Autumn in Hieron 07: Boat Party?
Transcriptor: vale! [0:00:00—0:39:00] and Brigid @woodlandmists/brighty#2727 [39:00-1:06:04]
Previously, on Friends at the Table...
AUSTIN: At this point, Hella has already gone and returned from Ordenna, Lem has been dodging the archivists who were after him for stealing that violin; and finally, you know, Fero, I think, has just kinda been, milling about, thinking about nature, your place in it...
[Autumn Not Winter by Jack de Quidt starts playing]
You find each other in the pub that Lem hid out in, and you spend the last couple of hours, let’s say, chatting with an elven man, named Gregalos.
AUSTIN (as GREGALOS): Do any of you know the way to Rosemarrow?
he says.
There’s, there’s something I’m interested in. Another book.
KEITH (as FERO): Buddy, how’s your ship?
AUSTIN (as drunk CAPTAIN CALHOUN): Ah, it’s- ah, it’s good, you know. Patch it up, you know, bounce off a couple rocks, everything’s good. Everything’s good now.
KEITH (as FERO): Can you- can we take a low- I just wanna do, like a- like, can we take a look at it?
AUSTIN (as excited drunk CAPTAIN CALHOUN): Yeah, boat party!
[LAUGHTER AND CROSSTALK]
KEITH: Boat party! We’re gonna have a fucking boat party with Calhoun, what’s up-
AUSTIN: He waves his hand at the people in the pub, like to follow him, and your group goes to - with you to the boat. To his boat.
KEITH (as FERO): Calhoun! Boat party!
AUSTIN (as CAPTAIN CALHOUN): Boat party! Whoo!
KEITH (as FERO): Boat party!
AUSTIN: He does a little spin with his finger, and you realize quickly that like, the way he says “boat party” communicates more than you thought; like, this time when he says it, some people swing into action.
KEITH [LAUGHING]: Okay, undead pirates, fuck boats. [JACK LAUGHS] I said, no boats.
[MUSIC ENDS]
AUSTIN: What’s worse is now you have a choice. You could pilot the ship into the craggy nose of this continent. Or, you could try to straighten it out and regain control but that’ll put you right in the line of Brandish’s boat.
KEITH: Uhm-
JACK: I think this should be up to Hella.
KEITH: I think that, should be up to me-
JACK [IMMEDIATELY]: Of course you do, Fero.
AUSTIN: You always do.
KEITH: Because I said no boats, and you did boats; we’re not crashing- we’re not gonna intentionally crash our boat.
AUSTIN [INTERRUPTING]: Let’s pick a better- I should’ve- I should’ve painted a better picture, we should- this is, this was a good characterization opportunity that I just realize I missed.
One of the things that’s nice about this is that, like, we get to see Lem, Hella, and Fero in different spots while this happens. So, this is happening and Hella definitely has the vision of it. She’s the one who knows exactly what’s going to happen first, is the scout up in the crow’s nest with her spyglass. I imagine Lem is like, in the kind of captain’s quarters, like, as depicted in fiction in, you know, movies and games. It’s kind of like, crowded area with big - with a big table, with a map and just like weird, you know-
KEITH: You see like, a protractor thing-
AUSTIN: Yeah, it’s a protractor up in the - it’s just like the room, is just - is just lush and old in, like, a bad way, like a little too musty and a little too, just like - this is the room of a man who’s been on many adventures and taken many things, and doesn’t really care about them but knows he has to hold on to trophies anyway. And so there’s, just like, very strange artifacts here. Like, the Archives would love this room, except that it’s not been taken care of very well. But - in my mind, Lem, you’ve been - because you’re the quartermaster, you’ve been stuck underdeck. Like-
KEITH: I’m the quartermaster,
AUSTIN: Right - I’m sorry, I said Lem - fuck! Every game, I’m gonna forg- I’m gonna mess it up, god damn, Fero!
KEITH [OVER AUSTIN)]: Every- yeah you’ve done it a couple times already, too… I do seem like a Lem, I’ll give you that- yeah-
AUSTIN [OVER KEITH]: You seem like a Lem! Fero! You are under deck, and are - have been, you know, cooking food and attending to people and mixing drinks. You’re kind of in this-
KEITH: And they’re loving it-
AUSTIN: They’re loving it, and that’s when the waves start to hit, so you actually don’t really have much of a clear idea what’s going on above deck. You just-
KEITH: No, but I freak out-
AUSTIN: But the - you - but you’re not there. Wait, who’s been drawing on this map with big green marks?
ALI [SHEEPISH]: That was me, I don’t know how to get rid of it, it’s okay…
AUSTIN: Okay. Okay. I can actually just - I guess I can’t just do, like, a clear - anyway!
JACK: Wow, Ali, that’s big and green.
ALI [LAUGHING]]: I don’t know what I did.
KEITH: No when - as when I feel the wave, I mean-
AUSTIN: But you just - so you’ve been feeling those, the waves have been coming, is what I’m saying, for quite some time, like, there isn’t a-
KEITH: There isn’t, like, a big one - big last one?
AUSTIN: It’s - it’s coming - you kind of have to have gotten used to it. This is what I’m saying is, there will be a big last one, depending on what you decide to do here. I think Ali is the one who has - Ali, or, theoretically, Lem, if he comes out of that room. Like, it’s one of the two. It has to be one of the two, or the two in concert; only because Fero, you’re under deck, dealing with people, right. Part of being a quartermaster is also just, like, you have to hope that people are not, like, fighting. When things start to get bad, you’re in charge of keeping them calm, you know.
KEITH: Yeah…
JACK: Okay, so… [PAUSE] I’d like to defer to Hella here, but I think that a lot of that is out of my own confusion and cowardice and embarrassment rather than any sort of noble, like, “Hey, this pirate king’s your business!”. So I think to an extent, I’m just sort of trying to find another Hadrian to hide behind...
ALI [LAUGHING]: So I…
JACK: So - sorry, very briefly, could I roll to discern realities first?
AUSTIN: How are you doing that? Like, what are you trying to discern? How are you doing your discerning?
JACK: I don’t know, I think I’m… [PAUSE] I think I’m peering - I’m shading my eyes and peering out at the oncoming - the oncoming boats. I’ve snapped open a, uh, velcro - I like to think that velcro exists in this world, I don’t know why, I like to think that that’s a thing the archivists would’ve put research into.
AUSTIN [LAUGHING]: Yeah, sure. If not them, then somebody before the Erasure. Right, like, maybe finding velcro, maybe that’s one of those great examples of like, “We found this thing, and it’s amazing. We can do this. This isn’t that hard. We can do this,”
JACK: “This makes pockets really easy!”. So I snap open a velcro - a velcro pocket, and I throw some powders into the - into the ocean, and watch them foam up around the waves. And I’m gonna roll “Discern Realities” to try and answer some questions about them - the pirates, and about these waves in particular.
AUSTIN: Are you - are you using… Is it like a piece of adventuring gear for you? Do you have adventuring gear?
JACK: … No, I don’t. So I guess I can’t do this…
AUSTIN: That’s a sha - Or you can-
KEITH: Do you just, invent powders-
AUSTIN: Yeah, like, “Oh, I have this weird powder that can help me read the waves,” like, sure that can be a part of - yeah-
JACK: I don’t think it’s a “read the waves” thing; I think it’s a - from the perspective of the Archivists, it’s, like, litmus paper? You know? It’s like a chemical thing that we can do to detect the -
AUSTIN [OVER JACK]: It’s not their - then, you just do it - I was gonna - I was saying that it could be a part of your adventuring gear, because then you could mark down that that’s a thing you have. But because you don’t have adventuring gear, you don’t - which is - all it’s going to mean is you’re just not gonna - give you a benefit to this roll, do you know what I mean? That’s fine, just make the roll playing…
JACK: So, discern realities is plus… what’s discern realities?
AUSTIN: Wis.
KEITH: Wisdom.
[SILENCE, CLICKING NOISES]
JACK: Nine.
AUSTIN: Okay, so you get to ask one question.
JACK: … I’d like to ask, “What here is not what it appears to be?”
[SILENCE, SOME CLICKING NOISES, AUSTIN SIGHS]
JACK: I guess no - nothing is a fair answer…
AUSTIN: It is! A fair answer, I’m just trying to decide - I’m trying to be as fair as possible, and make sure there isn’t something that… you’ve missed… [PAUSE] I don’t think there’s any - I mean, no, nothing- nothing here is not what it seems to appear to be. Nothing here is - yeah, not what it seems to appear to be. Everything is what it seems to be.
JACK: Alright. Hella. Go wild.
[ALI LAUGHS]
ALI: … Gosh, this is tough…
AUSTIN: I feel like this… so what do you want to do?
KEITH: I know what I want to do-
AUSTIN: You’re down - you’re under deck,
KEITH [LAUGHING]: I know,
ALI: We… have I killed this guy? I should know that right?
AUSTIN: Yeah, I don’t know, have you?
ALI [LAUGHING]: Sure...
AUSTIN: I mean, you stabbed him, is what I’m saying. You did - you know you beat him in combat, but-
ALI: Okay. Okay. I think that he’s dead…
AUSTIN: Okay. You think that he’s dead. Sure.
KEITH: He’s dead he’s an undead pirate- [SHUSHING NOISES, LAUGHS]
AUSTIN: Okay. [ALI LAUGHS] A thing I like about this game is, when I wrote these notes, he was a living pirate king but now he’s definitely an undead pirate king.
[LAUGHTER]
JACK: Yeah-
ALI: Thanks, Keith.
KEITH: You’re welcome
ALI: Thank you - but like -
KEITH: You’re welcome!
ALI: So I think that I killed him, and I just think that this is, like, his crew that wants revenge.
AUSTIN: You have a spy - you have that spyglass, right? Hm…
KEITH: Aw man, if you see shambling corpses on the deck - Aw, man...
AUSTIN: No, they’re not - they’re super not shambling, is the thing. They’re moving with just, like, a speed and precision of a well practiced machine. It’s just that they don’t - they don’t have-
KEITH [INTERRUPTING]: When I said shambling, I don’t mean - I don’t mean that they’re, like, walking slow and not - I mean - I mean, like, you can see their bones moving around-
AUSTIN [TRYING TO SPEAK OVER HIM]: Right. Yes. Yes, that’s the thing she can see. With like-
KEITH [INTERRUPTING]: Yeah - Awh, what if he woke up and killed his crew, and then they were all also undead pirates -
AUSTIN [INTERRUPTING]: Yeah, weird. That’d be weird- be weird if that happened, huh?
KEITH: Yeah. That’d be weird if that happened-
AUSTIN [ABRUPTLY]: Keith, you should stop talking.
[KEITH LAUGHS, HALF CACKLING]
ALI [LAUGHING]: As Austin frantically types-
AUSTIN: Yeah, as Austin frantically changes what this encounter is -
KEITH [LAUGHING]: It’s okay, it’s okay, that’s what -
ALI [LAUGHING]: You’re the one screwing us -
JACK: Austin just selected all his tags and deleted them -
AUSTIN [LAUGHING]: Right? No, no, no, so, yeah - but, yeah, if you look - I guess, here’s the thing… I feel like there’s a moment now when you could make a decision before knowing the - knowing whether or not these are undead pirates-
JACK: The problem is, we know they’re undead pirates-
AUSTIN: We know they’re undead pirates but Hella, at this moment, doesn’t.
ALI: Well no, because I-
JACK [WHISPERING]: Hella, they’re undead pirates-
ALI: I see them coming, I guess I didn’t see their flag before I looked-
AUSTIN: Yeah, you identify their flag and have that moment to make a decision about whether or not you want to, kind of, go ashore-
KEITH: Crash the-
AUSTIN: Crash the boat-
KEITH: Crash a boat - crash, not your boat-
AUSTIN [LAUGHING]: Crash Calhoun’s boat
ALI: [SMALL NOISES OF PROTEST]... Calhoun’s going to be alright. I don’t know, because my instinct, as Hella, is to be, like, “ I took these guys once before, it’ll be alright”
KEITH: Yeah, you’re damn right-
AUSTIN: Yeah - alright, alright-
KEITH: Yeah!
AUSTIN: So that’s the decision you make, then, and-
JACK [OVER CROSSTALK]: Oh my god, wait a second-
AUSTIN: Uh-huh?
JACK: Hella. Could - what does your evil thing do?
ALI: Uhm, I kill a defenseless or surrendered enemy.
JACK: How do we feel about… theft? Because I’m pro theft…
ALI: I’m fine with that-
KEITH: I’m - I’m - I am pro theft in certain situations…
JACK: All I’m saying here is, if there’s the possibility of a red-sailed boat called “The Kingdom Come”, and we live on an island…
ALI: Oh, I was definitely planning on leaving them - the boat party, behind; I’m finding this very annoying.
[AUSTIN LAUGHS]
JACK: So, I would like to communicate to Hella, before we begin these maneuvers, that if there’s any chance that we could maybe steal their boat, that would, perhaps be advantageous.
ALI: No, yeah, that’s the plan. Don’t worry about it.
JACK: Cool - good - What I’m saying is [KEITH TRIES TO INTERJECT] - don’t make a plan that involves smashing into the side of their boat-
ALI: No-
JACK: Because none of us know how to fix a boat, I don’t think.
KEITH: No, it was either - the plan was either to smash into the rock or to - steady the boat but put ourselves in danger of being boarded by a pirate king.
[CROSSTALK, GENERAL ASSENT]
AUSTIN: So, you - it sounds like you’re gonna take these - how do you tell Calhoun this? How do you tell Calhoun to take the pirates on - head on? [JACK LAUGHS] Calhoun is definitely - hmm, is Calhoun hungover? Or is he already back in the bottle?
KEITH: Or is he fine?
AUSTIN [IMMEDIATELY]: No, he’s definitely not fine [ALI LAUGHS]
JACK [LAUGHING]: God damn it -
KEITH: He could be fine - we’ve been on the road for three days - he’s a very responsible captain.
AUSTIN [OVER KEITH]: Nah he’s super - Nope - No, you’ve never communicated that about him.
KEITH: Maybe he’s a … good fighter when he's drunk.
AUSTIN: I mean, that might be true. But like, once you [KEITH INTERRUPTS] - but, so, Hella how do you communicate to - to Calhoun what, like, to take these pirates head on?
ALI: Well - well, I just say to him, to like, stick to the route, right?
AUSTIN: Okay.
ALI: Instead of going to the side-
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ALI: Like, I just gesture and yell at him to, like, “no, keep going”.
AUSTIN: And you know what, Calhoun was also there when you guys took on those pirates the first time. He was the one who piloted that ship that they stole back. The ship that you’re on now. This was the ship that you stole back from Brandish the pirate king.
ALI: Yeah - We need Calhoun to look at this, in his own way.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Okay
KEITH: Hey, have I - have I decided to come up from - underneath yet?
AUSTIN: At this point - at this point, I think Calhoun puts the call out, do you know what I mean?
KEITH: Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah -
AUSTIN: He goes - he, like, [SLAPPING NOISE] slams his fist into his hand and goes -
AUSTIN (as CALHOUN): [SLAPPING NOISE] Boat party!
AUSTIN: And everyone knows -
[ALI AND JACK LAUGH]
KEITH [LAUGHING]: Yeah, what’s up,
AUSTIN: What that means. Oh, boy, this is a good party boat episode...
KEITH [QUIETLY]: This is a good party boat episode…
AUSTIN: So… Let’s think, how does this play out? The - the Kingdom Come slides into view. It’s a - it’s a gorgeous ship, right? It’s - it’s probably a bigger ship than this one, this is, like, the king vessel, right. This is - this is the ship that Brandish calls his own - kind of, his home boat, so I’m going to say, probably about twice as big as your smaller boat? But your smaller boat is a lot more maneuverable. Are there cannons in this world?
JACK: Canon.
KEITH: I was thinking that earlier, and I’m - I’m not sure, I don’t know.
ALI: I think that - [LAUGH] I think in this moment, we’re just going to say no, to - to be safe -
AUSTIN: No - but that means you guys also don’t have cannons, do you know what I mean -
JACK: I think that - I think that there super are cannons.
AUSTIN: Yeah?
ALI: There’s gotta be. There probably - well, no, I mean -
[CROSSTALKING]
KEITH: I don’t think there’s cannons ‘cause there’s - there’s -
JACK: Look, we’ve got an undead pirate. What does an undead pirate fight with? Just, like, angry words?
ALI: But is anyone using, like -
KEITH: No, they board each other’s ships and have, fucking, sword fights.
ALI: But - okay - so my question is, is any - is anyone using, like, firepower? And metal that sparingly that they would still use their cannon?
AUSTIN: Right, that’s a good question -
JACK: That’s true -
AUSTIN: Well. There’s these two questions - there’s two things there, right? So, like - and this, like, the weird thing about - about a post-apocalyptic - a post-apocalypse. One, we know that Ordenna makes metal stuff, right, like - Ordenna is super powerful as a - [KEITH INTERRUPTS] as a mining nation - as a metal nation. But two - and two - so, the thing with the post-post-apocalypse - or the post apocalypse in general is, like, one one hand, people aren’t making new stuff. On the other hand, there are way less people than there used to be. So that means that, like, if you go to a fort, you’re going to find thousands of cannonballs that the fort might go through in a year but you could use for the rest of your life. Do you know what I mean?
ALI: Right, okay -
[TIMESTAMP 15:00]
AUSTIN: So, I’m not sure. Is that - so, I - I guess that’s the - so, there’s two question -
KEITH: May - maybe, there are cannons and we don’t have cannons.
AUSTIN: But - if there’s cannons, Brandish would have cannons. Is what I’m saying, right, like, [ALI: Yeah…] Brandish, the pirate king - [LAUGHS] if there were ever boats with cannons, the person who would have it [JACK LAUGHS], as, like, a move, would be Brandish the pirate king.
JACK: His name is conceivably, “Getting-Cannons-Ready”, the pirate king.
[ALI LAUGHS]
AUSTIN [LAUGHING]: Right -right, yeah -
ALI: Do we want to say, for sure, that Calhoun doesn’t?
AUSTIN: I don’t know -
KEITH: No -
JACK: We maybe have a couple of cannons?
KEITH: I think it would be - I think it would not be, a smart idea to say we don’t have cannons and they have hella cannons -
ALI: Uhm, Hella cannons is my nickname -
KEITH: Hecka cannons, sorry Hella -
[LAUGHTER]
AUSTIN: Ah, that’s really good. That’s really good... [PAUSE, CLICKING NOISES] So, yes, there are, let’s say, a couple of cannons on this ship… and… Brandish’s probably has 3 per side? Let’s say you have 1 per side and - and maybe a - a kind of, front facing one.
ALI: Okay -
AUSTIN: Or maybe they’re like - maybe you have, like, those, like, guns, like the ship guns that can be targeted a little bit more easily, you know what I mean?
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: I think that makes some - some degree of sense, right? [KEITH: Mh-hm] Okay -
KEITH: How about - how about they have 3 and then we have a bolo cannon?
ALI: A - what?
AUSTIN: That’s like a boat - that’s, like, a thing you use that shoots, like, a - a shot with chains -
KEITH: It’s two cannonballs - yeah, tied together and it’s - you turn it to masts and shit-
AUSTIN: That’s just a - like, you have different - you would just have that ammo, right? Like -
KEITH: I don’t know if there’s different types of cannons. But, yeah.
JACK: Cannons at the table -
AUSTIN: Cannons are at the table.
JACK: A podcast provided by StreamFriends and RunButton.
AUSTIN: Alright -
JACK: Like, comment, subscribe.
AUSTIN: So, I think that we have to invent some moves for this, which is a thing that you can do. This is one of the reasons I like Dungeon World a whole bunch, is that all of the - all of the Powered by the Apocalypse, quote-on-quote, games - all of the hacks of the original Apocalypse World, because, you know, part of what - the way these games work, is that players get to be kind of game designers when they step into the role of making moves. So, what do you think is a good move for this? Like - you, again, we take that base thing - is it, like, in this case, like, boat combat 2d6 plus, probably Wisdom again, right? This is about, like, reading the waves and the motion and stuff -
KEITH: Yeah, yeah…
ALI: I - Intelligence, maybe, instead?
KEITH: Oh, but are we talking about -
ALI: I feel like it’s -
AUSTIN [OVER ALI]: I don’t think it’s Intelligence. Intellig - so, Wisdom is about - is about reading the world.
JACK: What’s kind of the roll for courage? Like a hearts roll?
AUSTIN: It’d be Charisma.
JACK: Charisma is courage?
AUSTIN: Yeah -
JACK: So, to an extent -
AUSTIN [OVER JACK]: If anything, it would be courage - it would be - Charisma is, like - or Wisdom right, like, in a sense… Hm…
JACK: To an extent, there’s something about preparing for seafaring combat where there is - there is, a moment of time between preparing for an action and then an action taking place. Like seeing a - boat, that’s running, cresting a wave in front of you, that I think would require some sort of courage?
AUSTIN [OVER JACK]: Yeah, there’s like - that, like, quiet - Mh-hm...
ALI: Yeah, I think I -
KEITH: I think that Wisdom or Charisma would could both fit there -
ALI: I think I did my stats wrong, because what I was thinking of Wisdom was more of, like, book knowledge?
AUSTIN [IMMEDIATELY]: No, that’s Intelligence.
KEITH: No that’s Intelligence.
AUSTIN: Yeah, Wisdom in Dungeon World, and in DnD, is this, like… it’s being aware [JACK: It’s like intuition] - it’s intuition, it’s being aware of what’s around you, it’s being able to, like, look at a room and figure out what’s out of place. And for me, I think the 8 worked for Hella because, like, think about when you were in that dwarf painter’s house. Everyone else was, like, picking through everything, and you were, like, standing by the door, like, ready to fucking go. [ALI LAUGHS] You know what I mean? So, it’s not that - I don’t think that she has, like, a negative to it, in terms of, like, ability so much as interest, you know? Like, she doesn’t have bad eyesight - eyesight or something, she just, like, “Who cares?”, you know? Like, “This isn’t what I’m...”, what you’re there for, if that makes sense.
ALI: Okay, that’s fair. But I st - hm. Okay.
AUSTIN: Does that -
ALI: I still think that Intelligence would be lower for her though, if -
AUSTIN: Okay. If you want to swap them, I have no problem with that, ‘cause you’ve - if, like, you, go ahead and do that now. I don’t think we’ve even made a billion Wisdom, Intell - you’ve certainly never failed an important Wisdom roll that you should’ve succeeded, or whatever. I’d rather it just be right at this point. Alright, so, let’s go ahead and say - what are you trying to do? And then we’ll decide [STAMMERS] - roll to make based on that. What do you think your ship - how - what’s your strategy, against this boat?
KEITH: Well, we’re not - we’re not the ones manning the cannons, right? This is, like, a thing that the boat - crew is doing -
AUSTIN [INTERRUPTING]: Yeah, but - at this point, you’ve ascended into, kind of, lieutenant roles, if that makes sense.
KEITH: I think I - I think I’ve decided that what I want to do is turn into an eagle and throw skeletons into the ocean.
[JACK STARTS LAUGHING]
AUSTIN [IMMEDIATELY]: That’s not a bad idea. At this point, you’re still at that moment that Jack was describing. It’s that great distance where, you’re, like, still out of cannon range and you’re still out of combat range, effectively. So, like, turning into an eagle at this point - you can turn into one, fine, go ahead and make that role if you want, but, like, you’re - you’re probably out of range of closing that distance and beginning combat. But yeah, go ahead and make that - that first role.
JACK: Do we have drums? Is there anything I could do to -
AUSTIN: Yeah, there’s some shit. There’s definitely some drums.
KEITH [INTERRUPTING]: That’s fucking eleven, what’s up -
JACK: Oh -
AUSTIN: Oh, hold 3, Keith is rolling, like - like, really well tonight.
[ALI LAUGHS]
KEITH: I know, I know, making up for last time. That’s four elevens in a row, that’s some weird shit.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ALI: Can we say that, in this time that I have - I am looking out my telescope and I can see that these guys are fucked up?
AUSTIN: Yeah, at this point. Now that you’ve decided to face them, yeah.
ALI: Yeah. Oh, boy …
[JACK STAMMERS]
ALI: Well, can I - would I have to roll “Discern Realities” to see, like, how many people are on the ship, or…
AUSTIN: No, I can just -
KEITH: Should someone - alright, nevermind.
AUSTIN: You can see dozens, you know, this is a big ship; it takes dozens to - to run.
JACK & KEITH: Uhm -
JACK: Would I - uhm, Hella, and Fero, I realize, you know, how would you all feel about me drumming to quarters, trying to instill some sort of… some sort of shape, and courage in the crew?
KEITH: Yeah, do that - some of these are just people.
ALI: Yeah - that’ll help, for sure.
AUSTIN: I also just remembered one very important thing that - that, I - I… I keep trying to paint pictures in people’s minds of what’s happening, and I just realized, again, despite making this note that I didn’t ask you all to describe your characters using the - using the descriptors that are on your character sheets. So, as you’re spinning -
KEITH: Oh yeah, I keep on -
AUSTIN: I know - we all forget this, every time. While you’re moving around this place, like, gimme a picture of what you look like and, like, what you’re doing physically [STAMMERS] -
KEITH: Okay… so, the - the descriptors that - that they give you, I have, I’ll say, “wild eyes”, “messy hair”, and then, “weathered hides” -
AUSTIN: “Hi-”, wait, what? “Hi-” - Oh, like, clothing. Your clothing, is, like hides.
KEITH: Hides, like clothing. Yeah yeah yeah, it’s just - yeah yeah yeah. Sort of, like, old - like, old various leathers. One - one of them is practical leathers and I’m, like, noo - like, mine are - they’re practical but, I like that “hides” gives the idea that these are from a variety of animals -
AUSTIN: Sure, sure.
KEITH [CONTINUING]: And also, one of the things that druids have is a tell, that shows that they, like, “this is a druid,” and it shows up whether they’re in human form or animal form and at - because I’m from the - my, my - I’m “born of the soil” of the mountain, “the towering mountains” - I think that, sort of, on my shoulder and then up to my lower neck, I sort of have just a - like, my skin is - is, sort of like a, a sort of quartz-y rock.
AUSTIN: Ooh, that’s interesting. Okay. Hella, what do you - what do you look like?
ALI: So, what I’ve taken from, like, the look thing, is that I have “eager eyes”, hair is an option that I’m not picking the default one [LAUGHS], “tanned skin”, and a “built body”. So -
AUSTIN: Ooh - that makes sense, like, you’re from this - this island nation and obviously built because you’re this badass.
ALI: Right, yeah yeah yeah. In my head, Hella is like that one concept art of Samus in her suit -
AUSTIN: Like that big - the original Samus?
ALI: Yeah yeah yeah. So she’s definitely built - I imagine her hair, like, a bun … she just wears chainmail, has a cool sword.
AUSTIN: Okay - at this point, you’re probably down from the crow’s nest and running around the deck - or are you staying up there?
ALI: Uhm - yeah, I guess so. I - I feel like, until these people board, I should stay up and, like, direct people?
AUSTIN: That sounds good. Then - then, Lem. We know you’re an orc and you have tusks but what do you look like, again?
JACK: Uhm … so I picked “joyous eyes” -
COLLECTIVE “AWWS”, LAUGHS
JACK: More of a - like, that’s kind of, my read on as, like, curiosity and - and happiness that the fact that the world is a thing that he’s in. Uh, “wild hair”, “travelling clothes”, and a “fit body”? I think he is, uh … he’s probably - I think that the Archivists in general, cover themselves in - in various pockets, and straps, and bracelets and necklaces and beads - not so much necessarily for decoration but for counting and working things out [AUSTIN: Sure]. We don’t have calculators in this world [AUSTIN: Right, right] but we - we absolutely, definitely do have -
KEITH [INTERRUPTING]: So you have functional abacus clothing?
JACK: Essentially, yes -
AUSTIN: That’s kind of the best, so…
[ALI LAUGHS]
KEITH: Yeah.
JACK [AMUSED]: Uhm - and it’s not everywhere, it’s just necklaces and bracelets, and maybe a ring, that, you know, can turn to calculate things, to show things. [STAMMERS] I don’t know whether or not orcs do stuff with their tusks, like, whether or not they just leave them, or whether or not -
AUSTIN: I guess it’s - yeah, you tell me
JACK: Ornamental?
AUSTIN: Do they?
JACK: I don’t - I don’t know...
AUSTIN: I think it’d be cool.
JACK: [INHALE] Maybe - maybe, they’re sort of like scrimshaw? Like, that they’re carved. I assume that there’s no feeling in them, so I think they’re probably carved like… like overpaid, avant-garde 21st century artist’s carved skulls? You know?
AUSTIN: Right - yeah, I do.
[KEITH LAUGHS]
AUSTIN [TIREDLY]: I went to - I went to art school, so.
JACK: So I think, probably like that. And I think I am - that, I don’t know whether or not they’re fragile, as opposed to being tough things? Whether or not the Archivists have stopped their tusks from being useful - by carving them?
AUSTIN: That’s interesting, yeah… or are they - are they carved in such a way that - that, like, a skilled carving retains their strength, but, like, you can get, like, shitty carvings that -
JACK: That means that, you know, like - you know, like, when you break a bone [AUSTIN: Yeah, yeah] - it never - it’s still possible to break. It’s - it’s easy to break, I don’t know. I think Lem is probably - probably running up towards the back of the ship, where there are these big, stupid drums - that, you know, like, people hit in “Asterix & Obelix” [SMALL LAUGH] - that’s a reference for all you Europeans out there -
AUSTIN: [LAUGH] And no one else. Alright, so let’s start there, then. Let’s start with - with Lem, drumming this big thing. Are you using your arcane art? Or are you - what are you doing?
JACK [OVER AUSTIN]: So I think this is a “Defy Danger” - I don’t know if this is “Defy Danger”, think this might be a Charisma “Defy Danger”.
AUSTIN: No, I mean, what - you’re not defying any danger at this point, like, the combat hasn’t started yet, you know?
JACK [QUIETLY]: Did you - did you roll? I just heard a roll noise.
AUSTIN: No...
KEITH: Oh, I just - I was wr - writing in the chat that I had hold 3, so I don’t forget.
JACK: Okay, so the thing about arcane - my arcane tiers {#27:22#} - are they - what effects does it have, let me see… It gives me 1d8 - oh, it gives 1d8 damage, plus 1d4 - sorry, heals 1d8 damage, plus 1d4 forward to damage, “their mind is shaken clear of one enchantment”, and “the next time someone successfully assists the target with aid, they get plus 2 instead of plus 1”.
AUSTIN [CONTEMPLATIVELY]: Huh. That’s interesting, I think we can - we can, kind of, translate that last one. So, the last one is about aiding people and, like, doing the “Aid or Interfere” move, but I think that’s translatable here, because what you’re all effectively doing is trying to aid, uh, Captain Calhoun, right? Does that make sense?
JACK: Yes
KEITH: Yeah. Yeah.
JACK: But we’re not going to be taking aid rolls on him, right?
AUSTIN: No, but we’ll - we’ll translate this, like, that’s - that’s not a problem, right, like, because he isn’t making any - because he’s an NPC, he won’t be making any rolls, right; so, aid only works if that character’s making a roll, but instead, effectively what you’re doing is - the magical effect of this, the semiotic effect of this, the pattern magic that’s happening is, you’re kind of, weaving together a rhythm that puts everyone on Calhoun’s step, right?
JACK: Yes, absolutely.
AUSTIN: [STAMMERS] That, to me, reads like, the next time someone successfully assists the target with aid, they get plus 2 instead of plus 1. So - so, I think that that’s fair to - to kind of, understand that -
JACK [OVER AUSTIN]: So what effect will that have on our rolls?
AUSTIN: Th - whatever the next - the next time someone successfully - the next time someone makes roll about this, they’ll get a plus 1. I think it says plus 2 instead of plus 1 here, because it’s assuming that you only make - an “Aid or Interfere” roll when you have a bond with someone, ‘cause it has plus 2 instead of plus 1, but really it’s just a bonus 1 to that. So that’s what that would do. Let’s say it’ll give - it’ll give a plus 1 on that next - forward on, the next roll to, like, order the ship in a direction. Probably Hella’s next roll - up here, right?
JACK: Okay, so I roll plus Charisma. “On a 10 plus, the ally gets the selected effect. On a 7-9, your spell still works, but you draw” un-attention, [AUSTIN: Sure] “unwanted attention”, or my magic reverbates to other targets affecting them as well, GM’s choice. I’m going to roll plus Charisma here [AUSTIN: Sounds good] - please, please, let it be a good roll -
[ALI PITY “Aww”s ]
JACK: Please let it be a good roll, I’m scarred right now [AUSTIN: You are scarred] I dunno if that affects my drumming ability or -
AUSTIN [INTERRUPTING]: Again, if - for me, I think the way it works, at this point, is, like - it’s not just, like, “Oh, you’re scarred and people don’t think that you’re as hot”, it’s like, you feel less charismatic, and that affects your - your performance, do you know know what I mean, like -
JACK: Yeah. [PAUSE] Alright, okay -
[TIMESTAMP 30:03]
AUSTIN: Go ahead and make that roll - yup.
ALI: Oh
AUSTIN: That’s a success, right?
ALI: Yeah -
JACK [THOUGHTFULLY]: That’s a nine, yeah, alright. [AUSTIN UMS] This is better than my previous few rolls.
AUSTIN [INTERJECTING]: But! “On a 7 to 9, your spell still works, but you draw unwanted attention or your magic reverberates to other targets affecting them”, so let’s just - I’m gonna start a new page, here, uhh - I’m gonna bring you guys over to it, really quick, just so we can have, like, a - a nice vision of this… let’s just paint this whole background really quick… a nice blue - a nice ocean blue, how’s that sound? [QUIET CLICKING NOISES]
KEITH: Uh - I - I do want to point out, while we’re doing this, that uh, like, [LAUGH] Fero is very upset that we took this boat, and feels very gl - uh, very “I told you so” right now, but I am thrilled that this is happening, as a player.
[LAUGHTER]
AUSTIN [AMUSED]: Good, that’s the right -
KEITH: I don’t want - when I am being f - I don’t want it to be - I don’t want people to be confused, like, “Oh, why doesn’t Keith want this to be happening?”, like, no, I super want this to be happening.
AUSTIN: Right - good. That’s the right - that’s good. Ah - So… now, see, this map - did I move you guys over to the right map?
ALI: We’re just seeing blue, yeah.
KEITH, OVER ALI: I’m seeing a blue screen.
AUSTIN, OVER KEITH: You should be seeing - A nice boring blue screen…
KEITH: Yeah. Nice, boring - [MUTTERS] boring, old blue screen.
ALI: They keep pinging, so… [LAUGH] [??? 31:25]
AUSTIN, OVER ALI: Let’s - here’s the - uh, let’s just do, let’s just see if there’s boats in this - in this Roll20 thing really quick. There’s probably boats -
ALI: How do you erase?
KEITH, OVER ALI: Oh, shit.
AUSTIN: What?
ALI [SHEEPISH]: How do you erase things? [LAUGH]
AUSTIN: You go to your - your, the top thing, which is that sele - that, like, arrow, and then you click on that and then you click on the thing and it’ll select the drawing you made. [SILENCE, SOME CLICKING NOISES] And then you can hit delete. [PAUSE] I can also just do it really quick.
ALI: Yeah, I don’t -
AUSTIN: There.
KEITH: I got - no, it works.
AUSTIN: Yeah, yeah. Ooh… Just toss down some - some boats really quick. So that we can see where we are. Ah…. it would help if any of these weren’t the shittiest. Dear Roll20’s fr - like, huge collection of free things: have cooler pirate ships.
[JACK LAUGHS]
ALI: Aw, we don’t need, like, a fancy thing -
AUSTIN [IMMEDIATELY]: No, it’s just I - I -
KEITH [OVER AUSTIN]: Did you search “boat” or “ship”?
AUSTIN [OVER KEITH]: I searched “boat” first, I think that was my mistake.
ALI: Man -
JACK: Did you search “vessel” -
ALI [CONTINUING OVER JACK]: that’s on you.
AUSTIN: That’s on me.
JACK: Did you - did you search “p-”
KEITH [INTERRUPTING]: I bet “pirate ship” would work well.
AUSTIN: Yeah…
JACK: What the hell is that.
AUSTIN: That’s - it’s - it’s -
JACK [OVER AUSTIN]: Is that, like, a beetle carapace -
KEITH [OVER JACK]: It’s a - it’s a rowboat -
AUSTIN: Well, it’s - [ALI GIGGLES] listen. Don’t make fun of - well, I’m gonna extend it, and then you’ll see it’s a boat. [SHORT PAUSE, CLICKING NOISES]
JACK [MILDLY SURPRISED]: Oh!
KEITH: Boom! It’s a boat!
AUSTIN: That’s more of a boat
ALI [OVER AUSTIN]: I like that
AUSTIN: So let’s say that’s - that your boat, here -
KEITH: Okay.
ALI [OVER KEITH]: That’s our boat? [LAUGH]
AUSTIN: Sure? Why not -
ALI: Okay - ‘cause it seems really big.
AUSTIN [OVER ALI]: It doesn’t have to be [ALI LAUGHS]. Well - that’s the thing, you still haven’t seen the other one yet.
KEITH [OVER AUSTIN]: We still haven’t seen the other one yet.
ALI: Right…
KEITH: This - there’s - twenty five, or so, people on the boat.
AUSTIN: Yeah-
JACK: Cue, an enormous boat, a boat so big -
AUSTIN: I thought about it, I did, I thought about it, like, oh this is [SPLUTTERING], that’s kind of cool looking, uhm -
ALI: [LAUGHING] That’s the thing, is, I didn’t want to see a boat bigger than this one, ‘cause then I’m scared.
AUSTIN: But again, you don’t know what the scale is here, right-
JACK: You’re Hella, you’re not scared.
ALI: Well no, as Hella I’m not scared.
AUSTIN [OVER ALI]: You’re never scared.
ALI: Hella is never scared. [SCOFF] Hella is never scared
[PAUSE AS AUSTIN DOES SOME SHIT]
JACK [SURPRISED]: Oh goddamn -
KEITH: Yeaah, what’s up!
AUSTIN: Okay, so there’s a bigger boat. Uhh - [NERVOUS LAUGH]
JACK: That’s the Kingdom Come, that’s actually the boat
AUSTIN: That’s actually the Kingdom Come.
ALI: Oh wait, I’m still super zoomed in, that’s why -
AUSTIN: Yeah, you should zoom out some
JACK: Don’t get scared-
ALI: Where’s - Ah, that’s a big old boat
[LAUGHTER]
JACK: I told you not to get scared.
AUSTIN: Alright, so, this is kind of the situation you guys are in right now- Your smaller - but still, like, a sizable boat, is a pr- ah, I guess actually, let’s not make you broadsided, that would be really - that’s kind of unfair. [CLICKING SOUNDS] Alright. There we go. Tilt it up that way…
KEITH: Yeah!
AUSTIN: So… I guess Hella, at this point, let’s do - Now tell me what you, what the plan is for this, for this ship. I think Calhoun wants to just do like a, the traditional, like try to use your speed to circle around it and take some shots at it. Um, is that - is that what you’re hoping to achieve here?
ALI: Um... Sure, I mean, we probably have the speed on this boat, or the maneuvering power, at least...
AUSTIN: Yeah…
KEITH [SNAPPING]: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
AUSTIN: Yeah?
KEITH: I just had a good idea -
AUSTIN: Uh-huh?
KEITH: You go - you keep going Ali.
ALI: Okay -
KEITH: Unless I - Unless I go now.
AUSTIN: We can talk, we’re allowed to - Everyone can talk.
ALI [OVER AUSTIN]: Yeah, this is supposed to be a conversation.
KEITH: I - I wasn’t sure if Ali had a very specific thing she was going to say. I - I said that I wanted to turn into an eagle, which I did, and then throw skeletons into the water. But before I do that, I wanna fuckin’ tear up their sails. With my big eagle talons.
ALI: Okay.
AUSTIN: Okay, well let’s - You, you’re, okay - you’re going to start flying out, let’s - You’re going to start flying out towards that ship then?
KEITH: Yeah, yeah, I’m gonna try to not make it so obvious that I came from this boat.
AUSTIN: Uh-huh. That’s fair. I don’t know that that’s -
[ALI, GIGGLING]
JACK [LYING]: Eagles go out to the sea a lot.
AUSTIN: Yeah, I don’t …
ALI: I appreciate that.
AUSTIN: I don’t know that that’s gonna be possible - Oh! [EXCLAMATIONS]] I done - we done goofed! Here’s the thing that happens! ‘Cause Lem King rolled a 9, and not a 10. The part of -
JACK: Oh dear…
AUSTIN: Right, so part of this is that your spell still works, so the crew all starts moving to the beat that he’s drumming, but, very quickly, the ship comes under fire with the kind of long cannons. This is not the full strength of The Kingdom Come, but it is, you know - cannonballs do start landing, especially towards the rear of the ship. They’re shooting at you, Lem, so give me a Defy Danger DEX to make sure you’re not hit.
JACK: So I can just roll my character sheet’s dex right now?
AUSTIN: Yup! That’d be perfect.
[PAUSE, CLICKING SOUNDS]
JACK: 8!
AUSTIN: Um… Okay. So, the… Hm. The cannons, uh, a couple of the cannon shots definitely land true. Uh, not hitting you - like, you’re dodging out of the way, but the ship is starting to get hit. And, it becomes clear quickly that if you remain back here, continuing your drumming, you will continue to come under fire. But, that might be a good thing. Except to you. Do you wanna stay back here, and continue drawing their fire, letting the front of the ship, where the cannons are, remain untouched? Or do you want to go to safety?
[PAUSE, CLICKING SOUNDS]
JACK: Um... I think I’ll do it. Because I think that part of, part of how pattern magic works, as well, is that once you start doing it, it’s very easy to keep - [AUSTIN: Mh-hm.] - it’s orifice, it’s difficult to stop - Oh my god, there’s an eagle on the map.
[LAUGHTER]
JACK: It’s also hard to stop doing it, you know? It’s - [AUSTIN: Yeah,] like, the cool, magical music equivalent of just watching Netflix late at night when you know you should be going to sleep -
KEITH: Oh, I was thinking of peeing. [ALI LAUGHS] It’s hard to stop peeing.
JACK: And that’s the difference between Britain and America.
AUSTIN: Uh-huh. [LAUGHTER] Um... Great! So, you’re going to continue doing that. Fero, at this point, has begun flying away. Hella! Tell me about this boat. Lem is drawing, is drawing aggro, so to speak, are you going to try to close and take a shot?
ALI: Uh, yeah.
AUSTIN: Okay. I think that that probably - what do you, what do you guys think that is? That’s definitely 2D6 plus… something, because that’s how this game works.
JACK: Maybe, maybe strength? I dunno...
AUSTIN: I don’t think it’s strength because that would be… DEX, for aiming? Maybe?
JACK: Yeah, alright.
KEITH: Yeah, sure.
ALI: Um, yeah. That’s fine.
JACK: Also, I super love this map here. For people on the podcast who can’t see this [KEITH: Oh-] , what we’ve essentially got is [ALI LAUGHS] - Austin is controlling incredibly low frames per second [LAUGHTER], poor art direction [AUSTIN: Uh-huh?] flash game for us right now -
AUSTIN: Yeah, it’s great. Well actually, Fero should be able to control his thing, Hella should now be able to control, um- can you? Does that let you? Can you select these things? Hella should be able to control the boat.
KEITH: Yeah, I can control - Oh, so here’s a tip, Ali, you have to control it slightly to the left of where it actually is.
ALI: Wait -
KEITH: Yeah. Maybe that’s just me but…
ALI: So I can - oh -
AUSTIN: There you go.
KEITH: Okay, so here’s what I’m - here’s what I’m thinking -
AUSTIN: Uh-huh.
KEITH: For, like - so, if this is working in the same way as, um - Volley does, when you’re shooting arrows -
AUSTIN [OVER KEITH]: Yes, it should be - good call -
KEITH: So, the - I think - the reason why it could be Strength instead of DEX is that Ali has to move a bunch of cannonballs.
AUSTIN: How about we decide - how about this though, okay, what if it’s -
KEITH [OVER AUSTIN]: And push cannons around -
AUSTIN [OVER KEITH]: What if, more interesting here, and say it could be DEX or - or it could be Strength, but it each gives a different bonus? So, for instance- All right, so if it's like Volley- So the way Volley works, which, this does make sense, this is definitely Volley. When you take aim and shoot an enemy at range, roll plus DEX. On a ten plus, you have a clear shot, deal your damage. On a seven to nine, choose one. Whichever you choose, you deal damage. So you can either- you have to move and place yourself in danger to get the shot if you get a seven to nine, you also take- you take less damage- or you give less damage if you get a seven to nine, or you lose ammo on a seven to nine. What if you use Strength, you can get off two shots. Because you’re aiming better, right? Like you’re- sorry, you’re loading more quickly? Because you’re like, being buff and like, loading those cannons real quick. But if you roll with DEX, then you always hit for your full damage, you’ll never have to take the minus 1d6. Or something like that. Does that sound interesting?
ALI: Yeah. And I guess if I imagine more-
AUSTIN: Let’s say there is- also let’s just say that there is four ammo on this ship. To be clear, that’s not four cannonballs, ammo is this kind of nebulous thing. Actually, let’s say three ammo, let’s say three ammo. Three should last. So go ahead and do a Volley roll to take the first shot.
ALI: Okay. Yeah, if I imagine Hella in this situation, I’m sure that she’s the one like, loading the cannons while other people are taking aim, [AUSTIN: Yeah.] because she just doesn’t know how to do that.
AUSTIN: Yeah, she isn’t- she isn’t cannons.
ALI: Yeah, so I’m gonna go for the Strength roll on that, if that’s cool.
AUSTIN: Sounds good.
ALI: And I got a nine.
AUSTIN: Okay, so that means you should now choose- you either have to move the ship to take the shot, which puts you in danger, you have to reduce the shot’s damage by 1d6, or you have to take several shots, reducing your ammo by one.
ALI: Um. I’ll take several shots.
AUSTIN: Okay, so that means you go down to two ammo. And then let’s say… that seems right. Let’s say 1d8 damage, and since you used Strength, you get to roll that twice.
KEITH: And take the higher, or the both hit?
AUSTIN: [OVER KEITH]: No she gets to- They both hit.
KEITH: Okay.
ALI: Oh. What do I type in to roll?
AUSTIN: It’s slash roll…
KEITH: Slash roll 1d8.
ALI: Okay.
AUSTIN: Or I guess you could just do slash roll 2d8. Actually. Since you’re rolling two dice.
ALI: Oh, sure.
AUSTIN: Yeah, just do that.
ALI: [DISAPPOINTED] Oh.
AUSTIN: Oh my-! Christ.
KEITH: [GROANS] God.
[ALI LAUGHING]
JACK: This isn’t good.
KEITH: You did so bad.
ALI: I did the worst. Do I get XP for that?
AUSTIN: [OVER ALI] Oh! Actually, here’s a thing actually, I just remembered because of Jack’s song, Ali, you actually get a ten, which means you didn’t lose any ammo, which means you still have three ammo, which is good to know.
ALI: Okay.
KEITH: Yeah, okay, good.
ALI: But we don’t hit anything.
AUSTIN: No, no, that’s damage, you did hit. So the cannonballs-
KEITH: [OVER AUSTIN] That’s damage, yeah. You hit.
AUSTIN: [CONT] -have started to slam into The Kingdom Come, maybe busting through some of it’s sails.
JACK: I specifically said don’t shoot… [TRAILS OFF LAUGHING] Don’t blow the ship up!
AUSTIN: Well, what’s your plan for taking it over then? This is the thing, right?
KEITH: Well, then see, you said-
JACK: Have you played Black Flag?
KEITH: Jack, you said “Don’t blow the ship up” before everyone else disagreed with me and said there should be cannons. [ALI AND JACK LAUGH] And now there’s cannons. And now we’re gonna have two broken ships.
AUSTIN: Right.
JACK: Okay, so, I think-
ALI: We don’t have to break it like, a lot, I only did four damage on it.
AUSTIN: Yeah, you only did four. It’s okay.
ALI: It’ll be okay.
AUSTIN: Let me be clear.
KEITH: Yeah.
ALI: Do I get the XP from that?
AUSTIN: No, cause you didn’t fail.
ALI: Okay.
AUSTIN: You succeeded.
ALI: Oh, the damage roll failed, which isn’t- okay.
AUSTIN: No, the damage roll didn’t fail, the damage-
KEITH: It didn’t fail, it just was shitty.
AUSTIN: Right. It was not great. Yeah. So, Fero, at this point you’re an eagle.
KEITH: Yeah, I’m an eagle.
AUSTIN: [OVER KEITH] And you want to go fuck up their sails also?
KEITH: I wanna go fuck up their sails.
AUSTIN: Sounds like a- I guess that sounds like- That’s a Defy Danger, let’s say.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: Because you’re not like, attacking- Like, you’ll hit the thing if you get close enough, but the pirates down on the deck start to see you, and as you get closer, you can definitely make them out. They are, you know, the flesh on some of them has kind of sloughed off their faces and they look like they’re wearing like, scary Halloween masks, you know?
KEITH: Yeah. [LAUGHS]
AUSTIN: Of the melty-face variety.
KEITH: Is this a Defy Danger for Strength to tear up the sails, or is it through DEX to-
AUSTIN: [OVER KEITH] I think it’s- no, it’s DEX. It’s DEX. It’s cause you’re dodging javelins and harpoons being tossed up at you.
KEITH: Okay. And my DEX bonus is plus one, so I’m gonna do..
AUSTIN: Solid roll.
KEITH: That’s 8, 9.
AUSTIN: So that’s a solid roll. Hmm. Defy Danger is always interesting because of how much stuff there is in terms of like, what could come out of a partial success.
JACK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: You can- You can do some damage to this- you can do your damage to the boat, but it would mean taking one of the javelins in the wing. So you can either dodge out of the way or get this hit in.
KEITH: Okay. I’m gonna- I’m going to do my damage to the boat.
AUSTIN: Okay, so go ahead and roll your damage.
KEITH: And that’s just regular plus Strength?
AUSTIN: Just do your regular plus Strength, yeah.
KEITH: Okay. Daaang! Fourteen!
AUSTIN: Oh my god!
JACK: [OVER AUSTIN] Wow.
AUSTIN: That’s- Wait, wait, wait, wait. Your damage is not 2d6 plus two.
KEITH: Oh, I just rolled- Oh, sorry. I rolled the- yeah, that’s right.
AUSTIN: Whew.
KEITH: Wrong one.
AUSTIN: Yeah, wrong one.
KEITH: [IRONICALLY] Goddamn it!
AUSTIN: That would have been too good!
JACK: The boat would have just stopped.
AUSTIN: Yes.
KEITH: Roll...1d6… plus two. [TIMESTAMP 45:00] Goddamn, I wasted that really good roll!
AUSTIN: It’s an all right roll. It’s an all right roll.
KEITH: Five.
AUSTIN: Wait, how are you- What’s the plus two from here?
KEITH: Is that not- Oh, I don’t add Strength.
AUSTIN: You don’t add Strength. It’s just three, yeah.
KEITH: It’s just three.
ALI: Oh, buddy.
AUSTIN: It’s all right.
KEITH: Just three.
AUSTIN: Okay. Meanwhile…
KEITH: Where’s- I had an attack roll in my macros, where did it go?
AUSTIN: One of the javelins pierces through your wings.
KEITH: Okay, I also take one- I also get one Balance.
AUSTIN: Oh, you do take- You do get one Balance. Mark that. And you also take three damage, I just rolled. I’m gonna start rolling damage- I like the fact that I don’t ever have to roll as a GM, but I think it’s just quicker if I’m doing the rolling on some of that stuff, if that makes sense. [PAUSE] Lem, are you still… are you still-
JACK: I think I’m still drumming.
AUSTIN: Okay.
JACK: I don’t know, how close are we getting now? Let’s check the map.
AUSTIN: You’re- You’re starting to get a bit closer, let’s say. They’re approaching-
JACK: [OVER AUSTIN] Hella, do you want-
AUSTIN: They’re approaching the point at which they’ll be able to broadside you, shoot all of their cannons, and that would not be good.
JACK: No. Hella, what’s your strategy for when we get close enough to possibly board them.
ALI: To board them?
AUSTIN: Good. Good plan.
JACK: [OVER AUSTIN] Seems like a good strategy.
[LAUGHTER]
JACK: Are we that close yet?
AUSTIN: No, you’re not. There’s still some distance here. Look at the base of the boats I guess is what I’ll say on this map because they’re different perspectives, but the bottom of the Kingdom Come is where the boat is, you know what I mean?
JACK: Oh, yeah, okay. Do you think it’d be worth my while to do Arcane Music for a damage roll for Hella at this point?
AUSTIN: Sure. Sure, at this point. Definitely. Because that will go to damage instead of to hit. That makes sense.
JACK: Mm-hm. Yeah, okay. I’m gonna roll- I kind of wish I could have my character sheet in a separate window here.
AUSTIN: I know, I know.
JACK: I have to pull it up on the map here.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
JACK: I’m gonna do my Arcane Art here. Continuing to play the drums but changing the rhythm very slightly so that the pattern changes perceptibly, and this is going to give plus 1d4 forward to damage, targeting Hella, and I’m gonna roll plus Charisma. There we go.
AUSTIN: Woof.
JACK: Oh jeez.
[SOMEONE WHISTLES]
JACK: Mark XP.
AUSTIN: Mark XP. The warlike beats, you realize, are not yours to drum. Your drumming becomes quiet in the face of the rhythm of the Kingdom Come, which has its own musicians at work. They’re probably not, you know, pattern magicians like you are, but theirs is a more simple-
KEITH: Oh, you said “magicians” not “musicians.”
AUSTIN: Both. Both.
KEITH: Right.
AUSTIN: Those- Theirs is a much more simple magic, it is the drums of murder.
JACK: Just playing a cool tune. Right, it’s just a rhythm that inspires their people to push a little bit harder, a little bit faster, to be a little bit more brave, insofar as the undead can be brave. Take- or roll- hmm. That’s a bad- that’s a bad roll you made.
JACK: Yeah, I didn’t do a good job there.
AUSTIN: [OVER JACK] And you did this despite the incoming fire that has been happening. I’m gonna make a hard move and say that at this point, they are- they have pulled ahead right into their broadsides. Take- Lem and Hella, let me roll damage for both of you really quick.
[PAUSE]
KEITH: Eesh.
AUSTIN: Lem take seven, Hella take eight.
ALI: Oh boy.
JACK: I’m sorry!
KEITH: Minus your armor.
AUSTIN: Minus your armor! Minus your armor.
JACK: Oh, right. Yeah.
ALI: Okay, so I take six.
AUSTIN: Yeah. That’s all.
JACK: So I take six as well.
AUSTIN: Okay.
KEITH: Yeah. Six for both.
AUSTIN: And the ship is in not great shape. Your ship is not in super great shape.
KEITH: I wanna- I wanna see if- So from where I am, which is presumably on the sails still.
AUSTIN: [OVER KEITH] Yeah. Yes.
KEITH: Can I- I want to pick up and throw into the ocean whichever skeleton is manning the helm.
AUSTIN: The helm is manned by- Okay so, at the helm is a man in a long, like brownish red jacket, like a long coat, with bloodstained khaki pants and tall black boots. His neck bears the scars of a failed decapitation. It is open a bit and you can hear him singing through the wound along to the beat. Just kind of a loud- There’s no words to this, I don’t know that he could make words there anyway, but it’s just like a [AUSTIN MAKES A GRUNTING HUMMING TUNE WITH MANY “ARGHS”]. You know, like that.
JACK: He’s Maelstrom.
AUSTIN: I don’t know who that is.
JACK: Yes you do.
AUSTIN: Do I?
JACK: The captain of the ship of Theseus.
AUSTIN: Oh! Yeah, he is sort of like that. Yes, I do know that. We’re really good at book references this week, we’re both telling each other book references that the other one has been missing all week. Despite knowing that they should get it. I haven’t thought about his face much. I’ve pictured him with a beard before, but maybe not. Maybe he’s shaved it. Maybe he had a beard last time and now he wants to- The beard was gonna get in the way of being able to see the scar and he shaved it away. We’re talking about undead shaving in this world. This is where we’re at.
KEITH: Mm-hmm.
[JACK LAUGHS]
AUSTIN: And he has a- He has on his shoulder, Fero, a large, black bird of prey.
KEITH: Oh, goddammit.
[ALI GIGGLES]
ALI: Are we about to have a bird fight?
AUSTIN: [OVER ALI] Are you swooping down to attack like you said you were?
KEITH: Yeah, I’m gonna- ah.
ALI: Is this gonna be bird on bird?
JACK: [OVER ALI] Everyone in this world needs to have a bird.
KEITH: Am I going to- Am I going to have to Defy Danger from two things at once?
AUSTIN: No, you’re just gonna make your Hack and Slash roll here. There’s no Defy- I don’t think you’re gonna make a Defy Danger on this approach, like you can make this attack.
KEITH: Yeah. Wait, so picking up this guy will be a Hack and Slash?
AUSTIN: [OVER KEITH] Picking up- I think even attempting to pick him- Like picking him up will be a Hack and Slash if you have the Str- I don’t know that you have the strength as an eagle to pick up this man. Like, I just don’t think you have that strength, do you know what I mean? You’re an eagle, you’re not a dinosaur, you’re not like a pterodactyl. I’m not saying that eagles aren’t strong
KEITH: It is a big eagle.
AUSTIN: Yeah…
ALI: It’s not that big.
AUSTIN: You didn’t say a giant eagle when you described this eagle to me.
KEITH: Well, no, when I- Well- When I first mentioned this eagle that I transform into, I did say a big- I did say a giant eagle. Or a huge eagle. Because I’ve picked people up with him before.
AUSTIN: Yeah, but you’ve picked up book people with him before. That was a book person. I’m not saying books aren’t heavy, books are heavy.
KEITH: Books are heavy, and they were the big books.
AUSTIN: But this is like an undead pirate lord, you know?
KEITH: Are the cannons on the deck or are they below deck?
AUSTIN: I think they’re below deck on his ship, on our- on your ship they’re above deck. You can attack this guy, and I’m not-
JACK: [OVER AUSTIN] Lower class cannons.
AUSTIN: I’m not saying you couldn’t- I don’t know, I feel like you couldn’t lift him. I feel like it would be really hard to lift him. Like, maybe you could. Maybe a successful attack and then a Defy Danger Strength makes sense?
[PAUSE]
KEITH: Yeah, sure, let’s do that.
AUSTIN: So you like, get your claws into him if you can, and then can try to lift him away.
ALI: Regardless, you would do damage on him, even if he can’t get him-
AUSTIN: Right.
ALI: Okay.
AUSTIN: That’s- that would be a nice thing to do, certainly.
KEITH: Yeah. So, attack roll, right?
AUSTIN: Yeah, attack roll.
ALI: This is gonna be so anticlimactic if it happens.
KEITH: Eleven.
AUSTIN: Uh, thats-
JACK: Keith!
AUSTIN: Have you cursed these dice to be the best?
ALI: Did you cheat?
AUSTIN: Are you a cheater?
KEITH: No, I’m not cheating! This is the computer!
AUSTIN: [OVER KEITH] I need to look at Keith’s macros.
ALI: Yeah.
KEITH: You can look at the thing that it’s doing right there!
AUSTIN: I can, there’s nothing special about it, it’s just a good roll!
KEITH: Yeah! It’s just a good roll!
ALI: [OVER KEITH] I’ve- I feel like-
KEITH: All right, and this is a- and then a Defy Danger Strength.
AUSTIN: So, first your damage. Cause you did- you’re a-
KEITH: Oh, shit, yeah, okay.
AUSTIN: You clawed into him and maybe you’re pecking at him a bit. Well, Keith definitely didn’t cheat, [LAUGHING] because he did one damage after that.
KEITH: [OVER AUSTIN] One damage.
[LAUGHTER]
AUSTIN: Oh brother.
JACK: Keith, I think a bird has done one damage to me in the real world before, and it’s nothing.
KEITH: [OVER JACK] It’s not the damage! It’s not the damage! The person manning the helm, I’m about to throw them in the ocean if I- Like, it’s not about the damage, it’s about that they’re gonna be in the ocean.
[JACK LAUGHS]
AUSTIN: Roll your Defy Danger plus Strength. So again, you kind of landed and had started pecking away at him-
KEITH: Ten.
AUSTIN: And you’ve lifted Brandish, the undead pirate king into the air.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Are you now moving to drop him into the sea?
KEITH: I absolutely am, yeah.
AUSTIN: He falls, with a splash.
ALI: Oh boy.
AUSTIN: And is- you lose sight of him. He probably- As you’re like, circling around, you see that he like pops back up and like [AUSTIN MAKES A YELLING NOISE] yells into the air, and again, words that you can’t understand because they’re coming more from his throat than his mouth at this point.
KEITH: So like, Darth Vader when Han Solo blasts him away and he’s like “Hrrrgh.”
AUSTIN: Yeah, exactly. And like, is kind of like, flailing around and growling. Not hurt, but certainly out of position here.
KEITH: Yeah. This- That was my last hold, so I’m gonna head back to the ship.
AUSTIN: Oh, okay. So now you have to turn back- Wait. So you’re turning back into a bird immediat- or from a- I have a question, wait.
KEITH: Yeah?
AUSTIN: That was your last hold.
KEITH: I just can’t do another move.
AUSTIN: Okay. Okay. You don’t immediately-
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: It doesn’t say like, “Immediately return to your human form once you're out of hold,” right?
KEITH: I’ll double check, I’m almost certain that it doesn’t.
AUSTIN: Go check, just in case.
KEITH: Okay. Let’s see.
AUSTIN: “Once you’re out of hold, you return to your natural form.”
ALI: Oh boy.
AUSTIN: So!
KEITH: Okay, so I return to my natural form-
AUSTIN: Midair.
KEITH: -on their boat.
AUSTIN: Or, it’s up to you- Well no, because you’re over the air when you let go of him, right?
[JACK LAUGHS]
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Do you both fall into the sea?
KEITH: I don’t fall into the sea! I don’t!
AUSTIN: Wait, why don’t you?
ALI: Yeah?
KEITH: Because I’m super- Because I do like a little toss thing when I’m an eagle, and I’m over the boat, he lands into the sea, and then I kind of do a dive down while I transform into a person and land- and do a sort of tumble roll as a person, land on-
AUSTIN: Into their boat.
KEITH: Onto their boat.
AUSTIN: You’re gonna- Okay! You wanna be on their boat.
KEITH: I wanna be on their boat.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ALI: You sure you wanna be on their boat?
AUSTIN: You sure you wanna be on their boat?
KEITH: I- I’d rather be in their boat than the ocean! Is what I can say.
ALI: You can swim in the ocean.
KEITH: I’m not gonna be in the ocean!
ALI: There’s like, a lot of guys on that boat. I don’t think you can take all those-
KEITH: Yeah, I can turn into a bird on the boat!
ALI: Oh boy.
KEITH: They’re busy, you know-
AUSTIN: You just lifted their captain! Into the- They’re gonna- All right.
ALI: Yeah…
AUSTIN: There’s no doubt in your mind that they’re not gonna come for you. We’ll go- Meanwhile.
KEITH: How many of the-
AUSTIN: Meanwhile- Well, you’ve landed on their boat. Hella, are you taking another shot?
JACK: Hey, you’re on their boat, Keith.
AUSTIN: You’re on their boat.
KEITH: Yeah, I’m gonna turn into a bird again.
AUSTIN: Okay. Hella, are you looking to take another shot here? What are you- What’s your deal?
ALI: Can I move to board?
AUSTIN: Sure! Sure. That’s-
ALI: Cause I just feel like- yeah.
AUSTIN: That’s- Well, actually, actually, that would be kind of a waste, because didn’t Lem just give you that rad bonus to attack?
ALI: No…
AUSTIN: I think, take-
KEITH: And also, no one is driving their boat.
AUSTIN: I mean, Keith, they’re a ship, they have another person who’s gonna step into line. Like-
KEITH: Yeah, but it takes a second.
AUSTIN: It will, which is why she should make this attack now, before- And then can close distance.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: What you just did-
KEITH: Right, that’s why I bring it up.
AUSTIN: What you just did has prevented another broadside attack from happening, because no one’s there to call the things out. There’s a brief moment of respite, but like, they are not disabled, you know? They’re not- Their ship isn’t broken.
ALI: I thought Lem’s spell fizzled or whatever.
AUSTIN: Oh, it did! I forgot that it did. My bad. So yeah, you can-
JACK: Oh god, it did.
AUSTIN: We can move to board, if you want. Also, let’s move him over here. And then, yeah, with- Oh man, it’s like under the shadow of the- On the map, I just moved [LAUGHTER] Calhoun’s ship under the sails of the Kingdom Come. So yeah. We can totally board. At this point Calhoun’s ship has a dozen men and women ready to fight. You toss your grappling hooks over and lock the two ships into place. [TO KEITH] No, you’re on their boat, what are you doing?
KEITH: No, I was- I’m not an eagle anymore, so I’m just trying to delete it. Cause I don’t need it.
AUSTIN: Oh, right, that’s fair.
KEITH: But I can’t- But it wouldn’t let me delete it, so I’m just moving it away.
AUSTIN: I moved it. Let’s- One second, let’s create new page, spin over here, and just do this really basically. Again, the nice thing about this- I’m really enjoying this roll20 thing because, you know, there’s not- I don’t really care about positioning, but I like being able to give everybody a view of the world, you know what I mean?
KEITH: Yeah, yeah. I agree.
AUSTIN: So, let’s go ahead and do that again. Draw these weird- yup. They probably do this better- There’s probably a fill- There isn’t a Fill tool, so I’m like, not able to- I’m using a bunch of blue rectangles-
KEITH: [OVER AUSTIN] Using a bunch of blue rectangles.
AUSTIN: Are they showing up as individual rectangles for you all?
ALI: Yeah…
AUSTIN: That’s really weird, right?
KEITH: It is weird. I was fine with the one big one.
AUSTIN: Nah, this is fun, this is cool.
KEITH: [OVER AUSTIN] Frankly.
JACK: Multiple blue rectangles.
ALI: Oh, this is like, you know. Waves.
AUSTIN: They’re waves, yeah, exactly.
JACK: It’s like a Mondrian - Mondrian sea.
AUSTIN: Exactly.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: And then…
KEITH: I mean, not exactly how waves look.
[ALI LAUGHS]
AUSTIN: Listen, buddy.
KEITH: Or behave.
ALI: These are really low-poly waves.
AUSTIN: Listen, buddy. Okay, let me zoom in, and let’s do… Let’s just do north-south. Would you rather look at this north-south or east-west?
ALI: This is fine.
AUSTIN: No, that’s not what I- Okay don’t worry about it.
KEITH: East-west.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ALI: I guess east-west is where land is, so sure.
AUSTIN: Whoa! Okay that’s not what I expected. Let’s see if this works the way I’d like it to. There’s a diamond and that’s not really what I had in mind, game.
JACK: The diamond hasn’t appeared for me yet.
AUSTIN: Give it a few seconds, it will. Oh! You know what? It’s on the- I’m on the wrong side is why. Okay. Let’s do objects-tokens. Oh, actually, I can just-
KEITH: We’ll get roll20 down to a science probably!
AUSTIN: One day!
[ALI LAUGHS]
KEITH: I mean, this is your first time really trying to use it live.
AUSTIN: [OVER KEITH] It is. It is. Do you see that? Really?
KEITH: No.
JACK: Uh…
KEITH: Yeah.
JACK: No.
AUSTIN: Huh. You should.
ALI: Oh, there we go.
KEITH: Oh! There it is.
AUSTIN: You have to like, finish it, I think. And then their much bigger ship. [TIMESTAMP 1:00:00] Oops, that’s the wrong colors. You can clear all this up in post, right Keith?
[PAUSE]
KEITH: Yeah, I can do that.
AUSTIN: He’s lying again, I can hear it. Fuck, why is this not?
KEITH: No, no, no, I’ll do it.
ALI: He’s not gonna do it.
KEITH: What benefit would it be to the show to have this in?
AUSTIN: None. Nothing at all. This is true.
KEITH: Yeah.
JACK: We just have to make sure we don’t do any good jokes during this period.
AUSTIN: I don’t know why it’s not letting me- I’ll just go to freehand. Is it just gonna be that? It’s just gonna be that. Oh, am I still on the wrong…? No, I’m on the right thing. What the fuck? Listen, I gotta get this working. This is a weird…
ALI: We believe in you. Take some time.
AUSTIN: There it is. There it is. And there, and then… This is probably too far. Why is this not? Okay, let’s put it here. Nope, that’s wrong. Okay. O-kay. There, you see those? Now?
KEITH: Yeah.
JACK: Yes.
KEITH: Yup!
AUSTIN: So, you’ve hooked those two ships together at this point and you have boards dropping right now. It’s- Ooh, that was not what I wanted.
JACK: It’s sort of like a- a sort of an omelet.
AUSTIN: Yeah. It was sort of an omelet. That was really weird.
[ALI LAUGHS]
ALI: I made such a bomb omelet today.
AUSTIN: Ah, I want an omelet really bad.
JACK: [OVER AUSTIN] Oh, really?
ALI: Yeah.
KEITH: I don’t really- like omelets are my least favorite type of egg.
AUSTIN: Really?
JACK: Really? I like a nice Spanish omelet sometimes.
KEITH: Yeah, there’s something- it’s- I don’t know, what’s a Spanish omelet?
JACK: It’s- It’s- It’s more like something- I don’t want to talk about food, Austin doesn’t-
AUSTIN: I appreciate it.
KEITH: I like the really big fluffy omelets, [AUSTIN: Oh, they’re so good.] but I feel like a lot of the times omelets are flat, and the way that it kind of cooks the egg on the outermost of the omelet kind of doesn’t appeal, I don’t like that flavor of egg, [A BELL CHIMES] that sort of cooked, very cooked-
[A BELL CHIMES AGAIN]
JACK: It’s the omelet bell!
AUSTIN: It is the omelet bell. It’s over though. All right, so-
KEITH: [DEEP VOICE] Hey, my name’s Omelet Bell. Welcome back to the program.
AUSTIN: Nailed it. All right, so, you’re on this-
KEITH: Egg conspiracies!
AUSTIN: Oh, boy. You’re on this smaller boat and you’re men are gonna be- your fighters are outnumbered for sure here, but Calhoun runs a tight ship with well-trained people and you’ve beaten-
KEITH: When they’re not wasted.
AUSTIN: Right, when they’re not wasted. And you’ve beaten some of these people before. And they’re back for more because they’re undead skeleton people, but it’s just a real melee in there. Let’s say, Hella, you wanted to be the person boarding, so let’s say that you’re like one of the people charging in right away.
ALI: Yeah.
AUSTIN: You run across the board, you climb up the side of the boat and jump in, and there are probably four or five skeletons on you quickly, kind of trying to circle around you, what do you do?
ALI: Um… I definitely- I guess I just attack the one that’s closest to me and like…
AUSTIN: Yeah, you can go ahead and-
ALI: Yeah.
AUSTIN: How are you- You just like, you draw your sword. Has your- Have you fought undead things before? Is this the first thing that’s undead that you’ve ever-
KEITH: Well, we- Art killed that skeleton.
AUSTIN: Yeah, but I mean Hella. Has Hella ever fought an undead thing before in her life?
ALI: No.
AUSTIN: Okay, this is scary. It’s weird to see people without skin moving, and moving like, weird and erratically. This is not a fun situation for you. I just want to like, communicate that, so that you know that. But you feel- you do feel a bit of strength when you touch your sword, when you touch your blade.
ALI: Yeah. Should I do a quick Heirloom roll as I pull it? Do you think it would start talking?
AUSTIN: I don’t think it’s- No, I don’t think this is the situation where it would start talking to you.
ALI: Okay.
AUSTIN: You know what I mean?
ALI: Yeah, yeah.
JACK: Has it talked yet?
AUSTIN: It told her to leave the island.
JACK: Oh.
ALI: Yeah, and that’s when [??? 1:03:52]
JACK: Oh, well yeah, other than that.
AUSTIN: Not around you, Lem.
JACK: Okay.
AUSTIN: You’ll know.
ALI: But, I mean yeah, they- They’re all dropping on me, but I’m prepared for a fight, so-
AUSTIN: Yeah, go ahead and- Go for it.
ALI: Do my Hack and Slash roll.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ALI: Which is Strength. So I roll an eleven.
AUSTIN: That’s a fucking good hit is what that is, go ahead and-
JACK: God, what is happening to everybody’s rolls except mine?
KEITH: [OVER JACK] Yeah, it is.
[Autumn Not Winter by Jack de Quidt starts playing]
AUSTIN: Just think about it as like, XP you’re gonna get, that’s all.
KEITH: Yeah. Last session, I got four XP just from missed rolls.
AUSTIN: Right. So go ahead and do your damage, right you did. You slam into the first skeleton pirate that’s near you and shatter him into little pieces, easily-
JACK: Do these skeleton pirates have names?
AUSTIN: Yeah! Uh, I guess not, these are monsters at this point, more than- Mmm.
JACK: I’m just curious, cause one of your things is “Name everybody,” and I’m wondering if you just like, come up with like, twenty skeleton pirates.
AUSTIN: It’s interesting- The thing that’s tough is- So it’s “Every NPC has a name,” but monsters just need to have like, intuition and interest. They have to have a goal, right, they have to have a motivation. So this is interesting though, because I do think these are more people than they are like, monsters. I do, I do think that.
KEITH: I think the game very specifically defined monsters as like, enemies.
AUSTIN: I think there are monsters that are- But no, it doesn’t. It says like, “There are monsters and there are NPCs,” and even enemy NPCs have to have names, do you know what I mean? If these were human they would have all- I would have immediately had names, do you know what I mean? So… So that was Logan. Let’s say that was Logan. [LAUGHTER] He’s dead now.
JACK: That was Logan. He’s dead now.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
KEITH: [LAUGHING] Oh, poor Logan!
[MUSIC ENDS]