Kyle Benson’s Ideal Romantic Partner

Why: Prime the mind to create win-win relationships by seeking out specific traits and values  that will be compatible with my lifestyle and values.

Table of Contents

Step I: Design my Ideal Woman & Place Traits in Categories

1|Appearance

2|Dating Goals & Ethics

3|Lifestyle

4|Personality

5|Intelligence

6|Profession

7|Emotional Health & Baggage

8|Life Goals

9|Values

10|Romance

Step II: Organize List into Must-Haves & Nice-to-Haves

Step III: Compatibility Test

Step IV: Design a List of Questions/ Statements I Can Use on a Date

Step V: List Potential “Mating Markets”

Step VI: Schedule a Time To RePrime and Revise

Step VII: Create a Post Date Scoring System

Step I: Design my Ideal Woman & Place Traits in Categories

Goal: List EVERYTHING I want in an ideal woman.

1|Appearance

• She is someone I find attractive (unconscious cues - chemistry feeling)
• Athletic fitness levels - (mostly) flat stomach not a six pack
• Height: 5’6” to 5’11”
• Healthy and vibrant skin, hair and nails - no signs of autoimmune diseases (it’s clear that they eat right, get sleep and take care of their body)
• Personal style is a mix of classy (heels & dress) and casual (jeans & nicer top). All clothes fit well and demonstrate her desire to look her best

2|Dating Goals & Ethics

• Desires a committed monogamous marriage with open communication and honesty
• She tells the truth and vulnerably expresses how she feels even if she knows it may make me upset.
• Has faith that we can improve our relationship by coming together
• Allows me to have my freedom but expresses when she needs me to make healthy compromises to make her happy
• She is very caring and compassionate

3|Lifestyle

• Enjoys playing soccer at a high level
• Is open to new experiences and has a desire to learn new skills
• Enjoys dancing and has an interest (or has a passion) for salsa dancing
• Home and car are organized and clean. Not like cleaned every single day, but cleaned once a week with clothes, dishes, trash and other things being put where they belong within 48 hours.
• Had a different cultural upbringing or experience than me (born or lived in a foreign country)
• She is self-sufficient, but also knows when to ask for help.
• Lives in a healthy environment (not near drug dealers or gangs that may put her in a frightening position)
• Chooses not to do drugs (has an openness to try psychedelics once or twice but refrains from smoking weed).
• Chooses not to drink more than a few drinks per week (if that) because she cares about her health
• Regularly cooks and eats organic food. Enjoys eating healthy amounts of meat (not vegan or vegetarian) and prefers to not eat gluten, sugar (but feels comfortable doing so every once in awhile).
• They manage the finances well in our longer term relationship, but allow me to pay for most of the things initially.
• Has many friends that she regularly sees and stays in touch with
• Desires to live in a place near a beach that requires little maintenance so she and I can spend more time traveling and doing other things
• She has a fair amount of life experiences (travels, starting interesting projects, etc.)

4|Personality

• Is charismatic, compassionate and kind - people speak highly of her
• Has table manners (napkins on lap, don’t talk with a mouth full of food) and is polite (please & thank you)
• Is a moderate talker. Enjoys to giver her input but also have a strong curiosity for listening and learning from others.
• Is opinionated on the things she cares about and has her own goofy, oddball sense of humor that is playful and sarcastically flirty.

5|Intelligence

• Highly intelligent about psychology, health, and/or business
• Enjoys reading (reads regularly) and loves to learn new skills and new ways of seeing the world.
• Has high levels of socially intelligence and can read social cues that enable others to feel comfortable and/or even amazing in her presence. (Why - ability to anticipate someone else’s -my- needs, cooperates easily and can resolve conflict) - Knows that her perception of the world is different than the way others see it and is okay with that.
• Has high levels of emotional intelligence - has the self-awareness to understand and use her emotions to guide effective thinking and behavior and can easily read other people’s emotions in their faces, bodies, and speech.
• Has above average verbal intelligence - can tell good stories and jokes, carry on an exciting conversation and can resolve arguments
• Has above average practical intelligence (street smarts)
• Has high levels of mating intelligence - the ability to understand me, anticipate my needs and desires as well as demonstrates her intelligence in romantically attractive ways.
• Has high levels of academic intelligence - demonstrated by high levels of education

6|Profession

• Bachelor's degree minimum with a desire (or completed) masters/PhD.
• Potential careers - Entrepreneur, psychologist, naturopathic doctor, teacher, nurse, marketer, author, public speaker
• Continuously finding new ways to improve their careers or how they help their clients.

7|Emotional Health & Baggage

• Never married and no prior kids (but wants kids)
• Healthy emotional health (they may have had some bad experiences) but they don’t let those beliefs or experiences affect current relationships
• She is healthy, playful and fun to be around
• Is vulnerable when she feels uncertain about our relationship rather than lashing out at me.

8|Life Goals

• Desires to have kids (2-3)
• Wants to have dogs (2 - adopted)
• Will support me in my career goals - public speaking, writing, therapy/seminars
• Desires to live outside of the country
• Wants to spend a year traveling with the kids

9|Values

• I don’t care about religious beliefs, but she must be respectful of people who hold different beliefs than her.
• She is more liberal than conservative, but not super into politics
• She has strong family values and believes that family comes first. She is close to her family.
• She believes that men and women are equal and doesn’t go around saying men are useless
• She is open to new sexual experiences, but knows that amazing sex is not about whips or sex toys, but more about our ability to connect and create passionate intimacy.

10|Romance

• Shows romantic gestures with little surprises - notes, planned trips, or a romantic dinner
• She shows me she loves me by spending quality time with me and by touching me
• She is willing and able to put quality effort into making the relationship amazing
• Sometimes she goes out of her way to be considerate, attentive and proactive, not because she feels the need to but because she wants to.
• Is a huge cuddler
• Things I am funny and tells me that
• Wants to go on a one-on-one date with me once a month (min)
• Shows her support by attending holiday parties and other events with me
• Wants to become close with my family and wants me to be closer with hers
• Desires to talk to me everyday, even when I am traveling for work

Step II: Organize List into Must-Haves & Nice-to-Haves

Coming soon.

Step III: Compatibility Test

Scoring system (points) coming soon.

Step IV: Design a List of Questions/ Statements I Can Use on a Date

Coming soon.

Step V: List Potential “Mating Markets”

Coming soon.

Step VI: Schedule a Time To RePrime and Revise

Coming soon.

Step VII: Create a Date Grader

What is a date grader? A date grader allows you to avoid getting into those toxic relationships that feel so right but you know are so wrong. It logically and emotionally protects you from future drama and terrible relationships. To learn more, visit here.

Below is my date grader - Last date: 1/3/2015

A grade above an 85% (B) tells you this person with worth going on another date. 84% and below is not, in my opinion.