Stories told by SSRI users:

Summary: Several percent of people taking SSRI antidepressants are developing lack of feeling of romantic love toward their partners. It is due to high serotonin and low dopamine  level induced by these drugs.

- I love you as a brother / friend / roommate but I’m not in love with you

- I don’t know why I married you / I felt out of love many years agpo

- possible affairs, gambling, street drug use, divorce

- most users don’t  have any insight that their behavior changes are made by drugs.

- most users after several months of withdrawal come back to old self and have serious issues with things they did while on SSRI


Melbourne, Australia

I really need some advice and some help because I feel so alone and like the worst person in the world.

For the past 12 years I have been married to the most wonderful man known to all mankind. He is honest, loyal, supportive, kind and loving. Everything I or anyone could ever wish for. He has loved me through thick and thin (Literally weight wise) and I hate myself so much for saying this but I am feeling like I don't love him anymore.

I was initially diagnosed as having Major Depression with Sucidal Idiations and now the've changed the diagnosis to Bi Polar and through all of it I loved my husband. There were times where I didn't feel affectionate but always I knew I loved him. It wasn't until they began to reduce my effexor from 412.5mg per day by 37.5 per week so that I can just be on Bi Polar meds that my deep deep love for this man just vanished overnight. I still love him in a way, but it's like he's my best friend, like a brother. We've been together so long and done so much together. I care about him so much as a friend that it's killing me to hurt him and tell him how I am feeling. Please please tell me this will go away! Please I am desperate to know I will love him again. I am now down to 150mg per day of Effexor and I am not emotional in a general sense but just about this one issue. Sorry If I am rambling and all over the place but I just don't have the words to say how lost I am in this situation.

LEXAPRO - Aonymous

Houston, TX

I too took lexapro. I have cats that I love dearly along with my hubby. About 4 years or a little more, the same damn thing happened. I just decided suddenly I didn't love him or the cats anymore which was completely out of character for me. I called a friend one day and said I am a new and completely different person. It was sudden and drastic. My hubby was so devastated he attempted suicide...and other horrible things happened. One day, I just stopped taking the drug and very soon the old me returned. I called my friend and told her the old me was back. My hubby works out of town so that had given me time to realize what my life would have been without him. Thank god we did not divorce, I once again love,everybody but I am so ashamed about things that I did, I am disgusted by my actions. I didn't know the reason why but I do now. My wish the rest of you luck...I know how devastating this can be for people. This rx needs to be taken off the market no doubt. I hope this helps.

CITALOPRAM  - AlisonClair


have been on Citalopram for just over a year. I feel completely devoid of emotion for my boyfriend of nearly eight years. To see the hurt in his eyes when I tell him I don't love him just breaks my heart. I feel tremendous guilt every day, and often think it would be easier to leave, if only to let him get on with his life, and to stop this guilt I feel. I have no idea if this detachment I feel is because I really don't love him, or if its a symptom of this depression, or a side effect of the Citalopram. Every day just seems a nightmare.

LEXAPRO - Saraiah

Neptune, NJ

Hi I was put on ssri lexapro only took 20 pills in two months but felt like I was looking at myself though in a happy long term relationship I had a strange triste with coworker much older than myself / they clearly wanted me but I didn't seem to care either way -my spouse caught my texts with coworker and confronted me--I since came off lexapro dr says no relationship my spouse and I disagree --I kissed them -- what else might have happened since I was talking inappropriately for months ?! Will never get on ssri again

lost to lexapro

Tel Aviv-yafo, Israel

Lexapro ruined my life I did not have any idea it had this side effect. i left my husband of 20 years and NOw I am lost

CIPRALEX - UK version of  Lexapro / Escitalopram - SAD

Bolton, UK

i was on cipralex it changed me totally i started hating my husband, had an affair not my personality at all to do that, i thought i was invinsable everyone round me said i had changed i wasnt me no more but i felt great 2 years later after being off the drug im more like me and i know i love my husband so much but that drug ruined my life and now ive lost him but i no that drug changed the way i behaved im now depressed again but id rather not go back on that drug ever

LEXAPRO - mr dublin

Dublin, Ireland

Hi ,I took lexapro for six weeks,it made me into another person,had an affair,I know it was caused by lexapro,one year on, now i want answers,is it worth persuing legally,we are still together,but my wife still needs convincing,could anyone reply to this please for her to read and let her know im not making excuses please,many thanks,



Prospect Park, PA

I was switched fro 10mg Lexapro to 37.5 Effexor to help with migraines after I developed kidney stones from topamax. I trusted my Neurologist and didnt think twice about the med he gave me. Yesterday I hit my low and actually went psycho. I am truly ready to commit myself because of how moods change. My husband and I are trying to work things out and I have an appointment with my primary dr today to discuss getting off this med.

The one post about women leaving their husband for someone the opposite was totaly true. I did and ended up hurting another person in the process and its killing me too inside.


I have only been taking citalopram since monday its now saturday i seemed to have forgotten all my feelings for my boyfriend. We were so happy together and i felt tearful and unhappy with other things before i felt no feelings for him has anyone got any answers??


United States

I stumbled upon this thread while searching the side effect of Celexa. I am on about day 8 of 10 mg a day. Over the years I have tried many different antidepressants and have always been very sensitive to them. I have had anxiety attacks for 11 years now. No depression other than the small bouts I get when I am wore out on the attacks. I am also taking Xanax xr. My problem is within the past couple of days my family says something is clearly different in me. As if I don't care about things as much. What I have personally noticed is my sexual inhibition is slipping. I am finding myself fantasizing about other men and I am losing interest in my husband. I am afraid of what I could possibly do. But at the same time I cannot deal with my attacks anymore. Every doctor I see pushes the antidepressants on me.I don't know what to do. Any suggestions before my life is completely ruined?*sighs*


Adelaide, Australia

a couple of weeks after taking effexor (which I abruptly stopped on account of its adverse effects on my diabetes and ability to feel my blood sugar dropping) and then lexapro, i woke up one day, no longer in love, after many years. I am still young, very confused, and its terrible. and I havent even cried yet, which doesnt make sense, I just keep sleeping, hoping ill wake up in love again or something. If there was a medical explanation it would make a lot more sense, at least, i dont know. I thought serotonin was supposed to be like love, and therefore should it not make us feel more love?

LEXAPRO (escitalopram) - massivent

London, UK

I can't believe I have just found all of these posts! I cannot explain how relieved I am that it wasn't just me, and that I'm not a horrible person, the escitalopram just made me that way.

I only started taking 10mg around the beginning of October, by the end of the month I had broken up with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years, who I had liked ever since I was 13 years old (I'm nearly 21 now). I don't recall what made me do this, and I feel so stupid for letting it happen.

After that one of his friends, who I was also close with came round mine one night cause he was feeling down. I took him out to a party and that's when I made the biggest mistake of my life. He stayed around mine and from there we had this 'secretive' sort of relationship thing going on for a few weeks, for some reason it felt completely normal at the time. I do feel lucky though, after reading some of the posts on here - as the situation could of gotten much worse. I realised how much I missed and loved my ex, what I had done repulsed me, and still does every day.

A week later it was halloween and my ex boyfriend needed a place to stay, I said it was fine, but I felt sick with guilt just thinking about seeing him again. In the end me and my ex went out together, and had a really nice time, he was being so sweet and lovely, he thought it was his fault we had broken up, it still makes me so guilty:(

Because we had had such a nice night together he stayed round the next night, we didn't do anything, not even kissing, just enjoying each others company again. This was when I realised what I had done, I felt sick to my stomach, I was still in love with my ex and didn't want to lose him.

I got woken up at 2am, he had looked through my messages and seen one with the friend and knew what had happened. I told him everything, the guilt was unbearable, I wanted to die, the thought of life without him wasn't worth it. The worst thing is who it was that I slept with, the fact he was supposed to be my ex's friend.

I am back with my boyfriend at the moment, but understandably he no longer trusts me. He says it's because he loves me, and cares but worries about me because my emotions are so erratic. Some moments I am happy, the next I want to die. I wish my boyfriend would believe that the escitalopram did that and not me. I love him to death.

I am no longer on the pills, had to wean myself off as the Doctor was trying to up my dosage despite myself saying I wanted out.

Sorry about how long that was, I just didn't know anyone else out there had suffered like this also, and nobody else understands.

CIPRALEX / LEXAPRO - Emile Ghorayeb

Montreal, Canada

I lost my soulmate because of this piece of shit drug. I was on cipralex for 1 1/2 years. My poor baby went through so much shut because of me, I used to tell at her and not give a shit about the repercussions. I've been of of it for 4 weeks and I can feel again. But I lost her. And now my world is empty. I am nothing without her.

LEXAPRO - Aneta (example of windows and weaves during withdrawal)

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and I have always loved him very much,felt warm,caring about him,I wanted to marry him..But unfortunatelly in december’07 I started feeling very nervous,I shaked I had many negative thoughts(I was afraid that something bad could happened to my BF or to my family).The same situation like in case of Marlies;it was somewhat of an extreme of the depression I’d been feeling for a couple years before hand.Two days later I thought: Do I still love my BF??I was scared??I didn’t know what it was!!I lost interest in everything,I was really depressed.My boyfriend always has been with me,being very supportive and he said he would always be there for me.

One month later I started taking Lexapro(10 mg)and then I stopped caring of my boyfriend,my family…I was happy but just with myself ,I prefered to be alone.

Three months later I was off Lexapro.I didn’t want to feel that emotional emptiness anymore!!Immediately I started feeling warm towards my boyfriend and loving him!!Unfortunatelly I got sick again and I stopped caring:((I just wanted to dissapear!!I didn’t know why it was like that!!I didn’t understood.I started taking Motival and again I had that emotional feeling,I wanted to marry my boyfriend,I said to everybody.I was so in love!!Till today there are times when I feel love,there are times that I feel so sad because I feel like I would not love my boyfriend anymore;(( I just would love to feel like I used to.Without that chaos!!

I don’t know what to do.Deep inside of me I feel that I love my boyfriend but there’s something that sometimes makes me feel like I don’t care…

LEXAPRO - becca

London, UK

Hi, I've posted on here before and shared my experience with escitalopram. I am only 21, but this disgusting drug made me ruin my 3 year relationship with my boyfriend. I broke up with him and slept with his friend more than once. I stopped taking escitalopram when I could see again, I realised what I had done, and ever since have felt ashamed and disgusted of myself every day.

My boyfriend did take me back, and my love for him is stronger than ever, but now it's all getting dug up again...Two days ago I finally went and did what I should of done a long time ago and got tested for STI's (we did not use any protection...I WAS NOT myself, before I had always used condoms), but I have to wait 10-14 working days for the results! I have now gotten in to a massive panic (I suffer from bad anxiety), and don't know how to wait that long. I am now convincing myself that I have HIV and have given it to my boyfriend. This probably sounds really stupid to everyone, and all my friends are just laughing I would even suggest such a thing. But what if I really am that unlucky, I know I just have to wait for the results, and now my worry is making my boyfriend worried and angry at me, because i'm convincing him I have something.

I am petrified, I love him so much, I don't want this horrible memory to haunt him his entire life, and I know I couldn't live with it. I'm just hoping I am paranoid, I haven't suffered any symptoms...but I still worry.

Sorry for the rant, and Bluesmurf, I didn't even know what depersonalization meant when I read it, and wasn't aware when I was experiencing it.

LEXAPRO - Natalie

Brisbane, Australia

I took Lexapro for two years for depression after my second child was born. Initially I felt "lighter" and began to enjoy life again. But soon aferwards I started noticing a personality change in myself. It started with my work (I am a CEO) where I took uncharacteristic risks, not caring about the consequences. Normally a relatively calm and quiet person, I started going out late at night drinking, sometimes three or four nights in a row. this was a very frustrating time for my husband as I am sure he was wondering where his wife of nearly 10 years had gone. I would swing from having no feelings at all (going to extremely sad movies where I would normally be in tears but feeling absolutely nothing) to extreme aggression (arguing with anyone who didn't agree with me). This post struck home to me because i remember having a conversation with my husband about this very same topic. In the last few months of taking Lexapro I decided that i no longer loved my husband and asked for a divorce. he was shattered. I felt nothing. Even when I realized that our son had heard me say this, I still felt nothing. I don't know what made me realize that this bizarre change in character, temperament, behavior etc came about due to Lexapro, but I just had a nagging feeling about it. It was a very difficult drug to wean off but I managed to do it with my husband's support. Now, two years later I am completely "normal" again and have reverted back to my original personality. When I look back at those two years now I can't believe how patient my family was and how scary it must have been for them. I was never told that these side effects would be so devastating. Unfortunately when you are in the situation it is much like being in a storm cloud - you don't realize that you are in the storm until you stop taking it and can "step out" of the situation and see it in hindsight. I sincerely hope that the makers of Lexapro can begin to be nmore upfront about these side effects. I wonder if I am alone in this?

LEXAPRO - lost too

Downingtown, PA

I am 28 and was on Lexapro for about 5 years for anxiety. At first I thought it was wonderful. It wasn't until years later that I had radically changed. I am so happy to have found this site because I thought I had lost my mind. I cheated on my husband and 1. didn't even seem to have a reason why and 2. felt somewhat numb afterwards. I also had that same feeling about my significant other i.e. that we were turning into roomates and just a general numbness...maybe that's why, in retrospect, I resorted to engaging some risk-taking behaviors? Sorry--this is sort of a stream of consciousness. Anyway, I decided to stop the pills about 6 months ago and now the weight of how I acted is overwhelming me--nearly having panic attacks when I think of the inifidelity. You have to understand that before the medication I was with my significant other for 5 years and NEVER even kissed another person even while in college. I was so against any form of infidelity! Fast forward and I am a lying monster with little feeling. The guilt is crushing me, not to mention feelings of 'how the hell could you do that?!' I can only say that the me before I started lexapro was radically different from the me now. And although I am regaining emotions etc. I still don't feel 100% like the old me. Maybe that's because I feel I have ruined everything with my behaviors the last few years. I had been racking my brain trying to understand how I could have changed so much during the past few years and I began thinking I was just a pretty terrible person. It's a horrible feeling. I wish I had NEVER gone on that drug and I cannot believe my doctor let me just stay on it for so long.

Thank you all so much for posting your experiences with your significant others on SSRI' has helped me so much.


Woodinville, WA

Both my husband and I were on celexa, I was given 20mg of celexa for post mental distress about 4 years ago, I started tellig my husband that I did not love him, would not let him touch me, told him that if he wanted sex to get it some place else and that I wanted to live by myself. Well my husband was also on Celexa 20mg for depression. My GP changed my mg to 40 in December I did not feel good on the 40 so I would only take half. My husband took it upon himself to take 40mg he said the 20 wasn't

January he started drinking and going to strip clubs in April he was having sex with a hooker that was a stripper he had sex with her once or twice a week till November. I remember in November he told me that he was going to tapper off of celexa he said that is when he realized what he was doing and stopped with her. He gave her so much money that we are loosing our house. After I found out some of the truth he wanted to kill himself, he was then put in mental hospital. He says he doesn't know if the celexa was the reason for him doing this. I want to say screw you and leave but if it was the celexa how can I . He says he beleived me when I told him that I didn't love him. So how will I know if it was

the celexa or just him screwing around? I really need help.


Monroe, LA

I was not on effexor, but had been put on lexapro, wellbutrin, zoloft, before finally being put on prozac, all this in combination with xanax that I developed an addiction to, followed by a hysterectomy at 32. I began lying to my husband of 15 years, with which by all accounts I had the most absolutely amazing marriage you could have asked for, and was very happy until my hormones screwed up and i got depressed at which point they started trying me on this array of anitdepressants. I cheated numerous times, and couldn't tell you why, and all the sudden one day i packed my stuff and up and walked out the door on my husband and my two beautiful children, who still don't have much to do with me now. IT RUINED MY LIFE, AND THERE'S NO FIXING IT! I began using drugs, and got caught up illegally using street drugs, before i finally got myself together. I hope and pray everyday to have the restoration of my family, even though we did get divorced. I am so very sorry for the things I did, and am still told to this day things I said and did, that I have absolutely no recollection of. I AGREE DOCTORS ARE ENTIRELY TOO FREE WITH ALL THESE MIND ALTERING DRUGS, THE EFFECTS ARE DEVASTATING!

Do you have some links I can look at regarding prozac and causing this behavior, because it happened to me, and no one believes me, that this is what happened to me, I lost my marriage and I husband I loved with my whole heart, my relationship with my children is destroyd, and I desperately want to rebuild, but they dont understand, that wasn't me that did those things, please help me find the info to give to my ex husband

LEXAPRO - Lexaprogress

Holy crap. If I understand correctly, you are saying that you have memories of time that passed during your taper and withdrawal, but no emotion attachments to that time? That is exactly how I feel about the past 6 months of my withdrawal! I think I mentioned this in my most recent thread, too.

Before withdrawal I had the same circle of friends that I do now, but some things have changed. I've sort of made new friends too, and my friends have grown emotionally and changed their interests greatly through experience, the passage of time, and maturation etc. Also my relationship with them has become far more distant than it ever was because of withdrawal, but for some reason, now that I'm coming back to reality and my emotions as I'm recovering, I still feel and talk to my friends as if we still hold the same bond we did before I began withdrawal. Also, any friends I made during withdrawal I have no emotional attachment too. They are more like acquaintances. Also, I had a sort of romantic relationship with this girl before withdrawal, then during withdrawal it was shattered, along with our friendship. But now, for some reason, I feel like I had a crush on her just yesterday! Even though the last time I felt feelings for her was half a year ago.

ZOLOFT / CELEXA (Citalopram) - therealme

I was a completely normal person for over 35 years before celexa turned me into a crazy person. I had been married for 14 years and had 3 children that I adored. The reason I began taking antidepressants in the first place was depression caused by unexplained infertillity. I had some miscarriages, too. I was honestly depressed. Once I began taking Zoloft it helped. I wasn't as sad or angry anymore. After I had my first child I never considered going off of antidepressants because all of the doctors I had seen told me that once you start you don't get off of them. They said it is usually to hard. So here I was, a regular person just living my life with my husband who I loved and my 3 gorgeous kids. Now, don't get me wrong- life was not perfect. My husband and I had fights just like any couple and my kids would make me crazy from time to time but isn't that life? I'm pretty sure it is. When I changed to celexa I got a huge burst of energy! That was a great feeling! I had felt tired for years. I don't know when I began going off the deep end but once I fell off I was GONE! Suddenly I didn't pay attention to my kids anymore(I dote on my kids like noones business) and I hated my husband. I have never hated ANYONE! But a few months on celexa and no one mattered but me and I was 17 again and the best thing since sliced bread! I thought I was Megan Fox hot and all I wanted was attention from other men. It was rediculous! I am a God fearing woman! I love my Heavenly Father! I believe in Heaven and Hell! While on this drug I still believed most of what I was taught all of my life but I didn't care about it one bit. All I cared about was the high I would get from the attention I got online. I would stop at nothing to get it. My husband is a very hansome man who I have always been attracted to. He has always been in great physical shape and our sex life has never been anything but fabulous. Yes, even with kids in our life. But that wasn't enough for me on celexa. I wanted that high. I allowed other men to do things to me(that I did not find pleasant)just so they would keep paying attention to me on the internet. How pyschotic is that? Let's cheat on the hot, loving husband that has always been there for me with the disgusting pieces of trash I don't know from Adam just for the sake of some online attention. Ya, that makes sense. The point I am trying to make is that IT ISN'T YOU! IT ISN'T THEM!! If you have someone in you life that has suddenly gone crazy because of ssri's- rest assured they do not realize it! The ONLY reason I am not still under the influence of this stupid drug is because when I realized I no longer wanted the children I had spent 7 years on my knees begging God for, I handed the reins to my husband. I stopped and looked around and literally thought "HOLY ****!" I realized I could not trust my own judgement. I asked my husband to fix it. I didn't know what to do. The first thing he did was to make me an appointment with a doctor to get me off of celexa. As soon as the drugs started leaving my system my mind began to clear. I began coming back. It was a long hard road and I am so grateful to my husband and my family for getting in my face and saying "HELLO! You are MESSED UP!". I can't even tell you how grateful. So I am trying desperately to give back. I am contacting everyone I can in the government to get involved with the regulations of ssri prescriptions. A doctor should NEVER be allowed to prescribe a mind altering drug for 12 months and not have to see the patient during that time! ANY drug should be monitored, no less an ssri!! So if there is anyone reading this that needs help let me know! I will do my best! Also, if there is anyone reading this that can steer me in the right direction to make a difference please let me know! I am just a housewife. I don't know a lot about medicine or legalities. But I do know that someone needs to do something! I am more than willing to be that person. Please help if you can.

CELEXA (CITALOPRAM) - Devasted - is there hope??

I am in my office crying… I was madly in love with my boyfriend – six months is not a long time but we have the same values, have fun together, and I LOVED being with him. On the Friday I sent my mom an email with people who I would want at my wedding. He has not asked me yet but I was euphoric with anticipation. God loved me – I was finally happy and was going to have my true love and husband and children. Literally out of the blue the very next day, I felt sick and was crippled with anxiety. It was like someone switched off a switch of my feelings for him and I was so sick with anxiety and severe depression that I admitted myself in the hospital (short stay). My psychiatrist put me on 60mg Celexa and am taking an anti anxiety med so I can function. Someone else said they are devastated because the very same thing happened to them. What can we do? I do not want to end my relationship either but am sick with anxiety fear guilt because those “feelings” are gone … or different. God please help us. We are so devastated…. I don’t know what else to do.


I been on Citalopram for about 5 years it was only 14 months ago I entered a reletionship and i loved this person deeply she was a great part of my life but at times it was hard cause i would have no sexual desires at all i knew this was side effect but i didnt know the ssri stopped the ability to fall in love which what happened to me

even thou i love her it was like i couldnt expressed my love and it was like my feelings were blocked

i think Citalopram SSRI caused alot of problems in the relationship

it stopped my ability to really feel the love and it stopped my desires

i know the meds are great for treating depression but the side effects can can take its toll  Crying or Very sad

Has anyone been in relationship while they were on Citalopram and found that it was hard to love that person even feel that your emotions are just num and there was no feelings no emotions no sexual dedires

i think ssri can really effect realationships

and when you go off the meds you realise you get all feeling back

i use to best myself up thinking what was wrong with me why couldnt i act on and feel love but i guess i had the meds to thank for that.


I am so grateful I came across this forum. I was looking for an explanation for what I have done to nearly RUIN MY LIFE when I read therealme's post. I related to EVERY single aspect of her story. I had even moved out of my home that I love, left my husband whom I love, and was going to be satisfied with joint custody for the rest of my small children's lives. I cheated on my loving husband with absolutely NO GUILT at all - I decided it was because it was "right" or I would feel the guilt that a God-fearing Christian woman should feel. My affair partner and I had so much in common and had an amazing connection. I now know why. He was on the same krazzy pills and probably in the same hypomanic state as me. We could do no wrong and the world better adjust to us and our twisted mind set. Hindsight makes me so angry and ashamed with myself.

The whole time, my husband kept telling me that maybe it was those pills! I decided he was looking for something to blame for our marital problems other than himself.

Finally, I got enough sense to do some math - my whole life had spun out of control 1 month after initiating Celexa and here I am 10 months later amazed at how nuts I was. These drugs should not be prescribed by someone who doesn't have a psychiatry degree! I was having anxiety that should have just been dealt with in a natural way instead of taking psych drugs prescribed by my OB/GYN! What a joke!

The side effects from coming off of this stuff make me realize these medications are no joke and should never be taken lightly. I have never stopped praying during this mess and praying to help me as I deal with the horrible withdrawal side effects. As I am coming clean (1 week and 1 day ), the clarity and the aftermath of what I have done are extremely hard to face. I have learned how medication can take 10 years of happy (not perfect) marriage and almost ruin it in 4 months. Thank God I have my mind back - and thank God I stumbled on this site because you all gave me the strength to do what I knew I needed to do! I feel like I am reclaiming the life I so loved and enjoyed. I hope my words may help someone - anyone.

CITALOPRAM - Aleksandra

Chrzanów, Poland

I have taken paroxetyne for 5 years and then the doctor changed it to citalopram and i realised I have no libido...then the doctor changed it to fluvoxamine and I realised I can`t feel love for my boyfriend. It was a tragedy because we planned to get married:( It was the beginning of the horror. I gave up all medicaments but I lose all the feelings! All! I can`t even feel any mood...I feel almost nothing for 2 years:(


My God! Its true! Six months on citlopram 10mg and I wanted my 30 year marriage to be over! Every little thing about him annoyed me, and this is a loving, smart, capable man. I decided to come off the meds and within One week all my normal feeings were back! The meds did not take away the sadness, just made me blame them on my husband! Horrors, is this what the world is coming to?


I have been on & off Citalapram for 2-3 years now. This is the second time i have left my husband as my feelings for him have gone…… is it the tablets???


I am so sorry for all of you who are legitimatly having problems due to these drugs. I must say, I am a “monster”. I was in a loving relationship for 7 years, marrired for 4 of them. We were very happy together. I cheated on him the the first year but I was much younger and naive and got suckered in. We go through that and had been faithful and loving to each other ever since. We have a son together that 2years old now.

I was put on 20mg of Celexa for anxiety from stress at work for about 6 months. A few months in things were great, I noticed no side effects and our sexual relations got very strong. Suddenly, what I can remember is very blurry, but I alienated myself from him and my friends. I told him the Ilove you but” speach as well. I had an affair and then divorced him. He tried to stand by me for a while but then gave up. I told him to move on and he did.

I have been off the drug for a few months now and I am petrified at what I have done! I can’t explain enough of how it did not feel like me! I am so sorry for what I’ve done and now he doesn’t want to talk to see me. I left everything behind for a 22 year old boy which when I ‘woke up’, i realized I had no feelings for this boy and would not have had anything to do with him normally. I’ve lost everything and now in complete pain over it all.

SSRI - Friend

I’d like to add my story. I too was on an SSRi antidepressant drug. I was on it for about 5 months before I started feeling different. I only seen this after I quit taking the drug. I can’t explain it, it was like I was in a fog and couldn’t think straight but ALWAYS thought what I was doing was right, or ok to do. I had estranged my husband, then started flirting, hard with some guys and eventually, had an affair. Then when I told my husband, he said I told him in the most cold hearted way and showed no remorse for it.

He left me. I am now off the drug for almost a year. I am still having some withdrawel symptoms but I feel much better and now that I’m off, I can realize the damage I’ve done. I don’t blame him for leaving me at all, though I cry so hard at night. He was my best friend. We had been through so much and now I’ve ran him off and I dont’ know if I can ever get him back. He’s seeing someone now and I am sitting here so hearttbroken. These drugs are a serious issue and I’m glad people are taking notice.

SSRI - Katie

I am now off these horrible drugs which do wreck lifes. They dont make u fall out of love but they do blunt ur emotions making u think u have fallen out of love. I have been off these drugs for a few weeks now and it was hell but now am through and looking forward for the future. I want to say thank u for all the comments of here it makes me realise am not the only one, there is hope out there for everyone. The drugs just mask problems and made me feel foggy and worse than before. Now i feel stronger, happier, more out going then ever. My relationship has got stronger and am in love all over again i feel like when we first meet. The advice i would give to people is, if u can find an alternate way to help u please do , get off these drugs and do it slow (bad withdrawls), always be strong and realise what life is all about.

SSRI - Evro

I have just had the most awful day. Since I started the SSRI’s I have totally lost my love feelings for my wife of 22 years. I still don’t believe I don’t love her, it’s just I can’t get any type of feeling good or bad. I sometimes think I am losing my head.

SSRI - Penny

I too had made up my mind and was convinced that my relationship was dead but today, only 4 months after I left my husband of 12 years do I realise what a mess I have made of my life. He was supportive and held my hand through the years but I was feeling my new hi-self esteem. Given by a pill?

Was I wrong or was I wrong? I got used, trashed, abused and dumped by men; had affairs even before I left my husband to not last even 3 weeks. Now I am alone today as I did far more damage than I thought I was capable of, addicted or withdrawn, without emotional support and see myself sitting on a table with other single women, getting hammered drinking myself silly, cursing men and missing the one man who really loved me.

Stay away from these drugs. I feel no love but I miss it so.

Former SSRI user - btd

Mississauga, Canada

If she stays off the drugs she will heal in spite of herself and in spite of admitting the drugs had any part in her choices. I would not be surprised to see this early on but she may take a look once she is down the road some and see it differently. For some reason people are strongly resistant to thinking a drug could affect them so strongly. Nobody wants to believe we have been controlled so well by a drug it messes with who we are as human being and our free will which we have been lead to believe is a human right innately out of reach of manipulation. Sadly this is exactly my experience with these drugs. There is some part of me yet that wants to believe it is not possible even tho I know better... I don't want it to be true. Even tho the evidence it clear in illegal as well as legal drugs we all resist it. Those of us changed the most even seem to resist the idea the most. Sadly even when we crash and burn we want to still believe it was our own doing. Pride? Sense of self? I can't quite figure out what the bases of the resistance is but I do know it is strong... almost life or death. Ego maybe tho I don't understand the term that well. At the end of the day it is a big hurdle to get beyond but once it is crossed there is a new respect for everything human.... for the parts of us that are suppose to be sacred ground but aren't. A new fear too of where we are headed as a species. Some have known this for eons the ones that pull the string the rest of us have never been to the table on this issue as we were basically unaware not affected in huge numbers(illegal drug addicts were a minority but that is changing now)... now that these legal variety of this type of drugs is playing such a huge roll in the development of our world.

I wonder how long it will take for this issue to come to the table of the general population. The 2004 hearing attempted to address some of these issues the suicide in kids from these drugs... that was 30 years after the fact of knowing about it... so maybe in another 30 years this issue will come to the table and be up for discussion.

In one of the books I read Breggin Healy not sure which they talked about the 30 year timeline of a drug being on the market for the truth to become known. It is called after market research. Docotors are paid to put people on these drugs and report back.. and no they don't tell you they are doing this and making extra money of the report they make.

But when a drug changes your consciousness to the level these ones do that your unaware of a change... or an effect... how long does that take to get to the light of day... when the actual people taking the drug are unaware of the effect? Could it be never?

I think it possible for this effect to never get to the light of day and the very sad thing is that condemns How many other people to go thru this. NOW THAT BOTHERS ME. Yet I have no real power to do much about it.

When the effect of the drug can go unknown like this and the people taking the drug are resistant to the facts ... healing is so long... if ever... is it possible.. this could go on forever? With the folks like your seeing the difference more than the ones taking the drug is this the avenue that must play a part to bring this to light? maybe the only way

CELEXA / Citalopram - wtf

Salmon Arm, Canada

I finished reading all 125 pages of this forum yesterday. I'm stunned. There is some very powerful stuff in here.

I decided to post my tale because I think there is value in hearing what other people have been through, and I would be neglecting my responsibility to the rest of the 'lurkers' if I stayed silent.

My story (very typical I think):

2010 - 2011 bad year, high drama, won't get into details.

Prescribed Celexa 20mg in August 2010.

Everything seemed "better" for the first few months, but life still came at us with more bullshit, so.... you guessed it --> Affair in January 2011. Inability to "feel" although knew it was "wrong". Can't explain why. Seems hard to picture it was "me" when looking back.

Relationship was AWESOME we were sickening with the love we slathered on each other, that is up to the introduction of the stressful bits in 2010.

Anyway, I hate to ask the question, especially after providing so few "real" details (and pretty-much knowing what the vehement response will be), but here goes.... How do I KNOW that it was the meds and not just a "response" to the shit in our lives?

Also - to all the other "lurkers" like myself (and I'm pretty sure there are) just reading the forum but you have stories of your own, PLEASE add them to this forum. I know for myself that this forum has been tremendously helpful.


PROZAC - Kind of Confused

San Marcos, TX

So I found this site by typing "prozac ruins relationships" into Google just to see what would pop up. I'm floored. I am 25 and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I have been on prozac for approximately 3-4 months... before prozac I was suffering from panic/anxiety/low-self esteem--i got to the point where I couldn't go into a grocery store without freaking out. My boyfriend has been wonderful to me and actually was the one who encouraged me to seek help. I still love him very much but I got a job this summer in Washington (I live in Texas) and I just got done telling him that I need to find myself, be alone, travel the world. I feel like I have the confidence to finally just be me and learn more about life. Before medicine I was obsessed with death and I now feel that maybe that is because I wasn't living--was just afraid all the time. I like the feeling of not being afraid and excited to live again--that's nice, but I don't want to ruin a loving relationship if it's just a side effect. This site has opened my eyes to the possibility that this may be happening. Luckily for me, my boyfriend says that if I need to go explore he is fine with that. We don't have to break up for me to grow. So, what do you think? I still want to experience life on the drug because it's better, I don't want to make the mistake of losing one of the best people I've ever loved.

EFFEXOR - Daniel

I ‘Ve been off vanlafaxine now for about a month and i feel that the love for my girlfriend is growing stronger by every day. First i didn’t really know if it was love and it scared the HELL out of me. I came by this site and directly i understood what whas going on. i was on 225 mg effexor and i tapered down my dose from 225 to 150 in like 3 days and then tapered down to 75 mg in like 2 days and then finally 0 mg. A little nausea the first days and a great urge for sleep was the initial withdrawalsymptoms. Brainzaps when i looked from side to side, but nothing brutal. I’ve eaten this crap for about a year and it was no match for me to quit. I felt more and more alive each day and that’s the important thing. The government want you to take this kind of meds, because it makes you more or less coldhearted or cold when it comes to love. It’s exactly what they want. I hope that if you read this and you are on ssri/snri today, you’ll atleast try to start tapering your dose tomorrow, and i wish you all the luck i can,,

venlafaxine - Im_guilty

I was on venlafaxine (generic effexor)for about a year. I separated from my husband for reasons I had never thought about before, I was unaware that the medication was changing my thinking on our relationship. I went off with someone I had only known a couple months and I had very crazy behavior and changes that my family and friends recognised but I could not. even when they were shoved in my face. I did a lot of lying about what I was doing which is not my normal behavior. I eventually lost insurance and could no longer see my doctor so I weaned myself off of them (the worst ever)and slowly things became more clear on how I was destroying everything I had spent years building. thank God my husband stood by me and we were able to get past this. I am now scared to be put back on any medication because of things like this even though I need treatment.

Orlando, FL

PROZAC - Cherry1972

It is sad to recognise myself as this hollow and shallow person that I have become. The pills have made me an insensitive human being where I have not even spared my 8 year old niece (who was born in front of me) when I suggested to my sister and her bf to put her up for adoption. I lost my only family that I ever had, after my bf, when they asked me to move out.I live in a cheap downtown flat and she (Karen-my little sis-I love her so) is the only one who has helped me realise the change I have gone thru since Prozac came into my life. I now have a shrink who has a more holistic approach and I refuse to take the pill, coz, I hope to hobble back somehow and become a feeling human being somehow.

PROZAC - jmbw

wow … im so pleased ive found this sight. Ive been on prozac for about six months and wondered what was happening to me. I feel empty – devoid of any feelings or emotions. Hollow and lifeless… I know i love my boyfriend but dont know how to love him anymore. I need to get off this medication before it ruins my relationship completely. I just hope he can understand what’s been happening to me and hope he will read this sight.

PROZAC (Fluoxetine) - sossri

London, UK

These posts have been a massive help to me. I stopped taking Fluoxetine 10 days ago. I have left my partner of 13 years and our children after she caught me having an affair. There were existing issues with the relationship, but nothing that could not be addressed by the two of us. The affair lasted 3 months and I have never done anything like that before. I can’t believe I did that to the love of my life and my children. I have fled my own life and convinced myself that I did not love my partner any more.

I noticed that I couldn’t work out how I felt about my partner, nor the woman I had the affair with, so I stopped taking the anti-depressants. After a couple of days a ‘week of clarity’ happened and I realised that I did love my partner and I wanted to go back to her. The thing is, there was a 2 month delay between leaving her and stopping the medicine. In that time I was so cold with her that I amplified the damage caused by the affair. I have apologized and explained that i think the issue was medication related. She will not take me back (which I expected due to the seriousness of the situation), but she started taking Lustral just before we split up. I fear she is going through the same emotional blunting I experienced...either that or the affair caused so much emotional damage that she just does not love me anymore. At the moment I am keeping my distance and giving her space, but I can’t bear to think that I may lose her, either through my own SSRI influenced actions, or through her own medication. She said that she believes me when i blame the SSRI but I still had an affair and she can’t forgive me. Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

PROZAC - Appearsalome

Ripon, UK

I was on fluoxetine for severe depression and I can relate to all these posts... The only difference being I LIKED the new me. I have always been fairly shy and quiet and on this drug I actually had a personality, a social life and friends. Unfortunately it wasn't so great for my husband and young children, so after the situation hit rock bottom (flirting, emotionless, fearless, loss of interest in family etc) I came off them. 2 years on and I am back to square 1 plus quite agoraphobic and just started sertraline yesterday! But I feel I am in a totally different place than when i first went on AD (about to turn 30) and only want to get better so I can be a better mother to my kids. But after reading all these posts.... I may not take any more :/


Oakley, CA

I just wanted to let you all know that I think this thread just saved my life. I'm 26 and have been in a relationship with a wonderful girl for 4 and a half years. I've been on Effexor for about 2 months to treat major depression disorder (I've been prone to it since I was around 8 or so) when my Prozac pooped out at 60mg. The effects were astonishing, as I was more energetic and less anxious about the possibility of leaving my girlfriend, which sucks in itself, but it always reassured me that I cared enough to the point where it gave me crippling anxiety, and whenever I came out of my spells the relationship was bliss. Now that the Effexor has set in some, not only have I become more apathetic to the activities of my life, I barely feel love for my girlfriend who accepts me for everything I am, depressed and all. I feel sexually apathetic to her (and she's gorgeous) and I've been feeling more sexually compulsive about just about every other woman on the planet, which just isn't me. It shames me. I haven't screwed everything up yet, but inwardly it's been tearing me apart. I think I have my answer now. I'm getting the fuck off Effexor while I still can. I'm going to try and bump up my Prozac to 80mg and maybe it won't work, but I'm taking some other avenue to treat my depression. I want to grow old with this girl, and she's too important to jeopardize. You have no idea how relieved and lucky I feel to have found this thread. My heart goes out to everyone of you that didn't get the proper warning I believe I've just received, and if it's any consolation, your posts likely have saved two lives if you're right. I'll come back and let you know how it turns out.









You are not alone. I was on Prozac for way too long and without the proper supervision of a doctor. I couldn't pinpoint anything negative about the drug so I just kept filling my prescription again and again. Since there seemed to be nothing wrong and the drug was profoundly helping with my depression, there was no reason for me to question or go off it. I thought the drug was great and I even recommended it to other people. The personality changes crept in in a way that made them impossible for me to recognize, especially since this was the first antidepressant I was ever on. Eventually I ended up pushing away the love of my life and I will regret it until the day I die. I just didn't care anymore. I thought our relationship was an unnecessary burden that I could well do without, but I didn't even care enough to initiate a discussion about it. So I just kept dragging him along, making him miserable and confused. I couldn't connect anything I was doing or feeling to the Prozac until it was too late. I felt fine. I knew that all drugs have side effects but I thought my brain was somehow above the drug and could control any negative symptoms while letting me only enjoy the perks. In truth I had completely lost my libido and in some way I think my ability to love romantically and to feel empathy. I couldn't cry at all. I also put on about 35 pounds to my previously slender frame without changing my eating habits. The horrifying thing is, I thought all this was completely normal and this simply was the way I was now. I didn't for one second think it may have been the drug. I didn't bother to think what I was doing to my partner and our previously wonderful relationship. When he finally said he couldn't be with me anymore, after suffering in silence for months on end, I felt nothing. Around the time we broke up I was waking up to realize that something really was not right with me. I weaned myself off the drug. I have no idea how I ultimately managed to conclude that it actually might be the culprit to many of my issues, but I'm grateful I did. When the drug had left my system I plunged into the worst depression of my life. Only then did I start to realize the extent of the drug's effects. And only then did I realize what I had done to our relationship. Perhaps the most horrifying thing is that had someone told me these effects were taking place while I was on the drug, I would have shrugged it off. I think this is precisely why antidepressants can be so destructive to significant relationships. I feel lucky I got out but I'll forever regret letting a drug destroy the best thing I ever had.

EFFEXOR - Charlie

Hutchinson, KS

have not taken Effexor for 36 hrs.....first time in four years

I walked away from a 25 year marriage while under the influence of Effexor....and have been a total nutjob ever since


Tacoma, WA

I took effexor for 2 years after the tragic death of my sister. My doctor put me on 225 mg. I decided that I needed to get off of it. Many things were happening to me. I was having affairs, flirting, doing so many out of character things that I hated myself and yet continued. I love my husband so much and he is the one that helped me get off this drug. I only pray he never learns of my behavior. I will have to live in shame forever. We took 3 months to reduce - by gradually reducing the granuals until there were none. Sometimes when I cried or couldn't get out of bed because of the side effects, he would wait a few days to further reduce it. I left the reducing completely up to him. That way I had no way of being in charge of it and deciding one morning that I would need a little more because I felt so lousy and sick. Anyway, I was different person and I don't like that person and I am me now but with many regrets. I pray everyday for forgiveness.

EFFEXOR - Kaytee

Moncton, Canada

felt very "dulled" under Effexor. It cut off both ends of the emotional spectrum. I wasn't depressed or hopeless as I had been, but I'm seeing now, looking back over 5 years, that I also wasn't over-the-top about anything.

My marital problems developed a few short months after I started taking Effexor. I got very bored and unfulfilled in my marriage, and no longer felt that bond with my husband that I'd felt previously. I couldn't figure out why I just didn't care about "us" anymore.

Several times he'd ask me, "Do you still love me?" and the honest answer was "I don't know what I feel." I really didn't. I couldn't even remember what "love" was.

We made it through and now I'm off this damn drug and hopefully will be for good. I don't want to blame everything on the medication, but all the pieces seem to fall into place when considering it as a major factor.

EFFEXOR - shannon


This happened to me....or my husband I guess. I went off Effexor 5 years ago, dated a man (boy) 12 years my junior, then decided I was going to Denmark! I had 2 little girls who were my world, and yet I still insisted that I was making good choices. To make a long story short, my husband physically took me to my doctor, told him what was going on, and they both basically convinced me to "wait a week". During this week, I went back on my meds, and I can still not believe I actually did those things! My husband knew it was the meds, he swallowed his pride, decided not to take it personally, and we are ok now.

i know it must be very difficult to live with me, so in my more lucid moments, I let him know that his sacrifices have saved me (from myself).

My best advice, which is probably going to be next to impossible to follow, is to not take it personally...most of the time (and I can't speak for everyone, too many variables) it's the disease or the meds.


EFFEXOR - natesdad

Portland, ME

I ruined my life, and did tremendous damage to my now ex-wife and my son. I was a sociopath. I spent myself into six figure debt, dropped out of school and divorced, all to have sex with prostitutes. I can't find any other reason I would do something so horrible and I've hated myself for it. I had no control, no feeling for others-I can't recognize the person I was. I hate the person I was. I stopped taking the effexor long ago, without even realizing it might be the problem, and I've changed, but the damage is done. I have ruined my life. I have hurt the two people closest to me.

I don't know what good it would do, but I've been thinking of a lawsuit. PRoblem is, these companies get free reign, and they've completely destroyed the hippocratic oath. I feel betrayed by my doctors, and now view doctors as no street corner drug peddlers-with protection from the law. How do you fight this?

EFFEXOR still_hope

I took Effexor for 10 years, been off it for almost 2 years. When I started, I was in an abusive relationship, so I was glad when I lost all feelings for the guy. I swore off all relationships, quit my job as a tenured university professor, and worked as a prostitute. When I stopped the Effexor, prostitution repulsed me and I began a relationship with a wonderful, loving man. He stood by me through months of unbelievably horrible withdrawal. I've still got the brain zaps, sleep disturbances, vivid nightmares, bone aches, and fatigue. I'm afraid I have brain damage. I've lost the ability to feel pleasure. Even when I was depressed, before Effexor, I still was able to enjoy music and sex. I finally found a good man, and I have no romantic feelings for him. I was always a passionate person with many interests. All that is gone now. Life hardly seems worth living. I'm just hoping that I'll feel better someday, living in that possiblity. Fortunately, I'm able to work part-time helping others, and that sense of accomplishment helps me get through the day.


Surrey, Canada

Just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have expressed yourselves and shared your horror stories. When my marriage ended 1.5 years ago, I truly belivee my wife (and I) thought I had gone mad. my marriage ended about 1.5 months after the doc pulled me cold turkey off of effexer. I had been on it for about 5 years and tried suicide 3 times during my last year on it. I also said and did many mean things to my wife. I have printed out some of these forum conversations, and mailed them to her. I don't expect her to get back together with me, but hopefully this info. will give her some sort of 'closure" to the "effexor years". I also apologized to her, and explained that we both deserved better than the hell we got. I think she as well was losing her mind near the end. She watched me change into another person....I watched it happen too, though there was nothing I could do about it since my doc. simply kept upping the dose. Once again thank you for sharing your thoughts, hopefully my ex wife will find some sort of peace/closure in the feedback.........good luck to you all.


Houston, TX

Alright: here's my story. I have been married for almost 17 years. I have two great kids. I started taking Effexor January 2006 for anxiety. In December 2006, I started an affair that I just can't seem to shake. I feel like I am in love with this guy, and not my husband. I have said/felt/done all of the things I am reading that you or your spouses have said/felt/done. F__k! I felt like I lost my love for my husband, that I was never attracted to him, that I was never in the mood for sex. But really, it is just since 2006. He is a good man, but he is changing because I am changing. He is angrier, sadder, and wants to control everything. Can you blame him?

I am going to a healer today. Anyone have any information on getting their loving feelings back and making it work? I want to make this work. Thank you everyone for helping me see this pattern. I have been so down on myself for my selfish, shitty, dishonest behavior. And I have been on the brink of walking away from the only positive relationship I have ever had. Help!

EFFEXOR  - selphaba

Sydney, Australia

The same thing has happened to me. I was on Efexor years ago, when I was married. After a while, I started despising my husband and thinking he was a complete burden. I started hanging out with a new crowd, and eventually had an affair with one of them, and ended my marriage. I walked out of the marriage without a care in the world towards my husband.

After a year or so, I got of the efexor, built my life up again, had a baby and am getting re-married this year.

I have just started taking efexor again, because I started getting very depressed again. I am terrified the same cycle is going to repeat itself. I love my husband and son so much, I don't want efexor to tear us apart!!

EFFEXOR - Shawneen

Abbotsford, Canada

Hi Roy,

I experienced the exact same thing when I started taking effexor.I started taking it and within approximately 2 weeks of starting it I started having an affair with my boss,abruptly told my husband I wanted a divorce and we were separated within a month of me starting that medication.People who knew me well were surprised at the impulsivity I displayed with regard to leaving my marriage so quickly and abruptly.My marriage was not perfect as far as we had our little spats here and there like every married couple but nothing that would warrant an affair or divorce.I was always against affairs and such before that,never even coming close to anything like that and all of a sudden these things just happened literally overnight and were completely justified in my mind at the time.As odd as it may sound,I had no idea at the time I was actually acting any differently because of the effexor,no clue.People would ask me how I was able to leave my marriage so easily and my answer was just basically a simple,it's just not working......It has absolutely devasted my life.That was almost five years ago now and although divorced,I am absolutely in love with my ex husband still but unfortunately he has lost the love for me because I hurt him so bad,understandably so.He has moved on with his life and I am left sitting here going,Oh My God,these pills absolutely ruined my life.I am seriously considering going to a lawyer.Do you have a class action suit going?

Oh my goodness,I can't believe I found this site.So many of these stories sound exactly like mine.Same situation.My husband and daughter who was 8 at the time,both of them I would have done anything for,were both sitting on the couch together with the family dog,crying and begging me not to break the family up and distinctly remember feeling unmoved by thier sobs and not even willing to rethink anything because in my mind,I was doing the absolutely right thing.

EFFEXOR - Confused

Daventry, UK

Hi all

I was on 150mg for 2 years. I had all the syptoms described - no libido, no emotions for my husband, no sense of danger (couldn't care), paranoid, basically I felt numb and just got through the day. My problems really started when I started reducing the medication, I became volatile, aggressive, easily offended and an edranalin junky (took up dangerous sports). Emotionally I really didn't give a damn, I wanted to leave my husband many times and couldn't see the hurt I was causing. I decided to come off drugs completely and after 3 weeks of withdrawl - shakes, sweats, pains etc I came through it. Now 6 months on and emotionally I'm still numb, still have no libido and still have no "love". I want my life back and the only way I see that happening is to leave my present life and start again. I don't know if it's still the drug having affect or if this is how I truly feel. I can't trust my head and my heart is numb. My advice to anyone considering or new to this drug is stay clear, it will screw you up more than anything life throws at you!


This is without a doubt true for me. I actually feel the affect of “losing” my love for my GF after only 1 day of taking Zoloft.

I’ve been off and on it many times and the effect is always the same. Almost immediately from the time I start Zoloft, I stop feeling love for my GF.

It’s some sort of cosmic joke, that SSRI’s help so many in so many ways but take away love and sex. Really one of the biggest catch-22′s of all time.

ZOLOFT - Valery

I got engaged three months ago. My bf and I have been together for 4 years now, but at the beginning of last year I got very depressed and started taking sertraline with a 50mg dose. On December last year many important things in my life fell apart, I guess you could call it bad luck when they all happened at the same time, except for my feelings for him. He was one of the few things that kept me together. Still, I tried to sleep forever one night when he was away. After waking up in a hospital, I went to a new psychiatrist and he gave me a higher dose of sertraline, 150mg. The depression went away, but that’s not the only thing that disappeared. I have to start planning a wedding, still I find myself wondering if I should do that at all.

Analyzing myself, I found I am not in love with my fiancé anymore. And I remember how much I used to love him, how enchanted I felt, and how I thought he was the best thing that could ever happen to me. But I don’t feel that anymore. I don’t feel anything anymore. I just feel irritated. I have no libido whatsoever, and I would really like to live on my own now, when for the first time, I’m sharing a home with my couple. I suspected this could come from the sertraline, but I must say that knowing that doesn’t help.

Even if it is an illusion, I don’t feel in love with the person I’m living with, and I don’t want to live with him. This is a problem in many ways, it could really ruin the opportunity of marrying the person I could actually love. When I fell so much in love I decided to cross the ocean and live in his country with him. I don’t even speak the language and flying back isn’t so simple since I came here with not only my stuff but three cats as well. I wish I could find a way to deal with this.

Stopping the medication isn’t an option since my depression is real. I guess talking to him about this is the only thing I can do for now.

ZOLOFT - Michael

ive been on zoloft for almost 2 months.. ive felt every symptom listed and more. ive experienced intrusive thoughts, anxiety, more depression and only recently cant help but think that i dont love my girlfriend of 3 years anymore. when im sitting around doing nothing.. or if i just wake up i constanly think about it.. having fighting conversations in my head convinsing my self that its not true and its just the zoloft making me feel this way. because my relationship with her is more important than anything if symptoms do get worse i will ask my doctor to prescribe me something to increase dopamine or an alternative. if he suggests that isnt a good idea i will decrease the dose and try to get of anti-depressants. and try st johns wort.. ive read side effects are very minimal compared to normal SSRI’s. ive found if i start to worry about these thoughts of “am i becoming less interested in her” ill stop what im doing and go do something to take my mind off the situation.. if symptoms get very bad i will call her. i feel like hearing her voice helps alot. i explain to her im not feeling well and zoloft is giving me some side effects, she always makes me feel better.

EFFEXOR - Glen Lay

Orlando, FL




EFFEXOR - comeback kid

St. John's, Canada

My dear friend I have so much to tell you. Just sitting here at the keyboard brings tears to my eyes. I am not going to tell you my whole story right now but I promise I will. First of all I am Ann's husband. I have accomplished what you have hoped for, I am Effexor free, and I owe alot to you and this forum. Please don't give up, what you have done here has saved my life and a marriage most people dream of. I have a long story to tell that I'm sure will help and inspire everyone in this forum. I promise to make my story known tonight or by weeks end. Hang in there everyone there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

comeback kid

St. John's, Canada


Well I guess I'll start my story from the begining. I'm going to do this in two parts as I posted my story a couple months ago but for some reason it didn't take. First I little back ground on me. I am 43 years old and a very calm, loving, careing person. I have always been very grounded. I am a veteran firefighter of about 14 years, up until two years ago I didn't know what depression felt like. It was september of 2007, I had just came back from an extrem sport competition in which I placed ninth in all of Canada, I was hopeing for the top 20. So with this incredible success I was on the high of my life. I returned home with the mind set of taking a long deserved break from the intense training and that's exactly what I did. "This was a huge mistake", i'll explain later. I slowly slipped deeper and deeper into depression. I could't deal with it on my own so I went to my doctor, the nightmare has now begun. My doctor prescribed effexor, 37.5 at first. I felt ok, it seemed like I could handle just about anything, no drama. After so long on this dosage I returned to my doctor for a check up. He felt it would be best to up my meds to 75's. I didn't know it at the time but things were about to take a very dark turn for me and more so for my best friend, my loving wife.


After taking the 75's for a while I began to change. I didn't know it at the time. It's only now looking back that I see it. I became extremely desencitized to everything and everyone, especially my wife who I love more that life itself. I began haveing an affair with a girl at the gym. It wasn't long before my wife, Anne, found out. I promised her I would end end it but I didn't. I made her that same promise on three if not four times. I tourchered her over and over again. She stood by me when I know most wouldn't have. You have to understand Anne and I had and still have a relationship that all of our friends envy, we are that close, "best friends." Anyway she is a smart lady and she knew there was something very wrong with me. I was so screwed up, I am reluctant to tell you this but I feel someone may benefit from it.


There was one occasion I must share with you. Anne was helping for train for an up coming competition. We were on top of a tower no one around for miles. I asked her to help me with something that entailed her getting closeto the edge. She was so afraid, i'll never forget the look on her face as long as I live. She refused to help or come close to me while near the edge. I don't know what I would have done if she did. I like to tell myself that I wouldn't have done anything but when it comes right down to it I just don't know. This is the lady of my dreams, my soul mate, how could I even think such terrible thoughts. One word, "EFFEXOR." Through all the drama, and I have only told you a small portion, we figured out that it must be the effexor turning me phsyco. I recall another time I was in my garage when Anne came out to end our marriage. I cried like a baby and when she left I laughed uncontrollably. So when I say I was phsyco I mean just that


Well I went back to my doctor and told him I was having some bad "side effects". He put me back on the 37.5's. I came back to myself somewhat. Over the next year and so many months we worked on our marriage and relationship. It had it's up and lots of downs and doubts. But you know what we were getting there. But I felt that I wasn't totally back to my old self. On July 6 of this year I dropped effexor cold turkey. I had withdrawl something feirce and if it wasn't for this forum and riptide63 I would never have know what was happening to me. I most likely would have ended up takeing the effexor again thinking I needed it. But once I found out the withdrawl would pass I was determined more than ever to beat it. I am clean now and have been ever since. Anne and I are just as close, if not closer, as we ever were. She truely is an angel and I love her so mach. I thank God every single day for bringing her into my life. We are going on a cruise in July 2010 on our anniversary at which time we will renew our wedding vows. A happy ending to what is the worst experience of my life and I am so grateful. To all of you who are thinking about throwing in the towel, DON'T. Remember this, while on effexor your loved one is not your loved one. He or she is possesed by a demon who's name is effexor. What is done on this drug can not be controled by them. Give it a second chance and I guarentee you will be happy again. It's no fairy tale, the hurt will still be there, but as each new day passes it will get easier. And yes I hurt to, I have to live with the memories of the pain I caused the most precesious person in my life. I am here to help, i'll be listening.....comeback kid

comeback kid

St. John's, Canada

I completly agree with everything you have said. When I look back it seems like a bad nightmare. My life then could make a good hollywood drama. The only saveing grace I had was my wife. She was relentless in the fight to get me back. I am so thankful she stuck in there and helped me come back from the worse experience of my life. It blows me away everytime I think about it because I tourchered her to the depths that most could not endure. I am effexor free and have been since June 6th of this year. I am not taking any form of antidepressant. I supplement and diet which works for me. I am happy again unlike before where I just exsisted. My wife and I still deal with the hurt I caused on a daily basis but we are going to make it. Why? Because we both know effexor was the devil that possesed me. I am back to my loving, careing, true self. I have come to see that I'm lucky, lucky because the majority of effexor users don't recover from the devestation this "shit" has caused. The only reason I am still drawn to this forum is due to the desire to help other couples to overcome their tragic experienses. The most important thing for everyone to remember is while on effexor,"you, in your normal state of mind, would not have done these terrible things." Effexor, "the devil" did it. Focus on this and it will help, it helped us.

EFFEXOR  - Shaken

Port Isabel, TX

I have been off effexor for almost a year now. I have experienced the depths of hell, and it's destruction. I left my husband of 30 years, had numerous affairs, delved into sexual deviations... Did thinks I would have never have believed I would do. I was driven, it was as an addiction. I could see and knew what I was doing, but did not care. All that I knew is what I wanted, and the feeling that it gave me. I can only relate it to what I imagine is what someone experiences that is addicted to heroin. It took a year, yes a year, for me to be completely free from the urges and drives. I feel like I have my mind back. I can cry, and I cannot remember the last time I have been able to that. And yes I would say that I am depressed, but would much rather be in this state, than the place that I have been. All the muscle aches and pains are back, but I will take that too, to be in my right mind. I am in the process of trying to be restored to my family.

As a side note: My mother also took effexor and became hooked on gambling. She also expressed to me that she was "driven".

I have seen many success stories with antidepressants, but am now convinced that they should not be prescribed without on going psychiatric counsel, so that these extremes can be caught before they become a living nightmare.

On my way back!!!! There is hope!

ZOLOFT/EFFEXOR - Annette Jones

Gaffney, SC

I took effexor for 7 months for depression. I went to the doctor because the zoloft was killing my sex life and I wanted life with my husband to be normal and loving. Life began to change about two months after taking the medication, sadly though I didn't recognize the changes. I too wanted a divorce, said that I never loved my husband and only wanted to party and live the life I never had the chance to live before. My first love came back into my life, right at the wrong time, and because all my filters and inhibitions were shut down I went off the deep end for this man. I was ready to walk away from my home and husband and begged this man to leave his wife too. I hate that this is how he knows me after 25 years of being out of touch. I finally was able to recognize the trouble thanks to my husband and this website and went cold turkey off the meds. However, I know I am not the same person. I feel as though I am forever changed. I worry that my personality will never be the same as it was before the effexor. It is so sad that I, a former Sunday School teacher, became what I did. Getting of the medication has been another terrible experience. For those of you going through this, go to an alternative meds specialist. They saved my life within a matter of moments. I thought I was in the middle of death and I truly walked out of the office a nearly whole person. For those spouses who have suffered because of this medication, I am so sorry. We didn't mean it and we don't want to hurt you.

EFFEXOR - sabana

Montegnée, Belgium

Hi all,

I saw that this thread ended some time ago but this was the only source I found so far for the same problem.

I have a so loving and caring boyfriend, everyone else would have left me with all my problems in life and family. Not him, he always stayed with me and in my darkest moments (which were each time worse I stopped effexor). But without a helping therapist in a foreign country I saw no other choice than taking again effexor even though I hated it because I realized changes in my behavior and personality. He did actually meet me just when another depression episode started and I had stopped taking it for several months. Then a few months in our relationship and living together I had alcohol cravings, drunk but couldn't cope with it and after a few glasses (or as little as 1) couldn't stop anymore. I then called him selfish, stupid and said that anything is better than with him. I continued like this even though he helped me over my worse time and got me a job. I still didn't learn and like this it went on and off for a long time with him always coming back to me. I didn't get my alcohol problem solved and always when feeling sad starting to drink. When having another 'fight' I went to a party form work and after some glasses and no more ability to control myself starting kissing a colleague in his office. This was such a devastating experience for me and I will hate myself for this forever! Each time on effexor I think I am better off without him and that he is no good for me anyway. I have plans for my life which I never am able to realize until I stop effexor again and see how much he means to me and how much I love him. I was searching for personal changes in behavior or anything but could only find one post about it. I don't want to have only the choice of being sad with him or feeling wrongly! great without him until I realize all this is not true. I have several other side effects and find this strong stuff should have never been prescribed for me but all I hear from doctors then is 'something which helped against depression once should be continued and not changed'. My life never advanced while on effexor, only got stuck and I took extremely stupid decisions for my life. I just seperated again from him before Christmas and even took my own apartment just to realize now off effexor again that I want nothing more than staying with him and can't cancel the apartment for 3! years. Another time I agreed on paying my mother's rent entirely (and still do it today) and cancelled a great job offer I had 1 week before departure. So that should help a depressed person? I really hope someone will find this thread again and continue, I feel so lost. I live in Europe and the choice of docs here in this small country is very limited. There must be other ways helping a person out of bed in the morning than chemical substances which were only tried on rats and change your brain's chemical make up completely...

I have always been more or less depressed in my life since teenage years but don't remember things like that...

EFFEXOR - anonymous

Yes I had this too and only after being off for a few years I realised the full picture! I went on them when I was about 6 months into a relationship and IN LOVE. A month or so into taking them my depression lifted but the in-love feeling seemed to just vanis! Along with all my other emotions actually. I felt like a cold heartless person and I didn’t know why! All my emotions felt watered down. It was very strange. Even after going off the pills it took a fair amount of time to find the warm loving emotions I had started with my boyfriend at the time (now husband  ). I searched for info on lack of emotions whilst on Effexor 75mg so I didn’t feel so crazy and alone. It didn’t say anything about being emotionless in the Effexor guide!! Hopefully my response helps others too.

EFFEXOR - whathaveidone

Cincinnati, OH

This is so true. I became a different person on Effexor and alienated my family as a result. I am finally starting to mend fences with them but its been three years since I went off the medication. Im not saying I was happy in my marriage and may have left with or without the Effexor playing a part but I do believe the Effexor made me emotionless, careless and very impulsive. Im so glad to be off of that crap..never again.

EFFLEXOR - chanda

United States

I've read a few comments on this site about inabilty to feel or have a relationship that lasts, a cold inability to emphathize. I've wasted 10yrs on effexor convinced all that time that I was cured, my psychiatrist patting herself on the back for her brilliant work. Never thought the excess drinking and having an affair on my husband (and eventual divorce)within a month of taking it would have anything to do with the drug. Had been with my husband for 9years before that. All destroyed within a month. I quit cold about 2 weeks ago and still feeling the typical effects, first the morning cry, than the vomiting, than the rage and after working out, finlly peace and gratitude for feeling good. Than the crying and sadness again at night. That is all abating. No more craving for booze which is surprising and deserved a site all to itself, I was virtually an alcoholic and liked it, right, no hangovers. I have faith the bad parts will pass as this drug leaves my system, but i"m discoving how alone I really am. Not sure what to do about that.

Anyway, physically what is helping is definately the exercize when i'm not to angry to do it, lots of omega fish oil pills.

I just had to vent. If I told my ex husband or any of my ex's, that it wasn't the real me before, I know they wont believe

me. Glad this site is here. sorry about the bad spelling.

PAXIL/EFFEXOR - Picking up the Pieces

Latrobe, PA

I have read a lot of your stories and decided to add mine as well. I suffered from depression and later anxiety since high school. After the birth of my 2nd son, it reached an all time low. When he was about 15 mos old, my doctor tried me on Paxil, Paxil CR, and others due to insurance problems. Finally, I started seeing a therapist when he was 3, and he put me on Effexor XR. At first, as with most everyone, it was amazing. I felt great...better than I had in years! I even recommended it to my friends! But within 9 months, my family noticed that my attitude and personality had been changing...ALOT. I became very selfish and assertive, not in a good way. I started working for a friend and it was great. Too great. Within a couple of months we had an affair. Now let me stop right there for a moment and tell you I came from a very religious background for one thing and always felt very very strongly against anything morally wrong. And I loved my husband for the 11 years we were married at that point. He was the most amazing man I knew, loving, patient, helpful, and the best father ever. But there I was hating him, putting him down, cheating on him. This was so opposite of who I was. That man was also on the meds and his wife had said this was a side to speak. I thought she was crazy, so did my therapist. So I was on it for another 3 months. The relationship with that man ended, and I stayed with my husband. I finally decided to go off the meds and it was awful. If not for my kids, I would not be alive. Fast forward 18 months, I couldn't take it anymore. Work and everything was getting to me so I went back to my therapist. They put me on Zoloft but it made me sick. He said he saw me at my best on Effexor so I tried again. In 6 months, I was back at it again, my 2nd affair with the same man. Only this time, no matter how much my husband tried, I was determined to divorce him after 13 years, even to the mental distress of my 2 kids! In between the 2 tries of meds, we had no real problems, so this was really a shock to him. The following summer, I finally saw the light. The relationship was a lie. I missed my family so badly. And I realized that I only thought I was happy on the Effexor. It changed me completely. I was not the loving, caring, help you if I can person I always was... I was a lying, cheating, selfish, you know what! I abandoned my family, my values, everything. I have been off of the Effexor for a year now. I am truly happy for the 1st time in a long time. I have gone a different route for therapy: I talk about all of my feelings with my family, no matter how bad. I am fortunate that my ex husband is the amazing man he is and sees that it wasn't the real me that did all of those horrible things...although I still take responsibility for them. We are now trying to work on a fresh relationship, rebuilding our family on truth, trust and knowledge. And I know that it was the Effexor that changed me and will NEVER take AD's again! In fact, I now make it clear to all of my friends that they need to be very careful about the meds they are considering.

SSRI - Dina

Bartlett, IL

Sounds very similar to my story. I began taking antidrepressants about five years ago, and I believe they have completely destroyed my life. As soon as the meds kicked in I began getting intense cravings for alcohol. This led to excessive drinking. While drinking I would just be a wild woman in a bar flashing my boobs, hitting on men, etc. I would black out during these times and wake up completely humiliated and confused. My husband would try to drag me out of the bars and I refused. I should have mentioned that I am also a mother of 2, so this behavior was completely out of character for me. I would tell the doctor about how I was having cravings for alcohol and that I was acting all wild and he just laughed it off. So I would get off the meds and try a new one, but I still was faced with the same problem. Things just kept getting worse to the point of getting involved in an affair and pending divorce. I truly believe as well as my husband that these meds have completely changed my personality and behavior because i never would have done these things. I think people need to know the risks of taking these drugs because it ruins lives.


This is Dina's husband. I want to add more to her story. Dina and I have been married 16 years and currently seperated. She has gotten involved in an affair and currently moved out of state leaving me a single father of 2 boys 12 & 14. She is basicly emotionless and heartless. She has come back home several, several,(like 10 times) saying she wants to fix our family and marrige only to leave time and time again after 3 or 4 days. Her adulterous partner is persistant and pressures her to stay with him and leave her family. He texts and taunts me saying horrible disrespectful things and he's pushing buttons to get me to react in ways to get me in trouble with the law. That way I'm out of the picture and no longer a problem to their affair. Our marrige of 16 years and relationship of 20 years was picture perfect until the problems of her antidepressants. Our home was filled with love and joy and our children experienced wonderful vacations and great day to day memories. She and I hardley ever argued, enjoyed eachothers company, and loved taking our children places. Once she started taking these SSRI's her behavior drastically changed. She no longer was satisfied or content with our lives. She would isolate herself upstairs on the computer listening to music and sitting on Facebook. This is where she connected with her adulterous partner. She began going out to bars often and not coming home. Spending nights in motels with her lover, constant lies and deception. She has been off of her antidepressants for 4 or 5 months and is currently on some sort of bipolar medication. She tells me that iI have been a wonderful husband, father, friend and partner. She realises that she has made horrible decisions and wishes she could turn back time. She tells me she does not want the divorce. Yet she wont stop her relationship with the other man. I try to talk to her and it seems she hears me but nothing gets through. She agree's with me but she cant stop her behavior. I think I've lost the woman I married. I feel she will never be the same. I think her personality has changed forever. I dearly love my wife and this is ruining me. I feel she wont ever get well. I dont know who this person

is anymore. My children are devistated and confused why their mom dosnt want our once happy family anymore.

PAXIL - LessofaWife

I have been off Paxil for about 6 months now after tapering off gradually (was on 20mg for about 14 months/terrible withdrawal). Since the near-end of my tapering, my marriage seems to have fallen apart, by my own doing.

I no longer feel "in love" with my husband of 8+ years, who loves me more than life itself. He does so much for me and yet I have been wanting to leave him, feel nothing for him most of the time and have been asking for a divorce.

I have felt like I'm depressed again...anger, rage, tired, want to be alone all the time etc but do not want to admit it, as there's no way I'm going back on Paxil. Is it possible I'm still having withdrawal after all this time?

Is this me that's fallen out of love with my husband or the Paxil?

PAXIL - Happened to Me2

Anniston, AL

Stumbled across this while searching for information for my students on the multiple side effects of SSRI/SNSI...and was STUNNED! I started Paxil at 20 mg. in 2002 (as I remember...). Had been married 29 years, 3 grown kids in college, everything great...and then responded to another professor who was flirtatious and, completely out of character for me, reacted to him and began having a horrendous affair! I had never (and still have not)been with another man besides my husband...and was wierd to me as it was happening, as if I was outside myself somehow horrified as it WAS happening and not sure why at all...When I placed on Paxil iniitially at 20 mgs. by a family practitioner--my husband was with me, having taken me as I was in a hysterical crying spell from work/Ph.D. pursuance stressors...the M.D. laughing told us both how well it worked as he had "another 2 ol' guys come into his office requesting the same meds that M.D. had given their friend WHO RAN OFF FROM HIS WIFE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!" My husband and I just looked at each other and talked about how wierdly inappropriate M.D.'s comments were...I always thought maybe it was just stress, the M.D.s power of suggestion, maybe confronting some kind of dissatisfaction with my marriage all those years afterall...until I left my 20+ job at my university and moved to where my now 3 graduated kids were located; got another job; was hysterical again and depressed...still on 30 mgs...when a good friend--psychiatric nurse practitioner--told me about PLATEAUING on SSRIs...That's when I began to research about SSRIs and behavioral changes. So, for the last 5 years I have been convinced that my behavioral change...which no one saw as such...and M.D. did not recommend counseling or regular follow-up with him (I NEVER went back to him...staying on same dose 3 years just by calling his nurse for refills...). I collected and still add to my collection of research articles on the effects of SSRI/SNRI BESIDES suicidal behavior...and wish so much I had the very first drug information that comes w/prescription when I was first on it...because I am CERTAIN it did not include the wording that is now there about side effects: "...and behavioral changes." I have been validated by this accidental discovery of others who have had this impact of "behavioral change", which I ALWAYS have considered my entirely unanticipated divorce to be a manifestation of--so, yes...I am now relieved to discover others who have had this same horrible "side effect".


Red Deer, Canada

I was on Effexor for about 7 years. I went off it in August and have not been the same since. I am having memories come back that I totally forgot about. I am remembering things that I have done and totally regret. When I was on the effexor it was like I had no conscience, no inhibitions, was making decisions without even thinking about any consequences. The last 3 months have been the most anxious of my life. Never mind the depression, the anxiety about ending my marriage and throwing everything away that I had been building with my family for the last 20 years trumps everything. I truly cannot believe that this drug was able to do this to my brain. It is like I was in a fog for years. Did it halp the deperession, sure, but it also made me unable to think clearly about anything. My decision making was compromised to a high extent. 3 years ago I became addicted to gambling and I decided the only way out of feeling unworthy was to leave my husband and 3 kids. WOW!!!! When I think about it now,,,,,it makes me physically sick to my stomach. I kicked the gambling and kicked the effexor, but my marriage is in the final stages of divorce. I was willing to throw my life away as a wife, mother, friend when I was on this drug. Please, please, please,,,listen to me,,,,stop taking this drug and search for alternative measures to help with depression. Yes, the withdrawal is awful,,,find a friend who can be there for you while you taper off of it. Consult your doctor for help to get off of it. I am

praying for all of you who are still on this drug and hope you can find a different way to help the with the deperession.


Las Vegas, NV

Count me in as another whose marriage was ruined by this drug. I started on Effexor one year ago for anxiety, and I am now divorced. I'm afraid my story is all too similar to the others I've read here.

Several weeks after I started on Effexor, I began out-of-control shopping. I was a super frugal person who had obsessively kept a budget (down to the cent), and here I was spending literally thousands on online clothing orders, without a second thought.

About a week after I began the uncharacteristic shopping, my husband went on a job interview in another state. While he was gone, I called a mutual friend, and went to the bar with him. That night we had an affair.

Mind you, I hadn't ever even thought about cheating before. I was a loving, dedicated wife who was in it for the long haul. I was absolutely out of my mind, literally. Something came over me that I cannot begin to describe, but it was as if I was living in a parallel world where there were no real-life consequences. The drivers license I showed the bartender may have read my name, but *I* was not there that night.

The next day I called my husband and told him what had happened, and I WASN'T EVEN CRYING. It was as nonchalant as if I was calling him to tell him I had broke his computer or something. I literally had just thrown away my marriage, and I wasn't shedding a tear. I got off the phone and fixed myself some lunch, and turned on the TV as if it was any other day.

Obviously distraught and crushed (and very, very confused), my husband demanded a divorce, as he had no tolerance for cheating, and I didn't blame him. Our friends and family were shocked. "But we had no idea anything was even wrong," they told me. Well, NEITHER DID I. I spent weeks trying to figure out how to explain to people what to explain my behavior to my husband, how to explain the divorce to my mother, but I was at an absolute loss.

Here I am now, a year later, with a divorce decree in hand. I have since stopped that evil medicine, but the damage is done. The most painful part is having no explanation for your feelings, and knowing in your heart that you never, ever would have done that.

EFFEXOR - Cozza 2020

London, UK

To the Effexorcist,

Thanks for the laugh. I needed a morning smile. I have been effexor free for 7 days now and am still feeling the effects. I have to tell you all that after I have spent time on this site and read all your posts it helps me a bunch. I am trying right now to rebuild a marriage that I destroyed by having an affair. When I began acting inappropriately and then had the affair I believed I no longer loved my husband. I really no longer cared about anyone in my life that was important. I spent more time being nice and helpful to the people outside of my home and that isn't me. I didn't at the time realize what was going on, but now after being off of it and being able to go back and look at my behaviors and my feelings I know that the effexor was the contributing factor to how I felt or should I say didn't feel. I was devoid of emotion. This drug is evil and it definately changed my life forever. I am not one that blames other people, or things or circumstances in my childhood for my behaviors as a 42 year old woman, but I do have to say that I definately believe I would never have had the affair and destroyed my life had it not been for the effexor. I hate this crap it should be removed from the market and it should certainly be prescribed with a lot more caution. How do I rebuild a marriage and get my husband to believe that the person who cheated on him is not the person he married and spent 15 years with?

I cant believe this !!!!

After nursing my mom to the end of her life with Cancer, having a baby, having my husband diagnosed with diabetes and coping with a stressfull job (all happened in 12 months), I was prescribed Citalopram Oct 2008

I suppose it did its job I let things go over my head more stopped reacting to everything to the point where 18 months on I stopped reacting to anything. I truly believed in my heart that my husband hated me, I have to say my mindset was confirmed by his diabetic rages (he was in denial and still has a problem with it. I couldnt communicate with him at all. I couldn't tell when he was joking or serious. I put all this down to his diabetes being uncontrolled. Everything you say mirrors my experience. I hated my husband I felt like he took me for granted I wasn't affectionate with him. Then embarked on an affair with an old boyfriend who did my head in when we dated 13 years before???????(ive been married for 12). It lasted 6 weeks only met him in person 3 times and only the last time did anything happen. My husband found out and I remember him screaming "I effing love you" I can genuinly say I was shocked the news was a shock. Well he has left and I came off the tablets. My personality is slowly returning. I see a councillor and I described it to her as it feels I am waking up after drink driving to find myself surrounded by a car crash and im sobering up as I look at the devestation. My husband still loves me but cant get over the affair and I am gutted. I know it sounds selfish but after all ive been through including taking mind altering drugs I don't think I can forgive him for not forgiving me. I have been off meds now for 3 weeks and still have the tremours. I wouldnt touch that stuff again ever. My life is a mess and my children are the only reason im still here.

Please can someone with a similar experience get in touch with me through this forum. I need to speak to someone who has been through this hell xxxx

SSRI - CantSeeTheLight

Jackson, MS

Just want to validate this topic. I was put on an SSRI for anxiety when my granny was diagnosed with cancer. I was put on this medication by my Ob/Gyn!!! I felt awesome in about 2 months and was on top of the world. No one could tell me I was wrong about anything, especially my husband. Then I ran into an old boyfriend and he and I discovered we were both on the same drug. We connected emotionally and physically in an instant. NO GUILT AT ALL. We both decided we could no longer stand our spouses. We would endure (with each other on the side) for the children involved. I HATED my husband. He kept telling me it was the pills. How could it have been the pills when they were making me feel amazing - hypersexual as well. All I wanted was SEX SEX SEX and more sex. One constant - I never stopped praying. I prayed for guidance in continuing or not continuing these pills. Then I stumbled accross the few sites on the internet that cover this topic and realized my husband had been right all along. Of course I didn't fully realize until I came clean. Literally a "junkie" coming down from a 10 month binge causing nearly life ruining mistakes. By the grace of God, my marriage is still intact. By the grace of God, I had the sense to get off of that mind altering drug. Later, my whole family (not some - my WHOLE family) told me that over the past 10 months I had turned into a completely self centered zombie and they didn't know how to confront me. I want to add my story hoping if anyone is in doubt or needs to be validated in what they may have experienced my situation might help them.

It was a living hell, and living with the mistakes I have made is extremely humiliating at times. But at least I know it is the past and I have learned - don't take lightly anything that will alter your mind.

Venlafaxine  - English Rose

Doncaster, UK

Hi All

I found this forum because I was looking for it. I am 27 and have been on every kind of SSRI on the market since age 14. I think my longest break has been about 18 months.

I started Venlafaxine about a month ago after switching from Sertraline because of the side affects. It's my first SNRI.

Already I feel like I no longer want to be with the love of my life, the man that I called my 'soulmate' the first month we met. I feel nothing. I don't laugh or cry. I told him yesterday that I don't think things are working and that we need a break.

The drastic change in my feelings has left me very confused. Not as confused as him though! I've told him that I don't think we are compatible and that we don't have anything in common. To be honest I don't fully remember what I said to him.

I now don't know what to do. I feel heartless. I don't want to come off the meds or switch, again. I also don't want to lose my boyfriend.

English Rose

EFFEXOR - Fighting Back


My crisis started 2 weeks ago when my wife of 16 years found incriminating emails to and from women on my computer. My world fell apart at that exact second. I had been taking Effexor XR 225mg for the past 5 years. My alcohol consumption had skyrocketed to an average of 5 to 6 glasses of wine a day. Gambling had drained my bank account and my share portfolio, and an unhealthy sex addiction (going to sex parties and chasing women over the internet) included unprotected sex with unknown people - putting myself and my family at risk. I now sit here stunned, bewildered at the downward spiral I descended into over the last 2 years. If this was not concerning enough, I dont know why I did it - I look back and wonder what the hell I was doing. After reading articles on here and in relation to effexor and gambling, I realize that I need to review my medication. Fortunately, my wife is the greatest, kindest, most loving woman in the world and she has stood by me as we go through this hell on earth. I have booked an appointment with my psych and cant wait to get off Effexor - even if there are side effects.

If anyone out there is considering a class action, let me know.

SSRI - Stacy Quick

Metairie, LA

My name is Stacy Quick I recently was forced to get off my anti depressants do to the fact that I LEFT my husband my job and everything I own and moved back to my hometown in New Orleans and I dont have insurance and my doctor cut me off.Wish was a BLESSING in disguise I was UNAWARE that the meds had this control over my mind and emotions my husband did notice a change but I WOULD NOT LISTEN now that I am off of them I am ashamed, hurt and confused.I recently told my husband I want to reconcile our marriage and he is refusing me.I am lost

My husband is right about something I am STRONG and I am going to FIGHT for marriage.

There should be a warning label on the bottle (MAY CAUSE YOU TO Destroy your life)!!!!!!!!!

SSRI - Quickwife

just took myself off of medication and it was like waking up from a bad bad dream!! I left my husband ,job, house and everything in it my husband tried to get me off of them when he started seeing changes in me and I would not hear it. I to feel the need to sue I am currently fighting for my marriage but I put him through soo much he does not want to get hurt again I am so lost and confused and ashamed for what put my family through !!! I am working on myself and hopefully God will answer my prayers !

EFFEXOR - Heartbroken

Ridgewood, NY

I'm young, 29....I married a wonderful man in 2010. I started Effexor about a year into our 5 year relationship. This is when, according to him, and looking back I agree with, I started acting differently. I freaked out and called off our engagement and cheated on him. We got back together, went through with the wedding even after I cheated on him a month bEfode the wedding. He loved me THAT much. I then lasted about 6 months, then decided I didn't want to be married and told myself and everyone else I didn't love him. Made lots of excuses. I did a ton of more embarassing things as well, in my opinion, that most don't know besides me.

Our divorce became final in November. I went off Effexor cold turkey in October. It is amazing the difference I feel!!! I was a cold hearted bitch to him. I think I NEVER cried!!! And before Effexor I was super, super sensitive, which I'm back to being. I finally broke down to him which was longggg overdue...and now I'm pretty sure it's too late. I feel horrible, embarassed and heartbroken. I destroyed my own life single handingly and really showed no remorse while doing it.

He recognizes and sees the difference in me...I shared this site with him. But, the divorce is final and he is so broken by me that I don't blame him for being apprehensive.... We were totally apart for 6 months and spent time together for the first time last week, and had an amazing time! He is willing to see what happens, but is VERY standoffish. He is wonderful and I really blew it, and recognize that! I'm afraid it's too late...any advice?!?

SSRIs Are No Good

Seattle, WA

I've been reading your stories and others and truly been shocked at how they all correlate. Effexor is truly evil. For a good while I was exactly the person you describe your wife as. I was totally detached and would insult my own mother and family members. I couldn't show any love. It all came to a head when I visited family and totally went nuts on withdrawal. I think I'm only changing now because I'm aware of it.

Everybody in my family loathes me now - not because I've been evil or done something unforgiveable but because I have been reckless, bizarre and stupid. As much pain as I have caused, it is like it just registers in the mind and doesn't actually show itself in emotion.

I know that it is the drug that caused this deterioration of the spirit. Some recognize this while others don't in my family. I don't blame the people who prescribed it too much, because it really is unimaginable that a pill could cause you to lose emotional connection with other people, but the reality is it does and it can. A generation raised on SSRIs is never going to be normal.

SSRI - Terri

Vancouver, WA

I had kinda the opposite but same thing happen to me. I "fell in love" with a stranger and moved my kids in with him within three months. He lived hours away from me, so we talked on the phone, and I made the decision to move my kids from their stable home of 10+ years to be with this guy. I married him at 5 months. Came to find out he was a pedophile who was addicted to porn, a total liar, total loser. My kids and I moved out 14 months later. I've been rebuilding my life ever since. That was 11 years ago. It wasn't until I found this website that I realized I might have been over the physical withdrawals of stopping the effexor but my mind was not right. I only took effexor for 9 weeks and stopped taking it right about the time I met this guy. The whole time I was getting to know him over the PHONE (what part of that makes sense) I was discontinuing the effexor and doing the slow taper. So I understand what you are all going through but from a different perspective. I lost my children, I lost my home, I gave up a good job...all for a stranger. The most important thing...I lost my self respect. But, things are looking up. I am remarried to a wonderful man, my kids are all grown up and we have a strong bond. I have forgiven myself and let go of the shame.

EFFEXOR - remade

Homer, AK

I started taking Effexor XR for horrible OCD,@ 8-10 years ago. Within a couple of months, my OCD was completely gone, but that wasn't the only part of me that the meds had changed. I also left my husband for another man, and lived with him for over 5 years. This was completely out of character for me. I had been a very good wife for 35 years, and had been a very loving Mother, to our 3 adult children, and I was also a devout Christian. ALL OF THAT CHANGED, and not because I wanted it to! My dr told me my mental wiring had been repaired, by the meds, and it did stop the OCD, but nobody told me it could also change other facets of my life!

Here's the deal. When you take these meds, they do rewire you, significantly. IMO, and from my experience, you are no longer the same person at all, chemically. Some of these comments are blaming the people on the meds, who have left their spouses, but please think about that. This site has @ 5,000 comments and most are about people changing, and leaving their marriages, after these meds. It's not because the people taking them have chosen to leave, it's because their minds have been rewired, and they no longer think like they did before. When I left my husband, I had no insights at all, about the pain I was causing. The meds had made me blind to all that. We shouldn't be blaming the people who took the meds, we should be blaming the meds, and a greedy pharmaceutical industry that wreaks havoc on our lives without warning!

I got off the Effexor and came back to live with my husband, because it felt like the right thing to do. Unfortunately, I'm still rewired, and not very happy here. I'll stay, but I'm still not the same person I used to be, and I've been off the Effexor for many years now. Not only do I still feel like my husband is more like my brother, but I'm also less motherly, and I stopped being a Christian, too. I was totally changed by those meds, and it appears to be a permanent change. I'm still trying to figure out who I am now.

Don't blame the person. Blame the meds, & Big Pharma.

Hang in there!


San Diego, CA

I am 41 and did the same thing. I just walked out on my loving and supportive boyfriend after 4 years during which I was medicated and don't think I ever really felt consistent love for him.

Now he's found someone else, which I can't blame him for. I feel bad that he had to deal with a crazy person for all those years. It must have been so difficult for him. So now he found someone who I hope does not suffer from depression, need medication, or suffer from alcoholism or drug abuse, which I do as well.

So now that I walked out of the relationship for who knows why "I just wasn't happy and didn't love him", I'm homeless, jobless, and wound up going back on Effexor because I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and was seriously considering suicide.

Fortunately I'm not suicidal anymore, and who knows which of my "feelings" or lack there of were "real" or not over the past... well, actually, 17 years (I was first put on Effexor in 1995), but here I am.

To the original person who asked this question, I too went through a period during which I was not very good about taking my medication and my boyfriend at the time noticed the pattern of the relationship between wanting to break up with him every time I'd run out, or re-start, I don't remember.

I would be curious to find out what you have been able to organize on this topic

EFFEXOR - Becky2012

Baldwinsville, NY

Before taking Effexor I was a loving mother of two young children in a happy marriage. 9 years ago I suffered from post-partum depression and was prescribed Effexor. Using Effexor created a loss of feelings and memory loss, lack of mental acuity and increased sex drive resulting in bizarre behavior bordering on criminal. I over compensated the effects of the drug with alcohol abuse. As a result, I ruined my marriage by outlandish sexual behavior, lost my job, lost primary custody of my children and lost the love and support of family and friends. I weened off the drug by lowering the dosage to 37.5 mg daily and then taking apart the capsules and lowering the number of beads per day. Ignoring the side effects I continued this regime until I was off the drug completely. I thought of this idea myself, my doctor did not condone this idea, but I did it anyway and it worked - this was two years ago. Although these symptoms have decreased slowly over the past two years I continue to suffer from insomnia, tics, dizziness, nightmares, feelings of "electrocution" in my brain, headaches, memory loss, bad temper and loss of mental acuity. I continue to suffer from flashbacks from the things I did while on Effexor, but refuse to take another anti-depressant. I no longer feel the need to drink alcohol and have a normal sexual libido. Message to everyone who reads this, I'm so glad I am no longer taking this drug. Every day is struggle just to go on, but I am working on rebuilding my life and it is slowly getting better. Ween yourself off like I did, it was hard, but it worked and I'm so thankful it did.

PAXIL - OutoftheFog

Englewood, CO

I was put on Paxil after the birth of my first child, due to severe PMDD. That was over 10 years ago. This past year, I stopped taking Paxil cold turkey. I feel like I've come out of a fog. During that period when I was on the drug, I ended my marriage, I destroyed my professional reputation and career, and I alienated my siblings. I am looking back at the thoughts in my head, the way I made decisions, and the way I approached my life and I am horrified, embarrassed, and ashamed. I'm faced with trying to piece back together the quiet, conservative person I used to be and to regain my life. For me, there was a tremendous shift in self-awareness, perspective, ego, loss of inhibition, etc. I am sharing this because this effect IS REAL and it took going off the medication to be able to look back with some objectivity, remember what I was thinking and how I was feeling at different times, and to realize that I was not the same person when I was on Paxil. More people need to know about this -- I had never even been one to take OTC medicines, much less prescription medicines. I should have done far more research before ever agreeing to take this drug.


Saskatoon, Canada

I have been taking venlafaxine XR for about 6 weeks mostly at the 37.5 dose. Both times I tried to up my dose I noticed within 3 days a complete loss of emotion, a total emptiness, and I dropped the dose back down, but at 37.5 it was becoming less effective for my anxiety.

I also realized I no longer felt love for my husband. I know I love him, but I can't feel it. I know it's the drug because I have attempted to take SSRIs before and they always make me an apathetic zombie so I have never lasted on them more than 6 weeks. I am getting off this drug as fast as I can before it ruins my marriage. Although I still tell my husband I love him, he can tell I am distant and not really engaged with him.

I decided to try it because it seems to work well for my sister's anxiety, but obviously I can't tolerate anything that messes with my serotonin levels.


Surrey, Canada

I was on Effexor from 2001 to 2006. My marriage broke up in 2006 and I don't even really remember much of those years. Now I am unemployed, missing my wife and just waiting to die...(I've tried suicide 4 times)

EFFEXOR - ungh

Surrey, Canada

That's the scary hting about actually changes who you ARE.was on effexor and treated my wife like garbage. I just changed like that. Now I have NOTHING and I am emptty. I wish assisted suicide were legal. Sorry for your loss as well.

destroyed by SSRIs

Melbourne, Australia

Hi guys,

Im currently on a SSRI and i have to agrees that SSRI's have helped break up my relationship with my partner of 12 years.

He left this week due to the fact that i am always sleeping, i never want to do anything with him, our sex life had come to a complete stand still, i went into the spare room to sleep as i couldn’t sleep in the same bed anymore with him and I would rather be by myself.

The fact that when he told me he was going i felt no emotion, it has left me thinking about the SSRI and the side effects. This drug has taken all emotion from me.

In the past two months i watched my father figure pass away in hospital and my partner leave me and..... nothing.

I went for a visit to my sisters the day he left and sat down while drinking a coffee and explained what just happened and during it i started laughing while saying to my sister " can you believe it! how crazy is this". My sister was stunned and said what’s wrong with you why are you not upset and crying the man you love has left you.

Even she said that it might be the medication im on.

I can’t explain the feelings or sorry lack of feelings I have towards things now, I want my partner back, but I have the feeling of if he wants to go can’t do much about it why try to put my point across maybe he will be better without me. It’s just odd. I love him but it feels like that emotion is trapped somewhere in my head.

Yes i have tried to cry but once one or two tears come out im over it. It's like something pops to your head and you think "oh well can’t do anything about it now". When it happens i do realize that i should be feeling more but it just doesn’t come.

I even told my doctor that i have no emotions anymore and his reply was, are you depressed do you suffer from your other ailments...NO well let’s keep you on them.

I’m going to go to another doctor and see if they can help me.

Im sorry for all of the partners that have to be with someone that is on SSRI’s and are feeling like me. Hope my story helped in some way.

EFFEXOR - Broken Girl

Troy, NY

Yes, I have been there. I felt no emotion while I was on Effexor, I did many things that were seriously out of character, and ended up cheating on my husband. Thankfully, after a two week trip to a mental institution, two weeks living with a complete stranger, doing spice, and starting to smoke cigarettes (all things I had never done, Or ever desired to do) I realized that something was very wrong. I stopped taking the medication, doing spice, smoking ciggarettes and Eventually made amends with my husband. I am now attempting to piece my shattered life back together. Not to mention the fact that I still struggle with the depression that I initially was trying to treat with Effexor. While on Effexor I felt numb. I didn't cry when my friends or my husband cried, I tried to kill myself numerous times and I left behind all the values that had been dear to my heart all my life. I have tried to understand what happened in five short months, and I am trying to take responsibility for my actions, and to not blame it all on a drug. But the fact that I took the drug, COMPLETELY changed and turned into (in my opinion) a horrible person, and then stopped taking it, and felt normal again, makes it impossible for me to see no connection between the two. I'm happy I found this forum as I now see that I'm not the only one, and it reaffirms to me that Effexor had a huge role in me destroying my life, my family, and my self respect. I only hope that this forum can help prevent others from experiencing the hell that I have been through.

Phil and Cindy

Surrey, Canada

In loving memory of a marriage that failed.

Phil and Cindy Martin Sept 1990 to June 2006.

I will always love and miss you Cindy . Effexor failed me, and I failed you.I am honoured to have known you. May my death come swiftly and painlesssly. I can't live without you.


Sheffield, UK

Im so sorry for everyone going through this. Im the wife that left heq husband 3 times because of antidepressants. My husband has really struggled, but since i have worked out what these meds have done to me (the first two cycles i didnt have a clue, hubby thought i had lost my mind) with his help, im able to restrain myself. Im on venlafaxine now and the anger towards him is getting hard to control. Im having racing thoughts and convincing myself i need to leave him. I feel like two different people, im scared and confused.

My doctor thinks i might have bipolar, I dont. I think im addicted to antidepressants. He wont listen to me. Makes me feel i dont know what im talking about. I have no confidence left. My hubby is starting to think i actually dont love him. Our sex life is non existant and he struggles to believe i have NO interest in sex. Im getting angry all the time and every argument ends with me screaming that ive had enough, im leaving. I dont love you. At that moment i convince myself i dont need him and íve never loved him. After ive cried for hours, cut myself and thought about suicide,Í'come down' and we talk calmly. I realise how much i ĺove and need him. I then feel so guilty, depressed and sorry for my husband.

I want to stop taking the meds, but things EVEN worse when withdrawing. I want to run away from everything. My children, mx hubby and even myself.

Ive at times been diagnosed with recurrant depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, ocd and anxiety disorders. Ive had SYMPTOMS of all these disorders, but ONLY when ive been on antidepressants. I was first prescribed ssri's for some anxiety i had in college when i was 17 yrs old. Ive been on and off the rollercoaster ever since


Surrey, Canada

on effexor from 2000 to 2006. Lost marriage in 2006,


Lebanon, TN

This discussion has really opened my eyes to how much Effexor has been effecting me in negative ways. I thought I had lost feelings because of my hormones. But as I have been reading this I am thinking now it has been the Effexor. I have been off Effexor 300 mg now for 3 days. I am having really bad side effects from quitting it but I was having worse side effects when I was taking it. I am so glad to be getting off this medication maybe I can start putting my relationship back the way it should be. Thanks for starting this discussion.


Canton, MS

Hello I'm new to this site and so shock to hear that these drugs played a part of the things I did. It made me just didn't care bout nothin. I lied to my husband took my children with me to meet men and was sexually attracted to other women. What is wrong wit me?????? I can't even remember something's my husband said I done. My whole life is over!!!!!!

PROZAC  - guilty

United States

s there no official (or even unofficial) way to title the SSRI induced promiscuity, loss of compassion and morale, often resulting in divorce...?

I started fluoxetine about ten years ago, when my 2 & 3 year olds were incessantly fighting amongst me trying to run 2 businesses, and i was having continued panic attacks about terrible accidents happening to my babies. I fell victim to the self destructive effects of SSRIs. About 6 years ago my husband started taking them. About 6 months later we separated due to his uncontrollable (it seemed) infidelities. He's made many hasty purchases, hidden all equity and assets, trying for shared custody to avoid any and all payments he might otherwise be responsible for, leaves or children alone and unattended amongst MANY dangers, is void of emotion and ability to nurture, destroyed another marriage where the woman is 12 years his senior with 8 children with her now ex husband, and has become very immoral cold and narcissistic. I cold turkey quit my cymbalta about 4 years ago, and while I feel angry guilty sad and lonely, I'm now keenly aware I SHOULD be feeling these things, whereas before I just didn't feel anything other than high on life. It made me realize the ssr SSRIs were also responsible for my husband's drastic change in personality. I tried to convince him of such about 3 years ago and requested her taper off and remain off for at least 3 months, to prove me wrong. He was too caught up in his own selfish euphoria at this point and refused. We were together 13 years and had never even had a fight, we were so close...then I started SSRIs, then he...and while I've been off them for right at 4 years, he is still taking, and the best description I can provide is...that if accountability or a threat to his euphoria is perceived (which essentially is me at all times), he becomes the devil!

I went from being well-educated, well-to-do, wealthy and supporting my family, to homeless and jobless at one point, and currently still scraping to feed and fight for my children (whom he never before tended to unless i had business to address where i couldn't take them with me)!


Neptune, NJ

I too had similar experience that was totally out of character plus other sexual side effects like anorgasma which even though I took labour 17 pills in 55 days it took over a month after I fully stopped taking ssri for that to go away and also I got involved with someone who I never wanted but had obviously wanted me--loss of inhibition

Never again


Neptune, NJ

When will drs stop prescribing drugs they font fully know about this almost ruined my marriage from a two month work relationship gone mad with someone who I would otherwise never like who obviously saw me differently-I kissed them and felt nothing but I would write poetry to them and they to me and I don't even normally write -not like THAT

Me too ssris never again


Neptune, NJ

I was telling older coworker I loved the but was totally happy with my spouse of course the woman was overtly flirting but they knew I was acting different --watty peiss

Ssris horrible and some people are too who manipulate


Hinesville, GA

I am a 41 year old female that has been on meds for years. I have run the gauntlet with diffrent medications for ptsd and anxiety issues. I have seen issues from weight gain (big problem) to divoroce. I absolutely believe that these meds have an effect on "Love". I have been a cheater (not who I am) and I have totally lost intrest in my relationships. It is like a switch is flipped and I am a completly diffrent person in regards to my love. I find it incredablly frustrating for many reasons espically because the symptom that initally led me to be medicated does not seem much better.

EFFEXOR - Melissa

Fredericton, Canada

I'm a 32 year old female who has struggled with depression. About a year ago my Dr. put me on Effexor. After a few months of it not working and me actually feeling worse, he upped my dose to 225mg. I very quickly became suicidal. I was put off work and stayed home crying all day& night. My very supportive boyfriend stayed with me through all of this. Shortly before Christmas of this year I finally managed to push my boyfriend away, and this time he did not come back. People ask me why I pushed him away if I am so in love with him (I currently am so broken hearted I can't bear it.)And until reading these posts I did not know why I did it. I only knew that I immediately regretted it. I have tried everything i possibly can to mend my relationship. I lost the man of my dreams, my soul mate, and I cry for him every day. I have been trying to get off the effexor for 6 months now and have been unsuccessful. Ive lost my biggest supporter and the only man I will ever love. This heartache mixed with withdrawal symptoms and side effect symptoms have all made my life unbearable. I want my boyfriend back.

PRISTIQ - truth

Cookeville, TN

OMGoodness. I am crying now. And not because of my depression. For the last 2 years I have wondered how I could possibly stay married. And I am married to a VERY GOOD MAN! It just seems like I feel no love for him anymore; certainly no desire. I actually have been taking Pristiq instead of effexor for the last 3 weeks. It is my understanding that they are very much the same drug. I just decided 24 hours ago to get off of this drug and try to save my marriage. Can you imagine my shock at seeing this post? What do I do? I am feeling a little light-headed today and just a little 'sad.' Nothing I can't handle. Do I have a chance? Do we have a chance? What a terrible thing to have to choose between mental peace or a happy marriage. Please pray for me. I lost a 10 yr. job the last time I tried to quit my antidepressant.

EFFEXOR - Perth Princess

Perth, Australia

OMG!!!! I cannot believe I have found this site.

I have thought for a long time that maybe Effexor is affecting my feelings (or lack thereof) and this morning decided to google 'effexor no remorse' not really expecting much to come up.

Boy was I wrong!!

I was put on Effexor 18 months ago as I have 4 children, a part time job and a Husband who doesn't really help much. I was feeling like everything was getting on top of me and I wasn't coping well with life in general.

I was shocked when my GP asked me if I'd ever considered suicide as I haven't. She explained that the drugs she was going to put me on for my 'anxiety' were also used to treat depression. I SO wish I'd have bolted out of her office then and there. Looking back I don't think she has diagnosed me very well. She picked up that things get on top of me and I cry and labelled me as 'anxious and depressed'.

Well if I wasn't depressed then I sure am now.

This time last year I bumped into an ex I haven't seen for 19 years. We connected on Facebook and an affair developed. June last year my Husband found out and I was like an emotionless zombie. I felt no remorse, sympathy, empathy sitting there watching my Husband of 17 years cry in-front of me

He insisted he didn't want us to break up and for a few months things were fine.

Last week I asked him to move out as I need space, to figure out what I want. I do love him but don't feel 'in love' with him. I have moments where I look at myself and think 'wtf do you think you are doing asking him to move out?? You cheated on him.'

He texts me saying he loves me and when I'm ready he'll be back in a shot. I feel nothing when I read those texts. He tried to hug me at the weekend when he collected the kids and I backed off. His face was so sad.

This morning I wondered if there was one person out there that had maybe felt the same as I do. Jeez am I shocked how many there actually are!!

I have phoned the GP and I plan on getting off these drugs ASAP before they kill off anything that may be left between my Husband and I.

I have spent 15 years idolising him and telling him that I worship the ground he walks on as I love him immensely. How come I could cheat on him and feel nothing towards him? I blame the drugs.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying the drugs made me cheat, but I would NEVER have had the nerve to meet up with an ex behind my Husbands back before. Nor would I have EVER risked breaking up our family.

During the affair and because of these drugs I felt nothing about 'what if my Husband finds out' and when he finally did I remember thinking 'ah well, he knows now'

He text me the day he left and said 'I'll be gone when you get home.' I read it and carried on with my day. When I came home I shed maybe half a tear and then went and put clean sheets on our bed. I really want to cry, mourn our marriage breakdown but I ultimately feel like an emotionless cruel heartless bitch.

Hell I was even so bloody matter-of-fact when I told the kids. Couldn't even muster a tear for them.:-(

EFFEXOR - UNcomfortably numb

Tulsa, OK

reading this thread has been like looking into a mirror. i can't begin to express how much relief i feel reading some of the stories on here. although most of the accounts detail unimaginable pain and destruction, it is so important to talk about what effexor can do. granted, i know that some people have found peace with this drug (even i found relief for a short period of time), but in the long run, it's a destroyer. i finally hit rock bottom after succumbing to a manic episode in which i physically hurt myself, my husband and verbally & irrevocably damaged several other important relationships in my manic fury. despite the devastation that occurred, it was the cruel wake up call that i desperately needed. i know that it is unfair to blame "the drugs" for the entire scope of my actions, but i sincerely feel that effexor has permanently altered my brain chemistry, and therefore, acted as the prominent catalyst for my heinous behavior. my story is so similar to others here, i started feeling depressed about 8 years ago, after a break-up. my parents thought it wise to see our family practitioner in order to diagnose "my problem". for the record, i DO NOT think that primary/family physicians should have the authority to prescribed anti-depressants, but that's neither here nor there. it happened to me and sadly continues to happen to people suffering from depression everyday. i don't see this circumstance changing anytime soon. ANYWAY, so i was officially diagnosed with depression and promptly put on zoloft, then transitioned into effexor when the zoloft "stopped" working. i felt fine for a few months, anxiety and depression considerably curbed for the most part, but i became a monster. the only one who didn't see this transformation was me. normally a laid back but deeply caring person, i became apathetic and cruel (at best). my spouse has somehow managed not only to put up with this, he has also been the solid rock of our family while i continued to spiral out of control. i began to lose my sex drive very early on, which understandably hurt our marriage. i also felt devoid of any romantic feelings; i really couldn't care less to be honest. i had all of those uncanny thoughts of leaving my husband, starting anew, etc, etc. i'm just glad i never acted on those impulses. long story short (hardly), i tried to get off the medication, but found the withdrawl symptoms to be debilitating to the point where i could not MOVE. i begrudgingly re-started the medication and my doc was only too happy to continue prescribing it like candy from a pez dispenser. well, the bottom fell out, as mentioned above, and i HAD to get off effexor. again, went to the primary doc and he suggested pristiq, which i have been taking for a little over a week. i am pleasantly surprised that the transition was rather easy compared to the last go, but i am convinced in my heart of hearts that i need to get off all AD's. they have destroyed so much of my life, stolen so many moments from me that at this point, i'd rather be depressed than feel like such detached piece of you know what. i have taken it upon myself to be pro-active in my own treatment. for me, i really want to try to live life medication free...i owe it to my husband, my children, and myself. i know that the road ahead is going to be long and hard, and i just try to concentrate on getting the person back that i was before this nightmare began. for the record, i have not been on pristiq long enough to pass judgement on it, but i have completely lost my faith in my doctor and AD's in general. i'm, i'm terrified of what obstacles lay before me as i attempt to disengage from these med's, but i know i can't go through life like this anymore. thank you to all who have posted, past and present, and for all of our sake's, i hope that doctors will use EXTREME CAUTION in prescribing such mood-altering, life-altering drugs.

Wellbutrin - mnbg

Minneapolis, MN

I have the same story as many of the others. I could never have imagined the devastation that these drugs can cause. I too became a different person while taking the medication and did many things that were completely out of character for me. You really don't realize what's happening until you're off the meds. I also went through the same process with the meds inducing symptoms to which the doctors responded by increasing the dosage which made the original symptoms even more severe. The thing that kills me is how caviler the doctors are about these incredibly dangerous and powerful medications. Before this happened I had everything in the world going for me. Now my life is an absolute disaster and I have Wellbutrin to thank for it. Normally I don't even try to explain it to people because they asume that you're just trying to make excuses. I would like to see one of the disbelievers go through this. Then they might feel a little differently about it.


A bit about me, 24 yr old male, I was diagnosed with SAD about 15 months ago and have been on a very high dose of a SSRI and it isn’t doing alot for my anxiety. I have never been with anyone before due to what i thought was my anxiety, I have had numorus crushes on girls but there was this one girl i was really intrested in but never had the courage to ask her out. Recently we have been in contact with each other and it is quite obvious that she likes me. But since I have been on the pills I feel as though i have lost all feelings that I had for her before. It is realy anoying because she is so perfect but i don’t feeling anything for her and its killing me. I am also starting to think i am gay because i seem to feel more feelings around men then i do women that i never really had before. I dont know what i am doing anymore.

SSRI - Anonymous

I was on SSRIs from age 16 to 26. During those years I had many boyfriends but never could tell if I was in love due to the numbing effects of the antidepressants. Because of this, I ended all those relationships and could never decide who to be with. If I would’ve been off the SSRIs at the time I would have been able to feel in love. I also could never orgasm for those 10 years so couldn’t fully enjoy my youth in this way. I probably would’ve been married by now if it weren’t for the damage the SSRIs did to my love life. The SSRIs also changed my personality-made me over the top happy, loopy/silly, hyperactive, low concentration, daytime fatigue/naps and reduced my intelligence and creativity. Finally at age 26 I got off the SSRIs and can feel in love for the first time in my life. I am now 34 and have been ssri free for 8 years. I have been with my wonderful boyfriend since age 29 and loving every minute of it. I have truly started a second chapter of my life when I got off the ssris. I discovered the real me and my true personality for the first time. I never knew who I was on the ssris. Being on the SSRIs for 10 years was a real set back to my love life. I never got to fully enjoy my youth because of it and would love to go back in time being off the drugs during my youth. I don’t ever want to go back on ssris because of the damage it does to your love life. This info would be useful to Helen Fisher’s studies on ssris and love.