RC #747

Agents Parke and Thorpe return in the latest series of this wacky sitcom. When Thorpe loses her flashpatch, can Parke persuade the Quartermaster to give her a new one before she gets kicked out of HQ?

The Venusian

OFUM’s movie-creation continues unabated. Mockumentary (or possibly just straight documentary) about Eärendil the Mariner. When the Doors of Night are closed, Eärendil is trapped outside in his gleaming ship. Can he survive, cut off from Valinor, until his wife persuades the Valar to open the gates again? And will the inhabitants of Middle-earth ever know of the trials and troubles of the lone inhabitant of the Evening Star?

Street-Market Sweep

Gameshow. This week, our lucky contestants are in Ankh-Morpork. Who can best evade the hazards of licensed thieves, open sewers, and Mr C.M.O.T. Dibbler’s sausage-inna-bun, to bring home the biggest basket of food?

Comparative Canons

Back-to-back showings of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The Return of the King: A Story of the Hobbits, and the third act of the Lord of the Rings musical stage-show, interspersed with analysis by our team in the Department of Intelligence.

Infodump

Our three-part news program, featuring:

HQ News: In partnership with the Multiverse Monitor (both of them). Quiddich scores, corridor service issues, Flower mood charts, and of course the latest prices from Rudi’s.

Canon Watch: Marvel Cinematic Universe special, including all the TV shows. A must-see for any up-to-date PPC agent.

Fandom Freak-outs: (Previously Fantastic Fails, previously Fandom Fanatic) All the current trends in the most popular fandoms. One character displaying a disturbing tendency to turn evil? Send it in and we’ll feature it!

Stars War: Utumno Strikes Back

Part of OFUM’s lead-in to the release of Star Wars - The Force Awakens. Following Lukwё’s destruction of the Starkiller, the Great March is finally underway. But can even the mighty Vala Oromё defend the Eldar against the horde of abominable Orcs Melkor has now unleashed?

Songs of Arda

Former agent Dafydd Illian presents his unique viewpoint the musical heritage of Middle-earth. Warning for sarcasm, Quenya. [Repeat]

Adult Movie: Censorship

Cutting-edge experimental ‘hardcore’ ‘NC-17’ movie. When all visuals and sound are blacked and bleeped out, what does it really mean that intense pornographic action took place in front of the camera?

Canon Primer

Blyton week, part 2. Agent Hust summarises the Faraway Tree and Wishing Chair stories, with excerpts from each of the books. In the absence of badfic to film in, this episode features dramatic reconstructions by the Children’s Literature team.

Sprouting for Hobbits

Kids’ gameshow sponsored by the DOOCH. Bloom and Blossom are stuck in their hobbit hole (again). A posy of Sprouts must riddle with Gollum, pass Gandalf’s fireworks puzzles, and complete the Forest River Barrel Bonanza to rescue them - while collecting as many mithril mushrooms as they can grab!

Wobblevision

Wobbles the Clown presents her entertaining show for nursery-age children. This episode apparently contains ‘stuff’, ‘things’, and ‘paperwork is boring’.

Hyperchrome

The thrilling children’s series. Agent Market’s broken RA puts the team in danger once again! Will Technician Sylvester be able to reach the stranded agents before Moira succumbs to Suemonia?

RC #747

Agents Parke and Thorpe return in the latest series of this wacky sitcom. When Thorpe loses her flashpatch, can Parke persuade the Quartermaster to give her a new one before she gets kicked out of HQ? (Uncut edition)

Jay and Acacia’s Happy Funtime Hour

The famous assassins hunt a Sue across Hogwarts, but will the moving stairs puzzle them too much? Featuring the ever-popular Makes-Things Makes Things, and a broomstick counting game that your children will be certain to play for hours afterwards - even if you ask them not to!

Tree Fu Tom Bombadil

Tree Fu Bombadil is a jolly fellow/With Goldberry at his side, with her hair so yellow/But Old Man Willow’s come to give old Tom some trouble!/Children, sing his Tree Fu Song to pull Tom from the rubble!

Sensory Deprivation Ninety Minutes

Static. Ongoing research by the DMSE&R-Medical joint research team suggests that an hour of complete sensory deprivation helps children develop into well-rounded agents. Ongoing interviews with parents suggest that ‘the longer the better’.