Fawnstep writhed in pain as Rigormortis pulled on his arm, crying out in a high-pitched wail that came from somewhere deep inside him that had never seen the light of day. Then with a sickening pop, the pain eased tremendously and immediately. He sagged against the ground breathing rapidly and shallowly, his eyes glazing over as his body flooded with heat.

"I'm okay," he panted, even though he certainly didn't feel like he was. His attacker had hurt him, but not badly enough that his life was at risk. Not immediately, anyway. He sat up with Rigormortis's help and looked in dismay at the injuries to his arm, felt the sting of the scratches on his flank and back. His shoulder had gotten the worst of it, and though it was a dangerous wound to have in the long term, he wouldn't exactly keel over in the next few hours from it.

His gaze flicked up to meet Rigormortis's, then to the heap of bloody feathers that lay several body-lengths away from him in the grass. He could smell its scent, musty and heady, the blood fresh and hot. Even the thought of doing something so horrible filled him with horror and he forced himself to look away.

"I can't," he rasped, his voice weak. "I'm sure the eggs will be here soon, I can lay them and...and I can find food for both of us."

Rigormortis sighed forlornly. He knew Fawnstep wouldn’t want to consume the utahraptor, but he had to. They wouldn’t have the energy to hunt or move, and they needed to survive long enough for their eggs to hatch so they could take their young to a more prosperous area so they would grow properly. He watched his mate slump to the floor and turned to look at the corpse. They couldn’t afford to leave it. “I….I’m sorry, Fawn…but…you have to. There’s nothing for us here, and you know that. We will starve, our babies won’t survive if we don’t,” he reasoned. “I can prepare it for you….you don’t even have to look, just close your eyes and swallow,”

He was trying his best to make this work, and he knew if they didn’t eat this they wouldn’t last another two weeks, let alone the month it would take for their eggs to incubate. Rigormortis couldn’t allow that. “You won’t even have the energy to lay them if you don’t eat… please, Fawn…you have to. I’m sorry, but you have to eat.” He pleaded, lowering down to his level to better get his point across, how dire and desperate their situation was.

He heard Rigormortis's words and he knew how right his mate was, but this was the *one* line that he did NOT cross. He had never even considered it, not once in his life. His mother had been a prolific hunter, but she never once brought back another dinosaur for her hatchlings to eat, so why couldn't he be the same? They'd raised their first clutch without having to resort to such drastic measures, why couldn't they now?

Fawnstep knew the answer to that, he was no fool, but he couldn't even think to do it, it was too appalling. But hearing Rigormortis, his Red, his strength and his love, *begging* him to eat...it was all too much. He saw the wide open, wailing mouths of his hatchlings, begging for food that he could not give them, and his heart broke.

"I can't, Red," he whispered, his voice breaking as he leaned his brow against his mate's head. "What if...what if I start looking at every other dinosaur we come across as food? What kind of monster would that make me...?"

A sharp, painful sting of hurt lashed across Rigormortis’ mind as he heard his mate’s words. Monster? Is that what he was? For surviving? Eating what he could because otherwise he would starve? Does his mate, his beloved fern, does he think Rigormortis is a monster? Does he not fear what a monster would do to their offspring?

Stepping away from Fern, he ducked his head shamefully. “….Monster?” He asked quietly. “Do you- do you think I’m a monster, fern?” He whispered, more upset than he ever remembers having been.

What? No, of course he didn't think Rigormortis was a monster, what kind of question was...that? Well he'd only just said it hadn't he?

He let out a distressed sound, somewhere between a cry and a chirp as he realized what he'd said, what he'd implied without meaning. His love had survived the only way he knew how, he hadn't been lucky like Fawnstep to be able to subsist on rats and lizards.

"No Red," he rasped, "I don't think you're a monster, I never have." It was the truth, even when Rigormortis was actively hunting him, Fawnstep had seen it more as a rather frightening inconvenience than anything else. "I never wanted to think about what could make someone...do that. Eat one of our own."

He glanced in the direction of the mess of bloody feathers and felt his stomach churn again, but this time it also growled with hunger. He didn't want this, he didn't want this at all, but he didn't have the privilege of being picky anymore. If he didn't eat, his body would kill him trying to finish making their eggs, or it would expel the eggs before they were ready and they would never hatch. Would he ever have the strength to try again? What if this was the last clutch they ever had...?

Fawnstep closed his eyes and tried to stand. His shoulder throbbed painfully, but once it was clear of the ground, his arm hung loosely but without the same jarring pain it had once had. Blood still seeped from the wounds, dripping from his claws onto the dirt where it sank readily into the dry earth.

"I'm sorry, Red," he murmured, his gaze downcast. "I love you, and I'm sorry..." He walked over to the body, painfully aware of every scratch on his hide, and looked down at it. It was a utahraptor, he'd seen these before running around in packs. They were prolific hunters, but this one looked worse for wear. His feathers were dull and dirty, his lips dry and cracked, he must have been starving to try taking on a cryo on his own. Then again, with the state of Fawnstep, the utahraptor probably thought he would have made for an easy meal. Without Rigormortis, he would have.

The young cryo lowered himself and took a mouthful of feathers, pulling them free from the body and spitting them out. He repeated this until there was enough of the leg skin showing that he could take a bite. He stared at the pink skin, his heart beating too fast and too hard in his chest. The world seemed to spin around him and he closed his eyes, giving his head a disgusted shake. He had to do this! He had no choice...

Forgive me in your starry home, he thought as his mouth flooded with saliva. Look down on me not with disgust, I beg you, but understanding that I could do nothing else. He bit into the still-warm body, shaking his head to pull the bite free, and swallowed it. It felt heavy as it slid down his throat into his stomach, but once it was there, he couldn't stop himself. He ate until his stomach was full, until he nearly vomited. Then he retreated from the body, wanting to go to Rigormortis for comfort, but feeling he didn't deserve it for what he had said to his mate. So he walked away toward a tree and laid beneath it, whimpering in pain as he folded his arm beneath him.

Rigormortis could tell that Fawnstep was going through an intense internal conflict, his face and actions showing just how stressed out he was. He knew now, after reassurances, that his mate did not fear him, did not consider him to be a monster, but still he worried. Worried that maybe one day that would change, and he would be left alone once again. He couldn’t…no, wouldn’t survive that. He would sooner perish than be alone again after getting a taste of what it was like to be loved, cherished.

His heart swelled with love, and equal parts sympathy, as he watched Fawnstep struggle over to the mangled carcass, and held his breath as his mate plucked the feathers to consume the flesh of the other dinosaur. He sighed a great big sigh of relief, his stress waning physically as he finally saw his mate eat. Once he had finished his meal- and rigor was glad he kept eating until he couldn’t anymore- he walked away, hiding under a tree. Rigormortis looked at the carcass, and quickly ate his fill, knowing he would need to be energised to take care of his mate and their clutch.

Approaching Fawnstep, he chuffed a soft greeting, licking the blood and feathers from his face and nuzzling him lovingly, before turning around in a circle to settle down next to him, sharing his warmth with the smaller Cryo. “I love you, too, Fawn….thank you for doing that for me, for our babies. I’m so proud of you.”