Rebecca’s high heels clicked on the linoleum floor in the restaurant lobby. iPhone in hand, Ronnie followed closely behind as the two were cheerfully greeted by a petite hostess. Ronnie took the lead.

“For 2, in the dining room please. Thanks.”

The hostess flicked through her seating binder, tensed her cheeks as to make her lips as thin as possible, gently tilted her head a few degrees to the right and through squinting eyes begged forgiveness on account of the only seats available, were not in the dining room, but in the bar.

“That’s fine, right?” Ronnie looked at Rebecca but didn’t wait for a response. “We’ll take it.”

The soundtrack in the lounge, expertly curated to suit the young professionals having now descended from their grey office buildings, and carefully censored to remove any language not approved by the corporate head office, was just quiet enough that conversation was possible, albeit with some effort and the occasional need to turn one's head perpendicular to their counterparts.

As the two took their seats at the bar, Ronnie tucked the blinking iPhone into the left breast pocket and began to converse.

“You know, market research suggests that music that is played just a few, that is to say 1 or 2 decibels too loud actually promotes consumption. You see,  consumers have the tendency to drink more when they aren't as engaged in stimulating conversation. We had a lunch-and-learn about this very phenomenon, and others like it, given to us by a marketing expert. He was the Vice President of Marketing, from one of the top marketing firms in the city. The thesis of the presentation was about how to incorporate marketing theory into our consulting practice, to help increase our efficiency. Using marketing. It was just before you joined the office, maybe 3-4 months before. I don’t remember the exact magnitude of the increase, but I believe it had an impact of around 5% on top line sales. I made a connection with him on LinkedIn, I could get the powerpoint deck for you if you’d like.”

Rebecca nodded along politely.

“I’ll put a reminder to get the deck for you in my Google calendar.”

Ronnies’ calendar was programmed meticulously. The time to watch Netflix - one hour - a daily allowance Ronnie awarded to the daily agenda had been substituted for this outing. Socialization and the development of Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, as Ronnie called it, was considered in some leading business journals just as important as a technical skill set and for this reason Ronnie was happy to substitute the usual Netflix time-slot for something that could be considered more productive.  Quantitatively, managers with strong EQ’s outperformed their counterparts by 13%. Ronnie had been sure to highlight this statistic while reading in bed in Q4 of last year.

 “Anyways, let’s have a cocktail. That will give us time to pick a few appetizers, I’ll pick one, and you pick one, and we can share. It will be more efficient that way. Does that sound good?”

For the second time, Ronnie didn’t wait for a response.

The next 45 minutes passed quickly, accompanied by an upbeat electronic dance soundtrack. The music was not so energizing that one would want to dance, but lively enough that perhaps one might tap their fingers on the bar top. Ronnie did not indulge. At the top of the hour, Rebecca succeeded in persuading Ronnie to have one more, but assuredly final drink. It was Rebecca’s night away from her kids, and although the drinks at this bar were quite expensive, she didn’t want to let a night with a baby sitter go to waste.  The two ordered and a few minutes later the bartender slid the cocktails across the bar top.

“Here you go.”

“That's with Stevia and not simple syrup, right?” Ronnie confirmed with the bartender, grabbed the stem of the glass, took a careful sip and addressed Rebecca.

“You know, Elon and Mark, they never have sugar. I read an article about top performers across multiple industries. What the researchers found was that diet was considered as a statistically significant variable when predicting overall individual performance in the workplace.”

Rebecca smiled politely and as she reached for her drink a gentle ring sounded from her purse. She apologized profusely as she excused herself assuring Ronnie that she never looked at her phone when she was having dinner or drinks, but she had to take the call and that she would be right back.

Ronnie took advantage of the short pause in what had now been more than a full hour of socialization and began scrolling through the iPhone that had been flashing and flickering non-stop since the two had taken their seats.  Ronnie checked the emails that had come in over the last hour and took these few minutes of downtime to read a PDF version of a junior employee’s PowerPoint Presentation that would be presented to a client in 2 weeks. Ronnie tapped on the touch screen and without hesitation began to write:

Good evening,

A few comments:

-The font is off on slide 17 and 18.

-There are alignment issues in the third section.

-As I mentioned earlier, we decided on using the word ‘online order’ and not ‘virtual order’ . Please be sure to change this throughout the document.

-The color scheme is not in accordance with the client approved template. Maybe it is because I am on my phone, but please confirm that the color scheme is approved by the client’s marketing department.

-Please change the word ‘grey’ to ‘gray' on slide 33 - this document may be seen by some Directors in our client's American office.

We can discuss the full document tomorrow at 8:00, via zoom, or at 13:30, when I am in the office. Please send me a formal meeting request by 22:00.

Have a great evening!

Ronnie Kennedy, MBA, BBA, CPHR.

Manager, Change Management and Organization Design.

Looking up from the iPhone to see where Rebecca had gone, Ronnie noticed that the bar had quieted down considerably, and where before the seats had been full of lively young professionals, now the bar was nearly empty.

“So, what do you guys do?”

 The Bartender asked while still looking at the lemons and limes he was cutting into wedges.

“I’m a Consultant, my specialization is in Change Management. The woman I am with works as an administrative assistant. She isn't a Consultant, she actually doesn't even have a Masters degree, but we work in the same office.”

The Bartender put his elbows on the table leaning in, feigning interest. “Oh cool, so what does a Consultant do?”

Ronnie straightened up. Preparing to respond with the elevator pitch, a speech well rehearsed on many occasions, and wielded confidently in many initial briefing meetings with new clients, collaborators, colleagues and potential partners.

“Well, I work mostly in Change Management and Organizational Design. My focus is primarily on Change Management strategy, helping support large enterprises properly manage resources and prioritize activities during new systems and or initiative launches.”

The Bartender responded innocently. “That sounds really interesting, but you must forgive me, at the risk of asking a stupid question, would you be able to give me an example of what it is you do, or maybe just break it down a little bit for me, I am not sure I completely understand.”

“Well, it’s really quite simple actually. Not the work itself, I must say that Organizational Change theory can be quite complex, what with all the moving parts and all the different stakeholders and their often competing objectives, but in a nutshell what we try to do is quite straightforward, we don't try to boil the ocean, so to speak. We help companies deal with big changes, at a high level. I consult on communication strategies, monitor culture,  organizational wellness, and other different metrics to ensure that the negative impacts to operations are minimized and that implementations of new initiatives hit productivity targets, at or before schedule. One thing that really confuses lots of our new hires, is that our focus is at the Executive level, so we try our best to stay out of the day to day, and we direct our communication to Directors and Middle Managers to empower them to ensure Change Management initiatives move seamlessly and with little quantitative or qualitative impacts to overall performance and employee well-being KPI’s.”

The bartender forced a grin while drying a pint glass. “So what did you have to study to get into that work, it sounds fuckin’ complicated.”

“Well, I did my bachelors degree in Business Administration and minored Management. In between my 2nd and 3rd year, and my 3rd and 4th year, I interned at a big 4 and had the opportunity to gain exposure to different business units. What really stood out to me was HR - Human Resources - I love the human aspect of business and I am really quite a people person, so I looked at gaining experience in this domain and got a few credentials on top of my full time studies, I also tried to get involved in the undergrad consulting club. When I graduated I went to work at a different big 4, because I wanted to expand my horizons and get a broader view. Through all my projects I really continued to develop my specialty in Human Resources and fell in love with having such a large impact on company culture. After three years I developed a career plan with an industry mentor, he was a VP at the firm, and decided I would do an MBA to better position myself for management long term. I was hired back after my MBA, which was a great learning experience. I really got the opportunity to learn from the diverse expertise of my classmates, and was even the Human Resource Director for the Graduate Consulting club. Anyhow, I got rehired back to my old firm, but this time as a Senior Consultant. I moved into a manager role only 2 years after being rehired and I am actually expecting to make Senior Manager by Q4.”

“Big 4?”

“You know. The prestigious accounting and consulting firms, EY, KPMG, Deloitte, PWC. You know. The big 4.”

“Wow, impressive. So, tell me, what do you like to do for fun? When you’re not working.”

“I'm a huge reader. I love books.”

The bartender's eyes lit up.

“Me too! I know it's silly, but I actually just finished 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I can't believe it took me so long to get around to it, usually the really well acclaimed novels, I feel at least are a bit-”

“I'm personally not a big fan of fiction, I don't really see a direct utility to it. If I want entertainment, Netflix seems to be more efficient.”

The bartender’s lit up eyes dissolved quickly into listless apathy.

“Okay, so what do you like to read?”

“Well, the classics, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Leaning In, I love history and biographies and of course, Shoe Dog about the Nike CEO is really underrated. I love Brene Brown and I am reading some Gladwell right now.”

“I’ve read a few Malcom Gladwell books, he’s really interesting, what do you think of-”

“Yeah, quite interesting, I guess I just don't know what I am getting out of it. There are some great tips on communication which of course seem useful to me, but lots of the anecdotes seem a little bit like he is just spilling ink for the sake of a page count. It could be more concise. »

The bar had emptied out by now, and Rebecca was on her way back

“So, do you have any children?”

“God no. I don't want to have any children until I hit Senior Manager, or maybe even Partner. Besides, with my two dogs and the travel for work I just don't see how I would be able to handle it. You know, having two dogs is probably already more work than a child. What with all the walks and obedience courses. You know, a child after two years, I know because a lot of my friends have children that are really young, when they get to two years old they really become quite independent, but dogs are very demanding throughout their whole lives. I am up at 5:30 taking mine out for a run, we usually do about 6k, and then of course I try to work from home as much as possible because they actually do get quite lonely, I just cant stand when people leave their dog home all alone, or worse, in a kennel, I think that its animal abuse, and I honestly think it should be on par with child abuse in the eyes of the law. But no. No children, not for the foreseeable future.”

“Married?”

“No. I actually don’t believe in marriage. I think it’s quite demeaning. And of course the whole naming convention, that is so antiquated. Besides, I would need a prenup, so it just doesn't make sense. I would never want to be with someone that believed so strongly in needing a piece of paper to define the value of their relationship anyway.”

Rebecca had just gotten back from the washroom.

“Listen, I am so sorry, but John is across the city and traffic is so bad, he won't be able to pick up the kids from the sitter, I feel just awful, but I need to run to grab the kids, I am so sorry, please don't hate me, I know it was my idea that we grab drinks.”

“Of course not! Go. I’ll just finish my drink and get going, I have to get the dogs out anyway. I can just grab an Uber.”

Rebecca left.

“You see, that is why I don't want any kids, I couldn't imagine losing all my freedom.”

The bartender nodded and laughed unconvincingly as he pulled a beer for the couple sitting across from Ronnie.

Ronnie took a quick sip, just as the iPhone rang. It was the VP of one of the office’s biggest clients. The conversation took about 30 minutes. After the call Ronnie signaled to the bartender for the bill.

“I am so late. I feel horrible. I really need to get the dogs out, could you just pass me the bill.”

“Sure thing.”

The bartender brought over the credit card machine.

“You wanted to know what I do for work. Well I was just on the phone with a client. He is a VP of a large multinational company - a really important project. It’s an SAP implementation.”

“I'm sorry, but I've never heard of that.” the bartender replied.

“I don't want to get into the weeds about it, but essentially it is a large system that manages all of an organization's data from different business units. It's incredibly adaptable, but there is a large and expensive scale up process. In this project I am ensuring that all managers are aware of potential risks and organizing workshops with superusers so that we can ensure all information does not remain siloed and we can create synergies throughout different business units during the training process, thus, of course, driving efficiencies throughout the entire organization.”

The bartender, now utterly defeated, closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose before responding.

“I have no clue what you are talking about.”

He ripped the receipt, placed it in front of Ronnie’s empty drink, walked back to the beer taps and began pouring an amber ale into a plastic pitcher.

“I’ve wasted so much time in this bar this evening, this was the most unproductive hour of my week.” Ronnie thought as she walked outside and awaited her Uber. She had to be up early for her 6k, and she still had two PowerPoint Presentation’s to review. Not to mention her dogs. How lonely they must be, she thought. At least she didn't have to pick up her kids like Rebecca. She felt a bit better as her Uber pulled up. It was a Prius.