Marks

For American English, commas (and periods) always go within quotation marks. For example:

THIS: “Hi, John,” said Amy.

NOT THIS: “Hi, John”, said Amy.

THIS: “I’ll see you in a week.” John waved goodbye.

NOT THIS: “I’ll see you in a week”. John waved goodbye.

5. Other Comma Placement Tips—How Do I Know When a Comma is Needed?
   The proper placement of commas can be challenging for a lot of people. My unscientific rule of thumb is to read out loud and listen for when you take natural pauses as, generally speaking, we usually take a natural pause where a comma would be necessary. That’s not an exact science, but it’ll be correct for you more times than it will be completely wrong. With that said, there are sources that can be helpful for understanding comma placement, and I’m including a few links below that might be helpful.

• Video: 4 Tips for Commas
  
• (Video): Using Commas in Independent/Dependent Clauses

• (Video): 8 Rules for Commas 

(Note: #5 only addresses dialogue tags and does not NOT address action tags, which use a period instead of a comma)

COMMAS VERSUS SEMICOLONS—WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?

I’ve only recently realized that the comma versus semicolon conundrum is something many people deal with. Here’s a basic rule that I hope will help:

COLONS:

• Use a colon when you’re saying, “Look! I’m about to give you more information about what I just said.
• Here’s a Grammarly video to help you understand when to use a colon.

        SEMI-COLONS

• Use a semicolon when you have a new sentence that’s related to the old sentence. If you’re confused, ask yourself if the sentence could stand alone.
• A semicolon connects two independent clauses (sentences) that are related.
• Here’s a video that might help.
• Here’s a Grammarly video to help you understand when to use a semicolon.

USING EYES VERSUS GAZE

When deciding whether to use eyes versus gaze, decide if you’re talking about the physical organ (eyes) or the act of moving the eyes to look upon something (gaze).

Your eyes move. They’re a body part. They can have no intention.

Your gaze is intentional. You move your gaze to look at something specific.

• You move your gaze to meet the eyes of another.  
• You GAZE into another’s EYES.
• You GAZE out the window.
• You ROLL your EYES.

In short, when you’re actively looking AT something, you GAZE at it.

PASSIVE VOICE—JUST SAY NO!

Passive voice is when the subject receives the action, rather than the subject performing the action. It’s less clear and can be boring, where Active writing is more immediate and exciting. The easiest way to remember this is to ask yourself two questions:

(1) Who/What is the subject?

(2) Is the subject receiving or performing the action?

If the subject performs the action, the sentence is active. If the subject receives the action, the sentence is passive.

A good example of “passive” versus “active” is when something “makes” the noun do something.

For example: “Terror made my knees shake.” In this sentence, the noun (knees) receives the action put into place by anxiety. But if you reword it to something like, “My knees shook with terror,” then you’re making the noun (knees) perform the action (shake).

Further Examples:

(PASSIVE): The string of yarn was chased by the cat.

        (The string of yarn is the subject, and the string of yarn is receiving the action)

(ACTIVE): The cat chased the string of yarn.         

(The cat is the subject, and the cat is performing the action of chasing)

(PASSIVE): Today’s mail was delivered by the mailman

        (The mail is the subject, and the mail is receiving the action)

 (ACTIVE) The mailman delivered the mail.        

(The mailman is the subject, and the mailman is performing the action)

Below are a couple of video links that might help you see and understand better.

• Craft Chat: Passive Voice (Why It's Not Great & How To Fix It)
  
• Active versus Passive Voice
  
• Grammarly on Passive versus Active Voice
  

TENSE CONFUSION/SHIFTS

Tense confusion, or a shift in verb tense, is one of those things many of us do without even realizing we’re doing it. This happens when the author is writing in one tense and shifts to a different tense without meaning to, such as switching from past tense to present tense within the same paragraph or even the same manuscript without deliberate intent or without a need to do so.

Sometimes it’s necessary to shift tenses, such as when writing a flashback scene. However, in most cases, it’s important to remain consistent with your verb tense. If you’re writing in past tense, make sure your verbs are all past tense. Same with present tense. Or, while I can’t think of an instance where a manuscript might be in future tense, same with future tense.

Below are some links that will explain further and should make identifying tense confusion easier to find.

(Video): Writing Tips for new authors: How to avoid past & present tense shifts

WEAK VERBS

Admittedly, this is another of my pet peeves. Weak verbs are verbs that tend to be what I call “crutch verbs.” They’re verbs we all use because they’re easy and don’t take a lot of thought, but they also don’t show much action. Or, when they do show action, the action tends to be passive. Most of these verbs are known as “To Be Verbs” and they include verbs that begin with to + verb, or include words like was, were, started, began, etc. Changing these verbs makes your writing more engaging to the reader, adds variety to your writing, and makes your language more concise.

When trying to decide if you’re using weak verbs, look for these verbs or combinations:

• To + verb (to walk, to drive, to open the door, to answer the phone, etc)
• Was/Were
• Put (The most boring and inactive verb in this history of weak verbs)

Examples:

Original: She tried to grab his arm, but he eluded her grasp.

Better: She reached for his arm, but he eluded her grasp.

Original: She began to hike up the hill.

Better: She hiked up the hill.

Original: She started to dial his number.

Better: She dialed his number.

Original: Her hair was dark red and hung to her waist.

Better: Her dark red hair cascaded over her shoulders, ending at the waistband of her jeans.

My recommendation is to use the “Find” function for terms like was, were, began, started, -ing, etc., and replace them with more active verbs.

Examples:

Original: She was walking to the house.

Better: She walked to the house.

Original: He was driving to the store.

Better: He drove to the store.

Original: She swiped her finger over the glass to answer the phone.

Better: She swiped her finger over the glass, answering the phone.

Best: She answered the phone.

Original: The roads were muddy.

Better: Thick mud covered the roads.

Below are a few links that might help you better identify and correct these types of issues in your writing.

• (YouTube Video 1) How to identify and replace weak verbs in your writing

• (YouTube Vide 2) How to identify and replace weak verbs in your writing

• (YouTube Video 3) Understanding and Identifying “to be” verbs

• (Website) Avoiding weak verbs like “to be” or “to have”

• (YouTube Video 4) Weak Verbs

INFO DUMPING/“BACKSTORY DUMP”

One of the biggest errors authors make relates to info dumping—basically, giving the reader a lot of backstory they don’t need in that exact moment. Sometimes I see authors do this when they begin their story with a prologue, which (I think) is one reason why a prologue gets so much hate from agents and editors. They almost always seem to be an info dump.

The first step to avoiding backstory dump (or info dumping) is to read over the first 3-5 pages of your manuscript and ask yourself if you’re giving basic information about the character or story that can be weaved in somewhere else.

Here’s an article that might help you identify how to avoid an info dump in your manuscript:

• What is Info-Dumping and How Can you Avoid It

TELLING VS SHOWING

Telling instead of showing is another challenging aspect for most writers, especially those who come from a Journalism background where we’re told to get to the point. Showing involves painting a picture with your words so the reader sees what the main character sees without being told in plain words. Telling is exactly what it sounds like—the narrator is telling the reader in plain words what the character sees. Confused yet? Simplified, showing uses actions or visual clues to help the reader interpret rather than being told flat-out.

How can you tell when you’re telling instead of showing? There are a few words/phrases that authors commonly use that are clues. Among the endless list are “Looked like,” “Caused” or “Made” the character.

John looked like he was angry. (What does angry look like?)

The room was so cold it made me shiver. (Is there another way you can let us know the character is so cold they’re shivering without using “made me”?). Try instead: I entered the room and goosebumps broke out along my skin.

The door slammed, making me (or causing me) to jump. (You can simply say: “The door slammed and I jumped in my seat.” or whatever).

• (Video): How to Show, Not Tell

• (Website) Showing versus Telling

• (Book) Understanding Show, Don’t Tell (And Really Getting It)

PROLOGUES

Ah…the dreaded prologue debate! Should you use them? When should you use them? Why do agents and editors dislike them?

Agents and editors often dislike prologues because inexperienced writers often use them to dump a whole bunch of information on the reader before the story even begins. If you find yourself doing this, ask yourself if you can weave that information in throughout the first few chapters rather than dumping everything all at once. Can you tell us that the character is a survivor of domestic abuse without doing so in the prologue? Can you leave us clues in the opening pages that will allow the reward to come to that conclusion?

One of the biggest “tells” is this: When I tell an author to give me the first 5 pages, and the first question they ask is, “Does that include the prologue?” If you have to ask that question, it tells me your prologue is not necessary to your story. Get rid of it.

CAUSE AND EFFECT

When a sentence relays information, give the cause before the effect/result. In other words, a character doesn’t let out a reaction like a scream before something startles them.

Examples:

Original: “She screamed as the door banged shut.”

(This sentence is written backwards. The door needs to bang shut before the character would let out a scream.)

Revised: “The door banged shut, and she released a high-pitched scream.”

(Now the act of screaming follows the door banging shut. The character is reacting to the action rather than anticipating the action).

* * *

Original: She jumped as the door slammed shut.

(Why would she jump as the door slams instead of after it slams?)

Revised: The door slammed, and she jumped.

(This time, the door slammed first and caused the reaction of jumping)

* * *

Original: The students’ voices quieted to a murmur as the door closed.

(Again, the voices quieting should be a reaction to the door closing)

Better: As the door closed, the student’s voices quieted to a murmur.

(Now the voices are quieting in the right order—the door is closing)

Best: The door closed, and the students’ voices quieted to a murmur.

(Even better because the door is now closed, and the voices are quieting as a result)

AVOID “IT” AS A SUBJECT”

“It” is a vague pronoun and makes the writing weak. Instead, try using a solid pronoun in its place.

Examples:

Original: It had been words of encouragement she’d needed all along.

Better: Words of encouragement were what she'd needed all along.

Original: It had felt good finally telling him off.

Better: Telling him off felt great.

APOSTROPHES

While it’s grammatically correct to show possession in names ending in S by ending either with an apostrophe or by ending with apostrophe S, consistency is the key. So long as you are consistent throughout your manuscript, you should be fine. With that said, for the sake of consistency with my clients, I prefer the apostrophe S. For that reason, all #TeamCathie clients will please use the apostrophe S format.

Example: Chris’s shoes and Chris’ shoes both are technically correct, but I would like my clients to be consistent and use the apostrophe s, making it “Chris’s shoes.”

MOVIE TITLES, SONG TITLES, BOOK TITLES, ETC

Whether to use quotations or italics is the bane of every author’s existence. According to Chicago Style, the following formats below should be used when writing titles:

Books, Magazines, and Movie Titles: The proper title of the book, magazine, or movie should be capitalized with italics. Examples:

• Catcher in the Rye (book)
• To Kill a Mockingbird (book)
• Rolling Stone (magazine)
• Vogue (magazine)
• The Princess Bride (movie)
• The Blues Brothers (movie)

Magazine Articles and Song Titles: The title of an article found in a magazine, or the title of a song, should be capitalized and placed within quotation marks. Examples:

• “We Shall Be Free” (song title)
• “Stairway to Heaven.” (song title)
• “Deb Futter Adds Flatiron to Purview, with Megan Lynch Up as Bob Miller Exits Macmillan” (Article from Publisher’s Weekly magazine)
• “Words Without Borders Appoints Elisabeth Jaquette Executive Director” (Article title from Publisher’s Weekly magazine)

SONG LYRICS

Song lyrics that are still under copyright (very generally speaking, anything released less than 100 years ago–always double-check) cannot be used without express permission from the artist–and this usually costs money! If you can avoid using song lyrics, do. If you absolutely must use song lyrics, you’ll need to contact the artist and get a release to use the lyrics. This, I’m told, is a tedious process and in most cases a future publisher will not help you with this, nor will they usually pay the royalties to the artist.

HOMONYMS—MAKE SURE YOU’RE USING THE RIGHT WORD!

When two words sound the same or similar, sometimes we inadvertently type the wrong word when we absolutely know the difference…or, sometimes in my case, I can’t ever keep them straight. For me, those words include lie/lay, blonde/blond, heroine/heroin and further/farther.

Before you submit your manuscript, make sure you not only know which is the correct word to use, but also that you didn’t inadvertently use the wrong word. Below is a list of some of the most misused words. I recommend using the find function to double-check you’ve used the following words properly. This may require using a dictionary.

accept/except

affect/effect

alright/all right

altogether/all together

altar/alter

amount/number

assure/ensure/insure

bear/bare

blond/blonde

board/bored

canon/cannon

capital/capitol

complement/compliment

council/counsel

creak/creek

discussed/disgust

farther/further

fewer/less

fiancé/fiancée

here/hear

heroin/heroine

idol/idle

incite/insight

it’s/its

lay/lie

lesson/lessen

lightning/lightening

loose/lose

message/massage

passed/past

peel/peal

pique/peak

principal/principle

rain/reign/rein

real/reel

roll/role

stationary/stationery

there/their/they’re

then/than

to/too/two

waste/waist

wear/where

weight/wait

who/whom

who’s/whose

your/you’re

Also remember with words like mother/father/grandmother/grandfather/etc., how you use these words will dictate whether you capitalize them. When the word “my” precedes the word, mother/father/grandmother/grandfather becomes possessive, and you can’t really “possess” a proper noun. Therefore, it is not capitalized. But when used as a person’s proper name, then it’s capitalized.

Examples:

Please tell my mom I’m almost ready.

Please tell Mom I’m almost ready.

It’s funny how much Cheryl looks like my grandma.

It’s funny how much Cheryl looks like Grandma.

BORROW VS LOAN

This is probably a regional thing, as it’s something I never encountered until I moved to Minnesota; however, if you’re confused about whether someone “borrows you” an object versus “loans you” an object, let me help you decide which to use.

The person receiving does the “borrowing,” and the person giving permission for you to use that item does the “loaning.”

• One borrows an object from another person.
• The other person loans the other person the object.
• Another person never “borrows you” (or borrows me) an object.

So when trying to describe how one person’s object came into another’s possession, you’d say:

“John loaned me his car.”

“John loaned his car to Tom”

“I borrowed John’s car.”

“Tom borrowed Johns car”

“John loaned his car to Tom”

“Will you loan me your car?”

“May I borrow your car?”

But not

“John borrowed me his car.”

“John borrowed his car to Tom”

I VS ME

How many times were you corrected as a kid to say, for example, “_____ and I” instead of “_____ and me”? My guess is probably a gazillion—at least enough times that it’s ingrained in your head and now you think it’s wrong every time someone says “_____ and me.” But that’s the thing—it actually may be right.

The key to knowing whether to use I versus me in most cases is to remove the other person from the sentence, then say the sentence out loud to yourself. For example:

“My mom is going to give my friend and I/me a ride to school.”

Which would you use? To figure this out, remove “my friend” from the sentence and you end up with “My mom is going to give _____ a ride to school.”

So Which would you use in the sentence without your friend? Would you say:

”My mom is going to give I a ride to school”

or

“My mom is going to give me a ride to school?”

If you chose the second option, “My mom is going to give me a ride to school,” you’d be correct!.

So when deciding whether to use I or me in the original sentence, your answer would be: “My mom is going to give my friend and me a ride to school.”

Here’s a couple of other examples:

“Julie and I are going to the mall.” (CORRECT: Remove Julie, and the sentence stands as “I am going to the mall.”).

“Would you cut a slice of pizza for Julie and I?” (INCORRECT) 

Remove Julie from the above sentence and it stands as “Would you cut a slice of pizza for I?” Clearly you wouldn’t ask someone to cut a piece of pizza for I. So the correct usage of I/me in this sentence would be:

“Would you cut a slice of pizza for me?” (CORRECT)

While this is the easiest way to determine I versus me MOST OF THE TIME, there’s actually a rule you can follow that will give you the right answer 100% of the time instead of about 98% of the time. So what’s that rule? Ask yourself whether the I/me is doing the action or receiving the action. When the pronoun (I or me) is doing the action, you use I. When the pronoun (I or me) is receiving the action, you use me.

So in our last sentence, “Would you cut a slice of pizza for me,” the pronoun (I or me) is receiving the action. Therefore, you would use “me.”

Another way to remember this is: If the words between, with, or to are used, you will use Me. 

“Would you like to go to the mall with Julie and me?” (CORRECT)

“Please don’t stand between Julie and me.” (CORRECT)

Here are a couple of videos that might help you better understand:

Video 1

Video 2

Video 3

WHO VS WHOM?

To figure this one out, decide whether the person in question is the subject of the sentence (does the person perform the action?) or the object of the sentence (does the subject receive the action?). When the person is the subject of the sentence, use “who.” When the person is the object of a sentence (as in using them in a prepositional phrase), use “whom.”

CORRECT: Who are you talking about?

CORRECT: To whom are you referring?

INCORRECT: Whom are you talking about?

INCORRECT: To who are  you talking?

Here’s a fun video that should help you.

Here’s another  video that should help you.

Here’s yet another video that might help you.

WHO/WHOM VS THAT?

Don’t you hate it when you can’t remember whether you should use “who” or “that” in a sentence? The simple rule is to use “who” or “whom” when you’re referring to a person, and “that” is used when referring to places, animals, or things.

Now, in fairness, you CAN use “that” when referring to a person and nobody will slap your hands for doing so. In fact, it’s become increasingly acceptable in informal speech. But if you want to get it “right,” you want to use “who” or “whom” when referring to people, and “that” when referring to anything not a person.

CORRECT: Was he the person who was looking for her?

INCORRECT: Was he the person that was looking for her?

BLOND VS BLONDE

• Generally speaking, we only use the E in blond/blonde when speaking about a female subject. Otherwise, when speaking about a male subject, the E is removed.
• Blond = masculine (His hair is blond)
• Blonde = feminine (Her hair is blonde)
• When referring to it in terms of the color of wood, for example, use the masculine (blond) version.
• When referring to people as being blonde or blond, once again, a woman is a blonde but a man is a blond.
• Here’s a video that might help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6MtR6-PWmI

FARTHER VS FURTHER

The decision regarding whether to use farther or further comes down to whether you’re referring to physical, measurable distance or figurative distance in terms of time or place.

When speaking about a measurable distance such as mile traveled, use FARTHER.

When speaking about figurative distance, like a time in the future, use FURTHER.

Example:

I walked FARTHER than she walked.

Let’s discuss the topic FURTHER at a later date.

Don’t go any FARTHER than two blocks away.

After FURTHER discussion, we decided to close the doors.

CRUTCH WORDS

We all have them–words or phrases we use repeatedly that we have no need for. The biggest crutch word I find is “that.” When you can write the sentence without the word “that” and it still makes complete sense, get rid of it. It’s an extra word that’s completely unnecessary and just adds to your word count.

Other common crutch words include (but are in no way limited to):

• Just (almost always unnecessary)
• That
• Even
• Really
• So
• And then (use one or the other)
• -ly words (get rid of about 90% of your -ly adverbs)

Article: 40 Crutch Words to Eliminate From Your Writing

-LY ADVERBS

Since we’re talking about Crutch Words, please look through your manuscript for -ly adverbs. While these adverbs are okay to use occasionally, many writers tend to overuse them.

So how much is too much?

When deciding whether to use an -ly adverb, ask yourself these questions:

1. Do I really need that -ly adverb? Does it add any real clarity to the sentence or statement?
   

• If your answer is no, get rid of it.
  

2. If I decide my sentence needs more clarity, is there a more descriptive way I can offer that clarity besides using the -ly adverb? For example, instead of saying, “She said loudly,” could I say instead, “She whispered”?
   

• If you can offer clarity in a different way without the -ly adverb, then do it!
  

3. Okay…so I’ve decided my sentence needs more clarity, AND I can’t figure out how else to offer that clarity with a different word or phrase. Now what?
   

• NOW is when you use that -ly adverb.

TIGHTEN YOUR PROSE

What do you do if you finish your manuscript and find you’re over the recommended word count? It’s time to tighten your prose! Here’s a couple of tips that might help.

• Study every sentence in your manuscript, one-by-one, and ask yourself if you can say the same thing with fewer words. Even cutting one word every other sentence will make a huge difference in your word count.

• Make sure you’re not doubling-up on dialogue and action tags. Pick one or the other.

• Ask yourself if every scene propels the story forward. If you have a scene that does nothing to move the story along, consider whether it’s a necessary scene or if it can be cut.

• Look for redundancy like “itty bitty” or “tiny little”—two words that, effectively, say the same thing—and get rid of them.
• Look for your crutch words and get rid of them.

• Be concise in your language. There are a lot of extra words authors use that are completely unnecessary. For example:
  

1. Nodding: The act of nodding is exclusive to the head, so simply saying a character “nods” is sufficient.

2. Standing up: The act of standing can be done in only one direction—up.

3. Sitting down: Like standing, the act of sitting can be done in only one direction: down.
   
4. Shouting: a simple exclamation point will do. No need to say, “he/she shouted” if the actual dialogue has an exclamation point. Also, no need to use all caps.
   
5. Think critically when you’re writing—what other phrases have unnecessary words that aren’t needed for clarification?

Here’s an article with a list of common redundancies in writing.

TYPOS

Always run a spellcheck on your finished document. Additionally, Microsoft Word also offers a “Read Aloud” function. You can find this under the “Review” tab. Listening to Word read the document out loud can help us find mistakes our brains often overlook.

OTHER COMMON WRITING ERRORS:

• Put/Puts: This might be the most boring word in the English language. There’s nothing descriptive about it and it’s redundant when used repeatedly. When you see this word, ask yourself if you can exchange it for something else.

Suggestions: 

lay/lays
place/places
set/sets, etc.

• To versus At. You motion TO someone if you want to get their attention. You point AT someone or something when you want to draw someone else’s attention to it.
  
• Ellipses. Use them judiciously. If they’re not necessary, then end the sentence with a period.
  
• Italics. Use them judiciously. Use the “Read Aloud” function in a Word document to have the computer read to you. This function will not put any emphasis on an italicized

word, so if you don’t notice that it’s missing and the word doesn’t “need” to be stressed for clarification or to draw more attention to it when read aloud, then remove it.

• Double Punctuation: Please do not double-punctuate at the end of a sentence. Examples include: ?! or !! These are simply wrong, and there’s just no way to make them right.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

I’ve tried to cover the most common writing errors I come across with both my clients and in my slush pile, but there are so many resources out there to help you. If there’s something you’re struggling with—especially as it relates to writing or grammar—Google it or search YouTube for a video. For those who really struggle with conventions of grammar, I strongly recommend searching YouTube videos for “ACT (or SAT)” and whatever grammatical term you’re looking for. So, for example, “ACT Commas” or “ACT Comma Splice” or “ACT Periods.” Pretty much anything you don’t fully understand can be explained to you quite easily through YouTube Videos.

In addition, I also like Strunk and White’s online editing document, book and workbook:

• (Document): STRUNK & WHITE, THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE
• (Book): The Elements of Style, Fourth Edition
• (Workbook): The Elements of Style Workbook: Writing Strategies with Grammar Book 

And if you’re having trouble with grammar in general, you might give this book a try:

• (Video): The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation: An Easy-to-Use Guide with Clear Rules, Real-World Examples, and Reproducible Quizzes

Or, if you’re better with visual examples, you might find some of these videos helpful:

• (Video): ACT English Grammar Rules
• (Video): 5 Tricky Grammar Rules You Need to Remember

And if you haven’t read it yet, I strongly recommend the book, Save the Cat Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody. You can also visit the Save the Cat website for blank beat sheets and beat sheets examples set to some of your favorite published works.

TO PAY FOR AN EDITOR OR NOT TO PAY FOR AN EDITOR? 

If you’ve read this far and you’re feeling like you’ve got a good handle on editing your manuscript, you absolutely do not need to hire an editor before querying. If you’re unsure, give this list another try before hiring an editor. Most authors really don’t need one. You are fully capable of grasping all of these concepts. Nobody is perfect, and you’re not expected to be. So if you feel pretty good about all you’ve learned from this document, then please don’t pay for an editor.

Having said that, I know there are some of you who will still want to hire an editor. For those of you, I have a few suggestions:

1. qtCritique.com: This site was developed by the same person who created QueryTracker. All of the editors are vetted as industry professionals (mostly current literary agents), and while their identities are anonymous, you can look at their bios and how much they charge before committing. Some of the services offered are Query Critiques, Synopsis Critiques, and First Chapter Critiques. You probably won’t get a full manuscript critique here, but you can get a couple of chapters critiqued to see if you’re on the right track or need more.

2. Visit my website at  charmstrongbooks.com/editor-recommendations/. There you’ll find a list of reputable and vetted editors, most of whom are or have been industry professionals.

PART THREE:

THE FINAL EDITING CHECKLIST

Use the checklist below to double-check your manuscript before submitting your full manuscript to your agent or fulfilling a full request when querying.

ARE YOU READY TO QUERY?

• Have you read your entire manuscript out loud using Microsoft Word. This will help you catch typos that your eyes will miss.
• Has your manuscript been read by 1-2 critique partners who have offered usable feedback? A critique partner is another writer who understands story development and has a basic understanding for grammar conformities.
• Has your manuscript been read by a beta reader? A beta reader is someone who is a voracious reader of your genre. This person is more a reader than a writer and might not be able to offer you critique in terms of structure or editing, but they can tell you if something is confusing or doesn’t follow the expected beats for the genre.
• Has your manuscript been edited to the point it’s the best you can do? Does it feel publish-ready?

HAVE YOU DOUBLE-CHECKED FOR NECESSARY LINE EDITS?

• Have you checked for showing versus telling?
• Have you checked and eliminated backstory dump?
• Have you checked for filtering?
• Have you checked your dialogue tags and action tags for:

• Proper punctuation?
• Minimal duplicate tags (i.e. combining a dialogue tag with an action tag)?
• Does every character have their own paragraphs of dialogue with no other character intruding with a thought, action or dialogue of their own?

• Have you checked for and removed any double-punctuation (?! or !!)
• If you’ve used colons or semi-colons, and if so, did you use them correctly? (Double check you didn’t confuse the need for a comma for a semi-colon and vice versa).
• Did you double-check for the use of eyes versus gaze?
• Have you double-checked for passive voice?
• Have you checked for tense confusion?
• Have you eliminated as many weak verbs as you can? (to+verb, was, were, put, etc).
• Have you checked for “cause and effect”? The principal enters the classroom and the students quiet down…the students don’t quiet down “when” the principal enters the classroom. Similarly, the girl didn’t crash the care “when” she pressed the accelerator to the floor. Instead, the girl pressed the accelerator to the floor and crashed the car. (Show the cause, followed by the effect)
• Have you avoided using “it” as the subject?
• Did you double-check that you’re using apostrophes correctly when showing ownership?
• Did you double-check that you ALWAYS use double quotation marks (“ and ”) except when quoting within a quote?
• Have you double-checked how to refer to song titles versus album titles, or newspapers versus newspaper articles, etc?
• Are there any song lyrics in your manuscript? Remember: these are not free use and will cost you a lot to get permission.
• Have you double-checked for proper use of homonyms (i.e. here/their/they’re or too/two/to).
• Does your dialogue sound “natural” to the story and not overly formal for the character?
• Have you checked for I versus me, who versus whom, who/whom versus that, blond versus blonde, and farther versus further?
• Have you searched for your crutch words and eliminated them?
• Have you searched for -ly adverbs and eliminated all but the most necessary ones?
• Have you tightened your prose to avoid redundancy? (Example: stands up, sits down, nods head, itty bitty, tiny little, really really).
• Have you checked that your word count is appropriate for your genre? Google it and tighten your prose, if necessary, to get that word count down some. Still not sure? Here’s one resource you might use to double-check.
• Have you formatted your manuscript in a manner agents/editors will find appealing? (Double-spaced, Times New Roman, 12-point font, 1” margins, ½” indents set (not tabs!) for new paragraphs.

IF YOU’RE QUERYING ME AND WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MY OWN PERSONAL PET PEEVES, HERE’S A LIST. BUT PLEASE REMEMBER: EVERY AGENT HAS DIFFERENT TASTES.

• Backstory Dump
• Filtering
• Excessive use of weak verbs (was, put, to+verb, etc).
• Excessive use of -ly adverbs.
• Nonconformity to the dialogue rule that only one character is allowed to speak, have internal thoughts, or physical action in a dialogue paragraph unless those thoughts or actions are filtered through the lens of the character who owns the paragraph of dialogue.
• Double-tags on dialogue (he/she said + an action tag). Sometimes it sounds better with the double tag, but 99% of the time you can do without them.
• Telling instead of showing, particularly when using “made” or “caused” something to happen or have a person have a reaction.
• An overuse of crutch swords, specifically “that,” or “just” or “and then.” Get rid of them.
• Double-punctuation (?!). Get rid of them.

If you have few (or none) of these issues in your opening pages, you have much higher odds of getting me to read more or ask for a partial or full.

BOOKS ON WRITING

As with any craft, writing is an ongoing learning process. For this reason, I’ve compiled a list of books I own and recommend to other writers for continued education and improved writing.

The definitive answer for all-things style and grammar in the publishing world is THE CHICAGO STYLE MANUAL OF STYLE. This is the book that publishers use when making sure your manuscript uses the correct punctuation, format for writing numbers, etc. This book is pretty thick and a bit daunting, but I recommend it strongly for reference (not to read front to back). I own this book and use it frequently, so it is something I recommend to authors if they can afford it. However, a less expensive and more compact option may be Elliot Spencer’s version which focuses on grammar, usage and citation. Note: I do not own Spencer’s version, but I’ll probably be ordering it now that I know it exists.

ALL unpublished authors should have a copy of at least WRITER’S MARKET or CHILDREN’S WRITER’S & ILLUSTRATOR’S MARKET. These books are the most important tools in your toolchest when you get ready to query. . Note: you DO NOT need both. Choose the first if you do adult or many genres. Choose the Children’s option if you only write for children.

UNDERSTANDING SHOW, DON'T TELL is, in my opinion, the ultimate go-to for writers attempting to understand how to better use the art of showing over telling in their writing. This book is written in a straightforward manner that most writers find this book easy to follow and understand.

SHOW, DON’T TELL is another outstanding resource for writers on the art of showing over telling. On the rare occasion I’ve had an author struggle with the Janice  Hardy version, this book seems to be a better fit. The key is to find the book that works best for your learning style.

SAVE THE CAT WRITES A NOVEL (by Jessica Brody) and ON WRITING (by Stephen King) are two “must haves” for all writers wishing to be published. In SAVE THE CAT, Jessica Brody walks authors through the beats of writing a good novel, while Stephen King’s ON WRITING is more a memoir of King’s journey into publishing with helpful tips. Depending upon what you “need” you may have a preference for one over the other. For myself, I found both to fit different aspects of what I needed.