Transcriber: Jess (JortsMachoooo#6341)
Keith: I’m just about to finish Kiwami 2, which I’m liking not as much as 0 or 1.
Austin: Okay.
Keith: But, I am liking it.
Ali (overlapping): Yeah...
Austin (overlapping): That’s what I’ve heard.
Keith: And I got almost to the end, and I was like—I’m—I was at, like, [Austin sighs] 90% completion with it, and so I just was like “Well, I’ll just do the last 10%, and then I’ll 100% this game, which I don’t normally do.”
Austin: You’re right there.
Keith: I’m right there. Turns out, that last 10%, they really make you work for it.
Austin: Yeah. That happens.
Keith (overlapping): Wow.
Austin: That’ll happen. I was trying 7—
Keith: Why—I—
Austin (overlapping): —I was—Janine and I were kind of playing 7 together, and...[sigh] it’s like—it really wants to have it both ways. I get why people like it—
Keith (overlapping): 7...is 7...
Austin (overlapping): —it’s the newest one, Like A Dragon? Yakuza: LAD?
Keith (overlapping): Yeah, okay. Like A Dragon, yeah.
Austin: Which I only realized—
Keith (overlapping): Right. [Laugh]
Austin: —yesterday, and I’m so mad about it. [Ali and Keith laugh] Um, and...
Keith (overlapping): Yeah, I kind of am not—[Austin sighs] I don’t think I really wanna play it, but—
Austin: The whole thing is, like—on—like, I can give you the hard pitch that makes it sound dope, because it’s like, “Oh, it’s mostly you working with folks who are on the margins. It’s you working with, like, homeless populations and sex workers...”
Keith: Yeah...
Austin: “...and the elderly...”
Keith (overlapping): And that is one of the—
Austin: And that’s already sort of there with—
Keith (overlapping): —one of the key things—
Austin: —in previous Yakuza games, right? Like, it’s like, you know—
Keith: Right.
Austin: Kiryu has an open part.
Keith (overlapping): It’s a lot of small business owners and entrepreneur go-getters.
Austin: (Laughing) Yes. I mean, that’s true.
Keith (overlapping): But also...
Austin: Uh-huh. [Ali laughs] That’s the overlap, right. But like—
Keith: Right.
Austin: —this is also a game where the enemies you fight are named things like “Hungry Hungry Homeless.”
Keith: Yeah...
Austin: And it’s like [groans].
Keith (overlapping): This is all I’ve—
Austin: I can’t do both!
Keith (overlapping): When this game first—when this game first got announced, it was like, “They’re doing Yakuza but turn-based. Why would they do that? Because it’s a beat-’em-up, it always has been.”
Austin: Yeah...I think that part of it worked for me...
Keith (overlapping): And, I felt like...
Austin: ...but like, eh...
Keith: Yeah, I felt like I was a—I was a—I was a—a defender of their decision to do that while also knowing, like, “I kind of don’t like [Austin laughs] any turn-based games.”
Austin: Right, right.
Keith: Like, [Ali laughs] I liked—I loved Pokemon—
Austin (overlapping): This—right. “This might be for you.” Right.
Keith: —and any time I play a turn-based game, I’m just like—[Austin sighs] I would—I just would want to play Pokemon instead—
Austin (overlapping): [Laughs] “I wish this was Pokemon.”
Keith: —there’s no other turn-based game I like.
Austin (overlapping): Yeah. Fair, fair.
Keith: Um, which I—which is maybe, uh, you know. A moral failing on my part, but...
Austin: Mm, that’s strong. I wouldn’t say it’s moral—a (laughing) moral failing. So much as a desire for—for those Pokemon.
Keith: Yeah...
Austin: You love Pokemon so much.
Keith (overlapping): But I also feel like Pokemon’s not—is not a very good game either.
Austin: Eh, I don’t know.
Keith (overlapping): But it is what I want. So...
Austin (overlapping): Yeah...that’s fair. Alright, we should time.is.
Ali: Yes...
Austin: Also, I’m only just real—I’m talking now, I’m being like “Wait a second, where’s my voice?” And the answer is holidays, so...
Keith: Yeah.
Ali (overlapping): Aw.
Austin: Um...
Keith: Yeah, I’ve got your—Ali’s louder than you at 100, you’re at 200.
Austin: I’ll get louder when it’s—when we’re—go—go time.
[Ali laughs]
Keith: That’s okay, no worries.
Austin (overlapping): Once we’re go time. Uh, do uh, ten seconds?
Ali: Yes, indeed.
[Pause]
[Everyone claps]
[Transition music: 3 descending chimes]
Sylvia: So excited to, like, actually play this [laugh] more than once.
Austin: Yeah...
Jack (overlapping): Yeah.
Dre: Mhm.
Austin: It seems—I’ve played it once, I had a really good time.
Jack: What is the main sport in Bluff City, I wonder? Is it—it’s probably baseball, right?
Austin: Basketball, probably.
Jack: Basketball.
Austin: I would think, yeah. It’s a—it’s a—
Jack (overlapping): We’ve—we’ve only encountered the fictional...(laughing) baseball team.
Austin: Yeah, we—yeah—
Jack (overlapping): Who are meeting aliens?
Austin: [Sigh] Baseball is like—I’m sure there are baseball teams nearby, but when I think about...when I think about highschool sports in—
Jack: Oh, sure...
Austin: —the mid-Atlantic, it’s like...it’s—football is also very—football is, like, the most popular sport in America, and so that’s it. But in terms of, like, kids playing it in their free time, it’s probably pick-up basketball, right? It’s like—
Jack: Mm...
Austin: —you go to the court with your basketball. Whereas, that’s, like, a hard thing to do with a football. You know?
Jack: Yeah...and you can’t play it on concrete.
Austin: Right. [Austin and Jack laugh softly] Exactly. Um...but like, that area is not a super...baseball-y...outside of, like—again, it’s also an income and race thing, right? Like—
Jack: Sure.
Austin: —if you go to a highschool with a good baseball team, you can, like—like a lot of my friends in highschool played on the baseball team and hoped to get baseball scholarships and stuff. Or, not my friends, but people in my highschool is really what I mean.
Sylvia (overlapping): Yeah.
Austin: Ryan [bleep] is what I mean. [Laugh] Uh—[Dre and Jack laugh] uh...so.
Jack (overlapping): [Laugh] Was he good at baseball?
Austin: He was a pitcher—he was—he was pretty good. I don’t know that he ever—
Dre (overlapping): I feel like I’ve heard that name...
Austin: Right? I don’t think he ever did...I don’t think he, like, stuck it out. Probably junior league into—
Jack (overlapping): Well he’s an Australian football player.
Austin: Oh yeah, he moved to Australia and got into—and got into soccer.
Dre (overlapping): Yeah, there you go.
Austin: That’s right. Uh-huh. Um...yeah, I have no idea. I don’t check in on highschool people. (Whispering) At all.
Jack: No. There’s no joy down that road.
Austin: No. Exactly. Exactly. Uh...why can’t I search this document?
Jack: Thank you for posting that character sheet, by the way, Dre. Just having something like that that’s editable is very good.
Dre: Yeah.
Austin (overlapping): Oh, all of the in-game ones are also just that, which is nice. They just have it, which is fantastic. Or it’s similar, I guess.
Jack (overlapping): Oh, they built the PDF to do that?
Sylvia: Yeah.
Jack: That’s really good.
Austin: Or, not the PDF, the—the—you open up your sheet right now on Roll20, you will see.
Jack (overlapping): Oh, sweet!
Austin: That it’s, like, a very clean decent sheet.
Jack: [Laugh] Hi, Keith.
Austin: [Sigh] Clean and—
Keith: [Very loud and distorted] Hello.
Jack: Oh my god.
Sylvia (overlapping): Hey.
Austin (overlapping): Oh!
Keith: [Still loud and distorted] Ooh, gears up?
Austin (overlapping): You’re way...too hot.
Sylvia (overlapping): Mic’s hot.
Dre: Keith is hot.
Keith: [Slightly less distorted] Hello...
Austin: That’s—
Sylvia: Better.
Keith: [holding out last vowel and changing pitch] ...ooooo! Okay. Why is that happening?
Sylvia: I don’t know—
Jack (overlapping): Keith auditioning as a Partizan synthesizer.
[Everyone laughs]
[Pause]
Keith: Oh, I know why. I remember—I remember why. When I was fucking with mic stuff earlier, I had turned my, um...Audacity recording thing all the way up to a hundred—
Austin: Mm.
Jack: Ah.
Keith: And so, I saw my slider—”Oh, my slider is lower than usual.”
Austin: Mhm.
Keith: Bump that up to normal, and now I’m too hot.
Jack: Makes sense.
Keith: Yup.
Austin: It does make sense.
Jack: I like that it says “Sylvi’s character,” “Jack’s character,” “Keith’s character,” “Ronny Lee Highsmith Jr.” [Laugh]
[Sylvia laughs]
Austin: Well—
Sylvia: God.
Austin: —someone got me a character name.
[Jack laughs]
Sylvia: I’m—oof.
Jack: (Excited) Amazing.
Austin: This is what it is.
Keith (overlapping): Got my...got my coffee. I got my—
Sylvia: Can we get time.is up?
Keith: I have, uh...I have a new—I have a new guilty pleasure snack.
Austin: Coffee.
[Dre laughs]
Keith: No. [Jack laughs] It’s a—
Austin: Sure.
Keith: —it’s a snack—and, cut this out, ‘cause I don’t endorse this product. [Austin snorts] We’re not live, right?
Jack: No, we’re not gonna be live. [Laugh]
Austin (overlapping): We’re never gonna be live.
Dre: Mm-mm.
Keith: Oh, this isn’t live? Oh, right, this is Bluff. Right.
Austin: Uh-huh.
Sylvia (overlapping): Yeah.
Keith (overlapping): Sorry. It’s been so long since I did a Bluff.
Austin (overlapping): I know. I know.
Keith: Um...uh...I, uh...you know—I’m a sucker for, like, a snack bar or a protein bar. I like a KIND bar or like, a—when I was a kid, I loved Power Bars. Peanut butter Power Bars. I can’t explain it, but I love them.
Austin: Yeah, I also love them. Same. There’s like that—I liked the weird gritty-ness, because...
Keith: Yeah, and like, the extremely firm bizarre texture—
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: —and the not-quite-peanut-butter—
Austin: Yup. Uh-huh.
Keith: —peanut butter flavor to it?
Austin: Totally. It’s like—it’s like a snack from another dimension.
Keith: [Laugh] Right. Yeah, it totally is.
Austin (overlapping): Right? (Laughing) You know what I mean?
Keith: [Laugh] So I've been resisting for a really long time trying the [bleep] bar, because it drives me crazy that it’s pretending that it’s medicine...
Jack: Mmm...
Austin (overlapping): Oh, I see—
Keith (overlapping): ...on it. I don’t know if you—
Austin: —it’s like a prescription bar. I see. Like, that Rx.
Keith (overlapping): —I don’t—I don’t know if anyone’s ever seen these bars.
Austin: No.
Keith: But on it—
Dre: Yes. Mhm.
Keith (overlapping): —on it, it brags about how few ingredients it has. Which I think is a nice thing to have, but a weird thing to brag about. And also if you’re calling—having a food bars that only has, like, 6 dates and 2 almonds or whatever. That’s reversed.
Austin (overlapping): An egg white, or whatever.
Keith: An egg white—
Jack: Oh! I know this bar.
Keith (overlapping): Calling it—like, “Now that makes it medicine.”
Austin: Mhm.
Keith: “It’s medicine! Now it has egg whites—”
Jack (overlapping): Not how it works.
Keith: “--and almonds and dates in it. [Austin laughs] And not anything else.” Um, but I had one, and geez they’re really good. [Austin laughs] They’re—[laugh] so now I buy the stupid medicine bar.
Austin: [Laugh] That’s how they getcha.
Keith (overlapping): The peanut butter one’s good, the chocolate and sea salt is also good.
Austin: That sounds great.
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: I’ll try one of these if I see one.
Sylvia (overlapping): There’s, like, a granola bar we got that’s, like, dark chocolate and cocoa—
Jack: Ooh.
Sylvia: —that was really good. Um, and I think it had almonds in it too.
Keith (overlapping): What kind of—what kind of bar was it?
Sylvia: It was just a granola bar. I can’t remember the brand off the top of my head right now.
Keith (overlapping): Mm...that kind of sounds like a KIND bar to me.
Sylvia: It might have been? I think it started with a “k.” I don’t know—
Keith: Yeah, I think it—
Sylvia: —it was nice? I’m just—
Keith: Yeah.
Sylvia: —joining in Snack Chat.
Austin: Yeah!
[Dre laughs]
Keith: I—when I was a—when I worked at the Barnes and Noble cafe, I would steal KIND bars all the time for my lunch. I would—I would make a—make a coffee drink and steal 2 KIND bars.
Sylvia: Hell yeah.
Austin: The...nicest thing about working for VICE in the early years of working for VICE was free KIND bars, which...
Keith: [Laugh] It fucking rules! [Laugh]
Austin (overlapping): ...which is, like, what a company—what a company does when they want you to not stop working and take lunch. But also, I was busy. (Laughing) I didn’t have time to take lunch.
Keith: Yeah. Yeah.
Austin: (Laughing) I did have time to eat a free KIND bar. Um, so.
Keith: And they’re like 2 bucks if you don’t steal them.
Austin: No, they’re expensive. [Sylvia laughs] I mean, this is the thing, is like—when I first showed up at VICE, it was very much that sort of startup company where it was, like, refrigerators filled with—
Keith (overlapping): They had, like, kegs of beer.
Austin: —they had kegs of beer. They had their own beer company, so it was free beer, everywhere. It was free cherry coke. Like, free—the biggest—
Keith: Ah.
Austin: —the biggest one that felt, like, this is to me, the—”this company is going to fail” thing—[Jack and Keith laugh] they had free peanut butter M&M’s. Which is, like—[laugh]
Keith: Oh...
Austin: You know what I mean? Like, you couldn’t even stop at peanut M&M’s, which were also there. They had to also include free peanut-butter M&M’s. Are you kidding me?
Jack (overlapping): I remember—I remember when I was in the office, and you—you—you didn’t just tell me this, Austin. You said—
Austin: Mhm.
Jack: —“Come with me.”
Austin: Mhm.
[Sylvia and Jack laugh]
Jack: Showed me to the room.
Austin: (overlapping): I can tell you, if a company—2018-2019 happened and they were like “Get rid of that free...all those free snacks.” The only drink we had left was ginger ale. [Jack laughs] We had ginger ale for a year. I—
Keith: Which is a good drink, but if you’re used to cherry coke...
Austin (overlapping): I liked ginger ale. But if you—but if you—but if you have cherry—and it was, like, cherry coke zero.
[Timestamp 00:10:00]
Austin (continued): Like it was not even just cherry—it was, like, perfect and you don’t have to feel bad (laughing) when I drank it as much. You know? [Laugh] So...
Keith: Yeah. I love ginger ale. I think it’s a criminally underrated beverage, but...
Austin (overlapping): I have a ginger ale right here. This is—ready—let’s—
Keith: (overlapping): Yeah.
Austin: —aw, I’ve already opened it—
Keith (overlapping): That’s one of the—
Austin: —so it didn’t do, like, the thing.
Keith: They’re—they’re trying—
Dre: How do you feel about, uh—oh, my bad.
Keith (overlapping): —they’re trying to make my favorite soda extinct.
Austin: Is it Moxie?
Sylvia (overlapping): What?
Keith: No. Well, I do love Moxie. They already succeeded making Moxie extinct, but—
Dre: What’s your favorite?
Keith (overlapping): —nowhere sells root beer anymore.
Jack: (Skeptical) What?
Austin: What?
Dre: Uh, I’ve seen plenty of root beer.
Austin: I feel like you’re in the wrong part of the country for root beer.
Sylvia (overlapping): That’s not....
Keith (overlapping): So—I—I can go—well, but I used to be able to go to any fast food place and get a root beer.
Austin: Mhm.
Keith: No fast food place has root beer anymore.
Dre: I will say that, yeah, I don’t think, like—at least the national chains around here—
Austin: Right. Sure.
Dre (overlapping): —like, I don’t think you could get it at, like, a McDonald’s or a Wendy’s.
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: But you can get it—but you can get a—
Keith (overlapping): But I used to.
Austin: You can get a bottle. You can get a two-liter.
Keith: Yeah. Yeah.
Dre: Yeah.
Austin (overlapping): Right?
Keith: I—yeah, and you could—yeah, you could get one of the bad—
Austin (overlapping): Or a 20 ounce or a—
Keith (overlapping): —you can get one of the bad ones. You can get A&W or MUG.
Austin: Yeah, no—I’m a Barq’s—Barq’s has bite.
Keith: I like Barq’s. Barq’s is the best of the normal ones that you can find places.
Austin (overlapping): But I love, like, a—I love, like, a...a local root beer. Also.
Sylvia: Mhm!
Keith (overlapping): Oh yeah.
Austin: Right? Like a, um...
Keith: Yup.
Austin: (Muffled)...god, what’s the name of the company?
Keith (overlapping): One of the best drinks.
Austin: I don’t—this is not the company that I—uh, Main Root root beer is really good. If you’ve ever had that, that’s good.
Dre: Ooh.
Keith: I like a root beer that actually tastes like plants.
Austin: Yeah. Sure.
Keith: Yeah, that’s the best. When you can really taste the—
Austin (overlapping): Dre, were you gonna—were you gonna bring up another, different drink? You were gonna ask...
Dre: Uh, you just mentioned ginger ale, and I wasn’t sure if you partake in the holiday tradition of cranberry ginger ale.
Austin: I don’t, like, regularly—
Keith (overlapping): Oh.
Austin: —but I love it. I would—if you gave me some right now—
Keith (overlapping): I love it. Oh, it’s so good.
Austin: —I’d be thrilled.
Dre: I bought three two-liters—
Austin: Nice.
Dre: —this weekend.
Austin: Good.
Dre: So...[laugh]
Keith: Well, okay, well here’s the thing—here’s—I do have to take issue, because I don’t like—cranberry ginger ale, I’ve been eating this since I was a kid. But the cranberry ginger ale that they sell, pre-mixed, not a fan.
Dre: Mmm...
Austin: Oh, so you like to—you like a home-made...
Dre: That’s fair.
Keith: I like a home-made one. Because I think it—
Dre (overlapping): That’s definitely not the nicest ginger ale.
Keith: It’s not the nicest ginger ale, but also I feel like the cranberry—it’s like a cranberry-flavored juice that they add.
Austin (overlapping): Yeah. Mhm.
Keith: Not the full, extremely tart, cranberry juice.
Dre (overlapping): Yeah.
Austin: Yeah. Sure. Fair.
Keith: Um...
Austin: Um, the thing that’s very holiday-y for me that I just literally have not had...in years is President’s Choice mulled apple, like, soda.
Keith: Mold apple?
Austin: It’s a—it’s an apple soda, basically.
Dre: M-U-L-L-E-D.
Austin: Yeah—yeah, mulled.
Keith (overlapping): OH! [Laugh]
Austin: Mulled? Mulled? [Keith continues laughing] Not mold, yeah.
Keith: Like moldy.
Austin: This is one of those sounds I don’t know how to make right. You know? Um...but it’s, like, an apple soda and it’s so good. And they, like, stopped selling it even when I was up there, still. But...um, ‘cause it’s a Canada thing—it’s a—it’s a...
Keith: President’s choice.
Austin (overlapping): I almost said a Bob Loblaw’s, but it’s [Austin and Sylvia laugh] not Bob Loblaw’s. It’s just called Loblaw’s, isn’t it?
Sylvia: Yeah...
Austin: (Laughing) Okay.
Keith: President’s Choice—
Sylvia (overlapping): I’ll keep an eye out, but if you said they stopped making it, that sucks.
Keith: A Canadian private label—
Sylvia (overlapping): ‘Cause I would like to try that.
Keith: —brand owned by Loblaw companies, ltd.
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: Who’s the president? Who’s—
Austin: Bob Loblaw. [Laugh]
Keith (overlapping): —which president is this the choice of? [Laugh]
Austin: The president of the company.
[Pause]
Keith: Oh, so this is like—
Sylvia (overlapping): They’re, like, owned by a...big family, I think is...
Austin: Probably, right?
Sylvia (overlapping): ...the thing with Loblaw’s. Yeah...
Keith: ‘Cause Canada does not have a president, so it can’t be that one.
Austin: Uh, Canada—doesn’t Canada, like, have a president but it’s not the way that we think of, like, president? Is there another—
Sylvia (overlapping): [Stammering] Fuck if I know...
[Keith and Jack laugh]
Austin: Is there not, like, a...
Sylvia (overlapping): Yeah, it’s the Weston family that own...like, Loblaw’s and a bunch of grocery stores around here, and they’re fucking terrible. [Laugh]
Austin: Sorry, I was thinking of the Governor General—
Keith (overlapping): Are they also the hotel people?
Austin: —of Canada, who is not a president. My bad.
Keith: Ooh, Governor General’s a good villain position.
Jack (overlapping): Is the Governor General of Canada the Queen? What’s her—
Austin (overlapping): So—so, yes. The Governor General is the Queen—is the Queen’s rep in Canada.
Jack: Oh...
Austin (overlapping): That’s who the governor is.
Jack (overlapping): ...sure.
Sylvia: Hmm.
Austin: So.
Jack: Like a kind of (laughing) Sovereign Immunity.
Austin: Yeah, it’s the [Dre laughs] Sovereign Immunity of Canada.
Keith (overlapping): Imagine...imagine getting rid—getting rid of your...of your monarchy like ninety-eight percent.
Austin: Yeah. The Governor General has to, I believe...tell me if I’m wrong, if you’re on the podcast. If you’re not on the podcast, I’m sorry. I will have looked it up by the time you tell me, so don’t tell me.
Sylvia: I have no idea. I don’t—like, the Canadian, like, structure for all that shit, particularly pertaining to, like, connections to the monarchy—
Austin: Sure.
Sylvia: —is so confusing to me.
Austin: The way the—my understanding is, the Prime Minister gets elected. Prime Minister says “You know who’d be a good Governor General? This person I know.” [Chuckle] And then [Jack chuckles] the Queen goes “Yeah, sounds right.” And then makes that person Governor General. Then, the Governor General is the one who has to say, like “And you are the Prime Minister!”
Keith: Oh, so you pick your—
Austin (overlapping): Basically.
Keith: —you pick your person who agrees that you win?
Austin: Ba—that is my—I believe—I believe that that’s the case.
Dre: Hm.
[Pause]
Austin: That’s, like, the song and dance of it.
Keith: That does remind me of the little play that they do in, uh...the U.K.
Jack: Oh!
Keith: Like, it’s a similar sort of thing—
Jack (overlapping): We do all—[laugh]
Keith: —where you have—you have to go through—just some perfunctory rigamarole.
Jack: Mm. Mhm.
Sylvia: Oh, is that what the big stick’s for? The big staff? Or no?
Jack: Yeah...
Sylvia: Do they just not touch that?
Austin: (Laughing) Jack, I’m sorry.
Sylvia: Sorry. [Laugh]
Jack (overlapping): Well, the big stick has two purposes, right? [Laughter in the background] And we’re not gonna air this. Purpose one is for the—
Keith (overlapping): Do you have to rap on a door with it?
Jack: Well, purpose one is for the fancy play and purpose two is for when we k—[beep] the person holding it when the revolution comes. [Laugh]
Sylvia: Oh, okay.
[Keith laughs]
Austin: Please, you mean when we—when we k-word. [Laugh]
Jack: (Laughing) Oh, sure. [Dre laughs] [Tries to speak through laughter]
Sylvia: It’s hard to put an asterisk in that word—
Austin: Uh-huh.
Sylvia: —when you’re speaking it. You know?
Jack: When they d-word—
Austin (overlapping): What could it mean?
Jack: —I don’t (laughing) want to get banned. [Dre laughs]
Keith: Jack was in character.
Austin: Right. Yes. (Laughing) Yeah, this is [laugh] role playing. We’re roleplaying.
Keith (overlapping): This is all in character.
Sylvia (overlapping): Oh my god.
Austin: This is all roleplay. [Laugh]
Jack (overlapping): I’ve been speaking in character, and now I’m going to speak out of character. I think we should (laughing) destroy the monarchy.
[Austin laughs, Sylvia and Keith join in laughing]
Austin: Uh, alright. We should do a time.is.
Sylvia: Okay.
Jack: Um...yeah, let’s do it.
Austin: International Human Solidarity Day.
Jack: Aw, yay!
Sylvia (overlapping): Oh, you sure?
[Keith groans]
Dre: Hmm...
Sylvia: Mm?
[Jack groans]
Austin: Trying to be so—time to have solidarity. (Reading) “Solidarity is identified in the Millenium Declaration as one of the fundamental values of international relations in the 21st century, wherein those who either suffer or benefit least deserve help from those who benefit most.”
Jack: Oh.
Austin: Thanks, UN. Thanks, UN, for the most toothless version of solidarity you could fucking imagine.
Jack: You know what the most—
Austin: Consequently, in the context of globalization—
Keith (overlapping): Solidarity is when rich people feel bad—
Jack (overlapping): Yeah. [Laugh]
Keith: —that there’s poor people, right?
Austin: Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Jack: The most tooth-ful kind of solidarity is, of course, that bit at the end of Night in the Woods where all the old people kill the boss [Austin laughs] and take his tooth. And then put it in their house forever.
Austin: [Laugh] Oh...alright. Ready to do a clap?
Jack: Let’s do it.
Austin: Let’s do ten seconds.
[Synchronized clap]
Austin: Alright!
[Transition music: 3 descending chimes]
Janine: How you doing, Art?
Art: Eh, you know, fine.
Janine: Yeah?
Art: How are you?
Janine (overlapping): You building a new PC?
Art: I’ve ordered it from just a different company, and the ship date is the 23rd.
Janine: Of December?
Art (overlapping): So Merry Christmas to me—yeah.
Janine: Yeah. Alright.
Art: Yeah.
Keith: That’s a little bit late for a ship date.
[Pause]
Janine: Covid, man.
Art (overlapping): Um—
Keith: Yeah.
Art: I think it’s—
Keith (overlapping): And Black Friday.
Art: —I think it’s ‘cause graphics cards are hard to get right now.
Janine: Oh, yeah. That’s—
Keith (overlapping): Oh, did you get a 3080?
Art: Uh, yeah. That’s right.
Keith: Yeah. Those are tough.
Janine: I feel like the only way you can get them is by getting them in a machine at this point. That’s how I got mine
Keith: Yeah. [Deep inhale] I, uh—I have—I have my first Intel card that I put in my machine last...uh, in April, when I built it. Um...and normally, I would keep it for a few years...I mean, obviously. But it makes a really obnoxious clicking sound when the fans are at low speed. So when, like, I’m not playing a game it, like, makes like a [click] [click] [click] sound?
Janine (overlapping): Is there a wire or something that’s—that’s rubbing up against the fan?
Keith: No, it’s coming from the inside of the fan. It’s—and it’s just—
Janine: Oh...
Keith (overlapping): —one of the two fans. So I can tell because I opened the case and I stopped one of the fans from spinning and it stopped the noise, but the other one didn’t stop the noise. And there’s obviously nothing in front of it. Um, I got, like, a very cable-management-y case, and so—
Janine: Mmm...
Keith: —there’s nothing even close to it that could be making a noise. Uh, and I looked it up, and it’s kind of common with this card. But I might try and sell it, ‘cause it’s not that old. It’s a 20—it’s like, the 2060 plus, or whatever.
Janine: Mm.
Keith: Um, so, it’s from a—it’s from a couple years ago, and it works great, but it’s got that very annoying click. So I just have to have a custom fan speed of 40% all the time, minimum. Or it’ll click and drive me insane.
Janine: Is there not, like, a known...fix? Like taking the fan out—
Keith (overlapping): No, there’s no known fix.
Janine (overlapping): —and like sanding something, or...
Keith: There—I saw people saying that you could send it back to them, but they—but they don’t—they repair it. They don't, like, give you a new one. And that some people got them back and it still did it. And also that [Janine sighs] uh, it...I don’t know for sure that it’s covered by warranty, so you might have to pay for it to be done.
Janine: Mm...
Keith: Yeah, so...uh, it was not the most expensive card. It was actually, like, the cheapest card that I thought would still perform well. Um...but the—and I don’t know that I need a 3080. But the 3060 just came out. [Pause] So, I don’t know.
Janine (overlapping): Yeah, I mean that’ll—that’ll do ya.
[Timestamp 00:20:00]
Keith: Yeah.
Janine: They’re still selling new computers with 1080s in them, like—
Austin: [Sigh] Hello.
Keith: Hello.
Dre: Don’t get that—
Janine: Hey.
Dre: —don’t get a 1080.
Janine: No, I just...um...my—yeah, I had a 1080, like, last year? Or something like that. Or the year before, maybe? And now I’m just, like, “Should I try and sell this? Like what do I—”
Austin: Yeah...
Janine: —it feels so weird to just have a PC full of components that I’m just not using now.
Austin: Turn it into a streaming computer.
Keith: (overlapping): Yeah...
Austin: That’s the thing I keep thinking about doing with my old one.
Dre (overlapping): There you go!
Janine: Mmm no....absolutely not.
Austin (overlapping): No? Okay.
Janine: I’m not gonna have two towers in my—in my room. [Austin chuckles] That’s never...no.
Austin: Okay.
Art: I gave my old computer to someone else to use as a streaming computer. I like that it gets a second life—
Austin: There you go.
Art: —and that I don’t have to manage it.
Keith (overlapping): Mmm.
Dre (overlapping): Mhm.
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: Yeah, that’s good.
Janine: Yeah...
Austin: I like that.
[Pause]
Keith: I got my—about 15, maybe 25 minutes before we started today. Or at least, before I joined the call. My...uh, my new Xbox got delivered.
Janine: Ooh.
Dre: Oh.
Keith (overlapping): What a hefty little thing!
Dre: Is it a Series X or an S?
Keith: It is a Series X. And it’s so small—like, I knew that it was smaller than it looked, and when I got it, I was still like, “Wow, this thing is small.” And then I picked it up and it—it is both slightly smaller than I was expecting and then about twice as heavy as I expected when I [laugh] went to pick it up, please.
Dre (overlapping): Very dense, huh?
Keith: So dense, it’s bizarre. Um...
Dre: Where did you end up getting it from?
Keith: I got it from GameStop. Actually, Dre, you put in the “Games” thing, like—
Dre: Mhm.
Keith: “Hey, GameStop is gonna have Xboxes again.” And I had just, like, two days before that gotten an email from them being like, “Hey, we saw that you tried to order an X? Do you want to actually order one?”
Dre: Oh, nice.
Keith: And then, cut to almost two weeks later and it showed up, so—
Austin: God.
Keith: —I don’t know how serious they actually were about having them.
Austin: Yeah...
Janine: Lot of new vape smoke through that thing?
Jack (overlapping): I’m back
Keith: Uh, no. No vape smoke. I haven’t—I haven’t really done anything with it. I turned it on, set it up. The app that everyone was like “Ah, it’s so easy to set it up through the app,” just didn’t work for me at all. I don’t know why.
Jack: Hm.
Janine: Hm...
Keith: And so, I had to do it the normal console way, but that was totally fine. I just wish I didn’t spend 9 minutes trying to figure out why the app wasn’t working. [Janine chuckles] And then, you know, it’s just—it just looks like my Xbox, and I’m in—I set it up to install some games. Um, some (laughing) old games, because there’s no new games to put on it. Um...
Art: I’m very concerned about the scalping culture that’s developing around the new consoles, and that it’ll just never—
Dre (overlapping): Oh, it’s terrible!
Art: That it’ll—it’ll keep these from being available for longer than naturally would be.
Keith: Mhm.
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: Mhm.
Dre: Yeah.
Art: Like, price memory is gonna be a problem.
Austin: Yeah...
Janine: To be honest, it’s probably for the best that it’s hard to get a PS5 until they do a revision, because that thing needs a fucking revision.
Keith: I heard a lot of people—
Art (overlapping): Is that right?
Keith: —talking about different little problems—
[Janine sighs]
Austin (overlapping): I have had a lot of problems with it—
Dre (overlapping): Yeah...
Keith (overlapping): It’s, like, a lot of little things.
Austin: I’ve had a lot of problems with it. Like, every time I try to upload a video...to YouTube, it, like, crashes back to desktop, basically. Like hard—like, every time, which is a core feature [laugh]. It doesn’t even—[Dre laughs] it doesn’t even go to where, like—it’s like, if i hit share—or, if I hit share, it’ll let me save a video. And then if I hit upload, it’ll take three—I have three seconds to hit “Please upload to YouTube really quick,” and if I hit that [Jack laughs] within the three seconds [Janine laughs] it’ll start the upload. But if I don’t, it crashes back.
Jack (overlapping): It’s a mini game.
Austin: Yeah, totally. That’s a feature, actually.
Janine (overlapping): (Disapprovingly) Mmm...
Keith (overlapping): That’s bizarre.
Dre (overlapping): That’s—that’s...
Austin: And I’ve had—and I've had weird loading stutters. Like, in Dark Souls, just running around from one area to another, like it's having some sort of hard drive issue. Like, it’s been weird. The front USB port on mine works, but on some friends of mine—multiple friends of mine have had their front USB port just not work.
Keith: I’ve heard this from several people—
Dre (overlapping): Yeah...
Keith: —or that it works really badly.
Austin: Yes. Yes. Yes.
Dre: Or only works when it’s, like, turned actively on or whatever.
Austin: Mhm.
Dre: Yeah, the amount of leeway I seem to hear people giving the PS5 for the amount of, like, UI and weird hardware issues it has...
Austin (overlapping): I also hate the UI. Ugh.
Dre: ...has been, like, bizarre—like, yes it is a new thing and it’s been made during a pandemic. But also, they’re charging—
Keith: Yeah.
Dre: —five hundred dollars for it, so it should work.
Keith (overlapping): I think it—I think it shows, like, a lot of—you see a lot of where the good will towards PlayStation systems live when, like, this is stuff that would destroy Microsoft for, like, two years—
Dre: Yeah.
Keith: —in, like, a PR way?
Dre: I mean it did!
Austin (overlapping): Red ring of death 2! [Keith laughs, Janine sighs] Let’s go! Yeah. [Pause] Are we all back?
Sylvia: Uh, think so.
Jack: Yeah.
Dre: Believe so.
Janine: Mhm.
Austin: Alright.
[Outro music]
[End]
[Timestamp 00:25:18]