Dimension 20 Season 22

Never Stop Blowing Up

Starring: Brennan Lee Mulligan as Dungeon Master;
Ally Beardsley as Russell Feeld / Jennifer Drips; Ify Nwadiwe as Wendell Morris / Vic Ethanol; Isabella “Izzy” Roland as Paula Donvalson / Jack Manhattan; Rekha Shankar as Usha Rao / G13; Alex Song-Xia as Liv Skyler / Kingskin; and Jacob Wysocki as Andy “Dang” Litefoot / Greg Stocks

Episode 9: Without Our Siblings

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[Brennan]: A list of the topics, themes, and subject matter featured in this episode has been included in the video description.
[Dimension 20 logo slides in]
[radical action movie music plays while a trailer of the cast’s characters play to a background of helicopter sounds, lasers zapping, gunfire, explosions, and more]

Brennan: Hello, one and all! Welcome to another thrilling episode of "Dimension 20: Never Stop Blowing Up." I'm your humble game master, Brennan Lee Mulligan. With me as always are our Awesome Action Heroes. Say hi, Awesome Action Heroes.

All: Hi, Awesome Action Heroes.

Brennan: Last we left off, things got hot and heavy at Lord's Bar and Grill.

Ally: Oh, it was so cool.

Brennan: Oh, so cool!

Ally: It was such a cool spot!

Brennan: A secret cliffside, semi-subterranean hotel extraordinaire for the world's deadliest assassins, cat burglars, gentlemen thieves, criminal underworld masterminds, and all sorts of nefarious ne'er-do-wells. We learned a great deal. We had a confrontation with St. Jude of the Santo Patron, seeing that he was involved somehow with the Shadow Falcons. Ify Nwadiwe became game master for 60 seconds, and Wendell used that to get everybody access and protection as Wendell and Liv went after Pommefreite, the Belgian gangster, who perhaps unknowingly, though he was working with the Belmont Killer Clowns, was being used by the Shadow Falcons to use an EMP hidden inside of a nuke hidden inside of a stick of dynamite to re-transfer all of the world's money to CIA coffers. All of this was learned in the very sad and sorrowful lone room of one Jennifer Drips, who along with Paula, Russell was able to uncover a computer hidden in a paper document that unveiled all of the Shadow Falcons' sort of secret data along with Matilda Drops, your long lost partner, who sent you a photo from Amsterdam. Played a game of craps, which we learned how to play last episode, very exciting. Chased down Pommefreite, got that TNT back, we got the deck of cards with some smooth moves from Dang working alongside G13. And you watched as Jude seemed to die with no fear of death. All of you reconvened in Jennifer's room, contacted Barsimmeon Higgs who said, "All right, if it's time to go, it's time to go. Come on down to the Amazon." You all got in the speedboat, you rushed to Alaska, and then went, "This is not the right place" and you turned back around. You jumped the Andes, boom!

Rekha & Izzy: (laughing)

Brennan: And arrived in the Amazon rainforest where lo and behold, you saw Barsimmeon and he was ready to send you back. But you couldn't go back. And that's when you looked on the TV and saw President Slater Hancock talking about tightening things-

Izzy: Slater.

Brennan: Slater Hancock is the president-

Rekha: Our hottest president!

Rekha & Brennan: (laughing)

Brennan: Hottest president, Slater Hancock! Who said he's gonna tighten things up. And you realized you were right all along! Dave got sucked into the tape with you, which means you guys can't get out unless you get Dave, somehow! Either convince him to come back with you, or if he won't, take

matters into your own hands. Right after that realization, a bullet shot through Barsimmeon Higgs's head, Damian Bane-

Rekha: No!

Brennan: Damian Bane is, bang, no more, baby. And with that, you are surrounded by Warrior Kings as the noise of roaring aircraft coming towards your position in the jungle occurs. We also bought, I think, a ton of individual abilities last time. Do you wanna say what Jack Manhattan got last time?

Izzy: I got Protector. "You lower the DC of a check by three when defending your friends." Grit, "If you are rolling a Tough check to resist a Brawl check, you may lower the difficulty of the roll by three." Wildcard. "You are a wildcard."

Brennan: Awesome.

Izzy: Interrogator. "You may lower the difficulty of a Wits check by three to draw information out of an opponent."

Brennan: Alex, what'd we get?

Alex: I got Relentless, "Gain two Turbo Tokens when you fail a check." And then also one of the Criminal Conspiracy group suite.

Izzy: Oh, yeah, I did that too.

Alex: "You can produce a single useful item when in a new location."

Brennan: Sick. Dang?

Jacob: I'll have what they're having.

Brennan: I'll have what they're having! Sick!

Jacob: Yeah, I got the same exact thing. Relentless. And then the single useful item.

Brennan: Hell yeah.

Ify: I got Relentless, the Criminal Conspiracy single useful item, I got Mastery in Drive, so negative five to all Drive checks. And Relentless where I gained two Turbo Tokens. Turbur… Turbo-

All: (imitating Ify stuttering)

Ify: Turbo Tokens when I fail a check.

Brennan: Hell yeah.

Ally: I can't remember which ones I just got, so I'll just read them all. Quick Healing, where you recover one injury level after every encounter. Wildcard, "You are a wildcard." Martial Artist, "You may spend a Turbo Token to force an enemy to resist your Brawl with Wits instead of Tough."

Brennan: Yeah.

Ally: Hoping that we're fighting a bunch of dummies. And Relentless, the two Turbo Tokens.

Brennan: Hell yes. Awesome. Usha?

Rekha: I think this time I got Stealthy. "Lower the DC of a Sneak check by three." Resilient, "When spending Turbo Tokens to boost a check against

an attack that targets you, each token is worth two instead of one." Demolitions, "Lower the difficulty of a Tech check by three if explosives are involved."

Brennan: Hell yeah.

Rekha: #EMP.

Ally: Empresario?

Rekha: (laughs) Shut up! No! Relentless, gain Turbo Token- (stammering) When you fail a check.

Ally: It's 6:00 AM here in warehouse.

Rekha: Yeah, absolutely.

Ally: We've actually kind of flipped it so that we can finish on time.

Rekha: Absolutely. And I have Criminal Conspiracy, but I actually chose the

one that's about Tech, not the useful item. And that's just a note to myself.

Jacob: Bit of a brag, if you will.

Ally: Bit of a brag.

Rekha: I actually did kind of something interesting.

All: (laughing)

Brennan: And with that, we return to the Amazon rainforest

Ally: Medicine check on Persimmon. Can we try to help him at all, or it was like a head shot?

Brennan: I'm gonna need everyone here to give me Wits six just to act as the bullets and bombs start raining down on you.

Rekha: 11.

Alex: 12. Oh wait, I blew up!

Jacob: Dude, bam!

Brennan: Boom! Are you at a d20?

Alex: D20 on Wits.

Brennan: Hell yeah!

Izzy: Seven.

Ally: 12.

Alex: Five, so 17.

Brennan: 17.

Jacob: 12 on the money.

Ify: Two.

Brennan: Bullets begin to fly. As they do, you look all around, see explosions here and there throughout the jungle. Aircraft are flying overhead. You see the Warrior Kings around you. One of them turns and goes,

Warrior King: It's a setup! They're here to get us!

Brennan: And turns to the six of you assembled here. Wendell, time slows down. Barsimmeon has a bullet through his head on the ground, dead. And you see looking up at you goes,

Barsimmeon: Bury my body where Usha can visit me.

Usha: My house?

Brennan: (laughs)

Barsimmeon: Bury me in Usha's house.

Rekha: (laughs)

Brennan: Wendell, you just hear ringing, slow-mo. The rest of you, what are you gonna do in this moment of quick action before- and I would say these are probably quick and dirty actions that you can do right away as shit sort of pops off.

Jacob: Can I try and get a chunk of his brains and take my pen out and run a DNA sequence?

Brennan: This is gonna be Tech 10.

Izzy: Quick action.

All: (laughing)

Rekha: Can I lend him a Tech die? Are you 20 on?

Jacob: I'm 10.

Brennan: So you can roll a d20 on this one.

Rekha: Yeah. Yeah.

Jacob: Great. Great. Great, great, great. A nine.

Brennan: Okay. Nine. That's one shy of 10. Your pen scans the DNA, and it just comes up, "Damian Bane. Noted soldier of fortune." Gives you nothing on Barsimmeon. So go ahead and take two Turbo Tokens.

Jacob: Yeah.

Brennan: Quick and dirty, what else are we doing here?

Rekha: Can I root through his coat for any tech items he might have on him?

Brennan: Yeah, go ahead and gimme Wits 10.

Rekha: Okay, seven. So, no.

Brennan: No, go ahead and take two Turbo Tokens. You're riffling through. Blood, your fingers are sticky with blood. Every pocket you go in-

Jacob: No, no, no, no!

Brennan: Another sniper bullet comes out and blows up the pocket as your fingers go towards it.

Rekha: No! These beautiful perfect pockets!

Alex: Kingskin is like,

Kingskin: Oh, I should have done this a second ago.

Alex: But just uses his Dorito body to shield as his friends can do more to the body.

Brennan: Awesome. Okay. So you'll make yourself like the primary target. Go ahead and give me Stunts just to leap in the way as the bullets are flying. We'll call this Stunts four.

Alex: Stunts? Okay.

Brennan: Stunts four.

Alex: Stunts? Stunts? Three!

Brennan: Okay, go ahead and take two Turbo Tokens. Okay, you leap in the way,

but the bullets are flying so fast and heavy. Paula?

Izzy: I'm gonna look up at the Warrior Kings and go,

Paula: If you wanna avenge him, you gotta work with us and come kill that dang president!

All: (laughing)

Brennan: Give me Hot nine.

Alex: I love it.

Izzy: I roll a d8 for that.

Ally: You're gonna blow up. I can feel it.

Brennan: Here we go.

Izzy: Two.

Brennan: Take two Turbo Tokens. The Warrior Kings look and say,

Warrior King: That's exactly what the president would want us to think.

Paula: Oh, stupid!

Brennan: Russell?

Ally: I'm gonna take Barsimmeon's body and try to drag it to some brush to kind of hide it, and then I want to take his dog tags.

Alex: Ooh!

Rekha: Nice.

Jacob: Incredibly intelligent.

Izzy: Incredibly intelligent.

Brennan: Go ahead. I'm gonna set one of these at a lower difficulty. Which of them are you doing first? Are you protecting Barsimmeon or are you grabbing the dog tags?

Ally: Grabbing. (through gritted teeth) I'm gonna take the tags. Take the tags first.

Brennan: Give me difficulty four Stunts.

Ally: That's so great 'cause I actually roll a d4.

Brennan: Oh no!

Rekha: Well, I have- But I already did it. I already went.

Ally: Someone else have a high Stunt?

Ify: I have a d12 if that's the best.

Ally: Yeah? Okay, awesome.

Jacob: I only have a d10.

Ally: Thank you.

Brennan: All right, d12 Stunts.

Ally: That's an eight.

Rekha: Eight.

Brennan: Okay. Eight.

Rekha: (gasps)

Rekha: Nice!

Ally: Thank you!

Rekha: Good thinking.

Brennan: Wendell, you look at Russell, and going down to help grab this body, that difficulty four, you just grab and honestly the dog tags come off so easy 'cause five more bullets, Barsimmeon's head's mostly gone. So getting the dog tags off, it's just pretty easy.

Usha: His best feature.

Jacob: (laughs)

Brennan: To get his body to safety, go ahead and give me a Stunts eight.

Ally: Okay, so we're back to the d4.

Brennan: Back to the d4.

Izzy: Do you wanna use mine?

Rekha: (gasps)

Ally: Three.

Rekha: Three, but… No?

Ally: Nothing.

Brennan: Yeah. I mean, you could La Familia and get a token from somebody, but if someone wanted to help you blow up-

Izzy: I'll give you a token.

Ify: Oh, yeah.

Izzy: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Brennan: All right.

Ally: All right.

Rekha: Do you blow up?

Ally: I blow up. Thank God. Okay.

Brennan: Okay, now rolling a d6, you just need a four on here.

Ally: 'Cause it was eight?

Brennan: 'Cause it was eight. Yeah.

Ally: Six!

All: (cheering)

Brennan: You're not sitting on any tokens right now, right?

Ally: No, I'm not.

Brennan: Cool. No worries.

Ally: Eight!

Rekha: Eight! Double blow up!

Brennan: Triple! It's triple blow up!

Rekha: Triple blow up!

Brennan: Oh my god!

Ally: Oh my god. Why didn't I have any tokens? That sucks.

Brennan: Roll the d10!

Izzy: Damian is alive!

Ally: A seven.

Brennan: Okay, so that is-

Ally: Wow! 18 plus 7. 25.

Brennan: 18 plus 7, 25. So on a 25 Stunts check, you can put Barsimmeon's body anywhere you want on the battlefield.

Rekha: Okay!

Brennan: Where's Barsimmeon's body?

Ally: You said there were a bunch of crates that the TV was propped on top?

Brennan: Yeah, absolutely.

Ally: I'm gonna like Bugs Bunny, double style, as fast as I can dig a hole. And then I put him in a crate and then I bury the crate, and then, and then I put an X over it.

Brennan: Oh, hell yeah!

Rekha: Can I also bury a little tracker under that? 'Cause I don't think the X will stay there?

Ally: Oh, that's so smart.

Brennan: Yeah. Hell yeah.

Ally: Well, I made it outta leaves.

Rekha: (laughs)

Brennan: And so with this Stunt check you just hurl Barsimmeon's body. It slams into a crate so hard that the opening of the crate slams shut and nails itself over. It flips over several times, and then right into this massive hole, bam, hits the hole so hard that all the fricking dirt slides back on top of it, and then just a huge hit with the X with the tracker underneath. And now it is your enemy's turn.

Rekha: No.

Izzy: Okay.

Jacob: I guess that's fair.

Ally: (laughs)

Rekha: No thanks. No thanks.

Brennan: Warrior Kings are coming after all of you. Everyone's mostly been focusing on Barsimmeon for this moment, but they see you having thrown him and they see you sort of leaping in the way, you addressed them, and I think they see you putting the tracker in. So it's gonna be Russell, Usha, Liv, and Paula. I'm gonna need Tough checks from each of you. We'll go one by one, we'll do 'em one at a time. So we'll start with Jack Manhattan.

Izzy: Is this resisting a Brawl?

Brennan: This is resisting a Brawl.

Izzy: My DC lowers by three.

Brennan: Okay, awesome. 14 minus 3 is 11. You're rolling a Tough check, difficulty of 11.

Izzy: I have a d10. Five.

Brennan: Okay, go ahead and take an injury level.

Izzy: Can I spend a Turbo Token to not?

Brennan: You're trying to get 11, rolled a five.

Izzy: With six?

Brennan: So six would still be failing by five.

Alex: Well, can I give a Turbo?

Brennan: Yeah, you spend one and you spend one.

Alex: Oh, okay.

Brennan: And that would get you up to a seven, which means you're only failing by four.

Izzy: Okay. Thank you.

Brennan: Cool. Liv, that is an eight. Difficulty eight.

Alex: All right. Rolling a d12. It's a three. But I'll spend one.

Brennan: To make it a four so you're not failing...

Rekha: Hell yeah.

Ally: Nice.

Brennan: Great. And actually, because you guys are still failing these checks, you still get one Turbo Token. Oh no, sorry. Failing a check gives you two. So Relentless, you can take two. Oh we found a little mathematical- When we do the "Never Stop Blowing Up" 2.0 PDF, we'll address this little feedback loop in the system. Russell, coming for you. Difficulty 13 Toughness check.

Ally: 12!

Rekha:  Whoa! You blow up!

Brennan: Oh my god!

Ally: Yeah! Fuck yeah! Get away from me! I'm like...

All: (laughing)

Brennan: Hell yes.

Ally: That's what I'm like. Okay. We're up to 20? Yeah, up to a 20.

Jacob: Nice!

Brennan: Up to a 20 for Tough! Unbelievable.

Jacob: Do it. Do it.

Ally: Three. (laughs)

Brennan: Three. Okay. 15, you avoid the attack effortlessly. And then Usha, go ahead and gimme Tough. Difficulty is 17.

Rekha:  Okay, I roll a seven on a d8.

Ally: Nice.

Rekha:  Blow up.

Ally: Blow up!

Rekha:  Also, because when spending Turbo Tokens to boost a check against an attack, each token is worth two instead of one.

Brennan: Okay, so you're at nine right now.

Rekha:  Okay, great.

Brennan: Cool.

Rekha:  What do you want?

Izzy: I think Ify wants to talk to you.

Ify: 10.

Rekha:  This is a d10?

Ally: Yeah, that's a 10.

Rekha:  So then I don't blow up and that didn't happen.

Brennan: Okay.

Rekha:  So wait, I got a seven. Each of these is worth...

Brennan: 17. Each is worth two.

Rekha:  Okay, so then I can get to an 11, right? 'Cause I had two tokens.

Brennan: Right. And what's the thing, what's the new ability you have that lets them each count for two?

Rekha:  Resilient?

Ify: Yeah!

Brennan: Resilient, when you're doing a Tough check.

Rekha:  Yeah.

Brennan: Yeah, yeah. Cool, awesome. So if you spend two tokens, you'll be at an 11 there and it blows up.

Rekha:  Yes. Okay, great. So now I'm a d12.

Brennan: A 12. You need at least a six on this.

Rekha:  That's cool. Eight!

Brennan: Eight!

Ally: Nice!

Brennan: Cool! All of you avoid injury. Boom, boom, boom, boom.

Ally: Wait, so they're attacking us.

Brennan: Yes.

Ally: It's not the outside stuff, we're being attacked by two different groups.

Brennan: The Warrior Kings are attacking you because they believe that you

are part of the assault force that just killed Barsimmeon. Now you see a number of jets coming in, and they are just (huge explosion) bombs.

Ally: Flags on the jets?

Brennan: These are US stealth bombers. As they are zooming past, I'm going to need a Stunts check from each of you to avoid the bombs going off. Difficulty is 14. If you fail by five or more, you take an automatic injury level.

Rekha:  All right. Failed.

Brennan: Okay, take two Turbo Tokens.

Ify: Got a nine.

Brennan: Nine.

Ify: Failed by five exactly.

Alex: I got a nat one.

Jacob: What was it? What's it, three? I got a...

Brennan: 14. So nine or lower is you take an injury level from the bombs going off.

Jacob: I'm going to take an injury level.

Alex: I got a nat one, I'm gonna blow it up instead.

Jacob: Cool.

Brennan: Hell yeah. What's your Stunts die now?

Alex: So graduating to a d8.

Brennan: Hell yeah.

Izzy: And I got a five. I'm injured.

Alex: I got a four on the d8, so what was it, 11?

Brennan: 11. Yeah.

Alex: I guess I'll spend- Or no, I'll not spend a Turbo Token and just fail.

Brennan: Yeah, just fail. Go ahead and take two Turbo Tokens.

Izzy: Oh, you know what?

Brennan: Yeah?

Izzy: I got a five on a d8. Could I spend three tokens and blow up?

Brennan: Sure. You blow up. Boom. Go ahead and roll another Stunts die.

Izzy: Three.

Brennan: Three. So that's 11. So you're still failing, but actually that's kind of good. So take two Turbo Tokens.

Izzy: Okay.

Brennan: But you don't take an injury level. So a couple other injury levels around, right? Cool. Bombs go off throughout. As they do, Russell, standing there with the dog tags in your hand, you see a harrier jet, a jet that is capable of hovering in place, comes down into the clearing, nose to you. You see mask, like smoke mask, oxygen breathing pilot in the front seat, looks at you. Sharp nose on this jet, and it is going to charge you and attempt to disarm the dog tags by hooking them on the nose of the plane.

Izzy: Of the plane. Of the plane.

Ally: Great. I shout to everyone so they know what's going on.

Izzy: A plane's trying to steal your necklace.

Ally: Yeah, the plane's gonna kind of like...

Brennan: Yeah, like a dolphin sort of bouncing something on its nose. Plane is going to make an opposed Brawl check.

Ally: Okay.

Brennan: With you. It's gonna be Box of Doom. Plane rolls. A four.

Ally: Incredible.

Rekha:  Weak plane.

Izzy: Not a dexterous plane.

Brennan: Not a dexterous plane.

Rekha:  Rigid plane.

Brennan: Go ahead, see if we can beat a four on a Brawl.

Ally: (whispers) Three.

Brennan: (gasps) Okay.

Izzy: Not gonna use a token?

Ally: Obviously I gotta spend a- Oh, I don't have one! Does someone have a token?

Izzy: Yes!

Alex: Yeah, yeah!

Ally: Thank you, sorry.

Alex: I got a lot. You can use one of mine.

Ally: Thank you.

Brennan: Okay!

Ally: Four. I match it.

Brennan: Match it. Cool. So the plane-

Ally: The plane gets really close to stealing these dog tags. (laughs)

Brennan: Yes!

Izzy: You're like, "Hey!"

Ally: Hey!

All: (laughing)

Brennan: It charges you and you have to flip out of the way, and you just took Martial Artist, so you use some aikido redirection and just gently nudge

the plane off of you.

Rekha:  Like an ant.

Ally: Like, "Get off me!"

Rekha:  Yeah! (laughs)

Jacob: Making me giggle every time. I'm trying to show some restraint, but every time you say plane.

Brennan: You are in a sort of mano a mano, knockdown, drag-out brawl with an airplane.

Rekha:  It's like a Chuck Tingle book.

Ally: This is just like Chuck Tingle!

Izzy: It's classic Chuck Tingle!

Brennan: Classic. Classic.

Rekha:  Kind of!

Izzy: Classic Chuck Tingle.

Ally: It's Tinglesque.

Brennan: It is Tinglesque, it's true. Okay, it is all of your turn. What are you doing, Wendell?

Ify: I wanna start this off by talking, like,

Wendell: Don't you understand now? Did you see that jet just try and tackle Miss Drips? We're on your side! So let's take these guys out together!

Brennan: Give me Hot nine.

Ify: All right.

Jacob: Just blows up. Make 'em blow a load.

Ify: Oh, 18! Oh!

Rekha:  Dammit!

Brennan: You see all four Warrior Kings turn to look at you and say,

Warrior King: (chuckles toughly) Vic Ethanol, you crazy son of a bitch. We're in!

Ify: Actually...

Ally: (laughing)

Ify: I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna pay the two to blow it up 'cause I have a chance to roll this again.

Ally: Oh!

Brennan: Okay! Okay!

Ify: I want that 20. Ah! Two.

Brennan: So you see the Warrior Kings are like, "We're in!" Just a whole slew of insane weaponry, like that kind of hip mounted chain gun. One of them just takes out a bunch of those cartoon round black bombs with huge fuses. They're like, "Let's get it done! For Damian Bane!" And all of them sort of

salute the X on the ground where they just watched him get buried in the previous round.

Izzy: Can I see what kinds of weapons these planes have?

Brennan: Yes, they have heat-seeking missiles along their wings and they have what look like front-mounted machine guns, like high caliber machine guns.

Izzy: Okay, can I use my Criminal Conspiracy ability to produce one of those weapons to shoot back at the jets and lower the DC by three?

Brennan: That fucking rules. I will absolutely allow that. So you see the exact classification of missile on these jets. You see a stack of them leaned up against a big oil drum of baked beans near the mess hall tent. You're just gonna have to figure out a way to launch it. But you can run over and try to launch one right now.

Izzy: Yeah, I wanna do that.

Brennan: Okay. They're making a Tough check. They just rolled a 15. So with Duelist, that lowers to a 12. You're making a DC 12 Weapons check.

Izzy: Okay, well, I look at the beans and I go, “I bet these beans aren't as good as my beans.”

Rekha: (chuckles)

Brennan: Hell yeah.

Izzy: And then I pick up a weapon and then I go,

Jack: (New York-ish accent) I bet these beans aren't as good as my beans.

Izzy: Trying to be Jack.

Brennan: Whoa! It's happening!

Rekha:  You doing an impersonation of Jack sounds like what to the opposition?

Ally: Yeah, yeah. One more time.

Izzy: Sounds like (jumbled New York accent speech)

Brennan: Playing a tape backwards.

Ally: It was an alien.

Ally & Rekha: (laughing)

Izzy: Like someone who doesn't know how to use their mouth. 17!

All: (shouting excitedly)

Izzy: That is more, that's five!

Brennan: You're beating it by five! Usha, you're looking at Paula looking at this missile, and Usha, I think you know that in your mind G13 knows how to activate this missile and is not telling Usha how to do it. But in this moment where you're able to give this advantage here, what does Usha say to Paula?

: Usha says to Paula, in her own way, the real answer would be like, "Connect the red wire to the black wire," whatever, that's the G13 way. Usha says,

Usha: Pretend that's Don's new girlfriend up there.

Brennan: (laughs)

Rekha: (chuckling)

Usha: Yeah! Us oldies gotta stick together!

Ify: (laughing)

Rekha: (laughs)

Izzy: Paula straddles the bomb.

Alex: (laughs)

Brennan: Insane!

Izzy: And she's really getting into Jack's body. She's like,

Paula: All right, let's suit up.

All: (laughing)

Izzy: Now, I also have Protector, which also lowers a DC check by three if I'm protecting my friends.

Brennan: Yeah.

Izzy: So do they take even more? But I already beat it by five.

Brennan: You beat it by five, so you straddle on this missile, and that was the whole thing, was you didn't know how to set its homing device up. But as you do, you set it, fire it, and ride the rocket, steering it with your hands right into the heart- And are you aiming at one of the bombers overhead, or the plane?

Izzy: Yeah.

Brennan: Okay, so you're aiming at the bombers overhead. As you rocket up, go ahead and give me one last check. Give me Stunts eight.

Izzy: Four.

Brennan: Four. Okay, and go ahead and take two Turbo Tokens. You aim right for the underside of one of these planes. On a 17 Weapons check, you steer this giant phallic missile that you are riding up through the sky right into the belly of one of the stealth bombers.

Rekha:  Chuck Tingle.

Brennan: And boom!

Ally: No one knows who that is.

Brennan: You knock one of the planes out of the sky and begin to fall probably several hundred feet back to the earth, and that's where we're gonna end your turn.

Izzy: And I go,

Paula: Cock-a-doodle-doo!

All: (laughing)

Brennan: Who else is going?

Ally: I'd love to look for a Jeep if we have a car?

Brennan: Sick, I'm gonna say with your Criminal Conspiracy ability, you can manifest a Jeep in this scene. So you see there's a whole sick Jeep right here.

Ally: Okay, I start loading ammunition in and missiles and stuff into it so that we can get away, but people can still be manning it and shooting.

Brennan: Sick. Give me Wits five.

Ally: Okay. 17.

Brennan: Okay. Incredible. You run over and just start throwing cases, missiles, ammunition, supplies, medical stuff, all is like being thrown in.

Ally: Also trying to get away from that plane that's trying to rob me, so maybe I go between trees or I'm trying to get outta that.

Jacob: "This plane's trying to rob me!"

All: (laughing)

Brennan: We cut to Jennifer like, just huge bullet casings (panting) and running, with a plane weaving in between trees, just fucking (imitating rapid fire) behind you as you run through the jungle with all these supplies.

Ally: Someone get this plane off me!

Brennan: You grab the Jeep and it is loaded up. Who else?

Rekha:  I have a stupid question.

Brennan: Oh no.

Rekha: (laughs)

Jacob: Oh no.

Rekha: Well! Okay. You said there was a bunch of beans in an oil drum?

Brennan: Oil drum, yuh-huh.

Alex: (unsure laughter) I heard beans.

Rekha:  Can I tip it and yell,

Usha: I have the Shadow Falcon Protocol.

Rekha:  And get the plane to slip. Can I do the thing I tried to do earlier, but now it's more meaningful 'cause I'm trying it a second time?

Ally: So when you heard "action movie," you were like, "People are always slipping in action movies. 'Home Alone' is my favorite action movie."

Jacob: (laughing)

All: (laughing)

Rekha:  But Brennan! Hear me out, hear me out. Hear me out.

Ally: I hear you, and it's gonna work.

Brennan: I want you to know, the more I get buttered up, the more I wanna see it happen.

Ally: (laughing)

Rekha:  That's what I'm saying. It's more meaningful!

Izzy: But beans aren't slippery.

Rekha:  No, no, no. Oil drum full of beans.

Izzy: But that's just what they're in.

Rekha:  And then I'll put my shirt on it.

Ally: Oh!

Brennan: Yeah, a T-shirt on a big bunch of beans? Now that's slippery!

Ally: The plane is gonna descend with its wheels, so that then it's going on the ground.

Rekha:  And then I want it to slip and crash, and lose control!

Jacob: Can I help? Are they molasses baked beans?

Brennan: Yeah.

Ally: Little bit of bacon in there!

Brennan: There you go.

Jacob: Pretty slippery! Pretty gunky!

Rekha:  I'm just asking if I can do a little bean slip?

Ally: Yeah.

Brennan: Yeah.

Alex: Bean slip.

Jacob: I'm just asking!

Brennan: Yeah! And you absolutely can. And you know what? You know what, Rekha? We're gonna do this.

Rekha:  Don't say it.

Ally: Charles Tingle?

Rekha:  Don't say 100.

Brennan: No, I'm not gonna say 100.

Rekha:  I can't get to 100.

Izzy: If you're getting the plane to crash, you could just-

Rekha:  What? You want me to do it a different way?

Izzy: No.

Ally: No, I say put your shirt on the baked beans, this is great.

Brennan: Usha, go ahead and give me, you know what? And I'm not even gonna be a jerk. I'm not even gonna be a jerk. Difficulty 18.

Rekha:  On what?

Brennan: On Wits. Difficulty 18 Wits.

Alex: Wits?

Ally: You got this. You got this.

Rekha:  Wait, and I get to re-roll 'cause I have injury.

Brennan: You have an injury.

Ally: It's gonna crit.

Brennan: First roll.

Rekha:  That didn't matter.

Ify: (laughs)

Brennan: 'Cause it was cocked?

Ally: It doesn't matter.

Rekha:  You have to consider- You have to consider, Brennan-

Ally: And you're being weird acting like it matters.

Brennan: Do I suck?

Ally: Yeah. Yeah. And you suck.

Brennan: (laughing)

Rekha:  Here's the thing, people will be so sad if this doesn't work because they'll see that I am sad.

Brennan: They know that your whole arc is about whatever this is.

Ally: Yeah.

Brennan: They know that.

Jacob: (laughing quietly)

Rekha:  That's a nat one.

Alex: Oh!

Rekha:  Which I'm going to choose to max.

Brennan: Bustin' Makes Me Feel Good has to be a nat 20, but you can choose to make that a max roll, which means the move succeeds.

Ally: Yes.

Rekha:  Succeeds. I don't get to be the GM and say, "Actually, Rekha, this move slaps so hard everyone gives you a standing ovation and give you a purple heart."

Brennan: Gives you a purple heart?

All: (laughing)

Brennan: "We normally reserve this to people injured in the line of duty, but that bean trick was so fucking smooth."

Rekha: (laughing)

Ally: Oh my god.

Brennan: It does still explode and you get to roll again. So you could beat 18 by five. So roll that d20 again.

Ally: And you could crit.

Brennan: And you could crit!

Ally: Come on, Rekha.

Rekha:  It's a six.

Brennan: Okay. But that's a 26, which means you beat it by more than five. So describe for me what Usha does in this moment.

Rekha:  Okay, Usha holds up a thing that is not the Shadow Falcon Protocol and goes,

Usha: Hey, boys! I got the Shadow Falcon Protocol for you! You just need to get it out of these. You just need to get it out of these beans!

Rekha:  I push over the oil drum of beans, put my shirt on top of it, and I put the fake Shadow Falcon Protocol, just a USB of fun pictures from the internet. And I put that and I say,

Usha: Come and get it.

Brennan: By the way, there are five bombers. So one's already been blown up by Jack Manhattan. Another one you hear tapped into their radio goes, (radio static) "The beans are a hologram, boys. That's more sky." And flies straight down.

Rekha: (laughing)

Rekha:  "Hey, those beans? That's just more sky."

Brennan: And flies straight down.

Izzy: So they don't even want the Shadow Falcon Protocol.

Brennan: No, he wants it. He's going after it.

Rekha:  Oh, he thinks Usha put it in the middle of the sky. And the shirt is so oily, it's translucent, so you can see through the shirt into the beans like more sky.

Izzy: Usha went full incel and has regressed to Bugs Bunny.

All: (laughing)

Brennan: Yeah, we need people to realize that actual American masculinity is Bugs Bunny. That's what we're all going for.

Ify: Upon seeing this, Wendell no longer believes in God.

All: (laughing)

Jacob: Christianity, get out!

Izzy: Getting sucked into a VHS didn't do it?

Ify: Yeah, no, no, no. This is what did it. This is the straw.

Brennan: This is the straw that broke Wendell. Yeah, you hear over the radio, being like- (laughs) Being like, "Silo, don't do it! That's beans! We got briefed on it earlier! You saw it! They came out of the drum! It's just beans from before!" And you see he goes, "No man, that's more sky."

Jacob: ♪ Wide open spaces ♪

All: (laughing)

Brennan: Boom!

Alex: I listened to that this morning.

Jacob: Good.

All: (laughing)

Izzy: (singing)

Brennan: Unbelievable. So believing it to be a hologram, the second of the five

bombers is destroyed! Incredible turn. Hey, I've always supported every one of your absolutely insane ideas.

All: (clapping)

Ally: Hey, that slapped and here's a purple heart.

All: (laughing)

Rekha:  Usha receives a purple heart for her bravery.

Alex: (laughs)

Brennan: Yeah.

Rekha:  And she goes,

Usha: Bean appétit.

Brennan: Bean appétit!

Ally: You have to go! You have to go!

Alex: Oh no, you have to give back your purple heart!

Rekha:  They rescind the purple heart and say, "You're too stupid to have it."

Ally: You said "Bean appétit" at the awards ceremony for the purple heart!

Rekha:  At the VMAs for the purple heart.

Brennan: Yes, we got Liv and Dang up next.

Jacob: After you, please.

Alex: So there's still three bomber planes left?

Brennan: So three bomber planes. There's a plane that is trying to rob Jennifer.

Alex: So does Kingskin still have his halberd?

Brennan: Yes.

Alex: Is that what it's called.

Brennan: Yes.

Alex: Okay! Kingskin is gonna wield it like a flag, like in the French Revolution, and try to chop off the nose of that plane so it can't go robbing no more.

Brennan: (laughing)

Ally: Incredible.

Brennan: Okay, give me a Weapons check. The plane rolls for its Toughness. Plane got a 14 Tough versus your Weapons.

Alex: Interesting. I have a d10. That's a six. Could I borrow somebody's one token?

Izzy: Yes. Just one?

Alex: Just one.

Izzy: Can we give as many as we want?

Alex: Well, I can blow it up with one more.

Izzy: Oh, here, here, here.

Brennan: Okay. Okay. So you blow it up.

Alex: I spend four tokens.

Brennan: Boom.

Izzy: This is so fun because it's like we level up every episode.

Alex: Eight, so that's a 10 and an eight. It's an 18.

Brennan: 18! Boom! You see Jennifer with all these supplies running through the jungle to this Jeep. The plane is barreling down. More bullets by the second (imitating rapid fire) firing into the jungle around you. What does it look like as Kingskin runs up with the halberd?

Alex: Yeah, somehow Kingskin is just right in the path, so only has to do a simple side step, and then just starts waving this halberd.

Brennan: Hell yeah.

Alex: Slashes down on the nose.

Brennan: You slash down right, and you're like, "We're gonna shave that nose right off. This plane's not gonna be able to steal anymore." Now, you beat it by more than five, so you realize you can chop through the engine and fully blow up this plane. Or you can chop just enough that the plane just can't steal anymore.

Alex: Sounds like you're presenting two options. One that has no advantage.

All: (laughing)

Brennan: I want you to know, in this moment.

Jacob: Get your arms up.

Brennan: In this moment, you can eradicate this and add to your kill count, or if for some reason Liv wants to have this be a little bit less violent.

Alex: No, no, no. Say no more.

Brennan: (laughing)

Alex: Liv was aiming for the nose, goes right through the pilot's body.

Brennan: Yeah. Incredible. Which does cut the nose off. If you slash through the middle of the cockpit, then bam, the plane blows up. You're wreathed in flame, standing there with the halberd. And Jennifer, you are no longer being pursued by this harrier jet. You've saved Jennifer.

Russell: Thank you, Kingston.

Izzy: Kingston?

All: (laughing)

Rekha:  Kingston is a different campaign.

All: (laughing)

Ally: Thank you, Kingston. Wherever you are.

Brennan: Wherever you are.

Ally: That's four planes down?

Brennan: That is the harrier jet and now two of the three bombers. There's three bombers left up in the air overhead. And I believe, Dang, you're the last to go.

Jacob: You know, everybody's been using their Criminal Conspiracy. Papa wants to try out his new toy. Can I say that in a corner of the brush, camouflaged, I see a large gun barrel and I move it and it's an AT-ST?

Brennan: Yes. Absolutely.

Jacob: It's like a two-walking mech suit from "Star Wars."

Rekha:  Incredible.

Jacob: Like one of those big ones in the snow.

Brennan: It's the little two-legged ones that the Ewoks fuck up in "Return of the Jedi."

Jacob: Yeah.

Brennan: Yeah. You see that there is like a little two-legged mech there that you can absolutely jump into.

Jacob: Yeah, I would love to be in that mech and I would love to shoot at one of the jets.

Brennan: Go ahead make a Weapons check. You are trying to beat a difficulty of-

Jacob: Minus five, whatever it is.

Brennan: Okay, so that is gonna move down to an eight.

Jacob: I have a d8. Let's see what happens. Five, I'll blow it up.

Brennan: Boom!

Jacob: Roll my 10. Oh! Oh! (laughs) Four.

Brennan: Okay. So you're beating it by more than five. So you (imitating rapid mech fire). Another one of the planes. There are now simply two bombers left overhead as they go off, but it is their turn. I'm now gonna need a

difficulty 10 Stunts check from everybody, of which if you fail by five or more, you take another injury level.

Ify: Ooh.

Alex: Shit.

Ify: That is a 11.

Izzy: 10. Blow up.

Brennan: Blow up. Boom.

Ally: 10 on the money.

Rekha:  Three.

Ify: 11. I'm gonna blow it up.

Jacob: I got a nine, so I'll blow it.

Brennan: Blow it up. Boom.

Izzy: 12!

Brennan: Oh my god. Double blow up! You double all your tokens!

Izzy: Oh my God. I have four tokens.

Ally: How many tokens you got?

Brennan: Double blow up!

Izzy: 12.

Brennan: Okay. So you got 10 and 12, 22 and another 12 is 24 on your Stunts check. I'm gonna say falling in mid air, as the planes come back around to bomb everybody, on a 34 Stunts check you land on the windshield of another jet in the sky.

Russell: Jack, get this plane for us! We could fly it outta here!

Izzy: Okay, I'm gonna go… (knocking on glass)

Paula: Good morning!

All: (laughing)

Brennan: Full Jack Manhattan. Jack Manhattan has taken over. Unbelievable, okay.

Paula: What you want for breakfast?

All: (laughing)

Brennan: Did anyone fail? Did anyone get five or lower?

Alex: I got a three, so I'll take an injury and two tokens.

Brennan: Yes. Injury and two tokens.

Rekha:  I got three.

Brennan: Okay.

Rekha:  I'm at severe.

Brennan: You are at severe.

Ally: Oh!

Brennan: But you go ahead and take two tokens.

Ify: I got 29.

Brennan: 29! I'm gonna say on a 29, you see Jack on one of the planes. There's not enough space for the whole crew you have in a single plane, so you see one of the Warrior Kings looks at you and says, "You're our driver. Looks like there's another whip up there that could use a good pair of hands." Does the double finger, like the piercingly loud whistle, and you see he goes, "Tony!" And a jaguar leaps out of the jungle and skids-

Izzy: (quietly) Tony the Jaguar?

Brennan: Tony the Jaguar, and skids in front of you and has a full cowboy saddle on it.

Ify: All right. Yeah. Get on that.

Brennan: On a 29 Stunts check, you ride this jaguar through the branches. It leaps from a tree and clings to the side of the other aircraft in the sky. The other Warrior Kings look at you getting the Jeep and they say, "Two planes, you got the Jeep. We're gonna try to grab another plane." And you see that all of them leap, rip parachutes, and splat into the beans, believing that it was more sky.

All: (laughing)

Ally: Dammit, Usha. You're so greasy.

Brennan: (chuckles)

Brennan: Looking at the different planes flying through here, it's now your guys' turn once again. What is it that you wanna do in this moment?

Izzy: I wanna punch through the windshield of the jet and pull the pilot out.

Brennan: This is one move, taking over command of the bomber. It's gonna be Brawl versus Tough. I'm gonna roll the Tough check in the Box of Doom.

Izzy: I lower the DC by three.

Brennan: Okay. That is a 10. You lower that to a seven. But I believe you also have Mastery in Brawl.

Izzy: I do.

Brennan: So Mastery lowers it by five. So difficulty five, gimme a Brawl check.

Izzy: Okay.

Alex: You got it?

Izzy: I got too much tummy. Okay, I'm rolling a Brawl check?

Brennan: You're rolling a Brawl check.

Izzy: Seven. I'm gonna blow up.

Brennan: Okay, you roll three to blow up. Boom! Go ahead, gimme the d12 there.

Izzy: Five.

Brennan: Five! 15. Jack Manhattan cocks back a fist, punches through the windshield of a flying bomber. You hurl the pilot outta the seat (fading scream) into the sky, dead, fully dead. And you leap into the cockpit of the stealth bomber. You have control of the vehicle. Wendell?

Ify: I'm gonna nuzzle the head of the jaguar, jump on top of the jet, and then punch the side to open it up to pull open the-

Brennan: Hell yeah. Go ahead, give me Brawl. Rolled a three on my die here.

Ify: That's 11, I'm gonna go ahead and blow that up.

Brennan: Boom!

Ify: Now that's a d20.

Jacob: Love it.

Brennan: Hell yes.

Ify: That's a nine.

Brennan: Okay. 12 and nine. You beat it handily. You hurl the pilot out from the cockpit, keep the cockpit sealed and you jump into the front seat. There's a copilot seat right behind you. You see that Tony wiggles into it with his paws up and puts his little helmet on behind you in the cockpit of the stealth bomber. Two vehicles. Stealth bombers eradicated. And from there, I think that is all enemies dispatched.

Ally: Yes!

Brennan: We come out of combat. How many d20s are we rocking across the board right now?

Ally: A lot.

Ify: I have four.

Brennan: Four, three, two, two, three. I think four for Usha, right?

Rekha:  I see three. If I'm wrong, someone can tell me.

Brennan: So two stealth bombers. The Warrior Kings' base is absolutely just littered with fire, things are partially burning, beans. The Warrior Kings that all dove-

Ally: The Amazon is burning?

Rekha: Oh no.

Ally: Wow.

Rekha:  Wow.

Brennan: Or not. Or not.

Ally: That's fucked up. No, it is.

Jacob: My mech puts out all the fires.

Brennan: Oh! Beautiful!

Alex: Slow fade. (laughs)

Brennan: Slow fade. And you see the Warrior Kings all stand up, wipe the beans off and go, "God, I thought that was sky." And sort of clean themselves.

Usha: I know.

Warrior King: It was incredible.

Rekha: I knew you would.

Warrior King: The hologram was incredible.

Rekha:  Unaware that they thought it was a hologram.

Ally: (laughing)

Brennan: With combat over, what is it you in this moment? Thankfully, you have

Barsimmeon's MacGuffin, you have those tags.

Rekha:  That's awesome.

Ally: I don't totally understand what that will get us without his other body.

Ify: I try and find some Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate in the area, and I ask the guys-

Ally: Oh!

?: Oh, that's a good idea.

Brennan: Actually pass me your used ones if you'd be so kind.

Ally: Brennan, I have a world question. Barsimmeon died.

Brennan: Yep.

Ally: But there's some kind of mechanic of coming back at the beginning of the movie?

Brennan: Yeah.

Rekha:  If the tape runs out.

Ally: Is there a chance of that happening for him?

Ify: Don't worry. I'll roll a 20.

Ally: Oh, and then you make that happen! Okay, great. Okay. All we have to do is make a 20 and then Barsimmeon goes "I was asleep in the sky!"

Rekha:  Goo-goo ga-ga!

Ally: And now I'm coming!

Izzy: We can change the worldbuilding if we become GM.

Ally: That's so great. We can make everyone give us a standing O and a purple heart.

Brennan: As you look for some more Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate, give me Wits… I'm gonna say Wits four, but if you can get a nine and you can beat it by five, it's even more.

Ify: Okay. Ooh, that's eight. I don't have any to blow up.

Brennan: Anyone got a token?

Ally: I'll combo, can I combo?

Brennan: Yeah, combo. Add your rolls together.

Ally: 15.

Ify: Ooh! 15. So that is, yeah.

Brennan: It looks like Damian had run out. You see tons of empty bottles of the stuff all over. Didn't someone take a radioactivity meter in the last one? Looking at that, you come back to Liv, and the reading is super strong around Liv.

Russell: What did you do?

Liv: Here, I could show you everything I've stolen during this game.

Rekha:  Well, is it the cocaine?

Brennan: As you take everything out and open it, looking at the brick of cocaine, as you cut that open, hidden inside of it...

Izzy: Is a tiny Barsimmeon.

Ally: (laughing) It's a newborn baby we have to raise.

Brennan: As you open it, you find six hidden bottles of Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate.

Jacob: We all get the juice!

Jacob: (laughing proudly)

Ally: Wow!

Jacob: Oh, it's stupid!

Ify: Can everyone pass me all of 'em?

Alex: (laughing)

Ify: I'm just like,

Wendell: Y'all trust me?

Russell: Yes.

Paula: What? Why?

Wendell: Do you all trust me?

Russell: Yes, we trust you.

Paula: No. Why? We need this to kill the president.

Liv: You gotta convince Jack.

Wendell: Do you trust me?

Liv: You keep saying that. (laughs)

Dang: I have to believe.

Paula: Okay.

Wendell: Okay.

Ify: And I take all six-

Izzy: No!

Alex: No!

Izzy: No!

Ify: And I pour it over Barsimmeon's grave.

Alex: Did I really want him back that bad?

All: (laughing)

Usha: Yes! My king!

Ally: If this does nothing...

Ify: (laughing)

Rekha:  You're licking dirt.

Ally: I just need to let Ify know.

Jacob: Yeah, on a friend level, it better work 'cause I did want to drink that and get crazy.

Ally & Ify: (losing it)

Izzy: We have to kill the president!

Ally: I back you up on big swings like this, I have your back, but let me just tell you.

Ify: (laughing)

Jacob: I thought you had a skill that doubled items and you like didn't tell us and you were being like, "Y'all trust me?" Yeah.

Rekha:  I mean, here's the thing. It doesn't work, we squeeze the stuff out of the dirt.

Izzy: We drink Barsimmeon.

Ally: That's so true.

Rekha:  And we eat Barsimmeon.

Jacob: Cannibals.

Ally: Oh my god, we grill his body!

Izzy: Oh, but we don't wanna cook it out!

Ally: Oh, you're right, so we eat it raw. Sashimi style. Delicious.

Brennan: Awesome.

Jacob: It would feel very important for us to have this person, 'cause without him it, our data- it seems like we could not get home.

Ally: Absolutely. What if we did that same exact plan with three of 'em.

All: (laughing)

Ally: Does that change the roll? Does that change the roll?

Izzy: Probably not all or nothing, honestly. Also, Paula wants to do cocaine.

Alex: (laughs)

Brennan: I'm gonna say as you start to hold the cocaine, I'm gonna say this. You pour out all six.

Rekha:  Uh-oh.

Brennan: I am torn as a game master.

Rekha: No, no.

Brennan: And here's why I'm torn.

Rekha:  No.

Brennan: The move is beautiful. Ify's talent for storytelling is so wonderful to behold. Now, my instincts to comedy are that if this does fucking nothing, that's hysterical.

Ify: (laughing)

Alex: So good.

Brennan: But! But! But I think what I'm gonna do is this. Wendell believes. In this moment, Wendell believes. And we are gonna pour that out. What I want is this.

Jacob: A man with no head.

Rekha: He has no head!

Brennan: A man with no head.

Ally: He punched a wound closed.

Jacob: That's fair.

Ify: (laughing)

Brennan: I think this is gonna give each of you a roll, and we're gonna do a skill that is not represented here in this world, and that skill is-

Izzy: Necromancy.

Rekha:  Luck.

Brennan: I was gonna say Heart, but it is- Eh.

Alex: (laughs)

Brennan: But it's if you believe. Do you believe, and is truly anything possible? As you pour them out, six bottles, six heroes, six chances. I'm gonna pass the Box of Doom into the center of the table. If you hit a nat 20 and become the GM, you get to decide what the rules of the game are.

Ally: Wow.

Brennan: And I wanna say that I reserve the option to make something absolutely buck wild happen if even a single nat one shows up.

Ify: Okay!

Brennan: Okay? So go ahead and pass this.

Alex: What if you as the player… What if you as the player already don't believe?

Brennan: You can forego rolling if you want.

Alex: Okay. No, no.

Ally: (laughing)

Rekha:  Are we rolling and passing?

Brennan: Let's go over to Ify.

Ally: Yeah. He starts us off. Oh my God.

Brennan: You start us off. As you pour your bottle of Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate into the ground, taken from the heart of Kingskin's brick of cocaine onto the X where Damian Bane's dead body is within this burial plot, what is Wendell thinking and feeling in this moment?

Ify: He's thinking this has to work. And while he's pouring and staring at everyone's look of horror, he's like,

Wendell: I know this seems crazy, I know this seems impossible, but being stuck in this video with all of you, if I've learned anything, it's without our siblings, we are nothing.

Ify: 19.

Brennan: Brutal. So close. Okay, that's a 19.

Ally: So close.

Brennan: Does anyone feel moved? So Russell, you see Wendell say that, what does Vic say to Wendell after that speech?

Ify: Vic is looking at Russell and he's like,

Vic: You know, there was a lot of things I was trying to teach you in here, kid. How to have a five-second car, how to lose your virginity, how to pound a couple Sombreros, but I never thought that you'd learn the most important lesson of all. To be honest, kid, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Brennan: Wendell feels a deep connection to Vic Ethanol, that the most important lesson of this character he has learned. Russell, what are you feeling in this moment?

Ally: Russell feels like he's kind of trying out the not-super-isolated version of life and just wants to really back Wendell up here and is like,

Russell: Yeah, yeah. It makes sense. Even if this doesn't work, at least this is like a really beautiful burial practice because we just don't know what's gonna happen.

Ally: So he's like...

All: (chuckling)

Rekha:  You've aided people.

Ally: You just gave a really beautiful speech, so he's coming around to it and he's like,

Russell: You know what? Yeah, I believe.

Brennan: Hell yeah.

Ally: Seven.

Brennan: Okay, as you I think about this burial practice and think about saying goodbye, does Russell in this moment hear Jennifer's voice in his head?

Ally: I think she is really angry that he saw that love letter and that picture and she's still very different. She's like, "Don't even talk to me."

Brennan: Cool.

Ally: “You invaded my privacy.”

All: (laughing)

Brennan: I love it!

Ally: He has a very adversarial relationship with this person. It's like, she's too much like him. They wouldn't actually get along in real life.

Brennan: I fucking love that.

Alex: Are we each individually taking one and pouring it as we do?

Brennan: I think that's beautiful. I like that, yeah.

Ally: I poured mine.

Rekha:  I think Usha is inspired by Wendell's ability to dream. I think she goes into the recesses of her brain and she thinks about her time being invaded by G13 and thinks, "One of the things I never want to take from that man is that he has no one in his life." She remembers he has some connection to that person, Slicer, that was probably foregone for the sake of just being smart and brainy and technically savvy. And she's like, "I never wanna put my individual genius over family connections and friendships." And she thinks back, she remembers a moment not so long ago when she poured beans onto a tarmac and thinks-

Ally: Like it was yesterday.

Izzy: Tarmac?

Ify: (laughs)

Jacob: Jungle floor.

Rekha:  Yeah, sorry. My tarmac.

Jacob: (laughs)

Rekha:  And she thinks, "That was sort of a leap of faith."

Ally: Yeah.

Rekha:  I could do that for my sibling too. And she rolls a three. (laughs)

Ally: Okay! It's not a one!

Brennan: Not a one. Is G13 present in this moment for Usha? Or has she fully sealed him away?

Rekha:  I think G13's trying to butt in and be like, "Take the Shadow Falcon Protocol and run, you dumb bitch!"

Ally: (laughs)

Brennan: Is this your first roll after taking injury level?

Alex: Oh!

Brennan: You wanna send that back down the line?

Ally: Right.

Rekha:  Yeah, G13's fighting to say, "This is stupid! He's a fucking nerd! Don't listen to his dumb bullshit! That guy? Take it from me, a nerd! That guy's a fucking nerd!" And Usha says, "Shut up." And she actually remembers the thing that centers her the most, her granddaughter, Lisa, one of many grandchildren, the others who she's never mentioned, and thinks of a time when her sweet Lisa thought her little doll died and poured a bunch of water

on it to resuscitate it. And they all pretended, "Yeah, now the doll's alive. Good job, Lisa." And how cute it was to see that Lisa believed.

Ally: Bring your boyfriend back.

Rekha:  And then she thinks, "I wanna get a kiss." And she rolls a five. (laughs)

Brennan: Pass it on down.

Rekha:  How cool! Think at home how cool would it have been.

Brennan: How cool would it have been.

Rekha:  Think about it. Get it in the comments, how cool would that have been, scale of one to 10.

Brennan: What is Dang thinking in this moment?

Jacob: I think Dang hears the word belief and knows what a hypocrite would I be if I didn't believe in something that my friend believed in. So he rolls.

Brennan: Beautiful.

Jacob: That's a five.

Ally: All right.

Brennan: Do you hear anything from Greg Stocks in this moment as you're pouring out the vial of Adrenanoxinil?

Greg: (classy British accent) I've fucked an alien before.

Brennan: (laughs)

Brennan: Yeah! Yeah, sick!

Alex: Believe!

Brennan: That's sick, yeah! Fucking sick!

Alex: Would you like to go?

Brennan: Yeah.

Rekha:  Oh 'cause you don't believe, so you're not rolling?

Alex: I'm still working on it.

Rekha:  Mm!

Ally: Yeah.

Brennan: Liv may well not believe it's true. What is Paula thinking in this moment?

Izzy: Paula is coked out.

Alex: (laughing)

Ally: What?

Izzy: She did some cocaine.

Ally: Oh, okay, okay.

Izzy: But more importantly, she is geeked up on the thrill of a lifetime, having accepted this as the excitement that she needed in her life. And sort of having seen how alone Russell and Jennifer are in their lives, she and Jack are sort of like, "I don't need to choose that."

Brennan: Yeah, as you pour, go ahead and give me your roll.

Izzy: 14.

Brennan: Okay. Does Jack say anything in this moment to Paula?

Jack: Great rack.

Brennan: Sick.

Rekha:  Wow. Jack never changed.

Ally: To his own body. (laughs)

Jacob: Sometimes you don't need a lot of words.

Brennan: You don't need a lot of words.

Alex: Liv hears everyone's speeches, sees everyone pour their Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate onto Barsimmeon's grave, and maybe it's that Kingskin has gotten a little too into Liv, or maybe this was already inside Liv out in the real world, but she takes her bottle, she rips it open, she downs it and she runs.

Rekha:  Ooh, I love that!

Brennan: Oh my God!

Liv: Fuck all of you! I'm tired of doing everything for everyone else! This is for me! I'll stay in this game, I don't care! I'll figure it out! I don't know this guy! Who is he?

Brennan: (laughs)

Usha: The love of my life!

Liv: Sorry, Usha!

Ally: Fuck!

Brennan: Fuck! You tear off into the jungle. Give me Stunts!

Alex: This is not my good one.

Ally: Can I do an opposed Brawl?

Brennan: Liv does take off. But we're gonna see how fast she can run. What's that?

Alex: And I drank that.

Brennan: So everyone else has a minus five to their roll. So go ahead and gimme your Stunts roll, first and foremost.

Alex: It's also my first roll after an injury. Says seven. I'll blow that up.

Brennan: Okay, but also roll with advantage too, just to see if you might blow up naturally on your own.

Alex: It's still a seven.

Brennan: Wow, then blow up. Boom. Okay, you explode. So that's an eight. Now you're rolling a d10.

Izzy: I will also Duelist this.

Brennan: Now you're rolling d10. You have an eight.

Alex: Six.

Brennan: Okay, so that is a 14. Go ahead and pass the Box of Doom back to me. So I am gonna need Stunts checks from everybody. And because of the Adrenanoxinil, you're actually gonna need to roll a 19 on your Stunt check.

Ally: 19.

Rekha:  Nice! (gasps)

Brennan: Wow.

Izzy: Mine was on a fucking nat 20 for two seconds.

Ally: Ooh!

Brennan: Okay.

Jacob: Ooh. Just a one.

Rekha:  Uh, but?

Jacob: No, I'm not gonna fuck with it.

Brennan: Oh, you're gonna accept it.

Rekha:  You accept it?

Jacob: I think Dang sees validity in Liv's argument.

Brennan: Yeah. Take six Turbo Tokens. 'Cause on a one, you accept the roll.

Jacob: Okay, thank you.

Brennan: For those that fail, go ahead and take two Turbo Tokens. Liv takes off. Russell, you tear off, and you see, Liv, even with the Adrenanoxinil, Jennifer Drips pulls up alongside you, keeping pace in this moment. You two are alone in the jungle here in this moment. Liv as you feel the Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate filling your veins, you're like, you see all of this, all this world is open to you, everyone's pouring it out for Barsimmeon's sake, everyone's expecting you to do the right thing, expecting you to do what you need to do. And that completely silent expectation that you're just gonna play along is mixing with this wild adrenaline chemical in your body. Everything is just hot and red, it's overstimulated, so much information. And Jennifer, you whip into this jungle clearing alongside Kingskin.

Liv: Just leave me alone, Russell!

Russell: I can't, I can't! I'm not alone anymore! I've decided that's not my thing!

Liv: Well, just leave me alone right now! I don't wanna go back to my life, okay? I don't wanna go to Stanford! I didn't even make the deadline to accept anyway!

Russell: What? You can just say it got lost in the mail.

Liv: I guess I could try that.

Russell: You could totally just lie.

Liv: No, no! I only applied because, I don't know, just, I don't know what I want! I've never stopped to listen to what I actually want, it's just what everybody else wants from me!

Russell: Yeah, okay. That makes a lot of sense. I don't think-

Brennan: Do you keep running?

Ally: Oh, I stopped. I stopped.

Brennan: Oh, you stopped. Okay.

Ally: I just stopped and I bent over.

Alex: And then I stopped 'cause I was like, "Well, you sounded like you had something to say."

Ally: I just,

Russell: (coughs) Oh God, I kind of pulled a hammy.

Alex: Kingskin knows he could just keep running, but is like, "Okay."

Russell: Okay, look, I totally get that. I think a lot of us are kind of facing our demons in this nasty little VHS, so I agree. The thought of going back to my apartment and seeing the fact that I just have string cheese in the fridge is gonna haunt me. I'm thinking about moving.

Liv: Oh, well, what if you move somewhere new and it still feels like that? Sorry.

Russell: Damn, that's so- No, that's great. That's great.

Liv: No, just, okay. You could still stay in your place and just make it different.

Russell: I guess, yeah, well, same advice to you. I guess we could just, we don't have to go home right away. You know? I think we can get all of our ducks in a row, we could find Dave. That fucking asshole is somehow the president. I more just wanna be able to kill him.

Liv: 'Cause everyone's gonna be so mad at me. I can't go back to the group. I can't go back to the real world. I burned the bridges, so I just have to go, okay?

Russell: That's really interesting 'cause that's what you just did.

Liv: Yeah.

Russell: Yeah, you just like stepped on Wendell's funeral procession. I mean, I think maybe you're just so used to being the bridge burner that that's where you feel most comfortable, but you can break that cycle anytime.

Liv: No.

Russell: Yeah!

Liv: No, they all hate me!

Russell: No, no, no. I seriously, I think every one of us was thinking about maybe just drinking it instead and then somehow by the grace of God none of us did but you, I think everyone will really understand you. I stuck my finger and I tasted some of it, so really I just poured all of it, but like a little bit on Barsimmeon.

Liv: But what if I keep going?

Russell: You can run, you could just run in this jungle in a VHS tape. This is fake. You might feel like you're escaping, but your life is just on stand-still at home. It's just waiting there for you. Nothing you do here is gonna make that go away.

Liv: I don't wanna go home.

Russell: That makes a lot of sense.

Liv: Do you really think they'll be okay?

Russel: I really think you can apologize and they'll totally be okay.

Liv: You don't think a whole arc needs to happen?

Russell: You know, I mean, the journey that you've been on has been heroic.

Liv: Can I tell you something, Russell? Stealing doesn't even feel that good. I thought I was here as Kingskin to learn that like, I don't know, be bi, do crime, whatever.

Russell: Yeah.

Liv: But I think maybe only do crime if you want to.

Russell: Yeah, I'm doing a lot of work with myself around defiance compliance. You might think that you can comply and do everything the right way, but that just hikes up the defiance in crazy ass ways. Before you know it, you're stealing money from the people that you love or whatever you were talking about.

Alex: We're both crying.

Ally: Yeah, Russell's totally crying.

Russell: I stole from my grandma when I was really young. I stole from her.

Liv: I did that too.

Russell: Shit.

Liv: She didn't even… I was like, "She doesn't need it," but then she was looking for it.

Russell: She was looking for it for so long!

Liv: She was gonna give it to me anyway for my birthday and I took that from her!

Russell: I gave my grandmother $1,000 the week before we came-

Ally: I'm sorry, this is such an insane side plot. (laughs)

Liv: That's really nice.

Russell: Yeah. No, yeah, I love my grandma so much, dude. Should we get back there, or like?

Liv: I really don't want to. Okay, I'll come with you.

Russell: Okay.

Liv: Yeah, I'm still like really amped up.

Russell: Yeah, you were crying kind of extra hard.

Liv: You want me to carry you?

Russell: I'd love that.

Ally: Russell gets in full fetal position and he's just looking at the trees pass above.

Izzy: How are you coming back from this interaction carrying Jennifer?

Russell: That was so nice. I'm so glad we got to talk.

Liv: Really nice.

Russell: Hi everyone, I'm baby.

Liv: And I'm daddy.

Usha: You're back!

Ally: (laughs)

Brennan: Kingskin arrives back in camp with Jennifer Drips in his arms.

Ally: Baby Jennifer.

Brennan: Baby Jennifer.

Alex: I gently place Jennifer back down on the ground.

Russell: (quietly) Ow.

Alex: I look at everyone, but I face Wendell.

Liv: I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't believe in your plan. I'm sorry I ruined it.

Wendell: It's okay, it was a dumb idea anyway.

Liv: No, no, it wasn't dumb. It wasn't dumb, I just… I think I needed to feel what it felt like to be completely alone, and it wasn't what I wanted.

Wendell: Yeah, that's cool. It is dumb. It's dumb, I don't know why being in a video tape would make me think I'm any less of a fucking loser than I already am.

Liv: No!

Wendell: No, it's great.

Liv: Wendell, no!

Alex: Liv is gonna kiss Wendell to shut him up.

All: (gasps)

Brennan: Whoa!

All: (laughing)

Ally: Toxica!

Izzy: Not because she wants to.

Alex: (laughing)

Rekha:  Toxica! By the way, also, you are absolutely 'roid raging right now.

Ally: You are 'roid raging.

Izzy: He doesn't know that!

Jacob: That's why it's toxic!

Alex: Okay, sorry for being toxic!

Ally: No! Do your thing! You're a high schooler!

Rekha:  Girl, make a mess, Liv!

Liv: Okay, sorry, I want hear the rest of what you were saying.

Ally: (laughing)

Liv: Sorry.

Alex: She pulls back from the kiss.

Liv: What were you saying?

Wendell: I forgot.

Liv: Did you feel any of the Adrenanoxinil?

Brennan: Gimme one last roll.

Rekha:  A French kiss for Adrenanoxinil in your system.

Brennan: Pass this over. Gimme one last roll.

Izzy: Was there tongue?

Alex: A little bit.

Rekha: (gasps)

Ally: Beginnings of tongue.

Brennan: For that sixth vial, one last d20 roll. Nat one or nat 20.

Ify: Okay. 17.

Brennan: Go ahead and pass it back. You feel the Adrenanoxinil on your lips. You look to the place in the ground. You wonder if this plan ever could have worked, if Barsimmeon could have come back, would he have come back? But that belief has to count for something. Looking here, you look around

to the four Warrior Kings covered in beans, weeping so hard that their bodies shake with the effort of crying. You see Tony the Jaguar lying down, pawing at the saddle wrapped around him, trying to get it off. He's a jaguar, not a horse.

Rekha:  Mm.

Izzy: He's going through his own stuff.

Brennan: You look and you weren't able to resurrect Barsimmeon. Can I see the dog tags? Russell, feeling these in your hands as the Adrenanoxinil seeps into the ground, the ground begins to glow, that X shimmering, and you feel that these dog tags begin to become hot to the touch. Wendell, at the height of your belief, you thought there was a way to bring Barsimmeon back. At the height of your badassness, you wanted there to be the person that was

your guide in this place to come back and continue to guide you, to remove you from this world, to get you back to Lake Elsinore and back home. But that's not the lesson of this place. This plan could never work, not because things here are impossible, but because the things that are possible have to do with you. Russell, looking at that glowing X in the ground, you see Tony the Jaguar stand up on his hind legs and begin to sing.

Izzy & Alex: (laugh)

Brennan: No, no, the moment is beautiful and it's not funny.

Izzy: No.

Brennan: He begins to sing, the Warrior Kings harmonize with him. The dog tags in your hand blow up. Take two injury levels.

Ally: What? What the fuck!

All: (laughing)

Brennan: And Wendell, looking at Liv, Vic looking at Kingskin, the Adrenanoxinil touching your lips, your first kiss, and you feel the dynamite in your hand glow. And you look at it. And in between the sticks of dynamite, you see, as these names were on the dog tags here, written along with the serial numbers on the casings you see the name Damian Bane. You are the new keeper of "Never Stop Blowing Up."

Dang: All hail the king.

Usha: I remember the first king.

Ally: (scoffs)

Wendell: What? Huh?

All: (laughing)

Wendell: What does that mean, Usha? I need answers.

Usha: A monarchy is when there's-

Wendell: No, I know what a monarchy is. What do you mean by the first king? Of what?

Usha: Huh?

Wendell: Okay.

Russell: Congrats, Wendell. This is a big moment for you. Do you feel any different?

Brennan: Barsimmeon had mentioned that he discovered this tape, and I think Wendell back in the video store, like, you were the person who kind of cared about movies the most. And I think you feel that moment of relating to your

brothers and your father, wanting that recognition. When you want recognition, you are saying that there is something in yourself that you need the external approval of, and wanting Barsimmeon to come back, maybe it could have happened, maybe there was some world where he could be resurrected, but life goes on. The movie continues. It needs a new keeper. Feeling this dynamite, you know that you have the ability to get everybody back to Dave's Video World if you can get Dave.

Russell: You could come back whenever you want.

Wendell: Yeah. Okay.

Russell: That's crazy.

Wendell: Okay, we'll get Dave's punk ass outta here.

Russell: Yeah.

Wendell: Go back home, and then come back here whenever we want. If we want.

Ify: And direct eye contact with Kingskin.

Wendell: This doesn't have to end here, we just have to make sure we're doing it on our terms.

Brennan: Tony the Jaguar looks out and says,

Tony: Time is running short.

Rekha:  What?

Russell: You speak English now?

Tony: Your time here in the rainforest has come to an end. We must make our way to the various- Yes, question?

Russell: I completely agree. Before we leave, should we scoop up a bunch of this mud so that we can wipe it on ourselves before facing Dave?

Usha: Let's wipe ourselves with mud.

Izzy: I'll eat the mud.

Usha: I'm gonna eat mud.

Russell: You guys are gonna eat it?

Izzy: I'll eat it.

Russell: Okay, all right.

Liv: I can also kiss everybody.

Russell: Yeah.

All: (laughing)

Ally: I start kissing everybody.

Russell: Oh, we've been through so much!

Usha: You have to file this with HR.

Ally: I dip G13.

Brennan: Great. Everyone eats dirt and kisses each other.

Izzy: And Tony says what?

Ally: (sassy) And Tony says what?

Brennan: (laughing)

Jacob: What's he got to say?

Brennan: You see Tony says,

Tony: Are me and the Warrior Kings allowed to join in this, or is it just for you?

Rekha:  Yes!

Ally: I kiss the jaguar. I dip the jaguar.

Russell: You're so cute!

Brennan: Got fucking hooks on his tongue. Yeah. Yeah.

Russell: You're so freaking cute!

Brennan: Great.

Russell: Hey, girlie!

Brennan: The Warrior Kings, the jaguar, and all of you make out and eat dirt.

Alex: And take a moment in between this to say to Wendell,

Liv: I meant it with you.

Wendell: Thank you. I meant it too.

Brennan: Great.

Alex: And then we each go back.

Brennan: Great, you each go back. You eat all the dirt.

Rekha:  So we're eating the dirt that Barsimmeon's bloody body was buried in?

Izzy: Uh-huh.

Brennan: Also, it's easy to go down 'cause a lot of the beans spilled on it. So there's beans and molasses.

Rekha:  Oh my god, this is heaven!

Jacob: Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got death in my tummy.

All: (laughing)

Brennan: Exactly!

Izzy: There's also cocaine.

Alex: Yeah.

Brennan: You guys do a bunch of coke.

Rekha:  I eat the tracker by accident.

Izzy: Though we do need the- I guess if it's just the bag.

Alex: Which part, is it the tape that we need?

Izzy: I know.

Ally: Yeah, which part of this gets you home?

Rekha:  It's probably the tape, yeah.

Brennan: Now, with all of that being said and done, you guys all get minus five to all difficulties from the Adrenanoxinil until...

Izzy: 'Cause we ate the dirt?

Brennan: Because you ate the dirt, you get minus 5 to all of that until the end of the scene.

Ally: I knew! I knew!

Brennan: Which is right now.

Ally: That's why I was trying to collect it and save it! All right, so we just kissed really hard.

Brennan: Kiss really hard.

Ally: It's all bone. Chin bone.

Alex: Like our lips are swollen?

Ally: Yeah! (laughs)

Brennan: Let me be clear. You got in a huge fight, ate a bunch of dirt, made out, poured out your bottles, jaguar can talk, Warrior Kings covered in beans, you guys take off.

Ally: Incredible.

Rekha:  This is a good movie.

All: (laughing)

Jacob: I'd like to be in my mech suit and use machine guns to fly.

Brennan: Incredible, so you're in your mech suit. Firing straight down, the force of the bullets impacting on the ground propels you skyward as you race from the center of Brazil to North America, leaving a line of bullets cutting straight across the southern and northern hemisphere. Everyone that is hit by this bullet is a bad guy.

Ally: Deserved.

Brennan: Incredible.

Ally: Can we bring the jaguar?

Alex: Can I call on a criminal to give me a vehicle?

Brennan: Yeah, for sure. Skidding into the clearing, you see that Kirk, the guy who

you had in your first scene, skids in with a hot rod.

Kirk: What's up, boss?

Liv: Kirk! Good to see you.

Kirk: Good to see you too. Want a whip?

Liv: Yes, sir.

Kirk: All right. I'll walk home.

Liv: Oh no! (laughs)

Brennan: And you see he takes off into the jungle. Machine gun flying, stealth bomber, jaguar. You've got a car with enough seats for the people that are here. Oh, you got a Jeep!

Ally: We got a Jeep and we have another fire plane.

Brennan: Stealth bomber. Yeah.

Ally: Yeah. I'm gonna fly with Wendell.

Brennan: Okay, you're with Wendell.

Ally: And the jaguar.

Brennan: And the jaguar.

Rekha:  I can drive the Jeep.

Brennan: Great! Usha takes the Jeep. You guys get outta here.

Alex: So I'm just by myself in this hot rod? So people are mad?

All: (laughing)

Brennan: Where are you all headed to?

Ally: Washington DC.

Ify: Washington D-fucking-C.

Ally: The steps with Lincoln's big body.

Ify: Washington District of Columbia.

Brennan: Incredible.

Ally: To the Qdoba.

Ify: (laughing)

Rekha:  To 1600 Pennsylvania Qdoba.

Ally: Right to the Qdoba.

Brennan: And I'm gonna say the Jeep drives and the hot rod both drive into a massive net. The net is hooked to the stealth bomber, and then flying covered behind them with the machine gun jets is the mech. And you guys take off flying from the Amazon rainforest streaking north towards Washington DC, the District of Columbia, as fast as your jets and mechs and Jeeps and hot rods and jaguars can take you, and skid to the Washington Mall.

Paula: Gosh, I've never been here before.

Russell: (gasps)

Russell: Me neither!

Paula: (gasps)

Russell: Maybe we should do a little tour. Ah!

Paula: Ah!

Russell: Should we all get dressed up a little fancier so that we can walk through the Oval Office?

Wendell: I think we should suit up.

Dang: Suit up.

Brennan: Arriving in our nation's capital, the Reflecting Pool, the Washington Mall, the Lincoln Memorial. ♪ O say, does that star-spangled ♪ Boom! Dark stormy skies (imitating lightning crackling) storms over Washington DC. Looks like there's something sinister at work here in the nation's capital. You see jets flying in all directions. You see huge sort of cyberpunk screens, almost like Times Square have been put up everywhere featuring all of your faces, being like, "Most Wanted! Vic Ethanol. Greg Stocks. Jennifer Drips. Jack Manhattan. G13. Steven Skin!" You look around and see all throughout these giant posters everywhere as you skid in to the Washington Mall. And all of you look at each other knowing that an enormous challenge awaits you. What do you do as you arrive in Washington DC?

Ally: I put the jaguar in a BabyBjörn.

Brennan: (imitates a cat meowing)

Ify: I backflip out of the plane and fly it in towards the one that says Vic Ethanol, landing while it explodes behind me.

Brennan: (imitates explosion)

Russell: I think we gotta switch up how we look.

Dang: Should we...

All: Suit up!

Paula: Go shopping? Oh.

Alex: (laughing)

Dang: Excuse me, what did you say?

Ally: What did you say?

Liv: Perfect.

Paula: Go shopping?

Russell: Yeah, yeah. Same thing! Same thing! We go to the mall.

Rekha: We gotta get Washington DC shirts. We're at a shirt store.

Alex: Why are we- (laughs)

Ally: I need a suit. I need to be able to walk through the Oval Office and look like an aide.

Brennan: So you go basically get a disguise to look like a White House aide. What are other people doing during their suit ups?

Ify: Get a suit and I put a wig on, since I'm bald, and a mustache.

Ally: I put a bald cap on.

Alex & Ify: (laugh)

Brennan: You're a beautiful woman in a suit, bald.

Ally: Yeah.

Brennan: You are Vic Ethanol, but you have a mustache and wig. What kind of wig?

Ify: I'm thinking it's a Barack Obama-esque fade, where it's salt and pepper

Brennan: The thinnest wig of all time!

Ify: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Salt and pepper. As a matter of fact, I look like Barack Obama.

Ally: We all go, "Damn, you look so good, Vic."

Ify: (clears his throat)

Wendell: (imitates Obama) You know, I'm getting ready to go inside.

Izzy: Oh, he's got an Obama.

Brennan: (wheezing)

Russell: I'm gonna pretend I'm your aide.

Rekha:  "SNL", hello?

Jacob: A person who's a child, right, at this point?

Brennan: No one here will know who this is. This is just for you guys from the real world.

Alex: He's in his 20s.

Brennan: Yeah!

Ally: Oh yeah!

Rekha:  I go to a chef supply store to dress up as the White House chef.

Ally: Just top of the ranks?

Rekha:  Yeah. Well, I'm allowed in. I'm making the food for the president.

Brennan: Okay. Aide, aide, chef.

Rekha:  Chef.

Brennan: Incredible.

Rekha:  Italian mustache. Thank you for asking, Italian mustache.

Jacob: Oh!

Rekha:  Italian hair.

Brennan: Molto bene.

Ally: La familia.

Jacob: I don't wanna explain how the time of this works, I just want to use a trope used in action movies where you split the screen into three different pictures. Church, confessional, new suit.

Ally: Yup! Yup!

Brennan: Unbelievable.

Jacob: And then Greg Stocks combs his hair the other direction and he looks completely different.

Brennan: Unbelievable. Perfect.

Rekha:  Incredible.

Alex: Steven Skin goes to.. asks a passerby in a suit,

Liv: Oh, where does a senator get a suit around here?

Alex: And he goes and gets the most DC, Capitol Hill type suit, and kind of cosplays what his life could have been like if he stayed that Princeton West Point track.

Rekha:  And he's giant now, right?

Alex: And he's really big. Yeah.

Rekha:  You're like John Fetterman.

Brennan: I know we're doing a suit up segment, but gimme a Hot check real quick. Let's just call it a difficulty eight.

Alex: Seven.

Rekha: (gasps)

Ally: Oh!

Alex: Oh, I can't blow it up.

Izzy: Well, you can meet it.

Alex: Oh, I can meet it.

Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool! Yeah, you look very senatorial here in this lovely suit. Jack Manhattan?

Izzy: Jack Manhattan buys a clean tank top. It was so dirty, it was like green-brown.

Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Izzy: And now he has a clean one. Still no shoes.

Brennan: Still no shoes, this guy will not-

Rekha:  To walk into the White House!

Brennan: To walk into the White House, incredible.

Russell: Can I give you a hat? Just like a baseball hat?

Jacob: Like the one that a famous person uses to be normal.

Ally: Yeah, where it's just like incognito.

Rekha:  To go grocery shopping.

Ally: To go grocery shopping! (laughs) The Gelson's hat.

Brennan: The Warrior Kings look at you, Vic, and say, "How do you want us to dress?"

Wendell: Y'all can dress in suits as my Secret Service.

Brennan: Ooh!

Wendell: You're the aide.

Brennan: So you guys are dressed like aides, so I think as they dress like Secret Service, they fall in behind the senator, senatorial figure, to look like senatorial security.

Ally: I'm holding so many papers.

Brennan: Incredible.

Ify: I have a notebook.

Wendell: Yep. Uh-huh. Yep. (Obama impression) You'll see. Am I right?

Brennan: (laughs) You see skidding into the Washington Mall next to you guys as you're in this process, Doug Meat along with Johnny and Lucy show up as well. And you see Doug goes,

Doug: Oh, God. You guys are okay. You're okay.

Russell: Yeah.

Liv: Doug... It's good to see you.

Doug: It's good to see you too. I know that I probably won't survive this next scheme, but I just want you to know that… I just know, I can feel it. I'm fucking toast.

Ify: (laughs)

Rekha:  Brennan telling us Doug's dying.

Doug: There's no way. There's just no fucking way.

Liv: You're in our hearts. Who knows if we could even keep going if that something were to happen to you.

Doug: I know you will because I love you. And… I'm for sure fucking dead. Like, in moments.

Russell: No. No.

Rekha: (laughs)

Wendell: We won't let you die.

Russell: Nothing's gonna happen to you.

Liv: We love you, Doug.

Paula: (New York-ish accent) Thank you for taking care of my family.

Dang: Doug, if you die, or when you die, just know you got six people who are always gonna be like, "Remember fucking Doug?" And then we're all gonna smile.

Usha: Yeah. I think you're a very nice boy. And here's a mint.

Brennan: He takes the mint.

Liv: Wait, wait Doug, in case- I didn't know if you were gonna take the mint and get your head shot off or something, so I just wanted to ask, is there anything you would like us to do for you in the case that that happens? Not that it will.

Doug: If I were to die, there's just one thing that I would- (chokes)

Alex: Oh no. (laughs)

All: (laughing)

Usha: No! Does he choke on my mint?

Brennan: He chokes on the mint.

Usha: It's my fault?

Russell: Usha! Touch his neck! Bring him back!

Brennan: You wanna touch his neck?

Rekha:  It's my one...

Alex: Yeah, touch the neck, where his throat is.

Rekha:  I feel so sad, I don't want a kill count. I already have one and I don't want that.

Brennan: Yeah, for sure.

Rekha:  I touch Doug's neck.

Brennan: Okay.

Rekha:  I say,

Usha: A grandson.

Brennan: Oh! Go ahead and-

Ally: Your fingers flex and start working the mint out of his throat.

Brennan: Go ahead and give me a Wits check. Give me a difficulty six Wits check

Alex: Not the neck check?

Rekha:  15!

Brennan: 15. You tickle his neck and two mints come out.

Ally: (gasps)

Usha: I only gave you one!

Doug: It's like I've been choking on a mint my whole life. I'm not gonna die. I'm gonna fight! Because that's what love is. Love's not surrendering, love is doing whatever it takes to protect the people you care about!

Izzy: Aneurysm. (laughs)

Brennan: He looks around like he was waiting for the bullet to go through.

Doug: Okay. It could still happen at any moment.

Usha: No it can't! Because I used my one skill for you, and it would be so sad if you ended up dying immediately after I used-

Russell: Why are you choking him?

All: (laughing)

Russell: You actively kill him. (laughs)

Izzy: It was a Wits check! You can do the neck check.

Brennan: Yeah, you can still use-

Ally: Yeah, yeah.

Usha: Whatever you want, honey.

Rekha:  (laughing) If you wanna die.

Brennan: Doug, Lucy, and Johnny, they say like,

Johnny: I brought the SWAT van all the way from Los Angeles. It was kind of a fun road trip. And so we got a bunch of tech, so we can be man in the van for you if you need us to supply anything.

Jacob: Man in the van!

Izzy: Okay, but you have to be careful.

Johnny: Okay, I'll be super duper careful.

Brennan: So you have the Warrior Kings are security for Senator Kingskin. You have Johnny, Lucy, and Doug as your man in the van, the people running the tech in the sort of SWAT vehicle. And you see that Tony the Jaguar gets rid of the saddle, now just dressed full cowboy, like Texas oil tycoon.

Ally: Incredible.

Brennan: Hat, bolo tie. Let's not be silly. It's really hard for him to walk on two legs, so imagine a jaguar having a hard time hopping around on two legs.

Russell: This is our head donor.

Rekha:  Isn't he in a BabyBjörn on Jennifer's chest?

Ally: Yeah, but he has to be put down. Yes, he's been put down.

Jacob: He's escaped.

Ally: It was hard for me, honestly, on a personal level.

Brennan: With all that being said, what do you do next? Where do you go?

Ify: I guess we walk in.

Ally: Yeah. We walk in with confidence like we belong there.

Alex: To the White House?

Ally: Yeah.

Rekha:  I would like to go in through whatever entrance the chef goes in, the chef's entrance to the White House, the whatever, if there's like a back kitchen or something.

Brennan: Hell yeah.

Ally: Can we try to pickpocket some key cards?

Brennan: So I'll say this. Everyone, first of all, take your two Turbo Tokens for suit up, if you haven't already.

Rekha: I think I did.

Brennan: On one of the giant screens, you see President Slater Hancock once again.

Dave: My fellow Americans, I am so proud and excited to tell you that for once in America, we're done with the bullshit! We're gonna tighten it up here, okay? No more fucking around! Tomorrow I will be happy to announce over thirty brand new wars! Wars with places you've never even fucking heard about! And we're gonna do fifty the next day! And a fucking thousand the day after that! And it's gonna be sick. Sick, sick, sick forever! Forever! (growling rabidly)

Brennan: You see he unscrews something, downs it.

Dave: (breathing raggedly) And now I'm gonna tell you, you're not even gonna need to worry about the boys fighting over there 'cause I'm gonna fight 'em all myself! Single-handed!

Brennan: (television glitch) You see the vein in his neck goes bright green.

Dave: (growling) One-man army. President Slater Hancock!

Brennan: And you see as you approach the White House, the ground begins to rumble. (imitates a low rumbling) In the video on the screen, the president walks outta the Oval Office and leaps from the rose garden onto the roof of the White House. And now outside, you can see fucking President Hancock Dave as he goes,

Dave: (echoing) We fly!

Brennan: American flag bandana around his head, he draws a sword from a sheath on his back and the White House rumbles and takes off from the ground and you watch it begin to fly off into the sky as he rides it like a dragon rider. Two enormous wings covered in dirt and earth and sod and a flying massive jumbo jet White House with him on the top wielding a sword begins to circle around through the skies of Washington DC.

Izzy: He's just like Bill Pullman.

Brennan: (laughs) In this moment as the White House takes off, what do all of you do?

if:I look around and I see one of the cars driving by, and I just jump in, I pull Drips.

Wendell: Drips! In with me!

Ify: And we drive, and I'm driving and there just so happens to be-

Jacob: "There just so-" (laughs)

Ify: Just so happens to be one of those big trucks that move vehicles, but the bottom's down. So I use it as a ramp and go flying to try and land the car on the White House.

Brennan: Hell yes. Can we get an injury level check from everybody?

Ify: None for me.

Ally: Goose egg.

Rekha:  Superficial.

Brennan: Superficial? Okay, just one superficial here for Usha. Awesome. Go ahead and give me Drive 15.

Ify: 10.

Brennan: Oh, yes!

Ify: Mastery, baby. That's a 20!

Ally: That's a nat 20!

Brennan: No way!

Rekha: Get your ass up!

Brennan: Put the clock on. Put the clock on.

Ally & Rekha: Ify! Ify! Ify! Ify!

Izzy: No! It happened again!

Ify: So as soon as he gets on the top, suddenly in all of your souls, your person, your body, you feel that Barsimmeon Higgs made it out of the video somehow. When the tags exploded, Barsimmeon Higgs made it. And landing in there, he looks, there's a button that Wendell's head hits and it sends a missile flying. And we cut to a country far away where there's a person who's like, "I am glad I've made my white supremacist super soldiers. There's 250 million of yours," and the missile explodes killing 250 million white supremacist super soldiers.

Ally: Eight seconds.

Ify: By Wendell did himself. And then Adrenanoxinil falls out of the glove compartment.

Ally: Yep! Yep!

Ify: Three bottles.

Rekha:  Three?!

Ally: Yes!

All: (clapping)

Brennan: Unbelievable! Unbelievable!

Jacob: Just to be clear, you just gave yourself 250 mil?

Ify: Yes I did! (laughing)

Alex: That's my president.

Ify: Yes I did!

Rekha:  Ify used his DM to kill a white supremacist.

Brennan: Cool!

Alex: That is my president.

Brennan: Okay, you fire a missile-

Ally: That's my president.

Brennan: And kill 10% of the human population of the earth during this time.

Ify: (laughing)

Izzy: A lot of the population was white supremacists.

Brennan: And he got 'em!

Rekha:  And that's true!

Brennan: Hey, GM! That's GM.

Ally: That's canon.

Brennan: Yeah.

Rekha: I'm gonna throw up.

Izzy: Who secretly dies?

Brennan: Unbelievable.

Rekha:  Oh, oh yeah! Some celeb you don't expect.

Ify: (laughing)

Brennan: But you also feel that Barsimmeon is ejected from "Never Stop Blowing Up." With Barsimmeon now on the outside of the VHS alive once more, and also, so three bottles fall out of the glove compartment.

Rekha:  Why three?!

Brennan: Perfect. Three.

Ify: I didn't wanna go too crazy. I killed 250 million people.

Brennan: So you should have three. Pass the other three to me, please. So these three come home to me.

Izzy: What if it's Ify every single time?

Ify: (laughing)

Ally: Yeah. That'd be incredible.

Brennan: Unbelievable.

Ally: In-fucking-credible.

Rekha:  Honestly, let's try.

Ify: (laughing)

Brennan: So you see that the White House flying through swivels around. You jump, car sailing through the air. You drive so well that Barsimmeon comes back to life in the real world. That's how good you are at fucking driving.

Rekha: (laughing)

Brennan: The three bottles fall out. You launch a missile, kill 250 million. The modern day population of the United States-

Jacob: I'm so legitimately pissed off.

Ally & Ify: (laughing)

Jacob: We're working on it. We're working on it, kids!

Izzy: Jacob's like, "All 8 billion people..."

Jacob: It was very good, but I'm also mad, and it could be both. It's allowed to be both.

Ally: Two things can be true at once.

Jacob: Yeah, yeah.

Brennan: Okay. As it turns, I'm gonna say that as the White House is turning, because it's now banking down, you land on the back wall and are driving along the wall as it starts to nose down, going in your car along the side. And you look around, this place is filled with mercenaries, soldiers of fortune, law enforcement, Santo Patron, every fucking faction in the world all has its Shadow Falcon contingent in the White House right now.

Alex: So none of those people or Dave were white supremacists?

Brennan: They all were, but they weren't in the place-

Rekha:  No, they all are! Don't worry!

Alex: (laughing)

Rekha:  Usha thinks we need some backup.

Brennan: Yeah.

Rekha:  Long ago, she planted a tracker/communication device on a Sidewinder. She would like to call- It's daytime, right? They're not practicing.

Brennan: Yeah.

Rekha:  She would like to call the army of Sidewinders and backflippers to come and help us win.

Brennan: And we're gonna call this a Hot 12.

Izzy: I hope there are a bunch of trampolines underneath the White House.

Alex: I hope they have to take a charter plane.

Rekha:  Okay, I got a one.

Brennan: Okay.

Rekha:  I'm gonna max that.

Ally: Yes!

Brennan: Boom!

Rekha:  So I blow up.

Brennan: Now you gotta roll a three on a d10.

Rekha:  Okay, that's a one.

Brennan: But you have some other The One's abilities left.

Rekha:  Exactly. Including...

Ally: You can use another ability. So you could roll a 20.

Rekha:  I could roll a 20.

Brennan: Hell yeah.

Ally: Or you could take five tokens if you accept a fail.

Rekha:  Wait, I have a bunch of tokens.

Brennan: Oh no, so what did I say? I said 12?

Rekha:  12.

Brennan: So yeah, just spend one.

Rekha:  One? Okay. Oh, yeah! Because I have the thing that's two tokens is one when I'm trying to do an ability check.

Brennan: Okay. Yeah, you're good.

Rekha:  Okay.

Brennan: Cool, you get on the phone and you hear,

Clete: Hello, this is Professor Gunshoot.

Usha: Hello, young man. I need all your gymnastic martial artists to report to Washington DC S-T-A-T.

Clete: Oh, stop?

Usha: S-T-A-T as in Thomas. S as in Sam, T as in Thomas.

Clete: Ah, well, I'll start the phone tree and we'll get there as soon as we can.

Usha: And just so you're aware, we are trying to get the president and kill- K-asterisk-L-L him.

Brennan: You feel a tap on your shoulder. The Sidewinders are all right here.

Clete: We've gotten faster at backflipping!

Usha: Incredible!

Brennan: You see a line of fire stretching across the continental United States. In seconds they were here.

Alex: That's what Hands Across America wish it was.

All: (laughing)

Rekha:  Fucking wimps! Fucking losers!

Brennan: Incredible. Backflippers are here. You see that Reggie goes,

Reggie: All right, Sidewinders! This is what we've been training eight months for!

Rekha:  Eight months?

Reggie: Flip to the White House and kill everybody!

Brennan: And you see they all flip through the air and smash through windows and begin to martial art fight all of the Shadow Falcons inside of the White House.

Ally: Wow.

Izzy: I wanna find an autobody shop or like construction site or something and find one of those big hooks and whip it around.

Ally: Ooh! Operate a crane!

Izzy: Or just find a way to hook the White House so we can climb up.

Brennan: Oh, sick. Okay. Go ahead, give me, this is gonna be Weapons and the difficulty is gonna be 13.

Izzy: Okay. 13.

Brennan: Oh my god. Jack Manhattan, you in a clean A-frame undershirt, there's a line of like sixty cars and you skid on your butt across every single hood, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, skipping like a stone on water and land in the sort of the cabin of a massive crane in a construction project just outside of the White House. Whipping the crane around this like wrecking ball, the kind of chain they have a wrecking ball on, there's a massive hook for snagging and lifting massive construction projects, and you, bam, catch the back column of the White House. And you see that it is now straining against this crane and there is this huge long bridge of chain leading from the top of the crane, providing a ground to White House bridge for anyone that wants to use it.

Paula: Who wants to hop on my back?

Usha: I will! Us oldies gotta stick together, girl!

Paula: She's doing it on purpose now.

All: (laughing)

Brennan: Awesome. What else we got going on here?

Jacob: I'll go up the old crane bridge.

Brennan: Great. You start to streak up the crane bridge. As you arrive, the back portico is filled with people. You see that there are a ton of super soldiers that all have those sort of carabiner repelling ropes. As the orientation of the

White House shifts radically, all of them are secured to columns with suction boots on the back portico, opening fire as you run up the chain towards them.

Izzy: Suction boots. (laughs)

Brennan: As you arrive, is there an action you wanna take as you arrive at the portico?

Jacob: Sorry, I'm thinking about this too much.

Ify: (laughing)

Rekha:  You're hurt. You're hurt.

Ally: You're like, "How do I kill 250 million people?”

Brennan: Just start rolling d20s! That's all you gotta do, is start rolling d20s.

Jacob: I just grit and barrel through it and keep running to gain more ground.

Brennan: Hell yeah, give me Tough. Difficulty for that is gonna be 12.

Jacob: Okay. Ooh, that's a nine, and I'll just get it to 12.

Brennan: Cool. You just avoid all of the ammunition as you charge into the White House, skidding into the door, crashing through a glass window. Bullets whizzing past you, you streak into the White House and are hidden from view. I think we're left with Russell and Liv.

Alex: So it's a crane bridge to the White House?

Brennan: Crane bridge to the White House.

Alex: Steven has a briefcase that he bought on his suit up journey and he just calmly walks up the bridge with his briefcase.

Rekha:  Going to work! Yeah!

Ally: What a drag!

Brennan: Great. Go ahead and give me Hot. Give me Hot 16.

Alex: Okay.

Brennan: As the Warrior Kings fall in behind you.

Ally: We should all have to act like NPCs when it's not our turn.

Alex: It's just a seven.

Brennan: Okay. Take two Turbo Tokens. So there's a 45 degree angle, 200 foot length of chain that you and the four Warrior Kings walk up. You get to the White House, people are firing. Greg Stocks has disappeared. Jack Manhattan is below. Wendell is driving a car over the walls of the White House as it's flying. And you see that one of the Warrior Kings says, "Uh, Senator Skin coming to work!" And you see one of the guys goes, "Senators don't work at the White House! It's a fib!"

Brennan: (imitates automatic gunfire)

Alex: I use the briefcase to block it.

Izzy: That's true!

Alex: Fuck!

Brennan: Unbelievable. G13's called the backflippers. Russell?

Ally: We're going around the back wall of the White House, correct?

Brennan: Mm-hmm.

Ally: I wanna barrel roll out into the pandemonium of everything.

Brennan: Yeah.

Ally: Do I see Jude?

Brennan: Do you see St. Jude anywhere? No, you do not.

Ally: Okay.

Ify: I will say, as you barrel roll out, I'm like,

Wendell: Drips!

Ally: Okay, great. I tuck this away. And then I guess I just want to Brawl.

Brennan: Okay, go for it.

Ally: I want to get up closer to Dave.

Brennan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go for it.

Ally: Real close.

Ify: Yeah, I know.

Ally: That's a 15 though.

Brennan: 15 Brawl? Dave subtracts five from that and then rolled a 19. So you leap to the roof to Brawl with Dave. And as you punch Dave, you sink a fist through the side of his skull and crush his brain. (squish impact) And as it does, you see, (imitates deep gasping) you pull it out and you watch the tape rewind and he goes,

Dave: Nah uh-uh.

Russell: You're a time lord.

Brennan: Give me a Tough check.

Ally: Okay.

Jacob: Time lord.

Ally: (exhales) Three.

Brennan: He explodes. On a 28, you are gonna take an injury level. He slashes at you with a sword. Whatever he did there in that moment, you see that there is some wild piece of… Give me Wits 10.

Ally: Okay. That is a nine and I'll make it a 10.

Brennan: Make it 10. You look at him. Without touching a bottle at all, he (deeply gasps) The veins go green in his neck again. You sense that on a Wits 10 check, he is remotely introducing Adrenanoxinil into his body somehow. You can't quite be sure. But as you're looking at him, you are almost positive that his MacGuffin is not on his person. And you wonder if there is a way that he has to introduce Adrenanoxinil directly into his MacGuffin. And something about that registers a reminder. There's something in you that goes, "There's something here."

Ally: I go over the radio and I let everyone know that that's maybe a possibility for power.

Brennan: Yeah.

Ify: Upon hearing that, I wanna do a Wits check to try and remember what Dave was holding when he got sucked in.

Brennan: Hell yeah.

Alex: Oh.

Ify: That's a blow up. That's a 10.

Brennan: (imitates an explosion)

Rekha:  If Ify does it again, I will throw up.

Brennan: D12.

Ify: That's a one, but I will blow that up again.

Ally: Yes!

Brennan: Double blow up and double the tokens in your… Unbelievable.

Ify: Oh, yeah, that's just two. So four.